Shows
Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 6 Episode 5: Coercive Control and Children 2025: Conference Insights from MelbourneSend us a textDavid Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel share highlights from the 2025 Safe & Together Asia Pacific Coercive Control and Children's Conference in Melbourne, Australia. Listen in as they reflect on key moments and the impact of bringing together over 400 practitioners from across the region. Here are some of the highlights: • Commitment to equity through a hybrid format that allowed participation from remote locations despite the technical and financial challenges• First-ever family law track showcasing four years of work with the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia• Launch of e-learning resources for ind...2025-04-0929 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 6 Episode 4: The Paradox of Proximity: Understanding Domestic Abuse in Rural and Remote CommunitiesSend us a textIn this episode, David and Ruth speak with Dr. Annie Donaldson about her groundbreaking research examining domestic abuse in Scotland's rural, remote and island communities. Dr. Donaldson, an honorary research fellow at the University of Strathclyde and longtime expert in gender-based violence, shares insights from interviews with survivors and professionals about the unique dynamics of domestic abuse in small, interconnected communities.Key topics include:The "paradox of proximity" - how physical isolation combines with close social connections to create unique challenges for survivors in rural areasHow community connections can be...2025-02-101h 15Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 6 Episode 3: Rethinking Gender-Based Violence Prevention: A Call to Action with Jess Hill and Michael SalterSend us a text"Single mothers are essentially the unofficial reserve army of prevention agents in this country and around the world." - Jess HillIn this episode, David and Ruth speak with Australian experts Jess Hill and Professor Michael Salter about their groundbreaking paper challenging current approaches to preventing gender-based violence. With Australia's commitment to end gender-based violence within a generation, yet concerning increases in sexual violence and domestic homicides, this timely discussion explores why traditional prevention strategies focused on changing social norms and attitudes have fallen short.Key points discussed include:2025-01-311h 06Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 6 Episode 2: Coercive Control and ChildrenSend us a textIn this episode, David and Ruth explore why coercive control must be at the center of how we understand the impact of domestic abuse on children. Moving beyond just focusing on physical violence or whether children "witnessed" abuse, they discuss how perpetrators' patterns of behavior can devastate children's wellbeing in multiple ways.David and Ruth examine how coercive control by perpetrators can rob children of vital resources including economic stability, healthcare, education, family connections, and safety. They discuss how these patterns intersect with systemic oppression and vulnerabilities, creating additional layers of...2025-01-2643 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 6 Episode 1: "Just Leave": Examining Displacement-Based Responses to Domestic ViolenceSend us a textIn this thought-provoking first episode of 2025, David and Ruth explore how displacement-based responses to domestic violence reflect and reinforce gender double standards while often creating additional vulnerabilities for survivors and their children. Recording from the Azores, they examine how the expectation that victims must leave their homes to find safety places unfair burdens on survivors while failing to hold perpetrators accountable.Key discussion points include:How displacement-based responses arose historically when women had limited legal and economic rightsWhy forcing survivors to leave their homes, financial assets, and support networks creates...2025-01-0234 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 13: Coercive Control & Children Conference Podcast: The Role of Language in Global Responses to Domestic AbuseSend us a textWhat if understanding power dynamics could transform the way we approach domestic abuse and trauma? Join us for this special live recording of the "Partner with a Survivor" podcast, where we invite you to explore the delicate intricacies of relationships alongside hosts David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo from the Safe and Together Institute. Ruth, known for her "Cranky Survivor" persona, opens up about how this unique character serves as both a personal expression and a strategic response to the challenges faced by victim survivors when dealing with institutional behaviors & professional biases. T...2024-12-1941 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 12: Challenging the Gospel of Sacrifice: Faith, Domestic Abuse, and Institutional TransformationSend us a textWhat if the institutions we turn to for solace are also be the ones trapping us in cycles of harm? That's the challenging reality we confront in our latest episode featuring Reverend Geneece Goertzen, affectionately known as Rev. Gen. A survivor of domestic violence herself, Rev. Gen brings a deeply personal perspective to the table, sharing insights from her book "Taking it Seriously: A Faith Leader's Guide to Domestic Violence." Her story is not just one of survival but also of transformation, as she navigates the complex role of religious institutions in both...2024-12-1956 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5, Episode 10: Beyond Presence: Redefining Responsible Fatherhood in a Domestic Abuse-Informed WorldSend us a text📝 In this thought-provoking episode, we explore the nuanced intersection of father engagement and domestic abuse-informed practice with Chris Brown, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI). Our conversation examines how we can thoughtfully promote father involvement while maintaining high standards for men as parents, disrupting gender double standards and keeping the safety and long term wellbeing of children at the center.🎯 **Key Topics:**• The historical context behind NFI's founding and evolution of fatherhood programs• Examining father absence through a domestic abuse-informed lens• Balancing father engagement with survivor safety and well-bei...2024-10-231h 02Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5, Episode 9: Partnering vs. Practicing: The Hidden Bias in Professional Crisis WorkSend us a text🔄 Transforming Professional StandardsJoin us from São Miguel, Azores, Ruth's paternal ancestral home, as we challenge conventional metrics of professionalism and explore how institutional practices, mandates, best practices often reinforce dangerous barriers between professionals and survivors of domestic abuse. We examine what true Partnership looks like when we step beyond traditional professional boundaries.📊 Measuring What Matters:• Evaluating professional success through survivor partnership outcomes• Identifying KPIs, practices & policies that perpetuate professional bias & poor outcomes• Tracking meaningful engagement and Impact versus procedural compliance, top down best practices not tied to e...2024-10-2250 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 8: The Myth of the Domestic Violence IncidentSend us a textIn this episode, David & Ruth speak about the Myth of the Domestic Violence Incident chapter David's recently published book: "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform The Way We Keep Children Safe From Domestic Violence." They discuss how an isolated incident lens:Focuses systems interventions & professional responses on isolated acts of physical violence rather than on patterns of violence & coercive control which blinds professionals and systems to the wider dangers created to adult & child survivors by a perpetrator Makes it harder to see the loss of libe...2024-07-2935 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 7: Childhood Domestic Violence Exposure is “Pivotal”: An interview with Professor Higgins, an Australian Childhood Maltreatment Study (ACMS) chief investigatorSend us a textThe recently published groundbreaking, population-based study of child maltreatment in Australia found exposure to domestic violence is the most common form of maltreatment (39.6%). In this interview with Professor Daryl Higgins, one of the studies’ chief investigators, David and Ruth discuss the domestic violence specific results including how they intersect with other forms of maltreatments and other adverse experiences to produce health and other challenges in adults. Some of the key results discussed include:What was learned about childhood maltreatment, and its connection to health outcomes in adults, in this study of 8500 Australians How d...2024-07-231h 14Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 6: This Work is Sacred: An interview with Beth Ann MorhardtSend us a textPartnering with survivors is a sacred act. Listening to survivors, hearing their stories, and working with them as equals is uplifting for practitioners and their clients. In this episode of Partnered With a Survivor, David and Ruth speak with Beth Ann Morhardt, one of the first domestic violence consultants trained in the Safe & Together Model, about the spiritual aspects of the work with families. The interview starts with discussion of Beth Ann and David's long history of professional collaboration, starting with her work using the Safe & Together Model with child protection. Drawing...2024-06-051h 02Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 5: A Trauma History is Not An Excuse for Acting AbusivelySend us a textIn this episode of Partnered with A Survivor, David & Ruth have an intimate discussion about how we can be emotionally & behaviorally responsible even when we have been trained into fear & reactivity through violence & abuse. David and Ruth discuss:How we need to drop binary definitions in order to prevent abusers from using their history of trauma as an excuse for current behaviors of coercive control & violence. The importance of unlearning reactive behaviors that we came by 'honestly' through traumaThe importance of considering context, patterns of behavior and impacts on functioning as part of the...2024-05-2037 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 4: Unveiling the Impact of Domestic Violence on Children: Beyond the Myth of the Child WitnessSend us a textDiscover the hard truths about the impact of domestic violence on children, as we, David and Ruth Reymundo Mandel, discuss the "Myth of the Child Witness" chapter from David's book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence." We promise you'll come away with a deeper understanding and a sense of urgency to shift the way society responds to young survivors. Listen as we pull back the curtain on the often-invisible effects of witnessing abuse and how these experiences shape the lives of c...2024-04-1650 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 3: An Introduction to the David Mandel's Book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe from domestic violence"Send us a textIn this episode, Ruth and David start with a round up of their March 2024 Safe & Together trip to Australia and New Zealand with highlights from the 7th annual Safe & Together Asia Pacific conference with it's focus on work with First Nation peoples, feedback from podcast listeners, and an update on how the Model is transforming the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. Then Ruth and David pivot to discuss the ideas behind David's first book "Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to transform the way we keep children safe " from Legitimus...2024-04-0246 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 2: Women’s Use of Force in Intimate Relationships: An Interview with Lisa Young LaranceSend us a textBoth men and women can be violent and controlling. In this episode of Partnered with a Survivor, Ruth and David speak with international expert Lisa Young Larance about her research and clinical practice related to women’s use of force in intimate relationships. In the conversation, Lisa highlights the importance of context and intersectionalities in any analysis of women’s use of force in intimate relationships.In recounting her work, Lisa shares about:The importance of a behavioral and life span lens when understanding the use of force in intimate rela...2024-02-1859 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 5 Episode 1: Sexual and Domestic Violence In the Military: An Interview with Never Alone AdvocacySend us a textSexual and domestic violence in the military challenges recruitment, retention, team cohesion, operational readiness, security and organizational health. Yet, most militaries around the world are still struggling to effectively address these problems. Gaps in the response harm military families, and allow the destruction of the careers and health of survivors. The Safe & Together Institute, through its work with the UK Ministry of Defence, has seen the positive impact of domestic violence-informed practice in this area.In this episode, David & Ruth speak with Amy Braley Frank, founder of Never Alone Soldiers, and...2024-02-1156 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 12: Research That Puts Survivors at the CenterSend us a textHistorically research hasn’t always involved or benefited the population being studied. Dr. Elizabeth Dalgarno, the Director, and Founder of the SHERA Research Group is staunch advocate of research that is undertaken by and with the people it concerns rather than “on” them. In this far-ranging interview, Ruth, David, and Dr Dalgarno discuss: SHERA’s research into health effects on survivors of their family court involvement in Brazil and England (Spoiler Alert: The negative health effects of family court involvement for domestic abuse survivors is significant!) What practitioners can do differently within the current...2023-12-0949 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 11: Human Resources Policy & Domestic Violence: Creating A Domestic Violence-Informed OrganizationSend us a textDomestic violence represent 27% of workplace violent events 1 in 5 victims take time off from work due to abuse 20% of victims of domestic abuse had taken off month or more in prior year 56% arrived late at least 5x/month53% missed at least 3 days of work/month 65% of companies do not have domestic violence policy (SHRM)These statistics only represent a fraction of the picture of how domestic violence perpetrators impact their partner's employment, but also how they impact employers and the overall workplace envir...2023-12-0553 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 10: Ensuring the Voice of the Child is Heard, and Child’s Best Interests are Considered in Domestic Abuse Cases: How the Safe & Together Model Helps Promote the Rights of ChildrenSend us a textAre children domestic violence victims in their own right? Are they co-victims with the adult survivor? What is the relationship between the child and the adult survivors’ experiencesHow do we hold domestic violence perpetrators accountable in their role as parents? How do we consider the child’s relationship to the perpetrator in decisions related to them? How do we make sure both adult and child survivors receive the support they need and deserve? How do we consider the best interests of child survivors as we craft our policy and practice response to domestic violence? How do we...2023-11-1852 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 9: The Last Drop Film: A revolutionary new tool for professionals working with young people around Coercive ControlSend us a textThe problem of dating violence and coercive control among young people has been sorely overlooked, and educational resources are hard to find...until now! In order make coercive control visible to youth & to fill a gap in professional education materials & intervention strategies for young people, we have partnered with the revolutionary new abuse prevention film, The Last Drop . In this Podcast interview, Ruth & David interview Adam Joel, the Writer & Director of the Last Drop Film. In this interview we speak about how this film came to be, how a dive...2023-11-0135 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 8: “Heart Healing”: An interview with Mibbinbah’s Lisa and Jack BulmanSend us a textIn this episode, Ruth & David speak with Lisa & Jack Bulman of Mibbinbah Spirit Healing about their work in community to facilitate healing from intergenerational trauma, support healthy relationship connections and strengthen the wellbeing of Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander men and families. Mibbinbah uses a “whole of communities” approach which brings men & women together to heal in community. (From the Mibbinbah website: “The two words Mibbin meaning Men or Eagle and Bah meaning place come from the Eastern Yugambeh Language of South Eastern Queensland. Therefore placing the two words together gives...2023-10-1859 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 7: Survivors Are Better Parents Than Most People Think (even survivors themselves)Send us a textIn this episode, David & Ruth talk about why the Safe & Together Institute focuses on survivor protective capacities and some of the research behind this approach. While assessments of harm and risk, and trauma frameworks are important, these approaches highlight danger and pathologies. But these approaches, while necessary, are not sufficient enough for true collaboration and partnering with survivors. In a world where there are gender double standards related to parenting, e.g. higher standards for women as parents than for men, it is essential that we don’t just focus on harms but...2023-07-0653 minPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 6: “The Professional Part of Me is Not Separated from the Personal:” An interview with Nneka MacGregorSend us a textSurvivors, who are professionals, can live in fear that if they share their experience in the workplace, they will be dismissed and disregarded. In this episode, Ruth & David speak with Nneka Mcgregor, founder & Executive Director of WomenattheentrE, about the need to transform our systems so that professionals who are survivors, can safely share their experience to strengthen the response of systems to gender-based violence. Nneka shares her journey as a survivor and a professional including how attempts by those in the domestic violence field to silence her made her even more c...2023-06-261h 16Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 5: An interview with Caring Dads co-creator Dr. Katreena ScottSend us a textThere are few intervention programs for fathers who use violence as part of their parenting. In this episode, David & Ruth take a deep dive into the work that needs to happen with violent fathers with Dr. Katreena Scott, the co-creator of the Caring Dads program. In this interview, David Ruth and Katreena speak aboutThe importance of intervening with violent fathers What makes Caring Dads different than a traditional men’s behavior change programmingHow Caring Dads is different than traditional parenting programs How Car...2023-06-201h 07Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo MandelSeason 4 Episode 4: Being abused by a partner while advocating for others: An interview with Leah Vejzovic, the Safe & Together Institute North American Regional ManagerSend us a textProfessionals working in domestic violence and related fields are not immune from being abused by their partner. In fact, their role as a domestic violence or related professional can create some unique vulnerabilities that perpetrators are willing and able to exploit as part of their efforts at control. In another episode in the series about practitioners who identify as survivors, Ruth and David interview one of their own colleagues at the Safe & Together Institute – Leah Vejzović the North American Safe & Together Regional Manager. In this intimate interview, Leah shares her journey of experiencing abuse...2023-05-231h 00