Shows
Moral Combat PodcastAutumn Fesler, Surviving the Independent Baptist Church and Reclaiming Life | Ep 82 | Moral CombatIn episode 82 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathaniel and Zachary Blaustone interview Autumn Fesler, who bravely shares her journey of healing from religious trauma after growing up in an Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) church. Autumn reflects on the psychological toll of constant fear, strict rules, and control within her religious upbringing, including traumatic experiences like being shamed for immodest clothing and the emotional trauma of her mother's public expulsion from the church. She explains the liberating process of reclaiming her identity and finding peace outside of religion, while also discussing the struggle with "fawning" behavior and setting boundaries...
2024-09-132h 01Moral Combat PodcastA Moment To Reddit, Silly Christians & Fake Love | Ep 81 | Moral CombatIn episode 81 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathaniel Blaustone Faust and Zachary Blaustone dive into a wide-ranging conversation that blends personal reflections with broader discussions on religious trauma, relationships, and healing. They explore how their podcast has been a therapeutic tool for working through issues rooted in their hyper-evangelical upbringing, even as they rebuild their relationship as brothers. A particularly moving segment includes Nathan sharing his son's fear of hell for not being Christian, underscoring the importance of unconditional love and open communication. The episode also touches on more challenging topics, such as the long-term impacts of sexual...
2024-08-301h 12Moral Combat PodcastUnder the Fig Tree, An Honest Conversation on Toxic Shame & Victimhood | Ep 80 | Moral CombatIn episode 80 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zachary Blaustone engage in an intimate, reflective conversation set in a tranquil outdoor environment under a fig tree, diverging from their usual interview format to focus on personal experiences. They explore the deep-seated impacts of their radical Christian upbringing, discussing repressed memories, chronic pain, and feelings of victimhood tied to their religious past. Zachary delves into the resurfacing of trauma and the struggles it has triggered, while Nathan opens up about the resurfacing of sexual trauma and the toxic shame that the church instilled in him. Together, they navigate...
2024-08-161h 21Moral Combat PodcastChristian Outrage, Trump, Kamala & Paris Olympics Drama | Ep 79 | Moral CombatIn episode 79 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zach dive into a wide-ranging discussion that starts with a reintroduction of themselves and their backgrounds as sons of evangelical Christian pastors. They express excitement about returning to solo episodes, reflecting on their past interviews with various religious guests and sharing their distinct approaches to social media. The main topic centers on "Christian outrage," sparked by a viral Instagram reel featuring Nathan's provocative statement, "I am God, you are God, we are God," which garnered over 2,600 comments. The hosts humorously read and react to the outraged responses, including accusations...
2024-08-021h 14Moral Combat PodcastLyn Smith Gregory: Joseph Smith's Great Niece Escaping Mormonism | Ep 78 | Moral CombatIn Episode 78 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathaniel and Zachary welcome Lyn Smith Gregory, who brings a unique perspective on religious trauma from her experiences with Mormonism. Lyn, a descendant of Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormon church, shares insights from her memoir, detailing the hierarchical structure and beliefs of Mormonism, including tithing, polygamy, and financial success. She recounts her journey of questioning her faith during college, leading to atheism at age 19, and the subsequent impact on her family relationships. Lyn discusses the ingrained guilt and shame she struggled with, eventually seeking therapy at age 28. She delves into...
2024-07-191h 52Moral Combat PodcastShea Quinn, Leaving the Baptist Church & Transformation | Ep 77 | Moral CombatIn episode 77 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Zachary and Nathaniel welcome Shea Quinn, who traveled from Medford, Oregon, to share her transformative journey. Shea, host of the podcast "Grow with Shea" and co-host of "The Waiting Table," opens up about her weight loss surgery in 2022, which sparked profound self-discovery and a reevaluation of her Baptist upbringing. She recounts how reconnecting with her body and emotions led her to question her faith and confront the discomfort she felt regarding the treatment of LGBTQ+ individuals within her religious community. Shea reflects on her marriage to Dylan, their shared deconstruction process...
2024-07-052h 30Moral Combat PodcastJordan Dolby, Punk Rock Religion, Childhood Memories, & The Devil | Ep 76 | Moral CombatIn episode 76 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts delve into a rich tapestry of personal experiences and reflections with their special guest, Jordan Dolby, a longtime family friend and tattoo artist. They fondly reminisce about childhood memories, from playing video games and watching movies like The Princess Bride at church gatherings to participating in dramatic religious plays and mission trips. Jordan shares his unique perspective on growing up with what he describes as a "punk rock religion," highlighting both the positive and challenging aspects of his upbringing. The conversation touches on substance use, with Jordan's limited experiences with marijuana...
2024-06-213h 13Moral Combat PodcastStacie Benedict, Deconstructing Christianity, Family, & Social Awakening | Ep 75 | Moral CombatIn episode 75 of the Moral Combat Podcast, Stacey shares her journey from a sporadically religious upbringing to a deep involvement in evangelical Christianity, and eventually to deconstructing her faith. Stacey's early experiences included accepting Jesus at age six without fully understanding it and feeling pressured by her mother to make "good choices." In middle school, she found a sense of belonging in a small Church of God congregation but also felt the burden of being the "good Christian girl." College life intensified these pressures with purity culture teachings and conservative doctrines. Despite international mission trips and a long-distance relationship...
2024-06-071h 42Moral Combat PodcastSorcha Porter-Homes, Breaking Silence on Sexual Abuse at Calvary Chapel | Ep 74 | Moral CombatIn episode 74 of the Moral Combat Podcast, Sorcha Porter-Homes courageously recounts her harrowing journey of enduring sexual abuse within the Calvary Chapel youth group, where leaders not only failed to protect her but blamed her for dressing immodestly. She shares vivid memories from a youth mission trip to San Francisco’s Tenderloin district and the damaging purity culture that treated girls as mere “gifts” for their future husbands, shaming their bodies and clothing choices. Despite the abuse happening just feet away from oblivious adult leaders, Sorcha received no support until college when she revealed her trauma to her parents, who we...
2024-05-241h 38Moral Combat PodcastThe Congo, Leonard Peltier & Plant Medicine Retreats | Ep 73 | Moral CombatIn episode 73 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zachary dive into an intimate solo discussion, reflecting on a range of poignant topics, from global issues to personal journeys. They kick off by sharing their recent updates on upgrading the podcast's equipment, enhancing the quality of their engagement. Nathan elucidates the historical and ongoing crises in the Democratic Republic of Congo, tracing its roots from Belgian colonization to the exploitation of mineral resources. Meanwhile, Zachary brings light to the plight of Leonard Peltier, a symbol of injustice against Native American activists. Their conversation takes a personal turn as...
2024-05-101h 39Moral Combat PodcastIvan Rodriguez, A Symphony of Survival & Success Beyond Religious Trauma | Ep 72 | Moral CombatIn this captivating episode of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zachary, alongside guest Ivan Rodriguez, delve into the complex journey of healing from religious trauma after disentangling from evangelical Christian church involvement. Ivan shares his poignant experiences of growing up in an authoritarian Pentecostal church in Puerto Rico, where church leadership was rife with conflicts and scandals. From a young age, he felt compelled to lead a double life, concealing his true beliefs due to the oppressive environment at home and church. Despite the joy music and playing the violin initially brought him, it became just another...
2024-04-262h 45Moral Combat PodcastHeidi Monuteaux on Deconstruction, Betrayal Recovery, & Therapeutic Healing | Ep 71 | Moral CombatIn episode 71 of the "Moral Combat Podcast," hosts Nathaniel and Zachary welcome Heidi Monuteaux, a therapist based in Boise, Idaho, with a practice known as "10 Mile Counseling," to discuss the intricate journey of healing from religious trauma. Heidi shares her personal narrative of growing up in a Christian home, identifying as the "black sheep" for departing from the Grace Brethren denomination amidst her family's deep religious roots. Her process of deconstruction began in earnest around 2010, catalyzed by her return to academia for a master's degree and further compounded by marital strife, including infidelity and gaslighting by her then-husband, a...
2024-04-121h 36Moral Combat PodcastForest Benedict Returns, The Power of Internal Family Systems | Ep 70 | Moral CombatIn episode 70 of the Moral Combat Podcast, Forest Benedict, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) with a specialization in religious trauma and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, shares an enlightening discussion on his transition from a Christian sex addiction therapist to embracing a broader understanding of healing through IFS. Forest opens up about his personal healing journey, which was significantly impacted by psychedelics, leading him to discover IFS therapy—a method that emphasizes understanding and healing the various 'parts' of ourselves that have developed in response to trauma. By accessing one's authentic core self, characterized by compassion, courage, and cl...
2024-03-291h 49Moral Combat PodcastNick Vallentino, Ex-Calvary Chapel Pastor's Path to Clarity & Healing | Ep 69 | Moral CombatIn episode 69 of the Moral Combat Podcast, Nick Vallentino recounts his tumultuous journey from being a pastor's kid entrenched in the Calvary Chapel community, through the escalation of his personal and professional life crises, to his path toward healing from severe religious trauma. Raised in a devout family, Nick's life took a pivotal turn following a car accident that led to his expulsion from Bible College, propelling him into ministry work in Puerto Rico and later, to leading a burgeoning church in Phoenix. However, beneath the surface of these achievements, Nick battled with anxiety, panic attacks, and a failing...
2024-03-152h 11Moral Combat PodcastJulia Myers, Deconstructing Christianity & Escaping Calvary Chapel | Ep 68 | Moral CombatIn episode 68 of the Moral Combat Podcast, Julia shares a deeply personal narrative of growing up under the stringent doctrines of a conservative Calvary Chapel, leading to a profound journey of faith deconstruction and healing from religious trauma. Her story, marked by questioning rigid church teachings, navigating the complexities of relationships within a faith-based context, and experiencing significant personal losses, highlights the challenging path towards spiritual and emotional liberation. Julia's transformative journey is further enriched by her research on religious trauma's impact on sexuality and her pursuit of psychology to aid others in similar struggles. Despite facing gender inequality...
2024-03-012h 21Moral Combat PodcastGenocide Joe, Head Injuries & Vietnam Veterans | Ep 67 | Moral CombatIn episode 67 of the Moral Combat Podcast, Nathaniel and Zachary delve into the complexities of healing from religious trauma after leaving their evangelical Christian upbringing. The brothers discuss the challenging process of questioning ingrained beliefs and values, the importance of finding joy in the present, and the everyday challenges of work, health, and maintaining friendships. Their conversations cover a wide range of topics, including the therapeutic benefits of podcasting, the role of trauma bonding in personal connections, and the discrepancies between religious teachings and historical evidence about Christianity. They critically examine the influence of the black church on social...
2024-02-161h 21Moral Combat PodcastForest Benedict's Deconstruction of Evangelical Christianity | Ep 66 | Moral CombatIn Episode 66 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Zach and Nathan reconnect with Forest Benedict, whom they knew from their childhood days at Petaluma Calvary Chapel, and who was also a member of the Christian band Gone Fishing. Forest opens up about his intense engagement with Christianity from a young age, driven by a desire to connect with his father and a belief in his divine purpose. However, this commitment was shadowed by deep internal struggles, particularly with sexual shame exacerbated by purity culture, leading him to years of self-punishment and discomfort around women. Despite his success as a...
2024-02-021h 45Moral Combat PodcastKim Shambaugh's Story: Breaking Free From The Southern Baptist Church | Ep 65 | Moral CombatIn Episode 65 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Zach and Nathan Blaustone delve into a deep conversation with guest Kim Shambaugh, exploring the impact of religious upbringing on personal growth and healing. Raised in an evangelical Baptist family, Kim's early life was dominated by purity culture and strict religious norms. Her journey, marked by a challenging marriage and struggles with perfectionism and eating disorders, led to a transformative divorce at 26 and subsequent ostracization from her church. Finding love and acceptance with her non-religious husband, Kim moved to Ohio, where she began deconstructing her faith and embracing practices like meditation...
2024-01-191h 54Moral Combat PodcastNew Years 24, AMTR, Raves & Block Fort 7.0 | Ep 64 | Moral CombatIn episode 64 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zach, siblings and children of a pastor, delve into their journey of healing from religious trauma stemming from their evangelical Christian upbringing. The episode kicks off with reflections on a recent interview with Jonathan Gaza and a reminder for listeners to engage through their podcast phone number. A significant portion of the discussion centers around the holidays, highlighting their ongoing healing process and mentioning specific trauma triggers like their parents' church events and politically charged family texts. They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries to manage these triggers. The...
2024-01-051h 09Moral Combat PodcastJonathan Garza Embracing Identity Beyond Religion | Ep 63 | Moral CombatIn this revealing episode of the Moral Combat Podcast, Jonathan Garza shares his deeply personal journey of growing up in the Seventh Day Adventist (SDA) church, a life thoroughly intertwined with its doctrines and community. From a young age, Jonathan found himself questioning the church’s claim to hold the complete biblical truth, a skepticism that grew as he matured. His story takes a poignant turn with his parents' divorce, an event that, as a church leader's child, brought him embarrassment and a sense of needing to hide the truth. College years brought a significant personal revelation as Jonathan fi...
2023-12-221h 47Moral Combat PodcastRemaining Spiritual After Leaving The Church | Ep 62 | Moral CombatIn Episode 62 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Zach and Nathan open up about their journey from a strict evangelical Christian upbringing to finding their own spiritual paths. They share their experiences with leaving the church, the resultant feelings of loss and emptiness, and how they have since embraced alternative spiritual practices. Their candid discussions touch on the healing power of meditation, gratitude, and plant medicines like cannabis and psychedelics, and how these have helped them redefine their spiritual lives. The episode highlights the importance of community and support in their journeys, and also features a playful Nintendo gaming...
2023-12-151h 17Moral Combat PodcastDocumentary Filmmaker Andy Trimlett on Israel-Palestine | Ep 61 | Moral CombatIn episode 61 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathaniel and Zachary Blaustone engage in a thought-provoking discussion with Emmy award-winning documentary filmmaker Andy Tremlett, exploring the intricacies of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The episode delves into the historical roots of the conflict, with Tremlett tracing its origins to the late 19th century's rise in anti-Semitism and the subsequent Zionist movement. He highlights the early coexistence and later escalating tensions between Jewish settlers and the Arab population, underpinned by Zionist aspirations to displace Arabs. Key historical milestones, including the establishment of Israel in 1948 and the resultant Palestinian displacement, are examined, alongside...
2023-12-011h 28Moral Combat PodcastThe Tragic Death of Mayor Bubba Copeland | Ep 60 | Moral CombatIn episode 60 of The Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathaniel and Zach delve into the complex and tragic tale of Mayor Phil "Bubba" Copeland of Smiths Station, Alabama. They begin by paying tribute to Copeland, a multifaceted community leader, pastor, and business owner. The focus shifts to the devastating impact of an exposé by 1819 News, which publicized Copeland's secret online persona, "Brittany Blair," and his activities in cross-dressing and erotic writing. Despite his pleas for privacy, the news outlet's explicit revelations led to Copeland's suicide, a profound loss that the hosts reflect on with deep empathy. Nathaniel and Zach criticize t...
2023-11-171h 12Moral Combat PodcastRage Room Healing & A Moment To Reddit | Ep 59 | Moral CombatIn Episode 59 of The Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathaniel and Zachary embark on a new segment titled "Does It Heal?" The episode commences with a tantalizing preview of their inaugural video, an intriguing visit to a "rage room" where they explore the cathartic release of anger through smashing objects. Following this visceral experience, the duo delves into a Reddit-inspired discourse, offering reactions to posts encompassing the intricate intersection of religion and politics. These discussions encompass a spectrum, from humorous memes jesting about Jesus' persuasive tactics to poignant critiques of Christian nationalism's influence in government and the Republican party's alignment...
2023-11-041h 07Moral Combat PodcastThe Unspoken Trauma of Church Induced Sexual Repression | Ep 58 | Moral CombatIn the thought-provoking Episode 58 of The Moral Combat Podcast, brothers Nathan and Zachary engage in a profound dialogue delving into the intricate topic of sexual repression, a haunting echo of their religious upbringing. Drawing from personal experiences, they unveil moments of intense shame and guilt surrounding their sexuality, shedding light on the profound impact of these experiences. The hosts navigate through biblical verses and teachings that explicitly endorse sexual repression, and explore how this repression reverberated through their romantic relationships and self-identities. This candid conversation serves as a healing process, providing clarity and a platform for self-acceptance in the...
2023-10-271h 30Moral Combat PodcastConfronting the Traumas of Church and Parental Expectations | Ep 57 | Moral CombatIn the emotionally charged Episode 57 of The Moral Combat Podcast, brothers Nathan and Zachary delve into the intricate and deeply personal topic of guilt, an enduring legacy of their religious trauma rooted in their evangelical Christian upbringing. This poignant discussion unravels the ways in which the church ingeniously employed guilt as a tool to wield control over their behaviors and thoughts. The narrative unfolds as they recount their struggles with a pervasive sense of inherent sinfulness and unworthiness, perpetuated by the church's unwavering emphasis on morality and repentance, a toxic blend that bred guilt like wildfire. Doubt and questioning...
2023-10-201h 06Moral Combat PodcastUnpacking The Trauma Of Christian Rituals | Ep 56 | Moral CombatIn the thought-provoking 56th episode of The Moral Combat Podcast, brothers Nathan and Zach embark on a profound exploration of the trauma inflicted by religious rituals within the evangelical Christian framework. Drawing upon their shared upbringing in a devout Christian household, the hosts engage in a candid conversation that spans a wide spectrum of rituals inherent to their religious past. They traverse the emotional terrain of their experiences, from the uplifting and spiritual nature of rituals such as worship through music and prayer, to the unsettling and, at times, manipulative aspects found in rituals like communion and altar calls...
2023-10-131h 17Moral Combat PodcastPublic Pool Exorcisms & Corrupt Christian Vets | Ep 55 | Moral CombatIn Episode 55 of The Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zach embark on a thought-provoking journey as they dive into Reddit posts centered around the theme of religious trauma. The episode unfolds with the hosts' empathetic exploration of these digital narratives, beginning with a poignant tale of someone whose neurological disorder was attributed to their departure from an abusive religious family, shedding light on the tendency of some Christians to attribute illnesses to a perceived lack of faith. The conversation shifts to a post inquiring about whether to reveal one's loss of belief to their family, with Nathan and...
2023-10-061h 08Moral Combat PodcastGod Is a Jealous Human & Time-Out for Tiktok | Ep 54 | Moral CombatIn Episode 54 of The Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zach embark on a diverse and engaging conversation. They begin by sharing anecdotes from their recent experiences, with Nathan recounting his visit to a non-alcoholic bar during a bachelorette party, which proved to be an enjoyable departure from the norm. The episode introduces a compelling new segment titled "Time Out for TikTok," where the hosts react to TikTok videos related to religious trauma. They delve into an assortment of videos featuring street preachers, impassioned pastors, and individuals passionately sharing their beliefs in unlikely settings like restaurants. Transitioning to their gaming...
2023-09-291h 05Moral Combat PodcastAnalyzing Cancel Culture, Complicated Stars, and Our Own Ethical Dilemmas | Ep 53 | Moral CombatIn Episode 53 of The Moral Combat Podcast, brothers Nathan and Zach, both raised in the Christian evangelical faith, embark on a discussion centered on religious trauma and the healing process through candid conversations. The episode delves into recent pop culture news, notably sexual assault allegations against celebrities like Danny Masterson and Russell Brand. The hosts exhibit empathy for the victims while critiquing influential individuals who have exploited their power and wealth to evade accountability. Beyond this, they dissect unsettling narratives such as the grooming of young actress Mila Kunis on That 70s Show, questionable charity practices by Oprah, and...
2023-09-2249 minMoral Combat PodcastA Moment To Reddit, Science Vs Religion & Skyscraper 4.0 | Ep 52 | Moral CombatIn Episode 52 of The Moral Combat Podcast, Nathan and Zach, both formerly entrenched in the Christian evangelical faith, introduce themselves and the podcast's core focus on religious trauma and atheism-related subjects. The episode features a Reddit segment where they read and react to various posts concerning religious trauma and Christianity, touching on topics such as conflicts between religion and science, the complexities of relationships involving religious trauma, and the unexpected conversions of intelligent individuals to evangelical Christianity later in life. Following the Reddit discussions, the hosts transition to a gaming segment, playing Mario Kart 64, and reminiscing about their childhood...
2023-09-151h 02Moral Combat PodcastPassion Projects & The Zone Of Action | Ep 51 | Moral CombatIn Episode 51 of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zach delve into a range of topics, beginning with a focus on religious trauma and family complexities. They revisit their prior discussion on the necessity of setting boundaries while maintaining relationships with religious family members. Zach also shares a personal update in a segment called "Updates with Zorn," detailing his ongoing journey with disability stemming from a back injury, highlighting the challenges of securing approval and managing financial stress. As the episode unfolds, the duo express their devotion to passion projects—Nathan even performs a monologue from "Death of a...
2023-09-081h 05Moral Combat PodcastBridging The Gap: How We Maintain Relationships With Religious Family Members | Ep 50 | Moral CombatIn the milestone 50th episode of The Moral Combat podcast, hosts Nathan and Zach embark on a reflective journey, welcoming listeners with gratitude for the podcast's one-year anniversary. Amidst their overarching mission of discussing religious trauma and broader healing narratives, the heart of the episode centers around maintaining relationships with evangelical family members post-departure from faith. With emotional depth, Nathan and Zach share personal experiences, navigating the challenges of feeling "othered" due to differing religious beliefs, establishing necessary boundaries, and seeking authentic understanding. Nathan's candid approach in allowing his son autonomy over his beliefs, despite his own religious trauma...
2023-09-011h 18Moral Combat PodcastCheers to One Year, Healing, Camping & White Water Rapids | Ep 49 | Moral CombatIn the celebratory 1-year anniversary episode of the Moral Combat Podcast, hosts Nathan and Zach mark the occasion by donning top hats. Amidst the festivities, Zach provides candid updates on his ongoing back injury, sharing his decision to embark on disability leave from his bartending job due to the unrelenting pain. Nathan recounts a recent whitewater rafting adventure with his fiancée, where despite an initial tumble, he eventually found his rhythm. In a collaborative gaming segment, Nathan secures victory. The hosts discuss their plans to introduce more guest interviews related to religious trauma, while continuing to intertwine their p...
2023-08-2550 min