Tia Fagan - Podcast Details

Shows

Cup of Coffee and CrimeA Betrayal Within: Tia SharpTwelve-year-old Tia Sharp was a happy, adventurous girl visiting her grandmother’s home, a place that should have offered safety and comfort. But when Tia vanished without a trace, her family’s worst nightmare began. The search for Tia would captivate the nation, with friends, neighbours, and even the prime suspect pleading for her safe return. A week later, a harrowing discovery would expose a betrayal far closer to home than anyone had imagined, revealing a sinister truth lurking behind a familiar face. In this episode, I explore the tragic loss of Tia Sharp, unraveling the events that led to her...2024-12-0430 min

Cup of Coffee and CrimeVoice of Courage: Tia HernlenIn today's episode, I delve into the harrowing story of Tia Hernlen, the brave five-year-old who made a now famous 911 call after discovering the brutal murder of her parents in their Florida home. Join me as I explore the events leading up to this tragic night, the aftermath, the incredible bravery Tia showed, and how the system failed to protect Julie and Aeneas Hernlen.★ To see todays case photos head over to the Cup of Coffee and Crime Facebook Discussion Group★ To support the show and keep me caffeinated, you are now able to Buy...2024-06-1921 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsChanging directions with Kim and TiaIn this episode Kim and Tia announce their decision to pivot. Tia has decided to focus on her coaching business as well as potentially move into some new endeavors of her own. Kim is working on launching a new business and more details about that will follow. For now, Kim is continuing the Masks Off Podcast on her own. Episodes will still be released weekly. This was an amicable decision and like the quote says, “everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving and improving….” If we are not changing then we are not growing. Kim and Ti...2022-07-2819 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsLife is BittersweetIn this episode Kim and Tia share different life experiences where they have felt bittersweet. Having that bittersweet feeling can show up in a multitude of ways including watching your kids grow up, having your child move out or go off to college, losing a loved one, returning from a vacation or leaving a job. This feeling or emotion of bittersweet is such a good representation of what life is really like because it is nondual. It is not an either/or emotion. It is actually both bitter and sweet which is how life really is. To hear more...2022-07-1421 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsDon't Rock the BoatDo you struggle to speak up and speak your truth with others or maybe even certain people in your life? Do you remember as a child being told that you were wrong or “bad” for thinking, believing or speaking what felt true for you, and thus, did not speak your truth? Are you afraid that if you speak up and “rock the boat” with others that you might be rejected or feel another’s disappointment or disapproval? All of this is normal and has happened to many of us. The truth is that if we don’t “rock the boat” from a p...2022-07-0717 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsSay Yes to YourselfDo you find it hard to say yes to yourself? Do you notice that you say no when you really want to say yes? This is a very common pattern for those that tend to wear the people pleaser mask and for those that are conditioned to put other peoples’ needs ahead of their own. This conditioning can run very deep and all the way back to childhood. Kim and Tia share how this has shown up for them in their lives and the discomfort that they felt whenever they said yes to themselves. There is so much possibility fo...2022-06-2326 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsI AM WHOLEIn today’s episode Kim and Tia step outside their comfort zone by doing a little promotion for their signature I AM WHOLE course as well as their Connect and Grow Summer Series. If you are interested in hearing more about these two FREE opportunities take a listen. We would love for you to join us in the Summer Series and receive support and guidance as we connect and grow. The links for I AM WHOLE and Summer Series are below. Don’t forget to continue with the monthly challenge of stepping outside of your comfort zone. You can join...2022-06-0916 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe Illusion of the Safety MaskHave you noticed yourself “playing it small” in life? Do you find yourself being afraid to step into courage and would rather be safe and comfortable? Many of us can be courageous in some parts of our lives and other parts we hide behind the mask of comfortability and safety. The problem with doing this is that we are not in alignment with our authentic self when we do this and it can cause much pain and suffering. Kim and Tia share how this shows up in their lives and they share that when they take this mask off and...2022-06-0220 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Motherhood" MaskWow!!! In this episode Kim and Tia really take off their masks and show how they overparented in the past and lost their identities as a person. Wearing the mask of motherhood can overtake who we are as individuals. Culture as well as ourselves can put so much pressure and expectations for us to show up in certain ways which can lead to wearing the perfection mask as well as the mask of motherhood. While it can be very challenging, but it is important to maintain your individual identity if you are in the role of motherhood. “Not...2022-05-2621 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsIt's Never One and DoneWhat do you do whenever people don’t agree with you? What do you do when you are faced with a situation that activates you and you can’t control the situation or the other person? How likely are you to turn inward and put the microscope on yourself? It has been said over and over that we can not control people or situations. We can only control ourselves and our reactions. Kim and Tia talk about the I AM WHOLE Process that they created that helps you go inward and recognize whether you are in the present moment or n...2022-04-2126 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe Do OverHow often have you said or done something to someone and instantly regretted saying or doing that thing? If you have a conflict or an argument with another, do you go back and do a repair or do you just “sweep it under the rug” and move on? Kim and Tia talk about the importance of doing a “do over” or a repair to help keep the integrity of a relationship. Kim shares an example of where she said something to her daughter that she instantly regretted and she shares how she used the I AM WHOLE Process to help her...2022-04-1421 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsConnection Over ComparisonIn this episode Kim and Tia have a fun conversation about comparison. They used Brene Brown’s newest book “Atlas of the Heart” as a springboard for a conversation about what researchers call upward and downward comparison. Both Kim and Tia take off their masks and share how comparison has shown up in their lives. As Brene Brown writes, comparison is something that just happens to us and it is very normal, but what we do about it when it shows up in our lives is up to us. We can strive to stay in our own lane and wish the...2022-03-1020 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Saboteur" MaskHow many times have you told yourself that you were going to start eating healthier, start exercising, start organizing your house or reach out and meet new people and you just can’t seem to do it? It doesn’t matter what habit or circumstance it is that you try to change, you just seem to stick with what is old and familiar. Why does this happen? This is a complex and complicated topic and Kim and Tia do their best to tackle the reasons why we self-sabotage. While they do not have all the answers why we do this...2022-03-0331 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsPain Is Your Power, If You Allow It with Dinuka RanasingheRobin Arzon, a popular Peloton instructor, often states that pain is your power. This can be true and pain can be a powerful portal to healing and growth if you let it. However, the key is learning to become aware that your pain is an opportunity for you to learn and grow. Many people allow themselves to remain in the victim role and thus get swallowed up by their pain. Let it be said that it is not an easy process to heal and transform pain or to even have the mindset that your pain is your power. It...2022-02-2452 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Protector" MaskHow easy is it for you to let others “see into” your heart. Do you consider yourself to be guarded when it comes to allowing others to see your true self? In this episode Kim and Tia have a deep conversation about being vulnerable. We live in a culture where it is more the norm to be strong and put together. We live in a culture where vulnerability is viewed as weakness. As a result of these mindsets it is difficult to feel deeply connected to others. So, are you willing to loosen the grip of the protector mask just...2022-02-1034 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsProtect Your PeaceWe all have life situations going on and some of us handle them better than others. It can be hard and overwhelming to stay peaceful whenever we feel overloaded or bombarded with life. The key is to learn and cultivate a practice to be able to find peace and calm in your heart even in the midst of the storm. There are many ways that one can find peace and calm. Kim and Tia share some examples of how they find peace and groundedness when they are facing a storm. To hear and learn more, listen in. “Pe...2022-01-2719 min

MINDFUL CONVERSATIONS PODCASTEpisode 3 - REVAMP YOUR AUTHENTIC SET & MINDSETWelcome to Episode 3 where my guest Tia and I discuss the importance of finding and revamping your authentic voice to empower your mindset and well-being. Learning to love who you are once again. Tia Fagan is a Conscious Parenting and Authenticity Coach who has been coaching and guiding people since 2016 through explorations and accessible tools for all walks of life. 2022-01-1427 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsTree WisdomIn this episode Kim and Tia talk about the difference between storms that caused us to become resilient as a way of surviving versus storms that helped us build strong roots. The difference between which direction you go in is whether you are going within trying to learn from the storms or whether you are seeking external validation. The latter is going to have weak roots and will easily uproot in a storm whereas the former will grow strong roots that can weather any storm. Listen in to hear more and how Tia and Kim have learned to grow...2021-10-1426 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsTo Thy Own Self Be TrueDo you find yourself trying to please others all the time? If so, how does that make you feel when you try to please someone else instead of being true to yourself? Nature certainly does not try to please. Nature is just nature. So why do we as humans feel that we need to please? Is it for protection? Is it just because we are conditioned to please? Or, is it part of our nature to please? To hear more about this topic tune in to the discussion that Kim and Tia have on the people pleaser mask. 2021-10-0723 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsEbb & Flow of ExpectationsDo you ever find yourself having an expectation of someone or something only to be disappointed when that expectation was not met. As the below quote by Dr. Shefali Tsabary states, we suffer when our expectations differ from reality. It is normal to have some expectations of ourselves and others and it is important to feel our feelings whatever they may be when those expectations are not met. We must not bypass our feelings and we also must be ready and willing to let go of those expectations as well and just flow with the as is of our r...2021-09-2329 min

The Radical Mother Village with Christa BevanEP37 Trusting Into Ourselves, Reparenting for Deeper Connection & Setting Boundaries from the Heart with Tia FaganToday I'm chatting with Tia Fagan, a Certified Conscious Parenting & Authenticity Coach and mom to twin daughters in their 20s. Tia’s mission is to help people reclaim their truth and inner knowing, empowering them to create more peace, joy, deeper relationships, and authenticity in their family and life.In this episode we discuss:How Tia stopped chasing solutions to problems and started showing up with more presence in motherhood and the relationship dynamics that changed for her as a mother.How are children often have better answers to problems than we do, and when we tru...2021-09-2256 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsStruggling vs SufferingIt is often said that pain in life is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Do you even notice when you are suffering? Do you find yourself complaining or feeling like a victim? Do you tell yourself stories that keep you perpetuating the cycle of suffering? Kim and Tia talk about how we can free ourselves if we can look at our experiences and ask ourselves is this happening to me or for me? One is very different from the other. When we can have the perspective that all experiences in life are here for us then we can be i...2021-08-1227 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsMountain TopsHow many times have you been in a rut or a difficult time in your life and felt like you would never see the light at the end of the tunnel? Do you abandon self-care during these times and therefore end up feeling even more depleted? The most important thing we can do for ourselves is to take care of ourselves even if it is sprinkled throughout the day. A few minutes of breathing or stretching or drinking some extra water will actually make a difference. It is a practice of putting water in the bucket so that when...2021-07-2227 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsStepping into a New DanceWithout even realizing it we are living out patterns or roles. These roles and patterns become our masks. We don’t consciously do this. We fall into these patterns in childhood often to protect ourselves. As this happens and we create more and more patterns we lose our true self. As we awaken and become more aware of our patterns we can step into a new dance and create a new way of living life. It does take time and it is a back and forth dance because not all people in our lives will be happy with our ne...2021-07-1519 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsRiding with the Rip TideImagine being caught in a rip tide. What is the first thing that you are told to do if you get caught in a rip tide? Do you flow against it or ride with it? We can apply this same advice when it comes to the challenges in our lives. It is more beneficial to flow with the challenges rather than resist. When we let go of resistance and move into acceptance we have more peace. While it is difficult to move into acceptance and to let go of controlling outcomes, it is truly the only thing we have...2021-07-0120 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsHealing Takes TimeWhen you find yourself in a difficult space and having a really hard time, is it easy or difficult for you to reach out and ask for support? Do you feel afraid to be vulnerable and ask another just to listen and hold space for you? In this episode, Kim and Tia talk about how truly important it is to recognize first that healing takes time and there are many layers to healing, but also that it is so important and vital to reach out and ask for a “lifeline” when you are struggling. We come into this world wire...2021-06-2424 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsPermission to BeIn the previous episode, Kim and Tia talked about how we navigate the “storms” in our lives. Often times, there are lessons to learn from these storms. One of those lessons is learning that we cannot calm the storm and we can only calm ourselves. Sometimes though, it is very difficult to calm ourselves while we are in the middle of a storm. We may expect ourselves to handle things differently than we actually are and we put more pressure on ourselves. Very often, our inner child gets activated when we are in the middle of a storm or perh...2021-06-1029 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsSurviving a StormHow do you respond when you feel that you are in the midst of a “storm”? Do you try and control everything around you or do you take one step at a time? Do you try and control people, places and things, or do you focus on what you can control? What can you actually control? The only thing in life that we really have control over is ourselves and how we respond to outside factors. Sometimes the storm we are in is inside of ourselves. Kim and Tia talk about how outside events are mirrors to things we need...2021-06-0322 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsBrain FogDo you ever find yourself in one of those head spaces where you feel like you are in a total fog? Do you feel like you are flying circles in an airplane that won’t seem to land. Or perhaps you feel like one of those pinball machines and you are bouncing all over the place. Sometimes it can feel like life is just coming at us. Maybe we have many things that we are trying to juggle and on top of all of that, we may be having a conflict with someone important to us or maybe we ar...2021-05-2013 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsIs Your Mind a Prison?Do you ever feel like you are stuck in looping thoughts or a pattern or behaviour that never goes away? Are you stuck in depression, anxiety, or addictive behavior? Do you find yourself in a situation where you feel stuck or trapped? Perhaps you are trapped in particular roles or expectations. Maybe you feel like a victim. If you answered yes to any of these questions, listen in as Kim and Tia discuss both the dark and light side of any situation and how we really have the power within us to free ourselves from the prison that we...2021-05-1321 min

The Shadow ShamanConscious Parenting with Tia FaganTia Fagan is certified with Dr. Shefali Tsabary (Oprah's favorite parenting expert), and is now a Conscious Parenting and Authenticity Coach. She brings some excellent insights into what our children is trying to tell us, how they mirror back our wounds, and how we can communicate with our children in a very healthy way. Imagine being able to interact with your children without the screaming, frustration, and stress that we as parents can often find ourselves experiencing. Tia gives us some practical advice and ways we can transform our parenting experience into one that everyone in the household can enjoy. h...2021-05-1247 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsTake Your Hands Off the WheelOne of the hallmark symptoms of co-dependency is enmeshment and caretaking. The truth is that we are only responsible to take care of ourselves and those that truly cannot take care of themselves. What we often do that may get us in trouble is to take care of people that should be taking care of themselves. When we do this we take away their own inner power to know what it feels like to take care of themselves. When we take our hands off the wheel and really focus on ourselves and not on others all the time, we...2021-05-0627 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWalls or Bridges?Do you find it easy or difficult to hold a boundary with others. Do you get so stuck in your position that you build a wall between you and the other or do you cave easily because you are afraid of upsetting the other. Boundaries are difficult and can nurture a relationship or it can hurt relationships. It is also important to realize that boundaries can be fluid and can change if we live in the moment and allow each moment to determine our decisions. If you want to hear more about boundaries and how to show up with...2021-04-2233 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsHead vs. HeartWhen you make decisions in your life, do you make them only from your head or only from your heart, or do you balance the two? Do you make impulsive decisions or with a sense of urgency? Are you coming from fear when you make decisions and do you find yourself in a more difficult situation as a result? When we make decisions from lack or scarcity, we will often rush or jump into situations and as a result, it often does not go well. What we often lack when making decisions whether big or small is balance between...2021-04-0133 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsCourage Over ComfortAre you afraid of choosing courage over comfort? Do you hold back from speaking up or setting a boundary because it is easier to be quiet and stay comfortable? Do you avoid taking risks because it is too scary to step outside your comfort zone? If you answered yes to any of these questions take a listen as Kim and Tia talk about balancing between taking risks to avoid dealing with an issue and staying too comfortable because it is easier. Discernment is important when choosing courage and taking a risk and yet staying inside your comfort zone can k...2021-03-1820 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWhere Does Your Compass Lead You?In this episode Kim and Tia talk about their new online course, True North. One of the main intentions for this course is to teach how to take teachings and wisdom and actually build a tool box so that we can integrate the wisdom. It is one thing to know something and it is another to actually put it into practice and have it be useful. One of the tools that Kim and Tia will be teaching is how to create a value system so that when you are lost in life it can help point you in the...2021-02-2523 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsStuck in the Muck?Do you feel like you are perpetually stuck in the muck? Do you feel like a black cloud is always following you? Do you consistently resist life and find yourself trying to control outcomes? If you answered yes to any of these questions, take a listen as Kim and Tia talk about taking a different perspective on life’s challenges. There will always be challenges, disappointment, pain and “curve balls.” That is a given. We have a choice about whether we stay stuck in the muck of our feelings and thoughts or whether we use the opportunities to grow and le...2021-02-0430 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsFinding Your Own PeaceDo you find yourself looking outside of yourself to find peace and comfort? Do you wish and want others to make you feel better because you don’t know how to comfort yourself? Or, do you use food or some other substance or behavior to comfort yourself rather than soothing or comforting yourself? It is a skill that we must learn so that we can go inward and soothe and comfort ourselves. It is truly learning how to “dance in the rain.” Learning to self-regulate is a crucial skill to learn. Want to hear more, listen as Kim and Tia di...2021-01-2826 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsIt's an Inside JobIn this episode Kim and Tia share the process of going inward and deconstructing very old patterns. Very often many of us seek outside validation to feel that we are worthy and when we don’t receive that outside validation we can feel unworthy and unlovable. It is so important to learn how to give ourselves the validation that we are worthy just because of who we are and not what we do. The mere fact that we were born and are a part of this world makes us worthy. Where things go wrong is that we receive messages fr...2021-01-2137 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsNavigating the WatersIn this episode Kim and Tia talk about the antidote when we feel that resistance to stepping into the arena. What can we do when we feel too fearful or too vulnerable to share our heart and our true selves. There are several tools or steps to this antidote and they are discussed in this episode. It must be stated that it is a process and that we need to have compassion for ourselves when we don’t do it perfectly. It is about progress and not perfection. It is messy but when we truly come from our hearts an...2021-01-1426 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAre You Camouflaging?At the start of season 2 Kim and Tia talk about the consequences of putting our masks back on or not fully removing them and playing roles. It can feel suffocating and it can prevent us from being alive and authentic. They do discuss that it can feel and be extremely difficult to be vulnerable and to show up fully authentic because we so often fear rejection and separation. However, when we choose to armor up and protect our heart our hearts can become calcified and we feel “dead” inside. It is a crossroad for sure and a difficult one for...2021-01-0731 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsLooking Back at Your 2020 YardstickWhat a year 2020 has been. Kim and Tia take a look back and reflect on all the growth and challenges that the year has brought them. As the quote below says, if we are making mistakes then we are trying new things and learning and growing. If we allow ourselves to see life events as opportunities to grow and learn we can have a perspective of abundance rather than lack and scarcity. When we allow ourselves to look at the yardstick behind us we can see the growth that we have achieved and when we look at life as...2020-12-3142 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsEmbracing the ValleysIn this episode Kim and Tia discuss the importance of embracing our valleys or in other words embracing our pain or discomfort. Life will always have pain because pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. When we choose to suffer is when we create those Grand Canyons that then become increasingly difficult to climb out of. It can be difficult to recognize or to even accept that we may be co-creating a Grand Canyon by choosing to avoid painful feelings, and that is why it is so crucial to find a person or a group or community that can h...2020-12-2429 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsIs Your Valley Becoming a Gorge?Do you feel like life is a constant struggle? Do you feel like you are in a perpetual state of feeling triggered and reactive to life’s events and other people? Kim and Tia continue the conversation that they had a few episodes ago about how life is neutral and it is our histories, our beliefs and our thoughts that keeps us suffering. When we can learn how to walk through the valleys and reach the peaks, we can live a life of more freedom, peace and presence. This does not mean that we are always on the peaks be...2020-12-1720 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAre You in the Wilderness?In the last episode Kim and Tia talked about being in the arena which means showing up and being vulnerable. In this episode they continue the conversation about being in the wilderness. They discuss the struggle of being 100 percent authentic because at times when we are authentic and show our true selves there is a risk of being rejected and like the quote says that belonging is so primal and so necessary that the thought of being rejected or losing someone is terrifying. So instead of being truly authentic, we fit in in order to feel like we belong...2020-12-1035 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsDeer in the HeadlightsHow comfortable are you with vulnerability? Do you find it hard to step into the arena and share your truest self with others or do you hide behind a mask for fear of being judged? Kim and Tia discuss what it is like for them to show up and share their truest selves. It can be so hard to show others your deepest fears or your truest feelings because we are so conditioned to push our feelings down and show up as all put together. When we can take the risk and have the courage to step in the...2020-12-0330 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsHere and NowDo you live with presence or do you continually find yourself worrying about the future? Are you able to show up and be yourself with people or do you feel that you have to wear a “mask” when you are around other people. This life as we know it can be gone in an instant. We never know if we have tomorrow so are you living this life to the fullest and showing up as your true self. Are you even being true to yourself and living life the way you want to live your life or are you livi...2020-11-2618 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsSlowing the Free FallIn the previous episode, Kim and Tia discussed that when we believe the thoughts and stories we tell ourselves, we create suffering for ourselves. Essentially when there is an event that takes place we all attach a meaning to that event. We label the event as good or bad, rather than just saying that it just is. We attach a meaning to these events and then that meaning creates an emotion and that emotion creates a feeling in our bodies, which then causes a particular behavior. This is how we develop habits and addictions as well as our limiting...2020-11-1922 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsClimbing Out Of Our Rabbit HoleTo sign up for our FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to: https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack In this episode Kim and Tia continue the conversation from the previous episode and discuss practical tools that one can use when you are aware that you are numbing your feelings. If you are unaware of what you even feel that is perfectly fine because you can begin to notice in your body where you feel the emotion. Just begin to be aware and then sit with the feelings even for ninety seconds because often that is the amount...2020-11-1230 min

The Parent & Teen ToolboxEP 35 - Tia Fagan - How to Avoid Parenting From FearWhat a year 2020 has been already! Our children have so much to navigate at the minute, that it can be really daunting for parents to learn how to relinquish control. It’s our responsibility to guide our children through all the challenges and obstacles that they are facing. If you can relate to this, you’ll love this episode with Tia Fagan, who encourages us beautifully to parent from a place of curiosity rather than fear. When we learn to let go and parent from the heart - it somehow take...2020-11-1044 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWalking with Fear and UncertaintyHow often do you find yourself trying to get rid of or ignoring your fears and anxieties? How often do you notice that you are trying to control people, places and things because you can not be certain of the outcome? In this episode Kim and Tia talk about some tools and tips that you can use when you are having big feelings, and how you can embrace them and work with them instead of staying stuck in the fear, anxiety and control. When we can learn to feel our feelings and embrace the uncertainty, then we are in...2020-10-2921 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe Body Leads the WayIn the last episode Kim and Tia talked about giving ourselves permission to slow down and rest. In this episode they continue the conversation and talk about how important it is to listen to our bodies. Our bodies will tell us when to rest, when to move, what to eat and how much to eat etc.. if we just listen. The problem is that often we don’t listen to the body and we do everything from our minds and in particular from our old outdated belief systems and from the masks that we wear. This causes us to be...2020-10-2227 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsComing Up For AirTo sign up for our FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to: https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack Check out our other courses as well at https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/courses When you find yourself drowning because life feels so overwhelming and you feel like you are just trying to do everything and do it perfectly and you are trying to manage and control every part of your life and maybe others too, there are many life preservers that can keep you afloat. In this episode Kim and Tia talk about some of the many...2020-10-1528 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsSharing Our JourneyTo sign up for the FREE Balancing Your Backpack Course go to https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack In this episode Kim and Tia share a little more of their journey on how they each got on to the path of awakening. They share where they started and on they got on this path. Then they share how they met each other and how they came together to do Masks Off podcast. Tia is a Certified Conscious Parent Coach and she runs circle groups as well. If you would like to book a session with T...2020-10-0841 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAlways a Work in ProgressTo sign up for the FREE Balancing Your Backpack course go to https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack Are you aware of your inner dialogue? Do you constantly beat yourself up and put yourself down? Do you constantly feel that you have to please, perform and be perfect? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you will want to listen to this episode. In fact, you might want to read “The Gift of Imperfection” by Brene Brown. Kim and Tia talk about some of the key lessons in this book as Brene Brown celebrates the...2020-10-0625 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsStay In Your LaneTo sign up for the FREE Balancing Your Backpack course go to https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack It is so typical for humans to feel and think that there is not enough to go around for everyone whether that be jobs, money, shelter, raises, opportunities or whatever. We are so conditioned and wired from caveman times that it is all about “survival of the fittest.” So, as a culture we still compete and compare rather than cultivating a mindset that there is an abundance in the Universe. When we are in a place of scarcity and lack...2020-10-0133 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsBig Announcement!!To sign up for the FREE Balancing Your Backpack course go to https://unlocking-authenticity.teachable.com/p/balancing-your-backpack In addition to announcing Balancing Your Backpack, Kim and Tia talk about values and being in alignment with your values. As the quote indicates, are you true to yourself? Do you have the courage to stay in alignment with your values or do the masks you wear keep you from doing the things in life that are really important to you? What gets in the way of staying true to yourself besides the masks that we wear? Oftentimes it...2020-09-2932 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsBalancing ActAre you striving to have perfect balance in your life? Or, do you have no balance at all? Are you completely out of alignment and therefore, out of balance? It is difficult for over achievers, people pleasers, martys or caretakers because they are doing too much of one thing. There is little balance in their lives. It is the “shoulds” in our lives that continue to push us and we do more than be. We can easily be human doings and not human beings. It can also show up where some are not motivated and can become depressed. There are...2020-09-2427 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe Thought TrainHow often have you found yourself caught in a mental tailspin because of a situation that you thought was overwhelming? Have you ever noticed yourself spiral out of control because you lacked control in a particular situation? Did you notice a heavy feeling as a result of your reaction to whatever that particular situation was? Kim and Tia discuss the importance of staying in the moment or at least returning to the moment when you feel yourself going into control mode or anxiety land. It is also key to learn the art of going inward and becoming aware of...2020-09-2226 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsReclaiming Your WorthIn this episode Kim and Tia continue the conversation on worthiness. They discuss how difficult it can be to know our worth and value. It can be difficult to know our value and in particular if you have a business or service and you need to charge for your time, skill, effort and energy. We can get caught in a story line of “not good enough” or “not worthy enough” and not be compensated for what we are worth. Unfortunately, in this world money is tied to worth. You can also see throughout your day whether or not you value you...2020-09-1728 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAre You Hiding?Do you feel that your life is flat? Do you feel dull or dimmed down? Another way of asking the question is do you feel like you are playing small? Does your life feel like groundhog day? Perhaps you are just spinning your wheels and feel like you are going nowhere. If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, you are probably cut off from your true authentic self and not living the life that you were meant to live. You are most likely wearing many masks and unable to show up in your life being authe...2020-09-1525 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe Stories We Tell OurselvesHow often have you heard yourself say, “When I lose weight , then I will be happy, when I get married then I will be happy, when I have a family then I will be happy etc… You fill in the blank. We are all chasing that pursuit of happiness. The issue is that we are not living in the present moment. The reality is that what we create in our present reality will keep showing up in our future. If we want our future to be different we must choose in the present moment what we want to manifest in t...2020-09-1042 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsCultural Conditioning & Our MasksHow often do you find yourself trying to fit in with others in order to feel accepted. Do you find yourself trying to meet other peoples’ expectations of who they want you to be rather than being your true self? Whereas, true belonging is when we can be exactly who we are and know that the people we are with will accept us completely. When we find our tribe this is when we can truly exhale and be our true selves. When we are fitting in our inner values do not match with our outer behaviors. Cultural conditioning is th...2020-09-0822 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsDo You Avoid Setting Boundaries?How comfortable are you with setting boundaries with others? Are you afraid that if you set a boundary that you run the risk of being rejected? Are you afraid that if you disappoint others and don’t please that you will not feel connected to others? The problem is that when we do this throughout our lives we will just live in roles and we will lose who we truly are. We might not even know what our values are or what our interests are because we spend more of our time pleasing others. We are encouraging you to ta...2020-09-0334 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Avoidance" MaskDo you find yourself getting stuck in the avoidance mask? Do you “numb out” with TV, social media, isolation, and maybe using substances to avoid conflict and even avoiding your feelings? Many of us have been conditioned that when we have a conflict with another that we just ignore our feelings. We were never taught how to resolve our conflicts and we were never taught how to deal with our feelings. It is so important to learn the skill of resolving conflict and to learn the skill to deal with our feelings. The issue is that when we avoid life...2020-09-0127 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsUnderstanding Our Inner ChildKim and Tia have an in-depth and interesting conversation about what the inner child is and how the inner child plays a part in our adult lives. The inner child is the part of ourselves that is still wounded and shows up in different ways depending on who you are. Most often the ways in which the inner child shows up is holding us back or keeping us stuck. It is usually when we are triggered or upset that the inner child shows up. As we begin to heal and develop the adult self, the adult self is responsible...2020-08-2740 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsYour Feelings Create Your LifeDo you believe that to manifest what you want in your life, all you have to do is wish it or think it and therefore you will receive it? The reality is that to be a true manifestor, one must heal and clear old outdated and negative belief patterns as well as feel your pain and thus allow it to heal. If we just push down our feelings by ignoring them, we promise you that pain will not go away. That pain will stay stuck in your body and the limiting or outdated belief systems will remain in the subconscious...2020-08-2525 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsNonattachment and SurrenderingHow good are you at trusting the Universe that you will receive everything that you need? Are you able and willing to release any and all attachment to the outcomes you desire? Surrender often feels so counterintuitive and yet, it is the key to manifesting what you want. It is actually resistance that blocks what we want to manifest. Our resistance and our attachments to outcomes is what blocks things from happening. It is important to recognize that our resistance can show up as fear or unworthiness. We are co-creators of our reality, and as a result it is...2020-08-2046 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAttracting, Alignment and Manifestation?Are you in flow with your life? Are you aware of different signs that the Universe sends to you, and if so, do you listen? Kim and Tia talk about manifesting. They explain that we are manifesting all the time whether it is what we desire or not, we are manifesting. The Universe is forever generous in giving us lessons to learn and unless we go inward and do the work, we will continue to “invite” people and situations into our lives that are opportunities to learn and evolve. In order to truly manifest what we desire, it is impo...2020-08-1834 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & Perfectionists1st Arrow/2nd ArrowDo you ever notice when you make a mistake or do something that maybe you wish you had not done or said something that you wish you had not said, and do you then beat yourself up for doing so? If you have, then when you beat yourself up that is a second arrow. We all make mistakes because we are human, but what we don’t need to do is shame ourselves or others when we or they make a mistake. The second arrow is what gets us stuck in our patterns because now we feel unworthy or no...2020-08-1341 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWhy Do We Suffer?Kim and Tia share how difficult it can be to accept and take 100 percent responsibility for our reactions to what happens in our lives. It can be so hard to be aware when we are resisting other people or events. It is when we resist in our lives that we co-create our own suffering. When we can accept life on life’s terms and just remind ourselves that life is life and flow with life we have less suffering. This does not mean that we are always happy with what is happening or that we even like the present mo...2020-08-1119 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsBoundaries - What Really Are They?Do you hesitate to set a necessary boundary with another because you are afraid of the possible push back. Setting boundaries can be very difficult for the people pleaser because there may be conflict and the people pleaser does not want to disappoint. How often do you find yourself saying yes to someone when you really want to say no. If you find yourself doing this often, the consequence to yourself is that you may notice that because you are not being truthful or authentic, you run the risk of not feeling good about yourself. Boundaries are healthy for...2020-08-0638 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsDo You Compare Yourself to Others?Kim and Tia discuss the negative effects of comparing oneself to another. Often when we compare ourselves there is a tendency to feel less than and to fall into lack. When we compare we will often create blocks and therefore, we stop our creative flow. It is a way of preventing ourselves from putting ourselves out into the Universe. It is the ego that gets in the way and it is the ego that says you are not good enough or the other is better than me. It is not about being perfect. It is about being the best...2020-08-0431 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAre Your Limiting Beliefs Keeping You From Living Your Best Life?Many people are unable to achieve their wants and desires because they have deeply ingrained belief systems that what they want is unavailable to them. When people believe that freedom, peace, joy, abundance, success, wealth, health, love or whatever else they want is unavailable, then they will not attract those things in their lives. We must be in alignment with our truth in order to manifest all that we desire. Just having wishful thinking will not get you there. You must be aware of your limiting belief systems and then reprogram your mind in order to be in alignment...2020-07-3036 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsNo Pain! No Gain! Do You Choose Comfort or Discomfort?Do you typically follow the path of least resistance or do you play it safe and stay comfortable? Do you like to take risks and “rock the boat” or do you prefer predictability and safety? Tia and Kim talk about their experiences of stepping outside the box and times when they did not, because fear held them back. In order to grow we must step outside of our comfort zone and find the courage to push past the fear in order to grow. Often times what holds us back from pushing ourselves to our edge is our limiting beliefs that...2020-07-2834 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsUnderstanding Co-CreationHold on to your hats for this episode. Kim and Tia get real and a bit controversial. This is a difficult conversation but one that needs to be said. While we may not cause or create events that happen to us, we do have a choice about how we respond and show up to the event or stimulus. We have a part in every relationship and every outcome that comes about and that may be a hard pill to swallow for many. Like we have said before, if we accept our part and take responsibility for our part, we...2020-07-2339 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsTaking 100% ResponsibilityHow often do you notice yourself complaining about another or pointing a finger at the other? Are you able to take responsibility for your part in these situations? As long as you blame another or believe that the other is responsible for your feelings, you allow yourself to stay in a victim mode. It is so hard to look in the mirror and ask ourselves what ownership do we have to take. How can we take 100% responsibility for whatever happens in our lives? There is so much power in taking action and taking responsibility for our lives as we...2020-07-2137 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsTaking Things PersonallyDo you find yourself overreacting to the things that people say or do? Do you feel triggered when another gives their opinion about you? Are you creating a story in your mind that has nothing to do with the reality of what is happening? In these situations it is important to pause and ask yourself if you are taking something personally and it is important to ask yourself how important is what the other is saying or doing. If it won’t matter in five years, then it is worth letting go. Kim and Tia talk about the importance of...2020-07-1643 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Martyr" MaskIn this episode Kim and Tia have an honest and raw conversation about what it means to be a martyr. If you feel resentful because of the sacrifices that you make for others, most likely you are wearing a martyr mask. If you make sacrifices from your heart and it is genuine, you most likely won’t feel resentful. Often the martyr struggles to set boundaries and therefore, makes those sacrifices and says yes to others rather than saying “no” when you want to say no. It is so important to create a connection with ourselves so that we are st...2020-07-1430 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAsking For and Meeting Our NeedsIn this episode Kim and Tia discuss how difficult it can be to ask another person for what we need. In reality, it is up to the individual to meet their own unmet needs. While we can ask another to meet a need, at the end of the day it is not the other person’s responsibility to meet that need. While it is reasonable to express our wants, desires and needs, we must let it go at that and not expect the other to say yes. The other person has the right to say “no” to our request and we...2020-07-0935 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Denial" MaskAre you able to look at the truth of who you are? Kim and Tia discuss how the denial mask can create separation between ourselves and others by judging and blaming others instead of taking ownership of our part and our own responsibility. We are often afraid to look at our weaknesses and take responsibility for our behaviors since it is easier to point the finger at the other. We cannot live wholehearted and authentic lives unless we begin to embrace our light and our shadow side. It is important to do the inner work and heal the wounds...2020-07-0727 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsUnderstanding AcceptanceAccepting your reality can be difficult to do, but the truth is the only choice is to accept the “as is” otherwise you can create more suffering in your life. It is difficult to lean into the discomfort of the messiness that life brings. We cannot control other people, places, and things. We can only control ourselves. Life is 20 percent of what happens and 80 percent of how we respond. How do you show up and respond when reality is uncomfortable? Do you immediately go into fear, anxiety or lack? Do you want to fix and control? Or, do you paus...2020-07-0235 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsAuthenticity and Self TruthKim and Tia take a deeper dive into what it means to be truly authentic. They discuss how culture conditions us to fit into a mold of who we should be. It is like sheep to the slaughter house. We start out going to school, then graduating, perhaps college, get married, have a good job, have kids, then retire. This is the path for many. Rarely do we really ask ourselves what we truly want in life. Very few people follow the path less travelled. Imagine a world in which kids are taught at an early age to go...2020-06-3043 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Controller" MaskHow often do you find yourself living in the future? Are you living your life in the past or the future? How often can you live in the present moment? We are not taught to live in the present. The only thing we have is the present moment and to think we have control over the future or over another is an illusion. It gives one a false sense of power/control. We often feel that we need to have a sense of control, when we are in fear. Fear is the underpinning of the need to be in...2020-06-2535 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Shame" MaskIn this episode Kim and Tia talk about how dangerous shame can be when we hide our stories where we feel shame from others to see. Keeping those shame stories inside is like putting a cover on a petri dish and allowing something to grow. It is not our fault that we do not want to be raw and real because society has conditioned us to be afraid to be our real selves. If we do not fit into the societal norms or do something wrong, we can feel less than. It is important to share our stories in...2020-06-2332 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe "Victim" MaskDo you find yourself blaming or complaining about other people, places and things? Do you feel frustrated because you can’t change or control people? Do you feel like everything happens TO you? And wonder again why me? A key signature behavior that we are in victim mode is complaining and resisting the as is. As we learn to take responsibility for our reactions or responses to situations we begin to feel more empowered and less like a victim. The more we can assert ourselves and recognize our part in a situation, the more we can use our own po...2020-06-1828 min

Mindfulness at WorkBlack Lives Matter discussion with Tia Fagan on Mindfulness at Work-the Podcast.Disclaimer: In this episode, we discuss times we have caused harm. We encourage you to seek real BIPOC educators and pay them for their expertise. We know we are not experts. If you listen please know that as white women of privilege, having been on this journey for only a few years, we recognize our privilege and fragility. We discuss times we caused harm to BIPOC in actions and words. We are learning about racism and hope to share our journey as we educate ourselves about its centuries-long impacts. Tia Fagan and Cara would like...2020-06-1753 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe 'Rescuer' MaskDo you have a difficult time watching your loved ones when they are struggling and in emotional pain? Do you feel like you want to fix peoples’ problems because you can’t bear that pain? In this episode, Kim and Tia explore that the 'rescuer' truly wants to avoid their own emotional pain, which is why they want to fix the other. When we feel anxious and fearful we often want to control the situation to try to have those feelings go away. Beginning to become comfortable with the uncomfortable is when we are able to grow and...2020-06-1623 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsExploring Racism as White WomenDisclaimer: this episode is a conversation between 2 white women about doing their own work around racism, deconstructing and becoming more antiracist. This conversation includes situations where we have caused harm to BIPOC through actions and words. If you are a BIPOC, we are deeply sorry for harm done in the past, now, and in the future as we continue our education and strive to be more antiracist. Our intention is to not cause more harm or trauma so want to be clear what we are sharing in this podcast. We are not asking you to hold space, educate us o...2020-06-1146 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe 'People Pleaser' MaskIn episode 7, Kim and Tia talk about the 'People Pleaser' mask. How many of us were conditioned to be the “good girl” when we were growing up? People pleasers are raised to not assert themselves. Many of us are people pleasers because we are secretly seeking outside validation and approval. While we might think we are helping the other, the truth is that we are trying to fill something within ourselves. Culture has conditioned us to look outward instead of inward for that validation. Often we ignore our gut feeling of what is right for us and foreg...2020-06-0926 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsThe 'Perfectionist' MaskHow do you show up in your life? Are you able to be your true self? Can you show up with others and be a hot mess or do you feel like you need to show the world that everything is fine and perfect? Do you seek approval through over-achieving and over-perfecting? Kim and Tia take a deep dive and explore how we seek approval and validation from the outside rather than going inward and feeling our own validation from ourself. “Owning our story can be hard but not nea...2020-06-0224 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWhy remove our masks?No Risk. No Reward. In this episode Kim and Tia share the benefits that are possible as you begin to remove the masks that you wear and become more authentic. You begin to feel more empowered, free, and energized. You may notice that your relationships with people begin to improve or you may even move away from relationships that no longer serve you. As you begin to take off the masks that you wear you will start to shine your light more and more. It is not an easy process to go inward and explore those patterns but if...2020-05-1620 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWhat may happen when we wear our masks?Do you ever wonder why you feel depressed or anxious? Do you ever wonder why you don’t have fulfilling relationships in your life? Do you feel like you aren’t living your best life? In this episode Kim and Tia talk about the results/outcomes that may surface when we wear masks and cover up who we really are on the inside. Do you struggle to be vulnerable with people because it feels scary to show your real self. Vulnerability is the birthplace of true connection, but it takes courage to say what we really think and what we f...2020-05-1617 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWhy do we start wearing our masks?In this episode Kim and Tia talk about how the masks that we wear were created and why we continue to wear them. We don’t come into this world feeling unworthy, unloveable or fearful. We come into this world pure and shining our light. Anytime you look at babies or toddlers, they are so comfortable in their skin and they do not care what others think of them. Because of our upbringing and cultural conditioning, the Ego creates masks or armour to protect the inner child. Fear of being our true selves is the underlying reason that we de...2020-05-1615 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWhat are some of the masks we wear?Do you play small and dim your light or do you shine bright and stand in your self-worth? In this episode Kim and Tia talk about the various masks we create, and how wearing these masks dim our light and hide us from being who we truly are. Do you get sucked in by Facebook and Instagram and think how wonderful life is for the people you are viewing? When we compare, there is a feeling of less than or unworthiness. What mask are you wearing right now? “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Ou...2020-05-1616 min

Masks Off For People-Pleasers & PerfectionistsWhat is the Masks Off Podcast?In this episode Kim and Tia introduce themselves and share how their journey of creating Masks Off began. They share their journey, thus far, of becoming more authentic. They talk about how being vulnerable is scary and it takes courage to show up and share their truth. In each episode, Kim and Tia will have real and honest conversations about the masks that people wear. They will share their experiences and how they have struggled and succeeded to become more authentic. "It’s how we women are brought up. Don’t take credit. Don’t outshine others. But th...2020-05-1611 min $Powerful Parenting for Today\'s Kids$ Powerful Parenting for Today's KidsEp 463 Understanding power struggles with Tia FaganIn today's episode, I talk with my good friend Tia Fagan about understanding the power struggles we find ourselves in with our children, as well as what to do about it once we recognize it. Tia will also be speaking at our Revolutionizing Parenthood conference in April. I hope you can join us! ► Subscribe to my YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoFMYuRYxQS6LR10bqneIOA?sub_confirmation=1 Get your copy of my book here - https://amzn.to/2LFw3l0 Join my FREE Facebook group where we talk about all things par...2020-03-1318 min

Spark JoyEp 101 | Conscious Parenting 101 with Tia FaganTia Fagan introduces us to Conscious Parenting, a philosophy that encourages parents to wake up so to speak and ask themselves "why are they trying so desperately to control their child’s destiny?" Certified Conscious Parent Coach Tia Fagan helps parents create deeper connections, increase communication, and improve their relationships. We dive into a parenting method Oprah Winfrey called a revolutionary approach, that can change parenting as we know it. We first learned about the philosophy of Conscious Parenting while listening to OWN’s Super Soul Sunday podcast. The approach stems from the ideas of Dr. Shefali and...2019-09-1032 min

The Soulpreneur Lifestyle podcastSeason 1 Ep. 14 - [Interview] Happiness? That's Greek to me.Today's guest, Tia Fagan, is a Conscious Parenting coach and one of the founders of the Wisconsin Eudamonia Center. Eudamonia is a Greek term for "human flourishing and prosperity," and she and her partners aspire to teach the community around them the tools to be able to thrive. Tia often works with adolescents (or parents of adolescents) to help them get in touch with their inner selves. In this episode, she shares insight on how she manages the time she spends in and on her business, while still being present for her kids. Find Tia at:2019-05-0656 min

The Good Works Show48in48, Goodwill Volunteer Tia Fagan 061017Find out how 48in48 is helping nonprofits build websites and how Tia Fagan gives back to Goodwill.2017-06-0942 min