Shows
The Couples Therapist Couch276: The Myth of Effortless Connection with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks the myth of effortless connection. Hear how to help couples who just don't feel connected anymore, how to get each person to speak through their feelings, what the...
2026-02-1028 min
The Couples Therapist Couch273: Working with Infidelity in Couples Therapy with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks working with infidelity in couples therapy. Hear why every infidelity case is different, how to initiate the work with your clients, whether it's appropriate to give a timeline...
2025-12-2353 min
The Couples Therapist Couch267: So Much More than Listening with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks what it really means to be the listener. Hear the listening skills we should all learn, when to be the speaker vs. listener, what to do when your...
2025-11-1340 min
The Couples Therapist Couch265: Consciousness in Relationships with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks consciousness in relationships. Hear why we're all pure love at our core, why we question ourselves in relationships, why every relationship is a paradox, how to find conscious lov...
2025-10-2816 min
The Couples Therapist Couch263: Communication in Couples Therapy with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks communication in couples therapy. Hear how to help your clients get back to basics with communication, the correct ways to be a speaker and listener, why communication often bre...
2025-10-1334 min
The Couples Therapist Couch261: Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) in Couples Therapy with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) in couples therapy. Hear what Shane learned from the training he went to led by Jan Bergstrom & Dr. Rick Butts, why the HOCI...
2025-09-2948 min
The Couples Therapist Couch258: Working with Men in Couples Therapy with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks working with men in couples therapy. Hear the perks of 1-day intensives, the common differences between men & women when it comes to couples therapy, how to help men truly listen in their relationship, how to identify moments to...
2025-09-0835 min
The Couples Therapist Couch255: Resentment in Relationships with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks resentment in relationships. Hear how to help couples let go of resentment, how to make healthy decisions based on compassion for your partner, what couples should do after they get past the honeymoon period, how to grieve a...
2025-08-1128 min
The Couples Therapist Couch253: Relationships & Control with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks relationships & control. Hear all the things we can't control in life, how to help your clients respect the autonomy of their partner, what makes people become controlling, the healthy way of talking through feelings, and how to help...
2025-07-2941 min
The Couples Therapist Couch243: Commitment in Couples Therapy with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane explores commitment in couples therapy. Hear how to help couples on the brink of divorce, the challenges of discernment counseling, what to do when one partner is leaning out, why you should talk goals & expectations from the beginning, and...
2025-05-2022 min
The Couples Therapist Couch240: Emotional Abuse with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into emotional abuse. Hear why emotional abuse is so complicated, how it compares to physical abuse, how different family environments impact the potential for emotional abuse, examples of boundary violations, and how to stick to the principle of...
2025-04-2935 min
The Couples Therapist Couch238: The 3 Situations When Couples Therapy Won't Work with Shane BirkelThis episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane explores the 3 situations when couples therapy won't work: addiction, serious mental health issues, and acting-out behaviors. Hear why couples therapy is not always helpful, the different types of addiction, why you might be a client's last chance, the one...
2025-04-1532 min
The Couples Therapist Couch232: Understanding Leverage in Couples Therapy with Shane BirkelGet the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane discusses how leverage works in couples therapy. Hear the different forms of leverage, examples of leverage involving couples, how leverage can help you tackle tricky topics with clients, whether it's right to stay together for the kids, and the most important questions to ask in a couples therapy session
2025-03-0430 min
The Couples Therapist Couch230: Understanding Shame with Shane BirkelGet the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane discusses how shame works and how to talk through shame with your clients. Hear the definition of shame, toxic shame vs. healthy shame, examples of shame between partners and children, how shame relates to compassion, and how to help your clients slow down and process the shame they're feeling
2025-02-1732 min
The Couples Therapist Couch225: Boundaries in Relationships with Shane BirkelSign up for TheraBundle: https://therabundle.com/shane Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane discusses the purpose of boundaries in relationships and how to set them up. Hear why healthy boundaries create change, what to avoid when setting boundaries, when to take a walk or go in the other room, the things that make boundaries work or not work, and how boundaries can help maintain safety in a relationship. Join The Couples...
2024-11-1224 min
The Couples Therapist Couch224: Understanding Emotionally Avoidant People with Shane BirkelGet the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane talks through how to understand and work with people who are emotionally avoidant. Hear how emotionally avoidant people differ from pursuers, how to avoid "right vs. wrong" conversations, how partners can help communicate what an emotionally avoidant person is feeling, whether an emotionally avoidant person can change, and the mindfulness exercise you can do every day to help. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.c...
2024-10-0840 min
The Couples Therapist Couch222: Emotional vs. Problem-Solving Communication with Shane BirkelGet the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane breaks down emotional vs. problem-solving communication. Hear why this misunderstanding happens a lot with couples, how to discuss difficult emotions, how to get partners on the same page, how long it takes to recover from an affair, and the times when it's important to problem-solve. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/
2024-09-1029 min
The Couples Therapist Couch217: Stop Trying to Be Right in Your Relationship with Shane BirkelGet the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane shares why you should stop trying to be right all the time in your relationship. Hear why this creates a stuck situation for both the couple and the therapist, the reason people get defensive, how to have good boundaries, when it's healthy to feel guilty, and the problem with perfectionism. Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/
2024-07-3019 min
The Couples Therapist Couch214: Working with High Intensity after an Affair with Shane BirkelGet the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this solo episode, Shane breaks down how to work with high intensity after an affair. This topic stems from a question that came up in the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Hear how to help clients recover after an affair, the emotions both partners are going through, how long it typically takes people to recover from an affair, how to get someone to stop having affairs, and how to help a client avoid getting into...
2024-06-1124 min
The Couples Therapist Couch193: The 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do with Amy MorinThe next cohort of the Couples Therapist Business Mastermind starts in January. Learn more here. In this episode Shane talks to bestselling author, Amy Morin, about her new book, The 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do. Shane was honored to be one of the many relationship experts who contributed to the book. Amy is the author of 6 books including: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do 13 Things Strong Kids Do 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do Workbook 13...
2023-12-1344 minThe Couples Therapist Couch192: Vienna Pharaon on Therapist BurnoutClick here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle In this episode Shane interviews Vienna Pharaon. She is an LMFT who has a huge following on instagram where she posts helpful advice for people. She is also the author of the book, The Origins of You. She has a new podcast called This Keeps Happening. Find out more about her at viennapharaon.com The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with...
2023-10-3148 minThe Couples Therapist Couch191: The Key to Every Conversation in Couples TherapyClick here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle This episode is a recording from an Inner Circle Webinar with Shane. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Learn more about joining the Couples Therapist Inner Circle
2023-10-251h 01The Couples Therapist Couch190: Intensive EFT with Jim ThomasClick here to learn more about The Couples Therapist Inner Circle In this episode Shane talks to renowned emotionally focused therapy trainer, Jim Thomas. They discuss doing intensive work with couples, particularly using EFT. Jim Thomas is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Certified EFT Therapist while being an internationally known therapist, trainer, and speaker. Find out more about him at jimthomas.care The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. I'm Shane Birkel and my goal is to bring you interviews with experts in t...
2023-10-2156 minThe Couples Therapist Couch163: Self-Esteem and Boundaries part 2 with Shane BirkelThis episode is a recording of one of the live Inner Circle webinars which are part of the experience of being a member of the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. This is a continuation of last week on the topic of self-esteem and boundaries. The Inner Circle is open right now if you are looking to take your practice with couples to the next level. Click on the link for more information. Self-esteem and Boundaries are an essential part of our experience as humans in relationships. It is also important to understand these concepts in order...
2021-10-241h 01The Couples Therapist Couch162: Self-Esteem and Boundaries part 1 with Shane BirkelThis episode is a recording of one of the live Inner Circle webinars which are part of the experience of being a member of the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. The Inner Circle is open right now if you are looking to take your practice with couples to the next level. Click on the link for more information. Self-esteem and Boundaries are an essential part of our experience as humans in relationships. It is also important to understand these concepts in order to understand how to work with shame in the couples we work with. My understanding of...
2021-10-161h 00The Couples Therapist Couch158: Being Bold in Couples Therapy with Pam StaplesFind out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle A lot of times, when couples work with therapists who don't have good couples therapy training, they feel like it is hard to make any progress. In this episode, Shane talks with certified Relational Life Therapist, Dr. Pam Staples about the importance of being direct and speaking the truth to couples with love and respect. Find out more about Dr. Pam Staples at myrelationallife.com The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane B...
2021-07-2044 minThe Couples Therapist Couch156: Joining Through the Truth in RLT with Shane BirkelClick here to learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle In this episode, Shane talks about what makes Relational Life Therapy different from many other models of Couples Therapy. One of the ways we create change in RLT is by joining through the truth. In order to understand this in more depth, we have to understand the importance of acceptance of emotions and treating people with love, respect and warm regard, while at the same time taking on the bad behaviors that are ruining their relationships. The Couples Therapist Couch is the p...
2021-05-1826 minThe Couples Therapist Couch155: Developmental and Relational Trauma with Rick ButtsGet your 3 free videos on Relational Life Therapy with Terry Real In this episode, Shane is joined by Dr. Rick Butts who is one of the founders of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. This is based on the work of Pia Mellody and teaches therapists how to do Inner Child Work. He goes into detail about the 4 pillars of Healing Our Core Issues as well as discussing the 6 aspects of the nature of a child. Find out more about Dr. Rick Butts at drrickbutts.com Find out more about the H...
2021-05-0756 minThe Couples Therapist Couch152: A Model is Only as Good as Its Applicability with Francesca Maxime'Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle In this episode, Shane talks with Francesca Maxime' about the reality that no matter how well a therapist knows a model, doing their own person work is essential to improving as a therapist. Find out more about Francesca at: Course on Anti-racism at therapywisdom.com maximeclarity.com ReRooted Podcast on the Be Here Now Network The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the...
2021-03-0248 minThe Couples Therapist Couch141: Viral Hope Series part 6 with Breta CollinsThis is the sixth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations. The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April. In this episode I talked with Breta Collins about creating rituals of connection. She had some wonderful ideas for communicating with teenagers and seeing the opportunity in these challenging times. Find out more about Breta at dilworthcounseling.com. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast...
2020-09-1522 minThe Couples Therapist Couch140: Viral Hope Series part 5 with Jerry SanderThis is the fifth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations. The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April. Thank you to Jerry Sander for joining us today and sharing his experience. Find out more about him at https://www.thesandsoftime.net/index.html The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel...
2020-09-0925 minThe Couples Therapist Couch139: Viral Hope Series Part 4 with Janeen HerskovitzThis is the fourth in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations. The episodes were mostly recorded around late March and early April. Thank you to Janeen Herskovitz for joining us today and sharing her experience. Find out more about her practice at https://puzzlepeacecounseling.com/ The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an...
2020-09-0128 minThe Couples Therapist Couch138: Viral Hope Series part 3 with Jeanne FarnsworthThis is the third in a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations. The episodes were mostly recorded around early April. Thank you to Jeanne Farnsworth from North Dakota for joining us today and sharing her experience. Find out more about her practice at https://www.sweetbriarcounseling.com/ The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews...
2020-08-2523 minThe Couples Therapist Couch137: Viral Hope Series part 2 with Selma BacevacThis is the second of a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations. The episodes were mostly recorded around early April. Thank you to Selma Selma Bacevac in Jacksonville Florida for taking the time to do the interview. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.
2020-08-1924 minThe Couples Therapist Couch136: Viral Hope Series part 1 with Quentin HafnerThis is the first of a series of ten episodes that are about inspiration and hope during this time of Covid-19. Most of the interviewees are therapists and offer support and perspective for getting through stressful situations. The episodes were mostly recorded around early April. Quentin Hafner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Orange County, California, who works with men and couples in his practice. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field o...
2020-08-0525 minThe Couples Therapist Couch135: Co-Therapy with Couples with Monique and Rick ElgersmaIf you've tried doing therapy with two therapists in the room, you know it can be extremely beneficial. You have the insight, knowledge and experience of two people and if you're working with a couple, there are ways to play off that dynamic in a really positive way. Rick and Monique Elgersma are not only co-therapists in their practice, but they are also a couple. In this episode, they talk all about all of the benefits, and also pitfalls of working in co-therapy. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the p...
2020-07-1449 minThe Couples Therapist Couch134: Modern Couples Therapy with Jourdan Virginia BlueThe episode this week is with Jourdan Virginia Blue. She talks all about the innovative approach to working with couples that she has created. Secret Love Hacks is a 12 week couples therapy approach that any therapist can use with their couples. All the sessions are direct, fast paced, easy to teach and easy to apply. Find out more at https://moderncouplestherapist.com/ Jourdan Virginia Blue is a full-time couples therapist in Nashville, TN. She leads couples workshops annually, offers all day couples intensive sessions on the weekends, is the creator of a relationship focused podcast, and i...
2020-07-071h 05The Couples Therapist Couch133: Peggy Kleinplatz on Magnificent SexDr. Peggy Kleinplatz is a Professor in the Faculty of Medicine and Director of Sex and Couples Therapy at the University of Ottawa, Canada. She was awarded the Prix d'Excellence in 2000 for her teaching of Human Sexuality. She is a Certified Sex Therapist and Educator. She is Director of the Optimal Sexual Experiences Research Team of the University of Ottawa and has a particular interest in sexual health in the elderly, disabled and marginalized populations. Get a copy of the new book, Magnificent Sex Please see optimalsexualexperiences.com. This episode is sponsored by C...
2020-06-3045 minThe Couples Therapist Couch132: Racialized Trauma with James HawkinsThis is a very important conversation with Dr. James Hawkins about Racialized Trauma, Racial Injustice, Privilege, Institutional Racism, and Black Lives Matter. James approaches this topic from his experience in EFT and attachment. Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at dochawklpc.com and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy. This episode is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed. Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and fe...
2020-06-2447 minThe Couples Therapist Couch131: Relationship Skills on the Dating Scene with Marni FeuermanIn the episode today, Dr. Marni Feuerman talks about why couples therapists make the best individual therapists. We discuss how important relationships are in everyone's lives even those who are single. We also talk about using dating apps, being a respectful dater, and what the dating scene looks like these days. Dr. Marni Feuerman is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in South Florida. She is a nationally recognized relationship and marriage expert with specialized training in couples' therapy. Dr. Marni is a frequently quoted expert in the media and recently released a self-help book...
2020-06-1648 minThe Couples Therapist Couch130: Joe Kort on When the Other Woman is a ManIn this episode, Dr. Joe Kort talks about when a straight spouse finds out that her husband has been with other men. He talks about the problems with defining acting out sexual behaviors as sex addiction as well as how to work with people in a sex positive way. Joe is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor of Sex Therapy. He is the author of several books, lecturer, and facilitator of workshops for therapists. He is also the Director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health. Find out more at www.JoeKort.com. Find...
2020-05-2645 minThe Couples Therapist Couch129: Relational Life Therapy with Shane BirkelThis episode is a brief summary of some of how Relational Life Therapy is different from other models of couples therapy. I am a certified RLT therapist and have been mentored by Terry Real. I talk all about shame, grandiosity, patriarchy, self-esteem, boundaries, and leverage. Terry Real is the creator of Relational Life Therapy. You can find out more about him at terryreal.com. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.
2020-05-1953 minThe Couples Therapist Couch128: Race in Couples Therapy with Corey Yeager and Kirsten Lind SealThe episode this week was with two guests, Dr. Corey Yeager and Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal. They discuss the reality of race and privilege in therapy. At one point Corey said, there is no such thing as cultural competence. That implies arrival. What is more appropriate is the idea of cultural understanding and responsiveness. As human beings we will always be struggling with this and part of the work is getting comfortable with the struggle. Dr. Corey Yeager is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, researcher, activist, and the life coach/psychotherapist for the Detroit Pistons. ...
2020-05-1254 minThe Couples Therapist Couch127: Implementing the EFT Model with James HawkinsIn this episode, Dr. James Hawkins and I explore therapist's process of growing their ability to implement the EFT model specifically. We also talked a lot about self of therapist in the room and how we have the ability to have a big impact on society. Dr. James Hawkins is an Emotionally Focused Therapist and trainer. You can find out more about him at dochawklpc.com and @dochawklpc on social media. He has recently started 2 podcasts called the Leading Edge and the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast f...
2020-05-0551 minThe Couples Therapist Couch126: Emily Nagoski on Sex and ScienceWhen it comes to sex in our society there is actually very little that has been written on it historically, particularly about female sexuality. At the same time it is one of the topics that people have the most interest in and influences so many of the decisions in our lives. In this episode, Dr. Emily Nagoski talks about desire, context, dual control model, responsive desire, and so much more. Emily is the author of the book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. You can also go t...
2020-04-2855 minThe Couples Therapist Couch125: Continuing to Cope During the Quarantine with Jen SilacciThe quarantine continues for much of the world and we are all doing what we can to cope. As therapists, we have scrambled to transition to online therapy, experienced huge changes in our caseloads and are dealing with the unpredictability of what's next. In this episode Jen Silacci talks about how we can cope with these difficult times. She describes many different strategies we can use to make sure we are taking care of ourselves as therapists. She also talks about the new nonprofit she started called coronavirusonlinetherapy.org. Find out more at coronavirusonlinetherapy.org
2020-04-2135 minThe Couples Therapist Couch124: Dealing with the Emotions of Online Therapy with Amber LydaThese times during the Coronavirus Pandemic have been extremely stressful on many different levels. As we all switch over to online therapy, it is important to be mindful of the emotional this is taking on us and think about how we can be making sure to take good care of ourselves. Dr. Amber Lyda has been doing online therapy for awhile now and has a facebook group called the Online Therapists Group. You can join for free to have access to lots of resources and support for your therapy practice online. Find out more about...
2020-04-1445 minThe Couples Therapist Couch123: David Wexler on Counseling in the #Metoo EraBecause of the history of power and influence in our world, we are socialized in ways that impact our relationships in a huge way. If we aren't aware of these realities, we might behave in inappropriate or boundary violating ways that are offensive to the people we care about the most. Dr. David Wexler talks about this topic and what we can do to live in a way that is more relational for everyone. David Wexler has been teaching and writing about relationships and men's issues for decades. He is currently working on a new book about...
2020-04-0753 minThe Couples Therapist Couch122: Working with Infidelity and the Developmental Model with Kim Gist MillerIn this episode with Kimberly Gist Miller we talk about using the Developmental Model in working with Affairs. Many of the clients we work with have a lot of trauma and it is so important to know that history and to know how to work with it. Kimberly Gist Miller is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Frisco, Texas, outside of Dallas. She specializes in working with couples, relationships, and infidelity. She is also a trainer and speaker on different aspects of relationships and for therapists. You can find her at myfriscocounselor.com
2020-03-3148 minThe Couples Therapist Couch121: Keeping the Hope In a Pandemic with Shane BirkelThis episode is a recording of a webinar I did recently with the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook group. We talk about the implications of this time during the coronavirus pandemic. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Get your free course called Working with Couples 101 Cli...
2020-03-2453 minThe Couples Therapist Couch120: Moving Your Couples Therapy Practice Online with Clay CockrellIn the last few days we are seeing changes in our whole society that are bigger and happening more quickly than anything else in decades. At some point in the coming weeks, most of us will have to consider seeing clients online as restrictions continue because of the Coronavirus. This is a special episode with Clay Cockrell which specifically addresses the issue of moving your Couples Therapy practice online. It is a particularly helpful conversation for those who haven't practiced online before. Clay has a podcast called The Online Counseling Podcast and an Online Counseling D...
2020-03-1842 minThe Couples Therapist Couch119: 5 Things Couples Therapists Should Know from a Sex Therapist with Martha KauppiMost Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that. Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in sexual health, counseling, and creative education. She has been a midwife, an artist, and is currently a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of The Institute for Relational...
2020-03-1049 minThe Couples Therapist Couch118: Running on Empty with Jonice WebbWe often see clients in our offices who are struggling with things like a lack of fulfillment, a deep sense that something isn't right with me, a feeling of disconnection, and a lack of emotional intelligence. It can be hard to know how to work with these clients and help them make connections about why they might be feeling these things. In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships. Dr. J...
2020-03-0338 minThe Couples Therapist Couch117: Where Does Masturbation Fit Into a Couple's Sex Life with Ari TuckmanHow is masturbation being used in the couple--as a path of least resistance to avoid confronting sexual/relational issues or as an add-on to an otherwise good shared sex life? How can couples balance the right to self-pleasure against the right to a sexually available partner? Does masturbation use up sexual interest--or kindle it? Does it matter whether external erotic material is used (porn, erotica, etc)? Dr. Ari Tuckman discusses these, and many other topics in the latest episode of the The Couples Therapist Couch. Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and...
2020-02-2555 minThe Couples Therapist Couch116: Attuning to the Attachment Dilemma with Ryan RanaOne of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy. Ryan Rana, PhD, LMFT, LPC is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. He is the current President and...
2020-02-1847 minThe Couples Therapist Couch115: Janina Fisher on Working with Trauma in Couples TherapyWhen couples are unable to communicate because they get emotionally escalated, it is often a result of trauma. Dr. Janina Fisher helps people become aware of these emotions and parts of themselves in a way that they can begin to heal and grow and improve their relationships. Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration...
2020-02-1144 minThe Couples Therapist Couch114: Alexandra Solomon on Taking Sexy BackWomen are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We're bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back) Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University and a...
2020-02-0448 minThe Couples Therapist Couch113: Shane Birkel on the Impact of Childhood Neglect on RelationshipsWe often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The h...
2020-01-2858 minThe Couples Therapist Couch112: Dr. Pat Love on The 5 Forces Destroying Your Relationship that You Probably Never Heard OfIn talking about factors that destroy relationships, Dr. Pat Love speaks with such depth and wisdom about all the things that are required to have a secure, healthy relationship. She talks about emotional security, attachment, systems theory, the relational set up, being flexible and spontaneous and so much more that we often take for granted in our relationships. Dr. Pat Love is known for her warmth, humor, and practical, research-based wisdom. Her blog posts, YouTube clips, books, trainings, workshops, and online courses have made her a popular go-to relationship consultant. Her work has been featured on TV...
2020-01-2152 minThe Couples Therapist Couch111: Helen Fisher on The Anatomy of LoveWhy do we love in the first place? Why do we choose the partners we choose? What happens in the brain when people fall in love? These are all questions that Helen Fisher has spent her career answering. Helen E. Fisher, PhD is a biological anthropologist, and Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with on...
2020-01-1458 minThe Couples Therapist Couch110: Alexandra Katehakis on Sex Addiction and Healthy Sex - (rerun)When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person. In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex...
2020-01-0747 minThe Couples Therapist Couch109: Janis Abrahms Spring on Healing After an Affair - (rerun)How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? How can unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness? These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. She normalizes and reassures couples about what they are going t...
2019-12-3152 minThe Couples Therapist Couch108: Laura Long on Marketing, Niching, WebsitesThis special episode is part of a 6 video business bonus that you can get for signing up for the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. In this episode, Laura Long talks about marketing, niching, websites, and networking. She discusses the importance of thinking about what makes Couples Therapists different and encourages us to think about how we will appear to potential clients. Laura is a badass business coach and you can get tons of great information and resources from her website: yourbadasstherapypractice.com The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the pr...
2019-12-241h 03The Couples Therapist Couch107: Removing Blocks to Success with Kine CorderIn this episode, Kine Corder talks about removing blocks to success, particularly stress. We talk all about money, marriage and maturing. Kine Corder helps people who have achieved success by society's standards, but still feel that they are missing something. She has a podcast called the Love and Money podcast, is a best selling author, psychotherapist, and international speaker. Find out more about Kine at kinecorder.com Take the Money Mentality quiz that Kine created The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. T...
2019-12-1759 minThe Couples Therapist Couch106: Sue Johnson on Emotionally Focused TherapyIn this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginning of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time. Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment. Sue is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICE...
2019-12-101h 07The Couples Therapist Couch105: Ellyn Bader on The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy - (Rerun)This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast f...
2019-12-0350 minThe Couples Therapist Couch103: When HE Has a Higher Sex Drive than SHE with Susan BrattonOne of the things we hear most frequently in our office as Couples Therapists is partners with differing levels of sexual desire. For a number of reasons this most often takes the form of a male partner desiring more sex than the female partner. Susan Bratton does a wonderful job of flipping conventional wisdom on it's head and giving us some great insight into how we can guide people to Revive Her Drive. Susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships. Considered the "Dear Abby of Sex," Susan's fresh approach and...
2019-11-1951 minThe Couples Therapist Couch102: Couples Intensive Retreats with Kerry LusignanIn this episode, Kerry Lusignan talks about the benefits and structure of a couples intensive. Couples intensives are becoming more and more popular and are more effective for helping couples make deeper, more lasting progress. Kerry is the founder of Northampton Center for Couples Therapy in Northampton, MA. She has extensive training in several different models of couples therapy such as Gottman, EFT, PECT, Daring Way (Brene Brown), and many others. Find out more about Kerry here: https://www.northamptoncouplestherapy.com/ The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the p...
2019-11-1255 minThe Couples Therapist Couch101: How to Help Your Partner Heal from an Affair with Linda MacDonaldOne of the most difficult situations that couples face is when there has been an affair and they are trying to heal. Every one of these situations is unique and different, but there are some general themes that tend to come up a lot. When partners can learn the skills and are willing to work at it, the recovery can go much more smoothly. These skills are exactly what Linda MacDonald teaches partners in her book, How to Help Your Partner Heal from an Affair. It is also the topic of our conversation in this episode of...
2019-11-0550 minThe Couples Therapist Couch100: Harville Hendrix on Imago Therapy - (rerun)Today we celebrate the 100th episode of The Couples Therapist Couch with a rerun of one of the most popular episodes. Thanks for all your support! This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bests...
2019-10-2256 minThe Couples Therapist Couch099: The Importance of Conflict for Couples with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan ClarkeMany people in our society have a belief that conflict is always a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs. In the interview today we unravel this myth about conflict and explore how it is not only helpful to relationships, but also essential. That is not to say it is always a good thing and it is very important to understand how we are approaching conflict in our relationships. Not only are CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke experts at this and have literally written the book. They are also well practiced in the benefits of...
2019-10-1547 minThe Couples Therapist Couch098: Neurodiverse Couples with Grace MyhillWhen one or both couples are on the Autism Spectrum or label themselves as Aspergers, it can be incredibly helpful to be understanding of particular things that will be helpful for working with these specific couples. In this episode, Grace Myhill talks about particular topics that neurodiverse couples often seek help with. Here is a paragraph from her website: A couple is neurodiverse when one partner is neurotypical — processes information the way most people do — and the other partner has a different neurological process, as is the case when someone has Asperger's. This difference between the partners can...
2019-10-0151 minThe Couples Therapist Couch097: Female Desire with Lisa TaddeoIn the history of our society there has been a huge amount of shame for women about their own desires. There is still a pervasive problem of not talking about what is going on and what people really want. Because no one is talking about it, no one feels accepted or validated about their desire. Author, Lisa Taddeo, breaks this silence in her book Three Women. Lisa is a #1 New York Times bestselling author and journalist and two-time recipient of the Pushcart Prize for her short stories. She has been published numerous time and has been awarded the...
2019-09-2453 minThe Couples Therapist Couch096: Elliott Connie on Solution Focused Brief TherapyIn this episode about Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Elliot Connie talks about some amazing strategies to help couples achieve great results in their relationships. He goes into details about how much of psychotherapy is all wrong, asking the right questions, and letting the client take the lead. He describes how asking people what they want in a skillful way and staying with it, requires them to move into deeper levels of vulnerability. Elliott Connie is a therapist, author, speaker, and educator in Solution Focused Brief Therapy. He has written several books on the topic and travels the...
2019-09-1752 minThe Couples Therapist Couch095: How to Be a Functional Adult with Jan BergstromIn this episode with Jan Bergstrom, we go into depth about the 5 Core Practices of a Healthy Life. This work was inspired by Pia Mellody and has become the foundation for many models of therapy. We talk about doing inner child work, feelings reduction work, and standing in your truth. We also touch on the importance of self-esteem and boundaries. Jan is the co-founder of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. She is the author of the new book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood. She has trained with Pia Mellody, Peter Levine, John Kabat Zinn, Sue Johnson...
2019-09-1047 minThe Couples Therapist Couch094: ADHD and Couples Therapy with Ari TuckmanIn this episode, Ari Tuckman describes how he often sees clients where what is being defined as "problematic behavior" is actually due to undiagnosed ADHD. Ari gives us a lot of information about how to work with these clients and how to help them feel more connected. Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit. Books: ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019) Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The A...
2019-09-0453 minThe Couples Therapist Couch092: People of Color and Couples Therapy with Dr. Angela ClackIn this episode, Dr. Angela Clack discusses cultural legacies that have been passed down for generations. She talks about how to make people from minority cultures feel accepted and understood and hold space for the change that needs to happen in relationships. Dr. Clack is known for her ability to teach, supervise, coach, and provide training in various areas pertaining to children, youth, and their families. Because of her training and teaching abilities, Dr. Clack has made a massive impact in her community by reducing the stigma of people of color who seek mental health treatment. She...
2019-08-2053 minThe Couples Therapist Couch091: Deirdre Fay on Feeling Safely AttachedIn this episode, Deirdra Fay talks about the transformational change that is possible when we understand attachment and trauma and are able to do deeper work within ourselves. Deirdre talks about the seven steps to a solid internal world and helps people learn how to become safely embodied. Deirdra is the Author of Becoming Safely Embodied and Attachment-Based Yoga and Meditation for Trauma Recovery. She is also publishing a new book soon. She does a lot of teaching for therapists and has been inspired by her time living in an Ashram, yoga, mindfulness, IFS, Sensorimotor Therapy and...
2019-08-1336 minThe Couples Therapist Couch090: Attachment Styles with Annie ChenThe topic of attachment has been becoming more and more prevalent in the world of relationships. The research is getting more and more clear about how important it is to understand attachment if we are to understand our own identity and our work with relationships. Research on attachment is guided by the assumption that the same motivational system that gives rise to the close emotional bond between parents and their children is responsible for the bond that develops between adults in emotionally intimate relationships. The interview today was with Annie Chen who wrote The Attachment...
2019-06-1856 minThe Couples Therapist Couch089: Infertility, Postpartum Depression, and Perinatal Loss with Bina BirdSo many of the couples we work with are going through the baby phase of their life. Whether they are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, have lost a child, or just had a baby, there is going to be a lot of stress and a lot that is hard to predict. Unfortunately, there has historically been a lack of education about this for couples and a lack of support. In this episode Bina Bird talks all about how to help and guide these couples as they go through these phases and how to identify if more...
2019-06-1141 minThe Couples Therapist Couch088: Lynn Grodzki on Bringing Aspects of Coaching into TherapyIn this episode with Lynn Grodzki, we talk about bringing aspects of coaching into our work with couples in therapy. There is a lot we can learn to make sure we are retaining clients in today's marketplace. Lynn talks about 9 skills we can start bringing into our practice now. Lynn Grodzki is a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice. Her new book that just came out is called T...
2019-06-0447 minThe Couples Therapist Couch087: Sex Talk with Erika MileyIn this episode, Erika Miley talks about the importance for therapists to get more comfortable with talking about sex. We all have our own sex "stuff" and the more we explore that and get education about sex, the more we can help the couples we work with. Erika Miley is a mental and sex therapist. She is the founder of the center for mental and sexual health. She hosts a podcast called Sex Talk with Erika Miley and has a facebook group called Sex Talk with Erika Miley Professionals Group. The Couples Therapist Couch is t...
2019-05-2847 minThe Couples Therapist Couch086: Martha Kauppi on Working with Open RelationshipsThere is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of relationships, but it is our responsibility to be as compassionate, understanding, and as open as possible. In this episode Martha Kauppi talks about how we all have particular biases that we bring to our work with clients and the importance of being...
2019-05-1457 minThe Couples Therapist Couch085: The 5 Stages of Relationships with Leanne ClarksonIn this episode Leanne Clarkson talks about the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy which was created by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. This is one of the leading model of couples therapy and Leanne does an amazing job of describing some of the ways this model can be used with couples. She identifies the 5 stages of couple's development which include: 1. The honeymoon phase 2. Differentiation 3. Exploration 4. Reconnection and 5. Synergy Leanne Clarkson, MPCC is a clinical counselor and certified couples counselor from the Couples Institute; Bader/Pearson Developmental Model, and an Addictions Counselor in Vancouver, Canad...
2019-05-0746 minThe Couples Therapist Couch084: Men and Masculinity with Joseph LosiThere are very different ways that men and women are socialized in our culture. Often, this reality is unspoken and creates challenges for relationships. As therapists, we frequently see this in our office and it can be a challenge to know how to address the situation. In this episode, Joseph Losi talks about a healthy masculinity and what men can do to be more intimate, vulnerable, and connected to their emotions. Joseph A. Losi, MA, LMFT walks with couples, men and women toward a more powerful belief of self and more creative, fulfilling relationships. He bl...
2019-04-3054 minThe Couples Therapist Couch083: Keeping it Real with Couples with Jasmine FoulkesIn this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from. Jasmine is a therapist in Nottingham, England. Using EFT, she helps couples have greater insight, raise self-awareness, and improve communication. She encourages and ability for couples to reach out when they feel distress. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy...
2019-04-2346 minThe Couples Therapist Couch082: Wendy Behary on Working with NarcissismWhen working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is from Wendy Behary's website: Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits: Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish Demanding – of whatever he or she wants Distrustful – Suspicious of your motives when you're being nice to him or her...
2019-04-1653 minThe Couples Therapist Couch081: Healing From Heartbreak with Chaute Thompson For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience. Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today. She wrote a book called Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness. Chautè Thomps...
2019-04-0945 minThe Couples Therapist Couch080: Lori Gottlieb on Normalizing the Human ExperienceSo often, the individuals and couples we see in therapy feel alone in their experiences. As therapists, art of what we can to for them, is make them accepted and normal. We can help them to feel like they don't have to be so alone in whatever it is they are experiencing. Even in our own experience as therapists we often feel alone and think to ourselves, "am I the only one?" Lori Gottlieb reveals all in her column as well as her new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. She discusses what goes through her h...
2019-04-0235 minThe Couples Therapist Couch079: EFT and Attachment Injuries with Leanne Campbell and David FairweatherWe have had a few episodes about emotionally focused therapy (EFT) lately and for good reason. EFT is one of the most well respected and widely used models of couples therapy. This conversation focuses specifically on how couples heal if there has been an affair or other attachment injury. Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather go into detail about the use of EFT to heal attachment injuries from trauma. They talk about being able to anchor the process of grief resolution in the context of EFT. Connecting with emotions is an important part of the healing process and...
2019-03-2654 minThe Couples Therapist Couch074: Lisa Ferentz on How Trauma Impacts Adult RelationshipsIn this episode Shane interview Lisa Ferentz, who is an expert on trauma and has trained and educated hundreds of therapists on how to work with trauma. She talks about how necessary coping strategies evolve in childhood in response to not having a secure attachment and how these strategies impact adult relationships. We talked about what people can do in the present when these parts of themselves get triggered. Lisa also touches on sexual abuse survivors and the experience of trying to be sexual in adult relationships. Lisa is a recognized expert in t...
2019-02-1251 minThe Couples Therapist Couch071: Hedy Schleifer on Creating Transformation in Couples TherapyIn this episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, Hedy Schleifer and Shane go deeper into the ideas created by Hedy in her method of working with couples called Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy. She talks about visiting each other's neighborhoods and unraveling the survival knot. The way that Hedy works with couples is deep and transformative and leads them into much greater intimacy with one another. Hedy Schleifer has been a therapist for decades and has a wealth of experience educating, training, and presenting to other therapists. Find out more about her and her model, and her...
2019-01-2254 minThe Couples Therapist Couch061: EFT vs. RLT debate with Figs O'SullivanIn this episode, Emotionally Focused Therapist, Figs O'Sullivan, conceptualizes a case from the standpoint of working from the EFT perspective. Relational Life Therapist, Shane Birkel, talks about how an RLT therapist would work with the same couple. Figs and Shane talk through some of the similarities and differences in the two approaches and how they view couples cases that come in for therapy. Figs is a Couples Therapist in San Francisco and the creator of the relationship quiz, Empathi. He has studied various couples therapy modalities, but is particularly dedicated to Emotionally Focused Therapy. The...
2018-09-1152 minThe Couples Therapist Couch058: The Five Losing Strategies of Relationships with Shane BirkelGet your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy. This report compares Emotionally Focused Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, The Developmental Model, The Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, IMAGO, Gottman, and Internal Family Systems. The episode today discusses the 5 losing strategies and also 5 winning strategies that couples can use in order to stop feeling stuck. Shane Birkel also gets into how to use the feedback wheel which is a valuable resource for helping couples communicate. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host...
2018-08-2122 minThe Couples Therapist Couch051: How to Have an Amazing First Couples Session with Shane BirkelAs Couples Therapists we all know that Couples Therapy is much different that Individual Therapy. It is easy to get off track and wrapped up in content. It is very important that we have the ability to stay still and redirect the couples we work with to stay with the conversations of process. As we begin to collect data in the first session it is important to have a mental framework in mind for us to think about how we are conceptualizing the case. We must also make sure to get each person's perspective separately. In this...
2018-07-0326 minThe Couples Therapist Couch034: 10 Ways to Make More Money in Your Private PracticeThis is the 6th edition of the bonus business episodes that are released the first (or second) Thursday of each month. This is a solo episode with Shane Birkel that is all about steps you can take if your practice isn't quite where you want it to be yet. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe...
2018-03-0831 minThe Couples Therapist Couch018: Amber Hawley on Building Your Business CommunityThis is the third Bonus Business episode in a series that is release the first Thursday of each month. Being in Private Practice can be lonely and therapists tend to be introverts to begin with. In this episode Shane talks with Amber Hawley about how therapists can build their business community. Therapists need to do a better job of making their businesses a priority and having a business bestie (or besties) can help. Amber Hawley is the co-host, along with Maelisa Hall, of the podcast, My Biz Bestie. She is also the owner of a...
2017-12-0751 minThe Couples Therapist Couch017: Using Gottman Interventions to Enhance Intimacy with Laura HeckIn order to guide couples to greater intimacy it can be helpful to have a framework that is backed up by decades of research. Laura Heck talks with Shane in this episode about the fact that as a therapist, there is no substitute for experience, but having exercises and interventions can be life changing for couples when used properly. Laura Heck is an LMFT and Certified Gottman Therapist in private practice in Salt Lake City, UT. She is co-founder of forBetter, an action driven online coaching tool for couples that teaches the science of successful relationships through...
2017-12-0554 min
The Couples Therapist CouchState-dependent Couples Therapy with Kerry LusignanWelcome to the third episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, a podcast by couples therapist, Shane Birkel. This is the podcast for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches to explored the practice of couples therapy. In this episode Shane interviews expert, Kerry Lusignan. Subscribe for more great content!
2017-09-1247 min
The Couples Therapist CouchBringing Couples Closer with Mark MosesWelcome to the second episode of The Couples Therapist Couch, a podcast by couples therapist, Shane Birkel. This is the podcast for Couples Therapists, Marriage Counselors, and Relationship Coaches to explore the practice of couples therapy. In this episode Shane interviews couples expert, Mark Moses. Subscribe for more episodes to come.
2017-09-1239 min