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The Cannon CanonHELLBOUND + "Goodbye"...for now (w/Frank & Geoff)"ROYAL BLOOD!" Well, Cannonheads. The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) have one last Cannon hurrah before shooting up the coffin of The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Canon is taking an indefinite hiatus (possibly returning with a new format/focus in the future) and what better way to send us off than with Cannon's "final" movie, HELLBOUND!
In this episode, The Cannon Bros reminisce about their 4-year run and FINALLY try Bronson's cologne, Mandom! We chat about the wild tone shifts of Hellbound, the proto-Walker Texas Ranger vibes, the heavy lifting of acting from Calvin Levels and of course...2024-02-022h 16The Cannon Canon52 PICK UP (w/ Frank and Geoff"So long, Sport." The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back in Cannon Prestige territory with a stacked cast and some classy sleaze with "52 PICK UP"!
Roy Scheider plays an ego-driven jerk, John Glover goes full Philly, poor Ann-Margret gets put through the wringer, Clarence Williams the III steals the show and once again.. Vanity!
”Something about your face makes me want to slap the sh!t out of you!" is what The Cannon Bros would say if you missed this episode!
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Twitter: @thec...2024-01-261h 55The Cannon CanonDOWN TWISTED (w/Frank and Geoff)“The deal’s going down. But it’s going down twisted." The Cannon Bros travel back to the Pyuniverse and get down twisted about 1987's "DOWN TWISTED"!
The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get disoriented with all the (down) twists and turns, contemplate the "comedic relief" of the late Charles Rocket, some Cannon Oingo Boingo reuse and...oh yeah! Hey, it's Masters of the Universe's (and nothing else) Courtney Cox for a quick minute!
Ultimately, Albert Pyun's unique and signature style elevates what would normally be a static action crime adventure. But one thing's certain, it's...Down T...2023-12-081h 23The Cannon CanonPRESTIGE CANNON: SHY PEOPLE (w/ Frank and Geoff)"Swamp makes a body see…whatever they wants ta see." Get on your tuxes and cook up dat gumbo, cher! Cuz we're back in Prestige Cannon territory with a drama only Cannon can add a bit of sleaze to... SHY PEOPLE!
The Cannon Bros define what "Boomer Emo Porn" is, covet Martha Plimpton's shirt collection, discuss ACT-ING and finally get to go on a proper Tangerine Dream tangent.
“Now get yo mamma to stitch that up!” and crawl da swamps of data der Cannon Canon! (cajun laugh)
OUR PATREON: patreon.com/thecannoncanon...2023-11-241h 44The Cannon CanonGOING BANANAS (w/ Frank and Geoff)"Ba-Ba-Ba---Banana!" The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) experience another existential crisis thanks to this Cannon Kids Classic, "Going Bananas"!
"Bonzo love Ben!" and The Cannon Cannon loves YOU, dear listener. *cue Dom DeLuise mug to camera*
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Please rate and review us!2023-11-101h 34The Cannon CanonLOOSE CANNON: NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (w/ Frank and Geoff)"The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is... they're dead." Today on the Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff), shout "Thrill me!" as they jam their skulls into another Loose Cannon just in time for SPOOKYYYYY season! It's a personal favorite, 1986's NIGHT OF THE CREEPS! In this episode, we give obligatory and heartfelt love for the spectacular Tom Atkins, talk more Shane Black, how "fun" isn't a bad thing and how we ALL “get off on living in the past."
It's an episode that'll have you wryly declaring, "classic spanky".
...2023-10-271h 35The Cannon CanonPHANTASM II (w/ Frank and Geoff)”You think that when you die, you go to heaven. You come to us!” The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are taking a spooky detour this episode to cover a favorite non-Cannon horror flick, PHANTASM II ! The Cannon Bros have been talking about this one for a while and Halloween season is the perfect excuse to finally talk about it, in all its Tall Man glory, BOY!
Phantasm II gets the Aliens treatment. Everything you loved in the first one gets a pumped-up, action-packed upgrade (and some sexy fun for good measure).
This episode will have...2023-10-131h 45The Cannon CanonLOOSE CANNON: HOWLING II: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF (w/ Frank and Geoff)“Rock n roll. I’ll cover you!” Today on the Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get a suggested "Could've Been A Cannon/Loose Cannon" from Patreon member, Ed Harris! The movie? 1986's The Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf! Which had an HBO/Cannon Video VHS release (hence the "Loose Cannon").
Sir Christopher Lee musters up the strength to co-star with Reb Brown and Annie McEnroe, while a stunning Sybil Danning steals the show (and gets done dirty by the film's director and editor in the film's credit sequence).
This Could've Been A Cann...2023-09-291h 41The Cannon CanonTREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS (w/ Frank and Geoff)"Nah, that was DAMN REAL!" Today on The Cannon Cannon, The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) take on Cannon's 3D venture...in 2D. That's right, we're talkin' 1983(D)'s TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS! The Cannon Bros have to grade on a curve for this one since the movie CLEARLY makes use of the 3D gimmick and the only access at the moment is in 2D (until the Blu-ray gets bought for a future commentary episode). It's truly a head-scratching, slow-motion-loving early Cannon ride that the Cannon Bros can't help but be delighted by.
"I want you...2023-09-151h 25The Cannon CanonNEMESIS (w/Frank and Geoff)"State of the f#@%ing art, Alex!" Yes, the Cannon Bros are FINALLY covering it. By popular demand, it's 1992's NEMESIS ! The late Albert Pyun delivers some truly fun and WTF moments in this semi-sequel to Cyborg (Nemesis was first conceived as Albert Pyun's last film under a three-picture contract with Cannon drawn up in 1987). We consider this one both a COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON as well as a LOOSE CANNON.
Enjoy, ya Bio-Enhanced Gangsters!
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Twitter: @t...2023-08-181h 33The Cannon CanonGRACE QUIGLEY(w/ Frank and Geoff)"But Seymour, there’s another verse." "Not this time, Ma.” Today on The Cannon Canon, The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are pleasantly surprised by the unassuming dark comedy, GRACE QUIGLEY! Katherine Hepburn, Nick Nolte and Kit Le Fever star in this charming off-beat dark comedy that's a mix of "Harold and Maude" and Dr. Jack Kevorkian's euthanasia. The cast is rounded out by some spectacular character actors (there's a Howard the Duck connection here) and a pace and tone that's just slightly off but works spectacularly when it hits. And of course, The Cannon Bros get existential as usual. Gett...2023-08-041h 23The Cannon CanonLOOSE CANNON: TEEN WOLF TOO (w/Frank and Geoff)He's a Teen Wolf...Too! Today we cover a "Loose Cannon" (released by Cannon Screen Entertainment in the Netherlands), TEEN WOLF TOO! Part Teen Wolf, part Rocky and a dash of The Karate Kid.
Did you love the first movie? Get ready for most of the same beats but executed poorly! What's the parallel sport to high school basketball? COLLEGE BOXING, OF COURSE! Charmed by Michael J. Fox's Wolf? Jason Bateman's Wolf will have you muttering, "asshole". Add in a dash of Corey Feldman style choices, John Astin's charming and macabre scene-chewing, re-cast "returning" characters and a...2023-07-211h 32The Cannon CanonAMERICA 3000 (w/ Adam Bozarth)It's "Murcan" Birthday Week, Plugots! What better way to celebrate our nation's birth than with Cannon's 1986's sci-fi apocalyptic "comedy", AMERICA 3000! Joining the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) at Cannon Bros Headquarters is returning guest, Adam "Macho" Bozarth ( Left Handed Radio, WLHR Fake Public Radio)!
We talk Desi Arnaz Jr connections, a Reagan/Bonzo/Aargh theory, missing strange discoveries via VHS and UHF and tips on how to run into Jon Hamm when you're in L.A.
Don't be cold woggos, be hot plastic Prezeedent!
*freeze frame on...2023-07-071h 38The Cannon CanonSHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO (w/ Frank and Geoff)"It’s called Ice. It was big in Japan, but I haven’t seen it much here. It makes 'rock' look like decaf, babe." Today's "Could've Been A Cannon" is a true "WHAT IF?" What if Cannon had survived into the '90s? Golan and Globus DEFINITELY would've gotten a whiff of Showdown in Little Tokyo and touted it as "The movie that WILL beat Terminator 2!" while parading Brandon Lee and Dolph around Cannes. This is PURE non-Cannon Cannon!
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2023-06-231h 38The Cannon CanonNUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET (w/ Frank and Geoff)"Just the one pastrami then?" Today on The Cannon Canon the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) buddy up for this 1987 "buddy" cop flick, "NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET". A movie that forces the Cannon Bros to ponder "WHY must you make us yearn for Jim Belushi?!" Billy Dee Williams plays...Billy Dee Williams and Robert Carradine is... severely miscast.
On the surface, this movie feels like a Lethal Weapon rip-off, EXCEPT...It came out mere 2 MONTHS after Lethal Weapon! Was it parallel thinking? Or a case of Cannon seeing an early Lethal Weapon screening and scrambling to add...2023-06-091h 37The Cannon CanonTHE PARTY ANIMAL (w/ Frank and Geoff)"A chemical reaction got him some action!" Cannon Canon Patreon member, Daniel Levitt, picked this month's COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON and oh, baby...this bizarre and sometimes off-putting "Sex Comedy" is quite the package. 1985's "The Party Animal" is an interesting entry ("hot beef injection"?) into the beloved 80's "sex comedy" genre.
The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) can't help but put their tweed leather-elbowed comedy professor blazers on to dissect what the hell is even going on with "The Party Animal". It's a movie with the most unlikeable protagonist and a surprisingly great punk soundtrack. At one...2023-05-261h 45The Cannon CanonTHE COMPANY OF WOLVES (w/ Frank and Geoff)Murder She Wolf! Today the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) trek to grandmother’s house (in this case Golan & Globus' house of Cannon) to cover the 1985 surreal horror fantasy THE COMPANY OF WOLVES! Neil Jordan gets to Neil Jordan with this one. It's a "modern" somewhat anthology-like twist to Little Red Riding Hood...by way of Cannon and Neil Jordan of course.
We’re lycan this one! Just remember, “Never trust a man whose eyebrows meet.”
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2023-05-121h 37The Cannon CanonTHE LAST DRAGON(w/Frank and Geoff)The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are transported to 7th Heaven with this "COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON"! We're talkin' Berry Gordy's THE LAST DRAGON! A movie that The Cannon Bros have an undeniable nostalgic "glow" for.
Once again, we swoon over the late great Vanity, praise the badassery of Sho'nuff and excuse the timidness of Leroy (he's definitely in a form of arrested development...right?). This movie hammer fists all our 80's nostalgic sweet spots. With its bop of a soundtrack, Bruce Lee obsession and classic over-the-top white slimeball villain, it's SHOCKING it's NOT a Cannon.
...2023-04-281h 36The Cannon CanonHBO/Cannon: THE EVIL DEAD (w/ Frank and Geoff)We’re fudging the rules and diving back into the HBO/Cannon video releases and today we cover a horror classic the Cannon Bros know and love, Sam Raimi’s THE EVIL DEAD (1981)! Find out which Cannon Bro is team The Evil Dead and which is team Evil Dead II!
"For god's sake, what happened to her eyes!!!" but those ears are still good, so put down that fleshy old book of the dead and play this episode like it's Raymond Knowby's tape recorder, ya Deadite!
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Follow us on the social...2023-04-141h 30The Cannon CanonTHE CANNON CANON ANNOUNCEMENTThe Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) check in to let everyone know about the Cannon Canon release schedule moving forward.
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2023-04-0708 minThe Cannon CanonBARFLY (w/ Frank and Geoff)"TO ALL MY FRIENDS!" The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) stagger down to the local L.A. dive and cheers to 1987's BARFLY! A semi-autobiographical screenplay written by Charles Bukowski and directed by Barbet Schroeder. This critically acclaimed Cannon flick has Mickey Rourke taking some big drunken swings (literally AND with his acting), Faye Dunaway gives a fantastic performance (as do her legs) and Frank Stallone shows he can be more than a classic Norm Macdonald punchline. Barfly maybe hits a little too close for comfort for the Cannon Bros, but that doesn't stop them from raising a glass to...2023-03-241h 45The Cannon CanonDUTCH TREAT (w/ Frank and Geoff)"That's my momma!" It's our second week of covering the comedic stylings of Dreyfuss & Landsberg! This week we discuss 1987's DUTCH TREAT! A movie that literally came out MONTHS after Detective School Dropouts.
Cannon had conceived a vehicle for Dutch "girl band" the Dolly Dots in 1983 and they made good on that promise...4 years later...by combining their movie with a Dreyfus & Landsberg comedy. That's our Cannon!
It's a movie SO loud and unrelenting in its attempt at madcap chaos comedy that it gave one of the Cannon Bros a migraine. It also has the h...2023-03-171h 40The Cannon CanonDETECTIVE SCHOOL DROPOUTS (w/Frank and Geoff)“They don’t make Munks like they used to!” Abbott & Costello, Martin & Lewis, Cheech & Chong...Dreyfuss & Landsberg. That's right, for the next two weeks, The Cannon Canon will be covering the Cannon comedic stylings of Lorin Dreyfuss & David Landsberg! First up, 1986's Detective School Dropouts! A mixed-bag, madcap comedic romp that leaves the Cannon Bros a little lukewarm on the film itself but respecting the hell out of the story behind getting their two movies made to begin with!
In this episode we discuss: The hustle and dream of sketch comedians landing a 2 picture deal with a movie s...2023-03-101h 32The Cannon CanonSTREET SMART (w/Frank and Geoff)“I can get an interview with a Times Square pimp!” It's Oscar season, so it's time to get prestigious here on The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Bros are dressed in their tuxes and sitting down to dissect the serious cinema of the Cannon Oscar swing, STREET SMART! Ever wanted to see a sociopathic Clark Kent? Then Street Smart is your movie! Christopher Reeve was able to make this passion project by agreeing to do Superman IV for Cannon. But of course, you know it came with some Golan & Globus stipulations.
Morgan Freeman turns in an incredible performance that...2023-03-031h 10The Cannon CanonENEMY TERRITORY (w/Frank and Geoff)“I’m gonna rip out your heart and suck your blood!” Patreon member Joaquim Dantas steps up to the Cannon Canon plate and knocks it out of the park with this COULD'VE Been A Cannon pick! 1987's ENEMY TERRITORY!
Before Full Moon Productions, Charles Band ran Empire Pictures and released this gem that hits ALL the Cannon staples. It's a movie described as Die Hard meets The Warriors and...it's pretty spot on! Add a dash (pun not intended) of some Fox News fearmonger porn and a surprisingly excellent soundtrack and you got yourself one perfect COULD'VE Been A...2023-02-241h 44The Cannon CanonRAPPIN' (w/ Frank and Geoff)"Hay is for horses!" It's the unofficial sequel to Breakin' that barely has anything to do with Breakin'! That's right, today we're covering the 1985 Cannon finger on the pulse film "RAPPIN'"!
Where Krush Groove successfully showcased the early rap scene, Rappin'...has rapping sequences of Mario Van Peebles awkwardly re-voiced by Ice-T and Master Gee. Everyone gets a chance to rap (even if they shouldn't)!
Despite its flaws, it's still fun to watch Rappin' Hood and his merry men mix it up the only way Cannon can! You'll be itchin' for a scratch, Cannon-heads!
OU...2023-02-171h 33The Cannon CanonTHE BARBARIANS (w/Frank and Geoff)"The song- is finished. The laughter- silent. The dream- dead." We continue to scorch the cold January air with more HOT Cannon titles! Today, we serve up two slices of piping hot beefcake with 1987's The Barbarians! Starring The Barbarian Brothers as...The Barbarians! Sword and Sorcery meets pure dumb Cannon fun! Eva La Rue charms, Michael Berryman Dirtmasters and Richard Lynch does what he does best, creeps up the screen and chews up the scenery.
Call up an Emo Philips lookin' mystic, pop in that belly ruby, fight a phallic animatronic dragon and donkey noise your lo...2023-01-271h 39The Cannon CanonHOT RESORT (w/Frank and Geoff)The Cannon Canon heats up a cold January with some hot flicks this month. This week we're covering the "sex comedy" (we use that term liberally), "HOT RESORT". One thing is true, there is a resort. With appearances from Bronson Pinchot, Frank "The Riddler" Gorshin" and known Hollywood creep, Dan Schneider.
Does the movie live up to it's name and promise? Or is it a Cold Asylum (chacha)?
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Please rate and review us!2023-01-131h 29The Cannon CanonNEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (w/ Frank and Geoff)The Cannon Bros are kicking off the New Year with a COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON! Patreon member, Joshua Richardson, chose one of THE most Could've Been A Cannon's we've seen yet. 1986's NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE!
John Stamos, Gene Simmons and Prince protege Vanity star in this wannabe Bond flick for the Pepsi generation. Is it effective Bond-fare? It certainly has A Bond (George Lazenby) and...yeah, that's about it. If you thought Gene Simmons was too subtle for your tastes, this movie gives you a full trough of insane and problematic Gene Simmons ham! You...2023-01-061h 23The Cannon CanonSHANE BLACK CHRISTMAS: KISS KISS BANG BANG(w/John Murray)"Oh. I don’t like him. Kurt Cobain? He took my cricket." We conclude our detour into "Shane Black Christmas" with a movie that revived both Shane Black and Robert Downey Jr's career, 2005's Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
A movie that paved the way for RDJ Iron Man, ultra meta storytelling and an imperfect attempt to break gay stereotypes. Frank and Geoff are on opposite sides of their feelings on this movie, so to play tie-breaker, former guest John Murray steps back into the Cannon Canon ring to offer some insight as to why this is or is...2022-12-301h 50The Cannon CanonSHANE BLACK CHRISTMAS: THE LAST BOY SCOUT (w/Jason Gore) The Cannon Bros take a detour for the reason for the season... a Shane Black Christmas! This Holiday season we celebrate the Christmas-tinged genius of Shane Black. Today we discuss 1991's THE LAST BOY SCOUT. And joining us to chat some Wayans and Willis is the last boy scout himself, Jason Gore!
The Last Boy Scout is a movie where the two main stars hated each other, the producer and director hated each other, multiple editors had to be brought in to make the movie watchable and Shane Black, well...he got paid 1.75 million for the script (so...2022-12-161h 48The Cannon CanonSHANE BLACK CHRISTMAS: THE NICE GUYS (w/ Frank and Geoff)The Cannon Bros take a detour for the reason for the season... a Shane Black Christmas! This Holiday season we celebrate the Christmas-tinged genius of Shane Black. First up is 2016's criminally underrated The Nice Guys! A somewhat greatest hits of Shane Black tropes that fires on all cylinders. It's an all-out Cannon Bros gush fest, valid criticism need not apply.
Don't worry, "the car can drive itself". Turn up this episode and get in the Shane Black Christmas spirit with The Cannon Canon!
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Follow us on the soc...2022-12-021h 31The Cannon CanonMASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE Watch Along/ Commentary (w/ Frank and Geoff)"I don't like adventures!" It's November and with Thanksgiving here, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we're doing watch-alongs to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1987's MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE!
Join us as we give some Langella love, crack-wise at He-Man's lack of use of his signature sword and rack up Lubic trailer one-liners!
Load up on the leftovers, chow down like Gwildor and break out your Cosmic Key/Japanese Synthesizer, cuz the Can...2022-11-241h 54The Cannon CanonTEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 Watch Along/ Commentary (w/ Frank and Geoff)Oh, our achin' banana! It's November and with Thanksgiving around the corner, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we're doing watch-alongs to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1986's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2!
We've really come around to ol' Tobe "Cream Jeans" Hooper's TCM sequel. While Geoff still gets Chop-Top queasy, Frank gets homesick for Shiner and questionable BBQ.
Gather 'round the table, hand Grandpa the death blow mallet and dance around to some Oingo Boi...2022-11-181h 46The Cannon CanonBLOODSPORT Watch Along/ Commentary (w/ Frank and Geoff)"OK, USA!" It's November and with Thanksgiving around the corner, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we do watch alongs to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1988’s Bloodsport!
Watch along with The Cannon Bros as we Kumite all day, root for ANY sport's team named The Giants, ponder why exactly Forest Whitaker accepted this role at this point in his career and of course....marvel at some JCVD buns.
Dim Mak your worries awa...2022-11-111h 40The Cannon CanonDEATH WISH 3 Watch Along/Commentary (w/ Frank and Geoff)It's November and with Thanksgiving around the corner, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we do watch along to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1985's DEATH WISH 3!
Put on your bib, fire up the ol' TV and favorite podcast platform, stack up on leftovers and get your fill of our stupid voices talking through Death Wish 3. You'd rather hang out with your family?! No dice, boyo!
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...2022-11-041h 39The Cannon CanonCARPENTOBER: HALLOWEEN (w/ Frank and Geoff)We close out CARPENTOBER with the Cannon Bros favorite Carpenter film (and possibly favorite film, period) HALLOWEEN! You've heard MANY people talk about this perfect horror classic...now you get to hear us talk about this perfect horror classic!
It's the night the Cannon Canon came home...and talked about their favorite Carpenter film!
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Please rate and review us!2022-10-312h 06The Cannon CanonDELTA FORCE 2: THE COLUMBIAN CONNECTION (w/Frank and Geoff)"SEQUELTEMBER" is here on The Cannon Canon! We kick off a month of Cannon sequels with 1990's Delta Force 2: The Columbian Connection! A movie that has little to do with the first Delta Force or Columbia. Filmed in part at Regan's abandoned getaway crib, this movie has Norris beating up "skinheads" in a restaurant, more Molasses 2x4 climbing and John P. Ryan having the time of his life.
Billy Drago's still full from the scenery he chews up in this one! The winds of change are growing stronger, and so is SEQUELTEMBER!
OUR PATREON: patreon.c...2022-09-021h 43The Cannon CanonAUGUST OF AUSTIN: MARIA'S LOVERS (w/ Frank and Geoff)"Damn you, baby! And damn you, clown!" The August of Austin continues! Each week we'll be covering a Cannon film suggested by author and Cannon scholar Austin Trunick (The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1.: 1980-1984 & Vol 2: 1985-1987). Today the Cannon Bros take a sweaty, sexy(???) peek at 1984's Maria's Lovers (which you can watch HERE).
A rusty chair in a field, a bulldog in sunglasses, pregnant mouth invading rats, JOHN GOODMAN?! Yes, this movie will haunt your memories and make you skip town to work on the kill floor.
It's the episode you dreamed about for...2022-08-192h 10The Cannon CanonAUGUST OF AUSTIN: CHAIN OF COMMAND(w/Frank and Geoff)The August of Austin continues! Each week we'll be covering a Cannon film suggested by author and Cannon scholar Austin Trunick (The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1.: 1980-1984 & Vol 2: 1985-1987). Today the Cannon Bros tackle "CHAIN OF COMMAND" Dudikoff's final film for Cannon and a rollercoaster of convoluted twist after twist..after twist after twist after twist (repeat until dead).
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Please rate and review us!2022-08-122h 16The Cannon CanonAUGUST OF AUSTIN: PENITENTARY III (w/ Frank and Geoff)Today on the Cannon Canon we kick off the AUGUST OF AUSTIN! Each week we'll be covering a Cannon film suggested by author and Cannon scholar Austin Trunick (The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1.: 1980-1984 & Vol 2: 1985-1987). And let us warn you...Austin did NOT disappoint.
Just when we thought Cannon couldn't surprise us anymore, Austin hands us PENITENTIARY III. The craziest movie the Cannon Bros have watched to date. WE HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU WATCH THIS MOVIE BEFORE YOU LISTEN! We're not even going to bother with highlights or a description because NOTHING can prepare you for PENITENTIARY...2022-08-052h 10
The Cannon CanonBONUS: Patreon Roundtable - Top 5 Cannon Films w/ Frank, Andy and EdWhen the Geoff is away, the Frank will play. It's our first ever Cannon Canon Patreon Roundtable! Patreon members Andy Puechner and Ed Harris join Frank to discuss their Top 5 Cannon Films (as well as some honorable mentions). If you'd like to join a future roundtable and have access to some episodes a month early as well as bonus content, head over to our Patreon and sign up!
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Please rate and review us!2022-06-2952 minThe Cannon CanonAUSTIN TRUNICK 2: THE CONFRONTATIONAustin Trunick RETURNS to The Cannon Canon to discuss his incredible new book The Cannon Film Guide Volume II (1985-1987)!
We talk all things Cannon and the staggering amount of information that had to be parsed through for this massive edition. We also get a taste of what Volume III might look like and we set in stone "Austin's August Picks" where Austin will hand pick the Cannon films we cover in the month of August!
It's a great chat that will leave you wondering, "How deep did Bronson's knowledge of The Groundlings go?!"
...2022-06-171h 43The Cannon CanonJOHNNY MNEMONIC (w/Frank and Geoff)"I can carry nearly eighty gigs of data in my head." And the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) can talk 2+ hours about 1995's pre-Matrix Keanu cyberpunk flick "JOHNNY MNEMONIC"! A "COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON" picked by Patreon member Brian Armstrong! We thought it couldn't get more 90's than "Tank Girl", but Johnny Mnemonic is a Fruitopia-soaked Gateway Computer running Windows '95 while Stabbing Westward blares from your Sony Discman! It's gold, Jerry!
Slammin' electro-hard rock soundtrack? An angry Ice T character? A talking dolphin with telepathic abilities?! Keanu being Keanu?! There's plenty here to make an argument f...2022-06-032h 12
The Cannon CanonTHE EVIL THAT MEN DO (w/ Frank and Geoff)HE'S A SECRET FREAK! SECRET FREAK! Today the Cannon Bros are talking about a movie that is not a Cannon but could be the most Cannon non Cannon film we have watched. Of course it is Bronson's 1984 flick "THE EVIL THAT MEN DO". From production history, to confusing plot to the Cannon Bros continuing their realization that Bronson just might have a little more kink than we give him credit for. And a hunger for scenes with food. It has it all! Except Mayonnaise BRONSON DON'T LIKE MAYONNAISE!
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The Cannon CanonDEATH WISH (w/ Noah Segan)Bronson "Don't like May(onnaise)" month continues on the Cannon Canon with the one that started it all...DEATH WISH! While not a Cannon, it was ESSENTIAL for us to watch it for context...and because we wanted to. Our Bronson Brother from another "One Mama", Noah Segan, joins us once again! While the other Death Wish movies we've covered have been fun movies, this one is truly a FILM. Marvel at Bronson at some of his finest while Jeff Goldblum kicks off a tradition of future stars playing total scumbags.
Fill your hand and draw! It's t...2022-05-202h 11The Cannon CanonDEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN (w/Noah Segan)Bronson "Don't like May(onnaise)" month continues on the Cannon Canon with DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN! Joining us once again is our Bronson Brother Noah Segan! A little dialed back and introspective than Death Wish 3, but still delightfully Cannon and Bronson!
Once again, don't be someone Kersey loves! It never ends well!
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2022-05-132h 08The Cannon CanonROLLING THUNDER (w/ Frank and Geoff)LEARN TO LOVE THE ROPE! This week on our COULD'VE Been a Cannon series. Well, maybe we don't make a strong case for it being a Cannon film. But, wow, do we love the 1977 William Devane/Tommy Lee Jones classic "Rolling Thunder". I mean it's a revenge movie! Cannon. Our main character gets his hand put into a garbage disposal and gains a razor-sharp hook hand, taking lemons and making revenge lemonade! That could be Cannon. Oh wait...it's pretty close to a perfect movie? Yeah we just love it and it changed our lives and at least one...2022-04-292h 06The Cannon CanonTHE CANNON CANON SPRING BREAK BLOODY BEACH BLOWOUT MINISODE!GRAB SOME BUTTERMILK AND HEAD TO THE BEACH, BOY-O! Well it's spring break brah and the Cannon Bros need to take a little bit of a sabbatical. Rest up. Go watch a marathon of "Porky's", "Porky's Revenge", "Hardbodies" and "Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise" a thousand times in a row. So enjoy this little minisode as the Cannon Bros prepare for the next burst of Cannon film greatness (not to mention a special appearance by Charles Bronson himself).
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2022-04-1521 minThe Cannon CanonNEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (w/Frank and Geoff)CANNON. COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON! That's right, it's time for another "COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON"! And today's movie was chosen by our debonair Patreon member of danger and romance, Michael Bagford. The movie? The Irvin Kershner directed James Bond film, NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN! A Bond movie that's not quite a Bond movie because of complicated rights? It's the return (and final performance) of Sean Connery as 007 and while we were skeptical that this COULD'VE been a Cannon, there were plenty of gleeful Cannon-like choices that brought a big ol' Golan & Globus like grin to our faces.
...2022-03-042h 03The Cannon CanonRAW DEAL (w/ John Murray)YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK AND BAKE! But you should listen to our latest episode. Cannon Bro Geoff is left alone in Cannon HQ so he called in a special guest co-host, John Murray, to talk about the 1986 Arnold Schwarzenegger classic "RAW DEAL". Now it might just be an HBO/Cannon video distribution title, but it is truly PURE CANNON! The constant tone shifts, the cribbing from Arnold's other movies, the sets that look like they shoved a casino into a high school auditorium. And the budget possibly blown completely on the Rolling Stones "Satsifaction". It's a wild ride of a...2022-02-112h 05The Cannon CanonCOBRA Commentary/Watchalong Episode(w/Geoff and Frank)GRAB A SLICE AND A PAIR OF SCISSORS AND CATCH A FLICK! WITH US!!! THE CANNON BROS(Geoff and Frank). We are releasing from behind the paywall of our Patreon, our full commentary episode on the 1986 Cannon/Stallone classic "Cobra". If it is your favorite Cannon or just in your top 5, you gotta listen. These episodes are very fun to do, you can watch along or just listen to us snort and chuckle with each other. And if you enjoy then check out our Patreon for more exclusive to the Patreon commentary episodes. Until then! Go get a gummy...2022-02-041h 45The Cannon CanonNEW YEAR'S EVIL COMMENTARY/WATCH ALONG (w/Frank and Geoff)"I. am. Eeeeeviiiiillll!" Happy New Year! Crank up Shadow and join Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) as we do commentary (or watch along, whatever you want to call it, nerds) to our favorite underrated Cannon horror gem, NEW YEAR'S EVIL!
Hope your 2022 is more of an "American Ninja 2" than a "Pirates"! Enjoy, Cannon Canon heads!
And remember...."All that don't mean doodly-dee squat. When a girl doesn't have a date on New Year's, she's in sh*t city."
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Twitter...2021-12-311h 33The Cannon CanonThe Cannon Canon 2021: Revenge of the End of Year Wrap-UpNinjas, Gods, Aliens, Female Special Ops Groups, Living and Undead Rock Stars & Cops, Dystopian Futures, Italians, Rocket Truck Texas Rangers and Vigilantes Galore! 2021 was quite the year for The Cannon Canon! In this episode, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) pick their 5 favorite Cannon films covered on The Cannon Canon this past year. And for good measure, we throw in a couple of favorite "COULD'VE Been a Cannon" flicks and two movies that almost made the "Pirates" stink pile. Let us know your favorite films The Cannon Canon covered this year, boyo!
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2021-12-241h 21The Cannon CanonTHE WICKED LADY (w/Frank and Geoff)"Don't let me die alone!!!" Picked by our Patreon members, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) dip our toes back in the scuzzy waters of Michael Winner with 1983's THE WICKED LADY! A movie the Cannon Bros are very conflicted about (but passes the "Pluto TV" test).
In this episode, we talk about how much the "Razzies" suck, how the movie benefits from Faye Dunaway's gloriously unhinged and elated performance and of course- Cannon obligatory sex scenes.
We also ask, could this be a camp classic? Would you buy a “Winner Winner, Bronson dinner!” shirt? Do w...2021-12-171h 45The Cannon CanonAMERICAN NINJA WATCHALONG (w/ Frank and Geoff)HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This is a very special episode of The Cannon Canon. A full commentary/watchalong episode of us watching "American Ninja". Are you feeling sick of your family and want to watch a movie with someone but don't want to talk and just have us yell jokes and praise at you while we all marvel at how great Michael Dudikoff and Steve James are together? Then this is the perfect treat for you. Hell it even works without watching the movie (but don't worry we tell you when to press play).
We have more of these c...2021-11-261h 46The Cannon CanonLONE WOLF MCQUADE (w/Frank and Geoff)Pop a Pearl beer, get in your rocket truck and dump it on your head because we have a good one for you. This might be a COULD'VE Been A Cannon but the 1983 Chuck Norris vehicle "Lone Wolf McQuade" MIGHT be the most Cannon film we have ever watched. And it was picked by one of our amazing Patreon members so even better. If you are like the Cannon Bros, this "modern take on a spaghetti western" might feel like you have seen it 100 times already even if this is your first rodeo. Possibly because it might as well...2021-11-191h 55The Cannon CanonLEGEND (w/Ryan Patterson)We’re still ridin' in the loophole of another HBO/Cannon Home Video European VHS release with the Ridley Scott Adventure Fantasy "LEGEND"! And joining us is the velvet voice of Ryan Patterson (Coliseum, Fotocrime, Cat Magic Punks, Shirt Killer ), who lives in the middle of high art and low art and is right at home on The Cannon Canon. "Legend" is formative and a favorite for Frank, but does Geoff feel the same?
We ask, is this the best cinematic devil? Do you prefer the Tangerine Dream or Jerry Goldsmith score (or William Goldsmith as Frank er...2021-11-122h 02The Cannon CanonBONUS: HALLOWEEN KILLSEVIL DIES TONIGHT! Here's a lil' treat this Halloween from the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff)! Fitting into our COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON category, we talk about HALLOWEEN KILLS. It's the latest installment in our favorite horror franchise and we have a LOT to say.
We talk about how it compares to Halloween (2018), which we enjoyed and how when reading online criticisms to consider people's taste resume before investing in their take. Also, will we veer into Cult of Thorn or Conal Cochran territory with Halloween Ends?!
Get your muddy political message mob together and make su...2021-10-311h 49The Cannon CanonARGENTOBER: SUSPIRIAThe Cannon Canon presents our first HARD PIVOT! For the month of October, we'll be covering the films of Dario Argento. We're calling it, ARGENTOBER! And kicking off "Argentober" is the 1977 horror classic SUSPIRIA. That's right, we are starting with the gold standard of Argento. We swear it is not a gush fest (but it's not that far off). From the mindblowing soundtrack of Goblin, to the unbelievable set design, to the trademark Argento NCS (Needlessly Complicated Shot), we go through how much we love this movie. But also talking about how the plot almost doesn't make any sense a...2021-10-012h 09The Cannon CanonDEAD HEAT (w/ Frank and Geoff)HEY, YOU'RE HURT! LADY I'M F-ING DEAD! Yep, you got that right. Today, The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are doing a COULD'VE Been A Cannon on the 1988 Treat Williams/Joe Piscopo horror/comedy/cop movie vehicle "DEAD HEAT" (from Cannon kissin' cousin New World Pictures). Also known as "Young Geoff's most rented movie". Find out with the Cannon Bros how this movie psychologically scarred us both as children and now. Was it from the horrific, crazier than an Italian gore film practical effects from the great Steve Johnson? Was it from the existential questions that this movie poses...2021-09-241h 58The Cannon CanonOVER THE TOP Commentary Episode TeaserMEET US HALFWAY...and think about joining our Patreon! Yep, the Cannon Bros are on a little bit of a Cannon respite but we haven't stopped the Cannon train rolling. Today we are giving you a taste of a Patreon exclusive episode we have up now. We did commentary for all of Sylvester Stallone's "Over The Top". It's a fun one for a great movie, so take a sample of us breaking down what a bad dad Lincoln Hawk is...and what a bad Grandpa Jason Cutler is...and what a bad son Michael is. OK, so everyone but...2021-09-1022 minThe Cannon CanonCYBORG COMMENTARY EPISODE TEASERI LIKE THE PAIN...AGAIN! Well, let's try something a little different. Thought about joining The Cannon Canon Patreon but haven't yet? Perhaps now is the time. On today's episode, we are giving you a little taste, a little sampler, a little bit of a full commentary episode we recorded for the 1989 JCVD Cannon Classic "CYBORG". The full episode is only on the Patreon feed. So, try it on, see how it fits and if you like the way you look in us yelling about how much we like the pain, then think about joining the Patreon. It's more...2021-09-0324 minThe Cannon CanonKICKBOXER (w/ Frank and Geoff)Took us long enough but the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are finally covering the 1989 JCVD essential KICKBOXER! The movie The Cannon Canon has NO qualms about saying is definitely better than Rain Man. Join us as we break down why training montages are SO damn satisfying, Cronenberg strip joints, still remembering the ice despite knowing your brother is about to get destroyed, JCVD "dancing" memes and what up with that hawk?!
Plus, pan flute score galore (and a real flute with fake flute sound), The Van Damme Bunz Appreciation Society (even Sir Mixalot gotta give it...2021-08-201h 43The Cannon CanonTOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE (w/ Austin Trunick - Author of The Cannon Film Guide)OH GOD! OH MAN OH GOD! OH MAN! OH...baby. Have we got a wild one today. The Cannon Bros (Geoff and Frank) are tackling the 1987 Norman Mailer "Comedy" Crime Drama, Tough Guys Don't Dance. Joining us is the author of The Cannon Film Guide Vol 1, 1980-1984 and the upcoming The Cannon Film Guide Vol 2, 1985-1988, Austin Trunick! That's right a POWERHOUSE of Cannon films knowledge. But will we be able to tell you what is going on in this movie? Probably not. Will we be able to explain if this is a powerful parody of the genre or...2021-08-061h 56The Cannon CanonTHE DELTA FORCE (w/ Frank and Geoff)SLEEP TIGHT SUCKER! Because the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back and they are watching the 1986 Cannon Classic The Delta Force. Oh baby, it's Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin and a cavalcade of stars from disaster movie past to do Cannon's own version of a disaster movie. What happens when you combine a very politically complicated "Based on a true story" terrorist situation with Chuck Norris on a missile launching motorcycle? Well, you're left with a movie you think is going to be a kick-ass action film that...kind of just makes you wait. And wait...and wonder if...2021-07-161h 55The Cannon CanonABOVE THE LAW (w/Frank and Geoff)WE ARE GONNA TAKE YOU TO THE BLOOD BANK! Because on today's COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON episode, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are talking about the 1988 Steven Seagal debut "ABOVE THE LAW" aka "Nico". Half of his family are cops, half are in the mob and Seagal is 100% your dad's wet dream in this movie. We go through it all. From Seagal's maybe realistic but mostly odd fighting style; to his odd screen presence that gives our beloved Molasses 2x4 a run for his money to the odd fact that...he's lying right?! Seagal is lying about everything...2021-06-251h 48The Cannon CanonDANGEROUSLY CLOSE (w/ Frank and Geoff)LET US SEE YOU STRIPPED DOWN TO THE BONE! It's Bret Easton Ellis meets Avenging Force? The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) break down the 1986 “teen” action, crime, thriller Dangerously Close! Directed by a Pre-Cyborg Albert Pyun!
This movie is a true Cannon Canon 50/50. You will get whiplash every scene thinking "wow what a beautiful shot...that leads into a confusing plot". Almost as confusing as it's politics. This Reagan Youth Goes Avenging Force will leave you saying, "They got 2 Depeche Mode songs on this soundtrack?!" And then be blown away every scene in Cannon's answer to Deadw...2021-06-112h 09The Cannon CanonVacation Episode: The CrackdownThe Cannon Bros are taking a quick vacay. Summer is in the air and we can't stay inside just watching Cannon films. Instead we are watching them somewhere else besides our houses. But instead of taking a week off, The Cannon Bros are answering listeners questions submitted from the Patreon. And go on a few tangents pretty much immediately. And set themesleves up for a BIG project. You don't want to miss every action packed minute.
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And join our new Patreon: patreon.c...2021-06-041h 12The Cannon CanonThe Cannon Cannon 1st Anniversary Top 40 Countdown Extravaganza!It's been a year since the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) made their debut! And now, 40 Cannon movies later, they're more broken than ever, boyo! So join the Bros as they look back on the year to end all years. They reflect, relax and tear their hair out as they rank all of the 40 movies they watched from best to worst. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Well actually two number ones because Frank and Geoff have different number ones. And it certainly ain't "Pirates"!
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...2021-04-021h 28The Cannon CanonTHE RUNNING MAN (w/Frank and Geoff)HEY KILLIAN!!!!! We are doing it! The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are going down the COULD'VE Been a Cannon rabbit hole with the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger dystopian game show classic "THE RUNNING MAN". Don't be a plain Zero and go through all the madness with The Cannon Canon. From one-liners layered upon confusing one-liners, to being blown away by Jesse "The Body" Ventura's acting, to being blown away by what exactly Captain Freedom's suit does. You'll also be wondering if you would be able to remember the codes to take down the system and "Why is Mick Fleetwood and D...2021-03-262h 07The Cannon CanonKINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS (w/ Jayson Green)Today on The Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) watch a problematic Charles Bronson film. Doesn't narrow it down? You're right. Anyway, it's the 1989 Action-Thriller "KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS"! And joining the Cannon Bros for this episode is Jayson Green (Jayson Green & The Jerk, Orchid, Panthers and 24 Hour Video podcast). In this flick, Bronson sodomizes a crime suspect, Bronson gets racist, Bronson makes a man swallow his watch and burns his car, Bronson murders and then jokes around about it. You know...hero stuff! But don't worry, Bronson definitely spends a surprising amount of time talking about pot roast...2021-03-121h 47The Cannon CanonEnter the Ninja (w/ Frank and Geoff)Just a bunch of ninjas doing ninja stuff! That's right. The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are finally covering the 1981 Cannon Ninja classic "Enter The Ninja". And, literally, this is where it all started. Most of the ninja stuff you love in movies came from this and Cannon's complete misunderstanding of ninjas! We talk shirtless nunchuck practice! Ole blueyes himself, Franco Nero, layering one-liner after one-liner! Using his old war buddy's drunken impotence as a green light to play "enter the ninja" with his wife! Is it practical to have an office in a pool? And oh yeah, ninja...2021-02-191h 42The Cannon CanonMURPHY'S LAW (w/ Jen Saunderson)SUCK A DOORKNOB FART BRAINS! That's just some of the beautiful poetry you'll fall in love with in the 1986 Charles Bronson neo-noir Cannon classic "Murphy's Law". The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are joined by special guest JEN SAUNDERSON (Everything Is Scary! podcast) to parse through this modern-day Shakespeare. And trust us, this is classic Bronson. Convoluted and problematic old man jokes? Check. Bronson going grocery shopping and throwing buttermilk everywhere? Check. Needlessly complicated revenge plot? Check. And a whole lot of moments that will make you go "WHOA! WAS THAT A LOT MORE VIOLENT THAN IT NEEDED TO...2021-02-121h 57The Cannon CanonCOULD BE A COULD'VE Been A Cannon MinisodeWhat ELSE "COULD'VE Been a Cannon"? Today The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are pulling back and throwing out a little minisode. While they are releasing their first month-early COULD'VE Been a Cannon episode on their Patreon, the boys go through some of the possible movies they are thinking of covering in other COULD'VE Been a Cannons. Take a trip down the list while taking a detour into tangent city with topics like how to pronounce the word "Aunt" and "Snickers". It's a fun episode that is visited by the Ghost of Future Possible JCVD Films. Let them know w...2021-01-2924 minThe Cannon CanonLIFEFORCE (w/ Jason Gore)YEP SHE IS STILL NAKED! That's right, today we are talking about the 1985 sci-fi/horror/space boobs classic from the master of the erotic himself Tobe Hooper, "Lifeforce". The Cannon Canon bros are joined by special guest Jason Gore(The Best Show w/Tom Scharpling and 108.9 The Hawk) to answer all the important questions raised by this film. Like "What exactly is the plan of these space vampires?" and "How many times did Hooper have to cut himself out of his cream jeans" and "Will anyone enjoy a Riki Rachtman impression" to the most important question. "Can there be to...2021-01-221h 47The Cannon CanonEnd of Year / New Years Special!Happy New Year...s Evil! The Cannon Bros, Frank and Geoff, look back at a year of Cannon goodness (while the world went to hell) and they share their thoughts on where they hope to take the Cannon Canon in 2021. Frank and Geoff also revisit some of their favorite movies, music, actors and moments from the films they watched the past year and they even get a special visit from Charles Bronson himself to assess the choices Frank and Geoff have made in life.
Rally 'round the moon, boy! And give it a listen (maybe at the s...2021-01-0146 minThe Cannon CanonCOMMANDO (w Frank and Geoff)LET OF SOME STEAM...with our latest "COULD'VE Been A Cannon". The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are going deep on one of their favorites: the 1985 ultimate action film, Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Commando". And like an Austrian god emerging from the mountains holding an entire tree, it's a great one. From nonstop one liners to wondering if Bennett is REALLY Freddie Mercury on steroids or just a lil' dumpy, to the will they or won't they relationship that we are glad they didn't explore more to the ultimate question: did the guy from the Warriors yell out "Oooh la...2020-12-182h 15The Cannon CanonDoin' Time On Planet Earth (w/Frank and Geoff)GET YOUR PHANTOM TINGLES READY! We are watching 1988's total fever dream of a movie "Doin' Time On Planet Earth". Join The Cannon Canon bros as they half-remember watching it as a child and marvel at the total lost comedic genius of Adam West. As well as ask all the right questions about this almost unavailable lost "possible punk classic" of a movie. Questions like "Did Darren Star bury this movie post his 90210/Sex and the City fame? Is there some hidden connection between Doin Time and "Teen Wolf? Why would you make a movie about the B-52's...2020-12-041h 38The Cannon CanonKing Solomon's Mines (w/ Frank and Geoff)IT'S A ROMP AND A HALF! Or actually...it's half a romp and half a mess. Today The Cannon Canon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are hunting down 1985's "King Solomon's Mines". And they go through it all on this epic journey. From the bloodless brutality, to the giant Universal Stunt show spectacular set pieces to the worst blue screen plane chase you have ever seen. Oh and did we mention Richard Chamberlain blows off someones balls with a shot gun in this light hearted Indiana Jones style romp? It's a wild ride that will leave you breathless. Because it...2020-11-271h 49The Cannon CanonHalloween III: Season of the Witch (w/Frank and Geoff)ONE MORE DAY TILL HALLOWEEN! SILVER SHAMROCK! We are breaking format for our first "COULD'VE Been a Cannon" episode and the Cannon Canon bros (Frank and Geoff) are covering one of our favorite movies of all time: HALLOWEEN III: Season of the Witch! If there ever was a movie that COULD have been a Cannon film, this would be it. SO much to love here. From a drunk womanizing protagonist, to a diabolical plan that could be ruined by timezones to the secret nexus of the universe that is a gas station somewhere in California, we cover it all...2020-10-302h 27The Cannon CanonExterminator 2 (w/Frank and Geoff)GETTIN' A LIL' GINTY! This week the Cannon Bros(Frank and Geoff) dive deep into 1984's EXTERMINATOR 2! We talk about all the burning action and figure out what Cannon films would be like in a Twitter world. From the quickest flame throwers in the world, to cocaine as an acting choice to the the craziest sight lines you will EVER see. The Cannon bros are gonna take you on a tour of the seediest parts of Exterminator 2 as well as mid 2000 Williamsburg/Greenpoint as we RALLY ROUND THE MOON!
Follow us on the socials:2020-10-161h 52The Cannon CanonDudikoff or James? (Garlock minisode)Today the Cannon Canon bros are split up! Its like Michael Dudikoff or Steve James left to their lonesome, as Geoff takes on a quick minisode on his own. As we take a brief respite from regular episodes to refuel our Cannon jets, Geoff will give you a little thanks for all your listening. A little preview of some upcoming episodes. A couple big ideas we have for the future. Even a call out for someone to make us shirts(Molasses 2x4 anyone?). And probably some other things he forgot he babbled about. You can consider this like one...2020-10-0212 minThe Cannon CanonMasters of the Universe (w/ Griffin Newman)The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) take a trip to "moments of disappointment from your childhood" with this week's big-budget Cannon film, 1987's "Masters of the Universe"! And who better to join us than the NEW ORKO himself, GRIFFIN NEWMAN (Blank Check pod, The Tick, Masters of the Universe: Revelation). We discuss John Williams Rip Off Scores! He-Man's not even the star! Langella Love! Petty George Lucas! Kids love Billy Barty! Poor Pig Boy! “Guess you should have avoided The Noid”! And SO much more. Even a lil' "spoiler-free" tidbit about the new Masters of the Universe coming to Netflix. Good...2020-09-181h 49The Cannon CanonInterview w/ Austin Trunick - Author of The Cannon Film Guide Volume 1: 1980-1984The Cannon Bros take a little detour to interview Austin Trunick about his new book The Cannon Film Guide Volume 1: 1980-1984!
We talk about some Kim's Video love, the best rejection letter EVER, how Firewalker was a sample script, Dustin Hoffman takes Cannon to court, Tobe Hooper’s Pinocchio?! and so much more!
It's a must-have book for any Cannon-head. Check it out!
(Heads up: Had some audio issues, but we tried to clean it up as best as possible. Enjoy!)
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I...2020-09-111h 03The Cannon CanonPirates (w/ Dave Schilling)It was bound to happen sooner or later and unfortunately, it happened sooner. One single Cannon film has broken the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) and that movie is Roman Polanski's trash fire of a film, "PIRATES". Enduring the pain of this movie with us this week is Dave Schilling (Full Court Chat)! We all eat the rat on this one. Good luck!
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Please rate and review us!2020-09-041h 26The Cannon CanonFirewalker (w/ Frank & Geoff)HOT DOG!!! On this episode, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get Stockholm Syndrome watching 1986's FIREWALKER starring Chuck "Molasses 2x4" Norris, Lou "Iron Eagle" Gossett Jr and Melody "Flash! AH, AH!" Anderson. So much to cover in this adventure, action-comedy! Shockingly short production turnaround times! Misleading Fonts! "Dead People Sleeping"! Stomped on Comedic Timing! Paul Rodriguez Punch Ups! Moving Eye Patches and Problematic Catch-All Casting! If the gold isn't here, then it's somewhere else! But it's all gold on The Cannon Canon, baby!!!
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2020-08-281h 45The Cannon CanonSword of the Valiant (w/Jon Gabrus)GAWAINNNNN!!! On this episode of The Cannon Canon, special guest Jon Gabrus (High & Mighty, Action Boyz) joins the Cannon Bros to discuss a Cannon take on an Arthurian legend...kind of...maybe??? Whatever it is, it's certainly, "Sword of the Valiant: The Legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight". From sex witches turn ceramic frogs, to floppy horned unicorns to Sean Connery's green chest hair, just try to keep up with a plot so needlessly complicated that it would confuse a 4th level Dungeon Master. We cover SO much that we forgot to even mention that crazy detached C...2020-08-211h 30The Cannon CanonThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (w/ Michael Berdan)Dog will hunt! Today on The Cannon Canon, Michael Berdan (Uniform) joins the Cannon Canon Bros (Frank & Geoff) to debate the good, the bad, and the repetitive of 1986's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2! Lefty rejects redemption, bodies from the first film used like furniture and muppets, Bill Moseley turns Geoff's stomach, Frank gets homesick for Texas, the impracticality of chainsaws as weapons and SO much more! OH, OUR ACHIN' BANANA! What an episode!
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Please rate and review us!2020-08-141h 54The Cannon CanonAVENGING FORCE (w/Frank and Geoff)DUDIKOFF BABY!!!! "Avenging Force" might be the most Cannon-y Cannon films in the history of Cannon Films and the Cannon Canon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are sticking it where the sun don't shine (audibly speaking and into your earholes, of course)! Is it a sequel to "Invasion U.S.A"? Is it almost too prescient of our current times? Are Frank and Geoff jealous of Michael Dudikoff and Steve James' friendship? Is that John P. Ryan's real guttural demonic scream? Which Build a Bear killer costume would we choose? And DID SO MANY KIDS NEED TO DIE?!?!?! So many...2020-08-071h 40The Cannon CanonRunaway Train (w/ Mike Pace)Runaway Train never going back. But the Cannon Canon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back...to talk about the THREE-TIME OSCAR NOMINATED Cannon Film "Runaway Train" with our special guest Mike Pace (Mike Pace and the Child Actors, The Oxford Collapse, Worst Gig Ever). We revel in all of the insane acting choices in this Cannon Film that many consider to be, "the good one". From your mama's farthole, to eatin' anchovies, to finding some shoes. We cover every aspect of "Runaway Train" like it's gold! "THAT'S GOOD!"
Do you think Manny ever found that bathroom in...2020-07-311h 28The Cannon CanonNew Year's Evil (w/Frank and Geoff)EEEEVVVVIIILLLLL! Use your Mom's red stockings as a mask and take some giant pills, because The Cannon Canon bros (aka Frank and Geoff) are back and breaking down the "Punk"/"New Wave" "holiday" horror film New Year's Evil! Weirdo sons overcoming nepotism! Accurate representations of the LAPD! Death by weed bag! Colorady! Morose Liquor Store transactions! Punks shuffle loud! Judas Priest takes a nap! Subtle 3 Stooges ADR! Bob Hope lookin' Stan Laurel masks! It's almost as good as the main theme which is definitely not punk. All that don’t mean doodly dee squat if you miss out on this...2020-07-241h 39The Cannon CanonAmerican Ninja (w/ Frank and Geoff)DUDIKOFF BABY! The Cannon Canon bros get into our first American Ninja and our first Michael Dudikoff film. That's right. He's American...and a ninja?! We go through it all! Dudikoff's James Dean stares, not so stealthy motorcycle escapes, Jackson's practicality and badassery, ALF's neighbor is HIGHLY flammable and lazer ninja hands?! Listen to this episode and you will finally exclaim "HE IS A NINJA!"
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Instagram: @thecannoncanon2020-07-101h 29The Cannon CanonTHE APPLE (w/Lauren Adams)HEY! HEY! HEY! BIM IS THE WAY! Recorded in Dec 2019, Lauren Adams (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Modern Family, Drunk History) joined The Cannon Canon to talk about the perplexing cocaine meets LSD trip that is THE APPLE! 6 Drafts in 3 weeks! Geoff's earliest film cameo! McPlayPlace Cars! Mispredicting 90's eyebrows. LONG songs about Speed! Stylish translucent suitcases and MORE! Join us as we pile in the sky Impala taking us to musical heaven!
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Instagram: @thecannoncanon2020-06-121h 27The Cannon CanonThe No Episode EpisodeGeoff and Frank put the Cannon Canon on pause this week and encourage listeners to open their ears and hearts to other voices. Tune in next week for "The Apple" with guest Lauren Adams. Until then, be safe. 2020-06-0508 minThe Cannon CanonMISSING IN ACTION 2 (w/ Frank & Geoff)Grab the ratbag! It's a special pandemic episode of The Cannon Canon. Frank and Geoff record from the safety and comfort of their separate homes to discuss the Chuck Norris Regan-hard on action flick MISSING IN ACTION 2! The movie that "honors" Vietnam POWs. The consistent acting style of Chuck Norris! Burning bridges...literally! Mouth Rat commitment! Brooklyn has a chicken BFF! Pantsed in front of Prostitutes! Dictators in wicker chairs! It's all "SO EXTRA!"
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Instagram: @thecannoncanon2020-05-291h 28The Cannon CanonMANNEQUIN (w/ Oscar Montoya)Oscar Montoya (Spanish Aquí Presents, Bless the Harts) joins The Cannon Canon to talk about the Andrew McCarthy/Kim Cattrall "comedy" romp MANNEQUIN! We get into it all from burgeoning sexuality, to 80's junkyard fridge panic, to James Spader simply stealing the show!
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Instagram: @thecannoncanon2020-05-081h 25The Cannon CanonCOBRA (w/ Nate Smith)Today the Cannon Canon crew talk to Nate Smith (Red Oaks, There's Johnny, Mixed-ish) to discuss one of the greatest movies in the Cannon filmography IF NOT IN ALL OF FILM. Of course we are talking about Sylvester Stallone's 1986 "Cobra". From garbage bellies to robot photo shoots to deep childhood trauma, we cover it all.
Follow us on Twitter @TheCannonCanon and Instagram @thecannoncanon2020-05-011h 28The Cannon CanonDeath Wish II (w/Noah Segan)The Cannon Canon crew talk to special guest Noah Segan (Knives Out, Looper) about all things Charles Bronson and our movie this week, 1982's "DEATH WISH II". From punks, to Zeppelin, and all the Mandom in between, The Cannon Canon goes in deep on Bronson.
Follow us on Twitter @TheCannonCanon and Instagram @thecannoncanon2020-04-271h 23The Cannon CanonThe BeginningWelcome to the Cannon Canon. In this premier episode aka The Beginning, Frank and Geoff take you through what this podcast is, a slight history of Cannon films and their personal history with Cannon.
Be sure to follow on Instagram @TheCannonCanon and on Twitter @TheCannonCanon and email us at thecannoncanon@gmail.com
2020-04-0326 min