Shows
Fake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy Covert Narcissists Pick Fights Before You Go OutWhy does it feel like the covert narcissist always knows how to ruin your mood—right before a party, dinner, or important event? (For 1 on 1 online counselling in your own toxic relationship/narcissistic abuse recovery please visit my website athttps://brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au/online-counselling-services/ )If you’ve ever found yourself crying in the bathroom or cancelling plans because of a last-minute argument, this episode is for you.In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I (Nova Gibson, narcissistic abuse counsellor and author of Fake Love) unpack exactly why covert narci...
2025-06-1623 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHealing from Narcissistic Abuse: 6 Strategies That Actually Work. Part 1If you’ve escaped a relationship with a narcissist, you know the damage runs deep. From shattered self-worth to constant self-doubt, the aftermath of narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling like a shell of who you used to be.(For 1 on 1 online counselling in your own toxic relationship/narcissistic abuse recovery please visit my website athttps://brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au/online-counselling-services/ ) But healing is possible—and it starts with real, practical steps.In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, host Nova Gibson—lead trauma-informed counsellor and author of Fake Love—shares
2025-06-1016 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys5 Mind Games Covert Narcissists PlayCovert narcissists are experts at mind games, hiding behind a facade of charm, vulnerability, or self-pity. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I’m revealing the five most insidious tactics covert narcissists use—because once you spot them, you can take your power back.Unlike overt narcissists, who are loud and obvious, covert narcissists manipulate in subtle, sneaky ways. They use gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional draining to keep you off-balance without raising their voices. One minute, they seem like the perfect partner, friend, or colleague, and the next, you're questioning your own reality. Sound fami...
2025-02-1822 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysLove-Bombing to Discard: The Narcissist’s Playbook in all relationships"Narcissists have a playbook, and it’s designed to break you."In narcissistic relationships, a chillingly predictable cycle plays out. First, the narcissist sweeps their target off their feet with overwhelming love, affection, and attention—this is known as love-bombing. But just as quickly as they idolised their partner, they begin to devalue them, leading to the inevitable and devastating discard. This cycle leaves victims confused, heartbroken, and questioning their reality.If you’ve ever been through this whirlwind of affection followed by cruelty, you're not alone. In this episode, I break down the manipulative narcis...
2025-02-1726 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe Narcissist's Silent Treatment: Emotional Abuse that destroys you!"The silent treatment isn’t just being ignored; it’s psychological warfare."If you've ever been ignored by a narcissist, you know the devastating power of the silent treatment. It’s not just emotional neglect—it’s psychological torture. It makes you feel invisible, worthless, and desperate for validation. This passive-aggressive mind game is designed to punish and control you, and it’s one of the most emotionally painful tactics narcissists use to keep you under their thumb.In this episode, we dive deep into why narcissists use the silent treatment, how it affects your mental healt...
2025-02-1117 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissistic Gaslighting: The Dog Whistle"A dog whistle is silent to everyone else, but deafening to its target."Ever had that moment where a narcissist says something that seems harmless to everyone else, but you know it’s a deliberate dig aimed just at you? That’s the narcissistic dog whistle in action— a manipulative tactic designed to control, confuse, and undermine you while keeping their hands clean.In this episode, we dive deep into how narcissists use coded language to gaslight, intimidate, and provoke their targets—all while making sure no one else notices. These remarks may seem harmless or even...
2025-02-0918 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysGoing No Contact with Narcissists vs Grey Rock: Which Strategy is Right for You?No Contact from a toxic relationship is not just a strategy, it’s a declaration of self-respect.Going No Contact or using the Grey Rock method—which strategy is right for you? Narcissistic abuse survivors often face the dilemma of which tactic to use when cutting ties with a narcissist. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I break down both strategies, explaining when and how to use them effectively.No Contact means cutting the narcissist completely out of your life—no texts, no calls, no social media. It’s often the best way to h...
2025-02-0341 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissistic Abuse: How to Spot the Red Flags You MissedThe first step to healing from Narcissistic Abuse is recognising the red flags you missed.Have you ever looked back on a toxic relationship and wondered, "How did I not see this coming?" You're not alone. Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and their conditioning keeps you second-guessing yourself at every turn. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we’re unpacking why you missed the red flags—and why it’s not your fault.Narcissists don’t just walk into your life and show their true colours. They carefully groom you through love-bombing, gaslight...
2025-01-3021 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow Narcissistic Mothers Damage Your Adult Relationships and Mental Health"She made you doubt yourself—now you're doing it in every relationship."If you grew up with a narcissistic mother, that emotional abuse didn’t just stay in childhood—it follows you into adulthood, sabotaging how you love, trust, and relate to others.In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we break down how narcissistic parenting creates lasting trauma, including people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, low self-worth, and attracting toxic partners."You weren’t difficult. You were conditioned to survive."Through real stories from my counselling sessions, I explain the hidden ways narcissi...
2025-01-2928 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys5 Reasons Narcissists NEVER Give You Closure.Narcissists don’t forget to give you closure—they refuse to.If you’ve ever been stuck waiting for closure from a narcissist, you’re not alone. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we explore why narcissists never give closure—and how this is one of their most damaging narcissistic abuse tactics."Their silence is a weapon, not a mistake."Whether you're dealing with gaslighting, emotional abuse, or the endless cycle of toxic relationships, narcissists use a lack of closure to keep control. I’ll share 5 calculated reasons they withhold it—from avoiding accou...
2025-01-2729 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissistic Abuse is "No Ordinary Love" - With Tracy RectorThis isn’t just heartbreak—it’s psychological warfare."In this powerful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I’m joined by Tracy Rector—award-winning film producer, speaker, author, and domestic violence survivor. Tracy shares her journey of healing from narcissistic abuse and how it inspired the critically acclaimed film No Ordinary Love, named one of USA Today’s “biggest summer movies” of 2021.Tracy opens up about the devastating emotional and psychological impact of coercive control, gaslighting, and emotional abuse, and how survivors can find strength, justice, and their voice again. From her experience as board chair for...
2025-01-191h 14Fake Love and Flying MonkeysTop 20 Lies Narcissists Smear you With - Part 2"The narcissist’s version of you isn’t real—it’s a weapon."In the final episode of this powerful two-part series on Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we dig even deeper into the dark world of narcissist smear campaigns. You’ll hear more of the top 20 lies narcissists use to destroy your reputation, isolate you, and maintain control."They don’t just twist the truth—they set it on fire."From exaggerations to outright fabrications, narcissists weaponise your story to protect their fragile ego and ensure they remain the “victim” in everyone else’s eyes. These smear ta...
2025-01-1431 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysTop 20 Lies Narcissists Smear you With - Part 1"The narcissist’s lies aren’t random—they’re strategic character assassination."In Part 1 of this explosive two-part series on Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I reveal the top 20 smear campaign lies narcissists use to destroy your reputation and play the victim. These manipulative tactics are designed to make you look unstable, abusive, or untrustworthy—while they gain sympathy and control.They lie to ruin your credibility, not just your confidence.Whether you’re dealing with a narcissistic ex, parent, friend, or colleague, this episode exposes the specific narcissist smear tactics used to damage your relationship...
2025-01-1318 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysUnderstanding Narcissism in Manufactured Conflict"Conflict isn’t chaos to the narcissist—it’s control."In this revealing episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we dive deep into the narcissist’s obsession with manufactured conflict. Ever feel like you're walking on eggshells? Narcissists thrive on drama—and it’s no accident.They don’t want peace—they want power.From twisting your words to fabricating stories, narcissists use conflict as a tool of emotional abuse and manipulation. We’ll unpack the psychology behind this toxic pattern, explore how it plays out in relationships, and explain why narcissists seem to need chaos to func...
2025-01-0826 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys10 Behaviours of the Ageing Narcissist."They don’t mellow with age—they just master new ways to manipulate."In this insightful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we explore the 10 key behaviours of the ageing narcissist—from guilt-tripping to rewriting history, and everything in between."Age doesn’t soften narcissism—it sharpens the need for control."As narcissists grow older, their usual tools—like charm and intimidation—may lose their power. What takes their place? Increased emotional manipulation, health-based guilt tactics, and a desperate scramble for relevance.Their fear of being forgotten fuels their most toxic behaviours.I’ll share...
2025-01-0719 min
Fake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do You Set Boundaries After Narcissistic Abuse?How do You Set Boundaries After Narcissistic Abuse?If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How can I start setting boundaries after everything I’ve been through?” this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys is exactly what you need. Boundaries are essential for healing after narcissistic abuse, but they can feel like unfamiliar territory when you’ve spent so much time walking on eggshells or putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own.In today’s episode, we’ll break down what boundaries really are (hint: they’re not about being selfish, despite what a narcissist might...
2025-01-0622 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys20 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Tips for 2025 – Happy New Year!20 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Tips for 2025 – Happy New Year!Welcome to a brand-new year and a fresh chapter in your healing journey! In this empowering episode I share 20 transformative tips to help you recover from narcissistic abuse in 2025. Whether you’ve just left a toxic relationship or are deep in the healing process, these practical strategies will inspire hope and give you the tools you need to thrive.From setting boundaries that stick, to breaking free from trauma bonds, I explain how to prioritise your well-being, rebuild your self-esteem, and create a brighter future. This...
2024-12-3120 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysYour first Christmas No Contact with the Narcissist.This isn’t just about surviving this Christmas —it's about reclaiming your peace and setting boundaries that protect you. In this episode, we dive deep into the emotional rollercoaster of going no contact with a narcissistic family or partner for the first time during Christmas. The first Christmas of no contact can produce a myriad of emotions, from sadness to anger to relief and peace. You might be feeling torn, perhaps wondering if you've made the right choice around no-contact and battling feelings of guilt. Maybe you have others (Flying Monkeys) telling you to "be the bi...
2024-12-2234 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys"Wolf of Wall Street"s ex wife Dr Nadine Macaluso, shares her story. "Wolf of Wall Street"s ex wife Dr Nadine Macaluso, shares her story.In this episode I speak with the inspirational Dr. Nadine Macaluso, known to her patients as Dr. Nae. Dr Nae is the real-life inspiration behind Naomi Belfort's character in "The Wolf of Wall Street." She survived a turbulent eight-year marriage to Jordan Belfort, marked by abuse, greed, and trauma.Following her experiences, Dr. Macaluso relocated to California. Her journey of trauma and healing inspired her to return to school at age 39, where she earned her Master's in counseling and a Ph.D. in so...
2024-12-2046 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe Female Narcissist Abuse StrategiesIf you have a female narcissist in your life or you know someone who does, then you don't want to miss this episode!In this episode, I talk about the female narcissist and the toxic abuse strategies she uses. Narcissistic abuse is not gender specific, and female narcissists (Mothers, Friends, Colleagues and Bosses) can be just as destructive as their male counterparts.Female narcissists and male narcissists share core traits like a lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, a need for control, and an insatiable need for attention. However, female abusers can often be m...
2024-12-1833 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHealing From Narcissistic Abuse - The Benefits of Journaling with Amanda SternIn this episode, I'm joined by Amanda Stern. Amanda provides amazing insights into healing from narcissistic abuse through journaling. She empowers her clients and community to embrace journaling as a path to self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-love so they can own their worth, find success on their own terms, and write their way to a life they love.We discuss how journaling helps you process those confusing and painful emotions, gain clarity, and rebuild your self-esteem after being entangled in a toxic relationship. Amanda shares practical tips on getting started, even if you’ve never journaled before, and how to...
2024-12-1153 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysDoes the Narcissist Make You Feel Crazy Intentionally?Have you ever felt like you’re losing your mind when dealing with a narcissist? Like no matter what you say or do, somehow, you’re the one who’s “too sensitive” or “overreacting”? In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I discuss one of the most common—and maddening—questions victims of narcissistic abuse ask: Are they doing this on purpose? Spoiler alert: Yes, they are.I’ll break down the sneaky, calculated tactics narcissists use to make you feel like you’re losing your mind using tactics like gaslighting, projection, deflection and word salad. But most importa...
2024-12-1022 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysIs it Narcissism, ADHD, or something else my Abuser has?What’s driving your abuser’s behaviour?" Is it narcissism? Could it be ADHD? Or maybe it’s something else entirely? And does putting a label on it even matter when the abuse keeps happening?In this episode, I tackle these questions many victims of abuse find themselves grappling with.I talk about the differences and similarities between narcissistic traits and other conditions like ADHD, explaining how these behaviours can sometimes overlap. I break down why this mindset can be both understandable and harmful. I discuss how abusers often use mental health labels as a shield...
2024-12-0930 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do you survive Christmas with a narcissist?The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, love, and togetherness, but what happens when a narcissist is part of the family? In this eye-opening episode, we dive into the chaos a narcissistic family member can bring to your Christmas celebrations. From subtle manipulations to outright control tactics, narcissists have a knack for making everything about them—and ruining the holiday spirit for everyone else.We’ll explore the common games narcissists play during festive gatherings: creating drama, triangulating family members, pulling surprise stunts, and turning the spotlight on themselves. If you’ve ever dr...
2024-12-0831 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do Narcissists get to be the Victim? - DARVO DEMYSTIFIEDDARVO is an insidious tactic narcissists use to flip the script and play the victim. DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, is a manipulative strategy that leaves victims feeling confused, powerless, and silenced. But what exactly is DARVO, and how can you spot it in real-time?In this Episode, we unpack:The tell-tale signs of DARVO in actionWhy narcissists rely on playing the victim to manipulate and control such as....Romantic Relationships. You confront a narcissistic partner about their infidelity. Instead of addressing the betrayal, they...
2024-12-0322 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do Narcissists use Triangulation to Pit People against each other?Have you ever found yourself caught in the middle of someone else's drama, unsure how you ended up there? That’s triangulation at play. Narcissists thrive on turning people against each other to maintain power, sow confusion, and deflect attention from their behaviour. Whether it’s in families, friendships, workplaces, or romantic relationships, this tactic can leave victims feeling isolated, confused, and doubting their own perceptions.In this episode I unpack exactly how narcissists use triangulation to manipulate, breaking down:The subtle ways they pit people against each other.How they create competition, jeal...
2024-12-0227 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do You Survive Post Separation Abuse? - with Sybil CumminLeaving a narcissist should mean freedom, right? Unfortunately, for many, it’s just the start of another battle - the cruel and calculated ways narcissists try to maintain control long after the relationship ends, also known as POST SEPARATION ABUSE. In this episode I'm joined by Sybil Cummin, who provides her incredible insights and expertise around the issue of Post Separation Abuse. Sybil is a Licensed Professional Counselor who has specialized in working with victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence for the last decade, including the child victims in these families. She owns a smal...
2024-11-2651 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys4 ways Covert Narcissists destroy your HappinessWhile their methods may seem less obvious than those of the overt narcissist, covert narcissists are just as destructive. They operate behind a mask of humility, kindness, or even victimhood, all while strategically eroding any joy in your life. In this eye-opening episode, I take you on a deep dive into the subtle yet devastating tactics that covert narcissists use to chip away at your happiness. I explore four key ways covert narcissists manipulate and harm, including emotional gaslighting, silent sabotage, and the insidious guilt trips they use to stifle your happiness and realise your wo...
2024-11-2418 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys5 Ways to Shut Narcissists Down!Tired of constantly being pulled into arguments and mind games with a narcissist? In this must-listen episode, I unpack five ways to shut down a narcissist and protect your peace.I explore the psychology behind the narcissist’s need for validation and why your refusal to play their game is the ultimate win.It’s time to stop falling into the traps of justifying, arguing, defending, and explaining (aka JADE-ing) yourself to someone who thrives on control and chaos. I explain why these behaviours backfire when dealing with a narcissist and how they exploit your need to clar...
2024-11-2235 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysBeating Narcissists in Court- The Golden Rules! with Courtney BartonIf you're facing a narcissist in your life, whether it's during a breakup, divorce, custody battle, or even in a work-related dispute, one thing is clear—you need a lawyer. Narcissists are experts at manipulation, twisting the truth, and using the legal system as a weapon to control or punish you. In this episode, Courtney explains why getting legal support is not just a good idea but a necessary step to protect you.You’ll learn practical tips for finding the right attorney, what to expect during the process, and how having legal representation can help you stay...
2024-11-211h 05Fake Love and Flying MonkeysUnderstanding Narcissistic Future FakingIn the beginning, the narcissist will sweep you away by painting a dazzling picture of your future together—talks of marriage, kids, dream holidays, or maybe that forever home. But then, as time goes on, none of it ever materialises. That’s future faking, a manipulative tactic narcissists use to hook you emotionally while avoiding any real commitment.In this episode, I explain how future faking works and why it’s such a powerful tool in the narcissist’s playbook. By dangling a "perfect future" just out of reach, they keep you invested and distracted while their behaviour...
2024-11-1937 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys15 signs of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome If you’ve ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells, questioning your own reality, or stuck in a cycle of self-blame and shame after dealing with a narcissist, this episode is for you.In this episode, I dive deep into the lesser-talked-about but incredibly important topic of NVS - Narcissistic Victim Syndrome.I unpack 15 key signs that indicate you might be experiencing Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. From chronic self-doubt and emotional exhaustion to feeling isolated and self-sabotage, I explain each sign in detail and offer insight into why this happens and how it can impact your...
2024-11-1842 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys5 things Narcissists Fear the Most!Despite their outward confidence and need for control, narcissists are often deeply afraid of specific things that threaten their carefully crafted personas. In this episode, I pull back the curtain on the hidden fears that narcissists don’t want you to know about. I discuss why "exposure" terrifies the narcissist. I also explore their intense fear of "being alone." Don’t miss this episode—it could change how you understand the narcissist in your life!Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple wa...
2024-11-1431 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do you know if it’s Narcissistic Abuse?Recognising narcissistic abuse can be confusing, especially when manipulative behaviours are masked by charm, seemingly innocent comments, or even grand gestures. Many survivors find themselves questioning their own reality, blaming themselves, or wondering if they’re simply "too sensitive".Whether you suspect you're experiencing narcissistic abuse or are simply looking to understand these behaviours better, this episode offers invaluable insight and guidance around how to interpret the toxic behaviours of others.In this episode I dive deep into one of the most challenging questions facing victims and survivors of emotional abuse: "How do you know if it...
2024-11-1221 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys6 Physical Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse That Destroy your Health. Narcissistic abuse doesn’t just affect your mental state; it can lead to serious physical ailments. From constant fatigue to digestive issues, this type of abuse manifests in ways that are often overlooked, leaving victims feeling worn out, both mentally and physically.We’ll explore each of these symptoms, breaking down why they happen, how narcissistic relationships can trigger them, and what you can do to begin healing. This episode will help you identify if any of these symptoms resonate with your experience and give you a compassionate look at why healing requires focusing on both body and mind...
2024-11-1037 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNo Contact with a Narcissist means cutting ties with their Family too.Cutting ties with a narcissistic partner, parent or friend is difficult enough, but then you have to think of those shared connections—their family members, mutual friends, and even those who may act as "flying monkeys" to gather information or sway your decisions. "No contact" with a narcissist includes distancing yourself from their family and friends as well. In this episode, i unpack why it’s essential to set boundaries not only with the narcissist but also with anyone in their circle who might enable their behaviour. I discuss the layers of manipulation that can exist within f...
2024-11-0727 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysScapegoat Child vs Golden Child: How These Toxic Family Roles Impact AdulthoodIf you grew up feeling like the "black sheep" of the family, constantly blamed or criticised, or if you were always the “favoured” one, given praise and special treatment, you may have lived these roles. I look at how these dynamics affect relationships, career paths, self-esteem, and overall mental well-being as an adult.In this episode, I dive deep into the family roles of the scapegoat child and the golden child—two powerful, often toxic dynamics that can shape a person’s life well into adulthood. I break down how the narcissistic parent or dysfunctional family system us...
2024-11-0433 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysI left my husband for a narcissist- this is whyIn this episode, we dive into the complex story of leaving a relationship after being swept off your feet and seduced by someone who knew exactly how to exploit you. We explore how the predatory narcissist can appear as a saviour when you're vulnerable, you’re at a low point, using charm, attentiveness, and validation to pull you in. Yet behind this facade lies manipulation, gaslighting, and control. Join us as we unpack this journey, from the initial excitement to the painful realisations that come with recognising narcissistic abuse. Whether you’re navigating a similar experience or want to unde...
2024-11-0131 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysDoes the Narcissist ever Miss you?Do you ever find yourself thinking, “Do they miss me?” even after all the hurt they’ve caused? It’s a question so many survivors of narcissistic abuse struggle with — and it can feel impossible to shake. In this episode, I'm diving into why you might still be thinking about them and what’s really behind that nagging question, “Do they miss me?”I’ll break down why it’s so common to have these lingering thoughts, especially after dealing with a narcissist. From trauma bonds to the need for closure, these feelings often go way deeper than you realise. Pl...
2024-10-3018 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do you Survive a Narcissistic Relationship?Coping mechanisms like minimizing and denial often develop as a way to survive the narcissistic abuse. In this episode, we're unpacking some of the most complex coping mechanisms people develop when they’re stuck in a narcissistic relationship: rationalising the abuser’s behaviour, blaming themselves, and defending the narcissist. constant chaos. These survival techniques are incredibly common but often misunderstood, leaving many people feeling confused, stuck, and isolated.I dive deep into why these behaviours develop, how they protect us in the short term, and why they can ultimately hold us back from true healing. Understanding why the...
2024-10-2942 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys10 things Narcissists say and their true meaningNarcissists have a way of twisting words to make you doubt yourself, and in this episode, we break down those common phrases they use and reveal the hidden intentions behind them. In this episode, "10 Things Narcissists Say vs What They Really Mean," we dive into the confusing, manipulative language narcissists often use to control and distort reality. You’ve likely heard things like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “I never said that,” but what do these statements really mean? Why do narcissists say them? From the manipulative backhanded compliments to gaslighting remarks, we’re decoding their words to help you und...
2024-10-2322 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissistic Abuse: When the Narcissist Drives RecklesslyHave you ever found yourself in the passenger seat with someone driving aggressively, not for fun but to make you feel scared or helpless? In this episode, I shed light on a terrifying but often overlooked tactic that narcissists use to dominate and terrorise their victims: Reckless driving. This is no accident—it’s a deliberate form of control that narcissists use to assert dominance and make you feel powerless. I unpack this dangerous behaviour, explaining how it fits into their broader manipulative patterns. If you've ever felt trapped behind the wheel with a narcissist, this episode is a mus...
2024-10-2234 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysVictims of Narcissistic: Where Can they find help?More victims are realising they’re with a Covert Narcissist. It's just a buzzword to many, but for the victims, it's a devastating, often very covert form of abuse that destroys their lives, and there is little support and understanding for them. So what’s driving this surge in narcissistic talk on social media? In this episode, I dive into why narcissistic abuse is all over social media and what’s behind its sudden rise. From viral videos to trending hashtags, discussions about narcissists are everywhere. Join us as we break down why the topic of narcissistic abuse has...
2024-10-2129 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe Stalking Epidemic: How do we Protect Victims? With Chris Daw KCIn this episode, I speak with Chris Daw KC who provides incredible insights and discussion around stalking behaviours, the impact to victims and the resources needed to protect victims and address future stalking behaviour. Stalking is one of the most alarming and pervasive issues affecting countless lives today. Stalking is not just about unwanted attention; it’s a serious and sometimes life-threatening behavior that leaves victims feeling trapped, isolated, and terrified. Whether it happens in person or online, stalking is a form of abuse that often gets overlooked or minimized, but its impact can be devastating. So, how do we...
2024-10-201h 12Fake Love and Flying MonkeysThe Stalking Epidemic: How do we Protect Victims? With Chris Daw KCThe Stalking Epidemic: How do we Protect Victims? With Chris Daw KCIn this episode, I speak with Chris Daw KC who provides incredible insights and discussion around stalking behaviours, the impact to victims and the resources needed to protect victims and address future stalking behaviour. Stalking is one of the most alarming and pervasive issues affecting countless lives today. Stalking is not just about unwanted attention; it’s a serious and sometimes life-threatening behavior that leaves victims feeling trapped, isolated, and terrified. Whether it happens in person or online, stalking is a form of abuse that of...
2024-10-201h 12Fake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy does Narcissistic Abuse get worse each time you go back?Narcissists thrive on control, and each time you come back, they feel like they’ve won—so they push the boundaries even further. In this episode, we dive into why narcissists become more abusive each time you go back. I explain how the cycle of love-bombing, gaslighting, and control escalates with every return. We’ll talk about why narcissists push boundaries even further, how emotional abuse intensifies, and why it becomes harder to break free. We’ll explore the emotional rollercoaster they put you through, why they up the ante with every reunion, and how their behaviour becomes more inte...
2024-10-1616 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys10 ways the Narcissist gets you to react!From subtle guilt trips to full-blown gaslighting, we unpack the common strategies narcissists use to provoke you, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or even at work. In this episode, 10 Ways Narcissists Get You to React, we dive deep into the manipulative tactics narcissists use to push your buttons and get the emotional reaction they crave. You'll learn how they set up situations to make you feel off-balance, question yourself, or lash out so they can play the victim. If you’ve ever felt like you’re being baited or constantly reacting to someone’s toxic behavior, this episode will give yo...
2024-10-1543 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys5 ways the Narcissist reacts when you reveal they hurt youNarcissists thrive on power, control and manipulation, and when you try to explain your feelings, they often turn the situation around, making you feel guilty, ashamed, or even questioning your own reality In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we dive deep into a question that so many victims of narcissistic abuse wrestle with: Should you tell the narcissist how they hurt you? While it might feel like confronting the narcissist could bring you closure, clarity, or even an apology, the reality is often far more damaging. . In this episode, I explore 5 common reactions narcissists have wh...
2024-10-1427 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysIs the Narcissist the same as a Cult Leader?Narcissists thrive on power, control and manipulation, and when you try to explain your feelings, they often turn the situation around, making you feel guilty, ashamed, or even questioning your own reality In this episode we take a deep dive into the striking parallels between narcissists and cult leaders. Narcissists, much like cult leaders, create an environment where they exert extreme control, manipulating their victims into loyalty and compliance. We’ll explore how narcissists use charm, fear, and manipulation to isolate their targets, breaking down their sense of self-worth to gain complete control. We also discuss how narcissists slowly bu...
2024-10-1333 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysFamily Court allows Abusers to Manipulate the System - Evelyn HemphillIn this episode, we sit down with Evelyn, who shares her heartbreaking experience of how the Family Court system allowed her abuser to manipulate the legal process. Evelyn opens up about the emotional and legal struggles she faced, the lack of support, and how her abuser used the court to continue their control, culminating in her losing custody of her child. If you're navigating the Family Court or wondering how to protect yourself and your child from an abusive ex, this episode sheds light on the failures in the system and offers vital advice on what to watch out...
2024-10-1134 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhen the Narcissist is Nice to You: Is it Real?Narcissists often use selective kindness as a calculated tactic to keep you invested in the relationship, but these “nice” moments are usually just a way to manipulate and control. In this episode, we dive deep into why narcissists are nice to you—and it’s rarely out of genuine care. It’s important to remember that the percentage of nice times never compensates for the overwhelming bad times. In this episode, we break down how this inconsistency leads to trauma bonding and why you should never measure a relationship by the few good moments.Learn how to see through...
2024-10-0938 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys10 Cruel Tactics Narcissists use to Destroy You. From manipulation to smear campaigns, we'll break down the sneaky ways narcissists try to tear you apart.In this episode, we dive into 10 cruel tactics narcissists use to destroy you and how these toxic behaviours can leave you feeling drained and powerless. Whether you're dealing with a narcissist in a relationship, friendship, or family, this episode offers valuable insights into their damaging behaviours and how to protect yourself. Tune in for practical tips on recognising these tactics and reclaiming your power.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts l...
2024-10-0746 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysSigns you've met a covert narcissistic female - A male victim tells his storyIn this episode I explore the hidden traits of the covert narcissistic female. Our guest bravely shares his journey, detailing the emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and constant invalidation he faced, which left him doubting his reality. This episode also sheds light on how male victims often struggle to come forward due to societal expectations and the covert nature of the abuse. Through the powerful story of a man who describes his own toxic relationship with an undiagnosed narcissist, we uncover how women can subtly manipulate and control their partners without outwardly displaying typical narcissistic traits. If yo...
2024-10-0248 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe Covert Narcissist Fools everyone else - How do they do this?Covert narcissists often seem charming and harmless to outsiders, but behind closed doors, they can cause emotional turmoil for their victims. In this episode, learn how they expertly disguise their true nature, making it difficult for others to believe their victims' experiences. Listen to the practical advice I share on identifying the signs and protecting yourself from their hidden abuse. Tune in for eye-opening insights and strategies for dealing with these master manipulators.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the...
2024-10-0147 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys10 signs of emotional abuse in relationshipsEmotional abuse can be difficult to spot, especially when it's masked by manipulative tactics or disguised as "normal" relationship dynamics. In this episode I guide you through ten key signs to help you identify if you're experiencing emotional abuse and psychological abuse. From constant criticism and gaslighting to controlling behaviors and the silent treatment, I explain these toxic behaviors that impact your self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being. This episode provides valuable insights to help you navigate these challenging dynamics.Tune in, learn the signs, and find out what you can do to protect yourself fro...
2024-09-3039 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissists use SEX to control you.Narcissists Use Sex to Control YouOne of the most manipulative tools in a narcissist’s arsenal is sex. To the average person, sex is an expression of intimacy, connection, and affection. But when you’re dealing with a narcissist, sex is anything but that. For them, it’s a powerful weapon of control, manipulation, and dominance over their partner.If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ve likely experienced how they use sex as a means to trap you, maintain control, and keep you emotionally attached. It’s impor...
2024-09-2534 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy do Narcissists get married?Why would a narcissist pursue marriage when they lack empathy and struggle with genuine connection? In this revealing episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I uncover the hidden motivations behind a narcissist's desire to walk down the aisle. It’s rarely about love—marriage is a tool for control, status, and securing a long-term supply of validation.We explore how narcissists use marriage to trap their victims, often pressuring them into having children to further solidify control and create a permanent tie. Marriage, for the narcissist, isn’t just about manipulation; it's also about projecting an image...
2024-09-2441 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHealing from Narcissistic Abuse through Habit Change - with Dr Gina CleoIngrained habits can accelerate recovery from narcissistic abuse. Dr Gina, a world expert in Habit Change explains how toxic patterns often reinforce the psychological damage inflicted by a narcissist. By shifting these negative habits, survivors can regain control, foster emotional resilience, and rebuild self-worth. This episode provides actionable, research-based strategies for breaking free from trauma bonds, creating healthy routines, and establishing a mindset that supports long-term healing. Listen now for professional insights on reclaiming your identity and thriving beyond narcissistic abuse.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts...
2024-09-2341 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysResponding to Family Flying MonkeysThese enablers often act on behalf of the narcissist, spreading lies, creating tension, and making it even harder to break free from the toxic cycle. In this episode I offer practical strategies on how to respond to flying monkeys in your family, without getting caught up in the drama. Learn how to set boundaries, protect your mental health, and navigate these complex dynamics. Whether you're currently facing this or just curious about the term, this episode is packed with insights to help you heal and move forward.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has...
2024-09-2229 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissist's weird texting habitsWhen a narcissist begins to devalue you their texting habits will change dramatically. From abrupt changes in tone to love-bombing through text messages, we analyse the key patterns that make communication with a narcissist so confusing and unsettling. Learn how their erratic messaging is part of a broader manipulation strategy, and gain valuable insights into protecting your emotional well-being. Tune in for expert advice on recognising and managing a narcissist’s texting behaviour. Perfect for anyone seeking to understand and navigate the complexities of narcissistic communication.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped yo...
2024-09-1828 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys6 reasons a Narcissist can't Love their ChildrenNarcissists use their kids to boost their ego, treating them like extensions of themselves rather than individuals. From lacking empathy to always needing control, narcissistic parents don’t give the unconditional love and support children need. We’ll talk about how If you've ever wondered how a narcissist impacts their children’s emotional well-being, this episode dives into the hard truths, offering insights and tips to help make sense of it all. Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏Dis...
2024-09-1726 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe narcissist's obsession with foodNarcissists use food as another way to control and manipulate the people in their lives. The complex relationship between narcissists and food. In this episode, we explore how control, indulgence, power and manipulation often intertwine with their eating habits and yours. Tune in to learn how food becomes a weapon for dominance and what it reveals about their desire for control and their own self-gratifying, ritualistic behaviours centred around food. Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and...
2024-09-1648 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysFramed - Women in Family Court Underworld with Dr Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko.In their book "Framed - Women in the Family Court Underworld ", Dr. Christine and Amy Polacko expose the disturbing realities within the family court system. In this episode, they discuss their new book FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld which highlights the struggles of mothers facing coercive control and narcissistic abuse. Learn how abusers manipulate the system and why family court often fails to protect victims. Tune in for an eye-opening conversation that aims to inspire change and support those impacted by these injustices. Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, us...
2024-09-1444 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys5 Things a narcissist will never give you in a relationshipNarcissists keep their partners trapped in a cycle of manipulation and control. We discuss 5 crucial things you will never experience in a relationship with a narcissist in this episode. These are things that you would normally take for granted in a healthy relationship such as emotional support and genuine love. Learn how these missing elements can leave you feeling empty, confused, and stuck in a toxic cycle. Tune in as we explore recognising the signs, breaking free from the cycle, and reclaiming your self-worth. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to understand the impact of narcissistic relationships...
2024-09-1124 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy do narcissists block then unblock you?Narcissists uses blocking as a form of punishment while unblocking you re-establishes their control over you. In this episode we dive deep into why narcissists use this strategy, examining the cruel psychological games they play to keep you hooked in cycles of confusion, hope, and desperation. We also take a deep dive into how to avoid their games in the first place.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make...
2024-09-1044 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysUnderstanding Betrayal Trauma in Narcissistic AbuseBetrayal trauma can be excruciating for those involved in abusive relationships with narcissists, leaving them struggling to rebuild trust. In this insightful episode, we dive deep into the concept of betrayal trauma within the context of narcissistic abuse. We unpack the emotional toll this hidden form of trauma takes on survivors. We also look at the narcissist's strategies that ensure their betrayals inflict maximum pain to their victim.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏Disclaimer: This pos...
2024-09-0819 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhen a narcissist turns your family against you.Dealing with a narcissist who turns your family against you can feel isolating and devastating. In this eye-opening episode, we explore the heartbreaking reality of when a narcissist turns your family against you. In this episode, we explore how narcissists use manipulation, smear campaigns, and gaslighting to create a wedge between you and your loved ones, common tactics used by narcissists to manipulate and divide families. Learn how these calculated moves isolate victims, erode familial bonds, and leave you feeling betrayed by your family.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using...
2024-09-0619 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissism and Coercive Control with Dr Christine Cocchiola Dr Christine is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher & Survivor. In this episode, I speak with Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW. She is a college professor teaching social work for the last 20 years and a social justice advocate for a local domestic violence agency, since the age of 19. Her expertise is in the areas of coercive control and the traumatic experiences of adult and child victims, diligently supporting these vulnerable populations. Dr. C., a Founding Member of the International Coercive Control Conference and a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported codifying coercive control, writing nu...
2024-09-0349 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhen the narcissist says "I love you" - what do they really mean?While "I love you" may seem genuine, narcissists often use these words as a tool for control and manipulation. In this episode, we unpack the hidden meaning behind the phrase "I love you" when spoken by a narcissist. We'll explore how their version of love differs from healthy relationships, and why these declarations often come with strings attached. Learn to identify the red flags and protect yourself from emotional manipulation, as we delve into the true intentions behind a narcissist's "I love you." Tune in to gain clarity and reclaim your emotional well-being. Support the Show on Apple Po...
2024-09-0222 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys10 Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Manipulate you with.Gaslighting makes you feel crazy! In this episode, we explore 10 Gaslighting Phrases the narcissist manipulates you with, shedding light on the subtle and damaging tactics used to distort your reality. These manipulative phrases are designed to control, confuse, and erode your self-esteem. In this episode we explore...* text book gaslighting phrases used by all narcissists.* Why Gaslighting makes you feel crazy!* how narcissists use these gaslighting lines and phrases to maintain control, keep you questioning yourself, and make you feel powerless.* How to recognise these harmful phrases and protect yourself from emotional abuse.
2024-08-3118 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysGoing no contact with the narcissist.Whether you're just considering going no contact or are already in the process, this episode offers valuable insights, validation, and support on your journey to recovery from narcissistic relationships. In this episode, I explore the life-changing decision of going no contact with a narcissist and why it's a crucial step for healing. When survivors maintain any form of contact with a narcissist, whether direct or indirect, it can have devastating effects on their emotional and psychological well-being.Learn how to overcome the challenges of cutting ties with a narcissist, set healthy boundaries, and protect your e...
2024-08-2824 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNarcissistic Abuse awareness - Vanessa ReiserVanessa is best known for running in a wedding dress, the state of New York (285 miles in 11 days), to raise awareness for narcissistic abuse. Vanessa M. Reiser is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), licensed in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Florida. She is a psychotherapist and the founder of Tell a Therapist, LLC as well as the founder of the nonprofit, Tell a Therapist, INC. She is also the Author of - "Narcissistic Abuse: A Therapist's Guide to Identifying, Escaping, and Healing from Toxic and Manipulative People" Vanessa specializes in narcissistic personality disorder, an...
2024-08-2740 minFake Love and Flying Monkeys5 ways the covert narcissist blameshiftsNarcissists expertly avoid accountability and deflect blame, while making you question your own reality. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we dive deep into the narcissist's favourite tactic—blame shifting. We'll explore how narcissists twist the truth to keep control, leaving victims trapped in self-doubt and confusion. Learn the key signs of blame shifting, understand why it's such a powerful tool in narcissistic abuse, and get practical tips to protect yourself from their toxic manipulation. Reclaim your power and stop the cycle of emotional abuse today! In this episode we discuss the following narcissistic bl...
2024-08-2555 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy do narcissists ruin special occasions? Whether it’s Christmas, your birthday, or a long-anticipated holiday, you can almost guarantee that a narcissist will find a way to ruin it. One of the most common tactics that narcissists use to maintain control is to sabotage any event that brings you joy. This pattern of behaviour is not accidental—it’s part of a deliberate strategy to manipulate, control, and undermine you. But why do narcissists do this?In this episode we unpack.....*the narcissist's agenda in ruining special occasion *Narcissism traits such as envy when you...
2024-08-2413 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe Narcissistic Mother daughter relationship.The daughter of a narcissistic mother spends their whole life trying to please a toxic parent, who can't or won't love them unconditionally. To a narcissistic mother, their daughter represents a threat to their grandiose view of themselves. They hang in there however, thinking one day, ONE DAY, their mother will change. They feel a sense of duty and obligation to keep trying to love a toxic parent who will never love them back.In this episode we unpack...* How narcissistic mothers view their daughter.* The competitive nature of the narcissistic mother's feelings towards her daug...
2024-08-2239 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy do Narcissists Go Back to their ex?Narcissists love to keep as many exes as they can waiting in the wings so they can recycle them. But why do they do this? Why do they want to keep someone around whom they professed to hate so much? If you have been abused by a narcissist in the past then it's really important to understand the how and why narcissists recycle their ex-victims so you can protect yourself, and this episode will help you to do just that.In this episode we unpack...* Why the narcissist discards their victim and comes back w...
2024-08-2120 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysSurviving workplace narcissists and psychopaths - with David Gillespie, Australian Lawyer and best selling AuthorA narcissistic boss or colleague, workplace bullying and covert measures of abuse make your life hell when you have to see them every day! What do you when this is your job, you can't leave, and you spend more time with these people than you do with your family?In this fascinating episode I talk with David Gillespie, the Author of 'Toxic at Work - Surviving Your Psychopathic Workmates from the Dominant Boss to the Charming Manipulators', to answer this question.Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fake Love has helped you, using this Ap...
2024-08-201h 28Fake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do you tell if someone is a narcissist?Spotting a narcissist isn't as straightforward as we'd like—it’s not like they wear a sign that says "Stay Away!" The overuse of the word "narcissist" in society often dilutes the experiences of true victims, making it harder to recognize genuine narcissistic abuse. The emotional scars left by these toxic individuals are profound, and the mere thought of encountering another narcissist can be terrifying. So how do you tell if the person in front of you is someone you can take at face value or if they're someone who is manipulating you? When you have been in a relati...
2024-08-1940 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysShould you go to counselling with the narcissist?The narcissist always has an agenda when they attend counselling with you.That agenda NEVER involves fixing themselves or repairing the relationship with the person they love. The narcissist's agenda is always self-serving. In this episode, we unpack....*Will counselling with a professional make the narcissist accountable?*Will a therapist always be able to see through the narcissist's manipulation?*What happens when the narcissist chooses the therapist?*Is it different if the narcissist suggests therapy?*What happens if a therapist confronts the narcissist?And much more! Support the Show on...
2024-08-1621 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysNo contact with the Narcissist's Flying MonkeysNarcissists use "flying monkeys" to get to you when they can't. These individuals, whether aware of it or not, are manipulated to do the narcissist's bidding. But are all flying monkeys toxic? In this blog, we’ll explore what flying monkeys are, how they function in narcissistic dynamics, and how to protect yourself from their influence.In this episode we unpack...*Are all flying Monkeys toxic?*Should you go no contact with the narcissist's Flying Monkeys?*Why does the narcissist need Flying Monkeys?*How does the narcissist use Flying Monkeys to abuse you?
2024-08-1519 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe narcissist doesn't care if you have evidence!A victim finds evidence of the narcissist's lies and betrayals and confronts them. It is natural they would feel a sense of vindication. But what ACTUALLY happens when you confront the narcissist with your evidence? Find out in this episode!In this episode, we discuss....* How does the narcissist react to your proof?* Will your evidence result in accountability?* Will they continue to deny when they know you know?* Is it worth presenting the evidence you have to the narcissist?And much more!Support the Show on Apple PodcastsIf Fa...
2024-08-1315 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysHow do you cut ties with a toxic Parent?Going no contact with a narcissistic, toxic parent is difficult. It takes time to understand this parent is never going to change and that you have the right to stop the abuse. The fear, obligation and guilt the narcissistic parent instils in their adult child keeps their child stuck in the abusive environment, where they can never pay off the debt for being born.In this episode I speak with Dr Sherrie Campbell, a TED speaker, and world expert on toxic families, who provides incredible insights and practical strategies to escape, and heal from this familial abuse.
2024-08-121h 10Fake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy does the narcissist come back? - The Hoover manoeuvre explainedNarcissists have a way of reappearing in your life, often when you least expect it. After enduring the pain and chaos of narcissistic abuse, it's natural to ask yourself, "Why do they come back?" The narcissist will 'hoover' you back to regain control of you and to make sure you never forget about them. (Hoover meaning to suck you back, the term being coined from the Hoover vacuum cleaner)Whether it's a sudden phone call, an unexpected visit, or a chance encounter at the grocery store, the narcissist's return can be bewildering, especially when they seemed so eager...
2024-08-1143 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysGoing to Court with a narcissist? - With special guest Karin WalkerIt is so important to get the right lawyer when you are dealing with a narcissist. In this episode I speak with Karin Walker. Karin is an award winning lawyer who understands the narcissistic abuse cycle and her expertise in representing victims has also culminated in her being the author of several books that provide invaluable information around navigating court with a narcissist. Karin's advice in this episode will be invaluable for narcissistic abuse victims who are being litigated by their manipulative abuser who uses the family court system to extend the domestic violence. In t...
2024-08-061h 05Fake Love and Flying MonkeysChildren of Narcissists - How do they break free from the feelings of obligation and guilt?The Narcissist will cause chaos in the relationships of their children to bring the focus back on to them. The narcissist experiences feelings of envy, abandonment and subsequent anger toward their child and will sabotage the relationships of their adult children. They need the unlimited source of attention from their adult child, and it is a betrayal when their child is in a relationship that makes them happy. In this episode we unpack...* The obligation and guilt the adult child feels to continue to tolerate the abuse* The pressure from outsiders to continue to tol...
2024-08-0517 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWill a Narcissist treat the next person better?After everything the narcissist put you through, seeing them seemingly happier, more affectionate, or even more committed to someone else can feel like a dagger to the heart. One of the most painful and confusing questions survivors of narcissistic abuse often ask is: “Will the narcissist treat the next person better?” And it’s no wonder — In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I break down the truth behind the narcissist’s new relationship and explain why things may look different on the surface, but the cycle of abuse remains the same underneath. We explore...
2024-08-0439 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysReporting Your Abuse to the Police - With Police Detective Brandon WootanAn understanding of coercive Control, domestic violence, and narcissistic abuse are not issues that the average person associates with police. Historically, discrimination, racism, and domestic violence stereotypes suggest the police 'have no idea' and take the situation in front of their domestic violence call out, for what it seems.In this episode I discuss with Detective Police Officer Brandon Wootan the gaps in helping victims of domestic violence, not only with the first call from the victim, but an understanding, empathic response that validates the victim’s trauma and helps them to realise a better and more wor...
2024-08-0157 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWhy do Narcissists Devalue you?The Narcissist will destroy all that is good about you because all of those amazing traits and qualities make them feel bad about themselves. Once the narcissist has hooked you in, the devaluation stage must and will begin. They devalue you to punish you for being 'better' than them in any way, and to bring you under their control.In this episode we unpack....* Why does the narcissist devalue you?* The strategies they use to devalue you that you don't recognise at the time.* What devaluing strategies does the narcissist use? Eg. Isolation, Gas...
2024-07-3051 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysCan anyone become a victim of narcissistic abuse?A Counselor reveals her own experience with narcissistic abusers. Mental health professionals are not immune to the powerful trauma bond and the manipulative tactics of the narcissist. In this episode I talk to Barb. She bravely talks about the trauma she endured and how she used her own trauma to support other victims. Barb is clearly a counselor who 'gets it'. I hope you feel validated listening to Barb's story knowing that there are therapists out there who can help you, because they have been there. 🎧 Tune in now and learn how to stop t...
2024-07-241h 02Fake Love and Flying MonkeysLGBTQUIA Domestic Violence - A victim tells his story.In the LGBTQ+ community, victims of narcissistic abuse/domestic violence do not have the same support as victims of domestic violence in a heterosexual relationship .David, a young gay man tells his story, revealing the trauma he suffered as a victim of narcissistic abuse. He also offers much needed insights into the lack of trust the lgbtqia+ community has in a system that has not protected them in the past, which prevents them coming forward to report their abuse. David also gives valuable advice around how we actually CAN support victims of domestic violence and nar...
2024-07-2354 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysShould you tell the narcissist they're a narcissist?What if you have proof they're a narcissist? You've done the research, and they tick all the boxes and appear to have at least 5 of the 9 traits for narcissistic personality disorder, and you want to tell them you know! Narcissists don't usually take kindly to criticism as we know, and In this episode, we look at what happens when you tell the narcissist you're on to them. Let me know in the reviews if you enjoyed this episode and what happened when you told the narcissist YOU were on to them!Nova xxIf you f...
2024-07-1913 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysIs Co-parenting with a Narcissist Possible?The narcissistic sees any attempt to discuss the children's needs as something that will benefit YOU. The challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist are immense. Co-parenting can be difficult and requires work when there are two non-disordered parents trying to establish a new life for themselves and their children. Throw a narcissist in the mix and all bets are off. In this episode we unpack...* Manipulative tactics of the narcissist to sabotage your plans* The challenges in trying to communicate with the narcissist about the children's needs.* Child support arrangements.* The narcissist we...
2024-07-1637 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysA Survivor's story from narcissistic abuse - trigger warningIn this powerful episode, we share the story of "Marie," a courageous survivor of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. Despite fearing her abuser and choosing to remain anonymous, Marie bravely recounts her journey from trauma to recovery. She sheds light on the challenges she faces within the United States' family court system, highlighting how it often remains ill-informed about personality disorders. Marie's experience reveals the harsh reality where victims are punished twice and abusers exploit the legal system to continue their abuse. Join us as we delve into her story of resilience and strength, providing a voice for those...
2024-07-101h 21Fake Love and Flying MonkeysIs gaslighting abuse? - An examination of the narcissist's no.1 weapon to make you feel crazy.Gaslighting is used by the narcissist to confuse you and make you feel crazy. The cunning abusive strategy that narcissists use to manipulate their victim's reality and control their perceptions by eroding their self-confidence and fostering dependency. In this episode, discover effective strategies to recognize and resist gaslighting tactics, reclaiming your truth and empowerment.In this episode we look at:1. Textbook gaslighting lines and phrases2. How Gaslighting makes the victim not trust their instincts3. What Gaslighting actually means4. How gaslighting is used out of context and the true damage that gaslighting does to...
2024-07-0950 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysThe Narcissist Smear Campaign.The narcissist's smear campaign is designed to isolate the victim and destroy their reputation. The narcissist's number one fear is exposure. The smear campaign is a pre-emptive strike to destroy the victim's credibility so no one believes them when they go to talk about their abuse.In this episode, I unpack...What is a smear campaign? When does the smear campaign begin? How does a narcissist use a smear campaign to manipulate the perceptions of others? Why do intelligent people believe the narcissist? Should you defend yourself agai...
2024-07-021h 01Fake Love and Flying MonkeysAm I the narcissist? Unveiling reactive abuse tacticsThis pervasive question arises because victims of narcissistic abuse are frequently manipulated into feeling like the abuser through tactics like Reactive Abuse and DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender). This is the question we answer in this life-changing episode.In this episode, we delve into this crucial question that plagues survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence, providing comprehensive answers.We explore:What is Reactive Abuse? Understand how victims are provoked into reacting, which is then used against them.What is DARVO? Explore the tactic where offenders deny the...
2024-06-2544 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysTrauma Bonding: Why Victims Stay with NarcissistsWhy don't victims of abuse just leave? Victims often struggle to break free from abusive relationships. In this eye-opening episode we answer this critical question. We explore the complex dynamics of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence in the context of trauma bonding, and NOT Co-dependency. Join me as I dive deep into the concept of trauma bonding to understand why .We unpack...What is trauma bonding?Explore the psychological mechanism behind trauma bonding and how it ties victims to their abusers emotionally.How does a trauma bond form and how does it override th...
2024-06-1839 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysCan a narcissist love you?How can someone who professes to love you be so cruel? It's a horrifying thought, the possibility that your entire relationship was built on lies and the love you felt was entirely one-sided. Understanding the complexities of narcissistic relationships can be overwhelming, but I'm here to help you make sense of it all.I unpack:What love means to the narcissistDiscover the unique and often twisted perception of love from a narcissist's perspective.What a narcissist means when they say, "I... LOVE... YOU."Learn the true intent behind a na...
2024-06-1147 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysUnderstanding Narcissism and Flying Monkeys in Narcissistic AbuseWhat is a Narcissist? It's just a buzzword to many, but for the victims, it's a devastating, often very covert form of abuse that destroys their lives, and their is little support and understanding for them. In this 1st full length episode I explain what a narcissist actually is. It's become a buzzword and so many people use the word without knowing the true meaning, which minimises the trauma of victims and makes it hard for them to get support. The behaviours and traits of the narcissist that we discuss in this episode are NOT isolated incidents. They...
2024-06-0447 minFake Love and Flying MonkeysWelcome to the Fake Love and Flying Monkeys Podcast!Well Fake Love is finally here! In this introductory episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, Nova Gibson gives you a breakdown of what you can expect in this podcast relating to all toxic relationships involving a narcissist. This episode '#0', is uploaded at the same time as episode #1 so you don't have to wait! Subscribe now so you never miss an episode. P.S. If you have a narcissist in your life??? Then you also have their flying monkeys!🎧 Tune in now and learn how to stop the manipulation before it controls you! Don't forget to
2024-05-2309 min