Shows
Master Your MarriageCoping with Loss Together: Strategies for Grieving as a CoupleEver notice how loss can drop a marriage into two wildly different time-zones? One spouse wants to talk it out while the other goes radio-silent. In this week’s episode of Master Your Marriage, we sit down with grief coach and children’s-book author Jennifer Morris to unpack how couples can stay yoked when death, empty nests, or any major life change rattles the compass. From Sharla’s raw reflections on losing her dad last weekend to a scuba-trip friendship that birthed two plush bunnies and a pair of rhyming picture books, you’ll learn why co-regulation beats coping alone—an...2025-06-1853 minMaster Your MarriageWhy Fear Burns You Out and Sabotages Your MarriageDo you ever notice how some couples only sprint toward “saving the marriage” when the divorce papers are already drafted—while others seem to glide forward, energized by a shared dream? In this week’s episode of Master Your Marriage, we tackle the sneaky trap of away-from motivation (fixing things only when the fire alarm blares) versus the power of a toward vision that pulls you closer every day. From the cautionary tale of “Mark and Lisa” to a five-minute future-pacing meditation you can try today, you’ll discover why dodging pain keeps you on a hamster wheel—while chasing a vivid...2025-06-0526 minMaster Your MarriageHow to Cherish Your Spouse: The Key to a Joyful MarriageDo you ever slip into “I deserve better” mode and forget just how lucky you are to wake up next to your favorite human? In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we unpack the power of cherishing—the next-level upgrade from mere “appreciation.” Through real-life stories (yes, including the magic fridge on their camping trip) and the Gottmans’ 20-question fondness quiz, we reveal how entitlement quietly drains joy while gratitude super-charges connection. You’ll learn why naming seven things you adore about each other feels scarier than rattling off seven complaints—and how flipping that script can transform your relationship, st...2025-05-3029 minMaster Your MarriageFeeling Alone in Your Marriage? The Cry for ConnectionDo you ever feel alone, even in your marriage? In this powerful episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore why loneliness hits so hard and how your brain is wired for connection. Sharla and Robert dive into the science of the relational brain, challenging the “go it alone” mindset of individualism. From Ed Tronick’s “still face” experiment to James Coan’s Social Baseline Theory, we uncover how co-regulation—syncing with your partner’s nervous system—can transform your relationship. Through compelling stories, like a couple rediscovering connection amidst conflict, and the stark realities of isolation (from orphanages to solitary confineme...2025-05-2229 minMaster Your MarriageHow Trauma Hijacks Your Marriage (And How to Take It Back) Part 2In this powerful follow-up to our discussion on big “T” trauma, we dive deeper into how all trauma—big and small—shapes the automatic behaviors that can strain your marriage. From lying to stonewalling, these “stances” stem from your adaptive child, a part of you formed in childhood. Through heartfelt stories and practical steps, we explore how to identify these patterns, heal your inner child, and choose wiser responses to reclaim your relationship. Join Robert and Sharla for an honest, hope-filled conversation about breaking free from the past.SummaryRelationships aren’t just about communication or date nights...2025-05-1525 minMaster Your MarriageHow Trauma Hijacks Your Marriage (And How to Take It Back)Ever wonder why you snap or shut down with the person you love most? In this powerful episode, hosts Robert and Sharla Snow kick off a multi-part series exploring how trauma—big or small—shapes our closest relationships. Through the lens of brain science and a moving client story, they unpack how unhealed wounds from the past can “hijack” your marriage, driving conflict or disconnection. Using Dr. Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain, Terry Real’s wise adult vs. triggered self framework, and Pia Mellody’s concept of the adaptive child, they reveal why we “flip our lid” and how tra...2025-05-0834 minMaster Your MarriageRewiring Your Brain for a Better Marriage: The Power of NeuroplasticitySharla’s back after a month-long break, sharing a deeply personal story of recovering from decompression sickness caused by a scuba diving trip in the British Virgin Islands. Her rapid brain recovery, thanks to hyperbaric oxygen therapy, inspired this episode on neuroplasticity—the brain’s incredible ability to rewire itself. Joined by Robert, Sharla explores how the brain’s adaptability can transform your marriage, drawing on therapist Terry Real’s framework from his book Us. Learn how to make unconscious patterns conscious, harness emotional “recoil” moments, and act quickly to build new, healthier habits in your relationship. Packed with science, pract...2025-04-3031 minMaster Your MarriageOvercoming Power Struggles: The Art of Accepting InfluenceIn this episode of Master Your Marriage, hosts Sharla and Robert dive into the dynamics of power struggles in relationships and explore how accepting your partner's influence can transform your connection from "I" to "We." Discover why this skill is crucial for a happy, lasting relationship and learn practical steps to navigate disagreements with emotional intelligence.Episode HighlightsThe Importance of Accepting Influence: Learn why accepting your partner’s influence is a cornerstone of a secure relationship, backed by Dr. John Gottman’s research showing that 81% of couples who don’t accept influence may split up.Why Po...2025-04-2229 minMaster Your MarriageWhy Empathy Disappears in Marriage—And How to Get It BackStruggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!📥 Instant Download HERE: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/window-of-tolerance-emotional-regulation-worksheet"Why do we struggle to feel empathy?"In this conversation, we delve into the complexities of empathy in relationships, particularly marriages. We explore why we may struggle to feel or express empathy toward our...2025-04-0933 minMaster Your MarriageResentment vs. Forgiveness: Which One Is Controlling Your Marriage?Struggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!📥 Instant Download HERE: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/window-of-tolerance-emotional-regulation-worksheet"Are we actually allowing the healing to happen?"In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the complexities of rebuilding trust after betrayal and the significant impact of unforgiveness on relationships. What are...2025-04-0228 minMaster Your MarriageRebuilding Trust After BetrayalStruggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!📥 Instant Download HERE: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/window-of-tolerance-emotional-regulation-worksheetIn this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the critical theme of trust in relationships. How trust can be broken through both significant betrayals and smaller, seemingly inconsequential actions. We share personal experiences of our...2025-03-2632 minMaster Your MarriageGrandiosity: The Drug That’s Killing Your MarriageStruggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!📥 Instant Download HERE: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/window-of-tolerance-emotional-regulation-worksheet"Contempt is the poison killing your relationship."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we delve into the critical topic of contempt, which they describe as the 'serial killer of marriages.' We exp...2025-03-1938 minMaster Your MarriageSnapping, Shutting Down & Fighting? How to Spot and Stop Dysregulation in Your MarriageStruggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!📥 Instant Download HERE: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/window-of-tolerance-emotional-regulation-worksheetIn this episode of Master Your Marriage, the hosts delve into the concept of the 'window of tolerance' and its significance in maintaining emotional regulation within relationships. They share personal anecdotes to illustrate how dysregulation can...2025-03-1029 minMaster Your MarriageUnlock a Calmer, Safer Marriage: Understanding the Window of ToleranceStruggling with overwhelm, shutdown, or emotional reactivity in your relationship? Our new Window of Tolerance Worksheet helps you identify your triggers, recognize dysregulation, and develop strategies to regain balance—so you can show up as your best self in your marriage.Limited-Time Offer: Get it now for only $5 (regularly $19)!📥 Instant Download HERE: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/window-of-tolerance-emotional-regulation-worksheetIn this episode of Master Your Marriage, we dive into the concept of the 'window of tolerance,' a psychological framework that helps couples understand their emotional responses during difficult conversations. We explore the states of hy...2025-03-0134 minMaster Your Marriage1% Better Every Day: The Small Changes That Transform Your MarriageIn this episode of Master Your Marriage, we explore the concept of small, consistent improvements in relationships, drawing parallels to the success of the British cycling team under Dave Brailsford. Real transformation occurs not through grand gestures but through tiny, daily efforts that accumulate over time. The discussion includes practical strategies for couples to enhance their relationships by focusing on self-governance, conflict resolution, friendship, and shared meaning systems. We encourage our listeners to adopt a mindset of iterative improvements, aiming for just 1% better each day, leading to significant long-term changes in their relationships.Takeaways:Real transformation...2025-02-2021 minMaster Your MarriageImproving Communication Part 3: The Secret to Making Your Partner Feel Heard"Listening is an act of love."In this episode, we talk about the critical role of listening in relationships, emphasizing that effective communication is not just about speaking but primarily about listening with compassion. We explore the challenges of listening, including ego, fear of change, and the urge to fix problems. Why is self-reflection and understanding one's own biases so important, and how can we recognize the value of feedback from partners? You will learn how to provide practical insights on how to navigate criticism and transition from being a listener to a speaker in conversations, ultimately...2025-02-0635 minMaster Your MarriageImproving Communication Part 2: Speaking WiselyIn this episode, we delve into the intricacies of effective communication within marriage, building on previous discussions about emotional regulation and self-confrontation. They address a listener's question about how to communicate concerns without coming across as controlling, emphasizing the importance of collaboration and vulnerability. We introduce an eight-step communication model designed to facilitate honest and constructive dialogue, highlighting the need for calmness, self-reflection, and clear requests. Get ready for practical examples and insights to help couples navigate difficult conversations and strengthen their relationships.TakeawaysEffective communication requires emotional regulation and self-reflection.Collaboration is key in any...2025-01-3041 minMaster Your MarriageImproving Communication Part 1: Preparing Yourself for Tough Conversations in Your MarriageIn this episode, we discuss the importance of effective communication in relationships, particularly during difficult conversations. There is a need for truth and integrity in communication, the significance of understanding differences between partners, and the necessity of self-confrontation to challenge personal narratives. The episode outlines steps to prepare for tough conversations, including calming oneself and recognizing one's own role in conflicts. We also highlight the importance of approaching conversations with a mindset of collaboration rather than control, ultimately aiming for a healthier and more honest relationship dynamic.Takeaways:Hard conversations are crucial for relationship growth.Communication...2025-01-2335 minMaster Your Marriage6 Signs You and Your Partner Have Strong Teamwork in Your Marriage"Good teammates don't keep score."In this episode, the hosts discuss the significance of teamwork in relationships, sharing insights from their annual retreat and emphasizing the importance of understanding core values. They outline six key signs that indicate a strong sense of teamwork between partners, highlighting the need for open communication, acceptance of flaws, and mutual support.Takeaways:Teamwork is essential for a strong relationship.Annual retreats help couples align their values.Understanding core values deepens connection.Accepting influence from each other fosters teamwork.A positive perspective on your partner enhances teamwork.Letting go...2025-01-0928 minMaster Your MarriageHow to Create a Family Vision Statement for 2025In this episode, we discuss the challenges of busy family life and the importance of creating a family vision and mission statement. We share our process of defining a family's values, crafting a vision statement, and implementing it into our daily lives. The conversation emphasizes the significance of aligning family goals, fostering a strong sense of self in children, and the evolving nature of family values. We provide practical steps for families to create their own vision statements and live intentionally according to their values.TakeawaysCreating a family vision helps align values and goals.A...2025-01-0435 minMaster Your Marriage10 Powerful Ways to Improve Your Marriage and Recommit in 2025In this episode, we reflect on their journey through marriage, the transitions of life, and the importance of gratitude and personal growth within a relationship. We discuss the purpose of marriage, emphasizing shared experiences and emotional connections, and offer practical advice for recommitting to each other as they approach the new year.Takeaways:Gratitude enhances the joy in marriage.Marriage is about creating a shared meaningful life.Personal growth is a key aspect of marriage.Every relationship goes through different versions.Small moments contribute significantly to a relationship's health.Communication is essential for understanding each other...2024-12-2630 minMaster Your MarriageRepair: The Most Important Relationship Skill You’ve Never Mastered (Part 4): What Happens After a Big FightIn this powerful and vulnerable episode, Robert and Sharla demonstrate how to process a regrettable incident—a big fight or emotional injury that still holds an emotional charge. Over the past three episodes, they’ve explored the ideal steps to repair conflict in the moment - which is ideally the goal. But what happens when repair doesn’t happen early or often? How do couples handle the aftermath of a major fight? Using the Gottman Institute’s Regrettable Incident Formula, Robert and Sharla work through a recent unresolved conflict live on the podcast. Thi...2024-12-1937 minMaster Your MarriageThe Power of Choice in RelationshipsCreate Your Strongest Year Yet as a CoupleGet Intentional With Your Relationship in 2025: Download our exact blueprint to aligning your values and planning your year, with our 2025 Yearly Couples Planning & Alignment Workbook—just $19. Get it here: https://bit.ly/2025goalsettingWhy are you choosing to stay in your current relationship or marriage?Today, we’re diving deep into a topic that can truly transform your relationship: The Power of Choice. We’ll explore how making conscious decisions can strengthen your bond and bring out the best in both you and your partner. So, ge...2024-07-2518 minMaster Your MarriageWhy Treating Your Marriage Like a Business Could Save ItCreate Your Strongest Year Yet as a CoupleGet Intentional With Your Relationship in 2025: Download our exact blueprint to aligning your values and planning your year, with our 2025 Yearly Couples Planning & Alignment Workbook—just $19. Get it here: https://bit.ly/2025goalsettingWelcome back to another transformative episode of Master Your Marriage! This week, we're thrilled to have fellow marriage mentors, Kevin and Michelle Davis. They bring a wealth of experience and wisdom, particularly from their unique backgrounds in dealing with the challenges of coming from divorced families. Kevin hosts the popular podcast, "Maxed Out Man," wh...2024-07-171h 09Master Your MarriageSex Hormones, Emotional Resilience & Love Potions with Thomas SeagerWhat do sex hormones and emotional regulation have to do with ice bathing? As research suggests, both may be modulated by deliberate cold exposure, and therefore a possible strategy for couples to improve intimacy Thomas Seager, a PhD in civil and environmental engineering, shares his journey into researching deliberate cold exposure and its impact on health. He discusses the importance of individual health and the need for people to take charge of their own well-being. Thomas also shares personal experiences with cold exposure and how it has positively affected his health, including increasing testosterone levels...2024-07-101h 29Master Your MarriageConnecting Couples By Aligning ValuesValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionThis Episode’s Highlights:Robert’s Career Revelation: Robert shares his journey from contractor to CEO and how a simple mirror exercise revealed his true values. 🪞✨Living Pono: Discover the Hawaiian concept of living in alignment with your deepest values and how it can transform your life. 🌺🌿Creating Rituals: Learn how to establish daily and annual rituals that support your values and strengthen your relationship. 🔄💖Quick Action Steps:1. Find Your...2024-07-0334 minMaster Your MarriageUnderstanding Male Hormones and Aging with Dr. Allen HolmesDr. Allen Holmes of Biosymmetry (https://biosymmetrywilmington.com/our-team/) discusses male hormones and the effects of aging on testosterone levels. He explains that as men age, testosterone levels naturally decline, leading to symptoms such as fatigue, low energy, decreased libido, and reduced motivation. However, he emphasizes that low testosterone is not just a normal part of aging and can be treated. Dr. Holmes discusses the different methods of testosterone supplementation, including pellets, injections, and creams, and highlights the importance of individualized treatment based on symptoms and lab results. He also addresses common concerns and misconceptions about testosterone, such as...2024-06-2640 minMaster Your MarriageOwning Our Sexual Desire Part 4 (Psychological Maturity)The episode discusses the importance of a strong sense of self in maintaining sexual desire in relationships. It emphasizes the need to focus on oneself rather than relying on others for validation and approval. The hosts share a story of a couple who experienced sexual desire problems due to their underdeveloped sense of self. They provide steps for strengthening one's sense of self, including observing, evaluating, and interrupting automatic behaviors. The hosts recommend the book 'Everything Isn't Terrible' by Dr. Kathleen Smith as a resource for further exploration.Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Lo...2024-06-2039 minMaster Your MarriageOwning Our Sexual Desire Part 3 (Hormone Replacement) with Dr. Jenn SimmonsHey everyone! It's Sharla Snow here, and welcome back to another episode of "Master Your Marriage." Today, we're diving into an important topic with our special guest, Dr. Jenn Simmons. Dr. Jenn is an integrative oncologist, author, and the founder of Real Health MD. She's here to talk about perimenopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), and the truth about their connection to breast cancer. Trust me, you don't want to miss this one!Dr. Jenn shares her journey from being a top breast cancer surgeon to starting Real Health MD. We discuss the often-overlooked symptoms of perimenopause and...2024-06-1252 minMaster Your MarriageOwning Our Sexual Desire Part 2 (Changing Hormones)Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIn this conversation, I explore the impacts of hormones on sexuality, focusing on the changes that occur in women's bodies during perimenopause and menopause. We delve into the physical and mental health challenges, as well as the implications for sexual function. Be ready to receive insights and strategies for maintaining sexual health and desire as women age, emphasizing the importance of open communication and empowerment through knowledge.TakeawaysHormonal changes during perimenopause and...2024-06-0535 minMaster Your MarriageOwning Our Sexual Desire Part 1 (Taking Responsibility)In this episode of "Master Your Marriage," Robert and I dive into how our feelings in relationships evolve over time and how to keep that spark alive. You know, those butterflies and the exhilarating rush of falling in love might not last forever, but that doesn't mean passion has to disappear. Instead, it can grow into a more mature love. We believe it’s absolutely possible to maintain and deepen our passion and intimacy for decades, and today we’re going to share how we can make that happen.We talked about how sexual desire can change, espe...2024-05-2933 minMaster Your MarriageFrom 'I' to 'We': Avoiding Power Struggles in RelationshipsValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Power struggles in relationships usually result in either a breaking point or a turning point for growth."In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we discuss the importance of accepting influence in a relationship and how it can lead to a happier and healthier partnership. We explain that accepting influence means taking your partner's opinion into account and being open to using their input to make decisions as a couple. We also...2024-05-2229 minMaster Your MarriagePrioritizing Physical Affection: Creating Rituals of TouchValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Physical touch is a language of its own."Physical touch is a vital language of connection in relationships. It fosters trust, teamwork, and overall well-being. Touch is a powerful way to communicate emotions and messages without words. Research shows that touch improves performance and cooperation in teams, including NBA players. Touch starvation, or the lack of physical affection, can lead to loneliness, depression, and health issues. To prioritize physical affection in long...2024-05-1528 minMaster Your MarriageRelationship Growth is a Journey of Learning"Learning isn't a straight line. It's really more like a roller coaster with ups and downs."This episode discusses the four stages of learning and how they apply to relationships. The stages are: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and unconscious competence. The hosts emphasize that learning new skills in relationships can be frustrating and challenging, but it's important to give yourself grace and keep practicing. They also discuss the importance of personalizing the skills and teaching them to others. The episode concludes by reminding listeners that relationships are a lifelong journey of growth and that it's...2024-05-0926 minMaster Your MarriageOne Couple’s Struggle With Pornography in Their MarriageIs porn good for marriage?In this conversation, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the topic of pornography and its impact on relationships. They highlight three main reasons why they decided to address this topic: the correlation between pornography use and decreased sex life satisfaction, the potential for increased desire for rough or violent sexual intimacy, and the increased chance of divorce. They share staggering statistics about pornography consumption and its prevalence on the internet. The conversation then shifts to the personal experiences of Emmanuel Guarino and his wife Becca, who share their journey of dealing...2024-05-0150 minMaster Your MarriageStrengthening Connection and Intimacy through Empathy Part 2Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Empathy can heal, deescalate conflict, and prevent resentments."In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the importance of empathy in difficult situations within a marriage. They explore three challenging situations: dealing with harsh words, when a spouse isn't open and vulnerable, and hearing the word 'no'. They emphasize the need to practice empathy, even when it's difficult, and provide strategies for understanding and connecting with the feelings and needs of your partner. The epis...2024-04-2425 minMaster Your MarriageStrengthening Connection and Intimacy through Empathy Part 1Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Empathy creates more intimacy, and that's what everyone wants."Empathy is a powerful tool that can improve intimacy and connection in relationships. It involves being fully present and seeking to understand the feelings and needs of others. Empathy is not sympathy, giving advice, or trying to fix things. It requires being present, focusing on the present moment, and understanding the feelings and needs of the other person. Non-verbal communication, such as body language, is ofte...2024-04-1727 minMaster Your MarriageAvoiding Miscommunications Traps in MarriageValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--vision"Are we even speaking the same language?"In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the miscommunications that can occur in relationships and how different speaking and listening styles contribute to these misunderstandings. They explain the differences between inferential and literal listeners and speakers, and the challenges that can arise when these styles clash. The hosts emphasize the importance of clear communication and making explicit requests to avoid misinterpretations. They also encourage couples to elim...2024-04-1031 minMaster Your MarriageMastering Conflict: From Divorce Predictors to Win-Win CompromisesIn this episode of the Master Your Marriage Podcast, hosts Sharla and Robert Snow dive deep into the intricacies of mastering conflict and communication within relationships. This time they are not alone, Robert and Sharla were special guests for The Body Pod Podcast, with Hailey Happens Fitness and Love By Laura.The episode explores the Gottman Institute's research on predictors of divorce, highlighting the importance of avoiding detrimental conflict behaviors. Sharla and Robert share insights on strategies such as 'adult timeouts' and self-soothing techniques, emphasizing the significance of empathy, trust, and positive communication in creating emotional safety...2024-04-031h 06Master Your MarriageCommunicating Needs in Relationships, Part 4 (The Art of Saying No)This is Part 4 in a 4 Part Series on Navigating Needs In RelationshipsIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the art of saying no and creating boundaries without pain. They emphasize the importance of saying no to requests from our partners compassionately, to maintain connection and avoid resentment. They explore the concept of resentful accommodation, where we meet the needs of others at the expense of our own needs and desires. The hosts provide examples of how resentful accommodation can manifest in relationships and the negative impact it can have. They also offer a three-step framework...2024-03-2730 minMaster Your MarriageCommunicating Needs in Relationships, Part 3 (Asking Without Starting A Fight)This is Part 3 in a 4 Part Series on Navigating Needs In RelationshipsIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the importance of expressing needs effectively in relationships. They highlight the role of unexpressed and unspoken needs in causing resentment. The hosts emphasize the need to make clear observations without evaluation or judgment and to honestly and effectively express feelings. They outline the four elements of a compassionate request: clear observations, expressing feelings, articulating specific needs, and making a specific request without sounding like a demand. The hosts acknowledge the challenges of building trust in requests and...2024-03-2026 minMaster Your MarriageCommunicating Needs in Relationships, Part 2 (Identifying Unmet Needs)Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionThis is Part 2 in a 4 Part Series on Navigating Needs In RelationshipsIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the science of needs and how to express them in a healthy way. They highlight the destructive communication patterns that sabotage getting needs met and provide strategies for transforming communication. The importance of becoming conscious of needs is emphasized, and an exercise is shared to help listeners translate judgments into needs. The epis...2024-03-1328 minMaster Your MarriageCommunicating Needs in Relationships, Part 1 (What is Anger?)Values Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionThis is Part 1 of a 4 Part Series on Navigating Needs In RelationshipsIn this touching episode, Robert and Sharla Snow openly share a personal encounter with anger, offering a genuine glimpse into their imperfect moments. They delve into the nuanced nature of anger, challenging preconceptions and drawing insights from Dr. John Gottman's research. Practical steps for transforming anger are introduced, accompanied by a self-awareness exercise for listeners. The episode underscores the transformative powe...2024-03-0824 minMaster Your MarriageThe Secret To Happiness In MarriageValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIf you have a question you would like addressed, call us! Leave your question in a recorded message which we may select to be played on a future episode. That question line is 801-669-8513.SummaryIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the pursuit of happiness in relationships. They explore the illusion of future happiness and the importance of finding joy in challenging circumstances. Drawing from their experience with...2024-02-2823 minMaster Your MarriageDealing With The Silent Treatment in RelationshipsValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” is now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIf you have a question you would like addressed, call us! Leave your question in a recorded message which we may select to be played on a future episode. That question line is 801-669-8513.Summary:In this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss the challenge of difficult conversations and the consequences of the silent treatment in relationships. They explain the difference between silence and the sile...2024-02-2125 minMaster Your MarriageProblematic In-Laws and Other Big Disagreements in Your MarriageValues Course “Sync Up: Aligning Values & Vision For Lasting Love” now available! Get registered here: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/in-sync-together-aligning-values--visionIf you have a question you would like addressed, call us! Leave your question in a recorded message which we may select to be played on a future episode. That question line is 801-669-8513.SummaryIn this episode, Robert and Sharla Snow discuss gridlocked conflicts in relationships, inspired by a listener's question about managing conflicts with in-laws. They explain the three types of confl...2024-02-1428 minMaster Your MarriageParenting Stress on Couples & What To Do About It w/ Colleen O'GradyBe sure to check out our new course, “In Sync Together: Aligning Values and Vision” In this episode, Sharla and Robert are joined by author, coach, and licensed therapist Colleen O'Grady for an insightful discussion on parenting, relationships, and the impact one has on the other. We talk about the challenges faced by parents, with a special focus on how these stresses can affect a couple's relationship, citing a statistic that 67% of relationships experience extreme dissatisfaction within the first three years of parenting. The episode presents practical solutions for maintaining a strong connec...2024-02-0752 minMaster Your MarriageThe Power of Co-Regulation For Healing Your Relationship“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya AngelouOne of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is a calm nervous system. That’s what co-regulation is: The way in which one person's nervous system influences another person's nervous system, creating a sense of safety and soothing. Co-regulation can be medicine for an activated, stressed-out nervous system, and as a result, it can create tremendous safety in relationships.But it’s di...2024-01-3128 minMaster Your MarriageThe Neuroscience of Safety in Relationships“Safety is not just the absence of threat.” - Sharla SnowDo you feel safe in your relationship? Does your spouse feel safe?What does ‘safety’ mean in this context? Well, more than just physical safety, it involves feeling safe, connected, and like your walls are down when you’re together.Safety in relationships cannot be overlooked. A person’s perceived safety is the foundation for healthy connection. And just because you love someone, it doesn’t always mean you feel safe with t...2024-01-2430 minMaster Your MarriageThe Benefits of Physical TouchIt’s no surprise that physical touch is an important aspect of relationships – but did you know that it has numerous benefits, including reducing stress, improving bonding, and regulating the nervous system?So why do so many people struggle with physical touch? (Even when it’s not sexual…)Well, your childhood experiences can shape your relationship with touch, and if you’re experiencing difficulty with physical touch, it is important to reflect on and heal any past wounds or conditioning related to touch.This episode will help you understand where to start and give you s...2024-01-1731 minMaster Your MarriageCreating A Marriage Vision Statement“All successful businesses have a vision statement. In businesses, if we don’t have a goal, it’s just a wish or a hope. And hope is not a good business strategy. Much the same in our relationships.” - Robert Snow In marriage, like in life, success takes intentionality. Sure, we have ‘chemistry’ and that’s a beautiful, natural way in which we connect. But once life kicks in with annoyances, differences, and the general challenges of being human, chemistry fades, and what you have left is two people who need to figure out how to make it work. 2024-01-1040 minMaster Your MarriageAre Sex, Desire, and Intimacy All the Same?You know that feeling of growing apart from your spouse over the years, where intimacy and passion seem to fade into the background as life gets busy?In this episode, Robert and Sharla join Hailey Babcock of The Body Pod to provide a glimpse of hope in their discussion of rebuilding sex, intimacy, and friendship in marriage. They share from their own experience turning things around after a rough patch, and offer practical steps like establishing daily rituals, prioritizing quality time together, and learning each other's love languages to rekindle that closeness. Reconnecting at the d...2024-01-0356 minMaster Your MarriageKeeping Passion Alive In Your MarriageWhen we come to the seemingly inevitable place in our marriage where the spark is just gone, is there a possibility of revitalizing eroticism and passion back into the relationship?ABSOLUTELY. There’s a crazy myth out there that eroticism dies over time – like it’s something that can’t be controlled. But the truth is, you have a choice to rekindle that sexual desire and excitement.The key to reviving eroticism lies in coming alive within yourself and letting go of resentment, anxieties, insecurities, and self-doubt. These things are often overlooked as a source...2023-12-2730 minMaster Your Marriage11 Sexuality Myths That Harm Your RelationshipsIf you’ve pressed play on this episode today because you’re struggling with sex in your marriage in some form, please know, you’re not alone. A lot of people and a lot of couples experience difficulties with sex. The good news is you’re here, and this episode is going to help you overcome a lot of the mental barriers that can actually be creating this challenge.“Many of the words or thoughts we use come from societal myths. But as these ideas are repeated over and over in the psyche, they will...2023-12-2031 minMaster Your MarriageEmotional Incompatibility: Is it a Dealbreaker?Break free from resentment today ➡️ https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/So you’ve heard about the 5 love languages. But have you heard about meta-emotions?Simply put, meta-emotion is how we feel about our feelings.And mismatching meta-emotions (how you feel about emotions vs how your partner feels about emotions) is probably the single most common reason couples present for counseling. Like love languages, when your partner speaks a different emotional language than you, it can cause a lot of problems in the relationship and create disconnection. It tends to lead to...2023-12-1327 minMaster Your MarriageUnlock Secrets to a Happy & Lasting Marriage w/ Antonio NevesIn this powerful episode, Antonio Neves sits down with Robert and Sharla Snow to discuss the secrets to relationship success. Some of the key topics covered include:Marriage phases and how to grow through themRed flags like contempt, complacency, and ignoring bids for connection Practical ways to put your spouse first, like daily rituals and prioritizing quality timeDeveloping marital fitness with stress-reducing conversations and acts of serviceThe importance of managing conflict positively and growing togetherSpeaking words of appreciation daily to counteract the toxicity of contemptIf you're looking to strengthen your relationship, tune into th...2023-12-0648 minMaster Your MarriageAll Couples Fight. Successful Couples Repair The Rupture💔Don’t let resentment fester - overcome it with these tools: https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ Conflict is inevitable. And if we can’t avoid it, what should we do instead? Shall we get in the fetal position and rock ourselves to sleep? Pretend conflict doesn't exist?Obviously not, guys. This is called Master Your Marriage, not Mess Up Your Marriage. So if we know that conflict is inevitable, we know there’s a certain level of acceptance that we need to grow in. But what else can we do to make sure that...2023-11-2925 minMaster Your MarriageNeeding vs. Wanting: Can You Choose To Love?“Needing may feel like wanting, but it comes from the worst in us. It comes from a poorly developed sense of self, where we need our partner to soothe our anxiety, boost our ego, and constantly agree with us.” - SharlaOuch, that hurts, doesn’t it? We all know that being called “needy” comes with a negative connotation. But you’re not needy, right? You’re just expressing your preferences and your desires…Well, let’s see how many times we’ve probably been guilty of turning our wants into a NEED…2023-11-2233 minMaster Your MarriageWhat You THINK About Your Marriage IS Your MarriageThis $20 mini-course can help you overcome resentment ➡️ https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/Robert’s back on this episode of the Master Your Marriage Podcast, and together, he and Sharla are going to help you change how you think about your relationship.We often don’t give thoughts the credit they deserve. But our thoughts have so much power over the world around us. Including our relationships. Are your thoughts about your partner based on resentment? Are they even true? Are they mostly positive or mostly negative?If you haven’t stopped to assess your...2023-11-1523 minMaster Your MarriageDivorce, Separation, Crisis - How to CopeThis $20 mini-course can help you overcome resentment ➡️ https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ Realizing that the partner you chose to be married to will likely never give you the life you always envisioned for yourself can be a pretty terrifying reality…So, how do you hold onto your dignity and self-respect when it becomes clear that your partner can’t give you what you want?When this is the case, is there even a chance your relationship can make it without being miserable for the rest of your lives?Well, the answer is yes. But...2023-11-0825 minMaster Your MarriageBreaking the Chains of Resentment: The Astonishing Science of Forgiveness***If you're struggling with resentment, please consider joining our Forgiveness Mini-Course https://forgive.masteryourmarriagepodcast.com/ ***“Why can’t we stick to focusing on happy, positive things, rather than creating problems where problems don’t exist?” - Person on Social MediaThis was the question that came their way as Sharla and Robert shared about their weekly meeting agenda which included asking each other if there was anything they’ve done to hurt each other that should be processed and forgiven.Well, Person on Social Media, buckle up. Your mind is about to get blown....2023-11-0121 minMaster Your MarriageIs Honesty REALLY The Best Policy? Tough Situations That Make Us Think TwiceYou’ve seen those couples that just seem like they have it all together, haven’t you? They’re so good it’s almost gross. Robert calls these “unicorn relationships,” but whatever you call them, you just know they’re pretty extraordinary. So, what sets them apart? Why are they just so darn good at being together?It comes down to integrity. From doing what they say they’re going to do to looking in the mirror and admitting fault when they make mistakes, good couples are honest even when it’s not easy. 2023-10-2522 minMaster Your MarriageCatch These Complacency Red Flags Before It’s Too LateHave you found yourself wondering lately - is this all there is? Today, let’s uncover the sneaky ways complacency can creep into even the strongest relationships.In this episode, you'll learn:The subtle ways taking your partner for granted can start to pull you apartRed flags to watch for, like disregarding opinions, and brushing off bids for connectionThe power of discovering each other's core valuesAnd so much more.Sharla and Robert will guide you through their practical and simple approaches to building meaningful rituals to rekindle that spark. ...2023-10-1827 minMaster Your MarriageRepatterning the Nervous System with a HugDo you shudder at the touch of your partner? Do you feel on edge and easily triggered lately?You might not even know where it’s coming from – it just happens suddenly. And it makes having sex extremely difficult.If this describes you, you’re not alone. Most couples will experience a sense of disconnection with their partner at some point(s) in their relationship. Life happens, people change, and negative anchors start taking deep holds in our mood together.In this episode, Sharla and Robert discuss a very simple but profoun...2023-10-1119 minMaster Your MarriageThree Marriages with The Same Person“Most people are going to have two or three marriages or committed relationships in their adult life. Some of us will have them with the same person." - Esther PerelIt was just one marriage ceremony between Sharla and Robert but if you knew them as a couple in the last three decades, the distinct differences in who they were together would paint 3 completely different pictures. Like asking a child, an artist, and a color-blind person to paint the same image. They’d unlikely look even remotely similar.Change is imminent. It cannot be a...2023-10-0424 minMaster Your MarriageAre You Lacking Emotional Intelligence in Your Marriage?AI has taken over the business world. But can it help in marriage too?Maybe… if you ask it to plan dates for you. Or write your spouse a poem…No, instead, we’re in an era where we should be asking, “If not intellect, what other skill makes me stand out amongst the robots?”The answer? Emotional Intelligence. Or EQ.The ability to understand your own emotions and to accurately perceive the emotions of others is actually a skill many of us struggle with (one that robots haven’t learned yet either...2023-09-2723 minMaster Your MarriageHow to Build a Marriage That Lasts: Insights From Our Conversation With DeevoSharla and Robert are on the hot seat today as Deevo from “A Little Impolite” Podcast questions them on all things marriage, divorce, infidelity, substance abuse, childhood trauma, and even religion.It’s clear by the numbers on success rate that Marriage isn’t always easy. Here are some that are discussed on this episode:Since the early 1900s, the average age of first marriage has risen to 28 for women and 30 for men, compared to 21 for women and 24 for men historically.Cohabitation before marriage has increased over 900% in the last 50 years.In 1960, 72% of all adults were marr...2023-09-201h 10Master Your MarriageLove Without Losing Yourself: Why Differentiation MattersWhen you get married, it’s easy to become consumed in the togetherness of it all. But can too much togetherness be a bad thing? What about too much individuality?If your path to “becoming one” has felt a lot like losing two selves, this episode is for you.Robert and Sharla experienced this early on in their own relationship. Their past experiences shaped their patterns in marriage, and between abandonment issues and subconscious manipulation, they were doing more harm to their relationship than good. They were counting on each other heavily to validate their indivi...2023-09-1324 minMaster Your MarriageDisconnect to Reconnect: Why Couples Need Alone Time AwayDo any of these describe you and your relationship?- You love your spouse, but you sort of hate being alone with them- When you’re alone with your spouse, you feel bored, anxious, or uncomfortable- You’re so stressed out in life, but when you try to relax, you just can’t- You don’t trust your spouse to go on trips together without it becoming a negative experience- You’re getting bored with your sex life- Or maybe, you’ve felt like th...2023-09-0624 minMaster Your MarriageShe Complains, He Ignores. How Accepting Influence Will Change That.By the time a couple is ready to call it quits, chances are one, or both, of the parties involved have been complaining for quite some time – and eventually, someone just gets too tired of the complaining.So, how do you avoid becoming THAT couple?Well, you start by accepting influence. Being flexible enough to shift your viewpoint or response based on your partner’s feedback, taking those complaints and letting them affect you — this is what’s necessary to transform your conflicts into opportunities for connection.You might be thinking, “It’s my partner t...2023-08-3015 minMaster Your MarriageUnlocking Communication: From Gridlock To Compromise, Part 2Compromise never feels perfect.Great, now that we've got that out of the way, let's be honest about what compromise DOES feel like.It can feel like you're giving up too much... like you're losing your identity... Or like your partner is the reason you don't get your dreams fulfilled.Do these resonate with you?Well, good news. It doesn't actually HAVE to feel that way. Gottman research shows that before we start compromising at all, we need to dig deeper into understanding one another to really be able t...2023-08-2315 minMaster Your MarriageUnlocking Communication: From Gridlock To Compromise, Part 1When do perpetual problems in our relationship become a PROBLEM? When do we need to worry? When partners get so entrenched in their positions, they go into 'gridlock.' And gridlock leads to emotional disengagement and a cascade of isolation – bad news if you're looking to stay in a loving relationship.So how do successful couples handle problems? Sharla and Robert are sharing a powerful communication process that can help you identify what is really going on when you get 'stuck' with your partner. This process fosters real empathy as you seek to understand, not sol...2023-08-1616 minMaster Your MarriageDeveloping Emotional Resilience and Coherence With Debra HeslinHow are we building emotional resilience so that we can show up as our higher self in order for our relationship to grow? One proven way is through the power of our breath, something that we are all already doing anyway!Debra Heslin is in conversation today with Sharla Snow, and together, they are exploring ideas around emotional resilience, and creating 'coherence' so that our four connected systems (mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual) are in balance, allowing us to get into a healthy rhythm as we go about facing the day's challenges. Both Debra and S...2023-08-0941 minMaster Your MarriageDecoding Sexual Desire: Better Sex Through Self AwarenessHow do you see yourself? How do you see your partner? And how do you think your partner sees you? Decoding our sexual desire is the theme of this week's episode, as Sharla and Robert debunk the Hollywood ideas of what sex 'should' be like in a relationship.Together they get to the heart of what is required to maintain a deep, desire-driven relationship well into the years when cellulite and old age may traditionally start to impact the level of sexual desire for your partner that you would expect to have. Drawing on the w...2023-08-0221 minMaster Your MarriageNavigating Sex and Intimacy in Your RelationshipWhat does sex mean for you? Now ask yourself: what does sex mean for your partner? And what about intimacy? Do you and your partner have a clear understanding of each other's needs for both intimacy and sex? Sex, intimacy, and vulnerability. These three ideas end up colliding in the bedroom and either creating amazing sex and connection or creating resentment and distance in your relationship. In this week's episode of Master Your Marriage, Robert and Sharla are gingerly shining a light on the nuances of sex and intimacy because (as they of...2023-07-2619 minMaster Your MarriageBreaking Free: Overcoming Defensiveness for Stronger RelationshipsDefensiveness in relationships has become increasingly pervasive, posing a significant challenge in modern times. It hinders genuine connection, fosters negativity, and breeds resentment. However, Robert and Sharla are here to guide you toward a transformative path.Discover the psychology behind defensiveness as Robert and Sharla shed light on its roots and why it fails as a constructive coping mechanism. Armed with valuable insights, they equip you with practical strategies to overcome defensiveness and reclaim the harmony and intimacy in your relationships.Learn to navigate triggering moments gracefully as they share po...2023-07-1922 minMaster Your MarriageBuilding Love Maps in Relationships: Nurturing Lasting Connection and Intimacy{Get the guidebook that accompanies this episode: "Building Love Maps Guidebook, a practical guide to rich and meaningful conversations}Even the best therapy in the world won't work if it only focuses on conflict and fails to focus on building friendship and positive systems of affection with your spouse. In today's episode, Robert and Sharla introduce a skill to help you create a deeper and more fulfilling relationship with your partner. This skill, known as "love maps," was created by Dr. John Gottman. Love maps refer to the knowledge and un...2023-07-1221 minMaster Your MarriageTransforming Thought Habits: Creating Peace in Relationships and LifeAs humans, we all have specific thoughts that don't bring the desired results. These thoughts can make our lives more difficult and cause hardships in our relationships. You may not have chosen them. You may have absorbed them when you were a child, and you have carried them during your life. But the good news is that these thoughts can be changed. In this episode, Robert interviews Sharla to uncover their romantic relationship's different transformations, thanks to changes in their thought patterns. Sharla explains how the tools she got from neuro-linguistic prog...2023-07-0524 minMaster Your MarriageCoping With Stress as a CoupleHow do successful couples manage external stress in their relationships? Learning how to become allies with your partner and creating a buffer between the two of you and the pressures of the outside world is the subject of today's important episode.The power of stress-reducing conversations in relationships is a secret ingredient that can elevate your connection, increase your intimacy, and improve trust between you and your partner.Couples that are better equipped to manage the spillover of stress into their relationship are those that embrace the idea of teamwork – seeing their partner as their al...2023-06-2820 minMaster Your MarriageYes, Words MatterWhat if there was a better way for your words to have their intended effect on your partner? Honest, non-defensive words have the power to reverse a difficult interaction and restore connection and intimacy in our relationship. How we learn to speak more gently for greater effect is achieved by first appreciating the difference between content and context in any challenging conversation. Robert and Sharla are delicately defining this for us, as well as providing us with the practical tools required in the heat of the moment, such as expressing your 'starting position' with regard to...2023-06-2118 minMaster Your MarriageDeveloping Emotional Safety In RelationshipsHave you ever thought about your partner, 'Can I trust you?' Are there things you want to tell them but don't, because you're afraid of how they will react? If something is holding you back from sharing your feelings with your spouse, or if you and your partner get defensive when negative emotions get brought up, then today's episode of Master Your Marriage is just for you. Developing emotional safety requires trust and commitment. Trust is a precursor for commitment, creating a wonderful by-product that is emotional safety. In fact, research has proven that co...2023-06-1419 minMaster Your MarriageWhat to Do When Fights Go From Bad to Worse?What does it mean when we become 'flooded' during a stressful conversation with our spouse? Last week Robert and Sharla unpacked our emotional 'triggers,' which could lead to 'flooding' – the theme of this week's scientifically strategic episode.It turns out that taking a break during an argument with a loved one can be healthy. It doesn't always make sense to push through a tough conversation just to prove we are invested in our marriage. When we are triggered into a 'fight or flight' response, it can cause us to disconnect emotionally, leading to behaviors tha...2023-06-0728 minMaster Your MarriageIdentifying Triggers That Derail RelationshipsI'm triggered! We hear those words more and more these days, but what does it actually mean? And more importantly, how can we get better at managing our own triggers?In today's episode of Master Your Marriage, hosts Robert and Sharla are providing us with the tools we need to better navigate conflict in our own relationship. This starts with a clear definition of what a trigger is and continues with learning how to identify them (and perhaps even their source of origin). Whether you get triggered by your loving partner or a stranger on a...2023-05-3125 minMaster Your MarriageUnderstanding Emotional Baggage in RelationshipsHow do we go about creating change on an unconscious level? Perhaps you haven't quite harnessed the power of your unconscious mind and are curious to know what it is capable of achieving. What could harnessing that power bring to your relationship?Call it what you like – the subconscious, unconscious, or even preconscious mind – Sharla and Robert are sharing how that part of ourselves simply wants more. And what we feed it is up to us. It can be knowledge and positivity, or it can be perpetuating negative belief systems that may stem from childhood wounds like aban...2023-05-2425 minMaster Your MarriageThe Magic Hour: A Weekly Marriage MeetingAre you looking to bring more peace and harmony into your relationship? A State Of The Union needn't just be a presidential wartime address. In another wonderfully impactful episode of Master Your Marriage, Robert and Sharla are offering us their version of a 'State Of The Union.'There are five key steps involved in having an effective weekly check-in with your partner that will no doubt prove to be a total game changer if you are looking to turn your hearts towards one another. Because, let's face it: never before has there been so m...2023-05-1722 minMaster Your MarriageKids or Marriage, Who Comes First?Is it possible to prioritize your marriage without sacrificing your children's needs? Robert and Sharla believe so, and in this episode, they're demonstrating exactly how you can put your children's needs first while also prioritizing your marriage.There's a biological maternal imperative that kicks in when a child is born. Left to linger for too long (consider a child sleeping in the parent's bed as an example), it can cause resentment. The spouse may find themselves way down the family pecking order over time, prioritized even after the family pet!And while...2023-05-1022 minMaster Your MarriageHow to Work Through a Past FightAre you ready to roll up your sleeves and process a past fight? Fear not. Today, Robert and Sharla are providing you with a tool for effective repair conversations. And to show you how it's done, this masterfully married couple will be processing one of their past fights (they prefer to call them 'regrettable incidents'), and showing you how to let go of stubborn resentments, deal with past hurt, and empathetically engage with your partner. There are some ground rules to consider (avoiding criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and snowballing), and there are five st...2023-05-0326 minMaster Your MarriageHow Gratitude Strengthens MarriageIs there something you had that you didn't know how good it was until you lost it? Don't wait until your relationship is over, poisoned by resentment, to start practicing gratitude. Gratitude is a conscious practice where we actively go looking for things to appreciate in our spouse and in our relationship. Practicing gratitude can not only dissolve our resentments, but it can also shift our habits, and help us see the positive in what we already have. How can we appreciate those around us in ways that aren't too conditional, so that our gratitude wil...2023-04-2620 minMaster Your MarriageHow Resentment Destroys Intimacy, and 3 Steps to Repair ItIs there a disagreement with your partner that you are still hanging onto? Is the lingering resentment getting in the way of your love? Today Robert and Sharla are talking about resentment – and providing you with three simple steps to overcome it. Just like the pile of junk in your basement that starts to build up as your clutter gets pushed out of sight for convenience's sake, so too does resentment accumulate, just waiting for you to trip over it in the dark, and start another argument with your loved one. Resentment can blind you to w...2023-04-1921 minMaster Your Marriage5 Ways To Better IntimacyWhat is the minimum commitment level you need to achieve if you don't want things to deteriorate in your relationship? How many dates are enough? And how much time should you spend talking to each other? Human connection is a basic human need. Today we are addressing intimacy – how to improve it, how to feel 'seen' by our partner, and how to experience greater empathy as a result.There are five categories of intimacy that you can address as you become the master architect of your relationship. Spoiler alert: it's not all about sex. Though we...2023-04-1224 minMaster Your MarriageStop Escalating Fights With This Secret Weapon: Repair AttemptsWhat can you do to stop a fight from escalating? Surely there’s a better way to argue? If you feel like your communication with your partner sometimes takes a disrespectful turn, then today’s episode is for you. Robert and Sharla are sharing one of their favorite interventions in couples coaching: it’s a tool to stop couples from letting negativity spiral out of control. Understanding repair attempts begins with appreciating the philosophy that your marriage or relationship is an infinite game that you are constantly wanting to extend by never actually ‘winning.’ Approaching...2023-04-0524 minMaster Your MarriageWhat's the #1 Relationship Poison?Have you ever felt put down, mocked, belittled, shamed, or called names in what you thought was a 'loving' relationship? Or have you perhaps been guilty of sarcasm, eye-rolling, and passive-aggressive communication that has slowly poisoned a relationship that you didn't mean to?Sharla and Robert are discussing the number one predictor for a divorce: contempt. Once this poison sets in, divorce, on average, happens in about 6 years. Trust us, you're going to want to listen to this episode to the end to fix this problem and save your relationship.Was contempt a part of...2023-03-2929 minMaster Your MarriageSigns of a Failing Marriage (Criticism)Saying 'I need help with the dishes' to your spouse is far better than saying 'you are so lazy.' Asking 'why are you always on your phone at dinner?' is not as helpful as expressing that you miss the connection that being with your partner brings when they don't bring their phone to the dinner table.Today, Robert and Sharla are sharing a three-step formula for reducing marital conflict by giving those conversations that we often end up having a more gentle start. How to have constructive conflict is the key to being in a...2023-03-2223 minMaster Your MarriageHow To Stop The Cycle of Fighting In a RelationshipIs marital conflict normal? How about natural? Could it even be necessary? Sharla and Robert are here to prove to you that it's a resounding 'yes' to all three questions – and that after this episode, you'll never look at conflict the same way again. Robert has a sexy radio voice from a late flight and he's also brought back with him a 30,000 feet-high point of view with regard to respecting the differences he and Sharla share on raising their son. Sharla is boots on the ground (not shoveling snow), and together, this masterful couple is help...2023-03-1524 minMaster Your MarriageThe Secret to Staying in LoveHow do we keep that early, ‘in love’ feeling alive? If the romance has started to taper off in your relationship, fear not! Robert and Sharla are here to breathe life into your relationship with an inspirational visualization technique to help you fire up your love strategy. If you’ve been buying your partner gifts, treating them to fancy dinners, and leaving thoughtful, romantic notes — and it’s still not working — then the chances are good that you aren’t employing the appropriate love strategy for your partner to feel loved in the way in which they need to feel lo...2023-03-0820 minMaster Your MarriageHow Trust and Vulnerability Can Save Your MarriageIf trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, how do we get it back when it starts getting eroded? Robert and Sharla are playing with a delicious paradox today: the idea that trust requires us to be vulnerable — and yet being vulnerable requires trust. Through personal, relatable examples as a couple, plus some Brené Brown insights, this power relationship couple proves that vulnerability is not weakness. Rather, vulnerability is a strength. The myth that vulnerability is weakness is dangerous to any relationship. We need to break that cycle as our relationships depend on it. There...2023-03-0121 minMaster Your MarriageRedefining CodependencyDo you really need another person in your life to be happy, healthy, and reach your greatest potential? When viewed like this, is codependency such a bad word? Sharla and Robert aren't sitting on the fence on this one. In fact, they are challenging the stigmas around the word codependency and the way society teaches us to apply that label indiscriminately — and oftentimes detrimentally.Their reasoning is backed by compelling evidence that ranges from the way mushrooms form underground networks in forests as a way to strengthen through connection, to studies on attachment, the Dependency Paradox, and th...2023-02-2221 minMaster Your MarriageCreating Connection RitualsHow do we create a shared, purposeful, and meaningful life together while still appreciating our differences? This is the question Robert and Sharla Snow set out to answer in this poignant and impactful episode of Master Your Marriage. The answer lies in our understanding of rituals. Or perhaps more specifically, connection rituals as they apply to couples that may find themselves ‘flying off’ in the opposite direction to each other. Drawing on personal experience as a couple that thrives in each other's company, Robert and Sharla lay out a plan for how you can achieve this i...2023-02-2218 minMaster Your MarriageThe Complacency TrapComplacency in marriage is the hot topic in this inaugural episode of Master Your Marriage. Robert and Sharla Snow are sharing the techniques and tips that they've acquired in over 31 years of marriage together. They are bringing value not only by dropping knowledge from scientific-based ideologies such as neurolinguistic programming and the Gottman Method – but by providing actionable steps for you to apply in your marriage today. There's a powerful visualization technique in the latter half of the episode that is both powerful and moving and might even give you goosebumps as you recall why you...2023-02-2222 minMaster Your MarriageWelcome to Master Your MarriageThe average couple waits 6 years to get help in their marriage. That's 6 years of pain, hurt, frustration and lost opportunity. This podcast is designed to help you NOT become a part of that statistic.Hosted by Dr. Robert and Sharla Snow — themselves married for 31 years — The Master Your Marriage show is here with straight-talking guidance on how to fill your marriage with fun, friendship and love, without it ever feeling like "hard work."No matter how long you've been struggling with your marriage, or how long it's been since you've felt that "spark," we pr...2023-02-0301 min