Shows
Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaHibo Wardere: Transforming the Trauma of FGM into ActionIn this final episode of the series, we interview Hibo Wardere, author of Cut - a memoir of her own experience of FGM at the hands of her family as a six-year-old child and her subsequent journey with the trauma of that experience. TRIGGER WARNING: detailed description of the female genital mutilation and vaginal cutting of childrenHibo is a committed campaigner against FGM, both in the UK and all over the world. Hibo speaks openly about her experience, the trauma, betrayal and pain of being cut and its impact on her relationship with her f...
2021-11-281h 03Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaA Little Bit About FearWe talk about fear and how to metabolise it, reframe it and live alongside. We also touch on the system we live on, the film 'The Father' about the system we live in and Sammy does a mighty job of reading a poem (copied below). These are exciting times to be alive. Enjoy!Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_MeaningIf This is a Man, Primo Levi: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/275630.If_This_Is_a_Man?from_search=t...
2021-11-2839 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaMidsommar, Narcissism and How Cults Capitalise on LonelinessThe dark masterpiece Midsommar is the topic of this excitable episode. Ari Aster's 2019 movie is a multi-layered study of narcissistic behaviour – overt, covert, blatant and so slick and sophisticated you'll get a warm glow while it's happening. We look at how the film showcases gaslighting and codependence in relationships and in cults and how they isolate people using intense love, nurture and seeming acceptance. And we delve into how the film not only shows brainwashing, but practices it, drawing us in and giving us the warm and fuzzies at the most manipulative of moments. It's full of SPOI...
2021-11-2854 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaThe Work of Byron Katie - is it miraculous, dangerous or somewhere between and can you use it with narcissistic abuseWe take a dive into Byron Katie, her four-question format for living in the present and the criticisms. Is 'the work' dangerous - is it traumatising victim-blaming? Could it persuade abused people to take responsibility for the abuse they have experienced (or are experiencing)?We discuss Jude's experience of working with Byron Katie on a live call and our joint experience of trying to do the process together. Loving What Is https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/9762.Loving_What_Iswww.thework.com: the Byron Katie website where you can download worksheets, g...
2021-11-1458 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaVictim-blaming, Gaslighting and Radical Personal ResponsibilityThis week, we talk about how victim-blaming, gaslighting and personal radical responsibility relate to each other. It's fair to say that we take a few detours on the way there - fruitful ones, we hope - and that we have no slick answers to any of our questions. There are a few blips and bumps and scratchy noises on this recording. Soz.TRIGGER WARNINGS: We mention/discuss domestic abuse, sexual abuse in ways that some people may find triggering (but without descriptive detail).Homecoming - Reclaiming and Healing your Inner Child by John B...
2021-10-3157 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaThe Self Care ConundrumIn this episode, we talk about self care. Not the expensive spa and luxury face mask kind, which makes both of us a little bit sick in our mouths, but the real, sometimes uncomfortable, boundary-setting kind, or the kind of self-care that sees you resist an enticing addictive pattern or get enough sleep. We talk addiction, dopamine hits, epigenetic trauma passed down through generations, and lots, lots more (just look at the list of resources). As is often the case with home studios, there are banging noises from neighbours and an occasional kitten. It was recorded in F...
2021-10-241h 03
Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaDisclosure, Supporting Friends and Clare's LawThis episode deals with important questions such as 'how do you support someone who's in the grip of addiction to a substance or abusive person?' and 'should you warn someone if you have experienced abuse at the hands of somebody they're involved with?' We also discuss Clare's Law, where you can request information on any person of concern to discover whether they have a police record of abuse against women. It's a rich one that covers lots of topics. There's enough links to background material in this one to keep you busy for a...
2021-10-1750 min
Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaThe Guru Factor - Narcissism in Spiritual CommunitiesInspired by Holy Hell, the fascinating documentary by Will Allen, we spend this episode talking about the guru factor, and about the film itself. What makes spiritual communities of seekers such fertile ground for narcissistic abuse? What are the red flags to watch out? As always, we also touch on our own experiences of this kind of abuse. It's a juicy one. Please note that there are moments when the sound quality is compromised and there's some weird banging in the background. We hope you enjoy the episode anyway. As always, there's a level of humour despite a...
2021-10-1052 min
Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaThe 12 Steps of ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families)In this juicy episode, Sammy interviews Jude about her personal experience of the 12-step program Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA). As it was originally a provision for Alateens who'd got too old to continue but still suffered the effects of their dysfunctional childhoods, the name still has 'alcoholics' in the title. In fact, it's a program for anyone whose childhood abandonment/neglect - whether caused by addiction, abuse, shaming, religious or militaristic strictness among other things - prevents them from enjoying their adult lives to the full. We address some of the fears we exp...
2021-10-0358 min
Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaSeries 2 Take 2: Here We go AgainThis week, we get honest about the process we've been through between Series 1 and Series 2, our dance with our own addictions and blind spots and how our projections onto other people always have their roots in our own bellies. There are dirty potatoes, a fair amount of inadvertent cackling and information about the shape of episodes to come. Byron Katie's work is available on her YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8dvufocK9zM6KnkronGbzALink to Sammy's You Tube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTDyKjEoa7HPHNQet7fsk2QEma...
2021-09-2646 min
Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaSeries 2 Episode 1 Kinder OracleThis is a reintroduction to the new series and we’re doing Kinder oracles! If you don’t know what that is, listen up - it’s an absolute joy! We talk a little bit about a pragmatic interpretation of divination as a whole.We’ll be publishing a new episode every week, many of which we recorded back in February this year, covering topics from supporting friends in abusive relationships (and looking after yourself) to how narcissistic leaders are rife in spiritual communities. We’ll touch on Clare’s Law, 12-step programs, self-care and much more. As always, there's a balance of...
2021-09-2243 min
Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaPast Imperfect: RegenerationYup, this is a short one. It's more an update than an episode, but it's just as heartfelt as all the others, so have a listen and watch this space. With love from both of us.
Email us at pastimperfectpodcast@gmail.com. If you'd like to subscribe to our blog and episode notification, please say this and we'll add you.
Resources Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program by Melanie Tonia Evans. Sign up for her Gold Membership narcissistic abuse recovery program here https://bit.ly/3g5g0gl
Adult Children of...
2020-08-2418 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaSeries 2 TrailerA hello from Sammy and Jude, a little snippet of an update and a taster of things to come.
Series 2 launches with our next episode on Sunday 23rd August at 11:11
Looking forward to more deep conversations. 'See you' there.
Music: New Dawn by Ruth Blake. Listen to her music at www.ruthblake.com
Logo image based on Psychopomp by Hollie Chastain. Check out her art and amazing collage book at www.holliechastain.com
Logo design @ebz_agg
2020-08-1609 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 11: Goodbye, Series 1, Hello, Series 2! The path from there to hereWe round off the first series of Past Imperfect, looking back over the topics we've covered and the shifts that have happened, and forward to the feast of topics for series 2.
Some of our ponderings this week include narcissism, ways to see fear, parenting, intrinsic validation and transforming your future by changing your relationship with past events.
What's the difference between reactivity and responsiveness? How do you turn every trigger into an opportunity to release old patterns and navigate new ways to be? What's scarier: public speaking or having a bath at a friend's house?
In series two, we'll be talki...
2020-08-0255 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 10: Sue Holmes on recovered memories and her journey as the wounded healer.Multifariously talented* shamanic healer and teacher Sue Holmes talks to us about memories recovered late in life and, once she'd recovered conscious awareness of it, how she did her own healing, integrated different parts of herself and left victim feelings behind.
How do you handle abuses of power within spiritual communities, and what does it take to speak up? We discuss what can happen when you expose the shadow side of your own community, and the importance of working on your own shadow, whether your community embraces or rejects it. *Sue's many past and present...
2020-07-2652 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 9: From a Norm of Depression to a Bedrock of Self-Love and Happiness, with Joanna Jane DelvesDo you think of depression as an abnormality or a natural state of being? Has self-loathing become so familiar that it's become a norm?
This week we welcome our first guest, the gentle and brilliant Joanna Jane Delves, the queen of taking gentle responsibility for your own feelings, and doing the work. She explains her own process of healing herself from deep grief and childhood trauma, talks us through the inner child and shadow work she uses and shares some of the techniques and practices that have helped her.
She talks...
2020-07-1958 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 7: Trauma and the BodyHow does trauma affect your brain and your body? What’s the impact if your primary caregivers are not attuned to your needs as a baby? Can unexpressed emotion cause pain in your body?
We weave our way through different theories of what trauma is, how it affects you physiologically and what you can do about it. We also explore the benefits of approaching your own trauma indirectly.
Trigger warning: we discuss different forms of abuse and manipulation in this podcast. If you may be triggered by these topics, please make su...
2020-07-1359 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 8: Working with Trauma in the BodyThis week we explore how to work with the manifestations of trauma in your body, and coming out of your head and into your body, and doing what you love as a rich way of healing yourself.
We talk about different forms of therapy for treating trauma in the body. Check out Peter Levine, a leading light in trauma therapy and a very nice man. We talk titratation - releasing trauma responses bit by bit - and pendulation - moving back and forth between resourced experiences and touching on traumatised parts of yourself in...
2020-07-121h 22Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 6: What Does Narcisstic Abuse Feel LikeMany people have no idea that they're being manipulated, groomed and abused by someone high on the narcissistic spectrum. Sometimes, it takes years - or decades - before they realise. Why wait that long? In this episode, we talk about narcissistic abuse: what it looks like, how it feels and what you can do about it. We explore gaslighting and confusion, the idealise/devalue/discard cycle, triangulation and isolation, and gifts that take away your power and leave you feeling confused and frustrated. And we take a few tangents too. Trigger warning: we discuss different forms of...
2020-06-281h 11Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 5: Alcohol, Addiction and Recovery (or 'The One about Booze')This week, we wind a happy dance around the topics of alcohol addiction, addictive behaviours and recovery. We discuss AA and other fellowships as well as other options for getting support in freeing yourself from addiction. As always, there are tangents, personal stories and some swearing. There will also be triggers, this week around addiction and there's a brief mention of sexual assault, so please make sure you are fully resourced if you may be triggered.
This week is resource-tastic. Fill your Actual Boots. There’s a lot of help out there, and different people resonate wi...
2020-06-211h 03Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 4: All Things NarcissismNarcissism is in the spotlight this week. What is it, what are some key signs of it and why is it a problem? What does it feel like to be with a narcissist and what are the differences between narcissim, sociopathy and psychopathy? Do people with high narcissistic traits know what they're doing? And, importantly, how do you break free?
We share our personal experiences and the opinions of lots of experts. The only question this episode doesn't answer is: is it wrong that we're both so excited to talk about it?
Trigger warning: we...
2020-06-1458 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 3: Trauma, its symptoms and taking responisibility for your healingJude and Sammy lose their shit a little bit over getting to talk about their favourite subjects again: trauma, addiction and how to heal them.
This week, as well as exploring what we mean when we talk about trauma and discussing some of the symptoms of it, we unpick the concept of taking responsibility for your own healing (as opposed to taking blame for the traumatising experiences in your life).
Trigger warning: We regularly discuss alcohol addiction, narcissistic abuse and sexual assault/abuse, and ways to heal yourself from experiences that are still causing damage in your system. If you may...
2020-06-0747 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 2: Sammy, what you brought you here?Meet Sammy and find out about the past events that challenged her, shaped her and ultimately enriched her life and find out how she went from being a victim of her situation to taking responsibility for herself and her own healing.
Trigger warning: we discuss alcohol addiction, narcissistic abuse and sexual assault. If you may be triggered by these topics, please make sure you have support or resources in place before you listen. You can also expect a bit of swearing.
The opinions we express here are based on subjective personal experience.
2020-05-311h 01Past Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaEpisode 1: Jude, what brought you here?Sammy interviews Jude about her 'Past Imperfect'.
What brought her here, and how has her past experience challenged and enriched her?
Trigger warning: we discuss alcohol addiction, incest, narcissistic abuse and childhood developmental trauma. If you may be triggered by these topics, please make sure you have support or resources in place before you listen. You can also expect a bit of swearing.
The opinions we express here are based on subjective personal experience. In human relationships, nothing is total, truth is not concrete and perception creates the story of our experience...
2020-05-2453 minPast Imperfect: The Alchemy of Transforming TraumaIntroductory episodeJoin Sammy and Jude in the introductory episode of Past Imperfect to discover their personal take on recovery from trauma, addiction and narcissistic abuse, and for a taste of episodes to come.
Why is it so important to talk about the different ways unresolved trauma manifests in your life? What do we mean when we talk about being responsibe for our own recovery? And what does childhood trauma have in common with a boil on your arse?
Music: New Dawn by Ruth Blake. Listen to her music at www.ruthblake.com
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2020-05-1727 min