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Modern Love
Andrew Garfield Wants to Crack Open Your Heart
In the new movie “We Live in Time,” the actor Andrew Garfield plays a newly divorced man named Tobias who falls in love with a chef named Almut, played by Florence Pugh. Their story feels epic and expansive, but still intimate. It focuses on the small, everyday moments that make up a love story: washing dishes together after a dinner party, sharing biscuits, smelling fruit at a farmers’ market. These are the moments that sustain them through Almut’s excruciatingly difficult medical crisis.In this episode, Garfield reads the Modern Love essay “Learning to Measure Time in Love and Loss,” by Chris Hun...
2024-10-09
50 min
Modern Love
Were We the ‘Fat Couple’?
Courtenay Hameister worked hard to stop feeling shame about her body size, but she also had a cruel inner monologue that just wouldn’t leave her alone. At times, her internalized fatphobia was so powerful, she couldn’t think about romance at all. But when Courtenay started dating Jason, everything felt different. He was fat, too, as well as smart, funny, and handsome.When Courtenay realized she was starting to gain weight again, though, she became obsessed with the idea that other people were judging her and Jason, and she made a decision she would immediately regret.This episode is adap...
2024-10-02
34 min
Modern Love
Myha’la’s Relationship Advice? Get in a Fight.
On the HBO high finance drama “Industry,” basically everyone serves cruel insults. It’s part of the culture at their bank, Pierpoint. But Myha’la’s character, Harper Stern, goes after friends and enemies with deep, cutting verbal attacks.Myha’la reads a Modern Love essay by a woman with the opposite problem: Laura Pritchett and her husband have avoided conflict for so long, she writes, that the fights they’re not having are tearing them apart. Myha’la also tells the host, Anna Martin, about the kind of communication style she strives to maintain, and what it’s like when she and her f...
2024-09-25
32 min
Modern Love
Gillian Anderson Wants to Hear Your Sexiest Fantasies
The actor Gillian Anderson (“The X-Files,” “The Fall,” “Sex Education”) has become an advocate for sexual openness, whether through her on-screen personas, launching a libido-boosting soda brand, attending the Golden Globes in a vulva-embroidered dress or through her new book, “Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous,” which showcases the secret fantasies of anonymous women, curated by Ms. Anderson herself.Today, Ms. Anderson reads and discusses the Modern Love essay “On Tinder, Off Sex,” which follows a woman who becomes unintentionally celibate after a painful breakup. The author fantasizes about past and potential loves but can’t seem to break out of what her doctor has ca...
2024-09-18
34 min
Modern Love
Peter Gallagher’s Marriage Advice? Don’t Get Divorced.
Actor Peter Gallagher (Sex, Lies, & Videotape and The O.C.) met his wife, Paula Harwood, over forty years ago in college in a stairwell meet-cute. Since then, they’ve maintained a loving marriage and managed to raise a family while navigating the world of show business.We talked to Peter on his 41st wedding anniversary, and he read us the Modern Love essay “Failing in Marriage Does Not Mean Failing at Marriage” by Joe Blair. Despite the essayist being kicked out of the house by his wife five times, the couple managed to remain married and learn that a relationship can me...
2024-05-22
29 min
Modern Love
Liza Colón-Zayas, of ‘The Bear,’ on Loving Someone Who’s in the Fight of Their Life
On the Emmy- and Peabody-winning series “The Bear,” Liza Colón-Zayas plays Tina Marrero, a cook at the Chicago restaurant at the center of the story. Tina and her fellow workers are in a constant struggle for the survival of their restaurant, and they fight just as fiercely with one another. Only at rare moments do we see them drop the tough exterior and show one another love or respect.Today, Colón-Zayas reads “A Web Between Her Body and Mine,” by Karen Paul. It’s a Modern Love essay about two friends who also met at work, but have a different...
2024-05-15
32 min
Modern Love
¡Hola Papi!, Does My Grandmother Need to Know I’m Gay?
John Paul Brammer writes the “¡Hola Papi!” advice column for The Cut at New York magazine, answering questions like, “Why am I dreaming about sex with a man when I’m a lesbian?” Or, “What if my partner judges me for writing smut?” This candor has given John Paul an intimate connection with his readers. However, as today’s episode reveals, he doesn’t think we necessarily need that level of openness with all of our loved ones.Ahead of Mother’s Day, Brammer reads an essay about a recent college graduate who sets out to spend the summer exploring his sexuality, but wh...
2024-05-08
27 min
Modern Love
Emily Ratajkowski Can Take Care of Herself, But a Little Help Would Be Nice
Emily Ratajkowski is doing a balancing act many famously beautiful women have to perform. In her 2021 book “My Body,” she reflects on what it’s been like to build a career based on her public image, and her struggle to control that image in an industry largely run by men. Since getting divorced a few years ago, she’s been thinking a lot about gender dynamics and the type of agency she wants to have in dating, too.Today, Ratajkowski reads “Why I Fell for an ‘I’m the Man’ Man,” by Susan Forray. Forray is also a successful, self-sufficient woman, dating afte...
2024-05-01
31 min
Modern Love
Laufey, Gen Z’s Pop Jazz Icon, Sings for the Anxious Generation
Laufey, the 25-year-old singer-songwriter, has risen to prominence by taking the trials of today’s dating world — casual relationships, no labels and seemingly endless swiping on apps — and turning them into timeless love songs.Today, Laufey reads Coco Mellors’s essay, “An Anxious Person Tries to Be Chill,” which is about a woman trying to work through her deep-seated relationship anxieties and attachment issues in an on-again, off-again situationship. Laufey says she, too, has been an anxious partner. While she thinks a toxic relationship, like the one in the essay, can make for a great love song, she now knows secure relat...
2024-04-24
28 min
Modern Love
Why John Magaro of ‘Past Lives’ Could Never Love a Picky Eater
The actor John Magaro is picky about whom he goes to dinner with. Magaro is an adventurous eater. So whether he’s buying offal from the butcher, making stews from the 1800s or falling in love over a plate of rabbit, he says it’s important to him that the people he shares a meal with are willing to be curious. For Magaro, it’s about more than personal preferences. Sharing a meal and connecting with other people, he says, is the bedrock of society.Magaro played Arthur in “Past Lives,” one of our favorite movies last year. His character is constan...
2024-04-17
34 min
Modern Love
Esther Perel on What the Other Woman Knows
Over the last two decades, Esther Perel has become a world-famous couples therapist by persistently advocating frank conversations about infidelity, sex and intimacy. Today, Perel reads one of the most provocative Modern Love essays ever published: “What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity,” by Karin Jones.In her 2018 essay, Jones wrote about her experience seeking out no-strings-attached flings with married men after her divorce. What she found, to her surprise, was how much the men missed having sex with their own wives, and how afraid they were to tell them.Jones faced a heavy backlash after the essay was...
2024-04-10
28 min
Modern Love
The Second Best Way to Get Divorced, According to Maya Hawke
When Maya Hawke’s famous parents got divorced, she was just a little kid trying to navigate their newly separate worlds. Paparazzi aside, Maya’s experience of shuttling between two homes was still more common than the arrangement described in the essay Maya reads: “Our Kinder, Gentler, Nobody-Moves-Out Divorce,” by Jordana Jacobs.By staying under one roof, Jacobs and her ex-husband spared their young son the distress of having to go back and forth. But this “dad upstairs, mom downstairs” arrangement also meant that Jacobs had to overhear her ex falling in love with his new partner.Today, Hawke reflects on the bitte...
2024-04-03
25 min
Modern Love
How to Be Real With Your Kids
Penn Badgley has made a career out of playing deeply troubled characters. From his role as Joe Goldberg on the Netflix series “You” to Dan Humphrey on “Gossip Girl,” Badgley has shown many times over how obsession and delusion can destroy love.In his personal life, though, Badgley says he’s not doing too much brooding. He’s a father and a stepfather, and he opens up about the importance of being vulnerable with his kids. Badgley reads “Watching Them Watching Me” by Dean E. Murphy, an essay about a father who can no longer hide his emotions from his sons after they...
2024-03-27
31 min
Modern Love
Why Samin Nosrat Is Now ‘Fully YOLO’
The chef Samin Nosrat lives by the idea that food is love. Her Netflix series, “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat,” and the James Beard Award-winning cookbook that inspired it, were about using food to build community and forge connections. Since then, all of her creative projects and collaborations have focused on inspiring people to cook, and eat, with their friends and loved ones.After the recent loss of her father, Samin has gained an even deeper understanding of what it means to savor a meal — or even an hour — with loved ones. This week, she reads an essay about exactly that: “You May Wa...
2024-03-20
31 min
Modern Love
Brittany Howard Sings Through the Pangs of New Love
Brittany Howard, the five-time Grammy Award-winning singer, makes vibrant, dynamic music about love.As the frontwoman of the band Alabama Shakes, she was celebrated for the power and emotionality of her voice. When she began her solo career in 2019 with “Jaime,” an album named after and dedicated to her older sister, who died at 13, Howard revealed new dimensions of her songwriting and herself.Her latest album, “What Now,” captures the intensity of processing the past and starting anew. Today, Howard reads a Modern Love essay about the courage it takes to fall back in love: “Was She Just Another Nicely Packaged P...
2024-03-13
30 min
Modern Love
Novelist Celeste Ng on the Big Power of Little Things
Before Celeste Ng became a best-selling author, she had a side hustle selling miniatures on eBay — dollhouse-size recreations of food were her specialty. Even after the publication of “Little Fires Everywhere,” “Everything I Never Told You,” and, most recently, “Our Missing Hearts,” Celeste still makes tiny things — now, as a hobby. She’s come to realize the parallels between making small things and writing: Both give her a chance to look closely at the world.Today, Celeste kicks off our special podcast series, which celebrates 20 years of the Modern Love column, by reading Betsey MacWhinney’s essay “Bringing a Daughter Back From the Brink Wi...
2024-03-06
31 min
Modern Love
Three Powerful Lessons About Love
When Daniel Jones started the Modern Love column in 2004, he opened the call for submissions and hoped the idea would catch on. Twenty years later, over a thousand Modern Love essays have been published in The New York Times, and the column is a trove of real-life love stories.Dan has put so much of himself into editing the column over the years, but as he tells our host, Anna Martin, the column has influenced him, too. Today, Dan shares three Modern Love essays that have changed the way he thinks about love and relationships in his own life.Also...
2024-02-28
35 min
Modern Love
Modern Love at the Movies: Our Favorite Oscar-Worthy Love Stories
The New York Times’s film critic Alissa Wilkinson has a theory about movies: They’re all about relationships. No matter how big the action, the suspense and tension we experience when watching a film is often really about the feelings between the characters.But romantic relationships often fall back on old tropes, like the long-suffering wife of an ex-cop who can’t resist that one last, risky case. (We all know her; she leaves teary voice messages urging him to be safe.) Some of this year’s Oscar-nominated films give us fresher portraits of love. Alissa and our host, Anna Mar...
2024-02-23
31 min
Modern Love
A Politics Reporter Walks Into a Singles Mixer
The New York Times political reporter Astead Herndon went speed dating in a swing state to ask daters fun questions like: How early do you tell a prospective date whether you lean red or blue? When do you talk about your stances on issues like abortion or gender equality? It’s hard enough to find someone you click with. Then add election-year tensions into the mix, and things get even more complicated.Today: Our host Anna Martin speaks with Astead Herndon, host of the weekly politics podcast “The Run-Up" about the not-so-distant worlds of politics and dating.
2024-02-21
23 min
Modern Love
Author Read: Un-Marry Me!
Dave Finch reads his Modern Love essay, “On the Path to Empathy, Some Forks in the Road."To hear our conversation with Dave, listen to the episode: “Un-Marry Me!”
2024-02-16
08 min
Modern Love
Un-Marry Me!
We’re kicking off our new season this Valentine’s Day with a story from a Modern Love veteran.David Finch has written three Modern Love essays about how hard he has worked to be a good husband to his beloved wife, Kristen. As a man with autism who married a neurotypical woman, he found it especially challenging to navigate being a partner and father. To make things easier, Dave kept a running list of “best practices” to cover every situation that might come up in daily life. His method worked so well that he became a best-selling author and speaker...
2024-02-14
27 min
Modern Love
I Married My Subway Crush
Zoe Fishman couldn’t stop thinking about the man she called her “subway crush.” For years, she saw Ronen on the train and admired him from afar.When they finally connected, it turned out Ronen felt the same, and they began a blissful life together. But when their story took a devastating turn, Zoe had to grapple with longing for Ronen at a distance again.For the final episode of our season, we hear about the joy and loss that showed up in Zoe’s life, and the remarkable way she learned to live with both of them.Zoe Fishman is the auth...
2023-12-06
28 min
Modern Love
Author Read: I Married My Subway Crush
Zoe Fishman reads her Modern Love essay, “The Subway Crush Who Crushed Me."To hear our conversation with Zoe, listen to the episode: “I Married My Subway Crush.”Zoe Fishman is the author of several novels, most recently “The Fun Widow’s Book Tour.”
2023-12-06
12 min
Modern Love
Author Read: Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did
Sonja Falck reads her Modern Love essay, “Our 34-Year Age Gap Was Showing."To hear our conversation with Sonja, listen to the episode: “Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did.”
2023-12-01
13 min
Modern Love
Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did
Sonja Falck was immediately attracted to Colin, the professor who was renting her a room. He was intellectual and lively, with bright eyes that drew her in. It was only after they were already dating that Sonja found out Colin’s age: He was 34 years older than her.Their age gap didn’t give them pause. Sonja and Colin got married, had kids and built a fulfilling life together. But when Colin reached his 80s, and Sonja was in her mid-40s, Sonja realized she was craving a level of physical intimacy that Colin could no longer provide.So Sonja and...
2023-11-29
32 min
Modern Love
Author Read: Two Boys on Bikes, Falling in Love
Eric Darnell Pritchard reads their Modern Love essay, “Two Boys on Bicycles, Falling in Love."To hear our conversation with Eric, listen to the episode: “Two Boys on Bicycles, Falling in Love.”
2023-11-24
11 min
Modern Love
Two Boys on Bicycles, Falling in Love
2023-11-22
23 min
Modern Love
Author Read: He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him
Jessica Slice reads her Modern Love essay, “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him."To hear our conversation with Jessica, listen to the episode: “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him.”
2023-11-17
12 min
Modern Love
He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him
When Jessica Slice started dating a man named David, there was a lot to like about him. They could nerd out about books and board games, he was thoughtful and kind. But Jessica had a problem. The more caring David was, the more she recoiled. "He’s the greatest!" She texted her sister. "But I doubt I’ll go out with him again." This wasn’t the first time she'd felt like fleeing from affection, but something about David made Jessica hesitate. Was she finally ready for a new kind of love?
2023-11-15
29 min
Modern Love
Did I Fail as a Parent?
Rick Reiss was scared for his teenage son, Gabriel. Gabe was struggling with depression and mood swings, and no amount of therapy or medication seemed to work.But when Gabe became violent, Rick wasn’t just scared for his son; he was scared of his son. Rick and his wife felt as if they had to do something drastic. So they made the decision to send Gabe to a wilderness therapy program.Nearly 18 years later, father and son talk about the decision that changed both of their lives and how their relationship has grown now that Gabe is an adult.
2023-11-08
29 min
Modern Love
Author Read: My Sweaty Revenge
Christi Clancy reads her Modern Love essay, “Revenge of the Friend."To hear our conversation with Christi, listen to the episode: “My Sweaty Revenge.”
2023-11-03
11 min
Modern Love
My Sweaty Revenge
Christi Clancy had been avoiding her best friend’s ex-husband. He’d unexpectedly left her friend for another woman. After supporting her friend through the pain and heartbreak, Christi couldn’t help but resent the ex-husband for all the damage he’d done.So when the man walked into Christi’s spin class, she saw an opportunity to exact revenge in the best way she knew how: on a spin bike.
2023-11-01
18 min
Modern Love
I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind
Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father were “I love you.” And at the time, that felt like closure.Now, 10 years later, Heather tells our host, Anna Martin, that she would write a completely different essay today. She sees her father, and herself, in a new light — and realizes that “forgiveness” isn’t as simple a concept as she once believed.
2023-10-25
26 min
Modern Love
Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?
Deanna Fei reads her Modern Love essay, “To Keep but Not Be Kept."To hear our conversation with Deanna, listen to the episode: “What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?”
2023-10-20
13 min
Modern Love
What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?
Deanna Fei did not need a man. She was in her 20s, living in Shanghai on a Fulbright scholarship, writing her first novel: a book about fiercely independent Chinese women, very much like Deanna herself.Growing up as a first-generation Chinese American, Deanna resented the way some men, specifically white men, looked down on her. She refused to be anyone’s fetish. By the time she arrived in Shanghai, she had sworn off dating white men all together.But then, Deanna met a man: an older, successful white man, who offered to provide for her as she pursued her dreams. Wa...
2023-10-18
27 min
Modern Love
Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall
Susan Gelles reads her Modern Love essay, “Single, and Surrounded by a Wall of Men."To hear our conversation with Susan, listen to the episode: “Don't Hide in the Bathroom Stall.”
2023-10-13
13 min
Modern Love
Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall
Susan Gelles was a lawyer in her 30s who was too busy to find love. But after finally admitting that she was lonely, Susan did something that went against all her best instincts. She started attending singles mixers.On this episode, Susan shares her disastrous mismatches, awkward flirtations and the story of how she almost missed her chance to meet the love of her life.
2023-10-11
26 min
Modern Love
Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?
Khalid Abdulqaadir reads his Modern Love essay, “The Polygraph Test That Saved My Marriage." To hear our conversation with Khalid, listen to the episode: “Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?”
2023-10-06
12 min
Modern Love
Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?
Khalid Abdulqaadir’s life was full of secrets. He started keeping them when he was a teenager, after his father was accused of an unimaginable crime. He didn’t want to explain his family history every time he started a new relationship. So his secrets followed him, even as he got married.Many years later, Khalid was interviewing for a job in the U.S. government, and he was required to take a polygraph test. The examiner asked him a question he could not avoid: “Have you ever kept a secret from your wife?”Khalid knew that it was time to tell...
2023-10-04
30 min
Modern Love
I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help
Samantha Joseph’s childhood was scattered with golden trips to California to visit her Aunt Gail. Aunt Gail was the cool aunt. She worked in Hollywood and befriended actors like Robin Williams, Mayim Bialik and the cast of “Friends.” And yet she was still relatable (she’d get on the floor and play like a kid).One day, those trips to California stopped: Aunt Gail no longer wanted to see Samantha’s family. Samantha was devastated, and several years later, she was devastated again by the news that Aunt Gail had died by suicide.Today, Samantha shares her search for answers fo...
2023-08-02
25 min
Modern Love
Essay Read: I Had To Stop Asking Why
Samantha Joseph reads her Modern Love essay, “I Had to Stop Asking Why.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Samantha in the “Modern Love” podcast feed - the episode is called “I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help:. You can also read Samantha’s essay on the New York Times website here.
2023-08-02
12 min
Modern Love
Essay Read: How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon
Nell Stephens reads her Modern Love essay, “How I Lost the Financé but Won the Honeymoon.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Nell in the “Modern Love” podcast feed. You can also read Nell’s essay on the New York Times website here.
2023-07-27
12 min
Modern Love
How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon
Bored and in love, Nell Stevens found a hobby combing the internet and entering her name into online contests. But, when she actually wins a prize — a luxury honeymoon in India — her world falls apart: The man she thought she was going to marry breaks up with her.She decides to go on the trip anyway.On today’s show, the host Anna Martin talks with Nell about her fiancé-less honeymoon — and what she had discovered about herself by the time she returned home.Today’s story“How I Lost the Fiancé but Won the Honeymoon ,” By Nell Stevens
2023-07-26
23 min
Modern Love
My Invisible Husband
The last time David visited his ailing grandmother, he hid his wedding ring in his pocket. He’d never told her about his identity as a gay, married man. Fearful David’s grandmother would disown him, his family never told her about David’s loving marriage with his husband, Constantino. It was an untruth David lived with until the day she died.Today, David shares how that untruth left a gaping hole in his relationship with his grandmother — and the power of telling the truth in his eulogy.Today’s story“The House Where My Husband Doesn’t Exist,” By David Khalaf
2023-07-19
14 min
Modern Love
The Day My Family Changed Forever
Imagine you are on vacation. Your favorite shirt is waiting for you in your suitcase. You go to put it on, only to realize it’s not there. You forgot it, and there’s nothing you can do now.That’s an experience that played out time and again for Natalie Muñoz, who split her childhood and adolescence between her parents’ houses after their divorce. Now that she’s turning 18, she tells us how she’s finding a balance that works better for her.Then, Modern Love listeners share stories about the moment they knew their parents were really divorcing and...
2023-07-12
23 min
Modern Love
The Gift of Holiday Men
Kema Christian-Coates’s childhood was filled with “holiday men,” absentee fathers — including her own — who returned each year around Christmas only to disappear again. Her father’s absence left a hole in her life and the fear that she, like her mother and grandmother, would never find a man she could rely on.Today, we hear Kema’s story on realizing the power of her mother and grandmother’s presence in her life and on finding a lasting partnership.Today’s story:“The Gift of Missing Men,” by Kema Christian-Coates
2023-07-05
10 min
Modern Love
Sex on the Run? No, We Parked.
Having sex in a car is usually a last resort, born from the trappings of youth. For Susan Silas, it was a midlife necessity.While working as a production accountant on a sitcom, Susan met a teamster. Despite having little in common — he was former military; she had been an antiwar protester — they hit it off. But, without a private place to go to, they found themselves having sex in the back seat of the teamster’s car. It wouldn’t be the last time.Today, Susan shares how car sex turned into something deeper.Today’s story:“Sex on the Run? No...
2023-06-28
18 min
Modern Love
What I Got Wrong About My Parents’ Marriage
As one of the only Indian girls in her tiny Canadian mountain town, Natasha Singh stood out — and she was unafraid of being different. At 13, she shaved her head. By 17, she had run away for good. A few years later she came out to her mother.Natasha’s worldview was worlds apart from her very traditional immigrant parents. Her mother always wore a sari — never pants — and Natasha longed for the power and control her father wielded in the family. She balked at the idea of marriage. That is, until she found Branly.Now, decades after leaving home and watching her pare...
2023-06-21
25 min
Modern Love
For a 30-Year-Old Virgin, It’s Now or Never
Clare Almand was born with congenital heart disease, so her life was never what she would call “normal.” By the time she was 30, she’d had 10 open-heart surgeries and her health was rapidly declining. Clare thought she was dying.With death looming, she was running out of time to do something she’d never done, something she felt like everyone else had already checked off their list. Clare felt she was running out of time to lose her virginity.Today, Anna Martin sits down with Clare to discuss wanting to be normal, at least in one small way.
2023-06-14
18 min
Modern Love
The Marriage Proposal That Wasn’t
Bob Morris could tell that something was changing with his elderly father: His car was clean, his manners had improved and he had a shine in his eyes. He had a new “lady friend.” Her name was Arlene.Arlene loved Bob’s father, but she also set clear boundaries with him. She didn’t want to care for him when he got sick and — despite what Bob’s father led Bob to believe — she didn’t want to marry him.Today, Anna Martin talks to Bob about his father’s last love story. Then, she talks to Arlene herself about a misunderstood ma...
2023-06-07
29 min
Modern Love
We Dated for Three Years. He Forgot It All.
Sam and Tyler’s relationship was built on a philosophy of joy. Together, they climbed trees, ate cream puffs in bed, and danced in a field with their friends. But, after three years together, Sam was no longer in love, and they broke up.A few months later, Sam was in a terrible accident. He had amnesia. He knew Tyler was important to him, but not why. He’d forgotten their entire relationship — and he didn’t remember their breakup. Now, Sam needed Tyler to fill in the gaps. Over hospital visits she shared photos and stories — trying to bring back Sam’s...
2023-05-31
27 min
Modern Love
He Ghosted. I'm Grateful.
Denny Agassi moved to New York City with a mission: She was looking to have great sex.Her first summer in the city, Denny downloaded the dating app Grindr. She filtered for trans friendly men looking for sex or short flings — and it worked.Then, one day, she got a message from a man named Jack. He was poised, curious and caring. What she thought could only be something casual — a Grindr relationship — turned into something serious and meaningful. Denny’s guard began to fall.But, just as she began to let Jack in, he was gone.This is the final ep...
2023-04-12
22 min
Modern Love
Dating Advice From Jay Shetty
When Jay Shetty graduated from college, he was prepared for two different paths in life: to work in finance, or become a Hindu monk.After three years at an ashram, Shetty returned home to London hoping to share his learning with the world. He had to relearn how to make small talk — and how to flirt. He had his eye on someone special: a down-to-earth woman named Radhi.Their first date was a disaster. But it helped him realize that Radhi, who would one day become his wife, yearned for a more simple and authentic mode of connection — qualities he knew...
2023-04-05
21 min
Modern Love
The Healing Power of Love (Island)
12 hopeful singles, thrown into a villa in Spain, hooking up, breaking up and making up. When Sophie Mackintosh was experiencing one of the darkest periods of her life, the reality TV show became her obsession. There was something about it that was deeply validating — and kept her coming back.Today: Sophie’s reflections on "Love Island." Plus, Lindsey Underwood, a Styles editor at The New York Times, gives us the lowdown on the show (she’s a superfan).After, Melissa Akie Wiley shares her Tiny Love Story about healing from a childhood trauma — and finding the love and acceptance she had thou...
2023-03-29
21 min
Modern Love
How a $100 Bet Saved Our Relationship
Mark Jason Williams and his mom often butted heads on two issues: She was uncomfortable when he brought up anything about being gay, and he was tired of her incessantly talking about how he survived childhood cancer.By the age of 40, Mark had reached his wit’s end. He stopped pleading for her to change and instead proposed a $100 bet. But the real change in their relationship came when Mark broke his end of the bargain. Today, Mark and his mother, Betty Williams, tell their story.Modern Love listeners, we want to hear from you! We’re conducting a brief surv...
2023-03-22
22 min
Modern Love
Stop Looking for the Perfect Partner
“The only three men I had ever imagined a future with all told me that something was missing,” Oz Johnson wrote in her Modern Love essay. When Oz was 23, her boyfriend said she met 99 percent of his criteria, but she was missing 1 percent. Over a decade later, another man broke up with her via email. Their love was almost perfect, he said, but not enough to last.What is this missing, unquantifiable feeling? Oz used to be haunted by these rejections, but now she has come to embrace the search for imperfect love.After: Nancy Cardwell wasn’t looking for love —...
2023-03-15
22 min
Modern Love
I Imagine Him Here
Felice Neal was in the checkout line at Whole Foods when she dropped her sweet potato. A handsome customer behind her said, “I think this is yours.” Felice was smitten.Felice believes this meet-cute was fate — and it opened her up to new ways of looking for love in a city full of millions of strangers.Then, Jessica Strange shares her story about losing her husband, and selling the house they had lived in with their children. These days, she looks at photos of their old home on Zillow. Even though the rooms look different now, she finds solace in them...
2023-03-08
22 min
Modern Love
Dominate Me, but Not Like That
When it came to dating, Aly Tadros was used to hiding the messy parts of her life. “Why even bother? As soon as a guy finds out about my baggage, he bolts,” she wrote in her Modern Love essay.That is, until Dan from OkCupid came along. His dating profile read: “I’m a feminist. I respect women while simultaneously enjoy dominating them.” That was the start of Aly’s journey into B.D.S.M.Today, Aly shares her story about exploring domination and kink, and what it has taught her about setting boundaries and demanding honesty. She calls this mind-se...
2023-03-01
22 min
Modern Love
Questions I Can’t Ask My Father
In her early 20s, Annabelle Allen longed to know what her dad had been like when he was her age. How did he spend his Saturdays? What was his first impression of her mom? When did he feel lonely? But Annabelle’s dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at age 62, and ever since, memories of his past had started slipping away.Recently, Annabelle was cleaning up her parents’ storage bin when she made an incredible discovery: more than a dozen of her dad’s old journals. They were a gift that gave her a window into her father’s past — and...
2023-02-22
19 min
Modern Love
The Tricky Geometry of a Throuple
For years, Evan Sterrett’s relationship with his boyfriend had become “reruns of the same drama.” Evan wanted space; his boyfriend wanted commitment. But one summer, their relationship received a guest star — a third partner who resuscitated their joie de vivre.Today, we hear Evan’s story about navigating the complex geometry of throuplehood. Then, we meet Samatra and April Doyle. They don’t live together and don’t co-parent, but they are married and intend to be together forever.
2023-02-15
23 min
Modern Love
I Promised God It Was the Last Time
Growing up in an ultra-Orthodox Hasidic community, Sara Glass was used to following strict rules — including what to wear, when to get married and whom to love. “I had strong feelings that I really should be with a woman and not with a man,” she told our host, Anna Martin. “But I wanted to do what God said was right.”Sara married her first husband at age 19. After two marriages to men, and years of working as a psychologist who strove to create a safe space for her clients, Sara was done hiding that she was gay. Today, Sara shares her experi...
2023-02-08
24 min
Modern Love
Your Weirdest Dates
What’s the most unusual place you’ve ever been on a date? We asked Modern Love listeners and the responses did not disappoint. Rummaging through landfills, listening to cases in night court … the stories get weird. Plus, there’s one that our host, Anna Martin, considers the most bizarre of all (hint: dead bodies).For our last episode of 2022, we start with Dev Aujla’s essay about how he wound up traveling on a cargo ship across the Atlantic ocean with a woman who, weeks earlier, had broken up with him at the advice of her astrologer. Then, we hear from...
2022-12-14
22 min
Modern Love
A Bond Thicker Than Blood
Brandon Kyle Goodman never knew his father, but he did know his Uncle Ronnie. Uncle Ronnie was Brandon’s godfather, originally his mom’s college bestie — and essentially, her sibling. Uncle Ronnie owned a hair salon, used words like “fabulous” and “honey” and was “the only person who never questioned my effeminate nature,” Brandon said. But when Brandon became an adult, their relationship changed.Today, Brandon reads his essay about the enduring bond with Uncle Ronnie. Then: Franki Kidd tells us about a stranger she met outside a bodega in Queens who changed her life.
2022-12-07
19 min
Modern Love
No More Hiding
An A-student, a striving employee and a loyal friend, Terri Cheney is the sort of person who seems to have it all together. But, beneath her glowing facade, she faced the highs and lows of bipolar disorder. She kept her mental illness separated from her personal and professional lives, but she could not conceal this part of herself when it came to dating.After Terri’s essay, we peek into another story: the romance of Dave and Janelle Funchess. When they met, he knew he wanted to date her. For a while it didn’t happen, because she was with some...
2022-11-30
20 min
Modern Love
Encore: When Two Open Marriages Collide
What are the boundaries of an open marriage? What happens to them when your wife’s boyfriend has an accident that puts him in a coma? And what do you tell the kids?Today, we’re revisiting Wayne Scott’s story about his open marriage — and a motorcycle accident that tested its boundaries. Then, we hear from Wayne and his wife, Elizabeth Thielman, about the dynamics of their “creative arrangement” and how their relationship has evolved in the years since.
2022-11-23
21 min
Modern Love
Falling for Your Sperm Donor
Rex and Katharine met on a trip in South Dakota. She wanted a baby; he did not. Could he be a sperm donor? No problem. The agreement was simple. They would both get what they wanted: Katharine would raise her baby in California, and Rex would continue his life as a builder and tinker in Michigan.Then, they fell in love.After hearing Katharine’s story, Anna Martin, our host, talks with Rex about changing his mind, unlearning generational lessons and raising a son who is comfortable asking his dad questions.Today’s story:“Seeking a Father for My Child (Relati...
2022-11-16
16 min
Modern Love
What to Do With the Time We Get
Ari Diaconis knew a bright future lay ahead of him. He was a gifted athlete with a well-paying job at a Wall Street law firm, and a partner, Dunia, with whom he shared a deep connection. But a neurological illness shifted his vision for the path ahead and shined a spotlight on the present — snuggles in bed and time spent in their apartment — a life raft from the city downstairs.In 2018, Ari died. After we hear his story, we chat with Ari’s younger sister, Alix, about their 3,000-mile bike trip across the country and on learning to protect someone who on...
2022-11-09
19 min
Modern Love
The Internet Still Thinks I'm Pregnant
Amy Pittman was thrilled about her first pregnancy. She immediately downloaded a pregnancy app, and she was charmed when it showed her baby had grown from the size of a lavender bud to the size of a chocolate chip. When she miscarried, she deleted the app and the chocolate chip avatar, but the internet never caught on. Seven months later, Amy received a sample of baby formula. Although she had deleted the pregnancy app, the baby formula company didn’t know — and thought she was a new mom. She laughed — what else could she do — and loved the idea that her choc...
2022-11-02
17 min
Modern Love
Not the Daughter She Wanted
Her whole life, Putsata Reang (Put, for short) was accustomed to exceeding her parents expectations. She excelled in her career, paid for her parents to go on trips together and maintained a tight connection to her siblings and community.Yet a fundamental part of Put – her identity as bisexual – was enough to crack the foundations of their relationship. When Put’s mother did not attend her wedding to the woman of her dreams, she feared she would never close the distance between them.Today, Put shares an update on her relationship with her Ma — and reveals what’s given her the streng...
2022-10-26
20 min
Modern Love
Encore: A Lifetime of Good Loving
Today, we’re revisiting the story of Bette Ann Moskowitz, who lost her husband of 56 years on the eve of the coronavirus pandemic. When Bette first met her husband, she was taken by his “smoldering looks and banked fires.” He was from Brooklyn; she was from the Bronx. They had little in common and their “prospects were not good,” as Bette put it, but they got married anyway.Bette’s husband died in February 2020, which isolated her just before the rest of the world locked down. On today’s episode, Bette shares the secret to what kept her and her husband togeth...
2022-10-19
23 min
Modern Love
Loving Across Borders
At age 11, Julissa Arce came to the United States from Mexico on a visa that expired three years later. For more than a decade, she lived as an undocumented immigrant, fearful of revealing her secret to anyone. “Every phone call or email I got from human resources would make my blood run cold,” she wrote in her Modern Love essay. And when it came to love, she would lie to nearly every man she dated, fearing the threat of exposure and deportation.On today’s episode, we hear about an undocumented immigrant’s search for love — and what it taught...
2021-07-21
21 min
Modern Love
When His Shorts Are Just Too Tight
2021-07-07
21 min
Modern Love
The Right to Fail at Marriage
In 2004, the comedian Cameron Esposito sat on the steps of Boston City Hall and watched as some of the first legally married same-sex couples in the United States emerged victoriously as newlyweds. Thirteen years, three boyfriends and 10 girlfriends later, Cameron was ready to marry the woman she assumed she would be with forever. “I expected to perfectly navigate marriage like some sort of lesbian phoenix that never stops rising,” Cameron wrote in her 2019 Modern Love essay. But when she found herself alone and knocked down, failing at marriage, she developed a new understanding of the privileges she had long been figh...
2021-06-23
20 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Confirm Your Failure
Have you really failed?
2021-06-13
03 min
Modern Love
Was It Me or Our Astrology?
“Love life not working out? Health problems? Everything going wrong?” Amisha Patel used to be skeptical of astrological services that offered claims about the future. Her parents, who immigrated to the U.S. from India, would make annual trips back to Gujarat. When they returned to their New Jersey home, they would share predictions from Hindu astrologers about the fates of their children. “I found my parents’ belief in fate unnerving and un-American,” Amisha wrote in her Modern Love essay. But in her late 20s, she began to embrace the notion of destiny. Could it be that all paths lead to the sam...
2021-06-09
20 min
Modern Love
Trapped in a Romance Scam
Last spring, Michael McAllister’s inbox started filling up with messages from heartbroken women. “I thought you were the man,” one wrote. “Embarrassing, but I kinda became obsessed with ‘you,’” another said. Michael discovered that his photos were being used to catfish women on dating apps — from Germany to Brazil to Chicago.Today’s story explores a global dating scam (that’s still going on, by the way) and the pandemic-fueled loneliness of digital life. Also, we hear from two women who were duped by Michael’s impostor. One of them shares a trick for determining whether or not a dating prospect
2021-06-02
22 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Unread Some Books
How can you let go of some irrelevant information you read in the past through books?
2021-05-30
02 min
FINDING JOE 👱
You Can Change Your Past!
Do you know that you can change your past?
2021-05-22
03 min
Modern Love
She Left Me There
Kacey Vu Shap had no desire to return to the Vietnamese orphanage of his youth. As a child, whenever he told people he was adopted, he would say that he came “premade” — that he spontaneously appeared one day at the Baltimore airport, greeted by a new family bearing flowers and kisses. “It was easier to sanitize my story by speaking only of my life as Kacey, who was loved and wanted, than to tell people of my life as Vu, who was abandoned and undesired,” Kacey wrote in his Modern Love essay. Nearly 25 years later, Kacey found himself back at the orphan...
2021-05-19
24 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Should we utterly blame the Education System?
Do you think the Education System has let us down?
2021-05-15
04 min
Modern Love
Why Do People Get Married?
Welcome to our season premiere. Seven years into a serious relationship, Jake Maynard got a text from his mother: “Gramma Gert: 3, Jake: 0.” This was her way of telling him that his grandmother, in her 80s, was getting married for the third time, while Jake remained unmarried and childless in his late 20s. His family found this strange. Stranger still, at least in Jake’s view, was his grandmother’s choice of partner. (You’ll have to listen to the episode.) Today, we explore how two generations of the same family — 50 years apart — grapple with identity, tangled kin and the loaded question of ma
2021-05-12
24 min
FINDING JOE 👱
The 'Therapeutic' of giving up!
Could sometimes, giving up be a better option that holding on?
2021-05-08
02 min
Modern Love
The Return of the Modern Love Podcast
The Modern Love podcast will be back for a new season on May 12, with new episodes on Wednesdays. We hope you’ll join us!
2021-05-07
02 min
FINDING JOE 👱
The Myth of "Something in Vain"
No matter how it turns out to be, everything should add up a lesson in your life. Nothing is completely "In Vain".
2021-05-03
03 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Would you embrace your weird self?
Unfortunately, there is a wicked version of yourself that you don't like. Yes, there is, maybe occasionally. Accepting the fact tat there is one isn't accepting that is should stay. Be vigorous to make a better version of yourself by understanding the presence of your internal enemies and finding the right weapons to fight against it. You shall win!
2021-04-26
08 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Why "Finding Yourself" seems so difficult?
Are you enjoying the journey of "Finding Yourself"?
2021-04-18
11 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Too much Leadership; Self-Sabotage to your talents?
Does being a leader always do you good?
2021-04-11
05 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Finding Joe: Why Finding Joe?
Do you think you know yourself? Maybe not. Dive in with me and realise this mysterious thing that inspired the name behind these episodes!
2021-04-06
03 min
FINDING JOE 👱
Finding Joe: A testimonial journey of Self-Discovery!
What makes who you are? It's little things that come together over a reasonable course of time. Let's get set to discover together!
2021-04-05
01 min
FINDING JOE 👱
FINDING JOE 👱 (Trailer)
2021-04-05
00 min
Podcast Sehat Seutuhnya (PSETUHNYA)
#63 - Salah Kaprah Menangani Cedera Ankle - Lutfinanda Amary dari PSS Seleman
Mitos dan fakta mengenai penanganan cedera ankle ini banyak banget. Apakah harus dikasih yang panas-panas atau yang dingin ketika baru cedera? Terus apakah kalau abis cedera ankle ini kita harus langsung coba dipakai jalan atau gimana? Buat temen-temen yang sudah mulai memiliki kebiasaan berolahraga episode ini bakal berguna banget. Kenapa? Karena narasumber kita akan berbagi cara pencegahan dan penanganan cedera ankle. Apakah ini ilmunya untuk diri sendiri atau dibagikan juga ke orang lain. Kebingungan mengenai cedera ankle semuanya akan dijawab oleh Mas Lutfinand Amary (@lutfinanda) yang adalah seorang sport physiotherapist dari klub sepak bola Indonesia...
2020-12-03
51 min
Modern Love
Season Premiere: Driveway Elegies
This episode contains strong language. On the first episode of the new Modern Love podcast, we hear from two women who examine their lives through the contents of their homes — the car in the driveway, the stained teacups, the razor and shaving cream by the sink. Though easy to ignore, these everyday objects often tell a larger story.Featured stories:“Bye Bye ‘Family’ Minivan," Kyrie Robinson“Tracking the Demise of My Marriage on Google Maps,” Maggie SmithMaggie’s story was narrated by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times...
2020-10-14
29 min
Modern Love
Researching Jenna, Discovering Myself | With Hasan Minhaj
Hasan Minhaj ("Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj") reads Brian Goedde's essay about a man investigating his own breakup.
2020-06-03
21 min
Modern Love
The Language Of Love With Saoirse Ronan | Encore
Saoirse Ronan ("Little Women") reads an essay about how a language barrier impacts the relationship between a young woman and an Iraqi doctor. This is an encore presentation.
2020-05-27
19 min
Modern Love
How ‘Lolita’ Freed Me From My Own Humbert | With Jameela Jamil
"Lolita," Vladimir Nabokov’s novel about a man’s sexual obsession with a young girl, is famously controversial. But when Bindu Bansinath started to read it, it unexpectedly became a kind of road map for her, showing her a way out of the situation she was in. Jameela Jamil ("I Weigh") reads her piece.
2020-05-20
20 min
Modern Love
Alone In A Pandemic
Living alone can be liberating, maddening, joyful ... lonely. It also might feel very different today than it did several months ago.This episode features stories from people who live alone, telling us how they are doing right now.
2020-05-13
23 min
Modern Love
Years Ago, My Sister Vanished. I See Her Whenever I Want. | With Daisy Edgar-Jones
Daisy Edgar-Jones (Hulu's "Normal People") reads Kyleigh Leddy's essay, about the online presence people leave behind.
2020-04-29
21 min
Modern Love
Sometimes It's Not You, Or The Math | With Laura Prepon
What if all the conventional wisdom about why you are single is wrong? Laura Prepon ("You And I, As Mothers") reads Sara Eckel's essay.
2020-04-22
20 min
Modern Love
Somewhere Inside, a Path to Empathy | With Daniel Radcliffe
When you’re in a new relationship, you’re always trying to present your best self. But anyone who’s been in a relationship for awhile knows that you can’t keep the act up forever. David Finch writes about that in his essay, which is read by Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel stars in the upcoming "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" interactive special on Netflix.
2020-04-08
20 min
Modern Love
A Role I Was Born To Play | With Tan France
Tan France ("Queer Eye," "Next in Fashion") reads an essay by Evan James, about a man finding his role within his family.
2020-01-29
19 min