Shows
NOPENancy Reagan: The OG Throat GOAT (feat. Glace Chase)This week we shut down Mark Meadows and his run-out-the-clock hail Mary strategy to evade accountability for his role in Donald Trump’s attempt to overthrow the government. Former Senate candidate Max Linn, the first person to get COVID in Maine, died in a hot tub following a dispute over (what else?) cryptocurrency. Our roving Australian correspondent, playwright Glace Chase, explains why “Throat Goat” was trending on Twitter and what this all has to do with former first lady Nancy Reagan. And finally, 40 camels in Saudi Arabia were disqualified from a beauty pageant after it was revealed that they took p...
2021-12-1753 min
NOPEFacebook: The Metaverse Musical!We’re reeling and retching after watching the internal Facebook music video about health insurance open enrollment. But we attempt to collect ourselves and shut down anti-goverment militia members who happen to work for the government as well as anti-mask/anti-vaxx NYC police officers marching for “freedom of choice.” Also: we discuss why guns are ever allowed on movie sets amid the golden age of CGI. HEAR US ON ITUNEShttps://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/OVERCASThttps://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFYhttps://open.spoti...
2021-10-2848 min
NOPEWe're Amazon Prime’s Fastest-Growing Podcast!This week, former White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham revealed in her memoir that a staffer known as The Music Man would blast show tunes to soothe Donald Trump’s nerves when he was going nuclear. An executive at a media company we never heard of called Ozy Media impersonated a YouTube executive on a conference call with Goldman Sachs. Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes’s new father-in-law, hotelier Bill Evans, went undercover as a automotive-enthusiast-turned-media-watchdog named Hanson at her trial. Finally, we explore a highly unusual $14 million real estate listing in Maryland. bop! HEAR US ON ITUN...
2021-09-3052 min
NOPECancel the Yoga Debt!As New York City’s Board of Elections struggled with tabulating ranked-choice votes, we shut down Bill Barr’s attempts at a reputational glow up and “pastel Qanon,” aka California yoga instructors who are embracing bonkers right-wing conspiracy theories. Sea snot is taking over the Turkish coastline and threatening to disrupt NATO. Finally, the latest installment of our Summer Music Series, in which we explore the meaning and message of Billy Idol’s iconic video for “Dancing With Myself.” HEAR US ON ITUNEShttps://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/OVERCASThttps://ove...
2021-07-011h 04
NOPEE148: All I Want for Christmas is NOPE!This week, as the Great Conjunction brought Saturn and Jupiter into alignment and kicked off a new astrological epoch, we say “Bye Felicia!” to 2020. We shut down the interregnum period, Presidential pardon power and cannibal sandwiches (a Wisconsin specialty). Finally, we delve into the three best Christmas songs of all time -- and Brian treats us to a rare live performance of Mariah music theory. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/0...
2020-12-2444 min
NOPEE140: We're Packing the Supreme Court!This week, even the Vatican was trying to be a moderating influence as Handmaid Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed to the Supreme Court. The Trump Administration tried to enlist an unusual constituency to get early doses of the Covid-19 vaccine: professional Santas. A small Alpine town in Switzerland became a coronavirus hotspot following a dangerous yodelling competition. Finally, we have some film criticism. Rachel gives Sofia Coppola’s new movie “On the Rocks” a big NOPE, while Brian offers a YUP to “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm” starring Sacha Baron Cohen and rising superstar Maria Bakalova of Bulgaria. It’s been a terrible w...
2020-10-2939 min
NOPEE137: $750 is Less than ZeroThis week, we shut down the debate from hell and Sen. Kelly Loeffler’s endorsement from Atilla the Hun. Brian unearths a letter he wrote to President Carter in 1980. And we explore a new service that bills itself as the Uber of bodyguards. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-week-in-nope SOUNDCLOUD https...
2020-10-0133 min
NOPEE136: You'll Never Believe Who's a Furry!This week, Michael Caputo had a meltdown on Facebook, Donald Trump was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize and–spoiler alert–90-year-old retired Sheriff Joe Arpaio, a pardoned criminal, came out on Cameo as a member of the “furry” subculture. Also: we decide which animals emerged as the biggest winners and losers of the Covid-19 pandemic. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https...
2020-09-1744 min
NOPEE133: Susan B. Anthony, Felon No More!This week, Donald Trump pardoned another dead person to score political points with anti-choice activists, two maniacs won Republican Congressional primaries in Florida and Georgia, and the CEO of MyPillow is touting a new-yet-unproven miracle cure for Covid-19. A Melbourne artist is self-inseminating for a lockdown livestream performance art piece. To top it off–quite literally–we’re in the throes of a global pepperoni shortage. Finally, for our Summer Music Series we discuss another Italian adaptation, Laura Branigan’s 1984 hit, “Self Control.” HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-n...
2020-08-2048 min
NOPEE132: Under (Water) Pressure!This week, we shut down Donald Trump’s ongoing attempts to steal the election by dismantling the U.S. Postal Service. (On the plus side, he’s rolling back water-pressure regulations so he can powerwash his surgically implanted toupee.) Also on the docket: Jerry Falwell, Jr. gets caught with his pants down and a marauding band of wild boars strikes again, stealing a naked man’s laptop in Berlin. For our Summer Music Series this week, we discuss the disastrous video for an amazing song: Tina Turner’s “Typical Male.” HEAR US ON ITUNES https://it...
2020-08-1447 min
NOPEE131: Yo Semites! Let's Go to Australia!This week, we shut down the scourge of “mystery seeds” being sent to unsuspecting customers via Amazon. Amy Adams gets another shot at Oscars glory with a new film called “Nightbitch.” Jeffrey Epstein’s New York City mansion hits the market for $88 million. And finally, the latest edition of our Summer Music Series features “Obsession,” a 1984 hit by Animotion. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STIT...
2020-08-0644 min
NOPEE130: The Demon Vaccine is Here!This week, we shut down Donald Trump’s new trusted medical advisor, Dr. Stella Immanuel–aka Dr. Demon Sperm. Also on the docket: we explore the controversial #IAcceptTheChallenge black & white selfie campaign, the Chainsmokers concert/super-spreader event in the Hamptons, and a tour of Gigi Hadid’s apartment, where everyone is welcome. Last but not least, our latest Summer Music Series installment, featuring “Torture” the 1984 song off The Jacksons’ Victory album -- one of the worst videos of all time. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST
2020-07-3046 min
NOPEE129: Turkey Legs and Luscious Lips!This week, we shut down the Trump campaign’s nonsense ‘911’ ad, a fish with luscious lips and Disney World’s draconian rules prohibiting walking while eating. We have some breaking news out of Italy about the death of Renaissance painter Raphael. Also: our Summer Music Series installment, featuring Go West’s 1990 hit, “The King of Wishful Thinking.” HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER h...
2020-07-2338 min
NOPEE128: Help! We Can't Tweet! (feat. Conor Dougherty)This week we are joined by special guest Conor Dougherty, New York Times reporter and author of the new book “Golden Gates,” about the California housing crisis. We shut down the Battle of the Beans, a man-bites-seagull story out of England and the casting call for a Lord of the Rings prequel. Also: Deniece Williams’s iconic “Let’s Hear it for the Boy” is the latest installment in our NOPE Summer Music Series. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes13126545...
2020-07-1646 min
NOPESummer PSA: Back Next Week!Rachel's got shingles (the shingles?) and Brian's on vacation (the vacation?) ... which is to say we'll be back next week with a great #NOPE episode including the latest installment in our critically acclaimed Summer Music Series! And, oh yeah, we threw in some bonus content: two YUPs to get you through the break!
2020-07-0903 min
NOPEE127: Bronies Get Out the Vote! (feat. Erin Geiger Smith)This week, we are joined by a very special guest: Erin Geiger Smith, author of the new book “Thank You For Voting.” We shut down Nazi Bronies, Mel Gibson’s antisemitic cocktail-party banter and Trump’s latest series of meltdowns over ramps, John Bolton and his long-lost niece Mary. Also: Captain and Tennille’s “Love Will Keep Us Together” is the latest installment in our NOPE Summer Music Series. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://ope...
2020-06-2557 min
NOPEE126: Everybody Gets a Pentacle!This week, Rachel attempts to give a Zoom tarot card reading and things are not looking good. Anti-bathing cult members were arrested in Hawaii for violating quarantine. A woman in China says her car was damaged by falling tofu. eBay executives were arrested for sending a middle-aged Massachusetts couple “unwanted and disturbing deliveries” including live spiders and a bloody pig’s face because they said negative things about eBay in their newsletter. And finally, the Nope Summer Music Series revisits the 1980s hit “Xanadu,” featuring Olivia Newton John and Gene Kelly on roller skates. HEAR US ON ITUNES...
2020-06-1841 min
NOPEE125: Can't Stop the Music!Just when we thought we had uncovered every possible way to die, a porn star was arrested in Spain for killing a man in a mystical ritual involving toad venom. In an overdue reckoning, several editors at traditional media outlets have resigned owing to past racist behavior as well as present dereliction of duty. Who among us could have ever imagined that the winner of the Miss Hitler beauty pageant would be a neo-Nazi? And finally, we begin our much-anticipated Summer Music Series with a deep analysis of Donald Trump’s favorite anthem: “Macho Man” by The Village People. ...
2020-06-1144 min
NOPEE124: Let's Get Biblical!The old adage is true: you can put lipstick on a pig but you cannot shit in a wig, as Lea Michele learned this week. We shut down the MAGA crowd’s attraction to the music of the Village People as well as Trump’s horrific photo op masterminded by Ivanka. We also address several social media nopes, such as comparing the #BlackLivesMatter movement to veganism. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/sh...
2020-06-0432 min
NOPEE123: Karens: Unmasked!This week we shut down the wolves and the Karens. Specifically, two authors of so-called “wolf-kink erotica” are embroiled in a legal battle over who has dominion over a place called the Omegaverse. Meanwhile, an orchestra of Bolivian pan flautists are stranded in a haunted German castle surrounded by 23 packs of wolves. Also on the agenda: big nope to Central Park Karen, and a discussion of the plight of Karens who are not “Karens” (and the Amys who very much are.) HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST ht...
2020-05-2843 min
NOPEE122: In the Kitchen with Robert Pattinson!It’s been another terrible week. Since we last spoke, Alison Roman’s column has been temporarily suspended from the New York Times, leaving us stuck at home with ingredients but no delicious new recipes. Enter Robert Pattinson, who demonstrated how to make an innovative pasta dish in GQ Magazine this month. We also shut down the emerging Ronan Farrow controversy and the critically acclaimed (by him) biography of John Loeb, Jr. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope S...
2020-05-2141 min
NOPEE121: We're Churning Butter Like It's 1899!Our conversation this week extends from the Little House to the Waffle House, as Americans embrace 19th Century technology and get into fisticuffs over improperly prepared eggs. We also shut down Alison Roman v. Chrissy Teigen, shy eels in Japan, and the recently unearthed video for Umberto Tozzi’s 1979 hit, “Gloria.” HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-wee...
2020-05-1548 min
NOPEE120: Murder Hornets She Wrote!As we enter our second month of sheltering in place, we learned this week of more plagues: a Polar Vortex is about to hit the Eastern seaboard and Murder Hornets have made landfall in Washington state. Meanwhile, Elon Musk and Grimes welcomed their baby boy, named X Æ A-12 Musk and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has decided he has no choice but to eat his neighbors. Struggling with all this confusion and upheaval, we turn to the Asparagus Whisperer to find out what the future holds. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us...
2020-05-0739 min
NOPEE119: We're Drinking Bleach on Zoom!This week, we bring to bear all of our expertise as native Long Islanders to analyze the new film “Bad Education,” starring Hugh Jackman as Dr. Frank Tassone, the grifting former superintendent of the Roslyn school district. We also explore MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell’s new memoir, “What are the Odds? From Crack Addict to CEO,” and grapple with Zoom etiquette. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ ...
2020-05-0137 min
NOPEE118: The Cottonelle Conspiracy...Unrolled!This week we contemplate life without toilet paper. We try to understand what really happened when Gov. Cuomo met his daughter’s boyfriend for a home-cooked meatball dinner. Also on the docket: to corona shame or not to corona shame? ***Check out CuomoSays.com for cool merch featuring Andrew Cuomo’s best Powerpoint slides. All proceeds go to the Food Bank of New York City*** HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY htt...
2020-04-2330 min
NOPEE117: Rats Get Ready to Rumble!This week we explore how animals are adapting to life in the age of Covid. We found that rats are resorting to cannibalism, goats are taking over entire towns and people are inviting llamas to their Zoom conferences to spice things up. Also on the docket: who is Joe Pizza and what does he have to do with Donald Trump’s enthusiasm for hydroxychloroquine? Is professional wrestling really an “essential business”? And what happened to Jared Kushner’s cutie-pie dimples? HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST
2020-04-1640 min
NOPEE116: Nope in the Time of Covid!We’re back after a very dramatic one-month hiatus during which we both battled the coronavirus. We share our personal experiences with the virus, and continue to shut down our federal government’s callous disregard for humanity as they profit from the crisis. Also on the docket: a South African couple has been marooned in the Maldives at a five-star resort since March 22; Andrew Cuomo’s possibly pierced nipples have caused a stir among fans and Dr. Deborah Birx has emerged as a Zoom fashion icon. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us...
2020-04-1039 min
NOPEPSA: Back Next Week!It's been a rough few weeks, but Rachel and Brian will be back next week with a brand new NOPE to bring you some laughter in these dark times.
2020-04-0201 min
NOPEE115: Social Distancing Spectacular!This week, we shut down our terrible government’s bungled response to the coronavirus, hand-washing tutorials, New York’s plastic bag ban, #InternationalWomensDay and bolo ties. Also: we offer to help the Charleston Riverdogs come up with clever yet politically correct promotional events and explore the science behind durian fruit superconductors. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-w...
2020-03-1331 min
NOPEE114: Bernie Sanders Gets Blocked by The Circle!This week we shut down the Democratic debate in South Carolina, the White House’s bungled response to the coronavirus, various data breaches, Apple’s unusual rules about iPhone representation in cinema, and, finally the worst food innovation since sliced bread: sliced mayonnaise. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-week-in-nope SOUNDCLOUD https...
2020-02-2740 min
NOPEE113: Eminem Hoards Vagina Candles!This week we delve into the struggling presidential campaign of “most electable” Joe Biden; the mixed (gift) bag that was the Oscars; dueling vagina candles/incense from Gwyneth Paltrow and Erykah Badu and, finally, the return of Sean Spicer to the White House in an ill-defined and unpaid role. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-we...
2020-02-1338 min
NOPEE112: Dinosaurs Eating Rush Limbaugh! (feat. Suraj Patel)Thank God Dry January is over because Drunk February so far has been even worse. Thankfully, we were joined by Friend of #NOPE Suraj Patel, a beacon of optimism who is running for Congress in NY’s 12th District. We drank Manhattans as we shut down the Iowa caucuses, the inevitable acquittal of Donald Trump and the pissing match between rival billionaires Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos that led to the Amazon HQ2 debacle in Queens. Finally, we analyze the deeper meeting behind “Dinosaurs in Love,” the viral song that was written by a toddler in England. HE...
2020-02-0652 min
NOPEE111: Michael Bloomberg Shakes a Snout!The news this week–or should we say the Knewz?–was a grab bag from hell, a piñata overflowing with excrement, so we decided it was the perfect moment to announce our rebranding. Henceforth, this podcast shall be known just as NOPE. Got it? Anyway, in this episode, we explore the Democratic presidential field in the days leading up to the Iowa caucus and shut down Michael Bloomberg’s unusual meet-and-greet with a dog. Also: teens are dipping their balls in soy sauce and eating cereal out of their friends’ mouths on TikTok; people in China are dining on whole...
2020-01-3036 min
NOPEPSA: Sleep-Deprived Witnesses and Documents!We've been forced to skip this week's episode due to extreme sleep deprivation, since we've been trying to stay up to watch the impeachment trial. We hope you have too. We'll be back next week for more Nope!
2020-01-2400 min
NOPEE110: Lev Parnas Eyes a Tray of Pigs in Blankets!Defying the orders of Yamaha, we are are broadcasting this week from inside a roomy musical instrument case. We shut down the Parnassance, Rachel Brosnahan’s Blanketgate, the disgraceful snubbing of Uncut Gems from the Oscars nominations, Megxit and Brexit. Also: Yuri Geller applies for a job as a spoon-bending British spy; we get to the bottom of an abominable new trend–Fries Boards–with potato expert Riad Bekhit of Potato Parcel; and finally, we participate in a justified schmear campaign against Bill DeBlasio for wantonly boasting about toasting...a whole wheat bagel. Nope! HEAR US ON ITUNES
2020-01-1749 min
NOPEE109: Prince Harry Gets Handsy with Reachy!All is not well! This week, panting with anxiety, we attempt to turn our attention to the brilliant innovations revealed at CES in Las Vegas, like a toilet paper fetching robot and “Reachy,” a droid of unknown purpose that costs $17,000 and looks like a gondolier. Also on the docket: Rachel shares a story about her misadventures in freelancing; Sir Rod Stewart gets slapped with a misdemeanor after trying to break into a private childrens’ party at the Breakers Palm Beach; the Art Basel banana becomes the subject of a legal battle (or is it just part of the art?); AirBnb...
2020-01-0939 min
NOPEE108: Lizzo Juices Pottery Barn!After spending the holidays relaxing and catching up on the Canadian Broadcasting Company’s edit of “Home Alone 2,” we’re back in the studio shutting it down on the very first day of the new decade. We begin with the hyper-local story of a Manhattan socialite who fell through the floor while shopping at Pottery Barn, requiring an emergency manicure at the scene of the accident. Also on the docket: a writer shares the harrowing story of her struggle to fend off her husbands’ sultry-voiced suitors in Gramercy Park; a Missouri church leader tried to pay for sex on Grindr wit...
2020-01-0238 min
NOPEE107: Odd Trump Out! (feat. Jill Kargman)On this historic day in American history, as the House of Representatives found itself in “deep yogurt,” we were joined by Friend of Nope Jill Kargman, creator and star of Bravo’s “Odd Mom Out,” author, radio host, comedian and sorceress. We explored the plight of the Undecideds, those special unicorns who have seen all the evidence yet haven’t determined how they are going to vote on impeachment, as well as Rudy Giuliani’s allegation that the Bidens were somehow involved in murdering the same person twice. Also on the docket: we discuss the best holiday gifts, such as personalize...
2019-12-1944 min
NOPEE106: The Duct-Taped Banana Drowns in Mincemeat!The holidays are approaching and nothing says Christmas like a nine vote working majority, a racy cocaine Santa sweater from Walmart Canada and mincemeat pie made from actual meat! Also on the docket: Brian has boots-on-the-ground reporting about the Art Basel banana; Vox investigates Bronx Colors, the manufacturer of Trump’s orange concealer; the Peloton Husband goes public about his pain, and we puzzle over the media strategy of Boris Johnson, who spent Wednesday hiding in a refrigerator. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST ht...
2019-12-1233 min
NOPEE105: Baby Yoda Spotted at a Jiggle Joint!As Donald Trump fought with our allies in Europe, and Andrew Yang squirted whipped cream directly into his supporters’ mouths, we tried to remain focused on issues that are closer to home, such as the merits of silent haircuts, that terrible Peloton ad and the over-exposure of Baby Yoda. Also on the docket: why we love Hunter Biden. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ S...
2019-12-0533 min
NOPEA Very Nope Thanksgiving!Overwhelmed with Thanksgiving preparations, we decided to pardon ourselves this week from our typical podcasting duties. But we did introduce a new beta program, the #DailyNope, which kicked off with an unusual sunbathing trend–taint tanning. In the spirit of the season, we also offered gratitude to you, our listeners, and Icelandic raincoats. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https://www.s...
2019-11-2806 min
NOPEE103: The Whistleblower Haunts an AirBnb! (feat. Lindsay Goldwert)Strung out from another insane day of impeachment hearings, we sat down with author, comedian and friend of the pod Lindsay Goldwert to get to the bottom of the real issues plaguing the American people: what happened to lounge singer-turned State Department official Mina Chang? Why are 30-50 feral hogs terrorizing Italy? How can it be that the entire state of South Dakota is on meth? Who is paying $1,000 a month for access to a dating app? Also on the docket: there’s more evidence that Rudy Giuliani might not be so great at tech. Finally, we talk to Li...
2019-11-2147 min
NOPEE102: Milli Vanilli Dates a Chicken Parm Bro!While the world was focused on impeachment, it seemed like nobody was really paying attention to the story of Mina Chang, a lounge singer from Dallas who somehow wormed her way into the upper echelons of the State Department. Meanwhile, “dopamine fasting” has overtaken Silicon Valley, where–despite all evidence to the contrary–people are allegedly too happy to function. Northwestern University’s student newspaper apologized for committing acts of journalism. Finally, “chicken parm bros” have seized control of the dating app Hinge. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nop...
2019-11-1442 min
NOPEE101: James Dean Gulps a Gay Iced Coffee!Much like amateur zoologist Brian Fellow, we are very excited and a little bit scared this week. The trial of Roger Stone began in a typical carnival fashion, with profuse sweating, food poisoning and diarrhea. Facebook–oops, we mean FACEBOOK–banned suggestive eggplant and peach emojis. A drunk man in England attempted to have sex with a pile of leaves. Brian went on a digital gay culture walkabout involving iced coffee, chairs and parallel parking. An obscure filmmaker announced he is raising the dead, casting a CGI James Dean as the star of his forthcoming Vietnam action movie. Plus: Rach...
2019-11-0848 min
NOPEE100: Peter Luger Goes into Chipmunk Mode!For our 100th episode, we decided to cut all of the material about Donald Trump, because we just can’t stand it anymore. Instead, we discussed other horrible topics, like Mark Zuckerberg’s Caesar haircut, the advent of Sweetgreen 3.0, the downward spiral of Peter Luger, a disco group that believes it helped the Phlippines avoid a super-typhoon, and, finally, Netflix’s foray into chipmunk mode. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/ OVERCAST https://overcast.fm/itunes1312654524/this-week-in-nope SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.c...
2019-10-3135 min
NOPEE99: Countess Luann Canoodles with a Cabaret Critic!As we enter the mob phase of the Trump presidency, we dig into the inspiring story of Pierre Delecto, the once-secret Internet persona of Mitt Romney. Rachel shares a personal story about how Countess Luann de Lesseps, of “The Real Housewives of New York City,” transformed her into a cabaret critic. We then go from hyperlocal to interstellar, shutting down everything from the chef’s mutiny at Barneys to the frequency of killer-asteroid stories published by The Daily Express. And finally, thanks to J. Smith Cameron of “Succession,” we learned about a French scientist who has developed a creepy skin for i...
2019-10-2438 min
NOPEE98: Kendall Roy Beats Ron Vara Like a Drum! (feat. Lauren Goode)Amid one of the most troubling weeks in recent memory, we were joined by Friend of Nope Lauren Goode, senior writer for WIRED and host of the Gadget Lab podcast, to shut it all down. In a rapidly escalating war of words, hobgoblin Rudy Giuliani–now the subject of an ongoing counterintelligence investigation–called former national security adviser John Bolton an “atomic bomb” in response to Bolton’s assessment that Giuliani is “a hand grenade.” Meanwhile, Joe Biden maintained his steady drumbeat of terrible grandpa jokes, insisting several times this week–including at the lackluster Democratic debate–that he will beat Donald T...
2019-10-181h 02
NOPEE97: Alec Baldwin Nails the Untitled Goose Game!Drowning in news and unable to breathe, we tried to follow “The Bachelor,” only to find out that the new bachelor smashed his face open on multiple cocktail glasses this week while playing golf. Meanwhile, the woman who claimed that meth found inside her vagina belonged to someone else finally admitted that the meth was, as everyone suspected, hers. Speaking of meth, Trump’s appearance and behavior–specifically, dilated pupils and paranoid psychosis–indicate that he may be addicted to Sudafed, a diagnosis supported by a photograph he posted on Twitter a few years ago. In India, a woman found two...
2019-10-1137 min
NOPEE96: Robert De Niro Holds Gwyneth Paltrow’s Blankstrap!We are so overwhelmed by the news that we’ve decided to take a step back and produce “Impeachment: the Movie,” featuring a phalanx of Republican insaniacs and the most eclectic ensemble cast of all time. While the Republicans spew conspiracy theories, the Democrats are looking to the future with real policy proposals. For example, Joe Biden is pitching a tax credit that will benefit 750 million American women. Elsewhere, a fitness instructor was sentenced to five years in prison for harassing bodybuilders on Instagram. An unsuspecting couple in Indiana adopted a six-year-old who was really an adult psychopath. Columbia Univer...
2019-10-0346 min
NOPEE95: Rudy Giuliani Comes Out as Sapiosexual!The creaky gears of justice finally appear to be turning, yet everything is still terrible. We delve into the Trump-Zalensky phone call, troubles at the We Company and the fraud that is ComScore. Also on the docket: a New Jersey couple goes under the knife to correct their RBF; Mark Ronson reveals his sexual orientation (spoiler: he’s attracted to beautiful, smart women); Gucci predicts people will be wearing straitjackets next summer; and Irish Rail has an unusual explanation for their train delays involving a bird. Finally, we have a boots-on-the-ground update from the Isle of Rockall, Britain’s fina...
2019-09-2740 min
NOPEE94: Joe Biden Chokes on a Corn Pop!This week, we learned that Joe Biden’s idea of a sick burn is to call someone “Esther,” as in Esther Williams, the late swimming star of the silver screen, whose heyday was in the 1950s. In Australia, a fire at a farm caused a massive bull semen explosion. The New York Times broke a bombshell story about Brett Kavanaugh, but completely botched the rollout, yet again. Disgraced White House press secretary Sean Spicer made his debut on “Dancing With the Stars” in a pirate shirt on the same day that Netflix announced a deal to stream the “Seinfeld” library. Coinc...
2019-09-1942 min
NOPEE93: Tim Cook Livestreams a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto!National Security Adviser John Bolton became the latest Trump Administration official to be fired via Twitter–or did he resign? We may never know. The new iPhone is finally here and it’s wreaking havoc on those struggling with a rare condition called trypophobia. Fox Searchlight, known for Oscar-bait dramas such as “12 Years a Slave” and “The Descendants,” is now bringing to the silver screen a biopic about Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. A high-school swimmer won the 100-meter race, only to be disqualified because she had a wedgie. A distinguished judge died, and her obituary headline focused on a special moment in her...
2019-09-1240 min
NOPEE92: Boris Johnson Bows to the Dairy Queen!As hurricane Dorian heads to the Carolinas–not Alabama–the idea of storm size has become the new crowd size, which was once the new hand size. Meanwhile, the British government is spiraling out of control and a 73-year-old Irish folk singer is poised to invade a remote British island which is actually a rock. Dairy Queen denied that its hamburgers contain human meat, raising questions about what other types of meat are not in the burgers. Researchers at the Smithsonian identified a new species of leech outside of Washington, DC, and a snake terrorizing people in the Outer Bank...
2019-09-0634 min
NOPEE91: Rihanna Trusses a Fish Turducken!We returned from our summer vacations to find a nation crawling with bedbugs and lusting over a chicken sandwich. Some people were losing their minds over a recipe for a chicken quesadilla fried deep dish pizza. Others stopped bathing for health or productivity reasons (and they promise they don’t smell.) An Australian chef shared a confusing recipe for a fish turducken. Rachel went to a restaurant in Germany featuring hand soap that was inspired by a sausage. Brian went to a restaurant in New York that didn’t serve soup or liver, owing to construction. Hawks were brought in t...
2019-08-2955 min
NOPEE90: Margot Robbie Smuggles an Octopus!It’s the dog days of summer, but for Rachel and Brian, it’s just silly season. In this politics-free episode, a woman hid meth in her vagina and a man hid cocaine in his toupee. Another woman got an octopus stuck on her face and then waited two days before going to the hospital. Men in England are paying big bucks to get wedgies in public and to clean the home of a 68-year-old dominatrix. People in Hollywood are taking out Disgrace Insurance to protect themselves from public shaming, which is measured by the Moral Outcry Index. And just...
2019-08-1729 min
NOPEE89: Mike Pence Battles 30-50 Feral Hogs!It’s the dog days of summer, and we’ve had enough of everything: the “hard seltzer,” paid internships that require abstaining from “frosé,” tasting bacon all day and watching all 20 Marvel movies consecutively, these motherf—-ing snakes on this motherf—-ing plane. Nope to all of it. Also on the docket: we explain why everyone is talking about “30-50 feral hogs” as if they are the new generously buttered noodles. Equinox and SoulCycle are cancelled. We interview friend of the pod Ellen Gamerman about her late pet rats. We also try to understand why Mike Pence is advocating that everybody stay o...
2019-08-0839 min
NOPEE88: Tom Cruise Yodels on a Clown Cruise!After seeing the trailer for “Top Gun: Maverick” last week, we were compelled to watch the original “Top Gun” for the very first time, and we needed some time to process what we saw. Now we’re back, amid one of the worst weeks on record, and ready to do a deep dive into the goings-on of Goose, Maverick, Iceman and, last but not least, Wolfman. Also on the docket: Marianne Williamson stole the show at the Democratic Debates; the New York Times revealed that Jeffrey Epstein planned to freeze his penis and repopulate the earth in his own image (not...
2019-08-0344 min
NOPEPSA: New Nope Summer Schedule!It's summertime and the living is....terrible. So we're grasping for some shreds of sanity by taking it a little easy in August. No new episode this week, and the schedule for August will be irregular, but we'll be back to our usual Thursday morning episodes come Labor Day. Stay cool, stay #NOPE!
2019-07-2601 min
NOPEE87: Danny DeVito Has a Hot Girl Summer! (feat. John Jannuzzi)It’s been a terribly confusing week, but luckily we were joined by a special guest, jack of all trades John Jannuzzi, who helped us clear up and shut down topics like the FaceApp, created by a Russian company that is harvesting our biometrics a year before a presidential election. (Everything’s fine.) Also on the docket: Millennial women are being haunted on Instagram by a Danny DeVito crop top; a reporter caused a stir at Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin’s cryptocurrency press conference by wearing Google Glass; millions of people are getting ready to storm Area 51 by using an ani...
2019-07-1839 min
NOPEE86: Whitney Houston Sends in the Lions!You know it’s a terrible week when you wish there was an earthquake in New York so you’d have a legit excuse to be hiding under the table. We shut down Trump’s Revolutionary War fan-fic Fourth of July speech; an executive who behaves like an in-orbit astronaut in the office; a browser plug-in that allows you to stealthily watch “The Office” while in the office; a woman in Texas who faces 20 years in prison for licking ice cream; British birders who couldn’t distinguish a seagull from an eagle and an island going to extreme measures to keep mice...
2019-07-1136 min
NOPEE85: Betsy Ross Leaks Her DeepNudes!The Fourth of July weekend is upon us and it’s already turning out to be terrible. First we learned that Betsy Ross was not so much a patriotic seamstress as she was a racist plagiarist. And now, We the People, the American taxpayers, are going to be left footing the bill for an obscene MAGA rally, complete with the finest Sherman tanks your 1957 dollars can buy. And I’ll tell you what we will not be doing. We will not be making PBS.org’s recipe for a red white and blue potato salad, which combines an unholy trinit...
2019-07-0434 min
NOPEE84: Hickenlooper-Buttigieg 2020! (feat. Lauren Mechling)We emerge from a hallway of horrors this week to shut it down with novelist and friend of the pod Lauren Mechling. If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why do there need to be five moderators for the Democratic debates?” you’ve come to the right place. Other questions we seek to answer this week: Are people really growing horns on the backs of their heads? Why are we living in an age that can only be described as “anti-corrodic”? How do you tell time in Sommaroy, Norway? What is the appropriate attire for a mother-in-law at a wedding (hint: not a...
2019-06-2751 min
NOPEE83: Dog Spectacular! Jerry Falwell Jr. Officiates a Canine Wedding!It’s been a terrible week, but only one of us was paying attention. Rachel hasn’t slept since she decided to adopt a St. Berdoodle puppy on Sunday–unfortunately one day too late to enter the Miss Dog Mom USA pageant in Brooklyn. Meanwhile, Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife Becky are embroiled in a possible love triangle with a Miami pool boy; Lenny Dykstra spent nine hours in a New Jersey dumpster looking for his teeth; an Alabama man sicced a meth-addicted attack squirrel on the police; and an entrepreneur has sold over a million stun guns for fl...
2019-06-2043 min
NOPEE82: Meryl Streep Vibrates on a Higher Frequency!After recovering from a fugue state, we shut down everything this week from Chernobyl to Twizzlers. Our finest living patron of the arts, Seth Fradkoff, shares a distressing story about getting kicked out of “Tootsie: The Musical” on Broadway for taking a stand against loud snacks. Also on the docket: Manhattan prosecutor-turned-novelist Linda Fairstein attempted to un-cancel herself via op-ed; a British woman revealed that she paid her way through college by naming nearly 700,000 Chinese babies; another woman in Cincinnati quit her job to eat crab legs on YouTube; and comedian/actress/writer Jenny Slate agreed to deliver a high...
2019-06-1342 min
NOPEE81: Tracy Morgan Mixes a Rat Cocktail!Much like a celebrity driving a brand-new Bugatti through Midtown Manhattan, this week we dealt with the consequences of terrible, yet predictable, situations. Following a flight to London, Brian got swept up in a delegation from Mauritius before being forced to surrender to the Heathrow airport authorities as an unregistered foreign agent. Meanwhile, Rachel was on her couch in New York contending with a Twitter pile-on for insulting the appearance and demeanor of Kimberly Guilfoyle. We conclude that we’ve hit peak pop-up in San Francisco, as a bar for humans and rats to intermingle is debuting with a $50 co...
2019-06-0644 min
NOPEE80: Mandy Moore Inhales Molecules of Freedom!For our second-ever transatlantic broadcast, Brian was holed up in a bar in the north of England and Rachel was home in New York City--and if we had had confidence that this week was not an abomination, we would have said so. To that end, we shut down Robert Mueller’s cryptically worded press conference; anarchy on Mt. Everest and an Antipodean uproar over a podcast called “The Sydney Gays.” Also on the docket: one government official compared Jews to carbon dioxide and another government official compared American soldiers to natural gas; Moby feuded with Natalie Portman over whether they d...
2019-05-3043 min
NOPEE79: Donald Trump Wargs Into a Bathroom Monster!Our attempts to warg our troubles away were interrupted by an impromptu Donald Trump speech, in which the Victim-In-Chief announced that he was going on strike until the Democrats cease all of their investigations into his rampant misconduct. To which we say, Nope! Meanwhile, Mayor Bill de Blasio entered the Democratic 2020 field with a cringeworthy (and possibly illegal) video shot inside his taxpayer-funded luxury SUV; Kris Kobach sent a list of demands to the White House, including the requirement for a private jet, to fulfill his Peter Principle-sanctioned destiny; and Steve Mnuchin’s 85-year-old dad used a flip phone to...
2019-05-2344 min
NOPEE78: Daenerys Stages a #SexStrike!It’s been one of the most devastating weeks on record, as misogynist troglodytes in statehouses across the country mount an assault on women’s constitutional rights. But we’re back to fight another day and shut down misguided attempts to raise awareness, such as the #sexstrike endorsed by TV’s Alyssa Milano. Also on the docket: a used-car heiress staged a fake wedding because her hairstylist husband wouldn’t sign a prenup; our finest living vloggers, Tati and James Charles, end their friendship over gummy vitamins; Seth Rogen’s father builds a tower of Babel with unholy ingredients; Kacey Musgra...
2019-05-1642 min
NOPEE77: Nope Live in San Francisco! (feat. Elizabeth Holmes)Despite the Uber/Lyft strike and a Louis Vuitton fashion show taking over JFK Airport, we finally made it to San Francisco to perform live at Betabrand’s fabulous Podcast Theatre! It was a week chock full of disgraceful topics to shut down. There was, of course, Donald Trump’s tax returns, a scandal at the Kentucky Derby, involving horses, and at the London Marathon, involving nurses. Also: Sonic the Hedgehog's unrealistic teeth caused a stir on the Internet, Burger King unleashed unhappy meals on an already unhappy public, and a Taiwanese man went to extreme lengths to find a mi...
2019-05-1153 min
NOPEE76: Arya Stark Gets All Snitty!All week long, we cowered in an underground nook like Sansa Stark and Tyrion Lannister, emerging only to watch Bill Barr to run roughshod over the rule of law. Meanwhile, Barbara Corcoran threw herself a funeral, a Belgian water company created dinnerware to shame people who attempt to Instagram their food, a Taiwanese company is selling bib hammocks for Instagram aversion therapy, and people are renting parking spots in San Francisco because they can’t afford coworking spaces. Also on the docket: the backstory on Russian spy whales, military dolphins and drug dealer parrots; Spotify playlists that go too fa...
2019-05-0244 min
NOPEE75: Elizabeth Warren Boasts: I'm Baby! (feat. co-host Glace Chase)We thought it couldn't get worse than the fallout from the Mueller Report...but did we ever think Rachel would be airdropping Mueller dick-pics to hot guys in hotel lobbies? Plus: Presidential candidates recapping Game of Thrones, backwards Tom Ford dresses, GoDaddy violence, incoherent baby memes, and the revival of OK Cupid. Listen, subscribe, rate, review, and enjoy the terrible week that was.
2019-04-2542 min
NOPEE74: Beyonce Audits Her Mashed PotatoesIt’s been a terrible week. Things are only going to get worse when we see the Mueller report--with a rainbow of redactions--followed by the Giuliani “counter-report” that is either 150 pages, 79 pages or 35 pages long depending on the day or whom you ask. Meanwhile, a group of leading food companies have put mashed potatoes on the blockchain. Figs have revealed themselves to be homicidal maniacs. And just in time for prom, a Texas retailer is combining flowers and bread for a meme-inspired “crossaint corsage.” Also on the docket: Pepsi is partnering with a Russian satellite firm to advertise an energy dri...
2019-04-1833 min
NOPEE73: George Washington Extracts an Undercorn!It’s been a terrible week, but at least we can finally see the black hole that is pulling us into space. Here on earth, a global fungus has hospitals in a panic; a woman in Taiwan has a family of bees living inside of her eye; Silicon Valley struggles with “undercorns”; and Chinese sperm banks are implementing “sperm-extraction machines” with custom sounds, visuals and even smells. Also on the docket: Rachel spends $100 in pursuit of an elusive postage stamp, Brian subscribes to a scandal-ridden wine club that is partially owned by Congressman Devin Nunes, and Twitter’s CEO shares his “...
2019-04-1134 min
NOPEE72: Joe Biden Nuzzles Panty Pockets!April is the cruelest month, especially when Google, Amtrak, Elon Musk and James Comey dabble in comedy. And if April Fool’s Day wasn’t terrible enough, there were the unfortunately timed new products like $315 Janties--yes, jean panties--and Cadbury Creme Egg Mayonnaise that you think are pranks, but are actually real things. We also shut down voice deepening coaches, prison coaches (for parents who hired a corrupt college admissions coach) and a new sushi restaurant in Tokyo that requires a stool sample prior to dining there. To round it out, we explore the feud between Jim Carrey and Benito Muss...
2019-04-0446 min
NOPEE71: Theresa May Moisturizes with Tarantula Mayonnaise!It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times. Our hopes were dashed by Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s sudden bout of indecisiveness on the issue of obstruction. And in what can only be described as a Nope Turducken, the lawyer who defended Michael Jackson co-conspired with the lawyer who represented Stormy Daniels to try to extort money from Nike, Inc., the client of the law firm representing Theranos and Harvey Weinstein. Also on the docket: Yuri Geller tries to reverse Brexit via telepathy; Marmite Peanut Butter and Heinz Beanz Pizza wreak havoc on the UK cu...
2019-03-2841 min
NOPEE70: Elizabeth Holmes Quaffs a Garfuccino! (feat. Andrew Goldman)Just in time for spring, we managed to crawl out from underneath our weighted blankets to make sense of this horrible week. Together with Andrew Goldman, journalist and host of the podcast “The Originals,” we shut down the emerging sauce crisis on college campuses, the mysterious appeal of Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes and Kellyanne Conway’s "husband from hell.” Also on the docket: a Garfield-themed restaurant from Dubai is coming to Toronto; Julianne Moore won’t cut off her (prosthetic) nose to spite her face; astronauts get space herpes; and the U.S. Marshals office hosts an auction of two boxes...
2019-03-2146 min
NOPEE69: Felicity Huffman Hatches a Mouse Mastodon!Like a Netflix crossover special of Full House, Desperate Housewives and Orange is the New Black, the college-cheating scandal known as Operation Varsity Blues captivated and revolted us in equal measure. We are a nation of grifters and there’s no turning back! Other terrible things we shut down this week: two dead people struggle to sell a house in the Hamptons that they designed to either prolong your life or end it; scientists are resurrecting the wooly mammoth and creating hybrid chicken dinosaurs; pineapples are a wedge issue on Fox News; Lacroix blames a quarterly earnings miss on “inju...
2019-03-1450 min
NOPEE68: Michael Calamari Cheeses a Verminfluencer! (feat. Taylor Lorenz)We are in desperate need of therapy. Thankfully, we were joined by Taylor Lorenz, staff writer for the Atlantic and human embodiment of the Internet, to help us unpack the horrible things that happened this week. Notably, people are monetizing their fetuses, lining up to take a selfie with an opossum, freaking out about a paper mâché sculpture called Momo, and filming themselves while hurling American cheese at their babies’ faces. Meanwhile, here in New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio committed the cardinal sin of posting a selfie with the Boston Red Sox and then earned the ire...
2019-03-0744 min
NOPEE67: Rami Malek Eats Salad With a Comb!As if trapped in the Netflix series “Russian Doll,” we keep dying and waking up in the bathroom. Recording this episode right after Michael Cohen’s congressional testimony, our heads were spinning. We nevertheless attempted to process what we saw, including the wild outburst from Congressman Chip Roy, Matt Gaetz’s thuggish Tweet and Michael Cohen’s emerging expertise in the field of ethics. Meanwhile, Trump was in Vietnam for his second summit with murderous dictator Kim Jong Un, who traveled through the Chinese countryside by train out of spite because his 40-year-old Russian aircraft is unfit for use and he did...
2019-02-2845 min
NOPEE66: Tucker Carlson Noshes on Filth Flies!This week, Amazon’s much-ballyhooed New York City HQ2 was returned to sender faster than a Prime delivery. Meanwhile, a beige national emergency reared its MAGA-hat wearing head at Mar-a-Lago’s omelette bar. Also: Roger Stone got the smackdown from Judge Amy Berman Jackson for posting a wildly ill-conceived Instagram photo; Buzzfeed published an exposé of Blippi, a kid-friendly YouTube star with a shockingly NSFW past; an Israeli couple was fined for sending a string of emojis, including a squirrel and a comet; Tucker Carlson was dog-walked by a Dutch historian; Twitter freaked out over towels; and the Grand Canyo...
2019-02-2242 min
NOPEE65: Lady Gaga Harnesses Her Ribcage! (feat. Christina Binkley)It’s New York Fashion Week and it’s not just the cold weather that is keeping us from experimenting with the hottest trend at the Grammys (hint: it’s an exposed ribcage). Joined by author and fashion journalist Christina Binkley, we shut down blackface turtlenecks, mock turtlenecks, Adam’s apple turtlenecks, harnesses on the red carpet, breast pumps as a fashion statement, and a boots-on-the-ground report about how Michael Cohen is spending his last days as a free man. Also on the docket: the two disparate theories explaining what’s behind the Jeff Bezos extortion attempt; Tinder for cows; Star...
2019-02-1450 min
NOPEE64: Ashton Kutcher Gives Roger Stone a Manicure! (feat. Glace Chase)There’s no good time to be incapacitated, but that’s what happened this week, and we’re still struggling to keep up with all the horrors. But with the help of our special guest, comedienne/playwright Glace Chase, we managed to shut down the substance, structure and guests of the State of the Union speech; a wild ATM incident in China; a man in the Netherlands embroiled in a legal battle to officially change his age; and, of course, the scandal in the Virginia legislature that combines three elements we thought we’d never see together: blackface, #metoo and the...
2019-02-0845 min
NOPEE63: Mary Poppins Escapes from DannemoraThis week we find ourselves trapped in an upstate New York penitentiary of our own making. We shut down Trump’s continued insistence that he’s more intelligent than his intelligence agencies; Howard Schultz’s ill-conceived flirtation with an independent presidential run; and Gwyneth Paltrow’s violent run-in with an optometrist on the slopes of Park City. Also: technology continues to be terrible! Facebook engages in “friendly fraud” by taking money from children and gets the smackdown from Apple after running afoul of the company’s enterprise development rules. Meanwhile, a teenager in Arizona discovers a security flaw in iOS’s FaceTime...
2019-01-3139 min
NOPEE62: Freddie Mercury Slurps Generously Buttered Noodles!It’s one of the most horrible weeks in recent memory, and we return to a nation engulfed in carnage, both human and animal. We shut down Tales from the Grift, starring former Trump fixer and aspiring sex symbol Michael Cohen; explore how the Academy has taken everything bad about the Oscars and made it worse; discuss a Swedish movie shown inside a sarcophagus; and participate in a dramatic reading of text-message correspondence between our finest living artists, Azealia Banks and Grimes. Also: a “dark web” themed fashion show featuring zebras and giraffes raises eyebrows at Paris couture week; an Upp...
2019-01-2442 min
NOPEE61: NOPE LIVE! Rachel & Brian Humiliate Themselves in Front of Superfans!What happens when you put 30 Nope superfans in a room with a cheese influencer and our finest living text-message dramaturgist? Your terrible week suddenly gets better! As the longest government shutdown in our nation’s history dragged on, we managed to execute our first-ever live show, in which we collectively shut down Trump’s hamburger inflation, Javanka’s “Vice” walkout, and explored how the hijacking of Brian’s Spotify account led him to develop a passion for Christian rock and Shen Yun dance performances. We also vomit over dueling Fyre Festival documentaries, the timing and content of WeWork’s rebranding, an...
2019-01-1851 min
NOPEE60: Kevin Hart Has a Blended Orgasm at CES!The best thing about a cleanse is ending the cleanse--and thankfully our Trump cleanse is over. This week, Rachel reveals how the Trump administration is blocking her efforts to gain German citizenship, and we explore the technological ineptitude of Paul Manafort’s legal team and Leonardo da Vinci’s unexpected involvement in the Mueller probe. Meanwhile, the New Year’s resolution crowd is wreaking havoc at Chopt and undermining the spirit of eating salads. Also: people are blindfolding themselves for the #BirdboxChallenge and staging confusing gummy bear concerts for the #HariboChallenge; Wikifeet gets to the bottom of an AOC podiat...
2019-01-1045 min
NOPEE59: Chrissy Teigen Marries a Hologram!2019 is here and it’s already off to an abysmal start, as the major TV networks featured an anti-vaxxer and a vaginal steamer on their New Year’s Eve specials and a high-profile New York “Illuminati” party offered guests the opportunity to sip breast milk from a baby bottle. Also: a New York Times op-ed advocated abandoning smartphones in favor of sex; a Japanese school administrator married an anime hologram; a bodybuilder in England tattooed his nether regions using--what else?--a rolling pin; Kerrygold butter expanded into the music business; the TSA announced it is phasing out pointy-eared bomb-sniffing dogs; NA...
2019-01-0341 min
NOPEE58: 2018 - The Year in Nope!It was our first full year of podcasting, and what a year it was. As we recover from the latest romaine lettuce panic and sip ersatz Lacroix with “cloudberries” because we cannot have nice things, we explore the lowlights of 2018 grouped into the topics for which we are best known: insaniacs, salad, innovation, politics (minus Individual-1) animals, and the world of fashion. We reopen the case of the Canadian salesman who tried to chill pepperoni by opening a window and inadvertently let 40 vomiting seagulls into his hotel room; pay tribute to the man who attempted to distribute cheeseburgers to the...
2018-12-281h 06
NOPEE57: Lil Jon Weaves a Hair Amulet! Plus Holiday Gift Guide feat. Lauren GoodeOne step forward, two steps back. The Holland Tunnel’s holiday décor debacle was fixed following a public outcry, yet we find ourselves reckoning this week with even more horrors, such as Russian Nest hackers, robots gone wild and the shocking revelation that Azealia Banks is the tech world’s Zelig, last seen hiding in Elon Musk’s house after fashioning an amulet out of Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey’s beard hairs. Joined by WIRED senior writer Lauren Goode, we shut down the most horrible gifts of the season, including but not limited to burrito scented candles, a push-up s...
2018-12-2049 min
NOPEE56: Poopsie Splatters The "Holland Tonnel"!Emerging from glamorous Art Basel, where we rubbed shoulders with everyone from former Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon to grifting Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, we’re really struggling this week to acclimate to New York's rat and diarrhea-infested subway. In addition to demystifying Miami, on this week’s episode we shut down the hottest toy of the season, Poopsie, and explore the dystopian panopticon overseen by an Elf on the Shelf. Also: the Holland Tunnel struggles with a violent backlash to its holiday decorations; men embrace penis contouring; frenemies are orbiting and employees are ghosting. We respond to an #AskNo...
2018-12-1435 min
NOPEE55: Ed Sheeran Flips a Fiery Bicycle!It’s the most horrible time of the year, and in the spirit of radical self-care, we are instituting a new policy: Trump-Free December. There are enough awful things to deal with, like Rachel getting urinated on at 3am, Brian’s dad's wifi woes, upside down hamburgers, declining French fry portion sizes, a crisis in the canned tuna world, the cryptocurrency cruise from hell, mutiny at a sex robot convention and forced hugging at Ted Baker HQ. We are also introducing a new segment called #AskNope, where we weigh in on your most challenging business/life quandaries. Email us a...
2018-12-0632 min
NOPEE54: Bradley Cooper Reveals His Tiny Turtle! (feat. Bevy Smith)We’re recording live from the 10013 zip code, recently declared the tiny-turtle complaint capital of New York City. With the help of media maven Bevy Smith, we shut down “grabbers" at the border, John Bolton’s language barrier, a gender reveal explosion in Arizona, Moroccan cannibals and the dystopian gamification of behavior in China. Also: Bevy weighs in on the biggest pop culture controversies of the week, including Melania’s Christmas decorations, that Lena Dunham profile in New York Magazine and the rumored Harry-William rift. HEAR US ON ITUNEShttps...
2018-11-2939 min
NOPEE52: Jeff Bezos Cooks a Turkey in His Mouth!It’s our one-year Nope-aversary and the ceiling can’t hold us. We’re traversed a wormhole back to the year 2000 and we’re reliving election trauma while trying on clever hat disguises in an effort to commit voter fraud. Meanwhile, Trump is in full FML mode, holed up in a Fox News cave while Roger Stone and his minions brace themselves for their forthcoming (fingers crossed) indictments. Amazon lands it’s HQ2 a stone’s throw from Rachel’s condo, sending real estate agents into a feeding frenzy. Just in time for Thanksgiving, we explore a brand-new utensil-disrup...
2018-11-1535 min
NOPEE51: Jim Acosta Accosts a Garbage Panda!A day late and a Euro short, here we are with our first-ever trans-Atlantic #Nope, recorded in Duck, North Carolina and Lisbon, Portugal. In a week that was reminiscent of a Hieronymus Bosch etching, we vomit over the White House’s decision to release a doctored propaganda video from Infowars to back up the lie that CNN’s Jim Acosta assaulted an intern (he didn’t). We also question the wisdom of Nevada’s selection of a Republican corpse for their state assembly. Rachel reports live from Web Summit, describing the imminent disruption of the popcorn-industrial-complex. Also on the dock...
2018-11-0940 min
NOPEE48: Chris Evans Straps On James Bond's Papoose! (feat. Aaron Wolf and Mike Culyba)We took a 23andMe test this week and discovered that not only are we related, but we’re more Cherokee than Elizabeth Warren! Together with documentary filmmakers Aaron Wolf and Michael Culyba, we shut down the worst news in what was a horrible week, including Facebook’s bizarre new political ads policy; the untimely death of a Republican pimp-turned-Nevada-State-Assembly-candidate; the New York Times real estate section burying the lede on Vag-china; Allbirds’ unicorn status; the haunted subways of New York; the shaming of 007’s papoose; and the emergence of Lindsey Buckingham from his sleeper cell.
2018-10-1844 min
NOPEE46: Lindsey Graham Unfurls the Snake Within!This week, we took a break from liftin’ weights at Tobin’s with our pal Squi to dissect Lindsay Graham’s attempt to win a Tony Award (and perhaps a VP slot on the Trump 2020 ticket) in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. We also shut down another insane Lindsay--La Lohan--getting punched in the face after posing as an Arab man; a vomiting cannibal snake in India; Scrabble’s perplexing new additions to its dictionary; the first-ever robot brothel in Houston; Silicon Valley moguls’ ill-conceived Kiwi escape plan; and finally there’s Brexfit, the Brexit-inspired workout craze sweeping the UK. HEAR US ON I...
2018-10-0433 min
NOPEE45: Adam Driver Tangles with a Fright Fest Freak!Following the latest Kavanaugh revelations, we take a break from throwing up and realize we’ve been inadvertently embracing the Ikigai lifestyle. We also explore the drug habits of marine life; a shameful Bavarian all-you-can-eat sushi joint; a Halloween coffin competition in St. Louis; a spider sex party in Greece, and ultimately we lament the lost art of goat herding. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/id1312654524?mt=2 SPOTIFY https://open.spotify.com/show/07WFZhd5bgY1l1BspArfRJ STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-week-in-nope BUZZSPROUT http://www.buzzsprout.com/208569 SOUNDCLOUD https://soundcloud.com/user-518735966/tr...
2018-09-2734 min
NOPEE44: Brett Kavanaugh Wears a Wankband!Everything is terrible! Not even glamorous red carpet photos could distract us in a week where the glorious Angela Basset was mistaken at the Emmys for...Omarosa. In this episode, the cousins recount their harrowing visit to a drug store hall of mirrors pop-up; GOP Senators prepare to use female staffers as human shields; Hurricane Florence brings wetness and flying killer snakes to the Carolinas; a spider haunts an anonymous woman in Ipswich; Instagram influencers shriek about a restaurant; Stormy Daniels uncovers evidence that Donald Trump is related to the abominable snowman; and, finally, we discover the world’s first pe...
2018-09-2035 min
NOPEE42: Bob Woodward Performs a Riverdance!We find ourselves trapped inside a zoo without walls, caught between a seal, a rat and a smoked watermelon ham. This week, the ‘90s have been reasserting themselves in some unsettling ways, with the sudden return to the cultural spotlight of Geoffrey Owens (aka Alvin from “The Cosby Show”), one-hit-wonder Vanilla Ice, and the Lord of the Dance himself, Michael Flatley. Also: universities explore the canon of e-sports and force students and teachers to cohabitate in a perverse new incarnation of AirBnb. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/id1312654524?mt=2 STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcas...
2018-09-0538 min
NOPEE38: Alex Jones Wears a Chicken Diaper! (feat. Lauren Goode)We’re back on our regular schedule with a special guest, WIRED Senior Writer, Lauren Goode. We all endured a horrible week in which YouPorn finally decided to ban lunatic Alex Jones, and Lauren spun around on a 3D scanner like a cat on a Roomba. We also shut down the Green Party candidate from outer space, voting on the blockchain, Magic Leap, luxury chicken diapers and the Oscars’ desperate attempt to boost ratings. HEAR US ON ITUNES https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-nope/id1312654524?mt=2 STITCHER https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/this-week-in-nope SOUNDCLOUD https://soundcloud.com/user-518735966/tracks OVER...
2018-08-0746 min