Shows
Rats In The GutterIrish TorpedoOkay, so the Katy Perry abuse might’ve crossed over into primal woman-hate; on a local scale we mean. Like, it’s overkill at this point. In this being the rats dissect where the admittedly gleeful train of celebrity hate might accidentally be a mouthpiece for systemic misogyny; or worse, a cultural loathing of brunettes. And what vivisection of the bittersweet phenom known as Katy Perry would be complete without a full chronology of her famous Taylor Swift beef (because, you know, we’re in the mood for some dated trivia). Slightly less dated is Ireland, as both place and co...2025-07-2647 min
Rats In The GutterBuffy the Moa SlayerFor some reason, or perhaps because a show about surviving late-stage capitalism with your friends and sanity intact is relevant now, the rats revisit some ancient Buffy lore. Or perhaps it’s because a show about the undead resonates with recent national conversations (in actual mainstream media) about resurrecting the moa, or the kiwi when it’s finally extinct; because apparently conservation is redundant when we can just clone back whatever species we accidentally annihilate. It’s important to note that Buffy is not a show about non-violence; rather, it’s about building community and then weaponising that community against...2025-07-1946 min
Rats In The GutterOft OverlookedTwinks; what even are they? This is just one of many hard hitting questions the rats tackle in this week’s free to air (fuckin freeloaders) episode. They don’t come to a conclusion mostly because doing so is grossly homophobic (or do they?). Also on the agenda is whether or not David Seymour should unalive himself which, as always, the rats are pretty strongly in favour of, if only because he represents reddit adjacent vitriol which our spineless PM and the National party broadly has allowed to enter the mainstream chat with the same negligence as America (and we a...2025-07-131h 06
Rats In The GutterGoiters AgainSORRY FOLKS - this ep is coming out about a week late due to a technical errorIf the rising seas don’t vanish Venice then surely Jeff Bezos’ repugnantly lavish wedding and its vile attendees will sink it faster than nineties-sized Oprah on a boogie board. So hypothesise the rats. Also, Lorde’s Virgin is finally here and so the rats share their initial impressions, and relief that Ella’s stepped away from NZ-tourism adjacent guitar pop and given us something ornate and vaguely menacing, like she’s oh so good at. Also also, the importance...2025-07-1051 minRats In The GutterFingies CrossedThis ep is proudly sponsored by One Percent Collective: opc.nz/RATSReality bends, warps, is vulnerable to liberal edits by every twelve year old with an iPhone, and is the worse off for it. That’s what we’re dealing with, collective sanity taking an extended sabbatical. And that’s the exact tone the rats take with its free-to-you ep this week, a shame-free fact-free spiral down various rabbit holes including Philip K Dick’s absurd declaration of female pop singers being emissaries of a supreme alien intelligence (The Logos), inter-dimensional travellers cleaning up after humanity...2025-06-2755 min
Rats In The GutterChowder In & OutThe rats have contracted a mental illness whereby they can’t stop name dropping. Symptoms include swapping stories about famous people who may or may not hate them. Also, seasonal depression is getting mixed up with the existential dread of democracy’s very violent and drawn out end, which the rats have various strategies for combatting; like keto friendly sweet treats courtesy of local brand Justine’s, which Sam has seriously considered emailing with a message of profound gratitude.Also, the country’s best in-store New World deli is aflame! The rats wonder whether they’ll still be a...2025-06-2155 min
Rats In The GutterRejuvenated FISSUREThere seems to be a lot of negative chat re Sabrina Carpenter’s new album cover, and while at least one of the rats thinks Sabrina is the pop world’s most beige offering since Missy Higgins, they both agree that women policing women isn’t on; unless it’s a grown woman advising another grown woman to keep her love of Taylor Swift on the d-low (because like every conservative grifter with a secret Grindr account knows, not all guilty pleasures are quote-unquote innocent). Also; Sam complains (again) about having his expensive douche bottle stolen and renounces Queen Street C...2025-06-1643 min
Rats In The GutterChris Bishop is UnattractiveWow, what a week it’s been. And this is certainly not a valid review because what’s a week, where am I, whose jiz is this and what even IS time? Featured in this week’s democratically available episode is the following; the evils of physically repellant politicians being allowed to attend music awards that no one invited them to anyway; the particular sadness of Helen Keller and why we love her (despite how it sounds); the exquisite joys of our first Pride without the blight of Jojo Siwa, who is this seasons sexual-turncoat (think a reverse Cynthia Nixon, but du...2025-06-0540 min
Rats In The GutterCelestial MantisThis week the rats discuss the proverbial (delusional?) lure of escape; whether it be from an alien abduction themed escape room, or between the bars of your frankly mis-advertised air bnb at Abu Ghraib, we ask what the true cost of freedom is (hint; it’s a flaying of the face). Also, are all bisexuals ‘vers’, or is this just another myth (much like bisexuality itself; just joking, we know it’s real). Johanna’s queer-card is put to the test (and nearly revoked) as she describes how strap-ons don’t do it for her, if only because she’s a tactile gal...2025-05-2949 min
Rats In The GutterGay for Pay (Yay)Twin or tumour, length or girth, polyamory or cheating. The rats are asking hard questions this week and, like most media, reducing the nuances of reality to subsets of easily digestible binaries (you’re welcome). Notably, gender is explored and the fractious myth of ‘male loneliness’ which is actually, so the rats think and say, a symptom of toxic masculinity; which, they add, no one is immune from embodying, from doe-eyed twink to bullish butch (plaid-inclusive). But perhaps the most important takeaway from this week’s episode is how the new masc ideal is porn adjacent, and willing to suck. Dick for...2025-05-2140 min
Rats In The GutterRecommended ProteinThis episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus.As late-stage capitalism devours us all the rats turn inward, applying the same journalistic principles of critical analysis which they’re known for to the ways in which they move through the world. This includes looking at their morning routines, varied because one of the rats is obnoxiously sober atm while the other maintains the little sanity they’re afforded by carnie-life in the form of treats and intermittently playing dead...2025-05-0546 minRats In The GutterPillow PrincessThis episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus.This week at least one of the rats is experiencing the kinds of performance exhaustion that made Houdini fake his own death back in 1926 (unverified). That said, the pair drag themselves up from the bowels of ennui to deliver a refreshing overhaul of The Moment (like, spiritually; nearly zero facts). This overhaul begins with a rough inventory of gay sexual personae, including a breakdown of the mysterious veil between being...2025-04-281h 00Rats In The GutterMaybe, That’s The ClitThis episode is proudly supported by ReWired.org.nz - a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their Party 'n' Play into focus.Not an easter special by any measure but Jesus Christ does get a mention by way of his unofficial bio-epic JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR, of which Johanna is a recent convert. We’d also be remiss if we didn’t touch on Katy Perry going to space, mostly because of our deep collective grief (as a species) that she just didn’t stay up there (orbiting the planet; intermittently bumping into one of...2025-04-2248 minRats In The GutterPut It In The BagJubba Hive Rise! This week (under the looming shadow of . . . well, everything right now) the rats find small (guilty) joy in spending absurd amounts of money. We explore the magic of mushrooms, and in doing so are forced to confront the abjectly humiliating auras of those who love mushrooms a little too much. We touch on China’s mycelial trade reach, the absurdity of tariffs, the unbearable lightness of Jabba, all lightly spritzed with the usual caustic psychobabble you’ve come to know and loathe. Also, what are the real dangers of waxing your scrotum. And is it really such a fa...2025-04-0854 minRats In The GutterLabia to LinoleumJohanna is in Melbourne doing the comedy circuit. So begins a month or so of long distance episodes. Kinda like Heloise and Abelard but without the platonic eroticism. And instead of a medieval cloister the rats are sending each other passionate missives from an air mattress and a shared artist studio, respectively. Highlights include sudden death, the Abu Ghraib-adjacent regimen of reformer pilates, and Picnic at Hanging Rock (which should cost definitely NOT be remade). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-04-0357 minRats In The GutterThe Unbearable Vices of BeingDespite there being very little reason to live at the moment, what with the kinds of geopolitical instability unseen in the west since the end of WW2, the rats manage to find joy in the little things. Like wings from Dominos. The ferocious ally-ship of Azealia Banks (and how JK Rowling betrayed the millennials responsible for her ill-begot fortune). DIY glory-holes with strangers (only a towel and a shower door needed!). And nostalgic tv shows (which when indulged, more often than not, are a clear sign of an incoming depression). Also, what the effing eff are The Humours and...2025-03-2655 minRats In The GutterSabine ReturnsTrilling echolalia of the inner chamber, walls slowly closing in, but they’re gilt chintz so we don’t mind. Also fuck Luxon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-03-1354 minRats In The GutterBUZZYOscars? Buzzy. Raglan? Buzzy. PR relationships? Buzzy. A tight five? Buzzy. Marmite sandwiches? Buzzy. Davide Seymour’s natal alcohol syndrome? Priceless.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-03-0751 minRats In The GutterLIGHT ON TOXAbsurdity as a radical gesture, refusal to treat the body more specifically the face as a profitable asset, and the unbearable lightness of race. Enjoy.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-02-2745 minRats In The GutterCHARMING THE ADDERWe’re counting the days until impact with NASA announcing the immanent arrival of a ‘city killer’ asteroid, just as Brian Tamaki is counting the days until the antagonized queers and exploited Maori and Pacifica families in his congregation cobra-strike-back. Stay tuned Tamaki you fat fuck.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xxGet your tickets for the crossover GAYZ IN THE GUTTER show with Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson on Feb. 17th here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more i...2025-02-2057 minRats In The GutterI VIBE (so what)This country’s going to hell in a diamanté handbag, kinda puts a damper on Pride. So we’re ashamed.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xxGet your tickets for the crossover GAYZ IN THE GUTTER show with Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson on Feb. 17th here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-02-1457 minRats In The GutterCANTERBURY CAPRESEThis week the rats discuss conservative delusion (such as recolonisation), being pet lovers, the unbearable lightness of fanny sweat, Beyonce’s calculated Virgo moves, and reformer pilates.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xxGet your tickets for the crossover GAYZ IN THE GUTTER show with Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson on Feb. 17th here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-02-0659 minRats In The GutterBIBLICAL TWINKSHistorical inaccuracies abound! Was David of David and Goliath fame a flamer? Was Jack the Ripper doing Queen Victoria’s bidding? Am I a natural blonde? Listen to find out.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xxGet your tickets for the crossover GAYZ IN THE GUTTER show with Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson on Feb. 17th here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-02-0254 minRats In The GutterDIDDY'S LASERSWelcome to the facelift. A new and improved Rats 2.0 (if you’ve paid for it). The non-pay-wall peasant channel is still as good, but let’s be honest, your stinginess is as attractive as a naked honey-covered Elon Musk coming down your chimney in the middle of the night. As of now we’re journalists. Enjoy the facts.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-01-2950 minRats In The GutterESOTERIC INFLAMMATIONthere’s an ambience of despair this episode. But rats are survivors. Except for countries so poverty stricken people eat them. Like what New Zealand under our current prime minister.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-01-2158 minRats In The GutterLITTLE PEEPSWith Sam and Johanna away on holiday, here's a bonus episode released last month on our Patreon! Back soon, happy 2025 ratties xxWelcome again behind the pay wall where everything’s on the table. This week we can’t help noticing how positively Aryan Troye Sivan is no matter how many brown hotties he hooks up with on stage. Also, Johanna is hungover. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2025-01-1416 minRats In The GutterHEIRONYMOUS KWEEFPoly-tics - The government is a choad parade of gross incompetence and double chins and we’ve had a guts full! Also merry xmas.Get every episode early and in video, PLUS our bonus BTS episodes, on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-12-241h 00Rats In The GutterRATS RECAPLIVE FROM THE BASEMENT THEATRE - This week's episode is coming to you live and rancid in front of an actual audience. As Sam and Johanna catalogue the insanity of the year that was they cannot help being drawn back to the cherry on top of 2024 - Luigi Mangione and his 9incher.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-12-171h 01Rats In The GutterLAND OF THE FAT WHITE C**TSRats gets lice. Not these rats. But we’ve heard it’s a thing. The following is a speculative journey on the parasitical nature of politics, religion, and other ideologies. With jokes.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-12-1047 minRats In The GutterDEFYING FAGGOTRYUm, this episode is about Wicked. Obviously. Sorry if we’re predictable but that’s on the carnival feeling the gays and the girls get from a big budget lezzy coded musical fantasy epic about the importance of being cunt. Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-12-031h 00Rats In The GutterREALITY IS THE GAGThere’s nothing harder in this volatile climate than getting out of bed in the morning, closely followed by trying to put a coherent label on what kind of ‘ism’ we’re currently suffering from. This week, like every week, the rats give it a (futile) go.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-11-2655 minRats In The GutterBLEEP BLEEP BLOPShit’s real, shit’s dark; shit’s real dark. This week the rats talk various radical forms of feminist solidarity, bespoke seventeenth century violin design, and of course return to the source (the imminent arrival of intergalactic life forms)Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-11-1955 minRats In The GutterTAKE MY HUMPSam and Johanna go broad this week! From Auckland new goblin bar to lute wielding exes in press ons to Esther Perel deep romance interrogation ; come for Anne Franks lost musical career and stay for Sam’s bottom line.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-11-121h 00Rats In The GutterDAVID’S GOTTA GOthe country is being run by sociopaths with micro penises. This week the rats call the corners and their enraged and like-minded peers towards a solution outside of discourse.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-11-0557 minRats In The GutterKILL THE FAT CONTROLLERSam and Johanna are on a political rampage! Spanning the suffrage movement, Gertrude Steins iron reign, and NZ government moving against its own capital city in a powerful surge of hypocrisy, our rats offer their a variety of their extremist left wing views with minimal solutions!Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-10-2950 minRats In The GutterFIFTY SHADES OF FENTIan ambiently bitter episode. includes a review of Ariana Grande’s racial fluidity, a loving rib on theatre, and the usual white-noise you’d expect from the rats that live in your walls.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-10-2256 minRats In The GutterBYO CIGARILLOS GIRLSTheatre, faggotry, more faggotry, very public meltdowns. Welcome to this week’s intellectually stimulating potpourri of an episode. We speculate on Abe Lincoln’s sexuality, Mary Todd’s alcoholism, and whether or not we’d fuck a skinhead.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-10-1656 minRats In The GutterFILLER ON THE ROOFancestry, misogyny, wellness, an oddly earnest hour(ish) of rats this week. Basically the only real journalism left in this country after the budget cuts. enjoy.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-10-0856 minRats In The GutterRATS LIVE . . . AGAIN!take a cozy and harrowingly unfiltered 50 min break with a recording of our latest live appearance. If you listen quietly you can hear people leaving the theatre midway.Get episodes early and in video on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-09-2944 minRats In The GutterFEATURING EMMA GLEASONthis week we talk to NZ Herald journalist Emma Gleason about life, love, and the dystopian abolishment of truth in a media landscape that has no center.Support us on Patreon for video episodes and more xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-09-0356 minRats In The GutterALLEGATIONSthis week the rats speculate whether a midi allegation has substance or is just the blue-haired posturing of a hysterical plaintiff with a bone to pick.Support us on Patreon for video episodes, bonus episodes and more xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-08-2733 minRats In The GutterELON MUSKSNothing spoils the broth quite like remembering that you’re gonna die, though the rats recommend a daily memento mori to avoid delusions of immortality. Other bummers this week include mystery smells and the martial-homo tragedy of Achilles and Patroclus. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-08-2040 minRats In The GutterCUL DE SACThe rats are emotionally unstable this week. We think it has something to do with the retrogrades. Enjoy forty-ish minutes of arrested development and gymnastic avoidance. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-08-1340 minRats In The GutterI CAN SEE YOUR (anal) HALOIt’s a cruel world but the rats think they’ve got a handle on it. This week they share their dos and donts, exchanging considered perspectives on different kinds of etiquette, ugly people in Melbourne, coexisting with a debilitating nicotine dependence, and anal bleaching.Support us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-08-0637 minRats In The GutterFRITTER ME THIS!this week, let them eat fritters! the rats get nostalgic about fritter festival, which they have never been to. there’s also some light commentary on the monarchy and the lethal stranglehold america has on the rest of the world (as always, free palestine)Find video episodes and bonus episodes on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-07-3039 minRats In The GutterSHOTS FIREDthis week the rats are fired up about political violence, dead naming Russel Brand, the class warfare that is travel by air, and Brian Tamaki’s big glass closet.Support us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-07-2244 minRats In The GutterTHE SHRILL SHRIEK I SHROKEWant some tips on how to combat writers block? The luteal phase? Drunk history? Johanna’s specific walk of shame requirements? Samuel’s relaxation routine? Trad wives? Look no further! And that’s on leeches in the fridge xSupport us on Patreon for episodes early and in video xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-07-1642 minRats In The GutterBLUE HAIRED POLYCULEMaXXXine is out! Madam is out! Richard III’s corpse is out (in a carpark)! Sam and Johanna are sick of therapy but they absolutely love Michelle Branch - buckle up for a beautiful and spiteful 34.40 minutes ratties xGet episodes early & in video by supporting us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-07-0834 minRats In The GutterSMAUGEp description: Our (b)rats are back in the studio and if you thought they were over screaming themselves hoarse over the acid green sensation that is Charli’s latest offering - you are sorely mistaken! Additional material includes a history lesson, an elocution lesson and some good old fashioned self referencing indulgenceSupport us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-06-3041 minRats In The GutterSPIRITUAL FECAL SILTThe seasons cleave to Charli XcX and the world is now Brat green! Join Johanna and Sam for a deep dive into THE album of the year (soz Beyonce) with side notes including Andy Cohen’s femme shark tank, the self suck community and Azealia Bank’s extensive dry cleaning requirements.Find video versions of episodes + bonus episodes on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-06-1236 minRats In The Gutter“Some people think global warming is a hoax, perpestrated by the Chinese. But I say, show me the receips! Because why would Xi Xin Ping wanna flood my basement and rust my Bowflex? To what end? Toooo what end?”the rats have difficulty centering themselves this week because the world is a gleaming conundrum equal parts pleasure and shiny anguish. So they anchor the only way they know how; talking shit.Video episodes and more available on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-06-0555 minRats In The GutterGENDER FLUIDSis bisexuality a myth? does pussy count as a meal and does it have a smooth finish? this week the rats go deep within themselves to find out where in the binary they live and whether or not identifiers matter when you’re getting properly laid.Full episode available on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-05-2945 minRats In The GutterGENDER NEUTRAL XENO-FLAPSThis week the rats cusp extracurricular exhaustion and the ambient horror of a world on fire, while also finding time to assess the particular madness of aged celebrities, consider Jar Jar Pinks as a prescient gender-radical, and wonder at the face-card cost of using Ozempic (with a less than subtle nod to the songstresses of a generation - Creed) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-05-2035 minRats In The GutterMULTIPLE NDA’Sagainst all legal advice, the rats describe some of their extracurricular activities, which they’re forced to do because podcasting is largely pro bono. Also on the table this week—predatory bisexuals, show me that sweet lil peach, Bayonetta’s lycra wedgie, and bastard-Negronis. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-05-1127 minRats In The GutterHI, GAYAfter a brief work related hiatus - the rats are back in situ with some juicy and shocking personal revelation’s. No spoilers here - tune in and slurp that hot piping tea! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-05-0440 minRats In The GutterSTILL-LIFE RATSIt’s here—the rats live! Effortlessly eclipsing The Eras Tour as the season's most sought-after ticketed event, Cosgrove and Te Kani set Auckland’s Q Theatre alight with blistering charismas, hard hitting takes on social issues, and a tasteful in memorium for celebrity human trafficking victim Madeline McCann. Utterly unmissable. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-04-2053 minRats In The GutterTHE SHRILL ART OF FAILUREthe rats try and have a critical conversation about some frankly profound theatre they recently saw together, and are thwarted by a bug in the system. Ironically, said play had themes of failure in art, in life, and the vertigo and grief of ambition giving way to defeat. We like when a theme comes full circle. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-03-2435 minRats In The GutterAWARDS SEASONAnd so the Oscars are here. It’s difficult to get excited about cinematic glories against the backdrop of genocide and ambient psychological warfare with warmongering zionists. But we try.Support us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-03-1536 minRats In The GutterKWISATZ HADERACHBody dysmorphia is as strong a theme this week as it’s ever been. Dune Part Two looms like a mammoth cultural moment. Fifties housewives dropping tapeworms into their own eyes as a desperate form of weight management seem smarter than most in light of Ozempic and traditional anorexias. Fake twink Timothee Chalamet and his slender boy-wife Zendaya do nothing for the rats' self image. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-03-0739 minRats In The GutterFUSCHIA SPACE DEBRISIn a fugue state of rap beefs and genocides the rats try and cohere a week of internet, in brief. Notably featuring kosher cocktails, Hamas-friendly aperitifs, the American Mong, gluten-free blood flour, and screaming. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-03-0237 minRats In The GutterCARNIE CONVENTION w/ Eli MatthewsonThis week, the rats invite comedian and fellow carnie/attention whore Eli Matthewson in. They exchange stories of willful self exposures, humiliations, and the dangers of not having a side hustle outside improv comedy (a slippery slope tbh). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-02-211h 08Rats In The GutterROLL THE DICEThis week in stinking hot Tāmaki, our rats are more delusional than you thought humanly possible! Sam and Johanna dissect various social and personal quandaries (thigh friction, peddling tickets to international comedy festivals and a succinct definition of the NZ political climate) all for your listening pleasure.Reserve tickets to our show at the Q Theatre PodFest! See you there ratties xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-02-1144 minRats In The GutterBACK OFF FATTYThe horrors persist but so do we. This week, the rats wax on about the survivalism of nature’s reviled critters, pariahs such as cockroaches, wasps, and the extremely unhappy dog next door. Also, Hannah Arendt and the particular body horror of a rat girl summer.Reserve tickets to our show at the Q Theatre PodFest! See you there ratties xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-02-0237 minRats In The GutterUNDER ATTACKSamuel and Johanna are still deep in the northland wilderness which has done wonders for their sense of reality (or lack thereof!) Tune in to this episode completely devoid of facts but filled with delusional musings on periods, dead flies and the dangers of rugby.Reserve tickets to our show at the Q Theatre PodFest! See you there ratties xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-01-2744 minRats In The GutterBUSH PIGSThe rats have gone bush to work on themselves. Critical distance from their natural city habitus gives pause for introspection, a reserve of intellectual acumen used to speak eloquently on various hard hitting topics; such as political scandals, body horror, Rena Owen, and the absurdity of luxury brands. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-01-2245 minRats In The GutterTHE FLY LIST ETCHappy New Year straight from the gutter! This week, Johanna and Samuel are back with a inappropriate vengeance, speculating wildly on all the essential current affairs—The Golden Globes' trainwreck intro, Gypsy Rose Blanchard’s Instagram and of course Epstein’s alphabetized flight list!Gorgeous video versions of every episode and more are available on our Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2024-01-1038 minRats In The GutterAnother WRAPPEDThe year is coming to a close and amidst obligatory family time the rats find a quiet moment to review their year. Join them for an intellectual tour de force at the new and improved runtime of forty minutes or less.Support us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-12-2442 minRats In The GutterBOKASHI HELLThe rats feel the strain of December when New Zealanders prepare to enter a summer free for all of seasonal binge drinking. How will boycotting McDonald’s affect their drunken 3am binges? Do conversations with your exes in a nightmare count as IRL reconciliations? Can my therapist even tell the difference if I can’t? And just who is it stinking up the gym with their bowel cancer?Support us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-12-1253 minRats In The GutterENNUI, FANTASY and YOUThe rats are feeling meh and in their restlessness cavort across topics as diffuse as the visual poetry of Mission Impossible Fallout, Henry Cavill’s supple tit, Chris Bishop’s pretend-smoker status, and the importance of being terminally single.Support us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-12-0558 minRats In The GutterMUSIC (sort of)The rats look back on the year that was, because Spotify told them to. Join them as they introspect about a trash-fire 12 months that included accidental Swiftie status, a real-time genocide and the end of democracy as we know it, no good NZ music to speak of, and an abject lack of romantic prospects. Hazar! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-11-3057 minRats In The GutterBRAIN DIDDLINGAs we careen headfirst into summer, Auckland’s sweatiest and hottest girls keep it nice and moist—much like their dermis. Our rats wax lyrical about whatever is on the forefront of their diddled brains, from the town crier to pools on roofs to a special shout-out to John Travolta in a femme fat suit.Support us on Patreon for access to video episodes xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-11-2257 minRats In The GutterTHE WELLNESS EPISODEAs Samuel visits Johanna’s sickbed (dramatic but real gurls) it’s only fitting that our Rats loosely mull over wellness in a way that is deeply… unwell. Highlights include - Mickey Rourkes meat suit, mechanical ravens and the “Oamaru Piazza”. Ciao!Support us on Patreon xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-11-1659 minRats In The GutterTHERAPIZE THIS!Depression demons, emotional instability, the importance of being pro-Palestine, Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo being the double headed hydra of our times; and actors. As Empire crumbles and the democratic facade of Big Government verily implodes, dump your boyfriend for a single summer and let the good times roll.Support us on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-11-0752 minRats In The GutterBULLET-PROOF PUSSYThis week, the rats air numerous grievances with their fellow man, with whom they are all kinds of disappointed (as you should be). Topics range from the obvious geopolitical nightmare we’re currently living in, Winston Peters gearing up to cyber-bully David Seymour within an inch of his life, rancid Parisian gutters, and the very pressing issue of Russia’s militarized cats. Strap in.Support us on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-11-0655 minRats In The GutterTHE IDThis week the rats are basically scared and confused (and a little horny) from the fumes of a world on fire. It’s two parts vitriol, one part nonsense. Probably better for your own mental health if you skip this one. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-10-2556 minRats In The GutterTRANSITIONSThe rats are tired. Barely keeping their homicidal tendencies in check, Sam & Johanna wax mutual pessimism on the election outcome, the unsettling nature of even positive change, and the lonely burden of personal success. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-10-1756 minRats In The GutterThe EndThe end is very fucking nigh. This week the rats surrender to the notion of existential discontinuation, of their lives, of society, of their already tenuous grasp on reality, etc. But as the Rats' third season comes to a close and they twitter warmly in fond retrospective, a glimmer of hope for renewal emerges. Both for themselves, and for wider humanity. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-10-0539 minRats In The GutterThe Election EpisodeTopical as ever, this week the rats dive into all (or some) things; ELECTION. While the nation enters the political equivalent of the last three episodes of a Ru Paul All Stars, we wax lyrical on the luxury of an MMP system, Paula Bennett in a fat suit, and get to the nitty gritty of our democracy in ways Al Jazeera could never.Join our Patreon: patreon.com/RatsInTheGutter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-09-2840 minRats In The GutterALIENS: the ReturnIn light of the US government’s congressional hearings into the existence and concealment of Unidentified Flying Objects, our rats debate the varieties of information and misinformation assaulting our timelines to Samuels delight and Johanna’s disgust! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-09-2144 minRats In The GutterYou Can Be Funny and Hot w/ Courtney DawsonThis week Johanna and Samuel are joined by the hot, hilarious and heavenly Courtney Dawson! From publicly throwing exes under the bus, to the weights section of your local gym to Paddy Gower this sublimely “crafted” episode digs into a broad array of topics with the directional skills of nana after cataract surgery. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-09-1449 minRats In The GutterAdviceAfter the harrowing loss of their live show recording, Samuel and Johanna retrace their steps to bring you the answers to your questions; literally. This week our rats do their best (and worst) to help you, our listeners, find the sage wisdom you’ve been asking for - think agony aunt with a strong emphasis on agony… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-09-0735 minRats In The GutterStarf*cker-Rats w/ Chris ParkerSamuel and Johanna welcome their second guest into the gutter - the effervescent and gorgeous Chris Parker! Under the guise of " discussing weekends" our newly formed trio careen loosely from ballet to manifesting boyfriends to the imminent return of the genre 'Popra". Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-08-311h 06Rats In The GutterThe EconomyToday our humble gutter dwellers discuss something they are truly unqualified to hypothesise on - The Economy! Listen in abject horror as your fiscally illiterate hosts hurl themselves head first into the financial clusterf*ck in which we find ourselves and somehow find a way to bring it all back to Queen Stephanie Germanotta herself; Lady Gaga. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-08-2446 minRats In The GutterGuest Rat: Ana ScotneyIn a sharp 180 from their usual decrepitude Samuel and Johanna clumsily (albeit with a huge dollop of ice cream-sunshine-and roses) welcome their first guest - Ana Chaya Scotney! Can they delve deep into Ana’s stratospheric stardom while keeping on topic? Only you can decide! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-08-1746 minRats In The GutterFameSamuel and Johanna are back and more malevolent than ever! Buckle up ratties, the first ep of season three has our hosts careening loosely down the roller coaster of Fame! Are they famous? No. Will they shit on their listeners until they reach the pinnacle of so-called success? Yes!Come with us down their merry and tawdry expose of adjacent topics including Country Road, Jabba the Hutt and of course Agent Orange.Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/RatsInTheGutter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-08-1049 minRats In The GutterLIVE SHOW ANNOUNCEMENTTime to get out of your little pod hole, chuck on some glad rags and come to the Rats In The Gutter Live Show! This Saturday 3 June at Basement Theatre, better get your tickets quick! basementtheatre.co.nz/whats-on/rats-in-the-gutter-live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-05-2900 minRats In The GutterTechnologyIn the season finale of season 2, our hosts put their mis-aligned brain power together to muse on the ever-impending AI takeover. Armed with very little fact-based knowledge and a whole lot of opinions, Sam and Johanna traverse the spectrum from Toyota Caribs to sex swings to the Twitterverse and of course, ask the oft-pondered question - will cyborgs take over our brains? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-04-1649 minRats In The GutterMoviesJoin Johanna and Samuel as they step out of their gutters and into the magical world of cinema! From the ozempification of Hollywood, to the harrowing climax of Heidi (1993) our rats discuss their relationship with the silver screen with classic unhinged aplomb. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-04-0750 minRats In The GutterFailureThis week Sam and Johanna open pandora’s rancid yet familiar box as they discuss a topic very dear to their hearts - failure! Lowlights include - adult diapers, success paradigms and mini quiches. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-04-011h 05Rats In The GutterMusicIf music be the food of love…play on sluts! This week Samuel and Johanna manage to hold it together for 50 minutes discussing the soundtrack to their own delusional lives. Strap in and press play because our hosts are gonna hit you with the good the bad and the emo. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-03-2352 minRats In The GutterDisastersWhen the apocalypse finally arrives the rats and the roaches will be all that’s left to repopulate the proverbial rubble. Or will they? If their own disastrous personal histories are anything to go by, then these rats might find themselves two Darwinian exceptions to the rule.Email us at ratsinthegutterpodcast@gmail.com Rats Links Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-03-1547 minRats In The GutterThe CleanseThis week our hosts don their finest Gwyneth Paltrow yoni eggs and discuss the finer points of what and how to cut things right out of your life. From ghosting to colonics, Sam and Johanna operate on their separate and collective psyches with the precision of a drunk surgeon! Better sliving everyone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-03-0844 minRats In The GutterMoneySam and Johanna dive into one of their beloved shared interests - money. This week our rats crawl out of their gutter to discuss all the things great and terrible they have done for cash and their relationship therewith. From the worst acting jobs of all time to living off $1 samosas to Sam’s “current secret project”, you’ll come for the late stage-capitalism woes and stay for the critical analysis of St Vincents most recent album. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-03-0153 minRats In The GutterRageSamuel and Johanna are back and they are livid! This week the rats unleash their pent up furies, from road rage to seething misanthropy to a gorgeous overnight in a police cell. Stand clear and enjoy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-02-2152 minRats In The GutterCelebrity TrashFor the final episode of season one, the pair take a healthy sized leaf out of “That’s Life” magazine and serve up the podcast equivalent of a calorific filibuster. We’re talking trash baby! In the vein of tabloid fodder, our hosts debunk rumors circulating about their own personal lives such as Johanna being a racial fetishiser, or Sam being patient zero for a minor Giardia outbreak circa 2014– before turning their journalistic prowess to pure speculation on select celebrities both here and abroad (with an emphasis on local C & D listers). No one’s safe.Follow us, i...2023-01-181h 01Rats In The GutterSex and Love In the Time of CovidIn the vein of flogging a dead horse Cosgrove and Te Kani turn to that elusive pot-o-gold—love. Feeling informed rather than deterred by their own misadventures, the pair generously share their insights on hitting your thirties as a single person in a global pandemic (no thanks to Carrie Bradshaw), reconciling optimism with excessive disappointment, non/monogamy and the mostly het-nonsense lure of relationships.Follow us, if you dare: linktr.ee/ratsinthegutter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2023-01-1148 minRats In The GutterK Road; A Weary OdeThis episode sees our hosts waxing lyrical on their spiritual and physical home amidst New Zealand’s frequently maligned pleasure-strip Karangahape Rd, having resided in and around the place for a combined thirteen years. With a nod to their shared origin working at Cocos Cantina, the pair dispel hysterical mid-lockdown reporting that the CBD had become NYC in the eighties (blatantly untrue), as well as asking just how queer/depraved the strip remains after an influx of natural wine stores and corporate-friendly eateries. Also, a discussion of K Rd in 2022 wouldn’t be complete without a (slightly nervous) nod to the...2023-01-0447 minRats In The GutterThe SupernaturalIn this installment Cosgrove and Te Kani apply their intellectual acumen to the oft explored world of the supernatural, discussing all things paranormal and by internet consensus ‘Otherworldly/Ethereal’. Included topics range from ghosts, tarot reading and their own fraught relationship therewith, astrology as a derided or even trivialised ‘femme’ voice, abuses of magic (not excluding spell casting to sway the outcome of a TAB pokies machine; true story), and aliens! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2022-12-2850 minRats In The GutterDon't Forget Your RootsSelf-aware city girls they may be, Te Kani and Cosgrove fully grasp the importance of their origins - Whangārei and Paraparaumu respectively. In this episode they take a merry waltz down nostalgia lane in what experts might call an inventory of various traumas. Topics include cruising in smalltowns, performing to prisoners, BOGAN CULTURE, skin-bleach as a perfectly acceptable toilette circa 2006, and growing up alongside the provincial devastations of methamphetamines in real-time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2022-12-2149 minRats In The GutterVicesIn this introductory episode, Samuel and Johanna explore their many indulgences toeing the line between self-care and self-harm, including (among other things) sex toys, weak white men, drinking as a national sport, smoking, full blown Burger King addiction and clinical inter-dependency. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.2022-12-1450 min