Shows
Doing Marriage WellDrift: The Silent Marriage Killer You Don't See ComingThis week, I want to discuss drift.
It’s common to drift in our lives. If we aren’t focused on something, we tend to drift. If we’re overly focused on something, we may drift in other areas.
In some parts of our lives, drift is not an issue. But it’s a major problem when it happens in our marriage relationship.
The danger of drift is it happens naturally and slowly. The change is so small over short periods of time we don’t see or feel it. But small bits o...2025-07-0701 min
Doing Marriage WellMarriage Tipping Points: Unlocking Sexual HealthOur original tipping point post was made by my wife, thirteen years ago. In Tip Me Over, she talked about all the things from her childhood and early adult years that made sex a problem for her. Because she was intentional about becoming sexually healthy, “Over the years I learned not to fear sex and then even to enjoy it some. It was still a struggle at times, but it was getting better and better and I figured it would keep on that way.”
Then, as she put it, “something happened” and “sex became easy, fun and very good...2025-07-0401 min
Doing Marriage WellTipping Points: Using Affirmation for Positive ChangeAs I have already said, relationship tipping points can lead to good or bad things. Learning to cause good tipping points is a powerful marriage tool.
One good way to use this is to offset years or decades of negative messages your spouse received from their family or friends. In this case, you didn’t put the rocks on the downside of the balance beam, which means you can’t remove them. But you can steadily put rocks on the other side until it changes the balance.
If your wife was repeatedly told she...2025-07-0301 min
Doing Marriage WellTipping Points: When Complaints StopGiven how difficult it can be to reverse a relational tipping point, wisdom suggests we should try to catch a situation before it tips.
More than once, Lori and I have dealt with a couple where one had reached a tipping point, and no longer cared about their marriage. They were done, and there was no changing their mind. If their spouse suddenly became all they had always wanted, it would not matter; not even if they thought the change was real and permanent.
Part of the reason people are blind sided by...2025-07-0201 min
Doing Marriage WellAdding Good to Restore Relationship BalanceIf you want to move a balance beam scale, you either add weight to the side that is up, or remove weight from the side that is down. The same is generally true with tipping points in relationships, but it’s not always as simple as it would be for a physical scale.
There are some things you can’t remove. Or should not. For example, your job may be a source of frustration in your marriage, but you have to pay the bills. You might be able to make things better by a job change, but that...2025-07-0101 min
Doing Marriage WellMarriage Tipping Points: Small Things Add Up to Big ChangesI want to talk about marriage Tipping Points this week.
If you put a big rock on one side of a balance scale, and then start to add pebbles one at a time to the other side, eventually one single pebble will cause the pebble side to drop as the rock rises. There’s nothing special about that last pebble. It might well be smaller than most of the rest. And had you not added any of the other pebbles before it, that one would not have made a change.
It’s the sum of the p...2025-06-3001 min
Doing Marriage WellDoing Marriage Together: Being Present During SexObviously, having sex needs to be on the list of things a couple does together. What I want to focus on today is what it means to “do sex together”.
Good sex is a participation sport. If either of you is not fully participating, you’re not having the kind of sex God calls you to.
There are two ways this happens, and for the most part they fall along gender lines.
For women, not being present is usually based on a lack of interest. It could be all the time, or only...2025-06-2702 min
Doing Marriage WellDoing Life Together: Attending Church Strengthens MarriageHigh on the list of things a couple should do together is going to church.
If you and your sweetie can’t agree on a church, you have a problem that won’t be solved by going to separate churches.
If your faith is a big deal to you, sharing it with your spouse is a must. If it’s not a common thing, it can cause a divide.
Various studies have found that couples who attend church together have reported higher levels of happiness and have lower rates of divorce. What’s...2025-06-2601 min
Doing Marriage WellDoing Life Together: Shared Vacations For The WinEver heard a couple sing the praises of taking separate vacations? You can easily get Google to give you “experts” who say separate vacations build trust, or improve relationships. I say balderdash!
Most couples have many great couple memories from vacations. Relaxing together is good. Doing new things together is good. Vacation sex is good. You don’t get any of that if you take separate vacations.
I found a study on this. It indicated that shared experiences during vacations resulted in higher levels of couple flexibility and cohesion following vacations. Another study found that novel...2025-06-2501 min
Doing Marriage WellDoing Life Together: The Power of SleepingAs we talk this week about sharing life with our spouses, one thing we must discuss is sleeping together.
No, not sex, we’ll get to that on Friday. I mean going to bed together, sleeping together, and waking up together.
You might think, “We’re asleep, why does it matter?” Turns out it matters a great deal.
The list of benefits from sleeping together sounds too good to be true, but there are studies (see below) to back them up. Those who share a bed fall asleep faster, have increased sleep dur...2025-06-2401 min
Doing Marriage WellDoing Life Together: MealsOur theme this week is doing life together. Remember when you fell in love, and you tried to spend every waking minute together? You wanted to share everything! But that changes over time. To some degree, this is right and healthy. But as life gets busy, it’s all too easy to take it too far. […]
The post Doing Life Together: Meals first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Doing Life Together: Meals appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-2301 min
Doing Marriage WellWhy Sex Deserves at Least the Same ConsiderationIs sex a want or a need? I’ve heard a great deal of arguing about that question over the years. My approach to this is consistency. Sex should be treated the same as the non-sexual wants and needs we’ve disused this week. I often hear, “But sex is different.” Yes, it is. It’s far more […]
The post Why Sex Deserves at Least the Same Consideration first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Why Sex Deserves at Least the Same Consideration appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-2001 min
Doing Marriage WellDiscovering and Meeting Your Spouse’s True NeedsSo how do you give your spouse what they really need? Ideally, you could just ask them. And I suggest you start there. But some folks won’t talk about what they need, and plenty of us don’t really know. Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages is an excellent tool for learning the broad area […]
The post Discovering and Meeting Your Spouse’s True Needs first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Discovering and Meeting Your Spouse’s True Needs appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-1901 min
Doing Marriage WellA Better Way: Generosity for Both Wants and NeedsThe Apostle Paul intros 1 Cor 13, the so-called love chapter, by saying “I will show you a better way”. Today, I am stealing that line, as I will show you a better way to deal with wants and needs: Generosity has no need to sort wants from needs, because it wants to meet both. […]
The post A Better Way: Generosity for Both Wants and Needs first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post A Better Way: Generosity for Both Wants and Needs appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-1801 min
Doing Marriage WellBeyond Survival: What Your Marriage Needs to ThriveThere’s an old joke about a stoic farmer who got married. On the way home from the ceremony, the man of few words said to his new bride, “I love you. It that ever changes, I’ll let you know.” How many women would be okay with only hearing “I love you” once? For that matter, […]
The post Beyond Survival: What Your Marriage Needs to Thrive first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Beyond Survival: What Your Marriage Needs to Thrive appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-1701 min
Doing Marriage WellWhy It Doesn't Matter If It's A Need or A WantLet’s talk about “needs” this week. I’ve heard plenty of folks say they need something, only to be told what they have expressed is a want. If you get down to it, we don’t need most of what we have to “survive”. But most of us want to go beyond survival, and if we love […]
The post Why It Doesn’t Matter If It’s A Need or A Want first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Why It Doesn’t Matter If It’s A Need or A Want appeared first on Doing Marriage 2025-06-1601 min
Doing Marriage WellPray About Sex?So praying, about sex? Is that even okay? It’s a silly question, but I suspect you’ve felt that way at least a bit. Peter Lombard, a theologian who lived in the 1100’s said “The Holy Spirit leaves the room when a married couple has sex, even if they do it without passion to make new […]
The post Pray About Sex? first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Pray About Sex? appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-1301 min
Doing Marriage WellPractical Tools for Praying for Your SpouseToday some tools to help you pray for your spouse. Make it a point to start and end your day with prayer. In the morning, ask your spouse what they would have you pray for them for the day. Then pray it! If there is something important happening at a certain time, set an alarm […]
The post Practical Tools for Praying for Your Spouse first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Practical Tools for Praying for Your Spouse appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-1201 min
Doing Marriage WellThe Prayer That Transforms Marriage ArgumentsWhen I am frustrated with my wife, I would like my first response to be praying “Lord, what am I doing wrong?” That has never been my first response. But it’s moving up the list as I become wiser. I am not suggesting by this that I think Lori is always right. Or that women […]
The post The Prayer That Transforms Marriage Arguments first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post The Prayer That Transforms Marriage Arguments appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-1101 min
Doing Marriage WellHonoring Your Spouse: A Reflection on 1 Peter 3:7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. ~ 1 Peter 3:7 ESV I wonder how many husbands believe this passage. Many certainly don’t act […]
The post Honoring Your Spouse: A Reflection on 1 Peter 3:7 first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Honoring Your Spouse: A Reflection on 1 Peter 3:7 appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-1001 min
Doing Marriage WellPrayer Should Be Central to Your MarriageThis week, I want to talk about prayer. Prayer should be a big thing in our marriages. That should include praying for God to help us be better spouses, praying for our spouse, and praying together. A lot of men struggle to pray out loud. Prayer has always felt very private to me. Blessing a […]
The post Prayer Should Be Central to Your Marriage first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Prayer Should Be Central to Your Marriage appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-0900 min
Doing Marriage WellSex Feels One-sided: His & Her FrustrationThe fifth-biggest issue in our survey was “Sex Feels One-sided”. Nineteen percent of women and 30% of men saw this as a major issue in their marriage. Only eight percent of men, and one woman, thought the issue could end their marriage. This issue tends to be different for men and women who experience it. […]
The post Sex Feels One-sided: His & Her Frustration first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Sex Feels One-sided: His & Her Frustration appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-0602 min
Doing Marriage WellSexual Variety: Maybe Not What You ThinkThe third-biggest problem in our survey was a lack of sexual variety. Forty-seven percent of men and 19% of women listed this as a significant problem in their marriage. Ten percent of men and half as many women said the issue threatened to end their marriage. Complaints about variety don’t generally mean “I want something […]
The post Sexual Variety: Maybe Not What You Think first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Sexual Variety: Maybe Not What You Think appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-0501 min
Doing Marriage WellSexual Frequency: Top Concern in What’s Hurting Your Marriage SurveyLack of non-sexual intimacy was number two in the What’s Hurting Your Marriage? results. The other three in the top four were all about sex. I’ll cover them one a day for the rest of the week. Sexual Frequency slightly beat out non-sexual intimacy for the biggest problem. Twenty-seven percent of the women, and 47% […]
The post Sexual Frequency: Top Concern in What’s Hurting Your Marriage Survey first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Sexual Frequency: Top Concern in What’s Hurting Your Marriage Survey appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-0401 min
Doing Marriage WellWhen Sickness and Elder Care Test Your VowsMore results from our What’s Hurting Your Marriage? survey. Today, health and elder care. Due to the age of most of our respondents, these two were higher than they would be for marriages in general. But both are things most couples will face at some point, so well worth some discussion. It’s all well and […]
The post When Sickness and Elder Care Test Your Vows first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post When Sickness and Elder Care Test Your Vows appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-0302 min
Doing Marriage WellWhat’s Hurting Your Marriage: Non-Sexual IntimacySo, time for results on the What’s Hurting Your Marriage? survey. We had slightly more men than women answer. Almost half were 55 or older, with only 5% being under 35. And most were very serious about their faith. Only a few things stood out as being major problems. Those were: Lack of non-sexual intimacy […]
The post What’s Hurting Your Marriage: Non-Sexual Intimacy first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post What’s Hurting Your Marriage: Non-Sexual Intimacy appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-06-0201 min
Doing Marriage WellDoing Sex Well: Embracing God’s Design Over TraditionDiscussing different with regard to sex in a Christian context can be challenging. The church has a long history of allowing Gnosticism and Victorianism to taint what God says about sex in marriage. God seem to be big on married couples having a lot of extraordinary sex. In both Song of Songs and Proverbs, we […]
The post Doing Sex Well: Embracing God’s Design Over Tradition first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Doing Sex Well: Embracing God’s Design Over Tradition appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-05-3001 min
Doing Marriage WellResisting Society’s “Right” Way to Do MarriageSociety has ideas about how to do marriage “right”. In theory, the church ignores those things. In practice, we are affected. One of these is the idea that you should finish college, have a good job, and possibly own a home before you get married. This is not a biblical concept, but it’s becoming very […]
The post Resisting Society’s “Right” Way to Do Marriage first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Resisting Society’s “Right” Way to Do Marriage appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-05-2901 min
Doing Marriage WellChallenging Church Traditions with Biblical TruthOne of the biggest voices trying to tell you how you should do your marriage is the church. Or at least some of her people. Believers are big on doing things right. But all too often what is proclaimed to be the truth of God is man’s tradition. Some such things once had value, but […]
The post Challenging Church Traditions with Biblical Truth first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Challenging Church Traditions with Biblical Truth appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-05-2801 min
Doing Marriage WellBreaking Free of "Normal": Finding What Works for You TwoRight vs Well: For much of human history, going against the norm was dangerous. Everyone was dependent on their small community. Being different meant being ostracized, expelled, or burned at the stake! And there was good reason for this. When life hangs in the balance, different could cost the whole community. If farmer Brown decides […]
The post Breaking Free of “Normal”: Finding What Works for You Two first appeared on Doing Marriage Well.
The post Breaking Free of “Normal”: Finding What Works for You Two appeared first on Doing Marriage Well.2025-05-2701 min
The Nate Whitson ShowThe Marriage Bed w/Paul ByerlyWhat is God’s Will for your life? Do you ever struggle to know this? www.getinthefight.club/newsletter - Click here if you want help to be a better husband, father, and follower of Jesus and get our FREE Better Sex & Marriage video training resource as a thank you - right away!
In today’s podcast, I discuss many different nuances when it comes to sex and marriage within the Christian context with Paul Byerly of The Marriage Bed ministries.
Join us as we dive into conversations around pornography, mixed sex drives betwe...2025-04-2141 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantFarewell to The Generous HusbandOn Sunday July 15, 2001, I did the first post for The Generous Husband. Today, some 8,000 posts later, I write this last one. It’s certainly bitter-sweet, but I’m not giving up blogging, so it’s okay. (If you want to follow the new blog it’s https://doingmarriagewell.com – and I start Saturday.) Doing this blog has been a big part of my life for a very long time. I’ve enjoyed getting to know many of you online, and some of you in person. It’s been a blast, and a blessing. My thanks to all of you.
The ima...2025-02-2802 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantRedefining Sex So It's Easier And Better for Both of YouOn Tuesday, I said your wife’s needs are valid, even though they’re different. What about her sexual needs?
Even if a woman is all about sex, it’s not as high on her list as is the case for most men. Usually, sex doesn’t make a woman feel loved. Rather, she wants sex because she feels loved. Beyond that, if you have the higher drive, she may rarely get to full desire. Perhaps she says yes out of love, or obligation, when she’s not feeling it. Or she says no initially, and then says yes as...2025-02-2701 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantDifferent, Possibly Confusing, But Totally ValidToday, I want to impress on you that while your wife’s needs are different from your needs, they are just as valid.
When I say needs, I mean what she needs from you to feel loved and cared for. You do want her to feel loved and cared for, don’t you?
We tend to dismiss our wife’s needs because they are different. We don’t understand why they’re important because we don’t understand what’s behind them. We may not consciously dismiss her needs, but odds are we don’t see her...2025-02-2501 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantEmbracing Gender Differences for a Better MarriageAs this is my last week of posts on this blog, I want to hit a few important concepts before I move on.
For the last nine years, most of my Monday posts have been simple, easy to do things to make your marriage better.
Small things can make a real difference, and a steady diet of small things can be huge.
The power of simple acts is they don’t cost you much in terms of time or energy. This means you can do a couple of small loving things ev...2025-02-2401 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantNavigating Sexual Boundaries with Love and PatienceAt the start of this year, I suggested that you Honour Your Wife by Letting Go of Sexual Preferences. I said if there were a couple of things you wanted that she keeps rejecting, you should stop asking for those. I proposed your wife is more important than those sex acts.
Then someone asked, “What if she has a lot of things she doesn’t like?”
I’m assuming this is about a wife who’s willing to have sex, but only does a very few things. So the issue is boredom, not refusal.2025-02-2201 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantFF: Applying the S-Curve Model to Strengthen Your MarriageWhitney Johnson, a Harvard Business Review blogger, has some interesting ideas I think apply to marriage nicely. In Throw Your Life a Curve Johnson talks about the S curve model for understanding how we learn new things.
You start to do something new to improve some aspect of your marriage, or just to make your wife happier. This could be a change of habit, trying to listen better, a new approach to sex, whatever. You start at the lower left of the curve, in the yellow area of the chart above. You are unsure how it’...2025-02-2102 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantFreedom in Marriage: God vs. What Others Think
I trust God will understand. I’m not so sure about the neighbors. ~ Papa to Yentl
It’s been over forty years since I saw the movie, but I still remember this line clearly. Yentl’s father teaches the Talmud to the boys in his small Polish town. At that time, Judaism forbade teaching the Talmud to women. But behind locked doors and closed curtains, Papa teaches it to Yentl. The quote above is how Papa answers when Yentl asks why he is careful no one sees him teaching her.
The Bible talks about...2025-02-2001 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantThe Root of All Marital Strife and the Path to HealingI’ve come to the conclusion that there is one single cause for all divorces and unhappy marriages:
We fail to do what we should because of selfishness. We do things we should not because of selfishness. We withhold grace and forgiveness because of selfishness.
We may blame what we do wrong on our wife’s selfishness. And while that will often be valid, we could instead deal with our selfish response to her selfishness.
The good news in this is the way to a better marriage is simple: work on bein...2025-02-1800 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantBeyond Valentine's: Showing Love Your Wife Love Year-RoundValentine’s is over. But the need for your wife to know you love her is not.
This week, buy her flowers or candy. Send her a loving text. Take her out for the evening, or serve her breakfast in bed. Do this no matter what you did or did not do for Valentine’s.
It means even more when it’s not expected.
Image Credit: © rocketclips | stock.adobe.comShop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links pageWe’re donation supported Thanks for your help!This post may contain affi...2025-02-1700 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantEvolving Intimacy: Embracing Change in Your Marriage BedThe other day, I talked about the need to let go and move on, and what we can miss when we fail to do that. Today I want to apply that to sex.
No, I am not suggesting you need to let go of sex! Far from it.
We generally hold on to what works. And we often keep holding on to it even when it’s not working. And we tend to be especially bad about this when it comes to sex.
If you struggled to find a way of ha...2025-02-1501 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantFF: Decoding Her Desire: Stop Shooting BlindHave you ever tried the “ask for sex every night” approach, figuring the more often you ask, the more often she will say yes? Or, maybe you have no idea why she says yes or no, so you figure you should ask all the time so you don’t miss an occasion when she might say […]
The post FF: Decoding Her Desire: Stop Shooting Blind first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-1402 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantBeyond Average: God's Plan for Your MarriageSome folks worry about what’s average, and if they measure up. Here’s the thing: the average person is overweight and not getting nearly enough exercise. The average Christian is falling short of what Jesus called us to do. The average number of lifetime sexual partners in the US is 10.7. And the average couple is […]
The post Beyond Average: God’s Plan for Your Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-1301 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantLetting Go and Moving on… To Something Better!The end of this month, I will stop doing The Generous Husband blog, after almost 24 years. I know it’s time, but I’ve still had a hard time letting go and moving on. I made plans for the next thing, but didn’t initially feel much passion for it. Slowly I made peace with the change, […]
The post Letting Go and Moving on… To Something Better! first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-1101 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantValentine's Day: Navigating Love and ExpectationHere it comes again, guys, that day known as Valentine’s Day. Dislike it, hate it, or fear it, it’s a fact of life. You can’t run from it, and ignoring it is not a good plan. I know some of you fear you can’t get it right, and some of you know from experience that […]
The post Valentine’s Day: Navigating Love and Expectation first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-1000 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantEnhancing Sexual Intimacy: A Pastor Talks "Sex Tools"Recently, my dear wife said to me, “Thank you for thinking about lube and vibrators.” I recall that when I first suggested a “sex toy” she was hesitant. And that’s putting it kindly. I get it, we were taught that good people don’t use such things. We also got the message that using them would […]
The post Enhancing Sexual Intimacy: A Pastor Talks “Sex Tools” first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-0802 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantEmbracing the Whole Package, Quirks and AllMy wife puts up with me. It’s not that I am a horrible person, but I know I can be a challenge. I see life as an adventure looking for a place to happen, and I feel obligated to make room for as much adventure as possible. In addition, I figure if something is worth […]
The post Embracing the Whole Package, Quirks and All first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-0701 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantLessons from Coaching: The Power of Good Will in MarriageChange is difficult, and it can be costly. It takes a commitment of time and energy. If you’re not ready to make that commitment, seeking help is a waste of time and money. If you’re too busy to give it the time it will take, that’s also a waste. You also have to be in […]
The post Lessons from Coaching: The Importance of Readiness first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-0601 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantLessons from Coaching: The Power of Good Will in MarriageAs Lori and I have been doing coaching, the importance of being good-willed has been driven home to me. If both spouses are good-willed, the couple will almost certainly move towards a better marriage with just a bit of help. If either one is not good-willed, the chances of success are very low. Merriam-Webster defines […]
The post Lessons from Coaching: The Power of Good Will in Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-0400 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantBuild a Stronger Marriage One Little Thing at a TimeOn Mondays, I try to offer something small and simple you can do for your marriage. Small can be big, if you stick to it. And a number of small things you keep doing can, over time, be huge. It’s like the straw that broke the camel’s back, but with a good result. All too […]
The post Build a Stronger Marriage One Little Thing at a Time first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-0300 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantYour Marriage's Sexual Issues May Not Be About SexOn Thursday, I talked about taking a holistic approach to marriage. I said we ask coaching couples things well beyond the issue they bring to the table, and that this is especially true when the presented issue is sexual. It’s rare to get a couple with big sexual issues who don’t have non-sexual issues too. […]
The post Your Marriage’s Sexual Issues May Not Be About Sex first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-02-0101 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantFF: Why Can't She Be The Way My Girlfriends Were?A comment on a recent poll read, “If only my wife treated me as well as my sinful high school girlfriends so many years ago”. I suspect many men who did more than hold hands with someone before their wife have had similar thoughts. If you got more, or better, when you were single, it’s […]
The post FF: Why Can’t She Be The Way My Girlfriends Were? first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-3102 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantHolistic Marriage: A Wider Focus is BetterAs I’ve been thinking about the next iteration of marriage blogging, which will start March 1st, I realised my approach to marriage has become very holistic. When Lori and I coach a couple, we ask about things well beyond the issue they bring to the table. This is especially true when the presented issue is […]
The post Holistic Marriage: A Wider Focus is Better first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-3001 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantUnmasking Your True Self For a Better MarriageUnfortunately I feel the opposite, my mask is on at home just to keep the peace. As soon as the door opens my authentic self is gone, and I try not to make waves, stay in the background, etc.. I am more myself in front of friends and people that I know love me unconditionally. […]
The post Unmasking Your True Self For a Better Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-2801 min
The Generous Husband Daily Rant40 Years Strong: How God Defied the Odds in Our MarriageToday, Lori and I celebrate forty years of marriage. Her comment to me about this yesterday was, “And they said it wouldn’t last”. And I suspect there were more than a few who thought if not said that. Honestly, there was good reason to think that way. She was too recently divorced from a bad […]
The post 40 Years Strong: How God Defied the Odds in Our Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-2701 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantHer Pleasure: The Importance of Foreplay and PositionForeplay matters. It matters a great deal. If you want her to enjoy sex, good foreplay is a must. A well done study found that manual and oral foreplay increased the odds a woman would orgasm. Oral was a bit better, but either will do it. It was found that good foreplay was especially important […]
The post Her Pleasure: The Importance of Foreplay and Position first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-2500 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantFF: Understanding Her Sexuality: A Guide to Pleasuring Your WifeMen are straightforward sexually. Our bits are on the outside, they respond dramatically to stimulation, we climax easily, and we usually give good indications by sounds, movements, and words when we are enjoying what is being done. Additionally, men are fairly similar in what we want and enjoy. Yes, there’s some variation, but not a […]
The post FF: Understanding Her Sexuality: A Guide to Pleasuring Your Wife first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-2403 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantHow Marriage Coaching Could Have Improved Our Early YearsThe other day, I closed my XY Code post by saying I wish on-line Christian marriage coaching had been a thing when Lori and I were newly married. I thought it might be useful for me to ruminate here how that might have gone for us. I used to say that when we got married, […]
The post How Marriage Coaching Could Have Improved Our Early Years first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-2301 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantWhen Hyper-Spirituality Threatens Your MarriageFrom time to time, I see or work with a man on the verge of his wife filing for divorce, who responds by becoming hyper-spiritual. He proclaims that her actions and choices are due to either his wife falling away from the Lord, or demonic activity, or both. In some cases, this is just an […]
The post When Hyper-Spirituality Threatens Your Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-2101 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantAppreciating the Unseen: Rekindling GratitudeWhen did you last thank your wife for doing something that’s “her job”? It’s easy to stop being aware of things she does if she does them well. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say. Take a moment to think about the things she does so reliably you’ve stopped thinking about them. Then […]
The post Appreciating the Unseen: Rekindling Gratitude first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-2000 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantChristian Sex Coaching: Finding Help for Sexual ProblemsA few days ago, I suggested you get help for your marriage if you need it. Today, I want to give you the same advice for your sex life. When we were newly married, Lori and I could have used some help in this area. But we couldn’t find anyone with a Christian world view […]
The post Christian Sex Coaching: Finding Help for Sexual Problems first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-1801 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantFF: God's Design for Her Sexual PleasureSex is not just for men. God intended women to enjoy it too. How can I say that? Because His design leaves no other rational conclusion. While female orgasm is not necessary for conception, the clitoris has no purpose other than pleasure. Additionally, women can have multiple orgasms, their orgasms tend to last longer than the male […]
The post FF: God’s Design for Her Sexual Pleasure first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-1703 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantSeeking Help for Your Marriage: Early Intervention MattersI want to encourage you to get help for your marriage if you need it. And sooner is better than later! Most couples who seek help from counsellors, therapists, or coaches wait far too long. When getting help is seen as a last ditch, desperate measure, the problems pile up and dealing with them becomes […]
The post Seeking Help for Your Marriage: Early Intervention Matters first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-1601 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantNurturing a Thriving Marriage in a Lukewarm WorldYou can’t talk life goals around people who don’t have the same hunger as you, it’ll just sound like you are bragging. ~ Aubrey Drake Someone posted that on Quora, and I thought, yes, exactly. I’ve run into this more than once when Lori and I were discussing our relationship or the growth we wanted […]
The post Nurturing a Thriving Marriage in a Lukewarm World first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-1401 min
The Generous Husband Daily RantLove in the Pews: Ripple Effect of Affection in ChurchWe usually sit up front at church. But yesterday we arrived just before the service started, and the front was full, so we ended up close to the back. I was looking at the folks in front of me during the sermon, and I noticed a number of married couples sitting close, or one with […]
The post Love in the Pews: Ripple Effect of Affection in Church first appeared on The Generous Husband.2025-01-1300 min
Still Becoming OneThe Sex Education Every Couple Needs with Paul & Lori ByerlySend us a textUnlock the secrets to a fulfilling marriage with esteemed marriage educators Paul and Lori Byerly. With an impressive 39 years of marital experience and 27 years dedicated to intimacy education, they share invaluable insights from their journey, including the creation of TheMarriageBed.com, their influential blogs The Generous Husband and The Generous Wife and Doing Marriage Well, and the podcast XYcode-Decoding the Male Mind. Paul and Lori discuss how their personal challenges with sexual issues fueled their passion for marriage ministry, helping couples heal and discover the intimacy in marriage they've always wanted...2024-06-1242 min