Shows
CODE 3 FAMILIESWhy you should fit in time without the kids- E54Why does it always seem so hard to take time away from the kids in this life? If it's not your feelings of guilt, or the schedule, it's childcare challenges. In this episode Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss the recent ways they have been able to navigate taking time away from the kids and the challenges that have come up. 2022-07-0441 minCODE 3 FAMILIESI See the Impacts of the Career on Our Family- E53It's in the daily ins and outs that we notice the little ways the career impacts our lives, good and bad. The way our kids play, the conversations we have at home, and the way we schedule our lives. Here's a couple of stories from Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) on how the career has had impacts on their lives recently and reflections on how first responders can support their families in their adjustment. 2022-03-0741 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy Don't I Enjoy Being with My Kids More?- E52Having kids you always hear from others, "Enjoy it! It goes by so fast!" and "You'r so lucky to get so much time home with your kids!" So why does it feel so hard to enjoy on some days? And why do the days feel so long!? In this episode Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) talk about personal experiences with their own kids and some of the most challenging parts of their days. 2022-02-2144 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy Do I Feel Invisible As A Spouse?- E51As a first Responder spouse we have to manage a lot from the schedule conflicts, sacrificed time together, unpredictable events and emotions, and so much more. Why is it that it often feels as though our challenging role is not seen? Do you ever feel like your sacrifice is invisible at times? In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss the chaos of home life and reflect on that invisibility spouses often feel. 2022-02-011h 00CODE 3 FAMILIESHow Hard it Can be to Get Away Just the Two of You- E50In the first responder family life, scheduling can be such a challenge. It's hard to find time to do every day things not to mention time away together for your marriage. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss how they find the time with their spouse and challenges that always seem to get in the way. 2021-11-2950 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy Our Days Without Them Are Also Impacted By The Job- E49It's never out of sight out of mind over here in first responder marriages. Even when they are gone the plans we make with family, friends, and even the meals we prepare, seem to all have to take their schedule into consideration. We keep them at the front of our minds. This is sweet! Until t turns into feelings of rejection, or hurt, or resentment. Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss the simple things spouses do in their everyday lives that can have big impacts on their feelings and relationships. 2021-11-1353 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy is My First Responder Getting Hit So Hard Right Now?- E48Too many spouses are feeling the extra weight of the first responder profession right now and feeling alone with it. If you're feeling exhausted by the constant mandatory overtimes and new demands of the department... you're not alone. Listen in as Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss all that's gong on for so many first responder families right now and know that you're not alone. First responders are getting hit hard and that means we as a family FEEL it. 2021-10-2652 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy Life Shouldn't Stop Just Because They Are At Work- E47As a First Responder spouse we often go in and out of survival mode depending on whether we are single parenting or co-parenting. This may cause us to actually adopt two different parenting styles or ways to run the household. It can often feel like our life pauses a moment and then they return and we're back. The transition in and out of this is a challenge for the whole family. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) do some deep reflecting on all the challenges this may pose for first responder families and h...2021-10-1252 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhat Does It Mean To Be A "Good" First Responder Spouse? -E46As a first responder spouse you may or may not feel pressure to be "one of the good ones." What does that actually mean? Or what should it mean? Have you ever felt the need to hold in your own emotions about how things are going simply because you know how emotionally taxing their career is? In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss the potential experiences spouses may have around these topics and what that might look like in a marriage. Added bonus, Dr. Rachelle discusses her "marriage contact." 2021-09-2049 minCODE 3 FAMILIESCommitting To What Your "Shift" Looks Like As A First Responder Spouse- E45When you are the spouse of a first responder you take on a lot of additional responsibilities at home. It can be hard to accept this reality since it wasn't your career choice. However, it can be very helpful to mentally commit to your own "shift" in order to survive. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss committing to the "shift," why it is not helpful to compare who's "shift" is more challenging between you and your first responder, and why this topic may come up in the first place. 2021-09-0646 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy It's Still Hard To Be A Spouse... Even Though You "Knew What To Expect" -E44Has your first responder ever said, "You knew this was part of the job..." as though this shouldn't be an issue. And maybe you did... so why is it that you are still having a hard time with the challenges that arise? Because it's HARD!! Just because you may have known what was in store for your future with your first responder's job, does not make the challenges more manageable. In this episode Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss some of the reasons why "knowing" what's in store does not change how well you adjust...2021-08-3043 minCODE 3 FAMILIESThe Role You Play in Your Child’s Anxiety- E43We have said it before, first responder kids are more likely to be anxious and worried. The career and you as parents, may play a role in this. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss a framework of anxiety in kids that specifically addresses your role as the parent. They go over what you may be doing based on the first responder career demands and what you can do differently to help your kids better manage their worries. 2021-08-2353 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhat Is Your First Responder Thinking When You Text About The Chaos At Home?- E42Like most first responder spouses you might be guilty of sending those long texts about all the chaos that is happening at home while they are on shift. How the tree fell over, the dog went crazy, the kids are out of control... and the list goes on. Do you know what your first responder is thinking when you text that? Do the two of you discuss the most helpful way to respond to one another about that stuff so you feel less alone with it? In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife...2021-08-0246 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhat Are Your Boundaries Around Scanners and Pulse Point?- E41First Responder families are usually pretty familiar with the the apps that can be used for 24 hour access to 911 calls associated with the department your first responder spouse works for. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss boundaries around these and the many uses, and misuses, that can come from using scanners and pulse point at home. 2021-07-1943 minCODE 3 FAMILIESHow Parenting Styles In First Responder Homes Impact Our Kids- E40How would your spouse describe your parenting style? It can be common to hear that first responders have a "short fuse" when it comes to addressing their children. I've also heard of first responders feeling their spouse is too lenient with the kids and feel negative behaviors from their children are the result of that. Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss what research tells us about parenting styles, how they impact your kids, and how these can commonly show up in first responder homes. 2021-07-1146 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhat First Responder Spouses With Young Families Need to Hear- E39Household and family responsibilities multiply when you have kids. Unfortunately, as a first responder spouse, a lot of these responsibilities can fall on you when your partner works long shifts, odd hours, and is mandatoried in to work for even more hours. When your kids are little this can feel extremely overwhelming and lonely. Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss some of their young families' recent challenges and the knowledge they have taken from spouses that have survived it all. 2021-07-0531 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy You Should Share The Household Responsibilities With Your First Responder- E38Going from single parenting to double parenting has its challenges. As the non first responder spouse you can find yourself handing less and less things off since household responsibilities often default to you. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss how they split responsibilities with their spouses even when they are home and can be helping... and reassure you that changing it up will NOT ruin your kids. 2021-06-2854 minCODE 3 FAMILIESDo We Resent The First Responder Career Or Something Else?- E37In this Episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) catch up on the chaos of recent vacations with new families of 4 as well as reflect on challenges of the first responder family and whether or not they resent the career or all the ways life could be more simple. 2021-06-2248 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhat Are Your First Responder's Boundaries on Bringing Work Home?- E36The first responder career can really be all consuming. Everything going on at work is an emergency calling for the first responder’s attention. It can consume their identity, the stories they tell, and the lens they hold. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss some thoughts around boundary setting at home when it comes to things like emails and stories from work. 2021-06-0751 minCODE 3 FAMILIESAll The Things We Hold On To As A First Responder Spouse... Beyond Half Of Their Pension- E35Referring to their pension is of course a joke we couldn't resist... but REALLY as a first responder spouse we find ourselves carrying so much! We hold so many things regarding family schedules and planning as well as emotionally worrying about the dangers our spouses face daily. We often don't even say these things out loud, we just recharge and move forward. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss what a particularly hard week it has been for both of them managing the family while their husband's have been at work and reflect...2021-05-2456 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy First Responder Families DO NOT Live a Normal Life- E34It's true that when you're living in the first responder life it becomes your "normal," but it's important to take a step back sometimes to recognize a lot of what we adjust to is NOT normal or a part of the average experience. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss some of the real challenges they adjust to as a first responder spouse and that they watch their children adjust to that can too easily be seen as normal. 2021-05-1758 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy You Should Actually Plan For Your Needs and Fire Season- E33As a first responder spouse we are often left to plan for everything and everyone else, but setting goals and being intentional about what you need and want is so important. This can be especially true when it comes to preparing for the challenges that come along with Fire Season. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Alma (Police Wife) share personal stories around their own successes and challenges with meeting fitness goals. They also discuss how you can be intentional and plan for success with the upcoming fire season. 2021-05-1046 minCODE 3 FAMILIESWhy Taking Care Of Your Own Needs Will Make You A More Supportive First Responder Spouse- E32As a First Responder spouse you have so many other people and needs to take care of ALL THE TIME. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss some of their own experiences taking care of ALL the THINGS... and how they are able to just that without feeling resentful. SPOILER: It includes taking care of YOU too! 2021-05-041h 02CODE 3 FAMILIESThe Experience Of A Police Spouse In Current Times- E31Tensions and judgements about policing continue to increase. People are posting about their opinions on the matter all around us... but where does that leave our proud police families? In this Episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss the challenges that police families are facing navigating this all and how hard it can actually be to avoid taking the comments personally.2021-04-2656 minCODE 3 FAMILIESHow We Take On Our First Responder's Fears From The Job- E30First Responders are called to show up on people's worst day. They see the many daily tragedies and nightmares people experience and it's hard not to want to protect their own family from those. In this episode Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) talk about how they naturally start to take on the fears that their husbands bring home from the job and just how easily that can happen for a spouse and family member. 2021-04-1955 minCODE 3 FAMILIESRachelle's HeroTalk Interview with Rodger Ruge, Ret. LEO- E29This week we want to share Rachelle's interview with Rodger Ruge, retired law enforcement officer. This was originally featured on his podcast "HeroTalk" which is a podcast aimed at building resilience in first responders. We recommend you check out the episode and share with your first responder spouse. We also recommend you go check out HeroTalk for some more information on first responder resilience and PTSD. 2021-04-121h 13CODE 3 FAMILIESHow To Build A Relationship With Your First Responder Teen- E28Parenting a teen is a challenge! In this episode Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss the challenges in parenting teens that are growing up in first responder households and give you some ideas on how to best connect with them. 2021-04-051h 02CODE 3 FAMILIESHow You Can Support Your First Responder When Things Don’t Go Their Way- E27The career is often more like a calling than a job to them which is why a first responder’s identity can be all wrapped up in the work they do. This can make it especially hard for them when things don’t go their way... a failed academy, passed up for promotion, a failed test, a mistake on the job. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Dr. Alma (Police Wife) discuss the challenges that come in devastating moments like these and how the spouse can offer support during these times. 2021-03-2943 minCODE 3 FAMILIESHow A First Responder Spouse Can Feel Alone And What You Can Do- E26As a first responder spouse you can feel alone... often. Not just physically due to the shift, but things can feel emotionally lonely as well. In this episode Rachelle (Fire Wife) and Alma (Police Wife) discuss the many ways spouses experience loneliness and what you can do with that. 2021-03-221h 05CODE 3 FAMILIESWhy a First Responder Spouse Can Feel Under Appreciated- E25First Responders spouses wear so many hats! They very often have to be the protecter, disciplinarian, the nurturer, the schedule manager, the flexible spouse, and the foundation that the rest of the family relies upon... all at once and without a handbook. When all of that is overlooked because it's what everyday looks like that can start to wear on motivation to do it all. In this episode, Dr. Rachelle (Fire Spouse) and Dr. Alma (Police Spouse) discuss the experience of a first responder spouse and how some dynamics might lead to stressors on our marriages and spouses feeling u...2021-03-1551 min