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The AscertainersEpisode 100: How to Start a PodcastSend us a text"We've been letting people down for 99 episodes!" --Jim"It's all ball bearings these days" --The guy from Ajax (a/k/a Gordon Liddy, a/k/a Irwin M. "Fletch" Fletcher)International sensation. G'day Mate!MyShirt (it took us 2 years to develop...)Our origin storyWhat you need to do your very own podcastAngel Heart sidebarYou can't go wrong with Think Drink DisneyJust Do ItBig thanks to Newt'sMichael KeatonRadio GameOld errors & omissionsShould have studiedWith apologies to Scandinavia and all of Europe#Newt's#ThinkDrinkDisneyComments or whatever: TheAsce...2025-02-2144 minThe AscertainersEpisode 99: Comedy BreakdownSend us a textThis one is another where we recorded two episodes in one night. Since this is the second of the night, the language gets a little rough (earmuffs for sure). Sorry, Mom. Also, thanks for listening!Post-middle ageAI proofPowered by Newt's home of the best burger in Apple Valley, MNStand-up comedy traumaDo comedian's think they're funny?SNL current cast reviewFridaysRadio GamePro Bowl blowsSoccer / Rugby / Formula 1Super Bowl predictions#Newts#SwearJarFeedback: TheAscertainers@gmail.comMark at a stand-up show at the 2:55 mark: Nick The Lounge Singer Sings Star...2025-02-1441 minThe AscertainersEpisode 98: Running with ScissorsSend us a textToday's effort begins with a heavily edited story about Jim's rodent exploits. It goes downhill from there.Powered by Newt'sKayla and BobShoutout Jenson Creative for our kick ass shirtsPerfume ads and other lady stuffErrors and OmissionsRadio Game"He really grew into his looks"The world's worst guess on who sang I Can See Clearly NowMerle HaggardBad at mathWhat's on your mind? TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#SorryForTheSwearsAsk for Donny and tell him we sent you: JENSON CREATIVEThe First Edition : Just Dropped In (To...2025-02-0741 minThe AscertainersEpisode 97: Bee Gee'sSend us a textBig week for The Ascertainers. Your boys hit the town to attend a Bee Gee's tribute show and looked fabulous! We also got our t-shirts in, so we feel more official.Not much of an update this week, other than (for a change) we both thought this was a pretty good episode--some laughs, some good-natured ribbing (phrasing), and of course, we break down our favorite Bee Gee's songs. They have a more impressive catalog than you might think.With the time I saved on this write up, it will all...2025-01-3144 minThe AscertainersEpisode 96: PotpourriSend us a textFeeling a tad overconfident from our last couple of episodes, we leave home without a map, compass, or a clue as to where we're going. And you get to listen to it. ENJOY!What's another word for Thesaurus?Mouse alertNewt's--Lovely Burgers!Earth Wind and Fire--Seriously??Errors & Omissions3.2 beer explainedDebbie DownerPolitical theoryR.I.P Bob UeckerRadio GameClassical influences in rockGordon's and Curt'sAscertainer's shirt updateIn case of emergency: TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#GordieHoweHattrickBob Uecker Shares a Funny Story About FootballLetterman Norm MacDonald s Bob...2025-01-2543 minThe AscertainersEpisode 95: Beer StoriesSend us a textRecorded on New Year's Eve. A masterclass in distraction.Newt's--Come for the Toast PointsThe Evil Knievel of Fish TacosPitcher NightErrors and OmissionsRadio GameBeer StoriesReach us at TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's2025-01-1747 minThe AscertainersEpisode 94: Feegee Live in StudioSend us a textSo, we were planning on saving this one for Episode 100, but let's face it--there's a pretty good chance we don't make it that far.... We welcome half of big-time rock band feegee--the ones who do our theme song--Alex and Paul. They did a great job, but somehow, Jim found the need to talk way too much. The Ascertainers theme, live and unpluggedAwkward IntrosTop-notch Kids In The Hall ReferenceNewt's--Lovely BurgersFriendship ForensicsMusical RootsRadio GameSummerfestCa$ualOutroContact us: TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#WelcomeToTheTwinCities#feegee#TVForDogs#Ca$ual2025-01-1058 minThe AscertainersEpisode 93: Yacht Rock DocSend us a textWe kick off 2025's first episode with an array of sighs. Seems about right.Daylight Savings Time: The days aren't the only thing getting longer--amiright?Pull tab bluesNewt's--It's the place to be!Pat K shoutoutSpaceX vs NASATime ZonesRadio GameYacht Rock Documentary on MAXChristopher CrossMichael McDonald / Jimmy Fallon experimentTotoSession ManThat's not Yacht Rock?Yacht Rock Web Series see link below.#Newt's #HappyNewYearLet us know what you think: TheAscertainers@gmail.comSession Man Session Man - Showtime - 1991Check this out! Yacht Rock Episode 1 From the...2025-01-0342 minThe AscertainersEpisode 92: Christmas MoviesSend us a textThis one comes in a little hot at the start. Possibly the grind of 92 weeks or so of Friday night recording sessions is taking its toll? Nah, we got back on track quickly enough. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah and has a Happy New Year! Thanks for listening!Typhoid MikeDave Foley Cameo (check out link below)Errors and OmissionsNewt's--Smash Burger Fans Unite!Mercury riffRIP Jim FixxRadio GameChristmas Movies: Christmas Vacation, Elf, Scrooged, Home Alone, A Christmas Carol, Jingle all the Way, Bad Santa, The Christmas Chronicles, Any Ha...2024-12-2745 minThe AscertainersEpisode 91: After School StuffSend us a textThis one was recorded in a matinee session the day after Thanksgiving. Hangovers were in play for two of the three involved. Jim's brother, Jeff is our guest.Canned cranberryScurvyAlmost a sports podcastShoutout Bill SNewt's has a new Burger called the Power Trip Morning Show Burger--go eat it!Radio GameAfter school stuff as kidsGilligan's IslandSnacksCartoonsMN Vikings Love Boat IncidentTaco talkHigh School hi-jinxStation wagonsTell us what you think-really: TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#Velma2024-12-2043 minThe AscertainersEpisode 90: Bands that Lost MembersSend us a textWe follow up the delightfully wholesome matinee episode with Jim's Mom with this s**t show of debauchery. Right on brand and maybe a little over the line (which, by the way, is the brand) there are laughs to be enjoyed on this one. Bon apetit.Fueled by red beerOld home week at Newt'sSweet Hot Chicken SammyErrors and Omissions--tooth talkBands that shuffled the line upDeep Purple, Pink Floyd, Journey, Whitesnake, The Who, Rush, The Beatles, Gin Blossoms, The Refreshments, The Doors., Lynyrd Skynyrd, Judas Priest, INXS#Newt's#Re...2024-12-1343 minThe AscertainersEpisode 89: A Visit From Jim's MomSend us a textIt's the beginning of the Holiday Season so we asked Jim's Mom, Ellie, if she'd like to join us and class up the joint a bit. We'd like to have Mark's Mom on, but her agent is playing hardball. Shout out Apple Valley License BureauAge gapsNewt's--Jim goes rogueMore George Washington tooth talkThe Hands StoryThanksgiving favoritesRadio GameThe ChinDrivingLife During WartimeFirst carsHeartbreakerMake a Difference!#Newt's#HappyHolidaysComments/suggestions/admonishments: TheAscertainers@gmail.com2024-12-0744 minThe AscertainersEpisode 88: 1979 AlbumsSend us a textWe got our years a little bit out of order, but this week is 1979 albums. The fall off between 1979 and 80 is kind of the beginning of the end, so we need a new premise. Some decent laughs on this one. Enjoy--and thanks for listeningYou had ONE jobMccarthur ParkNewt's Seriously Great BurgersBoat pissBootleg wineSinger transitionsPink Floyd history lesson1979 Albums--AC DC, THe B-52's, The Cars, Supertramp, Led Zep, Pink FloydGet in touch with us at TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#LakeSuperiorRichard Harris - MacArthur Park (Off...2024-11-3043 minThe AscertainersEpisode 87: 1980 Music--"Nothing Can Save It"Send us a textHere we go on a first of two recordings in one session. We haven't done a double in a while, and next week you'll find out why. Original plan was to talk 1979, but time got away, and we improvised.Bootleg/Pirate RadioPurple People EatersMark goes blueLet us salvage your weekUSA!Ta Daah!Newt's: Contract discussionsRennaissance FairBack to Newt's--Pulltab winners!Radio GameWho doesn't like Loverboy?Apologies to our last guest, Jeff SIt's a Beautiful Day in the NeighborhoodGuess Who fun fact1980's Albums--Not the worst, but a big drop offTell us wha...2024-11-2244 minThe AscertainersEpisode 86: Wisconsin in the HouseSend us a textWe were overdue for a guest, so we invited neighbor Jeff from WI to come on and impart his wisdom on us. We were going to talk about state stereotypes, but we wound up just shooting the breeze and learning a thing or two about MN's neighbor to the east. We'll do music next time. Special guest neighbor JeffNobody preparedNewt's--featuring Cory the ComedianAll the best, MJMark's civic dutyJim's chili winRadio GameRIP Quincy JonesWI/MN streerotypesJeff ate a smokeVikings/PackersNow you have a friend in the robotics businessNo bonersRIP Leinenkugels beerDairy farm factsHome, Hea...2024-11-1547 minThe AscertainersEpisode 85: 1978 Albums--Mount RushmoreSend us a textFollowing up on the smashing success of our inaugural Mount Rushmore series, we explore 1978, which happens to be a very strong year for rock music.Jim forgets his dollar--againMount Rushmore explained--againAnother thanks to feegee for our original theme musicPat K's email Eddie Money missNewt's--Apple Valley Minnesota's premiere juicy burger, ice cold beer, fresh-popped popcorn and always hot pulltab box Emporium. Check 'em out--but leave two spots at the bar for The Ascertainers if you please.Daylight savingsRadio GameHighland, NY listener--who are you??1978--what a year for rock albums!!! VH...2024-11-0847 minThe AscertainersEpisode 84: Mount Rushmore of 1977 Rock AlbumsSend us a textInstead of just talking about cool albums from a great year, 1977, Jim decides that we come up with a definitive top 4 each. Mark did not understand the assignment, which is as entertaining as it is disappointing.Mark's red beer in his giant mugVikings choke againIceland's famous Penis MuseumNewt's was HOPPING!Shoutout neighbor AmyMark feels bad about hammering Kansas and the headphone guy from the barBreadbasket shot on national TVRadio Game--ho hum, another winner!!1977 Mount Rushmore of cool albums--Skynryd, Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, Foreigner. Rush, Jackson Browne, Steve Miller, ClaptonBalls on his vestRamones f...2024-11-0143 minThe AscertainersEpisode 83: 1976 Rock AlbumsSend us a textLook, they're not all first round picks. OK?--Allen Gamble to Terry Hoitz, The Other GuysIt's not your faultMark starts swearingRight in the breadbasketNewt's--Pull tab Winners!PUP list for curling is apparently a thingRadio Game--Newt's staff picksHeadphone guy at the barAnother Shark Tank idea1976 Rock Albums--Boston, Leftoverature, 2112, Hotel California, Frampton Comes Alive and moreTheAscertainers@gmail.comFirst Round Picks: The Other Guys: He can't believe his work partner is married to someone that beautiful (youtube.com)Because Jim does these write ups: Rush - 2112...2024-10-2545 minThe AscertainersEpisode 82: 1975 AlbumsSend us a textIt's Episode 82 already. You'd think the product would be far better by now. There are actually a few good laughs on this one, so please enjoy and thank you for listening!Venus FlytrapMark's musical frustrationsJim's airport reunionMN Vikings remain undefeated at 5-0Go Lynx?Jim's wreath kidThe Schenker brothersNewts--Apple Vally MN's Premier Burger, Beer, Popcorn and Pulltab EmporiumRadio GameBoogie Shoes1975 Classic Rock AlbumsBorn to Run, Physical Graffiti, Toys in the Attic and moreSend us your favorite rock ballad: The Ascertainers@gmail.com2024-10-1848 minThe AscertainersEpisode 81: Classic Rock Albums 1970 to 1974Send us a textBack at it after a week off. Give it a listen to see if it made any difference.Visit to the Corporate OfficeNewt's Come for the Burgers, stay for Sara's new hair style!"Up North"Shoutout Jim's old friends Bruce S and Rob KHow will the Vikings blow it this year?RIP Pete Rose--they made an example out of youUpdating "the list"Heaven's GateRIP Kris KristoffersonRadio Game1970 through 1974 Classic Rock AlbumsLed Zeppelin III and IV, Black Sabbath Paranoid, Who's Next, Doors, Dark Side and moreFrank Zappa--the original Jesse Ventura#Newt's#B...2024-10-1143 minThe AscertainersEpisode 80: Washed Up SingersSend us a textDue to our very demanding social calendars, we couldn't record on our normal night, so we grabbed this episode off the top shelf of the pantry--next to the Cream of Tartar and coffee filters for a pot no longer owned.Mark's movie review of GoShoutout to Mark's buddy and former Ascertainers guest, SteveAre we killing off rock stars?Sorry Rachel MaddowEmphasize the knobSnoop Dogg takeoverNewt's--Also has SaladsCook it yourselfRadio GameShoutout Dillinger FourSingers who should have hung it up earlierYet another Rush monologue#Newt's#PilotKnobRoadClassic Chappelle Show...2024-10-0444 minThe AscertainersEpisode 79: Amazing Rock TriviaSend us a textWe think we may have found a loophole to play music without being sued. Stay tuned and save up bail money for us just in case.Newt's--still #1 in our hearts, livers and stomachs. Go there!Should we go green?Mark spurs international tensionThe big watchPickpocket vs Peeping TomRadio Game*Who's better than Rob Halford?Hooked on a FeelingObscure Rock Facts/TriviaBrian JonesSpinal Tap and Grateful Dead share dark connectionTravelling WilburysMount Rushmore of Underrated bandsThanks for the text Charlie!Longest running fan club**You'll never guess what Mama Cass and Keith Moon have in...2024-09-2842 minThe AscertainersEpisode 78: Early Album InfluencesSend us a textToday we are joined by multi-episode guest, Jason. This one is the second attempt of the night as the first one got a little too real (colonoscopies were discussed). This one is pretty fun, though.Apologies to Dr SeussJerry Garcia's nubRadio GameFirst 8oo8 witnessed in a movieNational GeographicNewt's--Jalapeno Popper Burger. Give it a try!Yes shoutoutInfluential Albums: Kiss, Grand Funk, Paul McCartney, VH2, Motley Crue, Supertramp, Def Leppard, Black Sabbath, Rush, Grateful DeadCar StereosDrop us a line at TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newts#Kleptos#StatuteOfLimitationsBac...2024-09-2147 minThe AscertainersEpisode 77: Songs with Names in the TitleSend us a textDripping with overconfidence from the previous episode, our heroes realize that luster will soon fade, so they barely even try on this one. They lean into the suck. Enjoy!Another one bites the dustBest of the worst?Easily DistractedErrors and OmissionsNewt's--Legendary TotsRadio Game --the pot growsJim's non-partisan political observationsCheck out these ballsSongs with names in the titleThe Layla "discussion"BangkokSuggestions: TheAscertainers@gmail.com#Newt's#ForgettingSarahMarshall The weather outside is weather - YouTube#IsHeDown? Luke Bryan’s cameraman be like .... 😂😂😂Via: @bryanandrewsmusic (youtube.com)2024-09-1343 minThe AscertainersEpisode 76: PizzaSend us a textTaking a rare break from music (pause for laughter) to bring you a universally popular topic--Pizza. Of course, we get to it and then distract ourselves a time or three. During Errors and Omissions, we get very close to passing out while laughing. Sci Fi philosophyJim's gets his podcast review from MarkJay MohrBrokeback denialNewt's promo--we again get sidetracked, but maybe it's working?Errors and omissions--Donkey talk that gets out of handRadio Game--MARK WINS*Fleet Farm explainedPizza talkA few left and right turns while talking pizza, but we tried to stay on track...2024-09-0646 min