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Sam Tielemans

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Couples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction205: Can She Really Know If He’s Not Struggling With Porn Anymore? Look For This.Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornography – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Episode Description: Is she still scared he’s watching porn—even if he says he’s not? And he feels discouraged hoping that his good efforts might not be helping? You’re not alone.2025-07-1720 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction202: The Only Plan You Need to Quit Pornography By the End of 2025Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Episode Description: In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage and family therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction Podcast, reveals the only plan you need to quit pornography in 2025 — and why everything you’ve t...2025-06-2619 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction200: The Real Reason You Keep Struggling with Porn — And Why More Rules Won’t HelpWant help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and i...2025-06-1219 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction199: You Don’t Need to Do Everything to Quit Pornography — Just This One Thing  Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Episod...2025-06-0518 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction198: If You Want Your Urges for Pornography to Go Away, Do ThisWant help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use? Click here to book a free clarity call with Sam – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop – http://trust.stopporn.info   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Go to www.coupleshealing.org and i...2025-05-2922 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction197: You’re Not Codependent — You’re Craving Connection (Here’s the Difference)Is it really codependency… or are you just craving safety after betrayal? In this episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage therapist and host of the Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction Podcast, unpacks one of the most misunderstood topics in relationships impacted by pornography: codependency. If you've ever felt “too needy” for reassurance, or struggled to reconnect after your spouse’s porn use, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface — and how to break the cycle. You'll learn: Why porn addiction creates deep attachment wounds in marriage The diff...2025-05-2218 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction196: Summertime: Visual Temptation Is Everywhere — Here’s How He Can Stay Grounded and Help Her Feel SafeSummertime can be one of the hardest seasons for men working to overcome porn addiction, stay sexually grounded, and rebuild trust in their marriage. With more revealing clothing and constant visual stimulation, many husbands feel guilt and frustration — while their wives feel fear, insecurity, and anxiety. In this powerful episode, Sam Tielemans, licensed marriage and family therapist and expert in porn addiction recovery, unpacks how to handle triggers without shame, how to lead your mind instead of being led by it, and how to create emotional safety in your relationship — even when temptation is everywhere. You’...2025-05-1520 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction195: Why Stress Triggers Porn Addiction — And How to Break the PatternWhy Stress Triggers Porn Addiction — And How to Break the Pattern If you struggle with porn addiction and find yourself relapsing whenever life gets stressful or overwhelming, this episode is for you.  Sam Tielemans, licensed therapist and expert in porn addiction recovery, reveals the hidden link between stress and pornography use — and how to break the cycle for good. You’ll discover: Why stress and overwhelm often trigger porn urges How your brain becomes conditioned to seek porn as an emotional escape The 5-step framework to stop using porn as a coping mechani...2025-05-0819 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction119: Success Story with Kenna and Dave – From Near Divorce to Connection and SafetyHave you ever contemplated ending your relationship because of the hurt and pain you’re feeling?  Or because of broken communication that leads to fights or distance and you're not sure how to repair your marriage, despite everything that you've tried? You’re not alone. So many couples get stuck in negative cycles that break down their love and relationship, leading to resentment and distance. I had the awesome opportunity to work with a couple who reached out right on the brink of divorce after having done multiple programs, therapy, and no ma...2023-11-1643 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction118: When She Says, “If You Loved Me, You Never Would Have Watched Pornography”When a man struggles with pornography, addiction or habit, it’s devastating to his wife.   She will express her hurt and pain to him hoping that the behavior will stop, but when it continues to happen, it creates hopelessness and despair.   In those moments, it's easy for her to interpret the situation as ‘he doesn’t love me or care about me, what’s why he keeps doing it.’   When that is how she interprets his behavior, that creates even more pain in her heart.   But wha...2023-11-0829 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction117: How to Eliminate the Desire for Pornography So You Can Feel ”Normal”Imagine what life would feel like if you didn’t have any desire to look at pornography. You just simply had no interest in it anymore? What if you just felt “normal” and could just go about your day without worrying about temptations and urges? Well, it’s possible. And it’s one of the best feelings in the world. In this episode I want to share with you exactly how you can achieve that and leverage that heart change to create safety and trust in your marriage How can you ac...2023-11-0222 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction116: If a Wife Has Unmet Expectations and a Husband Feels Like His Efforts Aren’t EnoughWhen working to overcome pornography addiction or habit, it’s easy for expectations to not be met..   This work is difficult, and if a wife has expectations of him sharing, growing, and improving, but his capacity is limited, there can be a breakdown in the marriage. She might feel like he’s not really trying and that he doesn’t care about her.   He can feel like no matter what he does, it’ll never be good enough.   And when couples get caught in this type o...2023-10-2621 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction115: When Saying How You Feel Leads to a FightWhen couples are working through the impact of pornography addiction, communication is so important to resolve painful and sensitive issues. But what, if sharing how you feel ends up in a fight? This is exactly what we were talking about in today's episode, and I'll share with your tools and strategies to approach these conversations differently. This can help you find closure and repair the damage that is causing a wall between you and your spouse. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@he...2023-10-2024 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction113: You’ll Never Overcomes Pornography With This Subconscious BeliefIf you’ve ever felt depressed after another relapse and you’ve thought that quitting pornography isn’t possible, then this episode is for you.   I had a session with a client that was a keystone moment in his life and journey to quitting porn and I wanted to share with you what broke an old limiting belief he had that caused lots of setbacks.   In this episode I share how having subconscious beliefs will totally prevent you from finding freedom such as “I’ll never be able to quit” or “this is somethin...2023-10-0526 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction112: Avoid Emotional Spirals With This New ApproachOur emotional state determines the quality of our life. Yet, most people allow the external world to determine their emotional responses. One of the most valuable skills that people can learn is how to work through negative emotions, quickly, maintain a feeling of calm, control, and inner peace. In this episode, I share with you a new approach that can help you work through uncomfortable or difficult events without letting your emotions spiral. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org   ...2023-09-2915 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction111: Success Story With Kevin: Reclaiming His Self Worth and Improving His MarriageFinding success in overcoming pornography, you can be so difficult for many people because they don't know the best way to approach it. It can feel so discouraging and isolating going through this journey, which is why, I wanted to share a success story to help not only give you hope, but for you to also hear the specific things that have been working for men to find freedom. In this episode, I interview Kevin who went through my program a few months ago and he wanted to come back and share with him some...2023-09-2149 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction110: Identifying Source of Urges and Triggers: Habit vs Emotional CopingWhen a man struggles with pornography, identifying the root cause and the source of the urges and triggers is critical. Without knowing what's driving, the urges and the behavior, most solutions will fail. Unless you correctly diagnose the issue, you're flying blind when it comes to addressing it. In this episode, I share with you the two specific categories, from which urges and triggers stem. Tune in as I share: 🚀 Identify the Hidden Sources of Your Struggles: Discover the root causes behind your urges and triggers. Uncover why you've bee...2023-09-1423 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction109: When He’s Doing Well, But She Can’t Reciprocate the LoveMany couples feel overwhelmed by feeling stuck despite trying to take positive steps forward. A woman can often feel afraid to bring her wall down, or she might feel so hurt that she can't really give a whole lot to the relationship. This situation can be difficult for both people, and a husband can feel discouraged when he's doing well but his efforts might not be bringing down the wall as he would have hoped. Tune in to learn how to address the common concerns and fears that couples have: If I don’t...2023-09-0728 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction108: In Session (Behind the Scenes): Repair Your Marriage With THIS ConversationThis is a very special episode I am super excited about! I'm working with a wonderful couple who allowed me to record our sessions together. This episode is a snippet of our second session together and the growth they have experienced in just 1-2 session is unbelievable. So instead of me telling you about how well they're doing, I wanted you to witness it and also see specifically what they did to achieve such growth. Then you can implement the same tools to improve your relationship, and it all begins with a single...2023-09-0136 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction107: Reprocessing Triggers & New Habits: The Key to Avoiding RelapseIn order to sustain progress and avoid relapse in the future, it's so important to not only develop new habits but actually reprocess your triggers. Most men get triggered by being home alone, stress, loneliness, and other situations like that. The problem is that life is difficult and we will experience those things countless times so if those triggers are connected to pornography use, you'll struggle with temptations and urges each time you're in that situation. The key is to reprocess those triggers away from pornography, so you can be bored, home alone...2023-08-2523 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction106: How to Guard Against Temptation and How She Can HelpThe nagging feeling of an urge or temptation can become so powerful it's hard to resist. In this episode I share with you specific approaches and tools you can implement to conquer any urges without needing to rely on Willpower or discipline. Tune in to learn: The key to not feel bad about sexual desire   The difference between and urge to watch pornography and normal sexual energy (and how to navigate it without a slip up)?   How can you utilize triggers to help you make progre...2023-08-1725 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction105: How to Know If You’re Ready For Sexual Intimacy Again in Your Marriage?Navigating sexual intimacy after the impact of pornography can be so difficult! In this episode we do a deep dive to help you know how to integrate sexual intimacy back into your relationship in a way that feels comfortable and safe. Many couples have lots of questions and reservations, tune in to learn: How do we know if we are ready for sex again?   Will being sexual trigger him to watch pornography?   Should we wait 90 days to allow his brain to reset?   ...2023-08-1030 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction104: 3 Ways to Have Hard Conversations More Productively So You Can Find ClosureHaving hard conversations in your marriage after pornography addiction is one of the most important skills you can learn. However, there are many things that can get in the way of having productive conversations together. Tune in to learn: The top reasons why conversations go south (and what you can do about it) How to productively have conversations without rehashing the past over and over Ways to work as a team to create closure surrounding painful events The #1 reason why husbands sometimes avoid painful conversations (and how to resolve it) 3 strategies you can implement toda...2023-08-0326 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction103: Slip vs Relapse and Should He Tell His Wife?Is there a difference between a slip and a relapse, and at what point should he tell his wife? In this episode I detail not only the differences between a slip and a relapse but exactly how you can find Freedom from both by resolving the trigger itself. The traditional way of overcoming pornography is based in helping men prepare for battle. However, much like Pavlov's dog, our brains create powerful links between triggers and reactions. It's like a reflex we can't control, leading us down the path we wish to avoid. 2023-07-2829 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction102. How to Achieve Forgiveness Without Pressure and Forcing ItForgiveness is such an important element in the healing process, yet most people go about it in a way that causes resistance, pressure and frustration. Trying to forgive too early in the process can bring up a lot of pain, so finding tools and a method to help you in this process can be so freeing. In this episode I share the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and the relationship between trust and forgiveness (it's not what you think), and why you might feel stuck on this step of the process. I share...2023-07-2022 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction101. How to Eliminate Scorekeeping and Resentment From Your MarriageIn your journey of overcoming pornography addiction and rebuilding trust in your relationship, it's so important to understand the root of the problem in a way that leads to lasting solutions. In this episode, we'll explore five key points that will benefit any man seeking to overcome pornography addiction and a couple to repair their relationship. Unraveling Resentment and Score-Keeping: Discover effective strategies to eliminate score-keeping and resentment that often plague relationships affected by pornography addiction. Unresolved issues can resurface and hinder growth, but we'll provide practical ways to break free from this cycle. 2023-07-1425 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction100. Instantly Reduce Relapses With This Simple TweakIn the process of overcoming pornography addiction, so many men focus on tracking sobriety. However, there is a big problem with using that as the measurement of success –   • Unintentionally it creates fear, concern and anxiety about when the next time I slip will occur. • It amplifies discouragement and decreases motivation whenever there is a slip after a long streak occurs • Focusing on avoiding slips doesn't actually mean you're making progress resolving the core issue • It often can contribute to dishonesty because a husband doesn't want to disclose to his wife and st...2023-07-0623 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction99. Get Unlimited Motivation to Overcome Pornography AddictionWhen a man struggles with a pornography addiction, both he and his wife often feel concerned that he'll run out of motivation to stay consistent.  And it's true, using methods that don't work can leave him feeling discouraged, frustrated and exhausted.  In this episode I share with you two specific strategies to give you unlimited motivation to stay consistent, focused and steady when it comes to putting in the effort necessary to become the person you were meant to be.  Hearing these strategies can also help a wife feel reassured as he's taking a n...2023-06-2928 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction98. 3 Strategies to Overcome a Man’s Knee-Jerk Dishonesty With His WifeOne of the most damaging things to a relationship is dishonesty. He completely undermines trust, makes a woman second-guess everything her husband says, and at least two arguments and fighting. So often, many men have a knee-jerk reaction of being dishonest despite him knowing that it causes more damage. Instead of pushing harder for honesty and reminding him of how important it is to tell the truth, there is a different way to approach this problem to resolve it on a deeper level. In this episode I share with you three specific strategies...2023-06-2325 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction97. New Tools for When Communication Breaks Down (Part 2)In the previous episode I talked about the negative communication cycles that every couple get stuck in. I shared with you the formula to communicate effectively to create understanding and connection between you and your spouse. But what if you run into roadblocks and that communication doesn't work when you try it? This episode is all about how to address the three most common blocks (and tools to fix it) where communication breaks down despite your best efforts. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.or...2023-06-1524 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction96. Breaking Negative Communication Cycles and Preventing Arguments (Part 1)Every couple gets caught in negative communication cycles. When there is anger, defensiveness, shutting down and avoidance, it makes it impossible for a couples to find connection and resolution to the problems they are facing. In this episode I share with you the most common negative cycle and the specific formula detailing how you can escape the pattern to create a file of connection and understanding between you and your spouse. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Face...2023-06-0929 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction95. 3 Strategies to Build Your Self EsteemPornography addiction has a huge impact on the self-esteem of the husband who struggles as well as his wife who has been devastated by his addiction.  In this episode, I share with you three specific strategies that you can use immediately to begin to rebuild your self-esteem, increase your confidence and feelings of worth, and feel more hopeful and optimistic about the future. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools...2023-06-0124 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction94. How to Deal With Urges For Pornography Without Needing WillpowerGet ready for an eye-opening episode where we tackle the challenge of overcoming the urge to watch pornography.  Join us as we delve into a new way to deal with the triggers and nagging thoughts that constantly tempt men towards pornography. In this episode, I share a unique approach that throws traditional willpower and discipline out the window and help you discover a new approach that is sustainable and more comfortable to help you overcome an urge without needing to work harder. This episode is all about revolutionizing the way we deal with a...2023-05-2623 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction93. Self Compassion: A Research-Based Tool to Reduce Slips and Heal TraumaDo you ever feel trapped in the same addiction cycle, struggling for years without making any progress? You're not alone. But there's one secret that can help you break free and heal for good: self-compassion. Many people believe that being hard on themselves will make them do better, but research shows that self-compassion is the key to overcoming addiction. In this episode, we'll share the story of a client who felt trapped in a vicious cycle of shame and self-loathing, and how we helped him see that self-compassion was the answer. ...2023-05-1820 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction92. Tools For A Marriage When There’s No Emotional SafetyToday we're going to talk about pornography addiction and how it can affect a marriage.  It's a problem that undermines safety, destroys trust, and creates a feeling of betrayal for the spouse.  But the good news is that there are three things you can do to address this problem and save your marriage from being stuck in a cycle of mistrust and pain. When a relationship lacks safety, it can be hard for the other spouse to let their guard down and be vulnerable. The husband's addiction becomes a wedge between the couple, an...2023-05-1125 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction91. When the Fear of Another Relapse Is In the Back of Your MindStruggling with pornography addiction can be a difficult road to travel, especially when trying to rebuild trust in a relationship.  Even when progress is made, there's often a fear of slipping back into old habits, which can leave both partners feeling discouraged and defeated.  In this episode, we'll explore how to approach this issue differently, so that you can feel peace and confidence as you make progress towards a healthier, happier life.  We'll discuss how slips and relapses don't come out of nowhere, but are the result of underlying reasons that can be ide...2023-05-0421 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction90. 3 Critical Conversations to Have to Heal Your MarraigePodbean info:   After pornography addiction damage is a marriage, there are three critical conversations to have in order to heal and find closure. So often couples will rehash the past, feel completely overwhelmed or avoid having a difficult conversations for fear of them leading to a fight. In this episode I share with you not only with those three conversations are but how to have them in a productive way. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, pri...2023-05-0121 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction89. The 4 Steps in the Addiction Cycle (Here’s How to Break It)“I’ll just quit tomorrow.” “It’s not that big of a deal if I look at Instagram for a bit.” “I won’t look at full-blown pornography, just a few pictures.” These are the kinds of statements that indicate a man has been triggered into his acting out pattern in pornography addiction, and unless he intervenes and breaks that pattern, it’ll be impossible for him to find the freedom he truly wants at his core. In this episode I share the predictable pattern that men get stuck in and how some specific st...2023-04-2023 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction88. 2 Ways to Increase a Husband’s Compassion and Empathy in MarriageWhen a marriage is impacted by pornography addiction, it causes a lot of damage and pain. One of the most important things in the healing process is having compassion and empathy for a wife who has been impacted, but unfortunately having conversations where there is compassion and empathy can be difficult. It's easy for men to get stuck feeling shame and want to avoid these difficult conversations, but in this episode I share with you 2 specific ways you can approach hard conversations to allow compassion and empathy to naturally flow.  For therapy with Sam: S...2023-04-1422 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction87. How to Properly Disclose a Relapse (and Avoid a Fight)On the path to overcoming a pornography addiction, there are often slips and relapses, and those conversations are painful to have. There is a clear, three-step framework I teach to clients to actually make those conversations feel productive and provide some hope about moving forward together despite the recent slip.  In this episode I share with you exactly how to have that conversation, which can actually bring you closer together if it's done correctly. If it's not done correctly, it will increase the distance, mistrust, and hurt feelings so using this framework can h...2023-04-0620 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction86. 3 Ways To Improve Intimacy After Pornography AddictionSexual intimacy is often times badly damaged after discovering a pornography addiction.  There are fears, feelings of inadequacy, triggers, and painful feeling that go along with intimacy as a result of pornography use. In this episode I'll share with you three ways you can improve your intimacy, how to handle triggers, and ways to have conversations together that actually are productive and bring some closure and reassurance. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here...2023-03-3024 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction85. 3 Tools to Overcome Feelings of UnworthinessWhen overcoming a pornography addiction, many men experience feelings of unworthiness or some version of feeling not good enough, failure, bad, or defective.  Very often, a wife will experience unworthiness and not feeling good enough as a result of her husband’s addiction. Overcoming feelings of unworthiness is such a critical part of the healing process for people because these painful emotions often lead to a relapse, which fuels more feelings of unworthiness. In this episode I deep dive into three specific strategies you can use to help change this negative belief so you can fee...2023-03-2327 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction84. These Types of Boundaries Can Unintentionally Hurt Your MarriageCreating boundaries in a marriage that's been affected by pornography addiction is a very common solution that offered.  I found that there are certain types of boundaries and the timing they are implemented can cause a detrimental effect on the health of a marriage unintentionally.  In this episode I share some principles to guide you as you are determining what boundaries to put in place and for how long you want them, and instead what to really be focusing on that get For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get mo...2023-03-0928 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction83. How to Identify the Root Cause of Your Pornography AddictionWhen a man struggles with a pornography addiction, identifying the root cause in resolving it on that level is the most effective way to help him change and overcome the addiction. Without knowing what’s driving the addiction, and addressing the underlying problems, all of the traditional responses or coping strategies, like exercise, journaling, mindfulness, etc. won’t help somebody heal on a deeper level. In this episode, I share with you the exact framework I use to help people identify their root cause issues so you can listen to this and know how to find...2023-03-0324 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction82. When She Feels Lots of Anger and ResentmentAfter there has been betrayal in a relationship due to a pornography addiction, it’s very common for a wife to experience a lot of anger and resentment.  There are 3 things that a husband can do to defuse and calm her anger in a way that helps her feel understood and comforted. In this episode, I share with you some powerful ways to approach the situation so a husband and wife can work together towards finding a resolution and ultimately healing their marriage and rebuilding trust.  For therapy with Sam: Send an emai...2023-02-2430 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction81. 3 Tools to Bounce Back Effectively After a RelapseRelapses can be extremely discouraging both for the husband who is trying to overcome pornography, addiction, and for his wife.  In this episode, I share three specific things that you can do as a husband after a relapse in order to get back on track, effectively reengage in the process, and ultimately become more successful in avoiding slips in the future.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and suppor...2023-02-1917 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction80. How to Avoid Slipping From Stress TriggersStress is a very common triggers for men to slip back into their pornography addiction.  The problem is that stress never goes away in life. So if you don't know how to process it differently, it's going to make it really hard to find freedom from pornography addiction if you've been using it to cope with stress. The new science on stress can help you avoid slips by understanding it and knowing how to approach it differently. Check out this episode where I share with you a different approach to dealing w...2023-02-0920 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction79. Codependency and Self EsteemCodependency is often used by people in a negative way and is often such a big stumbling block to creating the type of security, connection, and fulfillment in their marriage. The reality is that having a secure and loving connection in a relationship is one of our biggest resources and in today’s episode, I will break down exactly how to leverage our inborn longings for a strong relationship and how it increases our self esteem, confidence, emotional and mental well-being, and decreases depression and anxiety. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to...2023-02-0328 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction78. 5 MUSTS to Heal Your Marriage This YearSo many couples I work with has been struggling for many years to heal from the impact of pornography addiction, and the betrayal it causes.  After having worked with couples for over a decade, there are five things that successful couples have in common. In this episode, I share with you those five things that can help you know what to focus on to have a completely different marriage in 2023.  It’s important that there is effort and attention, given to nurture the relationship, but knowing exactly what activities to focus on, will spee...2023-01-2433 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction77. 5 MUSTS to Overcome Pornography Addiction Within 90 DaysEliminating your pornography addiction in 2023 would be a dream come true (literally) for so many men who are struggling. In this episode, I share with you the 5 things you need to do in order to make that a reality. Instead of spending 3-5 years fighting against the triggers and temptations, follow the blueprint in this episode for rapid success by dealing with the core of the issue and getting the right tools. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Fa...2023-01-0925 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction4 Pillars of Communication That Work in Any RelationshipPodbean info: Often times, couples get stuck in the same old arguments and fights, but there is a better way!  On this new podcast episode, I sit down with expert therapist, Tony Overbay, where we we discuss his 4 pillars of successful communication and how to effectively problem-solve without fighting.  Listen and learn how to speak to your spouse in a way that is heard and understood, and most importantly, how to create a healthy relationship dynamic with your partner.  You can find more resources, podcasts, trainings and workshops by Tony if you...2022-12-2954 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow to Heal Individually and In Your Marriage Faster (and More Thoroughly)Overcoming a pornography addiction and repairing a relationship can feel overwhelming and impossible at times. So often people try their very best, but are unable to achieve the results they are hoping for. Instead of doing more, in this podcast episode, I share with you a much more effective approach that actually requires less effort and intensity while actually bringing greater results.  So if you’re tired of being on the same roller coaster for years, check out this episode two discover how to get off the painful ride.  For therapy with Sam: ...2022-12-2217 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe #1 Factor Between Healthy and Unhealthy CouplesAnnouncement! I created a free, private Facebook group for men who want to find freedom from pornography and have a strong marriage. Each week, I host a live training on topics like how to effectively overcome temptations and triggers, relapse prevention, finding relief from guilt and shame, reclaiming your self worth, rebuilding trust and connection in your marriage, and how to avoid fights and relationship problems (without needing 12-step, filters on your electronics, therapy for years, and willpower). You can join the free Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit 2022-12-1622 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionInstead of Guilt and Shame to Avoid Slips, Do This InsteadWhen a man struggles with the pornography addiction, it’s very easy for him to spiral into shame and guilt, which unintentionally can set him back up for another relapse. In this episode, I share with you some very important research about how much more effective response to mistakes or slips to help propel you forward on the path of being successful. Self-compassion is often confused with self-licensing, and in the episode, I talk about how a husband can respond to himself in a compassionate way, which reinforces his commitment to overcoming his addiction.  I...2022-12-0824 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow She Can Feel More Comfortable Bringing Her Wall DownIt can be very difficult for a woman to bring her wall down and decide to trust her husband again after there’s been damage due to a pornography addiction or infidelity. One of the scariest things for her is the possibility of getting hurt again by her husband if he relapses, so it’s easy to keep the guard up. The problem is that the more protected she is behind the wall, progress in the relationship can be negatively impacted.  In this episode, I talk about ways to more comfortably bring the wall down, and h...2022-12-0124 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhen Conversations Break Down Because She Doesn’t Believe HimWhen there’s a lack of trust in the relationship due to a pornography addiction, it can be hard for a wife to believe what her husband is saying. So often, there is an impasse in the conversations they have where she feels stuck and he’s not able to move forward because she doesn’t believe him. In this episode I share with you a framework they can help you navigate those tough conversations and difficult moments in order to move forward together and better understand each other. For therapy with Sam: Se...2022-11-1926 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionKey Advice For Breaking Free From Self Criticism and JudgementMost men who are struggling with pornography addiction are really hard on themselves – they see themselves as bad people, unworthy, broken, or failures. The more somebody is self critical, the more it sets them up to fall right back into the addiction as a way to cope from the pain. This episode reveals one of the most powerful tools to help change how you see yourself, and stop the self shaming that, contributes to depression, anxiety, and other painful emotions. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam...2022-11-1222 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhat Does a Neuroscientist Report about Pornography and the Brain? (No Judgement)Does pornography affect the brain neurochemistry? They are finally starting to come out with studies and do research on the impact of pornography has on the brain, and their findings are so important so people can better understand the effects it has.  Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford, shared some important findings in some recent interviews, and in this episode of the podcast, I share with you, some of the takeaways, and how you can apply the latest neuroscience to help you overcome addiction and heal your relationship.  For therapy with Sam:2022-10-2030 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWould He Have Ever Changed If He Didn’t Get Caught?So often a wife will wonder if her husband would have ever changed and stopped watching pornography if she didn’t catch him. Most of the time the husband starts taking real action after he’s found out, which can be frustrating and hurtful for a wife. In this episode, I answer the question about whether or not, he would have changed and give you some tools to know how to approach the situation in a way that he actually can change so that you can avoid repeated disclosures and discoveries about the same pattern.   For t...2022-10-1425 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionTools to Handle It When Triggers to Act Out Won’t LeaveTriggers and urges for pornography can be completely overwhelming for husbands who are on this journey. There is often a real struggle when the thought to act out surfaces, despite their desire to avoid temptation and relapse.  It’s almost like something outside of them is trying to pull them back into old patterns, and one of the main tools that husbands often use to overcome these triggers, and Temptations is just by trying to willpower their way through, but ultimately will power is a muscle that fatigues and they end up returning to the addiction, despite the...2022-10-0620 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhen He Can’t Answer Her Question ‘Why Did You Do This?’When there has been betrayal due to a pornography addiction, a woman will often ask her husband why he did, how he could have hurt her like that, why didn’t he consider her or the family, etc. There’s one main reason why oftentimes these discussions lead to frustration, defensiveness, and disconnection, and without addressing it the conversations will continue to go nowhere and leave you feeling hopeless and loss. In this episode I discuss how to navigate that conversation in a way that brings closure and understanding so that you can move forward feel...2022-09-2920 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionShe Said He Knew Pornography Hurts Her But Did It AnywaysSo often a wife will have a conversation with her husband about how much pain his watching pornography causes her. he said is that he will stop the behavior, but then months or years later it’s discovered that he never stopped after all.  She feels hurt and betrayed because she explained how much she is affected by it, yet he continued to watch it despite the conversation. In this episode I talk about how to navigate that situation and how to work through the pain and find healing so that he ultimately can stop the...2022-09-2227 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhat Happens if a Wife Becomes ’Addicted’ to the Trauma of Betrayal, and How You Can Move Forward - Part 2 with Jolene WynnAfter there’s been betrayal due to a pornography addiction, it can be very difficult to feel secure and safe in the relationship. And a lot of women find themselves feeling stuck and can’t get out of the pain regardless of what her husband does. In this episode, we discuss what a wife needs to do in order to find freedom and work through the betrayal, how a husband can help participate in the healing, and ultimately what needs to happen for trust to be rebuilt. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here...2022-08-2938 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionStrategies for Healing When Even His Presence Triggers HerWhen a woman feels betrayal after discovering her husband's pornography addiction, EVERYTHING can feel like a trigger, even him. He reminds her of his actions and the pain he's caused, yet he can also be a source of comfort at the same time. The push/pull of wanting him close for comfort, but also feeling such intense anger and disgust at the same time can be overwhelming and confusing. In this episode, I discuss tools to approach this situation and how a couple can move forward through those moments and ultimately make it so he...2022-08-1625 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhen A Wife’s Best Efforts Aren’t Good EnoughSo many women struggle feeling like what they are doing isn't enough.. If she was more sexual, thinner, didn't criticize, easy-going, etc., then he wouldn't act out. In this episode, I share what can be doing to address this dynamic, and what needs to happen for there to be lasting changes to the addiction. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the...2022-07-2222 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhen Pornography Addiction Escalates to Sex Addiction and How to Overcome ItWhen a man struggles with pornography addiction, sometimes the behaviors escalate into physical acting out. When a man struggles with sex addiction, there is a very specific reason why, and in this episode we talk about sex addiction, the root cause of it, and how to overcome it. It's important to recognize that the core of the addiction ISN'T because of a lack of sex or affection from their partner, and in this episode we'll help you identify what it is so you properly address it and overcome it. For therapy with Sam: Send...2022-07-0328 minMan Within PodcastMan Within Podcast300 - Sam Tielemans on Rebuilding Trust After Porn, Why Marriages Still Struggle After The Husband Gets Free, and How To Forgive YourselfSam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of pornography addiction in their relationship. After working with couples for over a decade, he has developed an approach to help couples restore their marriage, rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy after betrayal.  In this in-depth interview, Sam and Sathiya discuss the necessary elements for restoring a relationship after porn addiction. Sam explains why getting free of porn is never enough, what women really want in the recovery process, and the nuts and bolts of handling these conversations throughout t...2022-06-0955 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe Key to Creating Security in Your Marriage After Pornography AddictionAfter the impact of pornography addiction, he creates a lot of insecurity, lack of trust and hopelessness. So many couples feel stuck because they don’t have a strong foundation or security in their relationship that helps them move forward and leaving the past behind.  Creating security and stability is one of the most important steps In the process of healing because if you don’t have a solid foundation, then every little disconnect is amplified because it stacks up on top of everything else that feels unresolved.  In this episode, I share with y...2022-05-2321 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionFastest Method to Resolving Any Argument Before It EscalatesAfter pornography addiction has damaged a relationship, arguments and fights can escalate very quickly. 
 The reason is because there is so much intensity and hurt under the surface that it doesn’t take much to trigger everything.  When couples don’t know exactly how to resolve issues from the past so there is closure and the chance to move on, arguments happen more frequently. In this episode I share the fastest way to slow down the storm of a fight, focus on the core reason why it’s happening and communicate with each other in...2022-05-1018 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe 90-Day Blueprint to Heal Your Marriage After Pornography AddictionRestoring the trust, connection, and love in your marriage is possible after pornography addiction has caused hurt and betrayal. Once couples know exactly what to do and what the steps are, they can start to find relief from the pain in a single conversation. Those conversations need to be followed up with more action, consistency, and continued conversations for healing, but you can get the tools and direction you need in just 90 days and continue to implement them long after a course or program is finished. In this episode, I break down the stepping stones...2022-04-2229 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe 90-Day Blueprint to Overcome Pornography AddictionIs it possible to overcome pornography addiction in just 90 days? With the right tools and approach it is. Listen to this episode to discover the exact blueprint and approach to finding freedom.  In this episode, I break down the most overlooked element in the healing process, which keeps people stuck for years spinning their wheels and feeling discouraged.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in...2022-03-2629 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionA Couples Success Story: 3 Key Tools That Saved Their Marriage From DivorceThe road to healing a marriage can feel hopeless and overwhelming, so I brought on a couple, John and Ann, who went from separation and almost divorcing twice to now feeling more connected and secure together than ever. They share their struggles of trying to overcome the impact of a pornography addiction, what specific things helped them the most, how they could grow closer together in their marriage, and the most effective thing that he did to help her with her triggers. Instead of getting stuck in old cycles of defensiveness, frustration, and avoidance, they...2022-02-2542 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionOvercome Shame, Guilt, and Regret with Sathiya SamWhen a man struggles with a pornography addiction, he often feels shame, guilt, and regret because of his decisions.  In order to find freedom, working through these negative emotions is critical.  Today’s episode I have Sathiya, a man who is overcome pornography addiction himself and now helps other men find freedom as well, and he shares his approach for overcoming these negative emotions, finding forgiveness of self, and ultimately achieving freedom from addiction.  You can find more information about Sathiya, along with his new book here: https://www.sathiyasam.com/   ...2022-02-1029 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe Key to Overcome Pornography Addiction Without 12-Step, Accountability Partners, or Filters on DevicesTraditional pornography addiction recovery typically takes 3-5 years, according to established therapists in the industry. The problem is that most people don’t want to spend that long fighting such an exhausting battle. The problem with the traditional way of overcoming porn addiction is that it’s centered on managing the symptoms instead of resolving the core issue. Things like group attendance, accountability, filters, using willpower to fight urges, all of these old methods are ineffective and eliminating the root of addiction. In this episode I share with you the most important thing you need to a...2022-01-2720 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe Traditional Way of Seeing Addiction Can Harm You – Try This InsteadIn the traditional way of overcoming addiction and restoring a marriage, the husbands is often seen as the bad guy. The message is that he is the problem, there’s something wrong with him, he’s in a one-down position and is less-than. When he gets that message, he often feels discouraged, not good enough, and always in the hole, never able to heal and move forward. His wife often feels disconnected from him, very unsafe, and unable to bring her wall down. There’s a much more empowering and effective way to see pornography addict...2022-01-1025 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionStruggling With Self-Worth? Here Are Some Powerful Tools to HelpSo many people struggle with feeling low self-worth and the depression / anxiety that accompanies it.  In this episode I share some powerful strategies to help you increase your self-worth and how to experience feeling more love for yourself.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and be...2021-12-2432 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe Best Response to Increase Connection and Safety When She‘s TriggeredSo many women I work tell me that almost everything can be a trigger – the movies, tv shows, going out to eat, women in the grocery story, billboards, you name it.  It’s overwhelming to constantly feel on guard and anxious because any of these triggers sends her into fear and uncertainty, and sadly, so often their husbands don’t know how to respond to help her. In this episode I share one of the most common triggers that women experience and exactly how to diffuse it, and how her husband can help in the process...2021-12-1726 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionEverything is Always My FaultWhen people are working through the process of overcoming pornography addiction, healing from betrayal trauma, and restoring their marriage, there are obviously ups and downs. It’s easy for couple to fall back into old patterns of arguments and fighting, lack of trust, and issues with their sexual relationship, so in this episode I shared the strategy and approach to addressing these three common situations that are barriers to creating a fulfilling relationship.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free...2021-12-0326 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow to Quickly Diffuse a Fight Before It Even BeginsWhen working to repair your relationship after the effects of porn addiction, learning how to stop fights and diffuse them is critical. The more couples fight, the more alone and disconnected they feel, and if you don’t know how to effectively come back together, the relationship continues to suffer. In this episode I share exactly how to diffuse a fight (every time) and prevent things from escalating. Learning this one skill will help you not only have a strong relationship together, but will open the door to resolving each of the problems that you experience in yo...2021-11-1827 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionIf You Can‘t Deeply Feel God‘s or Your Spouse‘s Love, Here‘s What Helped MeI was a teenager and had a hard time feeling love - from family, friends, and from God. I believed they loved me, I knew intellectually they did, but I had a hard time feeling it. For many people I work with who are affected by a pornography addiction, they have a hard time feeling and experiencing love because they don't feel worthy, have low self-esteem, or have a hard time feeling in general. In this episode, I share exactly how to increase your ability to feel love so you can more fully feel satisfaction...2021-11-0428 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow to Get Over the Past Without Sweeping It Under the RugIf the past continues to be brought up, it means that it's not fully resolved. Unless you address the hurt in the proper way, it's likely to continue to fester and resurface. In this episode, I share the specific framework to help couples resolve hurts so they can leave the past behind them without sweeping it under the rug. As men are learning how to stop watching porn, healing the damage from the past is a critical step in the progress of the marriage and being able to move forward with closure. 2021-09-2429 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow to Identify Your Triggers for Porn Addiction [Don‘t Miss This Step as You Heal]One of the most critical steps in porn addiction recovery is being able to identify your triggers. Without knowing exactly what's causing the addiction, you're doomed to continue to repeat the pattern over and over. Once you can uncover the core trigger(s), you can then actually resolve them so they don't continue to pull you back towards the addiction, and that is when men experience true freedom. This ultimately helps a man overcome porn addiction for good. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org ...2021-09-1031 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow to Apologize and Repair to Create ClosureWe all are going to get our feelings hurt in a relationship, and in order for a couple to thrive and reconnect, we need to repair the damage done in the right way. In this episode I share with you the steps to apologizing in a way where the past won't continue to be brought up over and over again, and couples can move forward feeling like the incident is resolved. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I...2021-09-0430 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhy People Can’t Follow Through on Breaking Bad Habits or PatternsWhen people have a hard time following through on creating a good habit or breaking a bad one, there's always a reason. In this episode, we dive deeper into the reasons why we don't do the things that we say we want to do, and I share with you some strategies to help you dissolve any blocks or barriers that have prevented you from being successful. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast li...2021-08-2633 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHis Pornography Addiction Just Came Out... What Are The First Steps to Heal?When a pornography addiction first comes out, it can be overwhelming and shocking. So many couples need a place to start and need direction about what steps to take next. The effects of porn addiction in a relationship are far reaching and can be severe when it comes to the trust, connection, and closeness. In this episode I share a framework and an overview with examples about what steps you can take in the beginning to start the healing process right away instead of spinning your wheels and feeling stuck. For therapy with...2021-08-2129 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCan Sex With a Spouse Trigger the Pornography Addiction?When it comes to bringing sex back into the relationship, one of the main questions that people have is “will that trigger him back into the addiction?” If men struggle with a porn addiction or a sex addiction, it can be difficult for a wife to feel comfortable with intimacy. There are a lot of fears and reservations when it comes to sexual intimacy because of the damage that is done in that area of the relationship by the addiction. In this episode I share how are you can know when the time is right to b...2021-08-1424 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography Addiction2 Key Indicators It’s Safe to Trust AgainWhen trust is damaged because of pornography addiction or lying, it's hard to know when it's safe to open up and trust again. Knowing what to look for will help you to measure whether or not there's progress being made, and it helps him to know where to spend his energy in the rebuilding phase and gaining her trust back. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coup...2021-08-0632 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhat If I Am Falling Out of Love With My Spouse?Sometimes people start to lose the love they have for their spouse, especially as pornography addiction and betrayal trauma negatively affect the relationship.  The good news is that if you know how to create, shape, and reignite love, you can rekindle it regardless of how long you've been together and even if you've gone through lots of rough patches. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org a...2021-07-3130 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe Key Components to Her Healing From Betrayal Trauma and Beginning to Trust AgainThe road to overcome porn addiction and rebuilding your marriage can feel long and painful. The sting of betrayal and the web of the addiction can cause people to lose hope and sight of a better future. I’m joined in this episode by TC Jolley, who is a strong woman who healed from betrayal trauma as a result of her husband’s addiction. Their marriage is strong and connected, and they are individually in a solid place, and she shares some of the key factors that allowed her to thrive and heal individually and in t...2021-07-2330 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionMy Intentions Are Good But I Struggle to Consistently Follow ThroughWhen people want to make changes in their lives, create new habits, routines or put systems in place, but it can be hard to be consistent! In this episode I share some strategies that can help you to be successful as you create habits and get them to stick, without needing willpower or superhuman discipline. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the...2021-07-1629 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionIf Her Wall Stays Up Despite His Best EffortsWhen a woman experiences betrayal in a relationship due to porn addiction, it’s normal for her wall to go up to protect herself.  Without there being safety or security in the relationship, she protects herself from continued hurt and being impacted by the addiction and dishonesty. Sometimes women aren’t quite sure how to let the wall down and what indicators she should look for, and despite his best efforts, it feels like the relationship hits a plateau and doesn’t know what to do. In this episode, I share one of the mos...2021-07-0828 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow to Resolve Her Fears That Prevent Affection and SexSo often a woman feels reluctance to be affectionate or have sex after there’s been betrayal due to pornography addiction or infidelity. She protects herself from getting hurt even more, so her guard is up. In order to help her work through her fears, men first need to understand what they are and then know how to help support her so she can start to feel safe enough to open back up. Discover the conversations you can have together that will help you come together and know how to reintegrate affection and sex when th...2021-07-0131 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionA Powerful Tool to Process Through Addiction or Trauma Triggers SuccessfullyTriggers can hit us seemingly from out of nowhere, but using this tool can help you to identify and process through them successfully. Whether it has to do with a pornography addiction trigger, trauma trigger, or anything else that creates stress, overwhelm or anger. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and...2021-06-2430 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHow to Talk About Sexual or Addiction Triggers Without FightingOftentimes, a big part of the check-in conversation revolves around whether he was triggered to watch porn or not.. The problem is that if he was triggered that day, her hearing about it can cause a negative reaction and feel like it undermines the progress that he/they are making. But transparency is important and opening up when he is struggling is necessary, so in this episode I share with you exactly how to talk about triggers in a way that helps her to feel safe and build trust, instead of these discussions spiraling into...2021-06-1023 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionA Highly-Effective Way to Get Through Overwhelming MomentsHealing from porn addiction and betrayal trauma can have overwhelming moments that can feel dark and lonely. But there is hope if you have one particular resource or tool to help you through those moments. In this episode I share with you the #1 tool to navigate moments that knock you down, so you can find the strength and hope to collect yourself and keep moving forward. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my po...2021-06-0322 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionHis Sex Drive: When It‘s Healthy vs Addiction DrivenHow do you know if his desire for sex is rooted in pornography addiction or if it’s coming from a healthy place? Knowing this makes all the difference when it comes to reintegrating sex back into the relationship when the time is right. In this episode I share with you the #1 distinguishing factor and how you can use this tool to continue to make progress in overcoming the addiction or building the relationship. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want acce...2021-05-2722 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionIs Minimal Effort Being Put In or Are Expectations Too High?Sometimes couples reach a stalemate when she thinks he's not doing enough to work on his pornography addiction and if he feels like no matter what he does it'll never be enough. There are a few different reasons why we see things like this, and in this episode I'll share with you what each person can do about it to keep making progress without these discussions resulting in a fight. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I...2021-05-2030 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionWhat to Do When Lying Erodes A Relationship: Tools For Both Him and Her)Whenever there is a struggle with porn addiction, there's often dishonesty. And that is one of the most damaging elements to a marriage, but if you are going to eliminate it completely, you must understand the reason why it's continuing to happen. Lying is a symptom of something deeper, and once you discover it and get the tools to resolve it, the dishonesty goes away. In this episode I share with you some tools for both him and her in order to remove any blocks that make being honest difficult. For therapy from...2021-05-1322 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionThe 5 Pillars to Overcome Pornography Addiction: How To Know If He‘ll Actually Be SuccessfulThe road to healing can feel completely overwhelming, so I wanted to break down the process to overcome pornography addiction into just 5 steps. If you focus on these core components, then you'll achieve lasting freedom from porn addiction, and your relationship can heal and flourish. For therapy from Sam, send an email here for more information: sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and...2021-05-0629 minCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing From Pornography AddictionCouples Healing TrailerDo you want to find stability and direction amidst the chaos of a pornography addiction and the trauma it creates? Most people struggle for years not knowing how to overcome addiction, repair the damage it does in a relationship, and finally move forward with this problem behind them. Instead of relying on old traditional approaches with a 90-95% failure rate, this podcast will give you the most cutting-edge tools to help you through each stage of the process of healing. Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Sam Tielemans, as he shares some of...2020-12-1702 min