Shows
StepmonsterImposter Syndrome & New Stepmom AdviceThis episode is all about having imposter syndrome as a stepmom, and how to best deal with it. Spoiler alert: you DO BELONG IN THEIR LIVES, and you're doing great.
We also talk about our best advice for NEW stepmoms - things we wish we could have done differently, and our best tips to succeed as a stepmom.
2023-04-2838 minStepmonsterMinisode | He Slept with His Ex Now We’re Back TogetherMinisode submission: ...."Fast forward to 2021, six months in our new home, and my fiance lets it slip that he had actually slept with his ex-wife BEFORE coming over to my house to tell me he wanted to work on his marriage back in 2018. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was thinking how he was such a good guy but all along he had cheated on me with his ex. The response I received was that this was three years ago so I just shouldn't worry about it and should be glad that we are together now...2023-01-3118 minStepmonsterMinisode | Tweens, Divorce Threats, & Should She Stick it Out?This minisode talks through one stepmom's challenges with her 12-year-old stepkid who is particularly difficult. Refusing to get along, is annoyed by everything, and then on TOP of all of that, her hubs says if she can't figure out how to get along with his kid, he might want a divorce. Should she stick it out? Is it worth it? Hear our take.
2022-11-0912 minStepmonsterAcceptance, Expectations & Finding Stepmom SupportAs stepmoms, we constantly battle with the need to feel accepted. In this episode, we talk about:
The difference between acceptance and appreciation?
What should we expect in our homes, if anything?
Having certain expectations we may have had early in our stepmom journey and how to overcome them with or without the support of those around you.
Finding support as a stepmom is HARD! Who are the right people to vent to? Why or why not?
2022-11-0234 minStepmonsterMinisode | Stepson Challenges & Learning to DisengageThis minisode covers a submission from one of our listeners surrounding her stepson, who has been increasingly disrespectful and ungrateful. Layered on top of an already complex situation involving false allegations, CPS, and losing custody of two kids already - this one is a challenge. Listen in as Bailey and Alyse give this stepmom advice on how to disengage and handle her specific situation.
2022-10-2608 minStepmonsterFamily Courts, Prenups & Catching UpWe're BACK! Spend the first 10 minutes catching up on life with us, but if you want to skip RIGHT to the meat of the episode, skip to minute 11.
In this episode, Bailey and Alyse talk through the challenges which come along with having to deal with family courts, or as Alyse calls it, "the clown show". We talk through ways to handle situations thrown your way and then dive in on prenups in a blended family situation.
**Disclaimer: This episode does not serve as legal advice. For legal advice applicable to your individual s...2022-10-1932 minStepmonsterHigh Conflict Parenting & Alienation w/ Psycho-Legal Consultant Joseph GoldbergWe are so excited to have Joseph Goldberg as a guest on our show. His last three years have been devoted to the study of research that explains the causal factors of high conflict interpersonal disputes, and family relational problems. The new factors from the neurobiological research put a new spin on not only what causes these problems to surface, but what parents can now do to resolve their ruptured relationships with their children.
MORE ABOUT JOSEPH:
Joseph Goldberg is a recognized expert in parental alienation. He is a Psycho-Legal Education and Litigation Supp...2022-07-0144 minStepmonsterMinisode | Are Apologies from BM Genuine?In this minisode, we unpack a historically tumultuous situation between a stepmom, her partner, and his ex-wife, who has shown to be high conflict. She wants to apologize to the stepmom, but the question remains: is it genuine? And even if it is, are we obligated to accept?
2022-06-0711 minStepmonsterAuthor & Board-Certified Educational Therapist Shawn Shares Her Stepmom Journey
Shawn Simon, MA, is a Board Certified Educational Therapist who works with children. Therefore, when she met the man of her dreams, who just happened to come with a couple of kids, she thought being a stepmom would be a breeze. She was wrong. However, as someone born with only one arm, she’s learned to overcome obstacles. Thus, she knew she could face the challenges of step-mothering. Shawn is published in the Association of Educational Therapists’ Journal and is an award-winning inspirational speaker in her field. She lives in Southern California with her husband, two step-kids, three rescue dogs...2022-05-1345 minStepmonsterMother’s Day Prep: Expectations, Gifts, & Recognition for StepmomsPerhaps our most important episode of the year, this one is fully dedicated to talking about all things Mother's Day (after a brief 4-min awkward story from Bailey). We talk about how to set proper expectations for yourself, your partner, and your stepkids for the day. We share our own feelings around gift-giving, being a childless stepmom celebrating, and all things in-between.
2022-05-0628 minStepmonsterMinisode | ”Game Over” for this BM Who is Trying to Out-Crazy Them AllIn this episode, we review a story from stepmom "Mrs. M" who has dealt with more than her fair share of insanity during her stepmom journey thus far. From stalking to restraining orders, name-calling, and insane manipulation - how do you even survive this as a stepmom? We share our advice on how, despite all the crazy in her world, she can bond with her stepdaughter.
Also - even though it's marked explicit, we have a few f-bombs in this episode so if you're offended... skip it. :)
2022-04-2919 minStepmonsterGrief & Shame as a Stepmom - Firsts, The Life You Didn’t Have w/ Guest Megan McLarenIn this episode we welcome guest, Megan McLaren. Megan resides in Alberta and is a mom to twins, stepmom, social worker, and certified life coach. We tlk through Megan's experience as a stepmom and how she overcame grief and grieving the life she never got to have. She missed out on being the first wife, the first birthing experience, and many other things with her now-husband, but Megan didn't let that stop her from finding joy and happiness through her struggles. We talk through that, and:
Changing dynamics when you have an "ours" baby
Feeling shame f...2022-04-1852 minStepmonsterMinisode | Bad Behavior, Walking on Eggshells, & ResentDuring this episode, we read a situation from one of our very own stepmom friends who is dealing with a tough situation all around. Between feeling like a stranger in her own home, constantly walking on eggshells, a High Conflict Bio Mom (HCBM) to deal with, and a stepdaughter who is lashing out behaviorally, she's drained. We walk you through her story and give our best advice on how to move forward.
2022-03-0814 min
StepmonsterDouble Standards as a StepmomThis episode is all about the hottest topic now in the stepmom community: DOUBLE STANDARDS. Why is it that we rally around a parent who says "I need a break" but criticize a stepmom for saying the same thing? Whether it's being able to say "mom things", attending doctor's appointments or sporting events, or simply being welcomed into a "mom" community - it's something we always deal with.
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Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/stepmonsterpodcast/support2022-02-2735 min
StepmonsterMinisode | How close is too close to the bio-mom?In this episode, we read a submission from a stepmom struggling with the relationship her husband has with his ex. We unpack her story and ask ourselves where the lines are: how close is TOO close? When do you have the right to feel uncomfortable (spoiler: you have the right to feel uncomfortable whenever you please)?
2022-02-0613 min
StepmonsterDisrespectful stepkids, a partner that doesn’t get it, & how to handle it allThis episode digs into all things disrespect-related. Maybe your stepkid makes your home a living hell. Maybe they talk down to you. Maybe they don't respect your boundaries. Hear from Bailey and Alyse how to handle this, how to prevent it, and how another stepmom has handled this herself.
2022-01-2838 min
StepmonsterMinisode | HCBM, Manipulation, and Stepmom HateThis episode is a mini from a stepmom submission who is dealing with an extreme scenario. In this case, the biomom is actually a therapist (won't be referring anyone to her after hearing this), but is severely manipulating her kids to actively dislike the stepmom. Between inappropriate messages to her ex, saying things that aren't true, and actively trying to keep the stepmom away from the kids, this episode is packed with all the things.
Bailey and Alyse spend 6 minutes catching up on life, so if you want to skip directly to this part, head to 7:00, and...2022-01-1418 min
StepmonsterDifferent houses & rules, being the strict house & long-distance custody with guest, CherylIn this episode, we welcome guest Cheryl (who also happens to be Bailey's momma). Cheryl has been what we'll call sandwiched right in the middle of a blended family - having been through a divorce herself, having full custody of her daughter, and dealing with what it's like to have a kid switch between two DRAMATICALLY different households. She also has an "ours" baby of her own and is re-married. Her perspective is one we found to be incredibly relatable to stepmoms dealing with different situations, specifically:
Having kids go between houses with different parenting styles
Long-distance custody...2022-01-0432 min
StepmonsterMinisode | (TW) Emotional Abuse, Protecting Your Stepkids, Should you Stay?*TRIGGER WARNING: EMOTIONAL ABUSE*
In this episode, we read a submission from a stepmom in a tough situation. With a partner who struggles with addiction and often lashes out at the kids and her, and who tries to put the stepmom in a situation where she is a supervising party to court-mandated supervised visits. We try to pick through the information and give our best advice on how to handle this situation. It's worth noting that while we don't have ALL the information, we felt as though we had enough information to give sound advice.
...2021-12-1412 min
StepmonsterCoparenting between Biomom and Stepmom: What you should know w/ Guest Angelina (BM), and Kelly (SM)Kelly and Angelina are unlike any stepmom and biomom duo we've met to date. Their relationship didn't start out with hugs and mutual respect. It took a lot of self-awareness, work, and reflection from each of them to get to the point where they could successfully co-parent the same kids together. Sure, it could be awkward that Kelly is married to Angelina's ex-husband... but these two brilliant ladies have figured out a way to put the kids first, and build a bond together that is so incredible and unique. Hear from each of them in this episode what it...2021-12-0742 min
StepmonsterMinisode | In-Laws Still Close to BM, Chauffeur Duties for KidsOur mini-episodes are entirely dedicated to sharing YOUR story. Each episode features one submission from our followers where we read the situation and give our take. Here is this week's submission:
So my main complaint for years now has been the fact that his family was so happy that I came into their son's life. They saw a light they had never seen in him. They were always unhappy with how hubby and bio mom treated each other and left early on several occasions. I felt like I was a breath of fresh air for them. Hubby’s...2021-11-2014 min
StepmonsterFinances, Clothes Debates, Expense-Sharing, & Stepmom ObligationsThis episode is all about financial considerations in a stepmom role. We discuss everything from a stepmom's obligation to contribute financially (or not), sharing expenses such as clothing and extra-curricular activities, and even wills and estate planning with stepkids involved. Here's a full breakdown:
0:00 - 4:55 - Catch up, wine adventures, odd noises @ our airbnb
4:55 - 6:00 - Intro to Stepmom financial planning complexities
6:00 - 11:15 - Finance convos to have early in your relationship & accepting child and spousal support amounts
11:15 - 16:30 - general financial obligations of a stepmom
16:50 - 23:00 - School clothes & supplies financials
23:00...2021-11-0545 min
StepmonsterMinisode | Manipulative BM, No Court Order, Bed-Wetting, & Behavior ConcernsOur mini-episodes are entirely dedicated to sharing YOUR story. Each episode features one submission from our followers where we read the situation and give our take. In this episode, we unpack a complicated situation where there is no court order in place and a biomom who seems to want to make changes on the fly that are convenient for her. This situation is causing things like bed-wetting, behavior challenges, and schoolwork declines in the 8-year-old stepson.
Also, a little humble brag, we were recently featured on a "Top 15 Stepmom Podcasts" list, and we are so grateful! Check...2021-10-3114 min
StepmonsterParental Alienation & Always Feeling DefensiveParental Alienation is defined as "something which primarily occurs during a high-conflict divorce in which the child identifies strongly with one parent, usually the custodial parent. The other parent is hated and rejected without any justifiable reason, such as abuse." (Source: WebMD). If you have ever found yourself asking any of these questions... this episode is for you; why does my stepkid dislike me so much? what is their parent actually saying about me that's untrue? or why does it seem like my stepkid is incapable of forming their own opinion?
We dig into the depths of...2021-10-1938 min
StepmonsterGrowing up w/ ADHD & Autism Spectrum Disorder: Inside the mind with guest, AustinIn this episode, we have a special guest! Bailey's 25-year-old brother Austin joins us. Austin was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7, and Asperger's Syndrome (now formally called Autism Spectrum Disorder) at age 14. He gives us all a glimpse into his childhood journey and discusses the challenges he had in school, making friends, and even now as an adult. We also talk about Bailey's stepson, who was diagnosed with ADHD and the role stepmoms could or should play in some of these larger medical decisions and management.
We also discuss:
IEPs
504
Different types of behavioral challenges
2021-09-0632 min
StepmonsterBack to School, Stepmom Involvement, Events, & DisengagingWe're discussing all things school-related for stepmoms in this episode. Here's a full list of topics covered:
Back to School
Stepmom Involvement
Stepmom School Rights
Registration
Parent-Teacher Conferences
Homework Management
School Events
Graduations
Disengaging
2021-08-2333 min
StepmonsterBeing the Uncool House & Parallel vs. Co vs. Counter ParentingIn this episode, we talk a lot about being the strict house or the uncool house, and the major differences between parallel parenting, co-parenting, and counter-parenting. Here are some time-stamped topics:
0:00-6:00: Alyse & Bailey catch up, discuss this weekend's AZ stepmom happy hour, and discuss cocktails.
6:00-9:35:The differences between parallel, co-parenting, and counter-parenting
9:35-10:50: Bailey breaks down what type of parenting (ish) they have & being the strict household.
10:50-12:50: Intermission (LOL) Alyse shares a random sweet stepdad encounter that successfully co-parents.
12:50-15:38: Discussing tense parenting
15:38-19:15: Different houses, different rules, handling major household disagreements, crazy transition schedules...2021-08-1238 min
StepmonsterCustody, Child Support, Stepmom Rights & Advice w/ Family Law Attorney, Koryn SheppardEpisode topic guide:
Custody & Evaluations [3:00]
Stepmom Involvement & Rights [5:34]
How Koryn's perspective as a family law attorney has changed since becoming a stepmom [9:30]
Schedule Changes, Schedule Rule Breakers [13:50]
Changing Custody Agreements [18:00]
Household & Value Differences vs. Legal Problems [23:50]
When Kids Can Give Input on Whom they Live With [26:50]
Manipulation & Alienation with the Kids [30:20]
Child Support - Determination & Changes [37:00]
Stepmoms & Social Media, Text Messages [41:00]
*DISCLAIMER* This episode is NOT legal advice and is not to take the place of any conversations with an attorney. This information is simply a perspective from a fellow stepmom. For advice on how to handle...2021-07-2252 min
StepmonsterParenting Coordinators, HCBM Wisdom, & Handling Accusations*DISCLAIMER* This episode is NOT legal advice and is not to take the place of any conversations with an attorney. This information is simply a perspective from a fellow stepmom. For advice on how to handle your specific situation, please contact a licensed attorney in your state.
Now for the fun stuff: In this episode, we talk with Alex, a newly married, childless stepmom with THREE bonus kiddos. Alex has recognized a gap in the stepmom community around a particular topic: Parenting Coordinators. A parenting coordinator is appointed when two parties (parents) can't agree on how to...2021-07-0139 min
StepmonsterDisengaging, Parenting Disagreements, & Tough Convos w/ your PartnerIn this episode, we unpack the idea of disengaging (together in person for the first time!). The how, the why, the when. With the kids, with the bio mom, or even with parenting in your own house. We also touch on how to handle disagreements in parenting with your SO, and share how we have handled those conversations in the past (with care... and some bribes?).
2021-06-1427 min
StepmonsterFeeling Insecure & Compared, and Discipline vs. RespectWe've all dealt with some kind of insecurities in our lives, especially in a stepmom role. In this episode, we touch on feedback directly from followers on how they've felt uncertain and insecure. We give you our best advice on how to handle feeling compared, how to be more confident in your role, and how to earn the respect of your stepkids.
2021-06-0741 min
StepmonsterInside a Stepdaughter’s Mind & Things to Avoid for StepmomsSo many of us wish we knew what it was like to walk a mile in our stepkids' shoes or just hear raw and real feelings from the horse's mouth. What should we do? What should we avoid? What are things we do to make their lives harder or easier? What were the most awkward moments about being in a blended family growing up? Now, you get the chance. Meet Zoé, Bailey's 20-year-old stepdaughter in this episode. We asked her all the toughest and most awkward questions our audience had for her. She's been a "stepdaughter" officially for almost 3 ye...2021-05-1842 min
StepmonsterMother’s Day as a Stepmom & Unfiltered Feelings About ItMother's Day gives us mixed feelings. For some of us, it's a day of celebration and time with our family. For others, it's a day filled with sadness and disappointment. With two diverse dynamics, Alyse and Bailey explore Mother's Day both as a stepmom with an "ours" baby and as a childless stepmom. Most importantly, we give YOUR feedback and feelings from Instagram their own light, by reading direct comments from our followers when asked "What does Mother's Day mean to you?"
Lastly, there were two products discussed in this episode, and you can find them here:2021-05-0154 min
StepmonsterChoosing Happy, InstaMOM Challenges, Boundaries w/ BM, & Instagram Q’sIn this episode, a good friend and fellow stepmom Kali joins us to discuss how she dealt with becoming an InstaMOMMY to her 4 stepkids when she and her husband met, followed by having a child of her own. She also shares with us (and luckily all of you) how she has managed to have a great relationship with the bio mom in her life. Having a great relationship with a bio mom is what we all want, but are there challenges with that too? You betchya. Kali shares with us how she holds boundaries with her husband, stepkids, and...2021-04-2047 min
StepmonsterSneaky Teenagers, Cell Phones, Social Media & Maintaining SanityBeing a parent to any kid is rewarding and hard all at the same time. But the teenage years? Buckle up, babes. In this episode, we share some of the best stories from our stepkids' teenage years, talk about the challenges with step-parenting and cell phones, social media, ETC. Join us for a few laughs, a few "oh my gosh she did not" moments, and our best tips on how to maintain sane during these years.
2021-04-0843 min
StepmonsterDiscipline, resent, COVID homeschooling & outsider feelings w/ full-time stepmom Joslynn FlowersWe had the pleasure of having Joslynn Flowers, host of the Daily Stepmom Podcast on this episode, and it was wonderful! Joslynn is a full-time stepmom and brings a different perspective to our listeners. We let all our guards down and talked about disciplining your stepkids, feeling resent as a stepmom, homeschooling during COVID, feeling like an outsider, and just overall had a great chat.
2021-03-2335 min
StepmonsterA StepDAD’s Perspective on Love, Challenges, & Embarrassing StoriesThis episode is packed full of fun. We'll start off by Bailey finally sharing what her step-daughter found in one of her tampon boxes (WOOPS! Parenting high over here...). Additionally, have you ever been curious as to whether or not being a stepDAD is just as hard as being a stepMOM? We were too! In this episode, you get the chance to meet Bailey's stepdad, Steve, hear about what it was like coming into a full-time step-parent role, and get to know his story a little more. He'll share tips for knowing your role in the house, talk through c...2021-03-1432 min
StepmonsterHandling the HatersListen - haters are inevitable as a stepmom. It might be the bio mom who hates you simply for marrying her ex, it might be the kids who resent you for trying to be their new mom, it may even be your husband's family, or anyone in the world. They feel justified in their feelings and we are here to tell you how we handle it all. You can't please everyone, but we need to stay sane and support each other.
2021-03-0721 min
StepmonsterBoundaries, No Nips Rules, & ”Alone-time” MishapsHow do you set boundaries with your stepkids? Your partner? The bio mom? We still aren't sure we have it 100% right, but our stumbles along the way are now for your entertainment. Hear how we set boundaries in our homes to keep sane.
2021-02-1738 min
StepmonsterBio-Dad Perspectives on Having a Wife & Ex-WifeThere are two sides to every story, and this week, we invited our husbands to tell their side. We dig in with them on what it was like to bring another "mom" into the picture, what some of the challenges they had were, and what advice they might give to others.
2021-02-1139 min
StepmonsterCo-Parenting & Communication with the Ex, Birthdays & HolidaysIn this episode we deep-dive into the different communication styles Alyse and Bailey have (or don't have) with the bio-mom. We talk through co-parenting challenges, how we handle birthdays, sporting events, and holidays... and most importantly: how we stay sane through it all.
2021-02-0134 min
StepmonsterChildless Stepmoms vs. Having an ”Ours” BabyThe decision to have a baby with your significant other is deeply personal and when you're blending into a family with children already, it can get complicated. In this episode, you'll get to hear two completely different perspectives and scenarios on having an "ours" baby.
2021-01-2528 min
StepmonsterMoving in Together and Blending Your FamilyMoving into a blended home and building an environment for all to thrive can be... HARD. There's no getting around that. On this episode we discuss all the challenges that come along with blending a home, moving into the marital home, and eventually having a home you call "ours".
2021-01-0640 min
StepmonsterMeet Bailey and Alyse, The StepmonstersBailey and Alyse are stepmoms to two kids each, and each with their own stories, challenges, laughs, and advice to give. Listen in as we discuss some of the most discussed topics between stepmoms and dads alike.
2020-12-2219 min