Shows
The Wonder YeerksAnimorphs Is Feminism Because Mommy IssuesIt's Animorphs book 49, The Diversion, & we're so enthralled by it that we don't even take note of the episode number.
In addition to changing the whole dang status quo, we discuss: More Blood Pokemon!, Being The Only One On The Way To Work Who Looks Like They Recently Drowned, Rachel Giving Marco A Drunk Stick & Poke, Fuck A Circus, and Hatsune Miku Invented Pasteurisation
Referenced media: That slug is tweeting, the emo song (general cw for mid 2000s edgy ~humour along the lines of homophobia, transphobia, & self-harm jokes), a sharp animal2021-02-091h 21
FearbaitingEvil BongHey man, don't bogart the bowl, we all need to take a hit off the dummy thick bong. Lavender (@LavenderManna) returns today to talk to us about Evil Bong, and also a lot of Haikyuu. It's just par for the course at this point, Sara basically turns every show she's on into a Haikyuu podcast. Anyways, pass that shit dude!!!RECOMMENDATIONS:Robots of the Ancient World - Cosmic RidersSleepless DomainHaikyuu!!Intro/outro music provided by Satah, who makes music as People You Meet Outside of Bars at gaygothvibes.online.Episode edited by Sara...2021-02-0858 minThe Wonder YeerksJellyfish Are Like Not Super Into PoliticsThis was recorded just after our last episode came out four months ago. We have good intentions & I, personally, am doing something close to my best, thank you! Appropriately, it's book 48: The Return.
In addition to rat monarchy, we discuss: I Think I Just Missed You Guys, Tobias Would Identify Too Hard With Anakin, My Podcast Within-A-Podcast Crying About The Skywalkers, Jake's A Serial Killer AU, Jellyfish Are Made Of Good And Lightning
Referenced Media:
Tammany Hall, I Gotta Google Some Things2021-01-181h 10The Wonder YeerksOh Yeah! Uncles!The six months between recording and posting this episode is a reference to the time travel in the book! Don't think about it too hard! We read book 47: The Resistance, which is about a real life war, unfortunately!!
In addition to being xtreeme teene bored, we discuss: A Camp Movie Where They Keep Cutting To Beavers Building A Dam, Doing Crosswords & Getting Into Wordplay, and Brain's A Strawberita2020-09-0450 minFearbaitingBeyond the Black RainbowThe piper has come again, and it's time to pay up! By which I mean, it's time for our quarterly segment on Twilight, and you're just gonna have to sit through Sara and guest Ferris talking about the baseball scene! We also talk about other vampire properties, don't worry. Also, we talk about Beyond the Black Rainbow!RECOMMENDATIONS:DorohedoroUniversal HarvesterIntro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside of bars, for more tunes head over to gaygothvibes.online!2020-08-3154 minFearbaitingDeath Note (2017)Hey, you remember Death Note, right? Sure you do! As did the writers of 2017's film adaptation. They definitely remembered the story, and didn't just pull the back half of it out of their asses to get this movie across the finish line. Our friend Aidan (@NotchTheB) also remembers Death Note and has joined us to remind us all about the true meaning behind Light Yagami - I mean, Turner - and his wacky adventures!RECOMMENDATIONS:BeastarsDark Souls IIIBigTop BurgerIntro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside...2020-08-2451 minFearbaitingRingsEveryone's favorite Cuncle (cat uncle) Blair (@blairkitsch) is back in business, for 2017's hottest...sequel? Remake? We're not really sure what Rings is, aside from extremely bad! We also talk shower coffee, the Big Bang Theory man's acting chops, and how tough it would be to fight a duck-sized Sadako.RECOMMENDATIONS:Welcome to Night ValeSuper Mario SunshineIntro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside of bars, for more tunes head over to gaygothvibes.online!Edited by Sara!2020-08-101h 15FearbaitingMars Attacks!Aliens are scary, right? Especially when they look like all those galaxy brain feels guy memes? Well, Mars Attacks! scared our guest Kay as a kid, so it passes the bar! We talk a little bit about Austin Powers, lament the animals that perish at the hands of these nasty guys from space, and talk about their terrible attempt at making a furry.Listen to Kay's podcast, A Song of Babys and Puppys, here!RECOMMENDATIONS:Adopting an anime boy and making him your new sonPretzel LogicIntro/outro music by Satah who makes...2020-08-031h 22FearbaitingJason Goes to Hell: The Final FridayGet ready to descend into the depths of Hell with us this week!!!!!! ... Eventually, whenever this week's movie decides to bring us there. Well, in the meantime, why don't you pull up a chair and listen to Sara and guest Scout (@cybernetiques) talk about this week's film, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday? Scout, a long time Jason stan, will help lead us through the weirdness of the franchise as well as the weirdness of this movie in general, from euphemistic llamas to towel logistics to, of course, horny moralism.RECOMMENDATIONS:Fire Emblem: Three HousesBloodborneDeca-Dence2020-07-291h 08FearbaitingUnfriended: Dark WebFearbaiting is the number one hacker podcast in the world, and as such we've drilled into the mainframe of your phone or computer or whatever you're listening to this on. Using our cool hacker skills, we've covertly planted this episode about Unfriended: Dark Web featuring friend of the podcast Maxie (@MaxieSatan) into your podcatcher, so now you have no choice but to listen to us talk about our cool bitcoin knowledge, our great british accents, and our opinions on how this movie definitely should've been, like, five other better movies.RECOMMENDATIONSunset OverdriveBug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling2020-07-141h 14FearbaitingDaniel Isn't RealWell, we're back, but unfortunately we're also entirely imaginary. You made the whole podcast up! All in your brain! But I gotta say: you imagined a banger episode this week. Friend of the show Val (@flightcubb) joined us to talk about Daniel Isn't Real, which is a surprisingly on-topic movie to have watched for this very imaginary episode. We also make a way, way better version of baseball - enjoy!RECOMMENDATIONS:Unraveled 2Dicey DungeonsIntro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside of bars, for more tunes head...2020-06-291h 12FearbaitingPan's LabyrinthThis week, your hosts explore once again how far they can stretch the genre of horror as Sara brings Quinn (@GirlDickEnergy) on to talk about Pan's Labyrinth! Topics include: A several minute long One Piece diversion, side quests for gender, forbidden grapes, bus logic, and MORE!RECOMMENDATIONS:Magic: the Gathering Arena, Getting highThe original Super Mario Bros.Theme music thanks to Satah, you can find more of their work under people you meet outside of bars.Editing done by Blair Kitsch, who you can find hiding in the bottom drawer of your dresser.2020-06-151h 11FearbaitingThe Conjuring 2It's time to pour out a bottle of snake oil for some real ones this week, folks, as Sara and Elliott (@kaibaliker) open another chapter on the king and queen of grifting themselves, Ed and Lorraine Warren with The Conjuring 2! Dive headlong with us as we explore a world of Peggys, being cancelled for defending fictional billionaires, Smile antics, getting tricked into loving the straights, and MORE!!RECOMMENDATIONS:Donate to a bail fundThe Magnus ArchivesTheme music thanks to Satah, you can find more of their work under people you...2020-06-091h 02FearbaitingDude Bro Party Massacre IIIIt's rush week, pledges! Line up for your hazing! Your first and last act of violence that we, the Frat, will inflict upon you is to see Dude Bro Party Massacre III! It might be made by the 5 Second Films guys, but they sure as hell didn't trim any fat off this 103-minute murderfest. Friend of the show/fellow frat bro/Noisespace overlord Matt joins us to recount the deaths, rack up the titty tallies, and tell us just how many times Ronald Reagan shows up. Also featuring cameos from Smile the bearded dragon!RECOMMENDATIONS:We...2020-06-011h 04FearbaitingSuspiria (1977)This week, our friend Piper came on to talk at length about Dario Argento’s Suspiria, and in the process got a history lesson about PogChamp!Piper can be found on Twitter @OneStrawShort!Intro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside of bars, for more tunes head over to gaygothvibes.online!Edited by Sara, who has once again gotten into her food bag and made a huge mess of the pantry.2020-05-111h 10FearbaitingEscape RoomWell, Hugo award-winner Blair finally solved the puzzle and got out of the editing bay, so I figured I’d reward him by letting him talk about Escape Room before shoving him back in there. Seemed fitting, y’know? In addition, we also talked about our snacking habits, the funniest euphemisms for pussy, and Chekov’s lecture hall!Intro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside of bars, for more tunes head over to gaygothvibes.online!Edited by Sara, who knows that you just let her inside but really...2020-05-041h 26FearbaitingFrom Dusk Till DawnThis week, Lavender joins us to take a break from horror movies to argue semantics about whether or not Robert Rodriguez’s From Dusk Till Dawn, is actually a horror movie? Sara picks a real stupid hill to die on, because with the amount of Quentin Tarantino foot content in this movie, it is undoubtedly a horror film.Lavender can be found on twitter at @lavendermanna!Intro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside of bars, for more tunes head over to gaygothvibes.online!Episode edited by...2020-04-1549 minFearbaitingTuskMr. Huge Jorts is on the scene, folks, and he’s presented us with some extremely challenging material! Roy joins us this week to Manitoba: Become Walrus as we watch Kevin James’s Tusk. Mr. Epicmealtime, PLEASE go on Fearbaiting!RECOMMENDATIONS:BNA: Brand New AnimalJigsaw puzzles!Roy can be found on twitter at @semperfunny, and her Mo Dao Zu Shi podcast is Podcasting is Forbidden in the Cloud Recesses!Intro/outro music by Satah who makes music under the name people you meet outside of bars, for more tunes head over to g...2020-04-071h 08The Wonder YeerksSomehow In My Heart I Knew It Was Going To Be Weed RelatedIt sucks trying to capture that jaunty episode description tone when the book is just so sad. This book is so sad and so full of trauma and I don’t know how to do any sort of exclamation point about it or anything. We read Animorphs 46: The Deception and then talked about it.In addition to I DON’T EVEN HAVE A PITHY JOKE FOR THIS SECTION, we discussed: Why Sara’s Brain Is Bigger Than Doctors’, We’re Not A Bong Family, Crossword Twitter, and Animorphs Is So Hard You GuysReferenced media: This image...2020-03-0257 minFearbaitingUzumakiThis week on Fearbaiting, the search is over. This two-year psyop disguised as a podcast to find the new CEO of Beyblades, Inc has come to a close, and that person is JB (@GemstoneJester)! In addition to their job interview, we also got to talk for a bit about the 2000 adaptation of Junji Ito’s Uzumaki! And boy, do I hope you like impressions of cartoon characters in this one, because we’ve got them in spades this week!RECOMMENDATIONS:Kentucky Route ZeroThere Existed an Addiction to BloodTheme music thanks to Satah, you...2020-02-1759 minThe Wonder YeerksI'm Gonna Google Snoopy; You Guys Do Whatever You Wanna Doive been soooooo sick its late & i didnt put the theme music in & im not gonna put the theme music in & im not writing a description & im not sorry. be nice to me. IT’S ANIMORPHS BOOK 45: THE REVELATION & SPOILER THE TITLE IS REFERRING TO U REALISING U HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME.In addition to general Marco feelings, we discuss: I Came Out To Have A Bad Time & I’m Honestly Feeling Very Attacky Right Now, Animorphs Noir, They’re All Just Looking For Dads, and King Of The Hill Animorphs AUReferenced media...2020-02-091h 02The Wonder YeerksSomeone Walked Out Of Plato's Allegorical Cave & Was Told To Draw A CatgirlAbout forty minutes into this episode, one of the hosts just sort of starts photoshopping pictures of kangaroos and dropping them into the groupchat. That’s the energy we’re bringing to the analysis. It’s Animorphs book 44, The Unexpected, and we’re doin’ an outback daytrip.In addition to barely parsing 143 pages of action, we discuss: I Hate Having To Confront The Person I Am, In-Universe Animorphs True Crime Podcast, I Don’t Pass The Mirror Test, and Animorphs Come To CanadaReferenced media: kangaroo tweets, kangaroo images, a snag (Australian snack)2020-01-2456 minThe Wonder YeerksThe Cycle Of Coffee Headcanons Ends With UsY’all… we are in the home stretch now, and it shows. It’s book 43: The Test, and we’re spending time with Taylor the terrible torturer & being tender about Tobias’ trauma. Totally. Taxing talk.In addition to the counteracting of jingoist propaganda for kids, we discuss: Gamer Corner: Outer Wilds, Andalites Have Posable Eyes, Tobias Doesn’t Know His Pasta Shapes, Doctor Who… Uh… Period, Mallrat AU, and Brunch Drinks2020-01-101h 23The Wonder YeerksThe Dial-Up Internet Of VegetarianismWe’re using this podcast to climb directly into your ears to go on a Fantastic Voyage through your blood. Sowwy!! While we’re on our vein hike, let’s talk about Animorphs book 42: The Journey.In addition to following some kids through another kid, we discuss: Doing Cars Wrong (Predominantly), Big Sit In Passenger Seat Of Truck Energy, Science Is Cowards, They Come Upon The Helmacrons, Karaoke Has Lower Stakes Except When It Doesn’t, The Theoretical Stress Of Cooking Meat, and Let Me Record Podcasts On My Fridge2019-12-2356 minThe Wonder YeerksWill The Real Slim Goodbody Please Stand UpReturning to the studio after a few months with Animorphs book forty-one, The Familiar, where actually… nothing is very familiar. Think of who you were at age fifteen and come on this journey with us.In addition to being generally befuddled, we discuss: Death Note Yaoi, Star Wars Didn’t Exist Until Three Years Ago, High Quality Pictures Of Slim Goodbody, I Assume Somewhere Blair Is Screaming, Always Needing Interrogation Maybe or Monday is Monday funnier, and Advent Calendar Of TraumaReferenced media: High quality picture of Slim Goodbody2019-12-061h 20The Wonder YeerksThe Vriska Of AnimorphsWelcome to our wonderful life diving into the classic “what if something had never happened” trope with the fourth & final Megamorphs! Join us as we watch Cassie become unstuck in time, hear Marco and Rachel grow closer together, and see the life of all of our favourite characters extinguished one by one. It’s Animorphs, baby!In addition to whatever it was we talked abt when we recorded this more than two months ago, sorry, my bad, we discuss: The Third Host Emily Swashbuckle, Mostly Clothed On The Internet & Drinkin’ Coffee, Blair’s Beef, and Little Shitty Arms2019-11-211h 19FearbaitingParasiteFriend of the show Morg joins us to talk about Bong Joon-Ho’s new film, Parasite! We recommend that you don’t listen to this before you’ve had a chance to see the film for yourself, but whatever! We’re not your dad!We also talk about how the show is going to take a break from the end of November to the start of February, because Sara needs to avoid burnout, and we thank you for your understanding.RECOMMENDATIONS:Resident Evil 2 RemakeSpindlewheelIntro/outro music by Satah, whose music can be f...2019-11-181h 04FearbaitingOne Missed CallRing ring! Uh oh! You got a voicemail! It’s from a ghost! You’re gonna die in a few days, apparently. That sucks. But maybe the movie we watched this week, One Missed Call, can provide you with some instructions on how to navigate this sticky situation! Joined by host of City Girls Make Do Stephanie, we’ll get to the bottom of your haunted iPhone or whatever.In addition to brick phones, we also talked about deviantArt searches, cats not being on they celled phones, horse dives, ghostpunching, and a deep dive into Taylor Swift!R...2019-10-211h 10FearbaitingBook of Shadows: Blair Witch 2SCHLOCKTOBER IS HERE AT LAST!!!!! And we’re kicking it off with Satah of the show, uh, Satah (@nuditea), as they bring us along to really confront our inner demons with Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, a sequel as ill conceived as its title construction is. Join us as we really take to task how much this supposed sequel seems to really, really, deeply hate its source material.RECOMMENDATIONS:A lil Amiibo to bring you joyTempeh! You know, like the food!PLAGUE MECHANIC – GARBAGEFACEPeachykine – PeachykineTheme music thanks to Satah, you can find more of their...2019-10-091h 18FearbaitingPaprikaAs we grow nearer to the Hallowed day of Ween, the boundary between the spectral world and the human becomes weaker. As such, sometimes (g)hosts slip through unnoticed, which is why cofounder of the show Blair has returned a week early to talk to us about Sara’s all-time favorite film, Paprika!In addition to cicada revelations, we also discuss Almond Turds (skip to 5:15 to avoid the poop story!), Jurassic World 2 Adventure, Atsuko’s Phid, and just a ton of Film Analysis. Put your thinking brains on, y’all – Sara’s on her bullshit!RECOMMENDA...2019-09-302h 01FearbaitingThe Evil WithinUh oh gamers!!!!!!!! Plug in your PlayStations and fire up the ol’ Xbox because this week we’re taking a good old fashioned diversion into the world of “Video Games”. Join Sara in bringing Jessica (@tielqt) on to talk about 2014 horror game The Evil Within! Strap in and get ready to dive deep into some really thoughtful, nuanced commentary on and dissection of vidjya gamezzzz!!!!RECOMMENDATIONS:JournalingMaking Your BedThe Hotelier – Home, Like Noplace is ThereBlank BansheeTheme music thanks to Satah, you can find more of their work under people you meet outside of bars.Editi...2019-09-251h 03The Wonder YeerksI Don't Give A Shit; Extradite MeAndalites? Disguised as human? On my Earth? It’s more likely than you think. This week, we meet some other refugees from the Andalite army, and learn a very important if kinda hamfisted lesson about ableism from Animorphs book 40: The Other!CW: Ableism (We rarely attach content warnings to this show, but the wildly dehumanising way this book tackles ableism warrants one)In addition to this very special after-school episode, we discuss: The Deep Wonder Yeerks Lore, We All Have Shipping Disease, Summer Wars AU, Marco Would Do OK Online, Dirtbag Leftist Marco, Love Magic, an...2019-09-081h 02The Wonder YeerksPresident Trash BoyIt’s time for a Cassie book, which means it’s time to settle down, open ourselves up to our more pacifist tendencies, and marvel at the Cronenberg-esque abomination that is an ant poorly attempting to morph into a human being. And also there’s a cape buffalo. He turns into a human too. It’s Animorphs book 39, The Hidden, and I’m sure Cassie’s fine!In addition to the general malaise that is these authors are trying to destroy this sweet little girl, we discuss: The Highs, The Lows, The Side-To-Sides, The Trash, The Boy, The Shorp Po...2019-08-231h 05FearbaitingHalloween IIStrap in, y’all! Michael Myers is back, and so is your host Sara joined by Ceridwen (@girlin4colors) with a real whopper of an episode. Take a deep dive with us into Halloween lore, Laurie Strode’s lesbianic subtext, and a truly beautiful two-part-harmony rendition of Mr. Sandman.RECOMMENDATIONSThe Shrieking ShackPaprikaTheme music thanks to Satah, you can find more of their work under people you meet outside of bars. Editing done by Blair, you can find him retching up a furball for approximately five minutes on your hallway floor and immediately trying to e...2019-07-302h 55The Wonder YeerksIt's Like Sex Ed But Forever And WarCrumph crumph: the sound of a book written in the 90s trying to deal with gender. It’s Animorphs book 38, The Arrival, which means it’s time to discuss our various mouth pleasures. Mine is just saying “crumph crumph”!Referenced media: Millennials Aren’t Growing Horns From Their Celled Phones, that statue of Oscar Wilde2019-07-101h 16FearbaitingThe Dark HalfThis week, Sara brings along with her Val in order to remove that fetus from your brain, Stephen King as they talk about The Dark Half! Topics include: Sara’s Floor Plan, Puddle of Rudd (OR) Ruddfuckers, #NotAllLadiesLovePaulRudd, Incel vs. Thad, Stephen King’s Body Count.RECOMMENDATIONS: I forgot to write this down! Watch this space lol.Intro and outro music by Satah, you can find more of their work at gaygothvibes.online2019-07-0251 minThe Wonder YeerksSome Houses Go, But Again, Not Particularly FastNo controllers on this podcast! Only human beings who love the human character Rachel. She is strong, she is real, and she is our friend. It’s Animorphs book 37, The Weakness, and we’re considerably more excited about Visser 3’s fantastically strong ex-boyfriend energy than any of the actual plot. Rachel’s the boss now and we’re the Supernatural of podcasts, I guess.In addition to other people named Rachel, we discuss: Hubris: The Book, Essay Filler, I Have To Live With Me ALL THE TIME, Houses Are The Slowest Thing That We make, Golf Ball Murder, Red Lights...2019-06-2759 minThe Wonder YeerksPut Ya Dick in Some WiresWhew! That was a real tough battle, but Sara managed to get out of Canada alive! Unfortunately, we had to leave Satah behind for a little bit to fend off the oncoming Yeerk horde. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be fine. In the meantime, we took a trip down to not-exactly-Atlantis to take a look at some Beegees, according to Rachel. It’s The Mutation!In addition to Shorts Season, Johnny Two Brains, Porn Laptop, Mob Psycho Animorphs AU, Double Depression, Closed-System Reproduction, and Everybody Knows Paprika’s Fucked.Support us on Patreon!2019-06-081h 09The Wonder YeerksBecause Of Her Tendency To Commit Treason ImmediatelyIn the longest episode yet, we somehow stay completely on-topic. In our defense, there’s a lot going on. It’s a seasonally appropriate Animorphs special today as we discuss the book Visser. No, not the monologuing himbo; the other one. Oh shit.In addition to… huh. No, seriously, this is just us talking about purely the book for almost an hour and a half.Referenced media: You made this? I made this.2019-05-101h 22The Wonder YeerksSome People Irony Poison To CopeCancel culture is when six teenagers with alien technology come together to try to get you to freak out over some cockroaches in your salad. Sometimes, the natural state of two lifebeings interacting is fear. These are just quotes from Blair I really loved that were too long to make the episode title. I’m writing this at a bar because as I ordered a beer, I realised I hadn’t finished editing the episode, so I did it in the corner. Like a cool kid! The things I do for you. Anyway, book, I guess. I’m over it! An...2019-04-261h 20The Wonder YeerksMotherfuckers Going To The Moon In A Paper AirplaneWe read Animorphs book 34, The Prophecy. That’s all I’m writing about the episode this week, cuz I’m tired. Take that, George Lucas!In addition to loving body sharing tropes, we espouse opinions on: Doggie Video Is Here To Stay, I Have To Fight My Adult Son, Ships Look Like Species, and What If Your Hometown Lake Was Polluted With Fascist Space Colonisers2019-04-121h 15The Wonder YeerksHumans Have The Capacity To Create New Snacks; Dogs Are Beholden To The Snacks Available To ThemOne of us is knocked out with the flu, so it’s up to the remaining two to try not to get knocked out by Feelings. Someone please SOS (Save Our Son). It’s Animorphs book 33, The Illusion, and it’s time to settle once and for all whether dogs have a food culture.In addition to bemoaning the trauma of a bird boy, we discuss: Goo Goo Dolls Sounds Like Morphing Noises, What Does It Feel Like To Have A Human Brain, Metaphorically Drinking Soda Through Life, School Dances, CAPTURED ON PURPOSE!!!, Only One Of Us Can Be Spartacus, Cousin...2019-03-291h 12The Wonder YeerksOrange Julius Is The IlluminatiIf you see a less caffeinated version of this episode walking around, let us know so we can join forces. Until then, let me introduce you to the evil (?) twin: a full hour of someone audibly using a fidget spinner kicked off by someone else saying “Teens Lit AF”. It’s Animorphs book 32, The Separation, and the hosts are… of two minds about it. Bwomp bwooooompIn addition to a truly iconic cover, we discuss: I’ve Become Superhuman For Finding Fucking Ingredients, Rachel’s Astrological Chart, Orange Julius Androids, and Gut CheckReferenced media: We Fooled Th...2019-03-151h 09The Wonder YeerksBeatrix Potter Characters Don't Real; Cryptids Might RealIt’s a sleepy pod, baby! Cuddle on in for some relaxing bedtime discussion of Animorphs book thirty-one, The Conspiracy. Note: in this case, we assume that you prefer your lullabies to be full of children experiencing trauma.In addition to parents constantly being in peril, we discuss: 2b28, Ow My Baby Hand, Tiger Tiddies, Transgenderism Is Lit, and Beatrix Potter Knows Something We Don’t Know2019-03-051h 03The Wonder YeerksWe Should Talk About Something That's Not RiversThis is not a Frozen podcast… or is it? Whatever; it’s gay children with dead parents, magic powers, and tons of trauma from top to bottom as we tackle Animorphs book thirty, The Reunion. Do you wanna break a Yeerk pool? C’mon let’s go and play~!In addition to loving Marco with our whole hearts, we also discuss: Marco’s Modern Memes, TobIphone S, I Hate The Sploots So Much, If Elevators Were Vacuums Would Everyone Be Better At Parkour, Most Iconic Rivers To Throw Yourself Into, and Laser Noises Are Not ThreateningReferenced media: Frozen 2 trailer, pics of mountai...2019-02-241h 11The Wonder YeerksI'd Like To Go On Record As Saying George Washington Is Not My DaddyIt’s about that TIME to figure out if you can keep a SECRET. Elfangor’s secret! In honour of this episode being shorter than usual, so is the amount of effort I’m going to spend on this description. If you hate it so much, why not go kill my goddamn grandpa so I’m never even ON this podcast? Fuck you. The book is MegaMorphs Three: Elfangor’s Secret. I said it already! Up top!! Whatever. I’m the version of me from the bad timeline where you killed my grandpa’s neighbour who was just in there trying t...2019-02-0156 minThe Wonder YeerksOkay, I'm Going To Do A NarutoJust because someone is absolutely one hundred percent guaranteed by the stars to kill one of your co-hosts is no reason not to stan. It’s a Cassie book, which means a lot of fumbling through trying to process the philosophical core of the Animorphs series. Also, eels! Join three people who have grown so ancient & wizened that they can no longer handle your standard iced tea to discuss this sweet treat of a book, number 29, The Sickness. Ooh ah ah ah.In addition to moral complexity of alien species, we discuss: No Jokes 2K19, Licensed Fast Food Toys, and A...2019-01-181h 11The Wonder YeerksWait. You Guys. Andalite Vampires Would Kick YouA heart-wrenching book about animal experimentation and factory farming somehow results in an episode that gets randy’n’rowdy by the middle of the intro. Don’t ask us how, but the energy just goes up from there. It’s Animorphs book 28, The Experiment, and we’re asking the tough questions: what if literally no-one can read???In addition to having perhaps too-high expectations of the philosophical centre of a children’s book, we discuss: We Don’t Know The Upper Bounds Of How Many Hands Visser 3 Has, One Single Framed Photo Of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, Selfish Extreme Home Makeover Host...2019-01-041h 11The Wonder YeerksSetting the Record Queerk, with Alexis and Kaylee!On this week’s episode of Setting the Record Queer, I sat down w- wait, no, that’s not quite right. Join Sara as she engages in a crossover event with the hosts of Setting the Record Queer! Join us as we watch Not My Problem, defend the prequels, and find out just how much the average person knows about Animorphs! Spoiler: it’s really not that much.Thank you so much to Alexis (@princessproto) and Kaylee (@witchs_hex) for coming on the show! To find their show, please check out settingtherecordqueer.com!Support us on Pat...2018-12-3057 minThe Wonder YeerksAll Of Linear Time Exists Pre-Footloose & Post-FootlooseIn addition to book 27, The Exposed, we also discuss: This Podcast Episode Is The One Where We All Roleplay As Minor Characters From Animorphs, Gay Coded Side Character, Footloose Is A Bad Play By The Way, Synthesiser Censoring Of Smart Home Activation, How To Define An Arm, and Droid Rights2018-12-281h 15The Wonder YeerksReal Time Owl MemesCan someone, for the love of god, get these kids some therapy? Jake had a living, thinking being die in his head and now the fucking eye of Sauron is visiting him in his dreams. It’s book twenty-six, The Attack, and they don’t even get to enjoy the touring stage production of The Lion King that came to their school before the Ellimist sends them off to play team deathmatch for the fate of a species. Also, Erek is here! Or, at least, he was; there’s a wall standing in his place now.In addition to hyping up the...2018-12-011h 06The Wonder YeerksIn The World Where Mermaids Are Real You Might Have Been Born A MermaidThis episode got lost in the snowy tundra for three weeks, where it repeatedly almost died of hypothermia before morphing back to its original form and then morphing back to let itself almost die again. Uh-oh! Luckily, it survived. In this very scattered episode, we read Animorphs book 25: The Extreme. The Yeerks of being incredibly tired and giggly have infected all of us and it’s fine, it’s fine, we’re fine.In addition to spending one of our hours discussing this, we also cover: Finally Sara Is Going To Decapitate Her Co-hosts, We Are All Gamecu...2018-11-291h 13FearbaitingWinchester: The House That Ghosts BuiltSara has her fingers in many devious soups, so cohost-from-another-podcast Satah has stepped in with Blair to talk about this movie that is nearly as inscrutable as the house it’s based off of! Explore this house disappointingly vacant of any kind of actual atmosphere are we discuss topics such as The Podcast That Pink Lemonade Vodka Built, Dr. Deadwifeman, Poison Marketing, Absolute Champion Hellen Mirren, and MORE!Thank you as always to Satah for our intro an outro music! You can find more of their work at gaygothvibes.online!Support us on Patreon!2018-11-051h 12FearbaitingHouse of Wax (2005)This week, hosts Blair and Sara give up on pretending not to actually be a Final Destination podcast as they’re joined by We Hate Movies’s own Chris Cabin to sorta get down to business as we talk about House of Wax (2005)! Come and join us as Blair loses his mind over wax physics, someone finally understands who the hell Sara is talking about, and a polite platter of meat and cheese is enjoyed by all in this fat, juicy hog of a closer to this years Schlocktober. Thank you all for fusing with the Schlocktober in your mind...2018-10-291h 36The Wonder YeerksDNA Is Literally Stored In The BallsAfter a month sailing the far-reaching seas of the Chronicles, we’re returning to the main series and, thank goodness, the main drive of this entire show: rap battle brackets. Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms melting into the form of wings, oh god, oh god, the noise of it. The crunching and churning. Oh god, oh god. It’s book 24 The Suspicion, and the kids are on a mission. We use our full cognition to determine their positions in the… aforementioned bracket. Listen, if anything rhymed with “Animorphs”, I would have gone there first,In addition to breezin...2018-10-2658 minThe Wonder YeerksModern Sci-fi Is All Dystopia TeensSit down with me, little bird, & let me tell you a story about how a series about the horrors of war somehow becomes even warrier & more horrific. It’s The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and it’s just upsetting. Let’s get real sad about it!If you need a pick-me-up, think about the last episode and check out this amazing canon image of a canon event. Remember how fun that was???In addition to being generally kinda bummered about, like, war & stuff, we discussed: Yeerk Sexual Dimorphism, Cry Button Songs, Esplin, Turns Out The Yeerks Suck, Never...2018-10-131h 05The Wonder YeerksRivals-To-Lovers Or Animorphs Is Dead To MeWe janked up the timeline by skipping books and we’re getting picked off of the show one-by-one as we accidentally unborn ourselves in our attempts to go back and fix the error. Uh-oh! With The Andalite Chronicles, we’re hopping all the way back to before the story even began, now with the baggage of loving these children way too much.In addition to loving Andalites so goddamn much, we discuss: Improvised Burlesque Floor Routines, Are There Literally Any Andalite Women?, Ax Would Eat A Cat, Andalite Culture Is: Being Kind Of A Dumbass, Do Andalites Purr...2018-10-051h 07The Wonder YeerksIt’s Cool Being Tobias Isn’t ItBy the grayse of gawd, Blair and Satah are here to discuss Animorphs book 23, The Pretender. What’s family? What’s morality? How does a hawk deal with CTPSD & clinical depression? How do we adopt & protect him, please, like please,???In addition to Tobias’ general angst, we discuss Experimental Podcast Loops, Listen Let’s Talk About Wills, Traumababy, Ax Is Only A Little Boy, The Gentlest “Shut The Fuck Up”, Animorphs Open Mic Night, Humans R Just Animals With Philosophy, and The Protagonist Degree2018-09-151h 18The Wonder YeerksWe’re All Just Animals That Are Eating Off The GroundBill Clinton is in your D&D campaign. Bill Clinton is in your house. We’re talking about book twenty-two, The Solution, but more importantly, we’re uncovering the secret that TRPG makers everywhere don’t want you to know.In addition to QBC (quiet bill clinton), we discuss Grocery Pranks, Blair’s Online Legacy, Sara Gets A Pop Filter, What We Were Allowed To Watch, & A New Front Bottoms Lyric, but Mostly QBC2018-08-311h 19FearbaitingFunny Games U.S.This week, Sara is taking a break, but Blair brings on Robin Zeno to be complicit in the violence in Funny Games (2007)! Your loss, Sara! Topics include: Brief other-film diversions, Galaxy-Braining, Twinkish Murderboyfriends, Special Tools That Will Help Us Later, and Generally Nerding Out About Horror!Thank you as always to Satah for our intro and outro music! You can find more of their work at gaygothvibes.online!2018-08-201h 35The Wonder YeerksThese Children Do Not Watch David LettermanAfter an epidemic of laptop foibles, we’re back to discuss book twenty-one, The Threat. Some of us are certainly having our patience threatened by a certain newcomer to the series. Who has opinions about birds? Who has opinions about what instruments the children would play? WHO is the DAVID of this PODCAST???In addition to a detailed list of seagull grievances, we discuss: This Podcast Is Just Hereditary, Wawa Taxes, Chuck & Stevenen: Gamer Boyz, You Can’t Press Charges Against A Bird, A Sad Version of The Onceler, You Know When You Kick So Hard You Expl...2018-08-171h 06The Wonder YeerksBoy Who Is TubeHave you ever been sitting near a pool and thought that the game of Marco Polo just had too many words involved? Blair and Satah have you covered as they spend about an hour mostly saying “Marco!!” at each other in various tones of worry and affection. It’s book twenty, The Discovery, and the new kid either sucks, or just isn’t dealing well with being conscripted into a war that will determine the fate of his entire planet. WHATEVER, DAVID. IT’S ANIMORPHS.In addition to being pretty travel-loopy, we discuss Marco’s DIY Fashion, Egregious Th...2018-07-281h 19The Wonder YeerksA Karen Named KarenIt’s time to cry about Cassie and the general concept of cats. Two of us read The Departure, but one only read the Wikipedia article for leopards. You won’t believe which one is which. Number 19 changed my life. Gone sexual?!?!?!In addition to Cassie’s anhedonia, we discuss Rachel Queer Eyeing Tobias, Ruthlessness, A Royalty AU, In This House We Are All Gay, Garold Is Charlie Kelly, and Goober Yeerk Buddy Cop2018-07-0657 minThe Wonder YeerksIt Makes Me Happy... And SadBroccoli is alien and there are, unfortunately, no therapists in the Cretaceous Age. This week, we’re talking about poorly-done comet foreshadowing and goodly-done character moments in Megamorphs 2: In The Time Of Dinosaurs. Animorphs, uhhh, finds a way. Thanks. Thank you. In addition to horrifically enormous lizards, and begging for an adult to take care of these children, we discuss: Group Chat Pix, Dinosaurs Fall Out Of My Brain, Wariocats, Byford Basin Diving Incident (Humans Are Just Made Of Meat), Andalites Are Needlessly Dramatic With Their Toys’R’Us, Big Weird Birds, Fambly!!!, Egg Standards, Drink Preferences, I Wanna Party...2018-06-221h 11The Wonder YeerksCentaurs Don’t Real, So, Infinite StairsCan a family be one mom, one dad, one more parent, their blue son whom they all could not possibly love more, & all of his vigilante friends? Yes. Absolutely. It usually is. Learn that and more with the three most linguistically fastidious people you know as they throw their advanced brainpower behind analysis of the eighteenth Animorphs book: The Decision.In addition to generally dismantling the concept of grammar, we discuss: Energy Drinks Are Poison, Centaur Exercise, Shipping Is Literary, Cinnamon Bun Locations Are Not Ideal, Word Hard Find So Control F, How Slug Make Weapon?, Ax...2018-06-0958 minThe Wonder YeerksGleek Bio-FiltersIt’s the oatmeal book, folks, so strap in as Blair, Sara, and Satah tuck in to book seventeen, The Underground! Join us as we talk about limbs getting ripped off and how fun that is, Animorphs Therapist OC, dogtalk, Glee-talk, and so much more!2018-05-251h 12FearbaitingLake MungoWell folks, it’s been a wiiiild two years! Thanks for sticking through us through thick, thin, and everything in-between! As a celebration, we’ve decided to take on a movie that Sara was to scared to watch back when we started this thing: Lake Mungo!In addition to this very scary film about trauma, we also discussed Sara’s Move, The Minecraft Movie, Backwards Driving, The Lake House, and Nicole Kidman!RECOMMENDATIONS:MegaloboxChristopher Eccleston’s run on Doctor WhoThanks as always to Satah for their incredible intro/outro music, check out their st...2018-05-2147 minThe Wonder Yeerkss02e01Blair is BACK and better than ever, ready to pop off season two of The Wonder Yeerks, and Satah’s decided to tag along for the long haul too. We suppose that Sara is just along for the ride, then. But that’s fine! Because this week, we have a… rhino, of a time discussing book sixteen: The Warning!Topics include: Being Very Tender About Children, Dookie Humor, Being Very Tender About How In Love The Children Are, Groups of People, Being Very Tender About How The Children Must Reckon With Their Own Mortality Day In And Day Ou...2018-05-111h 09The Wonder YeerksVisser (St)one(d)Hey man, c’mon over here. You want a hit? This sweet alien bowl is almost kicked, but there should be enough for one more hit. It’s good shit, too. Some kinda third type, according to Ax. Anyways, let’s get stoned on some galaxy brain kush and talk about crossing over Animorphs with Buffy.In addition to episodes one and two of The Leader, we also discussed Homestuck Tarot, Slobber Morph, Dad Hates, FatT Bites, Gay For Visser, Animorphs’s First Joke, and Buffy Crossover.Support us on Patreon!2018-05-041h 14The Wonder YeerksThe KapplanderHey, uh…weird question, but what is this? A podcast? About what? …Animorphs. Huh. Yeah, sorry, we conked our head and got amnesia, so we don’t know much past what we just watched a few minutes ago. Anyways, now that that’s all sorted, join us to talk about this episode of Animorphs, The Forgotten!In addition to forgetting everything, we also discussed Meme Memories, Slinky Morph, Volleyball Baseball Prowess, Forest Jerky, Wolf Nazis, Cartwheel Ability,Check out Satah’s new podcast, Music for Molehills!Support us on Patreon!2018-04-2741 minThe Wonder YeerksVolleyball BaseballWell, bad news, Sara’s name-morph lasted longer than 2 hours, so now she’s a namethlit. But that doesn’t matter, because Satah invented a new sport, and we’re gonna make millions off of it! We’re geniuses! Please don’t steal our ideas, we need this to make it through the next financial quarter. Our bosses are brutal! I’m not entirely sure where these show notes are going, but I’m not gonna fix it! Enjoy Satah going wild on this new creation. We also watched an Animorphs episode, whatever.In addition to The Stranger, we als...2018-04-2057 minThe Wonder YeerksA Flower Pretending To Be A SnakeThe rumour come out: does Satah is correct? Yes. Absolutely. This a good TV show, and finally, all of the hosts agree. There will be no take-backs. Today we’re talking about Animorphs S01E11, in which the protagonist is inexplicably swapped, and then semi-explicably croc’d. On the “Does Tobias exist?” chart, this one ranks: sort of!In addition to yet another great episode of this TV show, we discuss: Name Morphs, Coffee Crimes, Zoo Enclosure Logistics, Buffy Digression, Buffy Digression The Second And Also Third, Visser Three Is Banksy, Satah Has A Fucking Breakdown About A Pop St...2018-04-1349 minThe Wonder YeerksDope Therapy LionWell, Lulu did in fact morph her leg into a broken one! But she’s back now, and is extremely slowly de-morphing. Hopefully she doesn’t get stuck like this! Anyways, we have the first episode that Lulu actually liked! Wow! Some top quality acting out of Shawn Ashmore here.In addition to this stellar two-part episode of television, we also discussed Lulu’s New Name, Violet Trout, CheezyTits’s Cassie Slander, Driver’s License Will and Testament, Marco’s Star Wars Rage, The Andalite Dictionary, Youtube Poop Retrospective, and a Garold Cameo!Support us on Patreon!2018-04-0754 minThe Wonder YeerksThe Power of FriendshipLulu gone done and morphed her leg into a broken leg, so Blair’s back to cover episode eight of the TV show! Much like the inside of Satah’s brain, this one’s all about Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. What’s going on with that guy? What’s Seerow’s Kindness? Is it less weird that Tobias isn’t here AGAIN if everyone else is also offscreen? Is Marco, like… okay? Are any of us?!In addition to this episode of Animorphs, we discuss: Next Time On Blair, Is A Hog A Ham?, Worst Floors to Eat Off Of, Maladaptive Copi...2018-03-2345 minThe Wonder YeerksOatmeal CrimesWelcome to the first ever live episode of The Wonder Yeerks! Lulu’s up in Toronto for EGLX, and Satah made the trip over to her hotel to record this episode in the flesh! Also, the gang has finally found a weapon to fight the yeerks, and it’s fuckin…oatmeal. Brown sugar oatmeal. Yeah, we don’t know either. Apparently this happens in the books, but we haven’t gotten there yet, so we assumed this was a weird edit by the showrunners, but it’s canon! Whoops!In addition to this abysmal episode, we also discussed: L...2018-03-0939 minThe Wonder YeerksThe Cooler Ranch MorphWell folks, remember how we said nobody gave a shit about Tobias being a nothlit? Remember how he almost killed himself in book three because he hated it so much? Yeah, me neither. Anyways, Visser Three throws a temper tantrum and we talk about whether Satah’s a furry! It’s The Message!In addition to this nightmarish episode of Animorphs, we also discussed Women’s Leagues, Dorito Names, Ketchup Debacles, Ben 10 Lore, AFAB: Assigned Furry at Birth, and Luna Finally Makes a Reference Someone Understands!Check out Lulu’s guest spots on What’s Yr Fursona...2018-03-0234 minThe Wonder YeerksNo Gods, No Masters, Only NutWell, finally, Tobias is a nothlit. Like, officially. And they don’t spend any time on it! They get over it in like 2 seconds! This child is basically dead, but everyone’s pretty much okay with it! Which is super weird, honestly. Anyways, let’s get into Between Friends, which, well, I was about to make a joke about that being the name of a webcomic, but somehow that doesn’t exist! Whoops!In addition to this abysmal episode, we also discussed Abbrevs, Birthnames, Youtube Controllers, Tobias Hawk Confirmed (Finally), The People’s Principal, Shitty Teachers, Worst Music to F...2018-02-2342 minThe Wonder YeerksChameleons are the Animorphs of LizardsHey, remember Tobias? No? Yeah, neither do the Animorphs. He’s not in this episode, and they barely address it! Nobody’s worried about him, or anything! Anyways, it’s On the Run! I’m more a fan of Great Gig in the Sky, but I do app-oh, what the fuck, it’s a different one. Okay, fine, sure.In addition to this Tobias-less episode, we also discussed Smoothie Pockets, Stabbed in a Parking Lot Carnival, I Only Morph Into the Mountain Goats, Shopdropping, Human Acquisition Ethics, How I Met Yeerk Mother, ASGAB, Double Ds Jewellers, and Getting An...2018-02-1644 minThe Wonder YeerksSurrealist Basketball HoopsSo remember how in the books, Tobias is a nothlit by the end of the first one? Well, we reached the end of the third episode, and he’s still not stuck! So what the hell! We know it happens eventually, but they’re just dragging the first book out! Anyways, let’s talk about Underground, and finally get off our skateboard for the first time in the seri-oh, it’s not that Underground? Fuck.We also discussed: Name Game, Nothlit List, Tiger Facts, Get Rid of the Skids, Supernatural Memories, The Laziest Yeerk, Satah Cries Again, Another...2018-02-0947 minThe Wonder YeerksHis Name is NobiasOkay, so we’re not publishing this episode, right? We found a new way to monetize Animorphs in 2018. Anyways, this is just going into the fuckin’ Disney vault, so there’s no real point to this description. But I’m a creature of habit, so I’m doing it anyways!In addition to My Name is Jake: Part 2, we also discussedProfessor Baby, The Villain Edit, 50 Shades of Morphin’, 90’s Plastic, Bathtime Barbies, Cat Grooming, Local Shaun Makes Good, Chunk’s Li’l Flippie Flippa Floppers, and Big Fun Party Mix.Check out Satah on Tumblr, Twitter, and Bandc...2018-02-0239 minThe Wonder YeerksTobias SadstuckWell folks, we’ve got some bad news – we go into it in more detail but basically Blair is now Satah and Satah’s now their cat, Garold. It’s a whole mess. But anyways, until The Ellimist decides to let Blair morph back into her own body, Satah is here to talk about the Animorphs TV show! And boy, is it…..well, it’s something.In addition to My Name is Jake: Part 1, we also discussed Morph Chain, A Deep YTV Hole, Epic Rap Battles of History: Tobias Vs. Garold, Marco’s Stolen Jumpsuit, My Name is Jake-nas, S...2018-01-2649 minThe Wonder YeerksGay DeflectionBlair and Luna can’t tell you their full names, or where they’re from, but they CAN talk at length about The Escape‘s juicy, juicy Marco angst. On top of that, topics include Marco being in love with Jake, obviously, dogbots, lost continents, and lots o’ sick snuffles.2018-01-1355 minThe Wonder YeerksIs Mr. Six Alive?Luna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Kapplegate inspired a generation of transformation fetishists and was probably definitely horny for transformation herself. Or at least her ghostwriter for this book was. It’s Cassie time, she turns into a horse, and it’s The Unknown!In addition to alien shitboxes, we also discussed Christmas Talk, Butch Lesbian Cassie, Public Deucing, Transformation Talk, Dyson’s Other Blades, Domain Cultures, and Midwest Morphfest.Referenced media: Kakyoin Has a NightmareSupport...2017-12-291h 00The Wonder YeerksThe Disk HorseLuna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Hork Bajir shouldn’t know what a wife is. Also, Tobias can morph again! Welcome to The Change! In addition to The Change, we discuss A Low Edit Episode, A Diattribe On Kapplegate’s Shipping, Shonen Talk, Alien Genders, Animorph Get Facebook, Tobias’ Aging, Dickshit McFart’s Prestigious Student Award, and Sundae Headcanons. Sorry about the rough audio this week, Luna was sick as a dog and didn’t really have the energy for the high quality edit...2017-12-081h 03The Wonder YeerksWizard SlursLuna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or even where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that this book just kinda wholesale rips off Johnathan Taylor Thomas and Home Improvement. Also, Rachel is allergic to crocodiles! It’s The Reaction!In addition to Rachel’s allergy adventure also discuss The Three Names Curse, Crocodile/Alligator Differences, Nomenclatures, A LONG Twilight Tangent, Luna’s Memorization Skills, Yasmine Bleeth, Visser Three’s Human Form, Luna’s Stupidity, and Punchiness vs. Horny On Main.Referenced content: Yasmine Bleeth Game OverSupport us o...2017-12-011h 11The Wonder YeerksThat's Pussy, BabeBlair and Luna can’t tell you their last names, or where they live, but this week, they’ve come to tell you about the eleventh book in the Animorphs series, The Forgotten! Topics include: anthropomorphic horniness, generalized horniness, Furry AU fanfiction, time shenanigans, Kapplegate conspiracy theories, and so much more!2017-11-181h 05The Wonder YeerksThe Theme Song For DogsLuna and Blair can’t tell you their last names. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they both fucking love robots. Join us as we delve into Marco’s second book, The Android!In addition to The Android, we also discuss The Best Warped Tour Lineup Yet, A Diatribe on Cats, Marco’s Compulsory Heterosexuality, Luna is Wrong About Russell’s Teapot, Dan Ryckert’s Hoodie Revelation, Aliens Are Dogs Now, An Interesting Moral Discussion, and Marco’s Life on the Edge.Referenced images: Cevdet ErekSupport us on Patreo2017-10-2858 minFearbaitingThe CovenantFolks, I’m gonna be up front with y’all – this is a rough one. Blair and Satah (beloved guest and creator of our incredible Schlocktober theme song!) go on like a 10 minute tangent about Homestuck shipping. And that’s not even the only shipping tangent we go on. Welcome to The Covenant, folks! Luna sums up the plot in about 60 seconds, and we spend the rest talking about nothing that relates to it! It’s Schlocktober, baby, get with it!In addition to boiwitches, we also talk about That Centrist Feeling, Yowie!, Bad Theatrical Releases, A/B/O Disser...2017-10-231h 08The Wonder YeerksBoss Baby GenesisLuna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they still fucking love Cassie, and that she’s wasting her time with Jake. The Secret is here, and we go on a WILD ride with it! Also discussed: Ancap Coworker Antics, Doge Pronunciation, Our New Podcast Shipping and Handling, Disrespecting Strong Bad, Yet Another Bug Morph, McElroy Animorphs History, Road Rage, Tapir Dong, and We Still Can’t Come Up With a Fucking Signoff.Referenced images: Cursed imageSupport us on Patreon!2017-10-131h 17The Wonder YeerksHere's Your SignThis week, your hosts… Phillip and Caleb? Read and talk about the eighth book in the Animorphs series, our very first Ax book, The Alien! Well, at least, we try to talk about it. Mostly, we end up rambling off on topics such as astrology, peer pressured foley work, impulse control, and just being fun, fresh and flirty! But goodness are we ever excited to talk about our very good blue boy as he tries to tackle his extremely juicy YA alien angst!Book Cover #1Book Cover #22017-09-291h 07The Wonder YeerksThe Caddyshack ClassicLuna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Luna was the boss baby. It’s true! Also, we’re here with our first Megamorphs book: The Andalite’s Gift. PLEASE read this book.In addition to this extremely good book, your anonymous hosts also discussed: Mission Impossible Tropes, Young Idiot Luna, Snake Farts, Blair Gets MEAN, Kapplegate’s Sponsorship Deals, Bi Cousins, Big Jim’s Crazy Taxi, Luna Learns About Straight Women, and Arthur Read the Fascist?Media discussed this episode: Alternate bo...2017-09-081h 04The Wonder YeerksI'm Bussy?This week, your hosts John McCain and Sarah Palin dive deep into the BIG existential questions, such as “Can the flap of a butterfly’s wings change the course of history?” and “How do you hold onto hope after seeing the face of your own doom?” and “Why does Kapplegate continue to be like this?”Discover the answer to these questions and more as we discuss the seventh book in the Animorphs series, The Stranger!Very Important Visual Aides: Cover ICover IIYeerk?????2017-08-261h 08The Wonder YeerksBook NutLuna and Blair CAN tell you who they are! And also where they live! What they can also tell you is that absolutely nobody hosting this podcast is being controlled by a Yeerk! Hey, come on down to The Sharing, it’s a great time! Oh, yeah, we also talked about a book or something. Jake’s back! It’s The Capture! We’re definitely human!In addition to The Capture, your absolutely non-controlled hosts also discussed Animorphormers, A Deep Dive Into Richard’s Animorphs Forum, Teenecronomicon, The Back Dicks/Fantastic Beasts and Where to Watch Them, Luna’s Edi...2017-08-1159 minThe Wonder YeerksCryptozoologists LOVE The UnabomberLuna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that Kapplegate performs some truly heinous word crimes in this volume. Luna read and re-read this book too many times to count as a kid, and it apparently planted some serious phobias. But trust us, it’s great. In addition to The Predator, your hosts discuss: Self-Doxxing, The Six-Brain, Conversational Flips, Marco Is Incredibly Straight, Mike and the Milk Dud, Bomb Prank (Gone Sexual?), Ax LOVES Cinnabon, Sad Mall Stories, The Dreaded Stink Foot, Visser One REVEALED, Official Anim...2017-07-281h 03The Wonder YeerksKapplegate's Word CrimesLuna and Blair can’t tell you their real names. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that they fucking LOVE Cassie. Also, we meet our collective son, Ax! The gang’s finally all here! In addition to The Message, your hosts talk about: The First Book Cover for the Fourth Fucking Time, MORPH GAIN, Hypothetical Squirrel Dominance, The Last Podbender, What If: Dick Riordan, Horseshoe Theory, Theology Ruminations, Mark!, Everyone’s Fucking Gay, Monkey Dabbing, and Kappagate.Things we discussed: Sheena, Queen of the Jungle clip Lenticular CoverJapane...2017-07-131h 06The Wonder YeerksNature Vs. Nurture: Furry EditionLuna and Blair can’t tell you their real names. Or where they live. What they can tell you is, though, that Tobias leads an incredibly depressing life. In addition to The Encounter, your (anonymous) hosts discuss Podcast Passable, Animorphs Spoilers, The First And Last Episode of The Bone Zone, Animorphs: The Game, Proof Talk, Necessary Recap, Dog Interruption, Proogle, A DEEP Wikipedia Dive, Big Dick RidesThings we talked about: Animorphs: Shattered RealityBoris Cabrera being jacked as fuckDeath Battle: Visser Three vs. Mewtwo2017-06-301h 02The Wonder YeerksAll Women Are Queens, MarcoLuna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. What they can tell you, though, is that these book titles barely mean anything, and that these kids are fucked up. This week, we read the second volume in the Animorphs saga, The Visitor! Also, apologies for the weird sound – had a few minor unfixable issues while recording.2017-06-161h 03The Wonder YeerksAnthroponormativeLuna and Blair can’t tell you who they are. Or where they live. It’s too risky, and they’ve got to be careful. Really careful. So they don’t trust anyone. Because if they find them…well, they just won’t let them find ’em.. The thing you should know is that everyone is in really big trouble. Yeah. Even you. Welcome to the inaugural episode of Luna and Blair’s Animorphs fancast! In addition to The Invasion, your (anonymous) hosts talk about Backflip Death, Andalite Vore, Great Animal Names, Delicate Boy Modesty, BIG JIM, and Permamorph.2017-06-021h 03FearbaitingThe CraftThis week Blair and Luna are joined by chaotic trickster spirit and friend of the show Satah to talk about The Craft! And it gets… pretty hectic, as they play fast and loose with what can legally be considered a podcast about movies. But stick with us! They cover topics such as, a harrowing b-plot to remember the name of an album, one woman’s desperate attempts to keep the gang on topic, sharks, super flirty sleepovers, being a teenager in the 90s, and lesbian potentiality.RATINGS: Luna – Ehhh???/5 fake plane crashes Blair – 3/5 fake plane crashes Satah – 3/5 fake plane...2017-05-0855 minFearbaitingTamaraWe’re joined by our friend Satah to discuss the weird, terrible Canadian horror film Tamara! We also discuss the hardships of moving, digging for dollars in mouths, sexy oompa loompa Jigsaw, how secretly deep this movie is, and Tremors 2 (sequel to the movie Tremors).Also, a brief correction: Luna says the next movie we’ll be watching is Oculus – this was a mistake, as our next episode will be covering The Cabin in the Woods.Check out Satah on twitter @nuditea, and on Bandcamp!This week’s recommendations are:Mr. RobotBOXBOYLady Dynamite...2016-08-021h 03