Shows
Live Long and Master AgingIntegrating vigorous activity into daily life | Prof. Marie MurphyVILPA (Vigorous Intermittent Lifestyle Physical Activity) is a type of physical activity that involves short bouts of strenuous activity. It is opportunistic and integrated into daily life. It can be as simple as taking the stairs instead of the elevator, doing squats, or parking farther away to walk more. This type of activity improves fitness and provides health benefits, including cardiovascular health, weight control, muscle strength, bone health, and mental well-being. In this episode, Marie Murphy, Professor of Exercise and Health at Ulster University, explains the science behind intermittent vigorous movement and how it can help us m...
2024-09-1637 minLive Long and Master AgingIntegrating vigorous activity into daily life | Prof. Marie MurphyVILPA (Vigorous Intermittent Lifestyle Physical Activity) is a type of physical activity that involves short bouts of strenuous activity. It is opportunistic and integrated into daily life. It can be as simple as taking the stairs instead of the elevator, doing squats, or parking farther away to walk more. This type of activity improves fitness and provides health benefits, including cardiovascular health, weight control, muscle strength, bone health, and mental well-being. In this episode, Marie Murphy, Professor of Exercise and Health at Ulster University, explains the science behind intermittent vigorous movement and how it can help us m...
2024-09-1637 min
Your Secret Is Safe With Me149. Your Questions Answered (Part 2)If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you've made mistakes in your relationship and desire to end it but worry about how others will react to your decisions, if you have concerns or doubts about your sexuality as you age, or if you're struggling with the consequences of infidelity, Marie has you covered this week. Discover how to deal with wanting to leave your relationship, why you don't owe anyone a justification for your decisions, and how to deal with other people's reactions. Dr. Marie Murphy is helping you get clear on w...
2023-07-1329 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me148. Your Questions Answered (Part 1)Whether you're struggling with your thoughts and expectations of your partner, avoiding looking at your thoughts about your situation, or grappling with other people's judgments about your infidelity, Marie has you covered. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing everything you need to know about your thoughts and feelings, what you need to consider when it comes to other people's thoughts and feelings, how it's possible to have a caring relationship with an ex-spouse, and diving into the nuances of all these topics. Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.co...
2023-07-0634 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me146. Loving Your DecisionsOne of the biggest themes Dr. Marie Murphy's clients struggle with when they come to her for help is making decisions. If you currently believe that there are right and wrong decisions regarding your infidelity situation, this episode is for you. You have the option of lovingly committing to decisions you have made or loving decisions before you make them. Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you some strategies for making decisions that take into account what you really want, and guide you on how to love your decisions about your infidelity situation. G...
2023-06-2236 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me107. Is Monogamy (Un)Natural? Tune in this week because Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the question, "Is monogamy natural or unnatural?" Marie is diving deep into what natural even means, the meaning that gets applied to the word natural, and why it only gets more complicated when you try to bring the natural versus unnatural debate to how you think about your relationships, monogamy, and what you really want in your sexual and romantic life. Get full show notes and more info
2022-09-2235 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me101. What Physical Pain Teaches Us About Emotional PainIs emotional discomfort getting in the way of what you want most from your relationships? When faced with a situation that challenges your growth, it is normal to feel discomfort. How can you embrace that discomfort to rebuild your relationship? When transforming your relationship, you need to concede that emotional discomfort — just like physical discomfort — is part of life. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to recognize an emotional experience in constructive ways has profound and broad benefits. Dr. Murphy says these emotions can be lessons and motivators for change to achieve the relationship you desire. In...
2022-08-1134 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me100. The Point of Resolving Your Infidelity SituationDo you find yourself torn between wanting to resolve your relationship worries and being afraid of negative consequences? What is the best way to deal with infidelity drama, uncertainty, and intrusive thoughts? Dr. Marie Murphy says it all starts with being faithful to yourself. She shares her advice on various challenges that could seem terrifying and explains how facing these challenges can bring you peace in your relationships as well as in your everyday life. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about different methods of solving an...
2022-08-0424 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me99. What Do You Expect Out of a Romantic Relationship?When it comes to romantic relationships, what are your expectations and intentions? How can you contribute to your relationship constructively to ensure your needs are met? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, your relationships with others are important, but the relationship you have with yourself is even more significant. How you contribute to a relationship carries the most weight, so it's crucial to be clear on your understanding of what you expect from yourself and your romantic partner. By establishing and communicating your expectations, Dr. Murphy says you can consciously decide the direction and motives of any relationship...
2022-07-2824 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me98. Stop Telling Yourself These Three Things Right NowWhen confronted with grief, difficult situations, or relationship challenges, it's easy to convince ourselves of uncertainty or confusion to avoid making tough decisions. Yet, these thoughts are often unproductive and promote stagnancy. So, how can you change your mindset to overcome these difficulties? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends establishing what you know and want so you can begin to make decisions that will satisfy your desires. It's important to remember that you always have a choice about whether or not to accept challenges. By embracing emotional discomfort and acting on your circumstances, you can redefine your perspective to...
2022-07-2135 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me97. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an Affair, Part 2Why do you want to re-engage in your primary relationship? How can you intentionally generate excitement and a deep passion with your primary partner? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the convenient option of re-engaging with your primary does not mean it is obligatory. While the comfortable and familiar route may be the easiest, it also comes with challenges, difficulties, and awkwardness. Dr. Murphy recommends meeting those challenges with enthusiasm, and to be present and fully honest with yourself to improve your primary relationship. On this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie M...
2022-07-1434 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me96. When You Leave Your Marriage but Your Affair Partner Doesn'tWhen presented with the prospect of dismantling their lives by ending their marriage, people may become dismayed. What happens when your affair partner doesn't leave their marriage — but you do? It can be easy to downgrade your value and blame your partner's actions on the explanation that you're deeply and fatally flawed. When someone makes a choice, Dr. Marie Murphy says you can't manage what other people do, you can only manage your decisions about how to respond to them. You have the power to recognize and make the best of the situation — and the ability to reco...
2022-07-0737 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me95. Dealing With a Needy Affair PartnerWhat happens when your affair partner becomes needy of your attention and affection? How can you handle the feelings of discomfort and uncertainty when ending your marriage while being pushed by your affair partner to make a decision? Dr. Marie Murphy says it's all about how you manage your mind and deal with your emotions. You feel good when you're with your affair partner, so you begin to expect that feeling. But, when things go differently, you may encounter feelings of neediness. What does Dr. Murphy suggest? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe...
2022-06-3043 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me93. Allowing Yourself To Want What You WantIf you've ever found yourself staring your desires in the face, it can be challenging to ride the emotional waves that follow. Trying to suppress your desire can be exhausting — but what if there was another way? How can you prioritize the experience of feeling your desires without taking any action? Dr. Marie Murphy recommends practice. Try allowing yourself to feel your desires, even if they lead to disappointment or impatience. Most importantly, Dr. Murphy notes that letting yourself acknowledge your desires does not mean you must take action. So, how do you allow yourself to experience th...
2022-06-1641 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me91. The Intensity of a New AffairEngaging in a new infidelity situation can carry intense and conflicting emotions. How can you handle the magnitude and mixture of your feelings? Is it possible to find clarity during these heightened moments? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the intensity of the emotions accompanying a new relationship is compounded with an infidelity situation — especially if the relationship is forbidden or you have conflicting feelings. Dr. Murphy recommends that you take time to digest these feelings to get clear on what you want from your new affair. Only then can you deal with your emotions clearly and make th...
2022-06-0236 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me90. Should I Go to Couple's Therapy?How can you find clarity about your thoughts surrounding couples therapy or counseling? If you already feel sure about ending your relationship, what are your reasons for wanting to go? Before going to couples therapy, you need to have a clear understanding of your reason for attending. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people go into couple's therapy because they're looking to stall difficult conversations, they feel obligated to attend, or they want help facilitating a breakup. But Dr. Murphy says that it is not a guaranteed or automatic solution — you will still have feelings of discomfort as...
2022-05-2633 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me89. Does Having an Affair Doom Your Marriage to Failure?If you've had an affair that's now ended, you may be worried about what this secret will mean for the future of your marriage. Does keeping your cheating a secret doom your marriage to failure? Do you still deserve love and happiness after your infidelity? Will your marriage still have trust? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, these are all common fears — but none of them are true unless you believe they are. As she says, the future of your marriage depends on what you choose to focus on after your affair has ended. If you believe you've do...
2022-05-1927 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me88. When Bad Sh*t HappensIf you experience a major upheaval in your relationship, the disruption can feel like your world is crumbling down. How can you deal with this radical adjustment? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it may feel like bad shit is happening, but through destruction comes opportunities. If you deliberately choose to restructure your life from the rubble, you can build and grow your authentic self. Dr. Murphy says that to ride out uncomfortable or devastating experiences, you should ask yourself why this change is happening for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With...
2022-05-1233 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me86. When your Affair Partner Ghosts YouWhen you've formed a bond with your affair partner, it can be a grinding experience when that connection abruptly stops. So how can you overcome the pain of being ghosted? Dr. Marie Murphy says you are responsible for your sense of satisfaction, and if you're struggling to heal from the loss of a relationship, you will have to change your thinking. By thinking differently about your ghosting experience, you can lessen the intensity and reduce your pain in the future. According to Dr. Murphy, the first step is to accept what you are currently feeling — then you ca...
2022-04-2833 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me85. Past vs. Future FocusDo you feel like you're constantly pledging allegiance to your past? If you're stuck in the cycle of recycling and analyzing your past experiences, you may not be sure how to live the way you want to in the present and future. So, how can you engage with the past more effectively in order to create the future that you desire? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the past may seem stable and the future unpredictable. But, as Dr. Murphy says, if you focus too much on what went wrong in the past, it can negatively impact your...
2022-04-2137 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me84. Making Plans for the Future With Your Affair PartnerIf you aren't clear on how to move forward with your infidelity situation, what can you do to make a change? How can you make the right decisions for you — regardless of what your affair partner does? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have the choice between making decisions consciously and deliberately and making them haphazardly or based on fear. Many people want safety, comfort, and security in their relationship. But, are these desires holding you back from what you really want from your future? Dr. Murphy says the first step to making the right decision for yo...
2022-04-1433 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me82. How to Cheat and Keep Your Sanity IntactWhen you're unclear on your desires, you may feel stuck or powerless in your situation. If you are trying to cheat and want your sanity to stay intact, how can you deliberately decide what you want from your relationships? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you are accountable to yourself and your choices. To make more deliberate and satisfying relationship decisions, you need to manage your mindset and emotions. How? Dr. Murphy has the tools to help you get clear on your desires so you can keep your sanity intact in your infidelity situation. In this...
2022-03-3135 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me81. Conflict and CompatibilityIf you're too focused on certain requirements or expectations with a partner, you may miss out on rich connections. So, what can you do to make a change? Is it possible to experience growth in a relationship without sacrificing your needs? As Dr. Marie Murphy says, there is a way to advocate for your preferences while also compromising with your partner. During conflict, many people struggle with taking responsibility for themselves. Fortunately, Dr. Murphy has techniques to help you experience the growth that comes with addressing tension and rethinking compatibility. With this clarity, you can prioritize your...
2022-03-2443 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me80. It's Not Your Partner's Job To Make You HappyDo you expect your relationship to be a constant source of happiness and joy? Do you find yourself feeling discontent with your partner — or thinking that you might be happier with someone else? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the key to true relationship satisfaction is recognizing that the only person who can make you happy is yourself. While there may be times when you feel annoyed or upset with your partner, you can choose to instead focus on emotions and aspects you enjoy about your relationship. As Dr. Murphy says, realizing that you're in charge of your fe...
2022-03-1729 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me79. Being Honest With YourselfDo you put your relationships with others above your relationship with yourself? Actively trying to suppress or deny your feelings or your truth can be exhausting, especially during an infidelity situation. So, how can you prioritize being honest with yourself? If you're looking for a better way to gain clarity and certainty with your thoughts, Dr. Marie Murphy suggests that you take ownership and acknowledge what is true for you. Letting your fear of what other people might think can deter you from achieving what you truly desire. As Dr. Murphy says, you are the sovereign ruler...
2022-03-1026 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me78. Lying About InfidelityAre you faced with an ethical dilemma in your infidelity situation? When you're upset, it can be difficult to slow down and make a conscious decision about your relationship. So where can you turn for guidance? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you get to decide how to make the best decisions for you — no one can tell you what to do but you. But, with Dr. Murphy's help, you can navigate difficult ideas around morality — such as telling the truth versus lying in your relationship — and take action to determine the best route for you. In this...
2022-03-0331 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me77. Infidelity, Shame, and PerfectionismAre you struggling with the idea of perfectionism and hustling to show your self-worth in your relationships? Is trying to meet the needs of others holding you back from what you truly desire? If you're too afraid of failure, you will never succeed. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people struggle with other people's standards about love, acceptance, and worthiness. But, it's not easy to create relationships you truly want without your own self-worth. So, are you ready to overcome your thoughts and feelings of failure, shame, and perfectionism to get what you truly desire? ...
2022-02-2433 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me76. RegretDo you want to change your thoughts about your past but feel helpless about where to begin? Dwelling on the past won't change the future — but it is possible to reframe your thoughts and regrets in order to identify your desires. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the only things that make an experience regrettable are your thoughts. As she says, you have to decide for yourself what is truly valuable in each situation and use that to create the future you desire. So, how do you break the habit of negative thoughts? In this episode of...
2022-02-1732 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me75. Perfectionism and RelationshipsDoes your sense of self-worth depend upon other people's thoughts and beliefs? Is the desire for perfection holding you back from getting what you truly want from your life and relationships? When you endeavor to conform to societal — or other people's — expectations of what is acceptable and worthy, you open yourself up to feelings of shame and fear, which may be corrupting your standards and holding you back from your desires. Dr. Marie Murphy suggests a solution: cultivating a sense of self-worth that is not contingent upon what other people value as perfect. So, are you ready to s...
2022-02-1025 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me74. Dealing With Guilt and ShameInfidelity often brings forth feelings of guilt and shame, but it shouldn't lead you to believe you're a bad person. You don't have to convince yourself that cheating is good — but it doesn't have to be a bad thing, either. So how can you minimize feelings of guilt and shame and move towards self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-love? In order to shift your relationship with guilt and shame, you have to be willing to endure these feelings when they arise. Instead of trying to avoid these feelings or make them go away, Dr. Marie Murphy suggests you ride ou...
2022-02-0329 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me72. Preparing for a BreakupHow do you prepare yourself for the difficult emotions of ending your relationship? Deciding to end any relationship can be a tumultuous decision — especially if you have no support. So, where can you turn for help? If you're looking for a way to prepare for a breakup, Dr. Marie Murphy has some steps to help you navigate this process without fear and choose the best course for you. As she says, once your vision is clear and you have a better understanding of what you want, you can begin to take the next steps forward. It may be...
2022-01-2035 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me71. When You Love Your Partner And You Still Want To CheatDo you want relief from your complicated feelings about monogamy? What can you do to get what you really want out of your monogamous relationship? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple solution. The first step is to determine what you're looking for from your relationship — but many people struggle to find that clarity. That's where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has the strategies you need to get clear on your desires and configure the relationship that's best for you. With her help, you can figure out how to improve your relationship with yourself and ot...
2022-01-1327 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me70. What Does It Mean To Be Selfish?What do you want other people to believe about you? And, do these opinions stop you from pursuing your true desires? The concept of selfishness may feel inherently bad — but does it need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to achieve what you really want from your relationship, you have to examine the definition of selfishness in your own life. Many people struggle with the idea of seeming selfish and instead choose to avoid their honest wants and needs. That's where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has techniques to help you reframe what is de...
2022-01-0627 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me69. Making Changes In 2022How can you initiate change if you aren't getting what you want out of your infidelity situation? What can you do to create a difference in your pattern of thinking as you approach the New Year? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you can make the changes you desire by permitting yourself to take effective action. As she says, you have to be willing to invest in the journey to achieve the results you long for in your relationship. By altering your mindset and taking the first steps forward, you can make the changes that are better aligned w...
2021-12-3024 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me68. Infidelity and DeathAre you struggling to let go of your old self and transform into who you want to be? In order to change, you must surrender to what you want in your relationship and in your life — and that can often cause a shroud of doubt. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, only death allows for rebirth, and a metaphorical death can help you embrace your new self and reach the outcome you truly desire. While the awareness that life is fleeting and unpredictable can be uncomfortable, it is helpful for examining your thoughts and identifying your deepest desires. So...
2021-12-2327 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me67. Choosing To Leave A Good-Enough Marriage for Your Affair PartnerDeciding to end your marriage for your affair partner can be complicated. It can leave you with feelings of discomfort and confusion about what you truly want. Fortunately, there are ways to gain more clarity about the best path forward in your infidelity situation. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, if you're able to change your thinking, you can change your circumstances. Deciding to leave your marriage for your affair partner is not without its challenges. But to procure what you want, you have to be willing to tolerate discomfort in the process. With Dr. Murphy's help, you...
2021-12-1643 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me66. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Four: Dealing with Nostalgia and ConfusionAre you feeling conflicted and confused about your infidelity situation this holiday season? How do you distinguish between taking action because of your genuine desires and taking action because of your impulses? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, learning to refrain from overthinking and instead sitting still with your discomfort can help you reach the outcome you truly desire. While it's essential to recognize your conflicting thoughts, it is also crucial to avoid letting the confusion manifest. Dr. Murphy says that sometimes there is clarity in the slow-down — and it could be just what you need this holiday se...
2021-12-0930 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me65. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Three: Putting off DecisionsIf you're having an affair and want to change the situation, how can you overcome the fear of finding the right time — especially during the holiday season? Are you just avoiding the uncomfortable feelings about facing your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, feeling uneasy should not prevent you from doing what you want. Purposefully learning how to deal with the emotions that make you uncomfortable can help change your mindset and become someone who faces fears and does not let fear dictate decisions. This is your life — you're the one in charge of how to live it.
2021-12-0231 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me64. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part Two: Being the Other PersonIs your current infidelity situation what do you want this holiday season? How do you find significance and clarity in what you want? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the meanings we assign to the holidays will determine our experience this season. How you think you should feel determines your behavior — and your behavior will impact the results you see in life. When you can master your thoughts and have a clear understanding of what you believe to be true, you have the power to take action. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me...
2021-11-2524 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me63. Infidelity and the Holidays, Part OneAre you feeling pressure and guilt about your infidelity situation with the upcoming holidays? How do you find a sense of relief from the thoughts clouding your mind? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the key to clearing your mind is understanding the meaning you assign to your circumstances. We are constantly giving meaning to our lives, but it is essential to separate the facts from our stories. Dr. Murphy suggests forming the habit of examining your thoughts and beliefs in more neutral terms, so you can feel less pressure and guilt and start thinking more clearly about...
2021-11-1828 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me62. Making Difficult DecisionsDoes making a decision about your infidelity situation seem like an unfathomable problem? How can you make the best choice for yourself in the present moment? Understandably, many people do not want to face the consequences of their difficult choices. They tend to identify the uncomfortable emotions that come with these decisions as unfavorable — but Dr. Marie Murphy asks: what if these feelings aren't inherently negative? If you can recognize the inevitable discomfort of these emotions, you can make decisions that better align with your desires and priorities. In this episode of Your Secret is Sa...
2021-11-1125 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me61. Sex, Unhappiness, and Compromises in MarriageAre you wondering if you're compromising too much or not enough in your marriage? How do you know when you've crossed the threshold of unhappiness and need to make a change? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, our beliefs about what is possible determine what becomes possible. Your reality is what you make it — as long as you're willing to put in the work. While it can be challenging to address your feelings and desires, Dr. Murphy suggests that changing how you approach your marriage or relationship can drastically change how you experience it. In this ep...
2021-11-0425 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me60. Dealing with Other People's FeelingsHow are other people's feelings impacting your emotions and choices? What would happen if you started taking responsibility for your own feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's possible to take responsibility for your actions and feelings — without needing to feel responsible for other people's emotions. The path to peace is discovering the power of your own thoughts and learning to let go of other people's emotions. As Dr. Murphy says, no one can determine your feelings for you. It's up to you to manage your own thoughts — and your own discomfort. Join Dr. Marie Murp...
2021-10-2820 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me59. Is the Grass Always Greener?Are you questioning what you want out of your relationship? Society often hides the challenges of marriage, and many relationships don't work out. But, how do you know which path forward is the right one for you? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people enter into a marriage with little to no idea of what marriage means to them. They may believe it is the only legitimate form of partnership — without knowing what they want out of that partnership. And, when a marriage doesn't work out, many people see divorce as their only option for happiness. However, it...
2021-10-2125 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me58. Financial Fears, Divorce, and InfidelityWhen you imagine the worst-case scenario about a change in your finances, you may be ignoring the critical question: do you want to continue a romantic partnership with your spouse? Many people struggle to make a change to their infidelity situation because of financial concerns. So, how can you start alleviating your fears about money? Dr. Marie Murphy suggests taking the fears head-on, investigating your true feelings surrounding financial change, and asking yourself: is the money worth your unhappiness? Once you get clear on your values and what is most important to you, you can make the...
2021-10-1427 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me57. Re-Engaging in a Relationship After an AffairAre you considering re-engaging in a relationship after an affair but unsure where to start? Whether you want to reorient yourself with a partner after a period of disconnection, or you just want to be on neutral ground before deciding to leave, Dr. Marie Murphy is here to guide you through the process. The first step is asking yourself if you truly want to re-engage with your partner. If so, Dr. Murphy's strategies can help you manage unintentional thoughts, rekindle desire, and work toward the future you envision. In this episode of Your Secret is...
2021-10-0739 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me56. Cutting off Contact With Your Affair PartnerAre you trying to make changes to your infidelity situation, but are having difficulty dealing with the contradictions of your thoughts and desires? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the decisions surrounding infidelity may seem complicated — especially if you have strong feelings for your affair partner. But, if you don't have a clear reason for ending or staying in your relationship, you will never have a clear answer. Luckily, there are some techniques to help you identify the desires and motivations behind your choices. As Dr. Murphy says, once you recognize the value behind your decision, you can ta...
2021-09-3024 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me55. Contemplating Leaving Your MarriageDoes wanting to leave your marriage seem like an unsolvable problem? What do you do if the decision is unclear? It's completely normal to have concerns and fears when contemplating divorce. But, according to Dr. Marie Murphy, considering leaving your marriage does not equate to getting a divorce. By taking the time to acknowledge your dissatisfaction with your marriage and work through your mixed emotions, you can find the solution that is right for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy examines the difficult emotions behind contemplating divorce...
2021-09-2321 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me54. Embracing Your ContradictionsDo you feel stuck in a cycle of conflicting thoughts and emotions? Contradicting feelings can be draining, confusing, and overwhelming — but do they need to be? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, in order to resolve these contradictions, you must first acknowledge the good parts of your infidelity situation. While it's essential to recognize these emotions, it doesn't mean they need to define your relationship. Dr. Murphy says that the best way to overcome these difficult thoughts is to have self-acceptance about the positives and negatives associated with your behaviors — and then take action. In this epis...
2021-09-1627 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me52. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part ThreeAre you seeking to free yourself from other people's thoughts about your infidelity? If you're having an affair, other people may cast a blanket of disapproval over your situation — and that can cause you to start forming the same negative opinions. But, do you really want to give someone that power over your beliefs and feelings? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's common for people to seek approval from others about their decisions. But it doesn't have to be that way. As Dr. Murphy says, you get to decide what you believe about yourself and your situation. On...
2021-09-0225 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me51. Dealing with Other People's Opinions, Part TwoWhat do you want people to believe about you? Other people's opinions can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself. Different people will have positive and negative opinions, but when they are not aligned with your own, it's easy to devalue yourself. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, many people conceptualize their opinions of what is right or wrong as being fundamentally correct — but this is not always valid. Although it's common to desire the approval of other people, it's important to avoid whittling yourself away because of the opinions of others. According to Dr. Murphy, yo...
2021-08-2630 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me49. In Defense of "New Relationship Energy"New relationships carry a special energy, often referred to as the "honeymoon period." But what happens after the excitement wears off? Is the relationship doomed — or can this energy spark a long-term bond? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, "new relationship energy" isn't always a bad thing. While it's important to recognize its existence and role in your relationship, it doesn't mean that the romance is over once this excitement wears off. So, how can you continue to build a sustainable relationship after the initial spark fades away? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe Wi...
2021-08-1222 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me48. Forgiving YourselfDo you feel stuck in a loop of self-loathing? Are there moments in your past that you feel helpless to change, so you end up re-playing them over and over again in your head? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's important to stop blaming and shaming yourself and start releasing your own pain. While forgiving yourself doesn't mean getting a free pass to abdicate any kind of responsibility, you can shift your focus to the more positive contributions that you want to make. This way, your past mistakes can become mileposts of learning, not events to watch...
2021-08-0519 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me47. Being the "Other Person," Part ThreeBeing the "other person" in an affair is complicated, to say the least. You fell in love with an amazing person, but are now stuck waiting for them to leave their long-term partner. With such difficult emotions at play, how can you choose the best path forward? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's easy to obsess over your partner's decisions when you're the "other person" in an affair. However, it's important to remember that you have ultimate control over your life — and the decisions you make in your relationship. While you may not be able to change wh...
2021-07-2922 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me46. Dealing With Other People's Opinions, Part OnePeople have opinions about everything. However, when those opinions turn negative and become directed at you, it can feel extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes it might seem easier to try and avoid the discomfort by hiding your true desires or beliefs. But that response typically isn't what's best for you. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, embracing discomfort is sometimes the only way you can truly start feeling better. Doing the right thing for yourself will occasionally result in judgment from others — and that's okay. The important part is learning how to deal with the way other people view your de...
2021-07-2247 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me45. Being the "Other Person," Part TwoIf you've ever been the "other person" in an affair, you're probably familiar with how challenging that role can be. And, it can feel even more complicated when being the "other person" turns into a pattern. So, if you've found yourself in this position repeatedly and it's not fulfilling your desires, what can you do to change your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, sometimes being the "other person" can feel like a tragic curse that you can't shake. However, if you want things to be different, only you have the power to change your circumstances. Today...
2021-07-1523 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me43. Being the "Other Person," Part OneBeing the "other person" in an affair can be exciting, but it also comes with its own unique challenges. You may sometimes feel like you're stuck or powerless in your situation. And, because of the taboo nature of the relationship, you might not have anyone to talk to about your feelings besides your affair partner. So, how can you figure out what you really want from your relationship and start changing your circumstances today? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have more power over your situation than you think. However, you need to get clear about your...
2021-07-0129 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me42. The Mindset of Pleasure with Danielle SavoryHow does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more pleasure in your relationship and life? According to pleasure expert Danielle Savory, you can transform the way you experience your relationship simply by changing how you think. As she says, people in long-term relationships often unintentionally eliminate the things that create desire and make the relationship exciting — but it doesn't have to be that way. By understanding yourself and your expectations more clearly, you can break out of old patterns and...
2021-06-2450 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me41. Clarifying What You Want in a RelationshipIf you aren't getting what you want out of your relationship, what can you do to make a change? Couples therapy is one option, but it doesn't always work for every relationship. Fortunately, there are other ways of improving your relationship and satisfying your individual needs. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, there is no simple, one-size-fits-all solution — and no one but you can tell you what you need. As she says, you'll have to decide for yourself what's truly right for you. However, there are techniques that can help you identify your wants and desires and learn th...
2021-06-1737 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me40. Blow Your House Down with Gina FrangelloWhen everyday life is chaotic, difficult, or unfulfilling, affairs can offer an escape from reality. However, the deception of an affair isn't always limited to the lies we tell others — trying to escape reality can also be a way of deceiving ourselves. According to author Gina Frangello, nothing is really an escape. She understands how, at first, leading a double life can feel exciting and intoxicating. But, while it may initially seem like a neat compartmentalized part of your life, your affair will eventually overlap with your other relationships and challenges. Once this happens, Gina suggests that th...
2021-06-1049 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me39. Healing from Heartbreak with Dorothy JohnsonHeartbreak can be devastating. And, it's not just the loss of the relationship itself that is so painful — there are also messy feelings involved with the practicalities of untangling your life from someone else's. So how do you move forward in a healthy way? Is there a technique for transforming your pain into something better? According to Breakup Coach Dorothy Johnson, you can turn your pain into power with the right tools and perspectives. As she says, your internal beliefs are much stronger than your external circumstances. So, if you believe that things are going to improve, yo...
2021-06-0344 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me38. Sexuality, Religion, and Shame with Melissa HiteUnfortunately, sexuality and shame frequently go hand-in-hand, and religion's messages about sex may be partially to blame. Even if you aren't religious, you can still be affected by the messages that have seeped into society — such as the ideas that masturbation is bad or pleasure is wrong. So, how can you overcome these problematic frameworks and rewire your relationship to sex? As a Sexual-Spiritual Advisor, Melissa Hite helps her clients reframe their sexual response cycles and embrace their natural sexuality. As she says, you can't suppress sexual energy; it's a part of who you are. But, religious me...
2021-05-2741 min
Wake Up To Your Wealth with Julie MurphySeason 1 EP 1 Aaron Doughty Podcast The Vibration of Money with Julie Marie MurphyArron Doughty Podcast
Do you have any money blocks? If you do, this amazing talk I had with Julie Marie Murphy will help you understand your energy around money, how to get rid of different blocks and have a much better relationship with it.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1t2iKdJX8xNzzkygYMjbLQ?si=2t-PxIAmRlKgxU7FNZFAHQ
Julie Murphy CLU, ChFC, CFP®, is an independent CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER®, author and media expert who wants you to heal your emotions so you can prosper financially, and in life.
Her new book, Awaken Your Wealth, a...
2021-05-2459 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me37. Discomfort, Drama, and InfidelityWanting relief from uncomfortable feelings doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. In fact, it's a natural, human response. However, it's important to determine whether you're actually dealing with your discomfort or simply avoiding it. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, the short-term satisfaction you find through avoiding uncomfortable feelings is typically outweighed by long-term consequences. But, many people aren't taught how to deal with discomfort in a constructive way. That's where Dr. Murphy comes in. She has the tools and strategies you need to increase your capacity to tolerate discomfort without numbing your feelings or looking for...
2021-05-2022 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me36. Good Enough Sex with Dr. Barry McCarthyWhat does it mean to have good sex? Has science uncovered the truth about what feeds desire? And, is there a way to redefine your understanding of sexuality and rekindle a positive sexual relationship with your partner? According to Dr. Barry McCarthy, sexuality consists of three components: intimacy, pleasure, and eroticism. For a healthy sexual relationship to exist, those components need to be balanced and approached with realistic expectations. So, how can you start having better sex today? Dr. McCarthy suggests that instead of viewing sex as a pass or fail experience, couples should work on finding...
2021-05-1342 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me35. Changes and Choices in Relationships with Yael Haklai-NeaguWhen a couple relocates for one person's job, it can be difficult to adjust to the new circumstances. Yael Haklai-Neagu, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, knows from first-hand experience just how challenging that process can be. When she moved to the United States for her partner's job 16 years ago, she had to overcome a number of difficulties — including the extra stress the relocation placed on her relationship. According to Yael, the individual who moves for their partner's job (also known as the trailing spouse) has two challenges to overcome: grieving the loss of what they left be...
2021-05-0632 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me34. Mindfulness, Music, and Relationships with Dr. Richard GoldHow can you lower your levels of anxiety, stress, and negativity? Is it possible to change how you feel by changing the way that you think? And, can you improve your relationships by learning how to be more present? According to Dr. Richard Gold, mindfulness and meditation are the keys to relieving your stress, boosting your mood, and even improving your relationships. He suggests that by changing how you think about your circumstances, you can affect psychological changes and form new pathways in your brain. This means that you can start creating new, meaningful relationships with yourself...
2021-04-2948 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me33. How to Deal with Missing Your Affair PartnerDealing with the loss of any relationship can be difficult, and the end of an affair is no different. However, because of the secretive and taboo nature of infidelity, navigating the emotional aftermath can be confusing and lonely — especially if there's nowhere to turn for support. So, how can you manage that lingering sadness and find the right path forward? If you're looking for a better way to deal with your emotions after an affair, Dr. Marie Murphy suggests that you begin by changing how you think about it. As she says, you don't have to change yo...
2021-04-2227 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me32. Money and Your Relationships with Christine LukenLeaving a bad relationship can be scary when you don't have the resources to support yourself on your own. But, figuring out how to manage your finances is only part of the equation. Dealing with your emotional entanglements with money can be just as challenging as you work to get yourself back on track—and prepare for future relationships. This was especially true for Financial Coach Christine Luken, who had to deal with the painful financial aftermath of leaving a seven-year relationship. That experience taught her a lesson that her accounting classes never covered: emotions play a ma...
2021-04-1540 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me31. A Happy Life in an Open Relationship with Susan WenzelYou should never try and fit yourself into a mold of someone else's preferences. But, deciding to go against societal norms can be challenging. So, how do you know if a big decision—such as opening up your relationship—will be worth it in the end? When Susan Wenzel decided to try nonmonogamy with her partner, she struggled with a range of difficult emotions before finding happiness. As she says, we can't know what the future holds, but we are responsible for our choices—including how we choose to perceive our circumstances. By taking responsibility for what she co...
2021-04-0839 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me30. Affair Recovery for Couples with Idit SharoniRecovering from an affair is a difficult and emotional process. From dealing with shame to deciding whether or not to move forward, many couples aren't sure of how to begin healing. Wouldn't it be helpful if there was someone you could turn to for guidance on your journey to a new and stronger relationship? After working with couples who were recovering from infidelity, Idit Sharoni realized that what they needed most was a roadmap to healing—so she created one. Although the path isn't necessarily linear, Idit helps couples embark upon their journey with an actionable plan. Ac...
2021-04-0157 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me29. How to Have a Secret AffairMost people would agree that your partner can't fill every role in your life, but what happens when they're unwilling to explore your sexual desires? If you love your spouse and don't want to break up your family, do you simply accept going without and learn to live with suppressing your sexual needs? After spending years repressing her sexual desires and coping with feelings of rejection in her marriage, Nikki S. concluded that it was her responsibility to fulfill her own needs. So, she decided to start a "double life" and seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere. But, before...
2021-03-2546 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me28. When You're the One Who Cheats with Dr. Tammy NelsonAffairs can be intoxicating, but they can also leave you feeling confused and ashamed once the excitement wears off. So, why do people cheat, and what makes an affair difficult to end? And, once you've been caught in your lie, how can you salvage your relationship? A lot of the answers for why we do what we do can be traced back to the chemicals flooding our brains. Much like being under the influence of a drug, our chemical response to a new or elicit relationship can make it difficult to see things clearly—and it can ta...
2021-03-1842 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me27. Recovering from Trauma in Relationships with Altagracia M. FelixGetting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, but the work doesn't end there—not if you truly want to revitalize and reinvent your life. But, where do you begin when you're ready to start over? Alta M. Felix understands how difficult it is to move on and begin to heal after surviving trauma. She has experienced firsthand what it's like to rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship, and now she wants to help other women let go of the past and work toward a better future. With her strategies and techniques, you can overcome your tr...
2021-03-1151 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me26. Having an Affair to Save a MarriageAll relationships change over time, but how often do you renegotiate the rules surrounding them? What happens when a long and happy marriage becomes sexless? Do you have options beyond ending the marriage or compromising your needs? After spending time in therapy with her husband trying to deal with their differing sex drives, Janine came up with a solution. Instead of throwing away her entire marriage over one missing part, she decided to outsource that one aspect to save the rest. Now, she is in a satisfying affair and her marriage is even happier than before.
2021-03-0431 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me25. Financial Infidelity with Adam KolMoney is a taboo subject in any situation—but when it comes to relationships, talking about finances can feel downright impossible. With financial stress being one of the top causes of divorce, it's no wonder that most of us would rather avoid the topic altogether. But, according to Couples Financial Coach Adam Kol, skirting the conversation often only makes things worse. With years of experience helping couples sort out the messy details around love and money, Adam Kol will be the first to tell you that avoiding these conversations is a quick way to start building resentment. As...
2021-02-2547 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me24. All About Ashley Madison with Isabella MiseWhy do people cheat, and how has the COVID-19 pandemic changed infidelity? Is it even possible to have an affair during a pandemic? And, is honesty always the best policy? Perhaps the answer isn't as straightforward as society likes to presume. During her time working at Ashley Madison, Isabella Mise has learned that where there's a will there's a way. She has gained fascinating insights from conversations with hundreds of members who use the site regularly. As she says, people have affairs for a wide variety of reasons, especially during a pandemic—and these reasons are generally no...
2021-02-1848 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me23. Deciding to End a CommitmentWhat power do commitments hold over your life? Are they positive, negative, or something to fear? And, once you commit, do you feel like you have to stick with it, regardless of the cost? What if the price you pay is your own happiness? Commitments are highly valued in our society, and they can be a powerful tool to help us achieve our goals. But what if we've committed to an outdated version of our wants and needs? For many, commitments are seen as something we're obliged to stick with, whether it's in our best interest or...
2021-02-1129 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me22. The Beauty of Conflict for Couples with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan ClarkeMost people don't like conflict. In fact, many of us try to avoid it at all costs. When it comes to relationships, conflict is usually thought of as bad. But, what if conflict was actually a sign of a healthy relationship? CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke don't shy away from conflict—in their relationship or in business. At their coaching and consulting company, Thrive! Inc., they encourage other couples, teams, and individuals to face their fears and break down the barriers to addressing healthy conflict. In their opinion, happy relationships are not always easy—and that's okay.
2021-02-0456 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me21. Shameless Sex with Amy BaldwinThere is often a lot of shame that comes with talking about sex. Am I sexy? Is my libido too high or too low? What if I can't get my partner to orgasm? What if I can't climax? Is it too kinky to introduce toys—or not kinky enough? Amy Baldwin deals with a lot of shame in her work as a sex educator and coach. But, she doesn't think we should shy away from these intrusive thoughts; in fact, she says that ignoring our insecurities will only cause them to eventually bubble to the surface. Instead, Am...
2021-01-2853 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me20. If You've Cheated on Your Partner, Do You Have to Tell Them?Here's a tricky question: should you tell your partner if you've cheated on them? While many people believe that there is a simple "yes" or "no" answer, this question may be a bit more complicated than we think. Disclosing your infidelity to your partner isn't a matter-of-fact situation. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, you're not obligated to tell anyone about your affair—whether it was a one-time thing or a long-term relationship. But, every action has a consequence, so regardless of what you decide to do, it's important to carefully consider your honest wants and needs. ...
2021-01-2123 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me19. Divorce and Your Money with Shawn LeamonThere is a whole mess of social pressures around considering divorce: what will your family and friends think? What will a separation do to your kids? How will you be viewed in social and professional spaces after getting divorced? But, what about the financial considerations? What happens if you and your partner are both in agreement that a separation would be best, but you don't think you can afford to make it happen? This is where a financial analyst comes in handy. They can help you make the best decisions depending on your financial situation, so you...
2021-01-1449 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me18. Talking to Your Kids About InfidelitySo, you've had an affair and your family has found out about it. What now? Before you can even contemplate making a decision, the first thought that runs through your mind is: what about the kids? It can be incredibly difficult to navigate complex situations such as infidelity when you're just dealing with yourself and your partner—but add your children into the mix and it can feel downright impossible. While Dr. Marie Murphy says this is completely normal, there is something you're going to have to examine if you want to come out on the other si...
2021-01-0723 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me17. New Year's Resolutions with Dr. Jonathan HorowitzThe New Year is fast approaching and everyone's mind has turned to the same thing: resolutions for 2021. But before you start listing down all the things you want to change for the coming year, there are two important questions that you might not have asked yourself in a while that can help you determine what to add to your list: What do you really want? And more importantly, why do you want it? According to Dr. Jonathan Horowitz, getting honest about your answer to the questions above won't just help you set your intentions for...
2020-12-3141 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me16. How to Have Difficult Conversations with Your Kids with Abigail WaldWhen something big happens in your life, it doesn't just affect you—it also impacts everyone around you. This is especially true when you have children. So, how do you navigate talking to your kids about the more difficult life changes, such as infidelity, separation, or divorce? Instead of descending into a nervous sweat or putting on the cone of silence, parenting coach Abigail Wald says to take it a little bit easier on yourself. Why? Because your children are incredibly capable—and they probably know more than you think. In this episode of Your Secre...
2020-12-2443 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me15. Relationships and the Tarot with Courtney MooreWhat's in the cards for the future of your romantic relationships? Undying love? Heartbreak? Freedom—or constraints? If you're curious to know what lies ahead, you may have considered going for a card reading to find out. But, according to medical intuitive Courtney Moore, the Tarot isn't for future-telling—it's for guidance. Courtney sees the Tarot as an information gathering system to help you make the decisions that will best serve you (and that you may have been putting off). Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me as she...
2020-12-1750 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me14. So You Were Cheated On—Now What?Have you ever felt responsible for your partner's feelings? When they're reacting to something you've done, it can be hard not to feel like it's your job to make them feel better. But, guess what: someone else's emotions are not under your control—nor should they be. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, taking responsibility for your feelings, and your feelings alone, is an essential step in building a healthy relationship—or dealing with the aftermath of an affair. As she says, there is only one path to freedom, and it involves taking ownership of your individual emotions, beha...
2020-12-1030 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me13. A Private Investigator's Perspective on Infidelity with Art TilisWe've all seen the movies: someone suspects they're being cheated on, so they call a private investigator to follow their partner in a high-speed chase that ends in a dramatic scene. However, the reality is just a bit different. Art Tilis, a private investigator and the Owner of Foglight Investigations, has received many calls from clients who believe their partner is having an affair. According to Art, the investigation process is a bit different from what we've seen on television and the big screen—but he has still experienced his fair share of climactic scenes, pun intended....
2020-12-0331 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me12. Legal Implications of Infidelity with Rodrigo DiasWhen it comes to infidelity, there are a lot of different thoughts that may run through someone's mind. Why did this happen? Did I do something wrong? And, importantly: what do we do now? The response to infidelity looks different for everyone. While some couples may choose to work it out, others may look to divorce—which, in many cases, involves the discussion of custody agreements, property division, spousal support, and more. In today's episode, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by Rodrigo Dias, a family law attorney, to discuss the first steps to take if the path yo...
2020-11-2639 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me11. Personal Stories of Infidelity with Suzannah WeissThere's a lot of black and white thinking when it comes to the way we regard infidelity as a society. You're either cheating or you're not; you're either right or you're wrong; you're either good or you're bad. In Suzannah Weiss's case, however, she was largely operating in the gray. As a sex and relationship writer, Suzannah went through her own experience of cheating, for lack of a better word, on her boyfriend of three years. After getting a better idea of what she does and doesn't want from a partnership, they parted ways amicably—but it to...
2020-11-1927 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me10. Polyamory with Magenta BrooksDepending on who you're talking to, polyamory can be a bad word. Many people believe that entering a poly relationship is an excuse to have your cake and eat it too, a way to exert control over a significant other, or a loophole to avoid breaking up. Magenta Brooks is here to tell you that polyamory—and more specifically, ethical non-monogamy—is none of those things. With honest communication and vulnerability, it can be a relationship dynamic that fully and authentically serves everyone involved. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me, Dr. Mari...
2020-11-1257 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me9. Debunking Myths About InfidelityWhy are you married? Did you fall in love with another person and come to a decision to share your lives together with official documentation? Did you feel happy? Or, did you feel pressured, like you had no other choice? To date, marriage is still seen as the most legitimate form a relationship can take. Coupled with surmounting societal pressure to "settle down" once you reach a certain age, it can be hard to consider that there may be other options—especially if you feel like marriage, or even monogamy, aren't right for you. In th...
2020-11-0524 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me8. So You're Having an Affair—Now What?Guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. These are often the first few words that come to mind when we talk about affairs. What you might not know, however, is that affairs involve a complexity of emotions, including confusion, anxiety, and yes, even excitement. Recognizing and processing what you're feeling during an affair requires some real work and hard confrontations. But, if you're honest with yourself and avoid taking tempting shortcuts, you can make it to the other side with the most important emotion still intact: your happiness. Join Dr. Marie Murphy on this episode of Your Secret is...
2020-10-2939 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me7. Nonviolent Communication with Joyce SwavingSo, you're in a monogamous relationship and you've been seeing someone outside of it. Or, perhaps you've found out that your partner has another relationship that you knew nothing about. The question remains the same: how do you talk about it? For nonviolent communication specialist Joyce Swaving, honest communication is key. But to ensure that you're communicating safely and effectively, it's important to practice nonviolence during these difficult conversations with your partner. Joyce's advice? Enter the dialogue with the intention of having kindness and empathy, try to stay nonreactive, and always honor the other person's right to...
2020-10-2234 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me6. Historical Perspectives on Marriage with Dr. Devon SmithThe college degree, the 9-5 office job, the white picket fence, and, most importantly, the loving spouse and 2.5 children: once you've achieved these, you have it all! Or, do you? Whether we're aware of it or not, we've been taught that there's a right way to do life—especially when it comes to our romantic relationships. In our culture, we're told that to have a healthy love life, we must have one partner who serves all of our needs. Without any deviations, this relationship should end in marriage and a few children; till death do us part....
2020-10-1547 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me5. Decision-Making and Your Power to ChooseThink about the last time you were in a difficult situation. How did you maneuver it? Were you ultimately able to choose how to move forward? And most importantly: was the decision you made in your own best interest? There's a lot that goes into our decision-making process—probably more than we realize. When you're operating in the gray area of what's "right" and what's "wrong," it can be hard to separate how the choices you make will be perceived from how they will actually make you feel. In these situations, Dr. Marie Murphy has one question fo...
2020-10-0827 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me4. Safe Sex Basics with Lisa BayaniIt's that pivotal scene in the movie: The couple who has been at odds is about to consummate their passion and get into bed. Things are getting steamy, clothes are being thrown around, and then they're under the sheets. But did anyone reach for protection? A condom? A dental dam? Anything? With references to protection being left out of scenes like this in movies, books, and porn, it begs the question: Can safe sex be sexy? And if not, what are the consequences? According to nurse practitioner Lisa Bayani, it's up to you to make sure you're...
2020-10-0147 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me3. Emotions, Relationships, and the BodyThe human spectrum of emotion is vast; we can feel any number of them in any given hour. But, with the way that we're socially taught how to express and process what we're feeling, that scale ends up feeling a lot shorter. So how can we more consciously experience our emotions in our day-to-day lives? According to Mark Anthony Haviland, the ability to physically experience our emotions is something that we haven't really been taught—but it's a skill that can grant us a deeper understanding of ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us. With over 20 ye...
2020-09-2446 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me2. Emotions 101How do you respond to conflict? Do you shut down and try to push the discomfort away? Or, do you barrel through the situation and burn down anything in your path? Whatever your response, do you take the time to process what you're feeling? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many of us never slow down long enough to process our emotions. In fact, more often than not, we don't know what we're actually feeling during moments of tension, such as an affair. As Dr. Murphy says, the way we've been taught to understand our emotions has distorted...
2020-09-2429 minYour Secret Is Safe With Me1. An Introduction to the New PodcastHave you ever been in a sticky situation and felt unable to reach out to a friend or family member for advice? What if that sticky situation was an affair—do you know how you would work it out? Do you have anyone you'd feel safe enough to call? More often than not, the answer is no. The stigma surrounding infidelity is pervasive, but what people who are going through this situation need most is a safe space to work through their feelings. This is Dr. Marie Murphy's approach: providing a shame-free, blame-free atmosphere for people to pr...
2020-09-1017 min