Shows
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#179 - Your Newest Friendship Questions, Answered (with My Mom)For the first episode of 2026, I have my mom, Kathy Sackheim, in the studio for her 6th appearance on the podcast to help me answer a stack of listener questions straight from the Dear Nina inbox.We move quickly through a range of friendship dilemmas from listeners: milestone birthday expectationsuneven effortfriend group tensionan uncomfortable confrontationa group chat blowupreaching out after a long gap since the last hangoutand what to do when a friend’s choices leave you conflicted and/or burdened (We slightly disagreed about that last one!)...
2026-01-0427 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#178 - Top 5 Cities, Top 5 Episodes, and Friendship Takeaways from 2025 (with Rebekah Jacobs)It’s the annual end-of-year wrap-up, and my assistant producer Rebekah Jacobs is back for a behind-the-scenes look at what landed with listeners in 2025 and why.The themes we keep coming back to on Dear Nina aren’t “college friends” or “mom friends” or “work friends.” It’s all of the above and more. The need to be chosen, to belong, to be wanted, and the sting when we don’t feel it—this is ageless and timeless.HIGHLIGHTS:We reveal the top 5 cities and top 5 counties where you’re listening to Dear Nina...
2025-12-2835 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipBonus Episode: Take Back Your Social Life (Nina on “SuperPsyched” with Dr. Adam Dorsay)This week’s episode is a bonus! I’m sharing a conversation from when I was a guest on Dr. Adam Dorsay’s podcast, SuperPsyched. I don’t usually repost my own guest interviews, but I’m starting to sprinkle them in the feed because when I’m not the host, different things come out. Different angles. Different stories. Perhaps an even more direct way to discuss making and keeping friends. This interview was one of my favorites!Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon Valley, and he’s also the author of the book, S...
2025-12-1444 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#175 - Write a Letter to One Friend: December (the final!) Friendship ChallengeThe final friendship challenge of the year is to write one friend a real letter. This was inspired by the novel I'm currently reading and loving--The Correspondent by Virginia Evans.Yes, it can be typed and even sent via email. But this NOT a text saying, “I hope you’re well" or "I miss you."Write an honest, thoughtful note saying:Here’s why you matter to me. . . OrI keep thinking about the time you . . . My year was better because you . . . I’m grateful for the way you. . . This memory still sticks with me because...
2025-12-0114 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#171 - Brighten a Friend’s Day with One Simple Gesture: November Friendship ChallengeThis month’s friendship challenge is all about generosity, but not the kind that empties your wallet or the type that requires a special occasion like a birthday or holiday gift. Think thoughtfulness and the joy of letting friends know you're thinking of them for no reason whatsoever. It's generosity of time and spirit merely to show friends they matter to you.A small gesture can leave a big impact. In this short episode, I share a few stories of simple, meaningful gestures from friends that have stayed with me for years. Some of those gestures were in...
2025-11-0215 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#170 - The Friend Who Really Sees You (with Hannah Rosenberg)"This made me think of you." Is there anything more delightful to hear from a friend? These are the words often written between friends when someone shares one of Hannah Rosenberg's (always viral!) poems from Instagram. And the incredible Hannah Rosenberg is my guest on Dear Nina. I was so excited to meet the woman behind the words I've been sharing in my own Instagram stories for years. Hannah is the author of the poetry collection, Same, from St. Martin's Press, and her work about friendship, motherhood, and everyday life has made thousands of people online say o...
2025-10-2833 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#168 - From Surface to Substance: A Journalist’s Guide to Deeper Friendships (with Jonah Kaplan)Ever feel like your friendships are trapped in the very general "how are you?" catch-up loop? Award-winning journalist Jonah Kaplan joins me to talk about moving from small talk to something more substantive that feeds connection. Jonah has spent two decades covering difficult stories for CBS and WCCO, and he’s learned that the best conversations—on camera or off—come from curiosity, empathy, and follow-up questions that go beyond the obvious.In a world of quick texts, busy schedules, and constant scrolling, it’s easy to keep friendships at the surface level. But the friendships that truly su...
2025-10-1033 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#167 - Ask Your Friends (A LOT) More Questions: The October Friendship ChallengeYou're probably not asking your friends enough questions. This month’s Friendship Challenge is simple but powerful: ask your friends more questions. (Way more than you think you should.) Trust me, people notice when you're not asking questions.One of my most viral TikToks from last fall was when I talked about "the friend who never asks about you." It has over 90K views and over 400 comments. People had NEGATIVE feelings and lots to say about friends who don't ask questions. To help us all do better with asking questions, I disc...
2025-10-0613 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#165 - The Child-Free Friend: Honest Talk About Friendship and Different Life Paths (with Dani Alpert)Different choices, same friendships—if you’re willing to speak up.This week on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I talk with bestselling author Dani Alpert, who has always known she didn’t want children. While her five best friends all married and had kids, Dani carved out a different life. The result? Decades of navigating friendships where communication was extra necessary to keep resentment and misunderstanding at bay. Dani says it took a lot work, but she did not want to lose these important relationships and every hard discussion with close friends was worth the effort.D...
2025-09-2228 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#162 - Listen to Your "Bestie Brain," Not Your "Bully Brain" (September Challenge with Leslie Randolph)This month’s Dear Nina Friendship Challenge taps into the fresh-start energy of September to help you quiet the inner bully telling you you're awkward or not desired and dial up your inner bestie. I'm joined by Leslie Randolph, certified coach and TEDx speaker, who helps adults, tweens, and teens cultivate self-confidence that sticks. Leslie and I break down self-confidence as a skill (not a genetic lottery prize). We encourage listeners to take courageous action even with fear present. And we discuss practical ways to reframe the stories you tell yourself so you can make and keep adult friendships at...
2025-09-0233 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship# 160 - From the Cafeteria to the Mahj Table: Friend Group Challenges from Teens to Midlife and Beyond (LIVE!)My dream for "Dear Nina" has always been to make people feel less alone in the messy parts of friendship. Episode #160 was our first-ever LIVE show with 120 people in the room—and wow, you could feel the energy, see the heads nodding, and appreciate the camaraderie of an audience who has experienced the highs and lows of friend groups.Friend groups are complicated. They can be the source of safety, belonging, and joy. But they can also be a source of exclusion, hurt, and longing. With my assistant producer and friend, Rebekah Jacobs, we dug into the me...
2025-08-1858 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#156 - Four Years In: The 4 Biggest Lessons I’ve Learned About Friendship (and 4 About Podcasting Too)It’s the four-year anniversary of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship! Whether you’ve been with me from the column that began in 2014, started with the first episode in 2021, stumbled in at episode 86, or you're new around here at #156—thank you. Thank you for caring about friendship on a deep level and for helping this podcast grow into something that’s helped me (and hopefully you) navigate the joys and messes of adult friendship.In this solo episode, I’m marking four years of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship with the four major lessons I’ve learned about friend...
2025-07-2118 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#154 - Discretion vs. Gossip: How to Handle a Friend Who Overshares Your News (Letter Spotlight with Rebekah Jacobs)Ever feel that low-level hum of annoyance when a friend casually drops your (good or bad) personal news into the conversation? I have my fantastic "Dear Nina" assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, with me this week to crack open a listener's anonymous letter about DISCRETION.Discretion is that gray zone between gossip and harmless chatter. Rebekah and I discuss how much we can expect friends to know intuitively what stays private and what's OK to share.We're not talking about friends who gossip incessantly about you or reveal a big secret. That's easier to answer! Keep...
2025-07-0728 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#153 - Three Focused Questions for a Mid-Year ReflectionReady to see where your friendships stand halfway through 2025? In this solo episode, I (very quickly!) round up the first six monthly challenges. Then I hand you three laser-focused questions to help you reflect, assess, tweak, and strengthen your connections for the rest of the year. Answer the 3 Questions This Week!Block 15 minutes.Jot down honest answers. And bullet points count!LINKS & RESOURCESJoin the Dear Nina Facebook Community to discuss wins and struggles from all the monthly challenges.Previous Monthly Challenges in the newsletter (Jan–June 2025)Episode #127, January: See a frien...
2025-07-0115 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#152 - When Your Child’s Friendship Issues Reopens Unresolved Wounds: Beth SegaloffFacing Unfinished Friendship Business When Your Child Hits Social SnagsYour child’s social life can stir up every unresolved playground scar you’re still carrying. Licensed clinical social worker and EMDR therapist Beth Segaloff joins "Dear Nina" to talk about separating our past (and present) friendship baggage from our kids’ current experiences. We discuss how kids' realities are so different today and why that small pause before jumping in to “fix” everything is parenting gold.HIGHLIGHTS:Why your kid’s friendship bumps feel personal--how to tell what feelings belong to you versus you...
2025-06-2429 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#150 - Join or Die: Pickleball, Potlucks, Democracy, and Your Health: Rebecca and Pete DavisIn this milestone 150th episode of Dear Nina, we’re diving deep into friendship and community with siblings and co-directors Rebecca Davis and Pete Davis, the team behind the Netflix documentary Join or Die: A film about why you should join a club and why the fate of America depends on it.Inspired by the groundbreaking work of political scientist Robert Putnam (Bowling Alone), Join or Die explores the powerful link between social connection, the health of our democracy, and our mental and physical health on an individual level.If you’ve been feeling stuck, isol...
2025-06-1033 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#149 - Ask a Friend For a Favor: June Friendship ChallengeWelcome to the Dear Nina Friendship Challenge for June: Ask a friend for a favor.Why? Asking a friend for a favor demonstrates trust and intimacy. It helps your friend feel closer to you merely because you asked, and this will strengthen the friendship. Unfortunately, people really struggle asking for help, even for the smallest of favors. This month I want you to practice this important skill!I also ask you to consider if you struggle asking friends for help because you're afraid people will then ask you for help. That's how friendship works! We...
2025-06-0111 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#147 - Share Good News With Friends and How to Receive Friends' Good NewsIn this short solo episode, I consider why some people hesitate to tell friends about positive events like a promotion, a published piece, or a personal milestone or achievement. Likely due to cultural conditioning, we worry it will come off as bragging. I think it's a missed opportunity to feel closer to friends when all good news is kept under wraps.Not sharing can also have a cost. When friends learn about our news secondhand, it can create distance and misunderstandings.Vulnerability is a key to closeness, and sharing GOOD news is an excellent way...
2025-05-2007 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#146 - Tolerate Uncertainty & Stop the Overthinking Spiral in Your Friendships with Dr. Jackie HenryIf you’ve ever reread a text 10 times, filled in every silence with worst-case scenarios, or found yourself leaving too many hangouts with friends regretting what you said, this conversation is for you. Psychologist Dr. Jackie Henry and I discuss tools to stop overthinking your every friendship move and learn to tolerate uncertainty in your relationships. We rarely know what someone else is thinking, and we need to stop assuming we do. Wouldn't it be refreshing to just be in your friendships and not feel like you're "performing" to always say and do the exact "right" thing? Dr. Jackie off...
2025-05-1328 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#144 - The Secret Power of Changing the Venue in Your Friendship: May ChallengeWhether you’re hoping to upgrade a casual acquaintance, breathe life into a longstanding friendship, or accommodate a friend whose season of life recently shifted, a venue swap can work magic without big declarations or heavy planning.Welcome to the Dear Nina Friendship Challenge for May: Pick a newer friend or an old friend you'd like to feel closer to and initiate a change in where (or how) you hang out.Do you normally text, but never talk on the phone? Try a call! Do you walk once in awhile, but never go out for lu...
2025-05-0112 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#143 - The Law of Rejection in Friendships with Harlan CohenIn this powerful episode of Dear Nina, I am joined by bestselling author Harlan Cohen to explore the truth about rejection, risk, and the myths we carry into adulthood about what friendship “should” look like. We dive into the Law of Rejection—a concept that can radically shift how you approach your relationships. Whether you're 18 or 88, accepting that we cannot control how others respond to our desire for friendship will serve you well. Friendship requires some risks, and knowing that rejection comes with the territory will allow you to take those risks.Whether you're always...
2025-04-2141 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#141 - The White Lotus Friendship Trio: Lessons for Your Real-Life Friendships: Rebekah JacobsIt's a very special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship dedicated to the much-discussed and debated friendship triangle in White Lotus Season 3 created by Mike White.The friendship trio of Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie has captivated TV viewers for the last two months. Similarly, Rebekah Jacobs (Dear Nina's assistant producer) and I have been texting and talking between episodes. Now that the season finale has aired, we shared all the lessons we think Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie imparted on the world. Even their mistakes gave us plenty of friendship advice to ponder.
2025-04-0840 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#140 - Celebrating Friends' Birthdays and Your Own Birthday: April ChallengeThe Dear Nina Friendship Challenge for April is about the sometimes tricky topic of friends' birthdays. The challenge itself is simple and the easiest so far in 2025. I'm encouraging listeners to actively seek out friends' birthdays so you don't have to rely on social media to know the date. Of course the next step is to acknowledge friends on their birthdays, again not only relying solely social media. The rest of the episode explores the emotional complexities surrounding birthdays, comparing how other friends' birthdays get celebrated, and why I believe in planning your own parties. Wh...
2025-04-0414 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#139 - How to Start a Podcast: An introductionWelcome to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. I'm your host, Nina Badzin. I've been writing about friendship for over 10 years and podcasting about it for almost four. This episode on how to start a podcast might not be for you. So, send it to your friend who has been thinking about starting a podcast! I break down the process, explaining each aspect from concept, podcast art, music, format, equipment, recording, editing, hosting your episodes, marketing, realistic expectations for your friends' interest, realistic exceptions for how much a guest will share. All in less than 35 minutes! ...
2025-03-3132 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#137 - Find Your Walking Friends (encore with Leslie Hooton)Many of us enjoy walking with friends for the mental and physical benefits (or could consider starting with the Dear Nina 2025 friendship challenge). However, the power of walking with friends is EXTRA inspiring in today’s episode.Leslie Hooton had to learn to walk multiple times throughout her life because of a stroke she had when she was born and numerous surgeries she's endured since. Leslie shares how neighborhood friends each took an assigned day when her beloved gym closed so that Leslie's muscles would get the essential movement necessary to keep her on her feet and he...
2025-03-1723 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#136 - Your Three to Five Closest Friends (Letter Spotlight) with Rebekah JacobsWhat if you have lots of friends, but nobody feels like your special confidante or the person who would have your back no matter what? The newest letter spotlight episode comes from a listener who signed off as "Too Many Fish in the Sea." She feels lucky to have cultivated a wide community and plenty of friends, but she doesn't feel like she has super close friends.Joining me to answer the letter is my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs. Rebekah has been working with me for a while, but I wanted to get her on the mic...
2025-03-1027 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#135 - Focus on a Hyperlocal Friendship: March Friendship ChallengeThere are local friends and there are “HYPERLOCAL” friends. This month in the Dear Nina community, we’re focusing on hyperlocal friendships—developing new ones and maintaining the ones you already have in your life. I introduce the March friendship challenge in this episode, which of course you can start any day of ANY MONTH. The challenge this month focuses on hyperlocal friendships, emphasizing the significance of proximity in building connections. I share some personal anecdotes and practical tips for engaging with friends in your neighborhood or at least nearby. I’m encouraging listeners to take actiona...
2025-03-0319 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#134 - Fandom and the Potential for Friendship: with SC PerotMAKING FRIENDS IN A FANDOM COMMUNITYFandom, especially very enthusiastic fandom, can provide community, belonging, and friendship. In episode #134 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I'm joined by Vanderbilt professor, lawyer, author, and joy enthusiast, SC Perot, who shares her story of rediscovering joy after a devastating divorce, highlighting how her newfound interest in Harry Styles and the community surrounding his concerts provided a much-needed escape and a way to connect with people who wanted to discuss something other than divorce. A formerly-casual fan of Harry Styles, SC ended up attending 17 Harry Styles concerts in five countries!
2025-02-2437 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#132 - The 4 Types of Connection: with Dr. Adam DorsayWhile friendship is an essential type of connection at every age and the one area of personal growth I discuss most often on Dear Nina, today’s guest, psychologist Dr. Adam Dorsay, expands the conversation to the four types of connections we need to lead fulfilling lives. Those four areas are: connection to ourselves, to others, to the world, and to something greater. Dr. Adam, author of Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the 4 Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love, shares the FEED model for enhancing connection. We also talk about the consequences of dis...
2025-02-1033 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#130 - The Sober Curious Lifestyle and the Impact on Your Friendships: with Hallie SawyerDo you know someone who has adopted a "sober curious" lifestyle? Perhaps it's a pivot you've been considering for yourself? The term is usually credited to Ruby Warrington, author of Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol.“Sober curious” means you're curious about how much you're drinking and how your health, relationships, and work and more might change without alcohol, even if you don't have an addiction.Today's guest, writer and podcaster, Hallie Sawyer, began a sober curious journey several years ago...
2025-01-2828 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#126 - Is It Time For a Friendship Cleanse? (encore with Anna Goldfarb)Welcome to the top episode on Dear Nina in 2024—the 14-day friendship cleanse, brainchild Anna Goldfarb whose book, Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is a must read for anyone looking to improve their friendships. Don't feel put off by the word, "cleanse." This discussion is about reconsidering how you're approaching friendships and how you're treating your closest friends. (And that particular list shouldn't be too long.)By the end of this episode, you will have a healthier mindset for thinking through your friendships, and you'll know why I became friends with Anna after he...
2024-12-2634 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#125 - The 10% Rule in Friendship and The Negativity Bias with Ann ImigWhy does the inner judge in our brains automatically default to negativity? We assume the worst and let our insecurities lead the way. How does this inner judge interfere with our friendships? And what can we do to create curiosity instead of negativity?Ann Imig, creator and author of LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER, and life coach at Listen Life Coaching, is here with practical tools that will help keep the judge at bay. Ann encourages "curiosity, celebrating, and savoring" in our friendships, "showing up when you show up," and utilizing the words and mindset...
2024-12-1935 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#120 - Six Ways to be More Generous in Your Friendships with Emma NadlerBeing generous in our friendships makes us better friends and keeps solid friends in our lives. We're not talking about money here! To quote this week's guest, relationship-based therapist and author, Emma Nadler, "When we act more generously we feel better. So there's a lot in it for you, too." We discussed Emma's top five ways to be a more generous friend, and I added one of mine to the list. So yes, in 29 minutes you're getting SIX ways to be more generous in your friendships, which research links to a happier, more fulfilling life.
2024-11-1329 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#118 - Navigating Friendship Struggles Through Social Prescribing with Julia Hotz"Social" prescriptions from your doctor? Yes! What if for the sake of our mental and physical health doctors wrote prescriptions for cycling groups, fishing clubs, or volunteer positions on a farm? Those are real scenarios in Julia Hotz's THE CONNECTION CURE: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service and Belonging, "the first book exploring the science, stories, and spread of social prescribing."In today's episode, a perfect follow-up to last week's episode on the importance of hobbies for the empty nest and retirement, Julia and I discussed these activity-based and creative "medical" solutions to the post-30...
2024-10-3032 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#111 - The Friend Who Never Asks About You: Letter SpotlightIt's another letter spotlight episode! This week's anonymous letter is from a woman with two friends who never ask about her. She's fed up doing all the listening and none of the talking. She wants to know how to handle this friendship dynamic and whether other Dear Nina listeners deal with this same issue. Let us know in our facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group.In The Letter Spotlight series I'll be reading one anonymous letter from my inbox every six weeks or so and sharing my answer. Last month's letter was about issues...
2024-09-0612 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#107 - Friendships Between Sisters-in-law (and roommates, cousins, and neighbors)I rarely cover family relationships on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, but I consistently receive letters about sisters-in-law so I realized it was time to broach the topic.Let me first say, I have a wonderful relationship with my sisters-in-law. I'm lucky! I was still able to take what I know about getting along (or not) with friends and relate it to the sister-in-law problem that listeners and readers keep writing to me about. In this new series, The Letter Spotlight, I'll be sharing one letter every six weeks o...
2024-08-0418 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#104 - Brain Cancer, Friendship, and the Scary Mommy Blogging Days with Jill SmoklerJill Smokler is the creator of Scary Mommy, one of the most original and successful mom blogs ever. She was also the first mom blogger to sell her site to a major media company. But Dear Nina is not a business podcast, and this is not a discussion about business regrets or rebranding. Jill was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. And since Jill is also my real-life friend from college, this episode is personal.Jill and I had a candid conversation about her diagnosis, her decision to step away from her post-Scary Mommy work...
2024-07-1734 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#101 - Best Friends, Friendship Trios, Being More Direct with Friends, and MoreIt's the first official "ask me anything" episode in honor of 100 episodes!The questions came from my anonymous inbox, my Facebook group (Dear Nina: The Group), or through Instagram and TikTok-- both @dearninafriendship.I had a great time answering questions and I couldn't even get to everything so I will keep doing these every so often.Some of the topics I covered in under 30 minutes:Be more direct with friendsAwkwardness after ending a friendshipFriendship trios, rectanglesLetting friends hangout without youDon’t assume friends operate like you do...
2024-06-2127 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#100 - The Magic of Camp Friends with Dara LevanThey say camp friends are the best friends. Why? At camp there are no screens, you take risks, parents aren't breathing down your back, and the magic ingredients of endless hours + constant proximity make it possible to create intense, close bonds with kids your age.In this special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I have voicemails from campers and former campers ages 15-50, and I have a fantastic in-depth discussion about the highs (and lows) of camp friendships with author, Dara Levan, whose new novel, It Could Be Worse, features an important...
2024-06-1340 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#99 - The 14-Day Friendship (Mindset) Cleanse with Anna GoldfarbWelcome to the 14-day friendship (mindset) cleanse, brainchild of previous Dear Nina guest, Anna Goldfarb, whose book Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is finally out in the world. Don't feel put off by the word, "cleanse." This discussion is about reconsidering how you're approaching friendships and how you're treating your closest friends. (And that particular list shouldn't be too long.)By the end of this episode, you will have a healthier frame for thinking through your friendships, and you'll know why I became friends with Anna after her visit to t...
2024-06-0433 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#97 - Disclosing My Invisible Disability Increased the Intimacy In My Friendships with Estelle ErasmusInvisible disabilities can turn into a source of shame and unknowingly get in the way of friendships. What is an invisible disability? It's any condition that is not obvious, perhaps even to the closest of friends. Some examples are depression, anxiety, other mental health diagnoses, as well as physical conditions such as chronic pain, fatigue, and too many other examples to list where symptoms are felt but not seen.This week's guest, Estelle Erasmus, shares her experience with genetic hearing loss that began in her 20s and stayed a secret long after she started wearing hearing aids...
2024-05-1925 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#96 - Mixtapes, Mahjong, and Other Sensory Friendship Experiences (encore with Gretchen Rubin)I have been a Gretchen Rubin fan since 2009 when I read The Happiness Project the week it came out. Who could resist that cover and concept? And I cannot believe this, but I got to discuss my favorite topic, friendship, with Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina.In celebration of Gretchen's paperback release of Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World, I am replaying our episode from about a year ago. I found my favorite parts of the episode and put it together.
2024-05-1047 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#93 - Handling Small Friendship Slights and Changing Your Instagram HandleA quick conversation about the subtle hurts that can make friendship difficult. It's the small slights I cover on Dear Nina in general, not the giant betrayals.Why? The big "stuff" is much more black and white, and we don't need much conversation around whether to stay friends.Today I also have a big instagram tip if you're looking to change your Instagram handle. I changed mine to @dearninafriendship. Instagram doesn't make it all that simple if you have tons of links in the world leading to your old handle (which I do). I explain...
2024-04-1108 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#80 - Neediness in Friendships with Sally Vardaman"Neediness" has come up in plenty of episodes, but this is the first one dedicated to that loaded word. The episode was inspired by a letter from a listener--author, Sally Vardaman, who found herself reacting to my mom's story in episode #72 about her decision to end a friendship over what she called, "neediness." Sally's letter was so reflective and insightful that I asked her to come on the show.We covered: feeling drained by a friend's needs.worrying you're overtaxing friends with your needs.eliminating the shame of having needs in the first p...
2023-12-1129 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#78 - Pursuing a New Friend and Texting Etiquette with Stephanie Goldstein and Rachel Levy LesserYou feel good potential friendship chemistry with someone, but then what to do next? This is an episode about pursuing a new friend. (We also get into some texting etiquette.)How do you pursue the friendship in a way that lets the other person know you're interested, but doesn't scare them off? And if you're someone who already has a full social life, how do you make time for a new friend? And why should you make time for a new friend?We also discussed some texting etiquette such as when to employ the thumbs up...
2023-11-1330 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#77 - Loneliness and Male Friendship with Gabe MollicaIf there's one thing we need these days, it's some joy and laughter. It's dark times. And while today's story of a heartbreak from a friendship breakup isn't exactly what we think of as funny on its own, I am thrilled to tell you that there is a fantastic comedian out there who has made humor and art out of a painful friendship breakup he had in college.Gabe Mollica's one-man show is called Solo: A Show About Friendship. How could I not feature it on Dear Nina? If you're a fan o...
2023-10-3121 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#76 - Yes, Reach Out to Your Friends During a CrisisThis episode of Dear Nina focuses on reaching out amidst turmoil (this time in particular, in the Middle East), navigating conversations when you’re not sure what to say, and the profound impact of letting someone know you’re thinking of them.Questions discussed include: Can a simple message of love and support make a difference to a friend during a crisis?Is it fair to expect friends to post on social media? At what point do you let friends know you're disappointment they didn't reach out?How do you handle it when you se...
2023-10-1818 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#74 - The Childhood Friendships that Shaped Our Identities with Kristin NilsenHave you ever stopped to acknowledge the profound impact of your childhood friendships, even the most casual and fleeting ones, on your adult identity? This episode is dedicated to the friends who touched our lives, even if they are no longer an active part of it. Walk down memory lane with Kristin Nilsen, a middle-grade fiction writer and co-host of The Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast, as we scrutinize our early social interactions and their lasting influence. We acknowledge the importance of these friendships, even those that were temporary, and appreciate the roles they p...
2023-09-2731 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#70 - Become Your Own Social Director: Stop Waiting for InvitationsEver feel like your social life is a waiting game, stuck in the perpetual hope for an invitation to hang out? It’s time to flip the script! This episode is about empowering you to take control of your social time and friendships.Don't wait around hoping to be invited--reach out, take the lead, and discover the joy that comes with being the planner. It's a super power!This is the perfect episode for a new school year, or a new season of friendship for ALL AGES from kids to...
2023-08-2421 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#65 - Big Friend Groups and Accepting Teen Friendship Strife with Dr. Lisa DamourDr. Lisa Damour is the NYT bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and the co-host of the Ask Lisa Podcast. On Dear Nina, I focus on adult friendships, but sometimes I touch on teen friendships because teen friend strife is slipping into adult friendships. While it was once expected that teens would experience friendship changes as part of growing up, it now seems making sure teens never feel upset about their social lives is another thing for parents to manage. Lisa's work helps adults understand how much distress to expect in teens' lives and w...
2023-07-2024 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#60 - College Friends in the 90s and the Potential of Current Campus Friendships with Daisy Alpert FlorinCollege friendships! Daisy Alpert Florin, author of My Last Innocent Year, joins me to discuss the unparalleled intimacy of college friendships. We delve into the impact of choosing the right college environment, as well as how the lack of technology (in the 90s) and the abundance of time led to more meaningful connections. Don't miss this nostalgia-filled episode as Daisy and I analyze how and why college friendships can have lasting influence for the rest of our lives. Meet Daisy Alpert FlorinDaisy attended Dartmouth College and received graduate degrees from Columbia Un...
2023-06-1527 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#52 - Choosing a New Expat Life After a Tragedy with Jen ZwinckToday on Dear Nina I have a guest with a harrowing and inspiring story to share about starting a new life with new friends after a horrific tragedy. This is unlike any story I've heard firsthand, and I'm grateful for Jen's candor and honesty.Jen Zwinck wrote to me:After my husband was killed, I moved with my daughter to a small island in the Caribbean where I didn't know a single person. I went there to heal. What surprised me was the friendships that I formed while I was there, these...
2023-04-1933 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#51 - How to Recognize a Toxic Friendship with Michelle Anderson and Lauren MassarellaFirst thing to know, not all friendships with issues are "toxic." I'm not sure there's a more overused word on the internet. That said, it's something we need to discuss on a friendship podcast. Recognizing a toxic friendship and what to do about it sounds like a serious thing to discuss. And it is! But my two guests are so fun and delightful that you could almost forget how unhappy these kinds of friendships can make people. Get ready for a lot of Midwestern accents on this episode, starting with mine. Then add Michelle Anderson and Lauren Massarella from...
2023-04-1030 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#50 - How Friendship Changes With Age and Overlooking Foibles (with my mom)I'm thrilled to welcome my mom back to Dear Nina. My mom, Kathy Sackheim, has been an instrumental part of the Dear Nina friendship universe. I quote her often in the column and the podcast. In this 20-minute episode she answered some questions that came in from the Dear Nina Facebook group. We covered the ways she's seen attitudes about friendship change through the decades, whether parents and kids can be friends, whether parents should get involved in teens' friendship issues, handling other parents' opinions of us, letting go of trying to control your older kids as they leave...
2023-04-0319 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipBonus: Friendship Mistakes on She's Got IssuesIn an episode with Jill Smokler, formally THE Scary Mommy of the famous Scary Mommy, and currently the host of the podcast, She's Got Issues, you’re going to hear about the most common mistakes people make in friendships, and the hard learned lessons. You will also hear an all around honest chat between old college friends and some regrets from that time. Jill and I went to WashU together! She's been kind of enough to now have me on her show for a second time.We covered lots of friendship issues in just un...
2023-03-1304 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#44 - How Diet Culture Complicates Friendships with Pam MooreThe topic of diet culture and friendship inspired more emails from my Facebook group--Dear Nina: The Group--than any other topic since I started the podcast. What do I mean by diet culture and friendship? I'm referring to how the culture of dieting and the worship of thinness affects friendships, can become competitive, and is spread among friends. We also discussed friends being overly invested in and overly influenced by each other's decisions about food.Pam Moore is an occupational therapist-turned-intuitive eating coach and health and fitness journalist. As an intuitive eating coach, her mission i...
2023-01-3034 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#42 - Which Friendships Do You Enjoy the Most and Why?Taking time to identify the friendships that are going well in your life and WHY is a worthwhile activity. It's my January challenge for listeners, readers, and for the Dear Nina Facebook group. This is one of my more personal episodes. Thanks for being here!Here is the 7-day happiness challenge from the New York Times mentioned in the episode.The challenge was inspired by the long study on happiness, all of which is compiled in the book The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happ...
2023-01-0618 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#40 - Giving Thoughtful Gifts to FriendsEpisode #40: After discussing the topic of great gift ideas for friends in my Facebook group--Dear Nina: The Group--I heard such thoughtful examples that I wanted to share those ideas with listeners. There are some really creative gifts in this quick 10-minute episode. I also briefly discussed Anna Goldfarb's recent Atlantic article, "Gift-Giving is About the Buyer, Not the Receiver." Anna was a guest on episode 35 of Dear Nina.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to...
2022-12-1111 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#37 - The Benefits of Couple Friends (with my husband)There are lots of benefits to having couple friends. My husband joined me as we reflected on why we have made such a big effort to maintain couple friendships throughout our 20+ year marriage and what we think it adds to our lives. We each have our own friends, but couple friendships have been important too. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook g...
2022-11-0115 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#36 - Widowhood and the Importance of Friendship (with my mom)My mom, Kathy Sackheim, joined me to discuss widowhood and friendship, as well as friendships while my dad was in the later years of Parkinson's Disease. I'm so grateful for my mom's honesty and advice. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.
2022-10-1620 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#35 - Lopsided Friendships with Anna GoldfarbJournalist, Anna Goldfarb, joins me to discuss managing a lopsided friendship— that feeling you’re putting more into the friendship than your friend is, and, maybe even being okay with it depending on the situation.The episode came about after reading Anna's article in vox.com called "How to Handle a Lopsided Friendship."Anna Goldfarb is the author of Modern Friendship and writes about friendships, relationships, and pop psychology for major publications. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Vice, TIME, The Cut and more. She's the auth...
2022-10-0225 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#34 - Reconnecting With an Ex-Friend (encore with Rebecca Kotok)It is possible to reconnect with an ex-friend and forget the issues that caused the breakup? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But forgiveness is a necessary ingredient if you're even going to try. In this replay episode, I have a candid conversation with one of my best friends, Rebecca Kotok, who for about three years in our 20s, was my ex-best friend. We discuss why we stopped talking, and how and why we rekindled our friendship.Plus, Rebecca and I discuss two voicemails from listeners with their own forgiveness stories, one that worked well and...
2022-09-2537 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#33 - When the Desire for Friendship is Not Equal with Ruchi KovalWhen the desire for friendship is not equal, things can get very tricky. My guest, the wise Ruchi Koval, is here to help. We talked about the reality of hurt feelings and disappointments in real friendships, and the question of whether every friendship needs to "fill your cup." It was a challenging letter from a listener and a challenging conversation overall. Meet Ruchi KovalRuchi is the co-founder and Associate Director of Congregation JFX, an innovative community in Cleveland, Ohio. She has been a Jewish educator for two decades, leading self-development groups for ad...
2022-09-1825 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#32 - Conflict Can Strengthen a Friendship with Dr. Marisa FrancoDr. Marisa G. Franco, author of Platonic, and I talk about how expressing anger can strengthen a friendship. Dr. Franco also gives tips for how conflict between friends can have a win-win outcome. We talk about attachment theory in friendship and more."When someone brings up an issue with us, remember it as an act of love. They are giving us an opportunity to reconcile and to heal things. They're giving us enlightenment as to how we can do better as a friend. And that's gold. How rare do we get that in our...
2022-09-0526 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#31 - Friends From Different Backgrounds with Julie Burton and Stephanie PierceToday we’re talking about being friends with people who are different from you. There have been a ton of articles on the topic lately because of a new study about cross-class friendships— just one kind of difference possible in a friendshipI of course could not tackle this topic alone, so I invited the fabulous friendship pair and podcast duo from HerNext Chapter, Stephanie Pierce and Julie Burton.I’ve seen tons of research over the years on the benefits for society as a whole when everyone isn’t exactly like their friends. This is also...
2022-08-2232 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#30 - Loneliness Despite Having Close Friends with Mary Laura PhilpottAuthor, Mary Laura Philpott, joins me to discuss feeling loneliness and worry despite having close friends. Mary Laura Philpott is the nationally bestselling author of I Miss You When I Blink and of Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives. She writes about the overlap of the absurd and the profound in everyday life. Her writing has been featured by The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Atlantic, among many other publications. A former bookseller, she also hosted an interview program on Nashville Public Television for several years. Mary Laura lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with her family.
2022-08-0828 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#29 - Outgrowing a Friendship and Friends Who Do Not Root For You with Chaz SandiferChaz Sandifer joins me to discuss the reality of outgrowing friendships and friends who disappear in the good times but show up in bad times. "Over the course of 10 years, as I've grown as an entrepreneur, I realized there are people in your life who are there for a season, some people who are in our lives forever, and some who are there to teach a lesson and just for you to take the next step." ~ Chaz"'Must be nice' is not a compliment. 'Must be nice' is always full of jealousy or envy, which i...
2022-07-2526 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#28 - Grieving the Death of a Friend with Zibby OwensThe one and only Zibby Owens joins me to talk about her memoir, Bookends, and her experiences grieving the death of three close friends.In her new book, Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature, Zibby tells several story threads at the same time, all organized around the books Zibby was reading when events occurred. It starts as a personal family history of Zibby's grandparents rising in America, her own childhood, education, and career story. It's a motherhood story and a romance, too. But very central to this memoir is the tragedy of losing close friends t...
2022-07-1129 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#27 - Teen Friend Groups and Friends Who Drift Away with Taryn KesselWe're tackling four friendship dilemmas from listeners in under 30 minutes. This time the topics circle around (mild) covid issues in friendships, the role of a best friend in adulthood, what happens when a teen's group is drifting away, and a listener whose friends keep walking away from the friendship. Thank you once again to Taryn Kessel for joining me!You can find the full show notes with the questionsHERE.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Su...
2022-06-2725 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipCovid Issues With Friends, Teen Groups, Friends Who Leave: Ep 27In episode 27 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, my best friend, Taryn Kessel, and I once again tackle four questions in under 30 minutes. This time the topics circle around covid issues in friendships, the role of a best friend in adulthood, what happens when a teen's group is drifting away, and a person whose friends keep leaving.Join us in the Dear Nina Facebook group, Taryn is there too!You can find the show notes HERE.GET MY MONTHLY FRIENDSHIP-THEMED NEWSLETTER!Twitter @NinaBadzin
2022-06-2725 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#26 - Making New Friends After 50 with Pop Culture Preservation SocietyYou want to make new friends, but worry it’s too late? Too hard? Too intimidating? You don’t know where to start? I believe it's never too late to make new friends, which is why I invited Carolyn Cochrane, Kristin Nilsen, and Michelle Newman of the Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast to tell us how they become good friends in the last handful of years, what these new friendships have meant to them in a new stage of life, and what advice they have for others who want to bring new people into their orbits.The...
2022-06-1334 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#25 - Improving Group Texts with Kat VellosLove them or hate them, you're probably in a group chat once in a while or even very regularly. Author, Kat Vellos, and I are navigating the world of group texts and all the friendship issues and potential that come along with them.Kat and I discuss the ideal uses for group chats, the less than ideal uses, and all the potential etiquette opportunities that could make our group chats more effective and enjoyable. I say opportunities because sometimes etiquette has a bad rap, but when done well, it can make communication better.
2022-05-3135 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipBonus: Analyzing Steel Magnolias With The Untitled Gen-X PodcastDid you love the movie Steel Magnolias in the 80s/early 90s? I did, but rewatching it recently brought up some thoughts I never would have had as a kid when I watched it MANY times.Instead of a regular Dear Nina episode this week, I’m directing you to a deep dive discussion I had with Lori at the The Untitled Gen-X Podcast. We left no stone of Steel Magnolias unturned, including the friendships it portrayed, like why did Julia Roberts' character have NO friends?! The Untitled Gen-X Podcast is an all around really fun...
2022-05-2401 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#24 - Boundaries Without Damaging Your Friendships (with my husband!)How to gracefully maintain boundaries and stop giving away too much information without damaging your friendships. This episode with my husband, Bryan, is a direct follow-up to the discussion I had in episode 23 when my guest and I spoke about kids' issues becoming too private to share with friends. I asked Bryan to share his advice for keeping information private because he's really good at connecting with people without feeling he has to overshare-- something I'm constantly working on improving. Many people agreed with me after listening to episode 23 that it's important to keep s...
2022-05-1617 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#23 - When Kids' Issues Are Too Private to Discuss With Friends with Rebecca PrenevostI answered an anonymous listener's question about how to still feel close to friends when you can no longer discuss issues that once might have bonded you like certain parenting conundrums. There comes a point when our kids' problems are really their stories to share and we have to honor their privacy.Here to help me is Twin Cities author, Rebecca Prenevost, a mom of two daughters who enjoys reading, writing, and listening to all things related to parenting tweens and teens. Rebecca is the author of the Mom Walks series, a women’s fi...
2022-05-0220 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#22 - Host Friends (and Potential Friends) for Meals With Less Stress with Debra ArbitFast forward a friendship by hosting friends for a meal! I'm taking on two topics today, with one topic logically leading to the other. #1. How to go from being casual acquaintances to actually considering someone a friend. #2. How to make it easier to have people over for a meal.I have the only sensible guest to handle this challenge, and that is my good friend, Debra Arbit. In addition to being a consultant for women business owners, and raising three young kids, Debra has hosted TONS of friends and acquaintances at her house for m...
2022-04-1829 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#21 - The Friends Who Are Like Family with Rachel Levy LesserI loved my conversation with Pennsylvania-based author Rachel Levy Lesser, and I REALLY enjoyed Rachel's memoir, Life’s Accessories. In the episode, we discussed Rachel losing her mother so soon after Rachel had her first child. We talked about how close Rachel was with her mom and the ways friends stepped up for her when her mom was sick with cancer and when her mom passed away. We also covered the ways friends showed up for me when my dad died in December, at a much different stage of my life. It was a really touching conversation, and I’ve e...
2022-04-0432 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#20 - Friendship Chemistry: What Makes People ClickI'm fascinated by what makes people click. Within minutes we often know whether we want to pursue a friendship with someone, or not. Is that fair? Maybe not, but it's reality. Time and experience together can overcome a so-so initial chemistry, but I want to talk about those magical friendship moments. Those "friends at first sight" feelings. Have you had them? I’d love to hear about them in the Facebook group if you’re willing to share. Today's post quotes Click: The Forces Behind How We Engage with People, Work, and Everything We Do by Ori and Ram Braf...
2022-03-2114 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#19 - Novels and Memoirs About Friendship with Rebekah JacobsBooks about friendship! Today's episode combines two of my favorite topics—friendship and books--specifically, novels and memoirs about friendship for adults. Thank you to my guest, Rebekah Jacobs, who came up with all the book categories and was the perfect well-read guest to join me in this discussion. It was like the best giant book club meeting ever.You can find the show notes with the BOOK LISTS here.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nin...
2022-03-1035 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#18 - Four Friendship Dilemmas in 30 Minutes with Taryn KesselScaling back, reaching out, overlooking flaws, and accepting boundaries. Taryn and I answered four listeners' questions about friendship in about 30 minutes. We jammed a lot in!You can find the full show note with the questions here.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need...
2022-02-1830 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#17 - Friendship and Sobriety with Jen VeralleEpisode #17: An important discussion about sobriety in friendship, from addiction to all levels of sober living and how friendships transition and sometimes completely phase out in early sobriety. Jen Veralle shared her personal story and offered extremely helpful tips. You can find the full show notes here. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an a...
2022-02-0735 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#16 - Stop Focusing on the Popular GroupThis whole idea of "the in crowd" or "the popular crowd" comes up in questions I’ve received for many years.As a generality, I’m calling the issue in crowd vs out crowd, but let me clear, nobody uses that exactly language when they write to me. What I get instead are letters explaining how frustrated people are when they aren’t being welcomed into a certain group, or when their kids aren’t included to hang out with a certain group.Or perhaps a kid has encountered a "mean girls" situatio...
2022-01-2416 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#15 - The Art of Small Talk and Body Language When Making New Friends with Ali WenzkeMaking small talk is an essential step of making friends. There's no avoiding it. All relationships, casual or deep, start with those first moments of small talk. I invited Ali Wenzke, author of The Art of Happy Moving, to give us lots of tips about making this kind of (sometimes) awkward conversation and how body language cues can help in making friends, too.You can find the show notes HERE.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space...
2022-01-1028 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#14 - Making Deeper Connections With Friends with Jessica SmockThe most essential point in this episode is about creating opportunities to see the same people on a regular basis. It takes a lot of repeated time together to get more familiar and really feel CLOSE. I think it’s why pickle ball and paddle ball leagues are getting so popular as one example.I also discuss how keeping expectations in check might also be the key to feeling happier with the friendships we already have. My guest for this episode is Jessica Smock, one of the co-creators of The...
2021-12-1329 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#13 - Get Out of Your Comfort Zone to Make New Friends with Michelle PlattMaking new friends as an adult is difficult whether it’s because you moved to a new city, you’re in a new stage of life, or you’re lonely and could use more friends. It takes tons of time to make casual friends you want to see repeatedly and even more time to make close friends. But it’s not impossible. Difficult? Yes. Takes consistent effort and work? Also yes. But it can be done.What helped me make friends in Minneapolis when I moved 20+ years ago in my 20s was accepting that I would often have to b...
2021-11-2931 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#12 - Helping a Friend In Crisis and Asking For Help with Alissa ButterfassHow can we help a friend who’s in crisis because of illness or grief? And how can we ask for help rather than waiting for friends to know exactly what to do?A few months ago, Alissa reached out on email to discuss a trend she saw on some of the Facebook pages and forums for widows. She wrote: "One thing I see over and over in these groups is people complaining that friends who said they'd be there for them have disappeared or dropped off or stopped supporting them. Now, mayb...
2021-11-1525 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#11 - Lessons From Male Friendships with Dave DlugerMy brother-in-law, Dave Dluger, and I were talking after recording an episode, we got into a conversation about how male friendships seem to involve less drama and I realized we ought to record it as an episode. I loved getting a male perspective on some of the previous episodes.In addition to male friendships, we talked about friends being there for Dave and my sister during hard times, being aware of our personality foibles while with good friends, thoughts on friends ignoring our social media posts, and much more.ALL THE DEAR...
2021-11-0119 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipMini-Episode: Friends Make MistakesLast week in episode #10 with author Jessica Speer who wrote BFF or NRF, we talked briefly about her nine friendship truths. We mainly focused on truth #9— which was “You choose which of your friendships to grow. Grow the healthy ones.” In this mini-episode I am focusing on Jessica's truth #6— "Everyone makes mistakes." If we want wiggle room to make mistakes with friends, we have to allow friends to make mistakes with us. Sounds obvious, but there are definitely people out there with a zero tolerance for others' mistakes (while allowing themselves room to mess up).ALL THE...
2021-10-2403 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#10 - My Kid Isn't Interested In Pursuing This Friendship with Jessica SpeerIt's not easy to say no to a friendship. And it's just as hard to help our kids do the same. How do you handle it when you’re not interested in pursuing a friendship, but you don’t want to be unkind when subtly communicating that message to an acquaintance? And how do we help kids make decisions about which friendships to pursue? It's tricky to simultaneously teach kids to make their own decisions about friendships while teaching them to treat people with kindness. I have the perfect guest to help me dissect this is...
2021-10-1829 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#9 - Friends Will Hang Out Without You with Taryn KesselAccepting that friends will hang out without you is a key to happier adult friendships. My best friend Taryn Kessel and I discuss that truth. We also talked about how to balance the desire for smaller, intimate friend gatherings with the desire to never leave anyone out. If you've ever been excluded, you know how terrible it feels. But as we get older, we need to figure out how to be gracious about "letting" friends hang out without us, especially if we are also the types who value outings with a few friends at a time. In other words...
2021-10-0420 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipMini-Episode: A Positive View on Friends Asking Personal QuestionsA mini-ep to understand why friends ask personal or even intrusive questions, which came up in episode 8 with my mom: “How to handle friends’ questions you don’t want to answer." In that episode, my mom and I talked about strategies for avoiding giving away information, but we didn’t try to understand where intrusive/personal/intimate questions come from in the first place. Today's episode is a more positive view to consider.Let's connect! ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina...
2021-09-2705 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#8 - When Friends Ask Questions You Don't Want to Answer (with my mom!)The role of privacy in close friendships, the line between intimacy and privacy, the lines between white lies/ withholding information, and the right to keep some things to yourself. My guest is my mom, the queen of the artful dodge. We discuss how to manage these sometimes invasive (even when well-intentioned) conversations without hurting feelings or making things awkward. It’s not easy!ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack
2021-09-2016 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipMini-Episode: The Friendship Apology Prayer We All NeedSometimes we're waiting for apologies from friends and sometimes we owe apologies. Inspired by the Al Chet prayer we say in synagogue on Yom Kippur, I’m offering a version related only to friendship. And like we do for Yom Kippur, I’m using “we” not “I” because I’d like to think I’m not alone in my friendship transgressions. I know not everyone reading this follows the Jewish calendar, but it’s always a good time for a fresh start. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to...
2021-09-1405 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#7 - True Forgiveness After a Difficult Friendship Breakup with Rebecca KotokEpisode #7: Friendship breakups and repairing a broken friendship. One of my best friends, who was once an ex-friend, and I discussed whether it’s possible to truly forgive a friend who hurt you and whether you can restart a friendship that ended. We did it and we think others can, too. Forgiving someone doesn’t always mean staying friends or becoming friends again. I’m merely asking listeners to be open to the possibility. The main part of today’s episode will focus on the very close friend, Rebecca Kotok, who gave me a second a chance. ...
2021-09-0637 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#6 - When to Unfriend, Mute, Hide, Unfollow, or Block Friends on Social MediaUnfollowing a friend on social media is not always the answer. This quick episode will help you decide between unfollowing, muting, hiding, unfriending, or blocking. A friend's posts are bugging you on social media? Unfriending is not always the answer. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another...
2021-08-3005 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#5 - The Friend Who Ignores Your Social Media Posts with Rudri PatelHow much engagement can expect friends to have on your social media posts? Have you ever had a friend who presses "like" and comments on all of your mutual friends’ posts but ignores yours? You’d like to rise above it all, but you can’t help feeling hurt? Or, are you the person who scrolls through friends' posts, but can't bring yourself to "like" them? My guest, Rudri Patel, and I give advice to a letter writer who is frustrated by her close friend's social media shunning. And remember to stick around for the Better Friendship Goal of...
2021-08-2219 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#4 - Revealing Too Much Too Soon With New Friends with Christie TateChristie Tate, author of Group: How One Therapist And A Circle of Strangers Saved My Life, joined me to answer an anonymous question about mental health and how much to reveal to a new friend. Christie and I discussed if you have what some might consider "extra baggage," whether this is something you should tell a new friend right away. If not, when is the right time to share personal details that might scare away a new friend if told too soon?ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulo...
2021-08-0927 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#3 - The Friend Who Never Initiates Contact with Pam MooreAre you the friend who calls or texts first and reaches out for plans, or do you let your friends reach out first? In this episode my guest, Pam Moore, and I answer a letter from someone who is tired of making all the effort to get in touch or instigate plans. And as it turns out, some of the most popular internet searches leading to my website is the phrase, "My friend never initiates contact," "My friend never texts first," "My friend never makes plans first," "Why do I always have to initiate plans first?"
2021-07-2722 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship#1 - The Friend Who Will Only Text (with my mom!) If you have a friend who will only text, do you accept that fact if you’re more of a phone talker? What if you're the one who prefers to text, but your good friend insists on phone chats? Can a friendship last when the modes of communication are not agreed upon? My guest today is my mom, Kathy Sackheim, whose wise words I've quoted in my column for many years. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscri...
2021-07-2616 min
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipWelcome to Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipDear Nina, Conversations About Friendship is a podcast for people who love discussing the ups and downs of friendship. I'm Nina Badzin, a writer who has been writing about friendship since 2014, when two editors of a friendship focused website offered me an advice column.I'm not a therapist. I'm not a social worker. I'm someone with a passion for friendship who offers a practical and compassionate take to anyone who asks for my advice. I will never be snarky about it, but I will be direct.You'd think after answering anonymous friendship questions online for...
2021-07-1402 min