Shows
Secondhand TherapyFake Growth. Real Talk. | #087This is probably our most uncomfortable conversation so far... This week, we dive into the messy beauty of personal growth, family trauma, and the illusion of progress. Michael spirals into thoughts about mortality and uncovers patterns passed down through his family—aka the “family curse.” He opens up about feeling stuck, avoiding discomfort, and calling it self-improvement. Louie isn’t having it. He calls out the loopholes, the fake growth, and the safety blanket of the comfort zone. There’s tension. There’s truth. There’s laughter in between the heavy stuff.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, lied to yourself in t...2025-06-091h 02
Secondhand TherapyI Don’t Feel Connected to my Mother | #086Support the pod:
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PO BOX 230595, Las Ve...2025-06-0245 min
Secondhand TherapyGrief (Part II) / Music Triggers & Healing Over Time When the World Won’t Stop | #085Louie opens up about how music can unexpectedly trigger waves of grief — and reflects on the strangely beautiful reality that the world keeps moving after someone dies. Michael shares how his own experience of loss has shifted over time, revealing how grief evolves and reshapes our sense of self. Together, they explore the many forms grief can take — from deep sorrow to unexpected moments of connection and hope — and how it intersects with our mental health. Whether you're grieving a loved one, a relationship, or a version of yourself, this conversation offers comfort, perspective, and a reminder that you're not alone...2025-05-2644 min
Secondhand TherapyTherapy Intake Questions, ADHD Struggles, and Starting with a New Therapist | #084Social media boundaries in therapy, ADHD shutdowns, and how productivity shame messes with your self-worth.
Starting therapy with someone new can feel… awkward. Louie shares about his first session with a new therapist, and the surprising comment he received on Instagram that sparked a deeper conversation. Should therapists follow you on social media? Meanwhile, Michael opens up about his ongoing struggles with ADHD, productivity shame, and what it’s like to emotionally shut down when tasks pile up. In this episode, we unpack:
Awkward first sessions with new therapists
Should your therapist follow your Instagram?
Therapy intake form...2025-05-1957 min
Secondhand TherapySitting in Discomfort: How Therapy Is Changing Our Relationships | #083Louie opens up about a vulnerable conversation with his girlfriend that challenged their relationship — all through the lens of parts work therapy. He shares how sitting with discomfort, rather than avoiding it, is transforming the way he shows up in partnership. Michael reflects on his own experience with parts work, revealing emotional memories connected to his mother — and how facing discomfort in therapy is reshaping his sense of self. This episode explores:
Why discomfort in therapy can be your biggest breakthrough
Real-life relationship challenges during inner work
How childhood parts show up in adult dynamics
Whether you're in therapy or c...2025-05-1250 min
Secondhand TherapyCan’t Commit to Monogamy | #082Louie has bronchitis and found his therapists Instagram — and why that might be a red flag. Michael dives deep into his fear of commitment, the emotional tension around flirting in monogamous relationships, and why he struggles with being perceived as “in trouble” for noticing other women. Together, they explore the blurry line between attraction and objectification, and how abandonment issues can sabotage intimacy. A raw, honest look at modern masculinity, emotional growth, and the complexity of romantic relationships.
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Secondhand TherapyOther SHT Show #82025-05-0111 min
Secondhand TherapyReplay - Family Dysfunction and EMDR with Lara BeitzSupport the pod:
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PO BOX 230595, Las Ve...2025-04-2859 min
Secondhand TherapyOther SHT Show #72025-04-2410 min
Secondhand TherapyLive Show 001This is the recording of our first live show. It was recorded December 19, 2024 in Los Angeles, Ca.
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ht...2025-04-211h 19
Secondhand TherapyYou Probably Think This Story’s About You: It Started as a Love Story*Some names and details have been changed to conceal the identities of those who wish to remain anonymous.
When Brittani Ard matches with Kanon on Hingesparks fly. Their first date revealed an instantconnection and chemistry.Kanon is devastatingly handsome with a charm that disarmed even the mostguarded heart—plus he is surprisingly emotionally available for a man in his forties. It’s as if the universe has conspired to bring them together, two soulmates destined to find each other.
The couple spends the next five months diving fast into a whirlwind romance. Their connection so intense and...2025-04-1435 min
Secondhand TherapyFirst Live Show Dread | Other SHT Show #6Support the pod:http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://secondhandtherapypod.comFollow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypodhttp://instagram.com/itsloubearhttp://instagram.com/malonecomedyContact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-24482025-04-1012 min
Secondhand TherapyWhy Am I Scared to be Happy? | #081Louie grapples with the question: When is the right time to return to therapy? After making progress, Louie wonders whether he should open up about his podcast with his new therapist. Alongside Michael, they explore the balance between what to share and what to keep private in therapy. When does context matter in conversations about mental health? Michael faces the challenge of shedding his "sad guy" identity and navigating how this shift impacts his relationships.
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Secondhand TherapyCheating on Your Pregnant Wife?! | #080Louie and Michael unpack a shocking voice note from a listener who discovered her husband's infidelity while she was 9 months pregnant. The guys dive into the complexities of relationship trust, cheating, and how they might handle betrayal in their own lives. Tune in for a candid conversation on how to cope with infidelity, rebuild trust, and navigate difficult situations in relationships. If you've ever questioned what you'd do when trust is broken, this episode is a must-listen.
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Secondhand TherapyAre Dash Cameras a Good Idea? | Other SHT Show #52025-03-2711 min
Secondhand TherapyOvercoming Anxiety and Understanding Triggers | #079Michael returns from his tour and opens up about his struggles with staying grounded in one place. Together with Louie, they unpack the complexities of anxiety, how to recognize it in the moment, and share personal experiences of navigating anxiety triggers. Michael’s hilarious moment of contemplating asking a bus driver for help (LOL) leads to an insightful conversation on how different people cope with similar situations.
Louie also dives deep into his decision to seek a male therapist and his concerns about working with a Black therapist. Does race play a role in therapy? Louie and Michael ex...2025-03-2447 min
Secondhand TherapyHow Long Should Sex Really Last? | Other SHT Show #4Support the pod:http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://secondhandtherapypod.comFollow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypodhttp://instagram.com/itsloubearhttp://instagram.com/malonecomedyContact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-24482025-03-2009 min
Secondhand TherapyWhich Dating App is Best for Relationships? Attachment Styles & Political Climate with Jenny Zigrino | #078Jenny explores the best dating apps for relationships, including Hinge, Bumble, and Feeld, and gives advice on which platform may be most effective for finding a serious connection. We dive into the psychology of attachment styles as Jenny opens up about her own disorganized attachment style and how it leads to anxious-avoidant behavior in relationships. Jenny also shares her insights on the dating pool dynamics between men and women, especially as they age.
Later in the episode, we explore a controversial theory: Is unconditional love worth less to some people? Jenny challenges the traditional notion of unconditional love...2025-03-1758 min
Secondhand TherapyViral and Cringe TikToks | Other SHT Show #3Support the pod:http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://secondhandtherapypod.comFollow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypodhttp://instagram.com/itsloubearhttp://instagram.com/malonecomedyContact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-24482025-03-1309 min
Secondhand TherapyEmotional Responsibility, Codependency & Communication Breakdowns | #077Louie opens up about a recent fight he had with his girlfriend – no therapy, just real talk. It's a classic relationship argument, and we're diving deep into it. We discuss emotional responsibility, codependency, communication breakdowns, and much more that came up during the fight. Michael pushes Louie to reflect on his actions and how he approaches tough conversations. Plus, Michael shares his struggles with overwhelm from everyday tasks and his frustration with self-prioritization. Don't miss this raw, honest discussion – we want to hear your thoughts!
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Secondhand TherapyPickleball and Awkward Small Talk | Other SHT Show #2Support the pod:http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://secondhandtherapypod.comFollow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypodhttp://instagram.com/itsloubearhttp://instagram.com/malonecomedyContact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-24482025-03-0610 min
Secondhand TherapyTrauma, Personal Growth & Normalizing Pain | #076Michael shares his personal experience with starting Adderall for ADHD, offering a deep dive into how medication has shaped his mental health journey. He reflects on his hometown and the complexities of reconnecting with old memories, before diving into an uncomfortable conversation he recently had with an old friend. Lou offers a fresh perspective, challenging Michael to see things differently. The two explore the classic tale of the monkey and the fish, using it as a lens to discuss how we often brush off and normalize our own trauma. Michael opens up about a powerful memory of watching his mother...2025-03-0354 min
Secondhand TherapyMarried At First Sight vs Alone: Reality TV Showdown! | Other SHT Show #1Support the pod:http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://secondhandtherapypod.comFollow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypodhttp://instagram.com/itsloubearhttp://instagram.com/malonecomedyContact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-24482025-02-2710 min
Secondhand TherapyWhy Are Relationships So Hard? | #075Lou and Michael reflect on a powerful voicemail they received about the aftermath of breakups and the grief that follows. Lou opens up about a past relationship where an ultimatum changed everything for him. The conversation shifts to a meaningful DM asking how women can better support the men in their lives—something Lou and Michael feel strongly about, as they've always connected more with women than men. They also dive into their thoughts on marriage—should it be viewed as a legal contract or something deeper? Lou gets raw and vulnerable to close out this emotionally charged episode. Listen to t...2025-02-2455 min
Secondhand TherapyThere’s a 12-Step Program for That | #074Comedian and all-around good human, Ken Garr, joins the pod today. Ken discusses his history of being a black-out drunk alcoholic, with some stories that will make you think; before sharing his journey to being 8 years sober. He reflects on his addiction to toxic relationships and what he's learned through his 12-step program dealing with codependency.
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Secondhand TherapyI Don’t Trust Myself and I Have Anxiety (No I Don’t) | #073Michael dives deep into his denial about anxiety and the fear of missing something, only to realize he’s been missing more than he thought. He opens up about the emotional impact of losing his mother and how it’s left him without a safety net. Michael also reflects on his tendency to quit things out of frustration and his hesitation to ask for help. As he lets go of his dreams of fame, he’s left searching for a new dream. Meanwhile, Lou explores his own fantasies and questions their true meaning, all while navigating the complexities of multiple truths...2025-02-1049 minSecondhand TherapyAsking Permission to go to a Strip Club and Cheating on Vacation | #072In an impromptu recording and conversation, Lou and Michael get into relationships. Asking for permission or checking in? Is cheating forgivable? What is cheating? Let's talk hypotheticals. Anxious attachments and building trust... or re-building trust?
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Follow u...2025-02-0344 minSecondhand TherapyI’m Being Honest With Myself and Honestly I’m NOT Selfish | #071Lou walked out of therapy because he just wasn't feeling it; Michael did EMDR. Lou and Michael recount an uncomfortable conversation they had off-air. Michael has been challenged to take a serious look at himself and his patterns and be honest with himself. Michael reflects on his need to explain his behaviors before getting into shame. Lou and Michael debate intent versus impact before getting into what outward behaviors are actually rooted in self preservation.
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ht...2025-01-271h 00Secondhand TherapyI Had an Emotionally Immature Parent and Now I Can’t Be Vulnerable | #070Lou still hates a mismatch as he struggles with his desire to be more vulnerable. Lou and Michael discuss what it means to ask for emotional support. Lou's therapist dropped a bombshell on where shame comes from, especially if you had emotionally immature parents or if your parents always fixed your mistakes for you. Lou takes care of everything and hates it and loves it. Lou and Michael talk about whether we are alone in life. Sidenote: you can hear the extreme winds that spread fire across Los Angeles, throughout the episode. We did our best with the audio.
2025-01-2051 minSecondhand TherapyOne Of Those Long, Intimate Kitchen Conversations | #069In a different type of episode, Lou and Michael break down an emotional conversation they had just before sitting down to record the podcast.
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http://tiktok.com/@se...2025-01-1344 minSecondhand TherapyIt’s a New Year (Again) and We’ve All Missed the Point (Still) | #068It's a new year, and Lou made a shirt. Lou had some difficulty reflecting on 2024, and connects it to his big-picture thinking. Lou had a bit of an existential therapy session and got into how the luxuries of today's society have dulled existence. Lou and Michael discuss what life is supposed to be. Lou is trying to get connected with his body more and be more intentional with presence. Michael opens up about his desire to be more social. OUR PHONES ARE RUINING US EVERY MINUTE.
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http://secondhandtherapypod.com2025-01-0647 minSecondhand TherapyLet’s Talk About Our Dynamic and You Don’t Know Us Like That | #067Lou and Michael discuss their dynamic, relationship, communication style and everything else. They discuss comments, engagement, and the idea that listeners know them intrinsically. All of this is sparked by a message received on Patreon... Shoutout to Nikki. We love you.
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h...2024-12-2351 minSecondhand TherapyLonely Fat Kid With a Neck Tattoo | #066Lou and Michael hammer out a little misunderstanding. Lou is checking in with his parts in a new way with new intention. Michael is still addicted to validation. Lou is struggling to come to terms with the parts of his father that live within him. Michael opens up about his childhood and his disbelief that he deserves love. Michael looks back on his last relationship.
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h...2024-12-161h 06Secondhand TherapyA Floating Task List and Struggling To Be | #065Lou doesn't hate to be needed after all which ties into his main focus of being. Lou feels like he has to catch everything before it happens. Michael's ADHD has his to-do list floating around in the ether. Michael still prioritizes his external appearance over his internal growth. Lou and Michael compare their views on their phones affecting their presence. Michael talks about his past situationship that hurt him real bad.
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http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod2024-12-091h 03Secondhand TherapyMy Absent Father and Closing the Door (Or Not) | #064Lou can't believe what Michael is doing in therapy. Lou saw his dad for the first time in four years... unplanned. Lou recaps his relationship with his father. Michael is coming to terms with loving his family but not necessarily liking them. Lou and Michael debate grief before discussing cutting people out of your life and closing the door on relationships. We finally figure out why Michael won't close the door.
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http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod2024-12-0253 minSecondhand TherapyGrandiosity and The Inability to Cry | #063Lou had a very existential therapy session this week. Why are humans the ones, ya know? Lou reflects on his phone and online shopping and the dopamine hit of a new match before getting into his swan song in therapy. Michael is starting a new exercise tracking points and he is already up ten thousand.
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secondhandtherapypod@g...2024-11-2553 minSecondhand TherapyThe Election and Logging Your Feelings to Find Your Needs | #062We’re talking about the emotional side of the election and Donald Trump’s victory before we get into understanding your needs as a human.
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http://tiktok.com/@s...2024-11-1846 minSecondhand TherapyWe’re Not Really Strangers | #061Lou and Michael pull cards from the game “We’re Not Really Strangers” which lead to conversations about when they’ve surprised themselves, curiosity vs judgement, cause and effect, what parts of themselves they see in each other and much much more. And then Lou shares something that rocks Michael’s world.
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S...2024-11-1152 minSecondhand TherapyLove, Vulnerability and Boundaries | #060It's a deep dive into the complexities of modern relationships. Louie opens up about his struggles with balancing healthy boundaries and offering genuine love, while reflecting on his partner's perceived lack of effort in their shared home life. He explores the challenges of conflict resolution, emotional growth, and the fear of embracing vulnerable love. Michael shares powerful insights into how his father's influence shaped his current relationships, and how emotional well-being and self-acceptance impact his approach to love. The conversation takes a thought-provoking turn as Louie and Michael debate: Does love need to be earned?
Support the pod:2024-11-0449 minSecondhand TherapyReplay - Grief (Part 1)We couldn’t avoid it any longer. We’re talking about grief this week.
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http://instagram.com/malone...2024-10-2853 minSecondhand TherapyPerfectionism and My Dead Dad | #059This is a deeper, heavier episode. Lou opens with a quick pickleball story. Feeling a bit down lately, Michael explores the reasons behind his funk, with Lou suggesting it might be for obvious reasons. The conversation delves into Michael's childhood experiences and his relationship with his parents, offering insights into how our past shapes our present. Tune in for an honest and relatable dialogue about mental health, personal growth, and the pressures of perfectionism!
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http://ti...2024-10-2143 minSecondhand TherapyCussing Out Grandma and a Bi-Weekly Shower | #058Lou shares his dream with a surprising message for Michael, sparking a discussion about self-reflection and personal growth before cussing out his Grandma. Lou reveals his new habit of mouth-taping during sleep. Lou may have a hygiene problem. Meanwhile, Michael candidly reflects on his professional journey, expressing feelings of backstepping and the sacrifices he’s made for his career.
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Con...2024-10-1448 minSecondhand TherapyNeurodivergent Life and Daytime Therapy | #057Stay tuned after the episode for a little surprise! A sample of our weekly "After the Pod" only on Patreon!
Lou shares his candid thoughts on why he struggles with therapy, particularly due to the scheduling during the day (not really). He reveals exciting news about finally getting scheduled for his autism and ADHD testing, highlighting the importance of understanding these neurodivergent experiences. Meanwhile, Michael embarks on his first EMDR session with a new therapist, diving into the transformative process of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. As Michael explores Internal Family Systems (IFS), he uncovers new parts of...2024-10-0749 minSecondhand TherapyGetting Rejected by a Celebrity and Dissociating During Therapy | #056In this insightful episode, Michael opens up about the side effects he's experienced from his ADHD medication. Join him and Lou as they explore their differing views on strangers discussing medication and the impact of mental health on daily life.
Lou shares a humorous story about sliding into a celebrity's DMs—only to face rejection. The conversation takes a deeper turn as they address behind-the-scenes challenges in their podcast collaboration, highlighting the dynamics of their working relationship.
As Lou dives into his Internal Family Systems (IFS) work, he reveals new aspects of himself that emerge when wi...2024-09-3044 minSecondhand TherapyAm I Hot or Just Cute? | #055Michael has noticed that he used to be hot but now he's just cute. Lou doesnt care. Michael talks about the Ask Matrix and how his time with his new therapist is starting out.
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Follow us h...2024-09-2341 minSecondhand TherapyMissing My Girlfriend and Painting My Toenails | #054Michael clears up a few things (a lot of things) from Episode 051 with regards to public perception, Snapchat and other things. Lou made a joke in therapy that didn’t land. Lou painted his toenails. Lou feels weak and embarrassed for missing his partner and had an uncomfortable conversation with her about it.
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...2024-09-1651 minSecondhand TherapyThe Break Up... She Left Out of Nowhere | #053We talk about a break-up…
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secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com2024-09-0943 minSecondhand TherapyExecutive Dysfunction and Anxiety About My Ex | #052Michael explores the impact of ADHD on his life, highlighting how it enforces a strict schedule due to executive dysfunction. He shares his struggles with all-or-nothing thinking and his pursuit of the ideal. Meanwhile, Lou, who is not usually fond of activities, reflects on his recent EMDR therapy sessions related to his past relationship and former partner. He discusses overcoming anxiety and wonders if it's time to share his personal story.
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http://instagram.com/itsloubear2024-09-0241 minSecondhand TherapyA F*ck Boy and a Vasectomy | #051Lou got a vasectomy and afterward played a joke on his girlfriend. Michael’s words are not matching his actions in areas of his life… specifically with women. Michael’s continued struggle with boundaries might have made him a f*ck boy. How old is too old to have Snapchat? Okay but is Michael a f*ck boy or no? Michael is still addicted to validation but he really doesn’t want to be.
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2024-08-1245 minSecondhand TherapyPeople Pleasing and a Family Who Hates Therapy | #048Lou dives into the unique challenges of being the sole member of your family pursuing self-improvement through therapy. He shares his personal journey and experiences in couples therapy, shedding light on the emotional and psychological impacts of seeking help. Michael opens up about his struggles with self-frustration, particularly around not learning from past mistakes and the role of people-pleasing in his life, especially in his relationship with his roommate. He explores the deep-seated shame he feels when setting boundaries and saying “no” to others. Additionally, Michael discusses the importance of dreaming intentionally and offers insights on how to harness your drea...2024-07-2946 minSecondhand TherapyOld Behaviors and a Loaded Gun in Texas | #047Warning: This episode contains a discussion about suicide, suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation. Michael talks about finding a surprise at his friend's house in Texas and it sparks thoughts and behaviors in him that he hasn't felt in quite awhile. Lou talks about the benefits of evolving with the right partner but also how sometimes your old habits creeps back in even when you're doing the work to keep them at bay.
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Secondhand TherapyMy Mom Didn’t Let Me Cry | #046Michael makes the mistake of mixing ADHD medication with coffee. Michael talks about the new feeling of being detached from your own reality before talking about his efforts of accepting positive feedback. Michael shares everything with everyone and Lou doesn’t. Lou is getting close to accessing shame in therapy. Lou gets into his childhood and how his upbringing probably wasn’t conducive to emotional development; Lou talks about his mom and hates it.
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Secondhand TherapyParental Dynamics and ADHD Medication with Gabby Lamb | #045We welcome comedian Gabby Lamb to the sleuth today! Michael explores therapist transitions and his new ADHD medication. Lou reflects on philanthropy in Los Angeles. Is starting your day with news or social media detrimental? They share personal stories about upbringing and parental dynamics. Gabby dives into managing comments and her unyielding resolve.
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Secondhand TherapySocial Media and Mother’s Day with My Dead Mom | #044Lou and Michael explore the impact of sharing beliefs on social media and the accessibility of voices online, amidst global issues. Lou reflects on his vision of an ideal life and its practicality, while Michael shares his heartfelt journey navigating Mother’s Day without his mom and grappling with time management and future planning. They also delve into the emotional toll of living apart from family and feeling disconnected from their everyday reality.
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Secondhand TherapyExistential Dread with Omono Okojie | #043We welcome guest host Omono Okojie to the sleuth to talk all things existential dread!
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Secondhand TherapyGrief and Eating Disorders with Jenny Zigrino | #042We welcome our good friend and comedian Jenny Zigrino to the sleuth to talk all things grief, coping and eating disorders
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Secondhand TherapyUnconditional Love and Scared of Hugs | #041Join Lou and Michael as they delve into the complexities of emotional support and personal growth in this enlightening conversation. Lou grapples with the possibility of entering his hippie phase, sparking a spirited debate with Michael. A profound revelation emerges as Lou confronts the stark reality of never having experienced physical affection, igniting a poignant discussion on the importance of human connection. Then, they get into a candid exploration of the ideal methods of support in times of emotional vulnerability, including the poignant question of how to comfort a friend in need. Unravel the intricacies of communication styles within families...2024-05-2047 min
Secondhand TherapyHere’s What Happened... | #040We had a bit of an unforeseen and unprecedented recording this week...
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Secondhand TherapyReflection, Growth and Two Men Crying | #039Join Michael and Lou in a transformative episode where they dive deep into personal growth journeys. Michael shares his breakthrough experience with ADHD medication, unveiling profound life changes. Delving further, they explore the struggle of finding intrinsic value in accomplishments. Lou sheds light on his quest to cherish the process rather than fixate on outcomes, resonating with Michael's journey. Additionally, Lou confronts the impact of his pursuit of perfection on his relationships, offering valuable insights for listeners. Tune in for an enriching conversation on embracing change, valuing the journey, and overcoming perfectionism.
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Secondhand TherapyApologies, Forgiveness and a Weird F*cking Dream | #038Michael opens up about a recent emotional setback and his journey back to a place he's avoided for some time. Delve into Michael's struggles with self-forgiveness contrasted with his ease in forgiving others. Lou and Michael engage in a candid discussion on accountability and the importance of seeking and granting apologies. In a poignant moment, Lou reflects on a significant breakthrough in therapy, particularly regarding communication challenges. Together, Lou and Michael also share heartfelt experiences and dreams involving their deceased loved ones, offering a glimpse into the complexities of grief and healing. Tune in to gain valuable insights into navigating...2024-04-2951 min
Secondhand TherapyHow Long Are People Meant to be in Your Life? | #037Join Lou and Michael for a deep dive into relationships, anxiety, and personal growth on this episode. From questioning the duration of people's roles in our lives to navigating anxiety and ADHD, they share their candid experiences. Tune in as they explore the challenges of therapy and the liberating journey of shedding self-identities.
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Secondhand TherapyHating Children and One Silly Boy | #036Lou is sick but still talks about his frustration doing parts work in therapy. Lou still struggles feeling silly, especially in therapy. Michael feels left out, even when he isn’t left out. Michael has started to lean into life more while he is also learning to dodge energy that isn’t for him. Michael hates kids, except one.
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secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com2024-04-1550 min
Secondhand TherapyPossible Autism and Mushrooms in the Trees | #035Lou looks different in glasses. Lou had a nice day outside enjoying the trees. Michael likes posting about his daily activities online while Lou hates it. Michael talks about accepting himself and not liking kids before Lou reveals his RAADS-R results. The boys debate how the majority should affect your behaviors.
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Secondhand TherapyMy Dead Mom and a Psychic in Salem | #034Lou fills Michael in on some secrets he’s been keeping. Lou wants to start wearing glasses so he looks less scary. Michael reflects on seeing himself in others while he was on the road before unpacking how he has made grief his identity. Michael saw a psychic and learned some things. Michael is struggling with how he looks these days… or rather, who he looks like.
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Secondhand TherapyWho Knew Episode Thirty Was Such a Big Deal | #033Michael thinks Lou is autistic. The boys unpack the surprisingly controversial Episode 030. Disclaimer: We do not mean any offense to anyone on the spectrum. This is a real conversation not intended to be insulting in any way. We have had this conversation in private and in therapy and thought it was important to share as adult diagnoses of autism are becoming more common as people navigate their mental health.
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Secondhand TherapyMy Dead Girlfriend and a New Situationship | #032Lou had a really rough therapy session this week unpacking how his last relationship is affecting his current relationship. Lou talks about how his nervous system is taking over before diving in to his approach to being the best partner he can be. Michael talks about his growing loneliness before coming clean with the bear cubs about his recent breakup and the toll it's taking on him.
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Secondhand TherapyA Crazy Story About Getting Cheated On | #031Guest host Madison Bellissimo sits in with Papa Bear as Michael is out of town to talk all things love and struggle.
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Secondhand TherapyDefine What ”Normal” Means Though | #030Lou talks about his first EMDR session before Michael voices his concern for not having a good memory. Lou challenges Michael on his approach and desire for healing. Michael and Lou debate what “normal” means. Michael quickly begins to feel his back against the wall and confronts Lou about it. Michael is trying to re-program himself.
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Secondhand TherapyExpressing Gratitude But Why Doesn’t Dad Love Me | #029Michael starts off dissecting his newfound daddy issues and how validation and disappointment plays into his life before getting into his younger self. Lou and Michael get into their individual desires to express more gratitude. Lou explores the dichotomy of having a great life but not feeling great all the time before discussing EMDR.
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Secondhand TherapyDisrespect and Adults Getting in Trouble | #028Michael is still people pleasing and discusses getting “in trouble” as a grown man. Lou and Michael debate the difference between disrespect and not giving a fuck before getting into talking to their younger selves and comparing their different views on validation. Michael needs a Mom again… right?
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Secondhand TherapyMy New Love and Panic Attacks | #027Papa Bear has a life update that he has been hiding from the Bear Cubs for a few weeks; he comes clean before opening up about some new struggles. Michael discusses his fear of not being enough for potential partners before getting into his realization that he needs a hobby. Michael has an epiphany about his anxiety.
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Secondhand TherapyFamily Dysfunction and EMDR with Lara Beitz | #026We welcome comedian Lara Beitz to the sleuth to talk all things mental health.
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Secondhand TherapySetting Goals and Wanting to Cry | #025Lou still can’t cry and may be getting closer to knowing why before talking about getting closer with his therapist and how he feels defeated in therapy lately. Michael is still a people pleaser and talks about how outside opinions help him make progress. Michael and Lou discuss goal-setting in personal and professional aspects.
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Secondhand TherapyCodependence and a F*cked Up Nervous System | #024Lou is kinda grumpy; Michael has no interest in learning how to be alone. Michael talks about sacrificing all of his needs in order to please those around him before detailing how he gets into the hole of isolation. Lou talks about being in touch with his body and how that affects one’s nervous system. The boys discuss their different approaches to swag. Lou wants to cry but still hasn’t. Yet.
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Secondhand TherapyDaddy Issues and The Family Man | #023Lou and Michael discuss their very different relationships with their fathers and their ideologies regarding families and forgiveness.
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http://instagram.com/itsloubear2024-01-0846 min
Secondhand TherapyPTSD and Self-Love with Hanorah | #022Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions related to sexual assault.
We welcome Hanorah to the sleuth to discuss all things anxiety, PTSD, self-love and more!
Hanorah is multidisciplinary artist based out of a small studio filled with cats, canvases, and glittered tape recorders in Montreal’s west end. With years of touring under her belt (including several television appearances and supporting the likes of Mavis Staples and Lee Fields), she recently took time to plunge back into song writing and forge a new musical direction. What emerged was a collection of songs highlighting the overlap between ma...2024-01-0159 min
Secondhand TherapySocial Anxiety at the Christmas Party | #021Lou and Michael discuss their different experiences from a recent party they attended before getting into their strong opinions regarding people asking you to remove your shoes at their house. Michael has a theory on Lou’s opposition to small talk. Michael reveals his surprise feelings of loneliness recently before getting into his struggle with codependency. Lou and Michael discuss the idea of choosing happiness before Michael gets into his difficulties processing emotions.
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Secondhand TherapyChild Abuse and Adult Entertainment with Silvia Saige | #020Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions related to sexual assault, child abuse, pedophilia. suicide, suicide attempts. We welcome Siliva Saige to the sleuth to discuss her difficult journey from childhood to becoming a star in adult entertainment.
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2023-12-1150 min
Secondhand TherapyBoundaries and the Comfort of Misery | #019Lou is still talking about his newfound fear of relationships; his therapist gives him a crash course on attachment styles and boundaries before he explains how it can be all tied to a discomfort about identity. Lou and Michael talk about how misery can be comforting before Michael talks about his melancholy Thanksgiving where he fell into a dark hole of grief. Michael talks about embracing the disgruntled employee that lives within all of us.
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Secondhand TherapyRejection and the Ultimate Breakup Strategy | #018Lou reveals his strategy for dealing with breakups before Michael gives his thoughts on anger and retaliation that follows cheating. Lou talks about dealing with feelings of rejection in the dating world. Michael talks about his recent business trip where he implemented some new self-love tactics before getting into his desire to unlock some childhood memories in therapy. Lou and Michael talk more about Lou’s recent rejection.
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Secondhand TherapyLittle Boy on the Beach Gave Me a Panic Attack | #017Michael talks about a dream he recently had that really messed with him before contemplating how he’s processed his grief. Lou and Michael debate what showing emotion actually looks like while sharing their difficulties crying in front of people. Lou talks about an exercise from his therapy session that sent him into a panic attack before he and Michael talk about their childhoods.
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Secondhand TherapyHi, I Protect Myself by Making Jokes | #016Michael talks about his new confidence since getting his teeth fixed and how his therapist tied it back to his struggle with self-love. Lou and Michael discuss self-awareness when it comes to showing up in relationships. Lou figures out why he can’t be late before his therapist gets into the weeds regarding his lifelong use of humor as a shield.
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Secondhand TherapyADHD with Laurie Singer | #015We welcome Behavioral Specialist Laurie Singer to the sleuth today to talk all things grief, anxiety, self-worth, ADHD and more.
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Secondhand TherapyThe Correct Way to do Empathy | #014Lou starts off discussing having prepared answers ready for vulnerable conversations before talking about calling his therapist out for using “therapy talk.” Lou and Michael discuss empathy; Lou finally figured out why he struggles with it. Michael and Lou discuss social media and how their opinions on it differ. Michael talks about a big takeaway from the book he’s currently reading.
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Secondhand TherapyMonogamy and the Idea of Having Children | #013Michael ponders his struggle with anxiety and control before unpacking how he protects his partners from his flaws in relationships. Lou and Michael discuss monogamy and the idea of legacies. Lou talks about his recent thoughts regarding having kids before taking you through an anxiety-filled exercise from his recent therapy session.
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Secondhand TherapyMen and Women are Different, Ya Know? | #012Lou recaps the final session with his current therapist before he moves on with a new therapist. Michael and Lou ponder what “normal” life looks like before contemplating the differences between men and women. Michael opens up about his experience with losing interest in past relationships. Lou and Michael debate what the majority or romantic relationships look like.
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Secondhand TherapyA Small Crush and an Old Journal | #011Lou didn’t have therapy this week and Lou really needed therapy this week. Lou talks about how a small crush led him into his feelings of the past. Lou and Michael discuss the stresses of moving and difficulties of finding a place to live in Los Angeles. Michael talks about uncovering an old journal and the entries sending him into reflection about his past.
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Secondhand TherapyDisneyland is for Idiots, Let’s Fight | #010Lou is in a mood and we never really find out why. Lou talks about his recent day at Disneyland. Michael and Lou talk about the viral 75 Hard Challenge and Michael’s take on his own version before discussing the likelihood of implementing permanent change. Lou talks about his new revelation from therapy that there are no good or bad decisions. Finally, Michael has had enough and the boys fight.
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Secondhand TherapyThe Anxiety of Being One Minute Late | #009Michael and Lou discuss some negative feedback they received about the podcast before they get into Michael’s addiction to inner conflict. Lou hates being late and discusses his recent hypocrisy-filled rage situation. Lou discovered he needs to find a new therapist.
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...2023-09-1843 min
Secondhand TherapyGrief (Part 1) | #008We couldn’t avoid it any longer. We’re talking about grief this week.
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Secondhand TherapyBeing Mindful and the Rage Taking Over | #007Lou is not hoeing. Michael has been throwing anger tantrums; Lou talks about mindfulness helping him overcome his past anger before they debate healing your inner child versus living in the past. Lou and Michael dip their toes into discussing grief.
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Fo...2023-09-0454 min
Secondhand TherapyMy Ho Era in my Mid-Thirties | #006Lou talks about never having had his “ho era” and his recent desire to start hoeing. Lou details a recent experience he had in the ho world. Lou and Michael discuss societal norms and the ideas of monogamy and marriage.
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Follow us here...2023-08-281h 11
Secondhand TherapyA Thicc Boy and His Body Image Issues | #005Lou and Michael discuss their respective issues with body image before getting into the effects of self-talk. Lou still doesn’t care if you like him.
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http...2023-08-2151 min
Secondhand TherapyI’m Grateful but I Hate Myself | #004Lou expresses his desire to show more gratitude in life. Michael talks about his breakthrough in therapy and possibilities of why he doesn’t like himself.
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Secondhand TherapyAttachment Styles and Unconditional Love | #003Lou and Michael discuss their love languages and attachment styles before considering whether unconditional love is a real thing. Lou talks about his recent experience dating a 26 year-old.
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http...2023-08-0759 minSecondhand TherapyEpisode 002: Stranger DangerLou updates Michael on his new strategies for sleeping and starting the day. Lou and Michael discuss social anxiety and debate etiquette regarding small talk and general interactions with strangers in social situations.
2023-07-2658 minSecondhand TherapyEpisode 001: I Feel Nothing. I Feel Everything.Michael and Lou discuss the complications of doing business with friends before getting into
their respective abilities to feel their own feelings throughout the day. Lou gives a glimpse into
the traumatic events that started his journey in therapy.
2023-07-2648 min
Secondhand TherapyPrologue: A Little TasteGet acquainted with your hosts, Lou Paoletti and Michael Malone, as they give a rundown of what to expect on Secondhand Therapy.
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818-850-2448
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http://inst...2023-07-2604 min