Shows
Hey Tabi!Why You Feel Like the “Problem” at ChurchHave you ever felt like the “problem person” at church no matter how hard you tried?In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores what happens when churches unconsciously — or intentionally — scapegoat members instead of addressing dysfunction within the system itself.Tabitha also explains how church scapegoating mirrors coercive control dynamics often seen in abusive relationships — including denial, minimization, emotional punishment, social isolation, and rewriting reality.If you’ve ever:Felt spiritually unsafe in churchBeen labeled “divisive” for asking questionsLost community after speaking upExperienced church hurt after disclosing abuseFelt like l...
2026-06-0133 minHey Tabi!You Can Love God and Still Be Done With Church (For Now)If worship music makes your chest tight, if opening your Bible brings more dread than comfort, if you still believe in God but can't bring yourself to darken the door of a church — this episode is for you.Church hurt is real, and it runs deep. It's not a crisis of faith. It's a wound — and like any wound, it makes sense that your body and soul have learned to protect themselves.In this episode, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook walks through what's actually happening when church, Scripture, or spiritual practices feel threatening, and offers gent...
2026-05-2518 min
Keeping Tabs with Tabitha HeitHow To Choose A Real Estate Agent: Without Getting Burned 🔥Choosing the right real estate agent can completely change your buying or selling experience, and in today’s market, that decision matters more than ever.In this episode of Keeping Tabs, local real estate expert Tabitha Heit breaks down the biggest mistakes buyers and sellers make when choosing an agent, what red flags to watch out for, and how to avoid getting burned during the process.They discuss why overpricing your home can backfire, how strategic pricing creates momentum, the importance of communication and education, and why not all real estate agents work the same. Ta...
2026-05-2130 minHey Tabi!CBT Isn’t the Problem… But It’s Not EnoughLicensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook takes an honest look at why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) often gets a bad rap in trauma work—and where it still holds real value.In this episode, she breaks down what CBT actually is, where it came from, and why its focus on identifying and shifting automatic thoughts can be helpful—but also deeply limited when used in a rigid, one-size-fits-all way. Tabitha explores how non–trauma-informed CBT can unintentionally minimize real harm, invalidate appropriate emotional responses, and overlook the critical roles of the nervous system, attachment wounds, dissociation, and the lived...
2026-05-1133 minHey Tabi!It Wasn’t “God.” It was Spiritual Abuse.If you’ve been hurt by the church, struggled to trust God again, or felt confused about what’s true… you are not alone.In this powerful conversation, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Rachel Clinton Chen from The Allender Center to unpack:🚩 What spiritual abuse actually is (and why it’s so hard to name)🚩 How abuse distorts your view of God, yourself, and relationships🚩 Why so many people feel like they’re “losing their faith” after church harm🚩 The role of power, fear, and control inside unhealthy church systems🚩 How to begin healing...
2026-04-271h 04Hey Tabi!Understanding Coercive Control and How to Break FreeMost people think abuse means being hit. But what if some of the most damaging abuse leaves no visible bruises at all?In this deep-dive episode, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what coercive control REALLY is and why terms like "domestic violence" or "narcissistic abuse" don't even come close to describing it.In this episode you'll learn:• Why coercive control is about taking someone's personhood, not just hurting their body• The subtle tactics coercive controllers use• Why ALL coercive control is physical abuse (yes, really)• How to r...
2026-04-2038 minHey Tabi!Does God Really Hate Divorce? What the Bible and Peer-Reviewed Research Actually SayWhat if everything the church taught you about divorce was based on misquoted research and a mistranslation? In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook sits down with the one and only Gretchen Baskerville — Christian author, speaker, and founder of LifeSavingDivorce.com — to dismantle the myths that keep abuse survivors trapped in destructive marriages.With 25+ years of biblical and evidence-based insight, Gretchen unpacks the peer-reviewed research the church rarely talks about: why divorce is not universally harmful to children, how no-fault divorce laws reduced wife homicide rates by 10% and domestic violence by 30%, and what the Dead Sea Scrolls reveal about the...
2026-04-1358 min
Beyond OrganisedPilates For Real Bodies And Real Life with Tabitha GreenSend us Fan MailBeing told “it’s just anxiety” or “it’s just hormones” can make you doubt your own body, even when you know something is off. Today I’m joined by Tabitha, a Pilates instructor and mum who is on a mission to make Pilates feel less intimidating and far more useful for real life, especially for persistent pain, prenatal and postpartum recovery, and anyone who’s felt shut out by the glossy Pilates image online.We talk about what changes after kids, from confidence and body image to the practical realities of time, energy...
2026-04-1241 minHey Tabi!Real Affirmations for Trauma Healing | Not the Toxic Positivity KindPositive affirmations get a bad rap, and honestly, some of them deserve it. But in this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook walks you through affirmations that are actually rooted in truth and designed to help trauma survivors heal.This is a practical episode. Grab a pen, download the free PDF (linked below), and let's do this together.Resources Mentioned📄 Download the Pocket Calm PDF → https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/Dscl2vqQLVhPEWYDCRd6🌿 Join the Transformational Topics Community → https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/trauma-healing-support-online/Wanna say hi? Send a text!
2026-04-0627 minHey Tabi!The Hard Truth About Suffering - What Kids and Adults Really Need to KnowWhat does suffering really mean, and what do kids and adults actually need to hear about it?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Beth Broom, licensed professional counselor, trauma care expert, and author of 10 Questions About Pain and Suffering: 30 Devotions for Kids, Teens, and Families (Crossway), for an honest, hope-filled conversation about suffering, parenting, healing, and faith.Beth shares why she wrote this devotional, how families can use it together (not just handed to a kid), and why learning about suffering before it hits...
2026-03-301h 00Hey Tabi!How Writing and Sharing Your Trauma Can Break the Silence and Set You FreeWhat if the thing you've been afraid to say out loud is exactly what could heal you?In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with story work coach Jen Vrooman — certified in Narrative Focused Trauma Care from the Allender Center — to explore one of the most powerful tools in the healing process: writing and sharing your story.Jen breaks down what story work really is, why bringing a written snapshot of harm to a safe coach or therapist can unlock what you didn't even know was there, and why the...
2026-03-161h 07Hey Tabi!Why Confession Isn't Enough: Real Recovery from Sex AddictionConfession feels like the goal—but what if it's actually the starting point? In this episode, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, to talk about what genuine recovery from sexual addiction looks like in the church. Nick shares his own story of pornography addiction, staggered disclosure, and the turning point that changed everything. They also discuss betrayal trauma, purity culture's failures, why women's sexual struggles are more common than we think, and why deep community—not white-knuckle willpower—is what actually brings lasting change.Resources Mention...
2026-03-0956 minHey Tabi!Adam Young on The Parts of Your Story You’re Afraid to NameThere are parts of your story you’ve learned not to talk about—because naming them feels disloyal, shameful, or dangerous. But avoiding those chapters may be exactly what’s keeping you stuck.In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Adam Young, licensed clinical social worker, author of Make Sense of Your Story and host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast, to talk about why healing requires honesty—and why some parts of our story feel too threatening to name.Together, they explore how storywork, trauma therapy, and the nerv...
2026-02-0951 minHey Tabi!The Hidden Damage of Emotional Suppression and How to HealWhat happens when emotions are ignored, suppressed, or labeled as “wrong”? For many trauma survivors—especially those raised in Christian spaces—emotional suppression doesn’t lead to peace or holiness. It leads to anxiety, shame, disconnection, and relational breakdown.In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Emma Ward to talk honestly about the hidden damage of emotional suppression—and how real healing begins.Together, they explore:Why emotional suppression is so common in Christian...
2026-01-2649 minHey Tabi!When the Church Gets It Right: How Abuse Survivors Actually HealWhat does it actually look like when the Church gets it right for survivors of abuse?In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and coercive control expert Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dawn Jones, founder of Restored to Thrive, a church-based ministry supporting women healing from domestic abuse/coercive control, and relational trauma.So often, abuse survivors experience silence, minimization, or spiritual bypassing in church spaces. But this conversation offers something different: a real-life example of a church that chose survivors over systems—and the healing that followed.To...
2026-01-1953 minHey Tabi!All Abuse is Physical Abuse - Neuroscience Proof and Tips to Help Survivors HealAll abuse is physical abuse—even when there are no visible bruises.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook explains the neuroscience behind coercive control and why survivors often experience brain fog, memory problems, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty concentrating long after the abuse has ended.Drawing from current neuroscience research and clinical experience, Tabitha walks through how coercive control and chronic emotional abuse can cause real brain injuries, including emotional concussions and mild traumatic brain injuries (mTBI)—and why this is s...
2026-01-1234 min
Staring Down the Storm: Autism Advocacy in AmericaFrom Flight Attendant to Autism Advocate: Getting to Know TabithaDid you know that Tabitha, our dear host and guide, grew up in rural Indiana, attended both University of Southern Indiana and Indiana State, learned French, considered the military, and then stumbled into the field she would end up working in for 17 years: a flight attendant in the airline industry?Today we present an "episode swap" - where a conversation appears on two podcasts: The MultiPod, which explores the lives and experiences of multipotentialites, and here, on Staring Down the Storm, Autism Advocacy in America.Why? Well, we often don't realize...
2026-01-0957 min
Soma RisingWhy Diets Fail (And The Identity Shift That Actually Creates Real Health)Send us Fan MailFeeling battered by January advice wars and “one perfect plan” promises? Here’s a calmer, truer way to build real health in 2026: trust your intuition, upgrade your identity, and let simple, aligned actions stack into lasting change. Tabitha MacDonald, Intuitive Coach and Bodyworker, opens with a raw look at living through ulcerative proctitis, weight gain, and the coping strategies that once felt like survival. From there, we map two shores—your current reality and your Transformation Island—and explore why most plans stall in the river between them: resistance, fear of change, and old family...
2026-01-081h 20Hey Tabi!Restoried Healing For Trauma Survivors with Melissa AffolterWhat happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again?In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma.Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why healing requires more than insight or “right thinking.” This conversation centers on the sacred role of presence, safe community, and bein...
2026-01-0554 minHey Tabi!When Churches Make Abuse Worse (And How They Can Change) with Matt ChandlerWhat happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”?In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked. Together, they explore what happens when churches lack training in domestic abuse, coercive control, & trauma dynamics, & how good intentions can still cause devastating harm. Matt speaks candidly about past failures, institutional blind spots, & what true repe...
2025-12-2951 minHey Tabi!The Ultimate Truth About Emotional Abuse in Christian Marriage (Every Survivor Needs to Hear This)Is emotional abuse being hidden behind Christian language like submission and forgiveness?In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with bestselling author Leslie Vernick to expose the truth about emotional abuse in Christian marriage, and why so many survivors are told to stay silent and endure harm.If you’ve ever wondered:Is my marriage emotionally abusive?Does God want me to stay in an abusive marriage?Am I being abused or just “too sensitive”?This conversation offers clarity, validation, and bi...
2025-12-2255 minHey Tabi!Resisting Without Becoming The OppressorWhen we’ve lived through abuse, or we spend our lives helping others heal from it, it’s shockingly easy to accidentally pick up the same tools, patterns, and power dynamics we’re trying to dismantle. In this deeply honest conversation, trauma therapist, Tabitha Westbrook, and biblical counselor that does not suck, Chelsey Gordon explore how survivors, advocates, and church leaders can resist becoming the very systems of oppression they’re fighting against.Whether you’re a survivor learning to trust again, a ministry leader navigating influence, or someone passionate about justice and healing, this episode offers compassion...
2025-12-1552 minHey Tabi!From Betrayal to True Intimacy: How Real Healing Happens for Both After Sexual Addiction & TraumaIf you’ve ever wondered whether a relationship can truly heal after sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or years of secrecy, this episode is for you.In this deeply honest conversation, Tabitha sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, authors of Building True Intimacy, and survivors of their own story of betrayal, addiction, and the long road of rebuilding trust.Together, they unpack:The process of everything shattering and the slow work of rebuildingWhy honesty and safety must come before tr...
2025-12-081h 10Hey Tabi!Is Biblical Counseling That Doesn’t Suck Even Possible? What Trauma Survivors Need to KnowWhat is good biblical counseling, really? And why is it so hard to find, especially if you’re a trauma survivor who's already been harmed by “just pray more” advice, sin-sniffing, or spiritual bypassing?In this week’s episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook (licensed trauma therapist, abuse expert, author of Body & Soul, Healed & Whole) sits down with Jacque Escue, a Certified Biblical Counselor and trauma-informed practitioner—who does not suck—to talk honestly about what healthy, safe, compassionate biblical counseling is… and what it is NOT.If you’ve ever wondered whether...
2025-12-011h 04Hey Tabi!Why Hope Isn't An Outcome, It's an AnchorWhat if everything you’ve been taught about hope is backwards? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Jenny Bayless of Fuller Seminary to talk about why hope isn’t an outcome you chase, but an anchor you hold onto when life feels unbearably heavy.If you’ve ever felt betrayed by hope, overwhelmed by suffering, or exhausted by Christian clichés that make your pain feel minimized, this conversation is for you.We dive deep into: ✨ Why survivors often shudder at the wor...
2025-11-241h 07Hey Tabi!Story > Systems: Adam Westlake on Sanctification, Shame, and HopeWhat if biblical counseling actually led to healing instead of shame? 👀 In this candid convo, worship leader–turned–biblical counselor Adam Westlake (The Worship Initiative, Shane & Shane) joins Tabitha to unpack why much “sin-detective” counseling harms survivors—and what compassionate, trauma-informed, theologically rooted care really looks like.We get into:Why story work > quick fixes (Colossians 3/Ephesians 5 vibes)Guilt vs. shame and how spiritual bypassing wounds survivorsPorn/affair recovery through curiosity (shoutout Jay Stringer)Contemplative prayer and embodied healing for anxious, high-achieversHow survivors of domestic abuse & coerc...
2025-11-1746 minHey Tabi!Parenting Spicy Kids - How to Stay Calm When You're Told To "F Off"Parenting a “spicy” teen? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Greg Wilson, LPC-S and author of When Home Hurts, to talk about raising adolescents through trauma, grief, and chaos, without losing your mind (or your compassion).Together they unpack:💥 Why your “ghost pepper” teen’s outbursts might actually be pain in disguise💥 How trauma, from loss, abuse, or today’s chaotic world, shapes behavior💥 Practical tools for parents to stay calm, connected, and regulated when kids explode💥 How to hold firm boundaries and l...
2025-11-031h 03Hey Tabi!Why Mindfulness Practice Matters for Trauma HealingHave you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse.You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, reconnects body and soul, and creates space for spiritual peace and safety. We’ll...
2025-10-2715 minHey Tabi!Getting Trauma Informed Help Online - How to Spot Red and Green FlagsOnline trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm.Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not all helpers are trained or trauma-informed. Tabitha shares what genuine, safe, healing spaces look like (rooted in evidence-based trauma care), and what kinds of onli...
2025-10-2027 min
Living TestimoniesJesus & Therapy: Breaking Stigma, Finding Healing, with Tabitha YatesIn this powerful episode, we sit down with Tabitha Yates, a survivor whose journey through trauma, mental illness, and faith has shaped a calling to speak truth and bring hope to others. Tabitha grew up in a home marked by abuse, carrying the weight of depression, anxiety, PTSD, self-harm, and even a suicide attempt into adulthood. For years, she believed her struggles were signs of weak faith—a message reinforced by the church that left her feeling abandoned in her darkest season.But Tabitha’s story didn’t end there. Through therapy and a renewe...
2025-10-1741 minHey Tabi!Pastors, Stop Enabling Harm Through Your SilenceWhen pastors teach on marriage, sex, or addiction but fail to mention abuse, survivors in the pews hear a dangerous message: stay, submit, and suffer silently.In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains why silence from the pulpit enables harm and how pastors can bring truth, safety, and compassion into conversations about marriage, sexuality, and faith.You’ll learn:Why abuse and coercive control must be named in sermons on marriage and sex addictionHow silence from church leaders can embolden abusers and retraumatize victimsWhat trauma-informed preaching looks like in re...
2025-10-1333 minHey Tabi!Reframing Intensity: Passion, Not PerilIntensity isn’t always anger—but it can really help to know the difference!In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks how to tell the difference between healthy intensity, destructive anger, and trauma-driven reactions.If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” or if someone’s passion feels like a threat, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening in your nervous system, and how to respond with grace, grounding, and discernment.You’ll learn:✨ What intensity actually is and why it often gets mistaken for an...
2025-10-0624 min