Shows
UnDeletable Dad23. Peter Maestrey asks "Where's the gold in this heap of shit?"This is part 4 and the final installment of my conversation with filmmaker and podcaster Peter Maestrey. Peter's website is divorcethefirstsix.com and you'll find all his podcast episodes there. It's also available wherever you listen.
There's still time to register for "LIONTAMER: Win Back The Love And Loyalty Of Your Alienated Teenager". To learn more or to get on the waitlist for the next time I run this offer, shoot me a message at tracy@undeletabledad.com.
1:1 coaching is available by referral or invitation. Visit undeletabledad.com to request a free discovery call.
2022-04-1422 min
Essential Stepmom PodcastESP 9.9 Peter Maestrey exposes the unspoken ruleThis is part two of my conversation with filmmaker Peter Maestrey about his journey through and past divorce. He shares how he dealt with other people telling him how to feel about his divorce and how he got on with creating the life he's always wanted.
Peter's podcast is called Divorce - The First Six Months and you can find it through his website, https://divorcethefirstsix.
You can reach me on my private email info@essentialstepmom or tracy@undeletabledad.com.
Coaching is available for stepmoms, and dads can access my exclusive 6-month parenting...
2021-06-2240 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter Maestrey05 WEEKEND NUGGET - JournalingThe WEEKEND NUGGET is a different format to the conversation of Divorce: The First Six Months that will come out every Friday till it doesn't. I will cover the details of what to expect from divorce while sharing another piece of what I did in my story. The goal is to source all the information our guests have shared and packaging it in a way that any human being can listen to an episode and be equipped to handle life a bit better by the end of it. There is so much that happens inside a divorce, e...
2021-03-0512 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMatt Kostel - Ep. 21.2 - I want my kids to see me with someone who makes me happy.In this episode we travel with Matt into his therapy sessions, the moment when he decided the marriage wasn’t worth it, and the reasons that he had for staying as long as he did. He talks about the changes that happened, how covid has changed the landscape with his own mother babysitting and the new commitment for his kids.At the end of the episode, he gives credit to his ex for something. You really want to find out what that is. All this and more in this episode.
2021-03-0312 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMatt Kostel - Ep. 21.1 - Literally from womb to birth we were in marriage counselingSay hello to Matt Kostel, the kid from Queens that moved to Brooklyn shares his story of what happened and the harsh realities of getting a divorce, his process and how he created pure gold. He begins by sharing that his first six months were some of his most honest moments and ends with how he thought having kids would make it better.He talks about how he sat on his hands and swallowed his pride, and then takes responsibility for how he got there. Sharing about the ripple effect of how things filtered through him onto...
2021-03-0110 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter Maestrey04 WEEKEND NUGGET - Keeping RecordsThe WEEKEND NUGGET is a new format to the conversation of Divorce: The First Six Months that will come out every Friday till it doesn't. I will cover the details of what to expect from divorce while sharing another piece of what I did in my story. The goal is to source all the information our guests have shared and packaging it in a way that any human being can listen to an episode and be equipped to handle life a bit better by the end of it. There is so much that happens inside a divorce, e...
2021-02-2611 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyChris Northup - Episode 20.5 - The kids can’t process your issues with your ex.In this episode Chris speaks the truth and uncovers some of the things he did that felt horrible when he did them. He shares how he went from being destructive to understanding with the ex, the step dad and himself. I could write more, but the simple truth about divorce is what this episode is all about. Get help. Don't do it alone.Listen to this episode and share it. This is the episode where you really see and hear a man who has endured some @#$% share about his journey and how he is a better man...
2021-02-2412 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyChris Northup - Episode 20.4 - We can’t get a divorce, we have two kids, we have to stay togetherIn this episode we talk about kids, life lessons, and experience. Chris talks about therapy and the work he had to do to get to where he is today. Being a man meant letting go of the little boy and admitting where he didn’t know what to do. In the conversation he mentions how “your feet have to take you to the solution” and I believe this episode is just that. It’s the feet that take you to his solutions. Listen till the end, he gets really exposed and says some things you shouldn’t say, but af...
2021-02-2213 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter Maestrey03 WEEKEND NUGGET - Counseling or Therapy?The WEEKEND NUGGET is a new format to the conversation of Divorce: The First Six Months that will come out every Friday till it doesn't. Hopefully, if it succeeds, we will cover the details of what to expect from divorce while sharing another piece of what we did in our stories. A one on one recap of what happened, what we did, and what we would do differently inside a specific topic.The goal is to source all the information our guests have shared so generously in hope of packaging it in a way that any human b...
2021-02-1910 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyChris Northup - Ep. 20.3 - Write a paragraph of what your life looks like in five years.In this episode we open with an aggressive threat and end with a loving support. Chris really cements the importance of having actionable tools as opposed to thoughts or good spirits. He talks about how he grew up and how that influences how he parents. He mentions the value in being of service and how he creates that for himself and practices it in his philosophy. He talks about his ex and her new man and what that was like. How the idea of what he thought to do and what he actually did, which was to a...
2021-02-1713 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyChris Northup - Ep. 20.2 - I had an awesome group of men who advised meIn this episode we talk about tools. What Chris had and didn’t have available to him and we he could do to navigate himself away from being a victim of the drama. He talks about what acceptance is like and how investing in himself gave him strength. How details how he shaped it and in that process it provided him a loving perspective, which gave the day to day an easier way of living . It was noticing how powerless he was, putting one foot in front of the other, and praying for his ex to have gre...
2021-02-1512 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter Maestrey02 WEEKEND NUGGET - "What to do first"The WEEKEND NUGGET is a new format to the conversation of Divorce: The First Six Months that will come out every Friday till it doesn't. Hopefully, if it succeeds, we will cover the details of what to expect from divorce while sharing another piece of what we did in our stories. A one on one recap of what happened, what we did, and what we would do differently inside a specific topic.The goal is to source all the information our guests have shared so generously in hope of packaging it in a way that any human b...
2021-02-1212 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyChris Northup - Ep. 20.1 - the first six months I wore that victim thing like a badge.Say hello to Chris Northup, a father of two beautiful kids and a dual divorcee. As a friend and a colleague, Chris has represented leadership and laughter since I’ve known him. This is the first time we learn of his story and what he endured during the first marriage. I am both amazed and shocked. He starts off almost immediately by admitting that he wore being a victim like a badge within his first six months. Told in a manner only a man who has accepted and taken account for his actions could. Then he talks abo...
2021-02-1011 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJenni Kephart - Ep. 19.5 - Forgive is such a loaded wordAs we reach the end of our time with Jenni, we touch on her foundation. How she embraced the small changes made so that she could love herself. The importance of how you behave in the good times and the bad and how those are the times that make you who you are. She expresses how grateful she is and how when things seemed like they were going wrong, it was the fastest way to get to the life she wanted. She talks about the healing process and how it has been rewarding and beautiful for her. A...
2021-02-0820 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyWEEKEND NUGGET - "What just happened"?The WEEKEND NUGGET is a new format to the conversation of Divorce: The First Six Months that will come out every Friday till it doesn't. Hopefully, if it succeeds, we will cover the details of what to expect from divorce while sharing another piece of what we did in our stories. A one on one recap of what happened, what we did, and what we would do differently inside a specific topic.The goal is to source all the information our guests have shared so generously in hope of packaging it in a way that any human b...
2021-02-0510 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJenni Kephart - Ep. 19.4 - I couldn’t say no to anyone who expressed any sort of interest meIn this episode, Jenni details what it was like to overcome the experiences in her divorce that took place within herself. Where she drew inspiration from and how she sees society has shaped how we view struggle. She talks about how she couldn’t say no to anyone who showed interest in her and why. How she transformed that way of being and where she had to look to do it. She talks about the importance of having support and also of doing the work she had to do in order to get to her best SELF. She sh...
2021-02-0315 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJenni Kephart - Ep. 19.3 - “ I was hiding from the truth”In this episode we explore how it was never her intention of ending the marriage. What was important for the healing process to take hold and how she chose to not place herself in this kind of situation anymore. It’s about seeing a future worth living into and taking the steps, one at a time, to grow from the past that had you being less than the potential. This conversation is so good that if you will want to listen to it many times over.
2021-02-0112 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJenni Kephart - Ep. 19.2 - "I was caught up on this morality of keeping my promise"In this episode we discover how having an affair was the communication. It was how she told herself and him that she wasn’t happy. She details how if she had gone to that extent to communicate, imagine how big of a need there was to take care of herself. A need sometimes given less significance when guided to make something work. An illusion we often get advised on without the adviser knowing all the details. Since then, Jenni has done a lot of work to heal and forgive herself, along with everyone else that was involved. Insi...
2021-01-2913 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJenni Kephart - Ep. 19.1 - I stopped drinking the day I told him.In this episode we meet Jenni Kephart, who has been divorced for 10 years and is a mother of a beautiful four year old boy. This interview was very special for me because of the content we speak of and who Jenni is. When I learned that she had cheated on her then husband a nerve was struck on my side and it wasn’t till the end of episode 19.1 that I realized why. I had never spoken with someone or understood what someone who cheats goes through. I only knew how to blame them for doing it.Je...
2021-01-2712 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMaria Suarez - Ep. 18.5 - When I finally stopped asking the universe why.In this final episode with Maria we summed up the secrets to her successful divorce process. The story of what it takes. It is the episode that brings everything together within her story and allows you to be complete about what she went through, how she got there and who she needed to be to have what she has. It’s the episode that tells you what happens when you stop asking the universe "why?".Maria is a guest that I will always remember. My experience of listening to her gave me access to yet another layer of...
2021-01-2513 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMaria Suarez - Ep. 18.4 - I wish I would’ve just asked for help.In this episode we learn the importance of asking for help and how Maria found her ability to ask. She speaks about what she had to do and become in order to have help become available. How time and circumstance shaped who she would become as a person.She shares her story about being overweight and her then drinking problem. How having her head right was the only answer to her most visible problem, her weight. She shares about what the weight signified and how letting it go also gave her access to let go of other stu...
2021-01-2215 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMaria Suarez - Ep. 18.3 - We struggled a lot with fertility and having kidsIn this episode we define how Maria went from rolex and yachts to not knowing how to set a goal. How being lonely is a choice and the point in the divorce where she just gave up and didn’t want the fight anymore. She explains how she was about to give it all away just to have peace. Then, on her 10th anniversary she walked into a lawyers office and learned that writing a letter to her husband would give her the ____________ she was searching for. She explains how in that letter she learned how _________ no lon...
2021-01-2014 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMaria Suarez - Ep. 18.2 - I was addicted to this feeling of feeling terrible.In this episode we learn that on Maria's 40th birthday, the marriage began to fall apart. After a life of being raised to want the three kids and the beautiful home, she was thinking that she had failed for not reaching that dream. She was convinced and had told herself repeatedly that she wanted those things. It was not until she went to the root of her problems, to the breaking point, that she really analyzed it and discovered everything she faulted came back to her. To her anger issues, her resentments. It was all her.She t...
2021-01-1812 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMaria Suarez - Ep. 18.1 - I wasn’t being a wife. I was being a roommateIn this episode we meet Maria Suarez, who was married for 9 years and together for a total of 11 years before their divorce. When she moved cross country to try and disappear the problems of her then marriage. Reality soon set in as life continued to follow them from the East coast to the West. She says “the first six months for me I could explain it as I’ve never cried more in my entire life”. She explains how she came undone when her divorce was becoming final and what that felt like, and what she did during the beginning.
2021-01-1510 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMichael Rahman - Ep. 17.5 - I have no regretsIn this last episode with Michael, he gives us the reasons he is in his current extraordinary relationship. He shares what he would do differently standing from today and looking back at what happened. How he would have paid attention to what was being said and the importance of keeping promises in existence. The beauty of this conversation and guests like Michael is the ability to hear stories of perseverance and triumph over the past. Michael says something that buttoned up his entire conversation in just a few sentences. He said, “We are human beings, we are goi...
2021-01-1118 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMichael Rahman - Ep. 17.4 - There is a lot of noise in my head.In this episode, we begin with Michael asking himself who he is each morning. His doubts about what life should look like and where he should be. Thoughts created by him and the noise inside his head. He shares how he would turn to food and how he thought that he was the thoughts he was having. How they felt real. How he thought his feelings were more than just feelings. He addresses how he declared himself to have power over his situation and where he failed in relationship and money. All this and more inside episode 17.4.
2021-01-0813 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMichael Rahman - Ep. 17.3 - Within 4 days I was out of the houseIn this episode, we learn how Michael learned distinctions to understand the difference between being committed and not attached to what was happening around him. His willingness to explore and to let go while being responsible for what he calls “being a dick”. He shares about what it was like crying in the parking lot at work before entering and his reluctance to coping with the situation. He explains how he wanted to feel the reality of what happened, the heartbreak of it. In this episode, you start to hear how his responsibility begins to uncove...
2021-01-0610 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMichael Rahman - Ep. 17.2 - I come from a very broken homeIn this episode, we begin to understand how the context of marriage was disempowering for Michael. Having come from a broken home he had blocked a lot out. How he chose to deal with things only had two options for him. He was either angry or he was hungry. Those were his options. It wasn’t until he began to take notice and start to be responsible for his actions that he realized how to be responsible. As a listener, I imagine what it must be like to hear Michael share something so personal. As his story dev...
2021-01-0410 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMichael Rahman - Ep. 17.1 - I was running out of people to blame.Welcome to 2021, and to a new beginning for all of us, as a collective conversation. It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to Michael Rahman. A successful coach and father of two. In 2010 he hit rock bottom while going through a divorce and had to learn quickly that he was bankrupt and running out of people to blame in his life. With only 14 social media friends, 9 of them being family. He began to realize that what was not working in his life was a direct reflection of who he was. What Michael did is a g...
2021-01-0110 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyNancy Benitez - Ep. 16.5 - I was searching for something I had all alongIn this last episode we reflect on the things that helped Nancy, like journaling and meditation. She was lucky to have several outlets where she could work on herself, but recalls how sometimes it was so loud in her head that even meditating would make it worse. She had to learn to keep finding the ways that did work. When we talked about what marriage meant to her now, after two divorces she wasted no time in sharing that marriage and having a beautiful relationship are not dependent on each other. It was also reassuring to hear he...
2020-12-1314 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyNancy Benitez - Ep. 16.4 - Feel the fear and do it anyway.In this episode we dive deep into the shit of it. We go in depth with Nancy towards the moment when she had to decide for a second time that divorce was going to be in the future again. From the official talk that set it in motion all the way to standing in the shit and having to surrender to not knowing what the outcome could be. She gives us insights into what that fear was like and how she chose to handle it. Nancy speaks about the fear she felt and how she ha...
2020-12-1013 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyNancy Benitez - Ep. 16.3 - I didn't feel the need to take him for everything.In this episode we discuss being happy, listening to yourself, having kids and how divorce was an opportunity to start over for Nancy. She explains what she discovered and what she had to do so she could be aligned with herself. She shares some of the tools she distinguished to accomplish such a task and how to apply them. She had been with husband number two for roughly twenty-two years, she had a beautiful daughter with him and when it was time to call it, she did it without hating him, nor did she resent him. She wa...
2020-12-0713 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyNancy Benitez - Ep. 16.2 - The landlord told my husband I was cheating on him.In this episode we learn that the landlord was suggesting that Nancy was cheating to her husband became the tipping point for the relationship to end. At the time she needed more affection and more connection, but instead he gave blame and showed insecurity, which motivated them to divorce. Nancy explains what single life was like after the decision was final and the importance of allowing yourself to grieve. She shared how doing things she loved really opened her up to enjoying life again and that she was single for a long time. A huge component to he...
2020-12-0411 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyNancy Benitez - Ep. 16.1 - Even my father asked “Are you sure?”Say hello to Nancy Benitez. Founder of MANifest, Soul & Body Coaching and Retreats for men. Overall, she has been divorced two times and when our interview started we quickly went to the source of what had her be with the same type of man, not once, but twice. But in order to get to that part of her story, you should know a little about where her story began.Nancy had just turned 19 and she knew her first husband was not the right person for her, but she did it anyways, she got married so that she...
2020-12-0109 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Redfield - Ep. 15.5 - A big part of healing is feeling.In this episode we ask Kelly if she would do it all over again. Her answer like many before her was… Kelly goes into detail about her decision about doing it all over again and really emphasizes the importance of listening to your intuition and trusting that the world will open up for you. She speaks about the way fear operates and what you can do to have freedom around it. How the journey has been both ugly and beautiful at the same time.When asked about her life now, she said that she loves bei...
2020-11-2811 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Redfield - Ep. 15.4 - Most of the fear is just worst case scenario thinking.In this episode we talk about fear and the different areas it shows up in like parenting, learning who you are and the reality of being single and parenting. What discipline look likes when not having the support of your spouse. Kelly does a great job at sharing what it was like for her to discover a structure that worked for her and also how she discovered that speaking her truth lessened the weight of expectations. She explains how having conversations is the most important thing to do and trying to authentically communicate with a partner around w...
2020-11-2512 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Redfield - Ep. 15.3 - What doesn’t kill you , makes you stronger. There is a silver lining in the experience.In this episode we explore what it is like to go from marriage, to divorce, and then to co-parenting. In the beginning Kelly recalls not really knowing who she was, while her ex was colder and harsher once the divorce began to take shape. Because they grew up together, she feels they were able to find a friendship in the process and as a result of that she is currently friends with him and his current wife.Kelly’s belief is that what we experience is on purpose, placed in our path to help us work out an...
2020-11-2211 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Redfield - Ep. 15.2 - I just got to be sad for a week.In this episode we learn that Kelly’s mom recommended a week long grief therapy once the divorce was final. We discover how it played a pivotal role with Kelly and how she learned to handle the pain while building coping skills for life in general. She also shares how important it was for her to not have to worry about cooking or responsibilities and allow herself to be sad for that week. She speaks about what she discovered in that time and how she became aware of her unconscious and then being conscious, understanding her personality struc...
2020-11-1912 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Redfield - Ep. 15.1 - Childhood sweethearts. He was the only person I ever dated.Meet Kelly Redfield, a mother of two beautiful girls, newly re-married after being divorced for 8 years and a life coach, entrepreneur and all around Alabama native. She met her ex when she was 14 and married at 21. She explains how “We did decide to marry because we didn’t really feel like our families let us be adults until we married. I didn’t even go on vacations with them, so this was our way to take our relationship to the next level but we didn’t necessarily understand what that meant because we were looking at it with teenage eyes”.
2020-11-1610 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Chang Rickert - Ep. 14.5 - Don’t make decisions when you are angry.In our last episode with Kelly we hear her say that she knows people are good, that they don’t want to be hateful. She also shares what she assumes is her role in the process, which is to not make them hateful, her job is to move them on. She makes it a point to clarify that she is not trained to do psychology, but she knows a lot of good therapists.Her one consistent advice is that you don’t make decisions when you are angry. Kelly then shares a success story of a 70...
2020-11-1309 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Chang Rickert - Ep. 14.4 - If you go to a lawyer angry...In this episode Kelly talks about how she wants to not care, but she actually does care about her divorce clients. Even the ones that come across angry, she cares because they are hurting. She talks about how everybody is hurting and wants justice, but how she just wants to tell them "you are not going to get that in court, there is a limit to what the law can do." The law can never punish the husband for cheating. The law can never punish the wife for getting pregnant if you are not there. She also b...
2020-11-1012 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Chang Rickert - Ep. 14.3 - Generally, the courts believe that the kids deserve a mom and a dad.In this episode we talked about the limitations within the law. How, however you are prior to the divorce with your kids will most likely remain the same within the law. Kelly explains why in California there is a six month waiting period and when it actually starts. She shares how If people would stop fighting, then lawyers would stop making money. She makes it very clear that it starts with you, so don’t blame your lawyer for something you did. She explains how the paperwork for a divorce is a walk in the park, reaching an agreement bet...
2020-11-0710 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Chang Rickert - Ep. 14.2 - Everybody is on their worst behavior when they are going through a divorce.In this episode we discuss how people behave within a divorce. The options you have available to you from a family law perspective and some of the differences within those options. She really gets detailed on the importance of the attorney’s role and how she specifically navigates her process. Which begins with an hour of counsel where you learn about your options and go over the law for your divorce case.She informs us of where we could go to find support from the city of Los Angeles if you cannot afford an attorney and offers up...
2020-11-0412 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyKelly Chang Rickert - Ep. 14.1 - You're supposed to hire an attorney to help you move on, to uncouple.Get ready to meet Divorce Attorney Kelly Chang Rickert as she explains in detail all the things you should and could expect from someone in her profession. She also shares some valuable insights into the reality of getting a divorce and how it can get ugly. This is the episode that really preps you for understanding what a divorce attorney does and does not do, which she explains vividly. Kelly is going to break down what she does, what she has seen others do, and what she believes the responsibility of the divorce lawyer is. She educates y...
2020-11-0110 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyStephane Jutras - Ep. 12.5 - The last thing on my mind was dating, there was zero interest on that front.In this last episode with Stephane, we polish up the importance of needing a plan. He recalled how his lawyer said to him that on paper he was bankrupt and how that had him make a plan. He created a daily budget, which helped him get back on his feet and allowed him to know where he was going. He also speaks about dating and how that was not a focus for him till he was ready. After being married for 20 years he shares how he didn’t know what to do. How you have to be rea...
2020-10-2913 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyStephane Jutras - Ep. 12.4 - Even if i wanted to talk to people I didn’t know how to.In this episode we start to hear what it was like for Stephane to communicate what he was going through. We talk about the challenges of sharing and where he wishes he would have talked more. How in his mind he didn’t even know what friend he could talk to. We also learn that the divorce was a second chance for him to do the things he had wanted to but never did, like the podcast and opening his own business. How he filled up the gaps in his life that were empty and why all of t...
2020-10-2612 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyStephane Jutras - Ep. 12.3 - How will I manage my life, how will I make it?In this episode we talk about what he did to deal with stress and anxiety. Working from his new home made things worse, because he was in one spot indoors for so long, so he began to walk as much as three times a day. His kids laughed, but that opened the door to communication with them. He talks about what it was like to go on those walks and what it meant to him and his healing process. We start to hear where he began to turn things around for himself and how he reached his o...
2020-10-2312 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyStephane Jutras - Ep. 12.2 - I think kids are very smart and sometimes we underestimate them.In this episode we talk about the reality of moving on and what that looks like. From the new apartment, to the kids eventually moving in with him full time. He shares how rough it was being alone for the first time and how he didn’t waste time when he had visitations with the kids. He shares how relieved he felt when the divorce was final and the signatures were completed. He felt like he could finally start thinking about himself, now that he knew what to expect from the future from a legal perspective. We...
2020-10-2012 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyStephane Jutras - Ep. 12.1 - In the end I conceded to a lot of things because it had to end.Say hello to Stephane Jutras. A divorced man and father of two teenagers. A business owner and fellow podcaster. I am excited that you have the opportunity to meet him and hear his story. He is a man who has found his voice within this topic labeled divorce and shares it freely, both to me and his own audience on his podcast. It was refreshing to find someone else who has braved the experience and created something out of it who appreciates what he learned along the way. Embracing the good and the bad.You can find...
2020-10-1713 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJill Gulotta - Ep. 11.4 - I have struggled with unhealthy eating habits and disordered eating, especially through my divorce.In this episode we learn that sometimes what we go through in life has a reason and Jill shares some of hers. From struggling with unhealthy eating habits to being grateful for the experience of marriage and divorce. It is all part of the journey and journaling was her way of releasing it.Being in a position where she can now help others through her coaching has given her an opportunity to grow and make herself happy. She speaks about accepting the situation that you are in and how it may seem hard but she advises that...
2020-10-1411 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJill Gulotta - Ep. 11.3 - I don’t think he is a good father, but to them he is superman.In this episode we look at what it is like for the kids. The importance of respecting them and them respecting you. We talk about the dad and how the kids view him. Jill decided to not discredit the dad, but if they ever ask about him, she will say what is true for her. She talks about how getting angry is only hurting yourself. “My emotion, my reaction, my blowing up does not change his behavior, All it does is get me upset.” This episode reveals the logic behind releasing your ex and allowing who they are b...
2020-10-1108 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJill Gulotta - Ep. 11.2 - I don’t wish this upon anybody.In this episode we talk about how Jill wanted her then husband to be in the marriage but he was showing himself to her and she had to decide. She had to choose while being stuck in this place of uncertainty. She recalls wishing that someone would just tell her what to do. “You start to mourn what you thought you would have and in reality you never had that, you never had this dream or family dynamic so you start to grieve what you thought it should have looked like instead of the reality of what it was.” ...
2020-10-0816 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJill Gulotta - Ep. 11.1 - You are only in control of you.Jill Gulotta is an East Coast bomb dropping rawness that tastes better than sashimi. She walks us through her first six months in detail sharing from the turmoil to the expectations. Immediately, we get deep in the conversation and what is revealed is a slice of life that anyone who has gone through divorce can relate to. In this interview you learn who Jill is and you can hear her passion for how she got herself to where she is today. Jill was divorced in 2018 and has two handsome young men who are her world. She also he...
2020-10-0314 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyPeter Maestrey - Ep. 10.5 - “I am worthy of being loved”.In this episode, I speak about what is important to me now. How I view marriage and what I want next. I share about what I find to be the core of what I value and look forward to and detail as descriptively as I know to be possible what I consider sage advice. I acknowledge the good that came from the union with her and why I am committed to being an advocate for divorce being an opportunity.My Peter Pan story completes in a Disney ending with a powerful message to anyone, anywhere that is...
2020-10-0113 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyPeter Maestrey - Ep. 10.4 - Did she do things that hurt me, yes. Did she not honor our vowels, yes.In this episode, I talk about my perspective on divorce and the process. It became a business transaction, it wasn’t personal once I knew what she had done and was doing. We made a contract and now we were breaking it. I began to train myself to separate church and state while still living with her and her daughter. In that process, I discovered that you can pollute yourself or you can educate yourself. But ultimately, you have a responsibility to yourself. So that is what I did, I educated myself and the more I learned the less I...
2020-09-2910 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyPeter Maestrey - Ep. 10.3 - You are a liar and a cheater and that’s who you are.In this episode, I take you from finding out it was over to forming my strategy for leaving and keeping the house. I leave no detail out and give you full access to what I did to separate myself from what was happening and what I wanted to happen. You learn about what I wanted, what she wanted, and how all that information defined the exit strategy without lawyers or turmoil in the midst of an emotional hurricane. Overall, this shows you how quickly things change when hope is no longer alive. It shares what you have p...
2020-09-2717 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyPeter Maestrey - Ep. 10.2 - She told me she wanted to have my baby. Once we bought the house, got married and started her business I never heard those words again.In this episode, I reflect on the moment when it all began, the first memory of when my spirit noticed something was off and the matrix had a glitch. I share about how I was told that she wanted to have a baby with me up until the house went under her name and I was married on paper. I reflect on how I blamed myself for everything as if it was my fault for trying, while all the clues in her language and behavior said otherwise. From how she spoke of her daughter stifling her career to the...
2020-09-2519 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyPeter Maestrey - Ep. 10.1 - Two months after we got married is when it started to fall apart.Hi! My name is Peter Maestrey and I am an accomplished filmmaker, a Podcaster, and a Divorce Coach. When this journey began, I looked at what the world had to offer me as a man going through a divorce and found nothing of value. Everyone was selling me something, but not what I needed. So, I decided to transform and educate myself and others. I logged my experience and distinguished what worked and what didn’t and began speaking about it. I learned so much about myself through others that I decided to begin listening on a bigger scale. It...
2020-09-2318 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyDavid Paul - Ep. 9.2 - 43 years of marriage and I never had a separate bank account.In this episode, David explains how his ex took early retirement while he continued to work and how the gradual progression of complaints and unrest slowly chipped away at the core of their marriage. He sensed something, but kept on. Then, one day while checking the accounts, 80k was gone. He informs us how in India, where he is from when you get married, two become one. He didn’t expect it, but nonetheless it happened. He talks about the importance of being involved in the finances. He also shares how he was served when the divorce became a re...
2020-09-1417 minDivorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyDavid Paul - Ep. 9.4 - I have two ways of blowing off steam.In this episode we learn about the man and what he did to cope. He tells us about what he learned, what he would do differently and what his new outlook is on life. He shares some good advice and gives us hope as listeners. When you listen to David Paul, remind yourself that he is a 70 plus year old man, married for 43 years who is recently divorced and talks about life after divorce as a new beginning. It is inspiring, bold and beautiful to know we have access to David's story, enjoy!
2020-09-1418 minDivorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyDavid Paul - Ep. 9.3 - We lived in the same house but we never saw each other.In this episode we explore the length of the divorce. How they lived together and never saw each other, even on the days they went to court. David talks about how she hired a high priced lawyer and how he had to separate home and work life to get through the day. He quickly learned the importance of having a good lawyer and asking the right question when you hire one. “No matter how much you prepare for something, it’s like, reality hit, it’s happening.”
2020-09-1417 minDivorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyDavid Paul - Ep. 9.1 - As an Accountant, he knew where the pitfalls were.Meet David T. Paul. He is a Tax Accountant in the Los Angeles area with over 50 years of business experience and now divorced after 42 years of marriage. He is over 70 years of age and just recently became single again. In this interview we learn a great deal about what to do, and what to expect from divorce. David tells us from his experience what it was like adapting to the change. His advice is that if you have many assets, you should hire a great attorney and consult with your accountant to better understand what your options are. He e...
2020-09-1414 min
The Divorced Dad DiariesEpisode 11 - Interview with Peter MaestreyIn this episode, I have the pleasure to talk to Peter Maestrey, host of the new podcast Divorce - The First Six Months.
Peter is a divorced man with no children who believes that within every loss we have the ability to gain.
Peter was kind enough to come on the show to have a chat and also share his story as a divorced man, and how his journey made him a better person after all.
You can also listen to his podcast and listen to his guests at: www.DivorceTheFirstSix.com
2020-09-0658 minDivorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyCarrie Pyle Lawrence - Ep. 8.2 - Something inside me said there is no way this was going to define me.In this episode Carrie says “The hardest thing for me in this was not knowing what I wanted. The biggest struggle was not having direction, I felt very lost. That is what motivated me searching for new friendships and learning.” she explains how when you are vulnerable, you open yourself up to criticism. She adds “I wish i would’ve taken more ownership of my life and myself and not been so sacrificial in all of it.” She shares how she didn’t do the things she could’ve done to make herself happy.
2020-09-0317 minDivorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyCarrie Pyle Lawrence - Ep. 8.1 - I found out about a long term affair and my mother died within the same week.Meet Carrie, A Florida girl rooted in Los Angeles who prefers beach chairs over fancy couches. She is a mother of two beautiful girls and a TV Producer who made divorce and all the elements that come with it an opportunity to help others. As she says “Living in a big city, being financially independent, being a single mom. All of those things in the first six months seemed just insurmountable.” We will learn how she had a lack of self confidence and a lack of feeling worthy, and a lack of being enough all mixed into what became her...
2020-09-0314 minDivorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyCarrie Pyle Lawrence - Ep. 8.3 - Co-parenting is not about two parents getting along, its’ about two parents doing what is best for the kids.Carrie talks about how she likes who she is and how she is not afraid of speaking her mind or of being vulnerable. She shares how writing letters to the people who hurt her was healing for her, but she did not share it with them. She wrote only for the sake of purging. She talks about how her mom passing and the divorce happening at the same time had her feel like a wounded animal, wanting to go back home to Florida. She shared how her lawyer gave her the best advice. The lawyer said...
2020-09-0316 minDivorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyCarrie Pyle Lawrence - Ep. 8.4 - There was a $2000 charge from Tiffany's near valentines day.In our last episode with Carrie she shares an important insight. How everytime you think you fail, it's actually not a failure but an opportunity to pivot. She talks about her intuition and how she didn’t listen to it. How she knew her ex was being unfaithful but she wasn’t willing to recognize it. "The relationship wasn’t what it needed to be." The emotional connection was severed, he was invested in someone else. As she tells her story she says “He couldn’t have been happy because i was miserable.” The beauty about this conversation...
2020-09-0313 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyLuis Moro - Ep. 7.1 - I am never going to debate someone not wanting to be with meIn this episode we meet Luis Moro, an entrepreneur, award winning filmmaker, father of two beautiful girls and an author of several books. He explains how divorce was an incredible reinvention tour and how your vocabulary is going to keep you in the trap you are in. He explains how he found himself not trying to have his ex be like his father who...
2020-08-2012 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyLuis Moro - Ep. 7.2 - One person’s fear is another person’s joy ride.In this episode we dive deeper into Luis, the human being and language. How important it is to understand that you are who you say you are. Luis also shares how he was never going to deny his experience of love for her, not even if...
2020-08-2019 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyLuis Moro - Ep. 7.3 - I never wanted to have my daughters experience their father hating their mother.This episode reveals how Luis was a stand for his daughter’s not experiencing him hating their mother. He did everything possible for his ex to be successful. It's not healthy to have one half of the kids parents being unhealthy. He explains how he surrendered the decade in order to be present for his daughters growing up in their critical years. We also learn how anything anyone ever says to him is taken as a contribution, even if...
2020-08-2019 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyLuis Moro - Ep. 7.4 - Co-parenting is Bull, the whole concept is a complete lie.In this final episode with Luis we learn what his thoughts on co-parenting are, how it takes two people to make a relationship work, and one to mess it up. He shares how life is a gift and not a debt. When I asked how he is with his ex cheating on him, he replied “c’mon, I have”…
2020-08-2022 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMisty - Ep. 6.2 - The only person that I owe something to is meIn this episode Misty recalls the thing she had been running from her whole life. How she owed no one but herself. She shared how she was able to get the rest of her life out of getting divorced.
2020-08-0614 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMisty - Ep. 6.3 - I’m leaving a guy who just went through rehab, I’m an asshole.In this episode Misty explains how the biggest thing they argued over in the divorce was who got the Nirvana import CD’s. She speaks about how they both had guilt, him for what he put her through and her for leaving. She explains how in the end it was...
2020-08-0614 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMisty - Ep. 6.4 - We need to trust our internal compassIn this episode we learn how Misty felt like she loved herself more back when she was getting divorced. How trusting your gut is important and to never doubt yourself. She shares how evolving as a human being is not an easy process. We also learn that she has taken some of the worlds biggest band on tour and that had she not gotten divorced, that was not...
2020-08-0616 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMisty - Ep. 6.5 - He was my favorite person to go do things with...In this episode we summarize the experience and talk about her relationship after the divorce. The process of getting to know yourself again and her relationship to sadness. Loss was not something unfamiliar to her. In the end she leaves us with “everybody should cry”.
2020-08-0614 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMisty - Ep. 6.1 - I was too young to know myself and I definitely didn’t know him.In this episode we meet Misty Roberts, who is 20 years divorced and remembers what happened as if it were yesterday. She tells us about how she distanced herself, what she did after he hit her and why she stayed with him after rehab. Her story is that of rock legends and therapists. The best part was when she said...
2020-08-0614 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyErin McClain - Ep. 5.1 - Learning my triggers helped me navigate meErin McLain is a mother of twins and successful business woman. She shares how the nature of her marriage was of psychological abuse and how when she broke free from that she could finally breathe again. She talks about what she did to grow from the fancy gym to the workshops and training seminars. She talks about how the type of trauma she had experienced was stuck in her body at a...
2020-07-2313 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyErin McClain - Ep. 5.5 - There is nobody who is immune to the pain that is divorceIn this episode Erin tells us she would one thousand percent do it all over again. She has a real relationship herself as a result of it. She explains why she believes her kids will have an extraordinary life as a result of the divorce and how important it is to have a co-civil relationship for the kids. Overall, Erin does an incredible job of explaining the importance of being who you want to be inside of your own humanity. She gives insight into what it takes to be a single mom with twins that exited her relationship with...
2020-07-2312 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyErin McClain - Ep. 5.4 - The rat in the woodpile was my marriageIn this episode we learn the importance of what a previous tax return means in regard to alimony payments and how much Erin liked going out into the world and saying she was married. She wanted everyone to know she was married, she wore the ring like a badge of honor. She talks about the single most important thing to do is trust yourself and the constant looking outside herself to fix herself was completely useless. She also shares that the rat in the wood pile was...
2020-07-2311 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyErin McClain - Ep.5.3 - This is going to be the thing we fall on the sword forIn this episode Erin shares about working with relationship coaches and how she was controlled and manipulated with money even though she earned more than him. How reading a book and by the end of the first chapter she knew it was over. She talks about how she subconsciously sabotaged the relationship accidentally on purpose because she “wouldn’t have had the balls to end it”. She also shares a deep dark truth about her...
2020-07-2309 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyErin McClain - Ep.5.2 - A friend told he was abusive, that is when I realized...In this episode we learn about how counseling was the same early in the marriage as it was in the end. How she was told she was being abused because she couldn’t see it and she gives details on how she was manipulated and controlled. She gives insight into being with a narcissist and how the more they do it the more she was convinced it was her causing the issues. She also shares programs where she attended that helped her heal and move on to...
2020-07-2311 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMadeline Rozwat - Ep.4.5 - Blocking things out is just blocking you outIn this episode Madeline shares the importance of instinct and trusting your gut before getting married. She talks about having self awareness about you are saying and why when speaking to others. She also shares what she would do differently if she had to do it all over again.
2020-07-1009 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMadeline Rozwat - Ep.4.4 - I wanted to be divorced sooner, then he…In this episode we talk about her separation process in the F6M and how they both wanted a clean divorce. Madeline shares who got the dog and why. We learn about how important it is to set boundaries with lawyers and how it sometimes takes a podcast to have one more important conversation with our sister. She concludes this episode how her and the Ex both had doubts before the wedding about...
2020-07-1010 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMadeline Rozwat - Ep.4.3 - Work, Play, Friends. They are all necessary.In this episode you will learn how Madeline viewed exercising and what the outcome of consistency is over the long term. She talks about balance and focus and how it is all necessary to keep you grounded. She also shares something very personal about how she felt within the marriage. How when the divorce was final she could finally relax and not have to...
2020-07-1011 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMadeline Rozwat - Ep.4.2 - I had no expectationsIn this episode we talk about how the divorce was mutual and how the process of others influenced her. “Sometimes you have to cut people out because they can’t deal with it”. She goes on to share how listening to a song can trigger a memory and shares that what hurt the most after divorce was learning her ex had...
2020-07-1010 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMadeline Rozwat - Ep.4.1 - The beginning is messy and not linearIn this episode Madeline shares about living in San Francisco and what it was like without any single friends at the start of her divorce. She shares how building that community was important and how it made a difference for her. She then details her awareness on how much she talked about her divorce and the different friends with whom she shared.
2020-07-1010 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJohnny - Ep.3.2 - Her cheating gave me freedomIn this episode we learn how the routine of what you know changes immediately and how that chaos causes you to search for “why”. We examine the many things that the first month starts to reveal and what begins to take shape. Expecting communication breakdowns, self discovery and strategies are part of the process. He shares how learning about infidelity gave him the permission he needed to be selfish and start thinking of himself.
2020-06-2913 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJohnny - Ep.3.1 - The freak show of what happens now!n this episode Johnny Fumero talks us through the rollercoaster of the first six months. The emotional stages, how young he was going through it and the freak show that a divorce becomes. He shares about his father’s sage advice about how his father never lets him forget it. In the end, he tells us how in one split second he knew it was unrepairable. What did he learn to give him that freedom?
2020-06-2908 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJohnny - Ep.3.3 - I trust you 100% till you prove me wrongThis episode talks about the anxiety of waiting for it to be over and the importance of having a date when it’s done and over. Having a finality to it gives you a goal. He shares about how he suppressed the critical moments in the beginning with drinking and drugs to avoid reality and how that didn’t help him. In the end, Therapy was super important in helping him cope years later.
2020-06-2909 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJohnny - Ep.3.4 - “If it isn’t written, it isn’t true”In this episode things get twisted around and Johnny becomes the interviewer and I the interviewee. I share with him how chasing “why” and the importance of writing this down saved me from gaslighting. I also explain that writing things down saved me time and money when building a strategy for my exit. When you know what your choices you begin to become the mvp of your team again.
2020-06-2907 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyJohnny - Ep.3.5 - Do not give upThis episode has Johnny sharing how he prepped for the first six months and how no matter what someone tells you, it is when you accept what’s happening that you begin to understand. He talks about the timeframe in which he did everything, what gave him strength and how he bluffed and she folded. He ends his interview with inspiring words to someone about to go through a divorce by saying “Be who you were supposed to be”.
2020-06-2911 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyAlex - Ep.2.5 - Don't confuse the kidsIn this episode Alex speaks of the importance of being conscious around the kids. To not confuse them with your actions by introducing someone new. Let things settle and then introduce any new person you or your ex dates little by little. Try to keep the kids in the same structure or routine that they had prior to the divorce.
2020-06-2311 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyAlex - Ep.2.1 - I stayed for the kidsIn this episode Alex shares how long they were together, the time it took to separate and the day he knew it was over for him. He talks about the use of a lawyer and when he chose to begin the legal process. We learn about his guilt and why he stayed longer than he would have liked to.
2020-06-2309 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyAlex - Ep.2.2 - I think I did it well?In this episode we learn how Alex met his Ex-wife and shares about the road towards the inevitable divorce. Admitting along the way that the most important thing to him was for his kids to feel safe. When asked if he would do anything differently, he replied...
2020-06-2307 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyAlex - Ep.2.3 - Partners will never be parents to our kidsIn this episode we explore communication and what could have been done differently. The cost of falling into routine and the importance of staying calm. Alex goes on to share how once he told his truth he had the feeling of a hug weight being lifted from his shoulders.
2020-06-2311 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyAlex - Ep.2.4 - As a child I went through a divorceIn this episode Alex speaks of how his father joined a group when he went through his divorce. He talks about guilt and feeling wrong. He goes on to say how the two most important people in a child’s point of view are their parents. Kids should not be part of the divorce, you should keep your arguments private.
2020-06-2310 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMom - Letting go of the physical personIn the first ever interview for this podcast my mom Rosi Maestrey tells us of the exact moment she knew she wanted a divorce and how she distinguished it. She talks about what it was like to walk into an empty space and how she never saw any effort from her then partner towards saving the marriage. It was then she asked a very important question most of us ask ourselves. Did she want to live the rest of her life like this?
2020-06-1208 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMom - Ep.1.2 - I married Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeThe moral of this episode is that when you love them, you make excuses. Rosi talks about her self esteem being attacked and how she learned to get it back. She was always stressed out and didn't realize why.
2020-06-1209 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMom - Ep.1.3 - I was treated like a porcelain doll, and then we got married.When asked would she do it all over again Rosi replied "I'd run and not wait so many years". It wasn't until she began to peel the onion of her relationship did she begin to see him for who he was. She talks about valuing yourself and letting the other person go. She goes on to say that "Once we really see them, it doesn't hurt anymore".
2020-06-1207 min
Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter MaestreyMom - Ep. 1.4 - You shouldn't settle13 years of marriage ended with Rosi choosing to not live like that anymore. She felt lost, as if someone had taken something from her. She shares the experience of what it was like to blame herself and how important it is to talk about your feelings as a way of healing.
2020-06-1009 min