Shows
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsBetween the Sessions: We Can't Keep Trying to Recapture the BeginningNatalie's revisiting some of the most-read Baggage Reclaim posts from the past 20 years in this new Between the Sessions series. In this minisode, Natalie talks about the issue of wanting to go back to the beginning of a relationship instead of recognising the reality of who we're involved with and what that might mean. Read the original article and comments Leave a voice note: https://www.speakpipe.com/baggagereclaim Support the podcast and leave a tip: https://baggagereclaim.ck.page/products/podcast Break The Cycle Relevant links and resources on th...
2025-12-0512 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 284: Shifting Our Understanding of AttachmentThis week's episode is about attachment, a topic Natalie's delving into for the first time with integrative coach, Elfreda Manahan-Vaughn because she's never been able to see herself in the popular attachment narrative, and she knew there must be others who felt the same way. Natalie and Elfreda discuss a more expansive, nuanced, inclusive understanding of attachment and how it can liberate, instead of hold you back. They talk about the importance of understanding one's own patterns, and the potential for personal growth and earned security, emphasising the adaptability of attachment styles and the steps individuals can take to...
2024-12-1349 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 283: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Natalie chats with Lindsay C. Gibson, the author of million-copy selling 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents'. They delve into the characteristics of emotionally immature parents, the impact on their children, and the resulting emotional loneliness. They also discuss the importance of understanding these dynamics, the process of reparenting, and the nuances of emotional expression. The conversation highlights how these experiences shape adult relationships and the tendency towards people pleasing as a coping mechanism. They round out their chat with advice for people who want to break the cycle in their own parenting and for those who've had to distance...
2024-11-291h 53The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 233: Eek, Am I Doing Self-Care Wrong?Natalie talks about how and why we put ourselves under pressure about taking care of ourselves and shares tips for breaking this perfectionism habit so that we don't have unrealistic expectations of self-care that cause us more harm than good. This is the last episode of the summer, and Natalie will be back on September 10th 2021. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Shop
2021-07-1649 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 194: Let's Talk About Self-SabotageNatalie explains why over-giving, over-responsibility, people-pleasing, perfectionism and overthinking are forms of self-sabotage. **Please note! The podcast will go on hiatus until 11th September. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-07-3159 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 193: The Landmarks of Boundaried CommunicationAm I doing boundaries right? Is this an OK boundary for me to have? Natalie explains how we can use the landmarks of boundaried communication--compassion, congruency, clarity, ownership and grace--to help us see the wood for the trees and build our confidence with communicating who we are through healthier boundaries. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-07-2450 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 192: "I Guilt You So Much!"So many of us don't realise how we spend our lives doing things from a place of guilt. We think we're being noble and loving, but near-constantly feeling bad about ourselves and avoiding healthy boundaries and self-care leads to resentment and unhealthy relationships. Natalie talks about what's really going on with our perpetual guilt. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-07-1742 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 191: About Defining The RelationshipDefining the relationship is something that so many people struggle with even though they want to know where they stand and hate ambiguity and the anxiety that comes with it. Natalie talks about why defining the relationship conversations don't have to be so awkward and scary. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-07-101h 00The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 190: Did I scare them off? Was it my Jedi mind tricks?Weeks, months or even years have gone by, and we're still seething or angsting over that foot we think we put wrong or what we imagine our oh-so-powerful influence caused someone or a situation to become. Natalie delves into why we languish on the notion that we scared something or someone away. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-07-0351 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 189: Let's Talk About ChemistryChemistry, that hard-to-put-your-finger-on feeling that we experience (or think we do) with certain people is a relationship pothole that so many of us walk into time and again. Natalie breaks down why we mistake 'chemistry' for emotional disturbance and shares tips for breaking the habit to forge healthier relationships. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-06-2639 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 188: The Landmarks of Healthy RelationshipsHow do we distinguish a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one? Natalie explains the landmarks of healthy relationships: balance, commitment, consistency, intimacy and progression. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-06-1937 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 186: Following Through On Intentions & Words With ActionNatalie expands on a video she shared on Instagram to explain how to match your actions with your intentions and words during this time of increased awareness and conversations about racism. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-06-0544 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 186: Let's Talk About GaslightingThere was a time when people thought that gaslighting was something that occurred purely within the context of abusive relationships, but it's far more prevalent than we realise. Natalie shares examples and how to recognise it, plus she explains why we mustn't normalise gaslighting and let it go unchecked. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-05-2954 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 184: 'Why Am I Feeling OK?' and Other WorriesNatalie explores four common responses to the pandemic that people are grappling with: Why am I feeling OK?, Why am I not OK?, Why am I so angry?, and Why aren't I doing more? Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-05-2256 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 183: Normal People and Casual RelationshipsWhen Natalie mentioned on Instagram Stories that she was loving the TV adaption of Sally Rooney's novel, Normal People, she received a flurry of replies about this portrayal of a casual (sometimes secret) relationship mixed with a complicated friendship. Natalie talks about some of the sources of hurt and misunderstanding in casual relationships and what we can learn from our participation. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-05-1544 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 182: Your 'Worthiness' Isn't To BlameWhat if having your needs and wants met has absolutely nothing to do with how worthy you are and whether you 'deserve' it? Natalie shares a recent light-bulb moment and talks about why we have to stop telling ourselves the lie that our worthiness is to blame. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-05-1427 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 181: Unsatisfactory Endings and Closing The Story LoopHumans don't like unsatisfactory endings, hence why we feel as if we're left hanging by the sudden cancellation of a TV series or a dodgy ending. Natalie talks about how our desire to close loops can cause us to do things like seek validation, wait for a call we didn't want or to feel as if the 'bad guy' won. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2020-05-0134 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp.180: Time For A Second (Or Umpteenth) Chance?When someone shows us who they are, they're showing us their values. If that's different to who we are and where we want to go, we have to acknowledge this. But sometimes, despite what we know, we look to give a second (or umpteenth) chance. Natalie breaks down what's really going on in these situations so that when we do give (or receive) chances, we do so with more awareness and truth. Instagram | Break The Cycle | Blog | Membership
2020-04-2438 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 178: About Allowing You To Feel AngrySo many of us struggle with giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings, especially when it comes to anger. Natalie talks about why allowing ourselves to feel angry is critical to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing, and why acknowledging our 'silent rage' helps us to be more aware of our people-pleasing. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership
2020-04-1033 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 177: Discomfort and the Time-Off ThermostatWhat's your tolerance for discomfort, boredom or time out from your typical routine? Natalie talks about our discomfort with having time and space, especially when it means that we might feel and think more than our typical way of life allows for. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership
2020-04-0340 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 176: Voicing Issues To Be Better Than BeforeNatalie revisits the topic of improving communication in our intimate relationships. When we recognise that we're experiencing an issue or that we need to express difficult emotions or thoughts, we sometimes decide to keep it to ourselves so that we don't hurt the other party's feelings or ourselves. But the moment we do this, we're blocking intimacy. It creates more problems than if we'd spoken up in the first place. Instagram | Classes | Blog | Membership
2020-03-2747 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 175: Hard Resets, Anxiety and Corona Miracles with ExesWhat do you do when you feel as if your whole world has been turned upside down? Well, that's something that a lot of us are feeling right now. Natalie shares some thoughts on navigating anxiety and uncertainty. She also digs into some questions/situations that have cropped up thanks to Coronavirus: Do I have to check up on people/family? My ex reached out to me. What does it mean? What do I do? I'm thinking about contacting my ex. Also, what am I going to do about dating??? How do I deal with other people's anxiety...
2020-03-2058 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 174: Let's Not Be Cool With Taking Advantage Or Being Taken Advantage OfSometimes we find ourselves in a situation where it becomes apparent that we're not taking the best care of ourselves, but also, that the other party is benefitting from it. Natalie talks about why even though we can do something, like keep messing with someone who is way more into us than we are, it doesn't mean that we should. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2020-03-1334 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 173: It's Time To Talk About StonewallingHave you ever experienced stonewalling in a relationship (or possibly engaged in it yourself)? In another episode about understanding and improving communication in our intimate relationships, Natalie breaks down stonewalling including delving into three common scenarios: Shutting down expressing of feelings, thoughts and concerns. Using stonewalling and silent treatment to communicate displeasure or be punitive. Stonewalling and then blindsiding with a breakup. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2020-03-0658 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 172: It's Okay To Not Know What You WantNatalie talks about why not knowing what you want doesn't have to mean something terrible and why it's going to be tricky to listen to what you want if you're not listening to and meeting your needs. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2020-02-2136 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 171: Waiting For The Other Shoe To DropMeeting someone new sometimes causes us to become preoccupied with answering the question 'Are you trustworthy?' When things are going well in an area of our life, this sometimes also causes us to wonder 'When are things going to go wrong?' Natalie talks about the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2020-02-1455 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 170: Conflict & The Five Stages of RelationshipsSomething that makes so many of us nervous is navigating conflict within romantic relationships. Natalie revisits her five stages of relationship framework to explain conflict and how it's part of deepening intimacy in relationships and becoming more self-aware. *Please note*: The correct date for the New York workshop mentioned in the episode is May 24th not 23rd. Doh! Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2020-02-0756 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 169: 'They journal/meditate/do yoga/go to therapy. Shouldn't they be more emotionally intelligent?'Some people feel confused, angry and hurt when their relationship doesn't work out because they believed that the person 'should' have delivered because of self-care practices they engaged in. Natalie explains why just because someone journals, meditates, goes to yoga or therapy, it doesn't mean that they're super emotionally intelligent, really good at relationships or, yes, 'better' than you. Instagram | Events | Blog| Membership
2020-01-3152 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 168: Lessons From Freaking OutHave you ever freaked out about something, noticed that you are, continued to freak out somewhat, but then calmed down? That's what happened to Natalie recently when her daughter had to prepare for five exams in one day. She shares lessons from that experience, including why we panic about "failing" at a decision and this notion that our younger self had to get everything "right" for us to have a good life today. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2020-01-2445 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 167: Beep Me 911 - Why didn't you text back?Texting anxiety has become increasingly prevalent over the years. Between read receipts, being able to see if they're online or when they were last online, seeing someone type and then pause, and seeing their likes on social media while you await a reply, it's pretty easy to destroy our inner peace. But what about when you're experiencing this while dating? Natalie explains why we drive ourselves crazy over strangers and why we have to use the recognition of our anxiety to change our relationship with texts and dating. Instagram | Events | Blog| Membership | How To Say No ebook
2020-01-171h 05
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 166: We've Got To Stop Pumping People Up With Our Great ExpectationsTrying to get something or someone to live up to the picture we painted in our mind can be a great source of hurt for us humans. It's something we have to strive to do less of to heal, grow and learn. What Natalie highlights in the first episode of 2020, though, is how part of what keeps us stuck in this disappointment cycle is that, sometimes, the very people who can't or don't want to meet those expectations *still* want us to continue expecting. Why? Because they benefit from it. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2020-01-1040 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 165: Acceptance Is The Way ThroughNatalie gets ready for her Christmas break and the new year and decade ahead by sharing her thoughts on the gift of acceptance. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-12-2020 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 164: Am I In The Right Job?So many people wonder if they're in the right relationship, but plenty wonder if they're in the right job. Given how much time we spend at work, it's understandable that disillusionment or uncertainty about it can significantly impact our sense of wellbeing. Natalie takes a deep dive into the subject of work, including what causes us to question whether we're in the right job in the first place and the signs that suggest that we're not. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-12-131h 25
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 163: Keeping Up With Comparison Part TwoIn the second of this two-part episode (part one), Natalie shares ideas for breaking the cycle of comparison. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-12-0640 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 162: Keeping Up With Comparison Part OneDo you feel inadequate around certain people or suddenly feel as if your life that you're normally happy with is like poop beside theirs? Do you come away from using social media feeling really low without realising it? Is there a persistent feeling and belief that you're not 'good enough'? These are all signs of comparison, something that all humans do but that we're often unaware of how much and how damaging it can be. In the first of this two-part episode, Natalie breaks down comparison, including sharing her own recent experiences of it. Instagram | Events | Blog | Member...
2019-11-2951 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 161: The Secret Sauce of Being You Is The Remedy For Life's ChallengesAll humans desire acceptance the most, but a hell of a lot of us are scared of the real us being rejected and so we struggle to be ourselves. But this always leads to problems. Natalie shares lessons she's learned from spending the last few months conducting an experiment on being even more herself in a particular area of her life. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-11-2244 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 160: Interest In Someone or Something is a HypothesisHave you given you a hard time about interested in something or someone that turned out to be wrong for you? Or, has someone's change of interest in you or a relationship left you baffled and hurt? In this week's episode, Natalie explains why it's time to rethink our attitude to interest and recognise that interest is a hypothesis that we can learn from so that we can be more us and choose the relationships and things that reflect this. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-11-151h 15
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 159: Feeling Stressed Or Overwhelmed Isn't An Inconvenience; It's HelpIf you've ever been self-critical because you're stressed or feeling overwhelmed or low-energy, it's time to pay attention to these messages from your life. Natalie talks about the importance of recognising that we're stressed and over our bandwidth without having to burn out or melt down. Instagram | Events | Blog| Membership You Tube episode about mental health and black women
2019-11-0853 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 157: 'Damaged Goods' & Relationship ExperienceWhen we think that we (or others) are 'damaged goods' because of what might be a lack of relationship experience or time spent in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships, this dents our confidence, limits our options, but also creates unnecessary judgement. Natalie offers up a different perspective on what the experience on our proverbial relationship resume means (and doesn't). Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-10-2634 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 156: "I didn't want to pass up an opportunity."What's the similarity between engaging with an ex who didn't treat us very well, feeling burnt out and resentful after taking on extra work, and deliberating about or regretting something that we know isn't/wasn't a fit? They're all things that we've done or are contemplating doing *because* we perceive them to be "opportunities". Natalie breaks down why we need to be more discerning about opportunities, including sharing some tips on recognising when something *isn't* the opportunity we think it might be. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-10-181h 11
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 131: The Trouble With 'Well-Meaning' Bad AdviceDid you know that three days before Natalie met Em, she broke it off with a guy that she'd been dating for three weeks? She would have finished it sooner had she not doubted herself and listened to well-meaning friends who told her that she was being "hasty" and "picky". In this episode, Natalie talks about why loved ones give bad advice and why we don't have to go along with it to spare their feelings. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2019-03-1536 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 118: Will The Real You Please Stand Up?People often get in touch with Natalie feeling as if they've been rejected for being the real them, but a bit of digging often reveals that they were pretending to be something they're not. This week, Natalie tackles faking it, blending in and trying to be perfect. Instagram | Events | Blog | Membership
2018-11-3043 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsReconnectingNatalie is back with The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. What do you do when you have a grand plan? Discover that life might have other ideas in store for you. In this episode, Natalie gives the cliff notes version of what's been going on during the almost ten-month break -- letting go, book proposal challenges that echo life, a marathon, hitting a low point and getting back up again. She also offers some insight into what she'll be exploring in upcoming episodes. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2018-07-2027 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 98: Speaking Out About Speaking OutWarning: This episode includes references to incidences that some listeners may prefer not to hear about or they may find triggering if they've experienced it themselves. In this episode, Natalie shares why she feels that she needs to speak out about speaking out. Sharing personal experiences of having spoken out about very difficult issues including harassment and assault, as well as anecdotes from readers, listeners and friends, Natalie created this episode because she hears all too often from people who don't speak up or speak out because they 'don't want to make a scene/fuss' or they fear being...
2017-10-0650 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 79: Too Bloody Nice For Our Own Good?In this episode, Natalie asks whether we really need space in the form of a casual relationship or something else altogether, draws the line on being too nice for our own bloody good, and talks about two types of texts that prompt delayed replies: short but loaded and super long. This week's listener question is, How do I deal with my imposing co-worker?, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-03-241h 05
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 78: The Power of Books In Our Emotional JourneyIn this episode, Natalie talks about why books can be an important part of our emotional journey, explains some of the reasons why we don't seem to recognise that we're maxed out with stress, and talks about why we don't need to lay all of our emotional baggage out on the table for a new partner. This week's listener question is, Should I end my enforced No Contact now that I recognise my part?, and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-03-101h 09
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 77: Get Me Out of The Friend Zone!In this episode, Natalie talks about why we get put in the Friend Zone and how to dodge it, plus explains why some people don't do apologies, and why breaking up with someone also means breaking up with the ideals that we had for ourselves in the relationship. This week's listener question is 'How do I set boundaries with my patronising and overbearing co-worker?', plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. #relationshipgoals Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-02-241h 10
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 76: Stop Over-Apologising!In this episode, Natalie talks about why we can be fearful of allowing ourselves to be 'too happy', the over-apologising, and shares a couple of questions we can ask ourselves about whether love is transforming us into more or less of who we are. This week's listener question is, Should I contact him and try to tell him that he is worthy of love and avoidant?, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. The Breakthrough course mentioned: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-breakthrough Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-02-1754 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 75: The Common DenominatorIn this episode, Natalie talks about #relationshipgoals, what it means when we acknowledge that we're the common denominator, and why whether we want to be in a relationship or not, we must choose it from a positive place. This week's listener question is, 'How do I stop feeling guilty over my breakup that I didn't even instigate?', plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-02-101h 06
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 74: What Would Future Nat Do?In this episode, Natalie talks about the importance of considering how your future self would respond to a situation that you're in right now, plus talks about how to have better boundaries with loved ones who tend to ruin birthdays and other big occasions in your life, and explains why it's totally unnecessary for someone to point out that you're both 'grown-ups' when they're trying to get you to do something that you don't want to. This week's listener question is: Why did the universe send me another unavailable man after all of my hard work?, and Natalie shares...
2017-02-0346 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 73: We've Come A Long Way, BabyIn this episode, Natalie talks about the importance of acknowledging your progress by acknowledging personal anniversaries of big decisions, 3 key areas where you can make big strides in changing your responses to conflict, and why it's best to take a bigger picture view with Valentine's Day. This week's listener question is, Is it a red flag that my boyfriend doesn't ask me questions about myself?, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-01-2753 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 72: Go Hug YourselfIn this episode, Natalie talks through ten key reasons that more than justify breaking up, shares how she navigated her way out of negative feelings, and why it's important to hug yourself. This week's listener question is, Is anyone honest online? plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-01-201h 01
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 71: The Self-Care SandwichIn this episode, Natalie talks about what we can learn from our stuckness with our career, shares questions and ideas to help you get your self-care routine up and running, and talks about her intention to bring some minimalism into her life. This week's listener question is about how to overcome irrational jealousy and Natalie shares what she's learned this week about slowing down. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2017-01-131h 13
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 69: We All Bounce Back At Different RatesIn this episode, Natalie talks about what interdependence means, the factors that affect our bounce-back rate, and how family's attitude towards 'borrowing' money is a lesson about remembering to walk around the trap. This week's listener question is, Why haven't I moved on when I'm the one who walked away?, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-12-231h 02
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 67: It Was All A DreamThis week, Natalie talks about why romance isn't the same as intimacy, why we don't have to get stressed over our uncomfortable dreams, and shares tips for avoiding being catfished. This week's listener question is about how to come to terms with widowhood, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-12-1654 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 65: More Ideas Than Time (& That's OK)This week, Natalie talks about what to do about having more ideas than time, shares tips to ensure that you don't get drawn into the same drama with a family member, and explains why having too much expectation of our judgment with a stranger damages our confidence and ability to trust. This week's listener question is about how to figure out whether the girlfriend is lying about the soon-to-be ex-wife, and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-12-091h 02
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 64: Stop, Start, ContinueNatalie talks about the benefits of a social media diet, how to use a Stop, Start, Continue to inspire change when we're self-critical, and why we don't need to turn simple decisions into life decisions. This week's listener question is about whether to give up online dating, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-12-021h 01
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 62: Diff'rent StrokesNatalie talks about why we've got to stop making snap judgements about who's 'nice', how to respond to loved ones whose opinions differ from ours from a place of love, care trust and respect, and why it might not be a good idea to send the card/text to your ex. This week's listener question is, Why would an ex want to connect on LinkedIn rather than any other media? and Natalie shares what she learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-11-251h 02
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 60: Sleeping In My Bed Messing With My HeadNatalie talks about why we need to stop criticising ourselves for not being more self-disciplined in areas where we've had to give up something or make a big change, plus she talks about some of the causes of gifting stress and why the commitment-dodging ex is being intense with the new flame. This week's listener question is about feeling rejected because their partner doesn't want to cuddle all night and Natalie talks about what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-11-181h 06
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 58: It's Not Right, But It's OKIn this episode, Natalie talks about why so many people feel so triggered during these fraught times, shares tips for calming anxiety about family arrangements during the holiday season, and explains why we have to be careful of being over-committed to goals. This week's listener question is, How do I forgive myself for being the rebound and the booty call? and Natalie shares what she learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-11-1152 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 56: Read My MindIn this episode, Natalie talks about why expecting people to be mind readers is damaging to our self-esteem and our relationships, why people being shady or not meeting our expectations is not about our inadequacies but teaching us lessons on how some people are, and the importance of giving up small satisfaction today for greater satisfaction in future. This week's listener question is about whether they were wrong to be so honest about their past relationships with a partner who judged them for it, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. Have you heard about my...
2016-11-0458 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 55: Are You Ignoring Me?In this episode, Natalie talks about the things that we need to consider if we're going to sext with a stranger, plus she talks about the importance of distinguishing between the experiencing and remembering self, and what to do when someone ignores you and then makes out that it's you who's ignoring them. This week's listener question is about whether her boyfriend living with another woman and raising a family with her is normal and whether her discomfort is "stupid", and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Memb...
2016-10-2852 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 54: We Were On A Break!In this episode, Natalie talks about the things we need to consider when we opt to take a break from our relationship, what intimacy is and five key habits that are a block to it, and how we avoid answering a question by replacing it with something else. This week's listener question is about how do we deal with people who clearly feel superior, and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-10-141h 04
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 53: Stay In Your Own LaneIn this episode, Natalie talks about preferences versus programming, why driving is a metaphor for life and the importance of noticing what's going on around you so that you can broaden your perspective. This week's listener question is about when to recognise that reflection after a breakup has become rumination, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Courses | Events | Blog | Membership
2016-10-0752 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 52: Moving In Or Sussing Out Whether To Commit?In this episode, Natalie talks about being motivated to move in with a partner for financial or practical reasons or because you're trialling out whether you want to commit to that person. Plus, Nat talks about why it's not a good idea to seek admiration, approval and validation, and why we don't need to advertise our insecurities and old hurt. This week's listener question is about whether it's wrong to give up on falling in love again or whether loved ones are wrong for pressuring about being in a relationship in the future, and Natalie shares what...
2016-09-3057 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 50: She Works Hard For The Money!In this episode, Natalie shares tips for ensuring that you don't undervalue you when it comes to salary or charging the right rate/price with clients, knowing when to fold, and means 'mean' goals versus end goals. This week's listener dilemma is about how to deal with shady friendships and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Links from the show The Vicious Cycle of Undervaluing Yourself http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-vicious-cycle-of-undervaluing-yourself/ Knowing When To Fold http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-fold The Justifying Zone http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-justifying-zone Betting On...
2016-09-231h 05
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 48: Why Him/Her & Not Me?In this episode, Natalie talks about how to start building your self-esteem, why you shouldn't get too hung up on your ex moving on before you or with someone you think is 'better', and why there's no need to tell someone you don't like them. This week's listener question is about whether we have a right to feel heartbroken over a relationship that never happened, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. 100 Days of Baggage Reclaim book: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/100daysbook Articles on Baggage Reclaim related to 'Why them and not me?' When...
2016-09-161h 02
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 46: Let's Be FriendsIn this episode, Natalie talks about finding making new friends daunting and shares tips for being more open to it, plus she shares 10 questions for discerning whether your partner is emotionally available, and shares a couple of comments from listeners about what they learned from holidaying on their own, something she talked about in episode 42. This week's listener question is about how to broach the subject of taking things slowly with sex, and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. You can download the, Is Your Partner Emotionally Available? questions at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/46...
2016-09-0947 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 45: Why Did We Break Up? #3 - The AffairIn the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Katie is still reeling after ending a 21-month affair with a married man who doesn't seem to grasp why him not leaving his wife is a deal-breaker. Natalie helps Katie make the link between this affair, the breakdown of her marriage and earlier experiences in life so that she can use the pain of the fallout of this relationship as a vehicle for huge growth and healing. The blog post that Natalie refers to in the episode about being the favourite child (or wanting to be) influences...
2016-09-0638 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 44: Silly Me!In this episode, Natalie talks about the unnecessary apologising and backtracking habit, how getting your stuff in order can help you to clear out mentally and emotionally, and the importance of feeling all your feelings. This week's listener question is about what to do about somebody who hogs the conversation leaving you to be a 'good listener', plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. The picture of stuff that I bagged up from the corner of my dining room and the comments https://www.instagram.com/p/BJH-LQVB909/?taken-by=natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Co...
2016-09-0244 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 42: You're On The Same TeamIn this episode, Natalie talks about going on holiday/vacation on your own and shares stories and tips from her own adventure. Plus, she shares ten tips for conflict resolution when you're in a relationship, and explains why it's never the people who are actually bad at their job that have Imposter Syndrome. This week's listener question is about how to break the cycle of casual relationships when you're ready for something more serious, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. From the conflict resolution segment: What's the baggage behind it? www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/2
2016-08-261h 01
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 40: Going With No Flow?In this episode, Natalie talks about why a relationship needs to have purpose and direction if you want it to grow (or for you to feel happy), how to deal with narcissistic co-workers, family and partners, and the importance of redirecting the energy that you use to make you unworthy. This week's listener question is about what to do when you disapprove of your friend's choice in a partner and their impending hasty wedding plans and Natalie shared what she learned this week about dimming her light. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Onl...
2016-08-1254 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 39: Make It Fly?In this episode, Natalie talks about resistance to taking time off and fear of using holiday allowance, trying to make every relationship fly by being in love or seeing a future with every date and partner, and why we shouldn't get too carried away by 'graduation goggles'. This week's listener question is about distinguishing between ego and boundaries and Natalie shares what she learned this week about managing expectations. What's the baggage behind it? is at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/2 Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2016-08-0545 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 38: Don't Be So Hard On YourselfNatalie shares some of the themes of her 38th year, talks about why being self-critical creates a vicious cycle where you end up being around people that validate and increase negative feelings, and why setting a time to worry can break a worry habit. This week's listener question is about whether to confront a friend that seems to be pulling back and Natalie shares what she learned this week. The 8 types of inner critic www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/20 Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2016-07-2937 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 37: Are You Feeling This?This week, Natalie explains why being too passive can send the wrong message in a relationship, shares 5 questions to help you figure out your values, and talks about why passive-aggressive gifts really are not a gift at all. This week's listener question is about how to overcome feelings of jealousy and revenge and Natalie shares what she learned from facing down the big challenge of driving on the motorway. Curbing Your Obsession guide - http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/my-books/curbing-your-obsession-quick-guide-pdf-epub/ Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2016-07-2249 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 36: I Know When My Whatsapp Bling, That Can Only Mean One ThingThis week, Natalie explains why decluttering exes and dates from your phone makes good relationship and emotional business, talks about the problem with family secrets, and revisits "You complete me". This week's listener question is about plus-one etiquette and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. The Huff Post piece by Jennifer Aniston http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-the-record_us_57855586e4b03fc3ee4e626f My post on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/baggagereclaim/posts/10154221634428950 Episode 2 where I talked about "You complete me" http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/2 Email: podcast...
2016-07-1546 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 33: Personality vs CharacterIn episode 33, Natalie talks about the importance of distinguishing between personality and character, why some of us are over-responsible' and how we can start to address it, and why we don't need to keep trying to make somebody see something from our perspective or keep trying to make them explain or apologise. This week's listener question is about what to do when a one-night stand followed by some fun dates peters out but you've developed feelings, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membe...
2016-06-2443 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 31: We're Not Lazy!In episode 31 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, Natalie explains why procrastinating isn't about laziness, talks about the myriad of emotions you experience when an absent/estranged parent is ill, and why some so-called mutual agreements really aren't mutual. This week's listener question is about reclaiming your dignity after sex on an early date doesn't turn into a relationship and Natalie shares what she's learned this week about fear of change. The book Get Things Done by Robert Kelsey http://amzn.to/1ZF7Qwl that I mention in the first segment about procrastination. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com
2016-06-1037 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 29: Do I Accept You To Be My Partner?In episode 29, Natalie talks about finding the middle ground between expecting people to be 'perfect' and not having standards and boundaries in your relationship. She also shares on her recent experiences with hypnotherapy and how that influenced her taking a break, plus she talks about people who are judgmental and critical but it can be difficult to put your finger on because they're also so 'nice'. This week's listener question is, 'How do I stop being piggy in the middle with my parents and my sister?', and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. The New Year episode...
2016-05-2042 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 28: Are You Open Or Closed?In episode 28, Natalie talks about life plans, emotional availability, and why it's not fair when people shame us for not wanting to be friends or not being ready to move on just yet. This week's listener question is about boundaries and ultimatums and Natalie shares what she's learned this week about 'overreacting'. In the first part of the show, Natalie builds on episode 27 where she shared what she learned about her need for a life plan and explores why we might not have one and includes suggestions for increasing awareness of our priorities. Download Creating Your Personal Life...
2016-03-1850 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 27: You Get "Too Emotional", BabyIn episode 27 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, Natalie talks about No Contact and Low Contact at work, fear of failure and why she's glad she stopped looking for what she used to look for. This week's listener wants to know if the guys she's dating are "too emotional" and Natalie shares what she learned about drifting and the need for at least a little bit of life planning. In the first part of the show, Natalie gives a brief overview of No Contact and Low Contact and shares her own experience which was part of the inspiration for her...
2016-03-1151 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 26: Just Not That Into Me Or Unavailable?In this episode, Natalie questions whether we can really blame someone's inability to commit on whether they're just not that into us. Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl http://bit.ly/mrfbg In the second segment, where each week Natalie helps listeners to better understand their emotional baggage and grow in self-awareness, she explores our relationship with time, namely why some of us have a habit of being late and why some of us are so scared of it. Post on the blog about lateness: http://bit.ly/1fymR1H In the third segment, Natalie talks about the myth...
2016-03-0452 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 25: Ha-a-a-py Birthday…DOH!In this episode, Natalie explains the key reasons for the breakdown of a relationship and how bottom line, they're all the same reason—incompatibility. Understanding Why Some Relationships Don't Work Out http://bit.ly/18WdqFx In the second segment where each week Natalie helps listeners to better understand their emotional baggage and grow in self-awareness, she explains some of the reasons why we get being triggered by birthdays. I discuss how to uncover what the baggage is behind an issue in episode 2. In the third segment, Natalie talks about how we can all be a bit more tolerant when it...
2016-02-2644 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 24: The Debit and Credit Trust SystemIn this episode, Natalie offers up some suggestions for dating as a single parent, explores the difference between help and support, and explains The Debit and Credit Trust System. This week's listener wants to know how to cope with turning 30 when everyone else has gotten married etc, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. In the first segment I mentioned Episode 1, you can find it on iTunes or listen here: https://bit.ly/BRSessions1 I also talk about: No Contact Rule book: https://bit.ly/NoContactRule Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: https://bit.ly/MrUnavailable The Debit...
2016-02-1947 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 23: Better To Repeat Positive Affirmations Rather Than Negative UntruthsIn this episode, Natalie delves into the tricky subject of name-calling and swearing at someone in an argument and whether this is really 'OK', plus she shares three key admissions - admitting where you've made a mistake, admitting what you don't know, and admitting what you're pretending not to know - that keep us human and humble, and she explains some of the benefits of affirmations including sharing some of her personal experiences of them transforming how she was feeling. This week's listener wants to know how to deal with a partner that shuts down discussion and Natalie shares...
2016-02-1243 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 22: Stop Asking For Permission To Have BoundariesIn this episode, Natalie talks about why we get stressed out by Valentine's Day and includes suggestions for putting things back into context plus she talks about why trying to get someone else to change won't fix the problem, as well has how to keep a gossiping in check . This week's listener question is about letting go after realising that even though a few years have gone by, you're not over your divorce, plus Natalie shares what she learned about the need to take care of her inner child so that she isn't always 'serious'. Instagram | Break The...
2016-02-0547 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 21: Figuring Out Your DecisionsIn this episode, Natalie explains why you shouldn't write off the year if it hasn't started out as you envisioned, why some of us struggle with decision-making and what we need to make healthy decisions as well as why the early stages of dating is guesswork. This week's listener question is about how to recover from being told by two exes that they're not sexually attracted to her, plus Natalie shares what she's learned about her resistance to certain types of planning. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2016-01-2956 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 20: The 8 Types of Inner CriticIn this episode, Natalie questions whether a couple would really get divorced over leaving a glass out after reading a blog on the subject (http://bit.ly/MustBeThisTall), as well as explaining the 8 types of inner critic and their individual motivations and irrational fears, plus she offers up 6 magic words for that certain someone that wants to dump their responsibility on you. This week's listener question is about what to do when you want to confront an issue that needs confronting but the other person refuses and has 'ghosted' you, plus Natalie shares about what she learned about intuition...
2016-01-2246 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 19: Break The Faux RulesIn this episode, Natalie explains why someone else's partner isn't the person for you, why change and happiness isn't going to come from following rules that you've made based on guilt and fear, and why you can't keep talking about intentions or how someone can't help something, when they keep doing the same thing and they control themselves with others. This week's listener question is from someone who wants to know why she hasn't completely closed the door on a breakup from two years ago, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week when she got acknowledgment and an...
2016-01-1541 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 18: Walking a Fine Line With SarcasmIn this episode, Natalie explains why sarcasm backfires sometimes and why you need to be mindful of using it on dates, as well as talking about how to let go of 'woundedness', and why consistent actions of self-esteem will reap more rewards than sporadic efforts. This week's listener question is about how to strive for an equal relationship after a divorce from unhealthy marriage plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2016-01-0838 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 16: If I Could Turn Back Time, If I Could Find A WayIn this episode, Natalie explains why people who treat others as a means to an end have a booty call mentality, talks through regret and why it's connected to our inner critic, and explains Show Pony Parenting. This week's listener question is about what to do when it appears that a friendship has fizzled out after a bust-up, plus, Natalie shares how faffing about what to do over Christmas has been a reminder about how we only commit by getting the ball rolling as a result of making decisions and taking steps. Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Cou...
2015-12-1837 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 15: Fast Intimacy Now Or Build Deeper Intimacy Over Time?In this episode, Natalie explains how indecision over our boundary lines can cause us to accept the unacceptable, why we don't need to keep overspending to prove our worth, and explains the connection between a short-term mentality and commitment issues. This week's listener question is about what to do when you've been on a date or few and are not that interested, plus, Natalie shares why she's OK with taking her time to process stuff (even if others aren't). Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2015-12-1137 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp.14: Long-Distance For Love or, Long-Distance For Avoidance?In this episode, Natalie talks why some people find long-distance relationships attractive because it allows them to limit their vulnerability, why broaching a conversation with a parent where you paint a picture of what you went through in the past can be a springboard seeing and hearing each other more clearly and shares tips for dealing with a bullying coworker. This week's listener question is about what to do when you've decided not to trust all women (or all men) after getting burnt in a relationship plus, Natalie shares what she's learned from listening to her body. Download The...
2015-12-0450 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 13: Take a Parachute & JumpIn this episode, Natalie talks why it's a bad idea to be an emotional airbag, the factors that influence how long it will take for you to get over a breakup, how the core theme from challenges can become a personal mantra for success. This week's listener question is about what to do when you diverge on a core value in a good relationship plus, Natalie shares how her recent trip to San Francisco has reminded her of how thankful she is for the Baggage Reclaim community. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Onl...
2015-11-2732 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 12: Got To Be My T.Y.P.E If You Wanna Be With MeIn this episode, Natalie talks about the 12 weeks of self-esteem torment which runs from mid-November until just after Valentine's day, why having a type causes you to have a blind spot, and a key reason why some people struggle to reply to texts immediately. This week's listener question is about whether it's ever OK to fake it in bed plus, Natalie shares how standing up for herself and resigning from her position of class rep for one of her daughter's classes has been a reminder about knowing when to fold and staying true to your values. You can read...
2015-11-1336 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 11: Confronting Issues vs Confrontation?In this episode, Natalie talks about the difference between confronting issues and confrontation, why we sometimes need to get mad before we can feel grateful and recognise the lessons, and why it's OK to feel protective of your space and not quite ready to date, when you first start getting to know and like you. This week's listener question is about helping a listener understand if the difference between being vulnerable and having walls plus, Natalie shares what she's learned after being offered money by a family member and wondering if she was supposed to decline it. ...
2015-11-0738 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 10: F-F-F-F-Future Faked?In this episode, Natalie talks about when somebody fakes a future with you and whether they're doing it deliberately, why we close off our options when we encounter issues with a family member, and what to do when somebody keeps asking you for favours. This week's listener question is about understanding jealousy plus Natalie shares what she's learned from helping her daughters to not feel so stressed out by making mistakes. You can find out more about Future Faking at baggagereclaim.co.uk/tag/future-faking/ Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog...
2015-10-2338 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 9: How many dates does it take to be exclusive?In this episode, Natalie asks, Why do we want to be break up 'nicely'?, talks about why we don't listen to our inner voices and digs into the topic of figuring out the "right" time to be exclusive. This week's listener question is about what "being yourself" means and Natalie shares how this week she's learned that she's more of a creature of habit than she'd realised. You can find out more about my courses at baggagereclaim.co.uk/courses Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2015-10-1640 min
The Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 8: Guilty or Not Guilty?In this episode, Natalie talks about those inappropriate and insensitive comments and questions that singles contend with, whether we 'get over' abandonment and abuse that we experienced in childhood, and how we sometimes use claiming to feel guilty as a substitute for actually doing something about the situation. This week's listener question is about what to do when one when a close friend is complaining about another not-so-close friend and whether you should say something and Natalie shares what she's learned after over-scheduling herself one too many times. Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Instagram | Break The Cyc...
2015-10-0932 minThe Baggage Reclaim SessionsEp. 2: You complete me?In this episode, Natalie explains what's behind the baffling behaviour of somebody who tells you that they're not interested yet they keep seeking attention from you, plus she talks about why "You complete me" grates on her and the importance of self-acceptance, what to do if you bump into your ex when you're No Contact, as well as sharing what she's learned this week. **Note** In the "You complete me" segment, Natalie slipped on the second reference to the film and said Jerry Springer instead! Instagram | Break The Cycle Online Course | Blog | Membership
2015-08-2835 min