Shows
Solutions for FamiliesHow To Prevent ProblemsTalking about things that might occur helps us make decisions in advance. Hopefully, when the time comes to make a similar decision, we will have thought it through and will choose wisely.Preventing a problem is usually easier, and more desirable, than trying to solve the problem.There are several ways we can help prevent problems:Use a kind tone of voice when speaking.Communicate our feelings and let people know how they can help us.Avoid sarcastic humor and eliminate criticism.Try to sense how a family member is feeling and carefully speak o...2020-11-2407 min
Solutions for FamiliesThe Importance of Family ValuesWe display our values everyday by the way we speak and act. The decisions we make, the way we use our time, and how we spend our money all reveal our values. The rules we have in our families are a result of our values--the things we think are really important. It’s vital that everyone knows the difference between what’s really important and what doesn’t matter too much.Mentioned on the Show:Solutions For FamiliesConnect with Paula:Facebook: @paula.fellinghamInstagram: @paulafellinghamLinkedIn...2020-11-1706 min
Solutions for FamiliesFamily Rules and ConsequencesIn life there are rules--at home, at school and in the community. It’s important to have rules in a family for order and peace to exist. When all family members help make the rules, children take the responsibility of helping to set their own limits. Families should gather together and decide on family rules. Then the rules need to be obeyed by all family members.When children help create family rules and consequences, when they disobey, they are disobeying rules which they once agreed upon. When it becomes necessary for parents to enforce rules and consequences, it is...2020-11-1207 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Make Responsible DecisionsChildren learn this best in families when they have many opportunities to make decisions and when parents explain the reasons for their decisions. Young people who haven’t made decisions about who they are and what they want to do in life are the most vulnerable to peer pressure. Inexperienced decision-makers are more likely to rely on others to make their decisions and define their values for them. The Decision-Making ProcessIdentify the problem.List all possible solutions.Think about each alternative--applying your knowledge, values, resources, and the ease or difficulty of the solution. Discuss the i...2020-11-1006 min
Solutions for FamiliesEspecially For Parents: How To Handle Problems WellThe choices we make as to how we deal with our problems largely determine our happiness or unhappiness. No matter how devastating our circumstances, we can still choose how we think and how we perceive life. Included in the lesson on responsibility is Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous quote, “No one can offend me without my permission.” We can choose how we react to our circumstances, our environment, and the people around us. Choice is powerful and truly a gift. Even as I write that statement I fully understand that many, many choices in our lives are beyond our control. However, the...2020-11-0309 min
Solutions for FamiliesLessons for Families: Teaching ResponsibilityOne of the most important things we can learn in this life is to take responsibility for our own thoughts, words and actions. An American president’s wife, Eleanor Roosevelt, spoke about this when she said, “No one can offend me without my permission.” We can choose what we think and how we act.When we’re responsible, we no longer blame others, the weather or our memory. Ask:1. What would you do if you broke something in our home?2. What if you had a family job to do, and your friend asked y...2020-10-2906 min
Solutions for FamiliesStories and Poems on CommunicationMentioned on the Show:Solutions for FamiliesConnect with Paula:Facebook: @paula.fellinghamInstagram: @paulafellinghamLinkedIn: @paulafellinghamWebsite: paulafellingham.comSubscribe to Podcast2020-10-2711 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Communicate Openly, Honestly, FrequentlySometimes we expect others to know exactly what we want, or need, even when we say little or nothing at all. Perhaps unkind remarks by others keep us from being open and honest--we’re afraid of being hurt or embarrassed. It’s very important that family members say only kind, supportive things when someone is sharing their feelings. We should never laugh, or criticize in any way. When we can say what we really think to supportive family members, good things usually happen:∙ We know our family cares about us.∙ We believe our opinions and...2020-10-2211 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Listen WellListening is more than just hearing words. It is trying to understand a person’s message and their feelings. When we listen, it shows that we care. Careful listening also increases our empathy for people’s feelings. When we listen we should:1. Show we’re listening. 2. Be interested in what the person is saying and concentrate on their words.3. Never interrupt.4. Watch the speaker’s body language. 5. Actively listen. As we listen with open hearts and minds to the messages we hear, we will learn much, and discover ho...2020-10-2008 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Speak More PositivelyCommunication can be negative (unkind) or positive (kind). When we speak unkindly to one another it destroys the loving atmosphere we want in our home, and it makes family members feel unhappy and unloved. On the other hand, when we speak in a positive and kind way to one another, our family is happier.It is so important to speak positively, because people usually become what they are told they are. Try each day to turn negative comments into positive ones. Remember that any habit is hard to break. Be kind to yourselves and have patie...2020-10-1510 min
Solutions for FamiliesEspecially For Parents: How To Communicate WellIf we can put into practice what we’ve learned about speaking with kindness, and combine it with sharing our hearts openly, and listening with the intent to understand and help, we are on the road to being able to communicate deeply and effectively. Strong relationships are build not on “surface talk,” during which people only discuss the weather or other non-threatening subjects. Usually relationships which stand the test of trials and time are those whose participants are willing to communicate the thoughts and honest feelings of their hearts. By doing so, they risk ridicule and rejection. Nonetheless, these people acc...2020-10-1316 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Understand FirstGood communication is understanding and being understood. In our family we should be able to talk to one another easily. We should know that we can share our feelings in confidence, know that we won’t be laughed at, and feel understood. When we make a real effort to understand before we try to be understood, usually our efforts will be appreciated, our communication will improve, and our relationships will become stronger and more loving.Activity This activity teaches how to help people understand us when we communicate. The method is called “I messages.” Th...2020-10-0805 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Serve Others GladlyService is kindness in action. Service is giving to others; lifting loads and brightening lives. Having an attitude of service means looking for ways to help rather than waiting to be asked. The needs of others are important to those who unselfishly serve. They help people because they care about them, not because they expect a reward. Those who serve others will also benefit--they’ll enjoy good feelings of self-worth and an increased capacity to love.As a family, participate in one of the acts of service below, or think of your own:∙ Plant a tree.2020-10-0605 min
Solutions for FamiliesStories and Poems on CommitmentMentioned on the Show:Solutions For FamiliesConnect with Paula:Facebook: @paula.fellinghamInstagram: @paulafellinghamLinkedIn: @paulafellinghamWebsite: paulafellingham.com2020-10-0114 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Enjoy Family TraditionsA family tradition is an activity that a family does regularly. Often traditions are so simple that families don’t even consciously recognize them as traditions.Healthy relationships are built on time spent together. Family traditions create opportunities for us to be with one another. As we join together and participate in a tradition, we share our lives in special ways that are unique to our family. Usually, the more we share our lives, the more we care for one another.A family is like a chain and family members are like the links in the ch...2020-09-2910 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Set Family GoalsDefining our goals will help point us in the direction we want to go. The great basketball player Michael Jordan said, “I visualized where I wanted to be, what kind of player I wanted to become. I knew exactly where I wanted to go, and I focused on getting there.”Helmut Schmidt remarked, “The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity to not dream. It is not a disgrace not to reach th...2020-09-2408 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Give Your Family Unhurried TimeQuality time means that when we are with one another we are 100% “there,” focused on family members’ needs and happiness. Quantity time means that we are with our families as often as we can be. This is a challenge sometimes, but when family relationships are truly our highest priority, time needs to be given to those relationships. There is no substitute for unhurried time with our loved ones. Strong families enjoy being together, and they make the effort to plan activities to be with one another. Family time doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. The simplest activit...2020-09-2210 min
Solutions for FamiliesEspecially for Parents: How to Commit Your Time and Heart to Your FamilyDuring our lifetime we make many commitments. We commit to being educated and to attend school. We commit our loyalty to friends. We commit to bank loan officers, employers and politicians. However, of all the commitments we make in life, commitment to our family is the most important. What does being committed to our family mean? I believe it means that we give our hearts and our time to our family, no matter what the consequences may be. We commit to do whatever is necessary to ensure family happiness. There are countless ways to show our commitment to our f...2020-09-1719 min
Solutions for FamiliesStories and Poems on KindnessMentioned on the Show:Free Parenting Webinar7 Step Parenting CourseConnect with Paula:Facebook: @paula.fellinghamInstagram: @paulafellinghamLinkedIn: @paulafellinghamWebsite: paulafellingham.com2020-09-1515 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Give and Receive AffectionNone of us really outgrow our need for affection. The outward signs may not be as clear as with small babies, but many people “fail to thrive” because of lack of affection. We all have a need to receive affection if we are to become the best that we can be. We also need to give affection freely so others know we care.People express affection in different ways. Some are more comfortable than others giving and receiving affection. For some it is very natural to give kisses, hugs or pats on the back. For others this can seem a...2020-09-1008 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Show AppreciationCriticizing others not only creates bad feelings, it isn’t a good way to get people to change. It’s a fact that animals can be trained much faster if they’re rewarded for each correct attempt rather than being punished each time they fail. This principle holds true for people, too. We improve our performance faster with praise than with criticism. It seems to be a law of human behavior that how we act is contagious. In other words, if we are kind to others in our family, we receive kindness in return. It’s also true that our u...2020-09-0314 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to do Kind Deeds (cheerfully)Kind actions are anything we do to make a person’s life easier or happier without expecting a reward. Kind actions show concern and caring. When we show kindness in our family, we’re helping one another feel loved. When people feel loved, they can more easily show kindness to others.Our kind actions come from our thoughts--the desires we have to be good and loving. At the end of each day we should think, “How closely did my actions today match my good intentions to be kind?” Being aware of our actions will help us improve them day by d...2020-09-0109 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Speak with a Kind Tone of VoiceMany times it isn’t what is said, but rather how it’s said that makes people happy or unhappy. One way to show kindness is to use a gentle tone of voice when we speak. It takes great effort at times, but speaking kindly can become a habit. Our voices carry a great deal of power and send messages to those around us. When we speak loudly and harshly, people around us often feel upset. On the other hand, when we speak kindly it encourages feelings of love, calmness and respect. Discussion for the Family from...2020-08-2707 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Use Kind WordsWhen we speak negatively it focuses our attention on what is wrong with our world and our circumstances. It doesn’t help improve things, it makes our life worse.An unkind remark to another person can range from seemingly harmless to truly hurtful. The truth is, however, whether we’re being simply sarcastic or being cruel, the effects are similar. Both types of remarks leave the giver and the receiver feeling negative and critical. The reverse is also true. When we speak kindly of others it focuses our attention on their goodness. When we speak kindly of our circu...2020-08-2510 min
Solutions for FamiliesLesson for Families: How to Think Kind ThoughtsKind thoughts are pleasant ideas that lift the soul. They always come before kind words and actions. How we think determines how we act. If we want to become kinder people, the first step is to recognize that kindness, and unkindness, begin in our own minds. We can choose to think good thoughts, no matter what is happening around us.If we’re aware of our thoughts we can better control our words and actions. We need to be aware of what we’re thinking, and try to catch ourselves in the act of thinking unkind th...2020-08-2009 min
Solutions for FamiliesHow to Show Kindness in Your HomeKindness is the single most important ingredient in a happy home. As I have met with hundreds of families, spoken to numerous groups about family issues, and critically observed families for decades, I have come to know that kindness is indeed a foundational part of every happy home. Without kindness, the money and the time we give our families is meaningless. Where there is no kindness, all attempts at family solidarity are useless.Kindness can be shown in many ways, every day. We have countless opportunities to show kindness in the home. I’ve heard it said in diff...2020-08-1813 min
Solutions for FamiliesHow to Create Your Family Mission StatementA Family Mission Statement is like a family constitution. It is a statement of your beliefs and your goals as a family. It is the definition of the course you want your family to take. Once you have that sense of direction, you can set your long and short-term goals. You have the vision and values that direct your lives.Like all families, your family needs to have a clear understanding of where you are going. When you follow a plan, each day will be in harmony with the vision you have of your lives. The steps you ta...2020-08-1307 min
Solutions for FamiliesSample Family Meeting LessonLet's talk about a sample family lesson for your family meetings, using gratitude.Today we’re going to talk about gratitude. Gratitude is being thankful for who you are and for things you have. To begin, let’s each name some of the things for which we’re grateful.A man named Dale Carnegie once said, “Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. It isn’t what we have or who we are, or what we are doing that makes us happy or unhappy. It’s what we think about it. For example, t...2020-08-1107 min
Solutions for FamiliesHow to Have Fabulous Family MeetingsBuilding a successful family is like building a home. Both need a plan. A successful family based on unity and love takes careful planning, but it’s worth every moment.The best way to be organized as a family is to hold weekly family meetings. By doing this, families enjoy a special closeness and stability. Choosing to spend time with your family sends a message more powerful than words. Memories made together during this time will bond and sustain your family through the years. The family meeting should be an important part of every family’s weekly s...2020-08-0412 min
Solutions for FamiliesHow to Assess Your Family’s Strengths and WeaknessesThis family survey is designed to help families understand one another’s strengths, weaknesses, feelings and how each person views the family. When all family members honestly respond to the survey statements and talk about the results with kindness, the survey can be a powerful tool for family growth. Completing this survey is an important first step in assessing your family's strengths and weaknesses. Family members need to understand that it is perfectly all right to have different responses. There are no “right” or “wrong” responses. Family members’ numbers will often be different because even people in the same family...2020-07-3112 min
Solutions for FamiliesUp Close and Personal with PaulaI know family life can be really challenging. We all want to experience loving, lasting relationships with our children and grow our families to be strong and healthy. But it’s sometimes tough. Raising happy, confident children can be difficult! Trust me – I’ve walked your road, and I’ve felt many of the same struggles that you’re feeling now.The good news is – ANY family can be loving and peaceful. Over the course of 40+ years as a parenting expert I’ve seen even the most broken families unify. I’ve witnessed the weakest marriages come back and bloom i...2020-07-3008 min
Unlimited LifeHourglass Brides - Paula Fellingham, The WIN Big EventJoin us for 1 hour at 5 PM Eastern. Host Nicole Brandon is one of the most sought after speakers in the world today. From Health, and Wellness to Wealth and Ultimate Success her seemingly unlimited well of information is simply mind boggling. Nicole is known internationally for sharing her amazing secrets and remarkable knowledge on stage, screen, TV and in books throughout the world. Please visit Nicole's website: http://www.nicolebrandonworldwide.com/ Paula Fellingham, The WIN Big Event Here’s what we’re offering: Two days filled with world-class experts and mentors who care about sharing the breakthroughs, insights, wisdom, truths, and...2013-09-1558 min