Shows
If We Only Knew ThenNarcissismOn this episode, Nora and I discuss our brushes with narcissism and what we've learned about spotting and dealing with narcissists. If you don't know what a "gray rock" is, this episode is for you.2025-03-181h 01
If We Only Knew ThenSupporting the Arts in Challenging Times- an Interview with Arts Presenter, Aaron GreenwaldSummary In this conversation, Aaron Greenwald shares his journey through the arts, detailing his experiences from theater directing to producing festivals and leading arts programs. He emphasizes the importance of community engagement, accessibility in the arts, and the role of arts education in fostering appreciation for diverse art forms. Aaron reflects on his upbringing in an arts-centric environment and discusses the challenges of making art accessible to broader audiences, particularly in the context of education and community support. In this conversation, Aaron Greenwald discusses the importance of art literacy and the challenges of understanding contemporary art. He...2025-03-111h 05If We Only Knew ThenFinding Love, Belonging, Support and Connection Through Chosen FamilyIn this conversation, Paul and Nora explore the concept of chosen family, discussing its significance, personal experiences, and the impact of loneliness in modern society. They delve into the history of family dynamics, the importance of emotional support, and how chosen families can provide a sense of belonging and community, especially in marginalized groups. This conversation explores the evolution of family structures, particularly the transition from intergenerational family units to the nuclear family model, and the subsequent decline of this model in modern society. The speakers discuss the challenges faced by parents today, the concept of chosen family, and...2025-03-0557 minIf We Only Knew ThenAllowing Grief to Transform YouSummary Grief is a powerful and transformative human experience that is often misunderstood and taken as something to be overcome. In this episode, Nora and Paul explore the many sides of grief, including its connection to love, its personal nature, and paths to healing. They discuss various losses, such as the death of loved ones, the end of relationships, and the loss of dreams. They also touch on anticipatory grief and the complex emotions that come with it. The conversation highlights the importance of processing grief and finding ways to navigate through it. Grief is a complex...2025-02-251h 18If We Only Knew ThenThe Beauty Duty- Deconstructing Western Beauty StandardsIn this conversation, Nora and Paul explore the evolution of beauty standards, their historical roots, and the impact of social media on self-image. They discuss how societal pressures have changed over time, particularly for women, and how these standards are often tied to capitalism, racism, and patriarchal structures. The discussion highlights the importance of understanding these influences to make informed choices about personal appearance and self-worth. This conversation explores the evolution of beauty standards, the impact of media on self-image, and personal experiences with health and beauty. The speakers discuss how societal expectations have shifted over time, the role...2025-02-191h 04If We Only Knew ThenConcerned About the World? Tap Into Your Personal Power to Help Change ItIn this conversation, Paul and Nora explore a framework for living that draws from Stoic philosophy and modern psychology. They discuss the importance of understanding the circles of control, influence, and concern, and how this framework can help individuals manage anxiety and regain a sense of personal power. The discussion emphasizes the need to focus on what we can control, build community, and engage in respectful interactions with others. In this conversation, Paul and Nora explore the concepts of influence, control, and community building. They discuss the importance of radical acceptance, cultivating a growth mindset, an...2025-02-111h 03If We Only Knew ThenKnow Your Worth- Turning Self Value from an Outside Job to an Inside JobIn this conversation, Nora and Paul delve into the complex topic of self-worth, exploring its implications in personal and societal contexts. They discuss the importance of understanding one's core values, the impact of self-worth on relationships, and the necessity of forgiveness and detachment from past mistakes. The conversation also highlights the distinction between guilt and shame, emphasizing that self-worth can be developed as a skill through self-compassion and awareness. In this conversation, Paul and Nora explore the importance of self-compassion, the inner child, and the impact of intergenerational narratives on self-worth. They discuss the role of EMDR therapy in...2025-02-041h 05If We Only Knew ThenFeeling Anxious? Create to Ease ItIn this conversation, Paul and Nora explore the decline of creativity in education, particularly due to the systematic elimination of career and technical education (CTE) classes in favor of STEM. They discuss the importance of creativity in problem-solving and the value of skilled trades, reflecting on their own experiences and the cultural implications of a society that prioritizes consumption over creation. The conversation also touches on the impact of social media on creativity and the struggle for authenticity in a world driven by content creation. This conversation explores the themes of authenticity in dance, the legacy of influential dancers...2025-01-281h 05If We Only Knew ThenRecognizing Codependent Relationships and How to Reclaim Your Individual PowerSummary In this episode, Nora and Paul delve into the complexities of codependent relationships, exploring their origins in attachment theory and the struggle between the need for authenticity and the need for attachment. They discuss the psychological roots of people-pleasing behaviors, the challenges of navigating relationships, and the importance of building awareness to foster healing. The conversation also highlights the '10 Commandments of Codependency' as a humorous yet insightful guide to recognizing and addressing codependent behaviors. This conversation delves into the complexities of parenting, self-worth, and the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships. It explores how...2025-01-211h 08If We Only Knew ThenNew Year, New Us! Looking Back on 2024 So We Can Navigate 2025Keywords 2024 reflections, personal growth, community support, intentions for 2025, life challenges, podcast highlights, self-acceptance, curation, attraction, new beginnings, friendship, traditions, rituals, quality living, personal growth, new year, intentional living, fun, silliness, mental health, Nora, declarations, personal growth, hobbies, travel, joy, connection, experiences, discipline, creativity Summary In this conversation, Nora and Paul reflect on their experiences in 2024, discussing personal challenges, lessons learned, and the importance of community. They share their intentions for 2025, focusing on curation, attraction, and the need for rest and acceptance. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of support systems and the j...2025-01-141h 05If We Only Knew ThenWe Are One- Adopting a Non-Dual View to Better ConnectSummary In this conversation, Nora and Paul discuss the concept of oneness or non-duality and how adopting a non-dual worldview can help us feel more connected to ourselves, each other, and the experiences of our lives. They explore the limitations of language and perception, the importance of observing our thoughts, and the role of meditation in cultivating a sense of oneness. They also touch on the impact of our self-centered worldview, the division and separation in the world, and the need for collaboration and empathy. In this conversation, Paul and Nora discuss the concept of n...2025-01-0953 minIf We Only Knew ThenLiving Authentically: Breaking Free from Others' Expectations"Living Authentically: Breaking Free from Others' Expectations" Episode Overview In this deep-dive episode, Paul and Nora explore what it means to live authentically in a world of filters, curated social media feeds, and constant pressure to conform. They tackle the challenging question: "Am I being true to myself, or am I just playing a role others want to see?" Key Topics Explored Understanding authentic living in the modern world Breaking free from others' expectations Setting healthy boundaries The science behind why we care about others' opinions Practical strategies for...2024-12-311h 08If We Only Knew ThenFinding and Creating Opportunities in Difficult TimesIn this conversation, Paul and Nora discuss the challenges of navigating uncertainty in life, particularly in the context of personal struggles and creative solutions. They explore the importance of creating intentional spaces that reflect one's internal state and how these environments can impact mental wellbeing. The discussion also touches on the significance of mindset and community in finding opportunities during adverse times, emphasizing the need for connection and support. In this conversation, Nora and Paul explore the importance of creating a nurturing space, taking small actions during uncertain times, and the power of presence and mindfulness. They discuss the...2024-12-1657 minIf We Only Knew ThenBonus Episode: Coping with Election Anxiety and How to Stay in Your PowerSummary: In this bonus episode, Nora and Paul discuss the anxiety surrounding the future, both on a personal and global level. They emphasize the importance of choosing love over fear and the need to focus on inner peace and self-awareness. They also discuss the need for kindness, integrity, and dignity in a world that is divided. They encourage listeners to take action in small ways and to reject violence and othering. They also discuss the role of systems and the need for radical acceptance and radical kindness. They advise listeners to stop consuming excessive news and to refuse to...2024-07-1953 minIf We Only Knew ThenResume Living to Eulogy Living- How to Transform Your Mindset for a More Engaged LifeSummary: The conversation explores the differences between resume living and eulogy living, focusing on professional achievements and goals versus experiences, relationships, and personal growth. It emphasizes the importance of contemplating death and prioritizing values and virtues. The hosts discuss the need to mend relationships, pursue meaningful experiences, and cultivate self-love. They also highlight the significance of integrating eulogy living practices into our daily lives and the importance of inner work and personal growth. In this conversation, Nora and Paul discuss the importance of living a fulfilling life and making the most of our time. They explore the idea of...2024-07-0255 minIf We Only Knew ThenBuilding Community In the Era of DisconnectSummary: Communities are the lifeblood of society, providing a sense of belonging, support, and identity. Building and maintaining communities in midlife can be challenging, but it is crucial for personal growth and well-being. Studies show that having strong friendships and community connections significantly predict well-being and can protect against anxiety and depression. The cornerstones of community building include shared purpose, effective communication, inclusivity, trust, and respect. Successful communities have a clear shared purpose, listen to members, share information transparently, and facilitate meaningful discussions. Embracing diversity fosters creativity, innovation, and mutual understanding. Building trust and mutual respect among members is...2024-06-251h 06If We Only Knew ThenWelcome to Your Midlife Crisis The midlife crisis is a challenging period that involves questioning identity, career, mortality, relationships, and more. It can lead to feelings of confusion, uncertainty, and anxiety. Some common experiences in midlife include identity questioning, career re-evaluation, relationship challenges, and mortality awareness. Midlife also brings a desire for change, a reflection on past decisions, and a mix of regret and nostalgia. It is important to navigate this phase with self-awareness, acceptance, and a willingness to let go of what no longer serves us. In this part of the conversation, Paul and Nora discuss themes related to midlife crisis, including struggles with...2024-06-181h 23If We Only Knew ThenSympathy, Empathy and Compassion-How to Avoid Emotional Burnout and Still ConnectIn this conversation, Nora and Paul discuss the differences between sympathy, empathy, and compassion. They define each term and explore their various components. They also discuss the merits and downsides of each and highlight the importance of showing care to others while maintaining one's own peace and energy. Nora shares personal examples to illustrate the differences between these concepts. The conversation emphasizes the need for self-awareness and the courage to employ empathy and compassion. They also discuss the importance of witnessing and holding space for someone else's pain. Empathy, sympathy, and compassion are all important aspects of human connection...2024-06-1145 minIf We Only Knew ThenEMDR therapy- What is it? How does it work? And is it a therapy I should explore?Regina Blaine, a trauma-focused therapist, discusses EMDR therapy and the concept of trauma. Trauma is not solely determined by the intensity of an event but by how it is stored in the brain. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that helps process traumatic memories by inducing a neurobiological state similar to REM sleep. Bilateral stimulation, such as eye movement, tapping, or walking, activates both sides of the brain and facilitates the reprocessing of traumatic events. In this conversation, Regina Blaine, a licensed clinical social worker, discusses the impact of therapy on relationships and the importance of...2024-06-041h 35If We Only Knew ThenImposter Syndrome-Overcoming Feelings of Fraud and Embracing Our Authentic SelvesIn this conversation, Nora and Paul discuss imposter syndrome, its causes, manifestations, and how to overcome it. They share their personal experiences of feeling like frauds and discuss the societal and cultural factors that contribute to imposter syndrome. They emphasize the importance of self-compassion and self-acceptance in combating imposter syndrome and offer practical tips for building self-confidence. Takeaways Imposter syndrome is a universally experienced block to personal development, characterized by feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Imposter syndrome can be influenced by societal and cultural factors, such as the pressure to be pe...2024-05-281h 14If We Only Knew ThenAltered States- Psychedelics, Meditation, Cannabis and Expanding our Middle Aged MindsIn this conversation, Paul and Nora discuss altered states of mind, including their experiences with meditation, mushrooms, LSD, and cannabis. They emphasize the importance of meditation as a tool for creating space between thoughts and finding inner peace. They also share their personal journeys with meditation and how it has helped them cope with anxiety and depression. Additionally, they discuss their experiences with cannabis and its role in relaxation, creativity, and sleep. The conversation explores personal experiences with medical marijuana and its effects on sleep and anxiety. The discussion also touches on the recreational use of cannabis and its...2024-05-211h 07If We Only Knew ThenBoundaries- How to Protect Your PeaceBoundaries play a crucial role in maintaining healthy relationships, managing stress, and preserving our emotional well-being. In this episode, Nora and Paul discuss the importance of boundaries and how to cultivate the confidence and assertiveness needed to establish and honor them. They explore different types of boundaries, including personal, energetic, physical, emotional, and time boundaries. Nora and Paul share personal experiences and insights on setting and maintaining boundaries, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and self-respect. Takeaways Boundaries are necessary for maintaining healthy relationships and preserving emotional well-being. Setting boundaries requires self-awareness, se...2024-05-141h 34If We Only Knew ThenMen and ShameIn this episode, Paul and Nora discuss the shame that men carry and its effects on their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. They explore the societal expectations placed on men and how these expectations can lead to a sense of never being good enough. The conversation emphasizes the importance of working with shame to develop a more integrated view of masculinity that embraces both strength and vulnerability. Paul and Nora also address the intention of the episode, which is to foster understanding and compassion rather than further shaming or demonizing men. Takeaways Societal expectations o...2024-05-071h 27If We Only Knew ThenA New Media DietIn this conversation, Nora and Paul discuss the impact of media consumption on our mental well-being and offer alternative movies, TV shows, books, and social media accounts that promote beauty, hope, and connection. They highlight the importance of being intentional about what we consume and how it affects our brains. The conversation covers TV shows such as Ted Lasso, Taskmaster, Loot, and Love on the Spectrum. In this part of the conversation, Paul and Nora discuss their favorite TV shows, books, and movies. They recommend shows like Love on the Spectrum, Old People's Home for Teenagers, Home, The Repair...2024-04-301h 16If We Only Knew ThenFear of FailureIn this conversation, Paul and Nora discuss the fear of failure and its causes. They explore the impact of unsupportive or perfectionist parents, associating failure with identity, feelings of unworthiness, fear of others' opinions, and shame. They highlight the importance of understanding these causes and finding ways to overcome them in order to embrace growth and take risks. The conversation explores various themes related to failure and fear of failure. It delves into topics such as shame, imposter syndrome, stepping out of the comfort zone, bringing awareness to fear of failure, viewing failure as feedback, failure as an impermanent...2024-04-231h 12If We Only Knew ThenForgivenessIn this episode, Paul and Nora discuss the process of forgiveness and the tools and concepts they have used to forgive themselves and others. They introduce the three pillars of forgiveness: mercy, compassion, and grace. They emphasize the importance of self-forgiveness and the need to let go of guilt and blame. Through personal anecdotes and insights, they explore the transformative power of forgiveness and its role in healing and personal growth. They discuss the challenges of forgiveness and the need to drop expectations and reframe transgressions. They also explore the concept of forgiving the world and the freedom it...2024-04-1458 minIf We Only Knew ThenPivotingIn this episode, Nora and Paul discuss the concept of pivoting and the importance of being adaptable in an ever-changing world. They define pivoting as switching a specific area of life or thought to align with reality and suit changing needs. They explore various examples of pivoting, including career changes, identity shifts, and emotional flexibility. The hosts also discuss the attachments that hold us back from effective pivoting, such as attachment to identity, possessions, others, outcomes, the past, and our story about reality. They emphasize the need for radical acceptance and letting go to find freedom and happiness. 2024-04-141h 10If We Only Knew ThenCynicismTo say that cynicism is pervasive in modern society is a sizeable understatement. It has so woven itself into the fabric of our society, that it has become, for many, the standard outlook on life- perhaps, without them even knowing it. A cynic’s main characteristic is the distrust of others and the view that everyone is motivated purely by self interest. Is a cynical outlook a healthy way to approach our lives? Or is there a more useful way, where we still protect ourselves from deceit, while also maintaing a more positive world view that could point us to...2024-04-1459 min