Shows
Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #109 - ROCKY"Aaaaaaaddddddddrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiaaaaaaaannnnnnnn"
Episode 109 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1976 meat pounding, stair running, Italian Stallioning classic Rocky. Ryan and Mark discuss online trolls, Chat GPTs writing us some jokes and the morals of allowing someone with learning difficulties take on a world title fight.
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2025-10-131h 24Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #108 - FOUR LIONS"Rubber dinghy rapids bro."
Episode 108 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 bleach buying, crow exploding, Dancing In The Moonlighting classic Four Lions. Ryan and Mark discuss taking photos at Auschwitz, Donald Trump impressions and why this is the darkest comedy you will see.
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2025-10-061h 16Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #107 - INDECENT PROPOSAL"Would you mind lending me your wife?"
Episode 107 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 old man pumping, brick metaphoring, hippo auctioning classic Indecent Proposal. Ryan and Mark discuss memorials, dirty talk in bed and ask why the fuck Billy Connolly is in this film.
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2025-09-251h 42Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #106 - BRAVEHEART"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM"
Episode 106 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 primo noctusing, York sacking, hung drawn and quaretering classic Blraveheart. Ryan and Mark discuss soap operas, multiple celebrity deaths and try to figure out whether anything in this film is accurate.
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2025-09-181h 20Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #105 - BLACK SWAN"I just want to be perfect"
Episode 105 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 pirouette-ing, plié-ing, arabesque-ing classic Black Swan. Ryan and Mark discuss pickling things, what you would do if you won the lottery and why most actors don't deserve to win Oscars.
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2025-09-111h 23Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #104 - SE7EN"What's in the box"?
Episode 104 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 force feeding, Wild Bill leathering, deadly sinning classic Se7en. Ryan and Mark discuss being in the Outer Hebrides, how you lamp someone and the best way to prevent being sexually assaulted in prison.
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2025-09-051h 11Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #103 - SUPERMAN (1978)"Your name is Kal-El. You are the only survivor of the planet Krypton."
Episode 103 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1978 earth spinning, cape swaying, fortress of solituding classic Superman. Ryan and Mark discuss the Fringe, unappreciative children and whether there was any need to see baby Superman's penis.
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2025-08-271h 21Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #102 - HARD BOILED"Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God."
Episode 102 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird cage smashing, library assassining, shootout baby carrying classic Hard Boiled. Ryan and Mark discuss losing to the homeless, shite trains and why Hong Kong's police force is the worst in the world.
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2025-08-211h 09Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #101 - RESERVOIR DOGS"Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?"
Episode 101 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 ear-slicing, Like A Virgin-ing, Super Sounds of the 70's-ing, classic Reservoir Dogs. Ryan and Mark discuss their festival weekend, The Lionnesses and Nelson suggests this film created podcasts.
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2025-08-111h 16Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #100 - JAWS"Here's to swimming with bow-legged women"
Episode 100 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1975 child eating, barrel raising, farewell and adieuing classic, abd GREATEST FILM EVER MADE Jaws.
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2025-08-051h 27Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #99 - HEAT"For me the action is the juice"
Episode 99 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 armoured car ramming, street shootouting, GREAT ASSing classic Heat. Ryan and Mark talk about the deaths of Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan, the Coldplay couple and decide on who is better, Pacino or De Niro.
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2025-07-251h 25Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #98 - DIRTY DANCING"Nobody puts baby in the corner"
Episode 98 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 watermelon carrying, backstreet abortioning, time of my lifeing classic Dirty Dancing. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson's holiday scam, autistic celebrities and why Swayze deserved a better career.
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2025-07-181h 37Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #97 - JUMPER"I told you I'm different. I could have dropped you with the sharks."
Episode 97 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 Sphinx squatting, Colliseum scrapping, blond Samuel L Jacksoning disaster Jumper. Ryan and Mark talk about things being gay, Cullen ruining yet another Whatsapp group and why Hayden Christiansen has less charisma than a toilet roll tube.
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2025-07-091h 24Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #96 - THE WOLF OF WALL STREET"Sell me this pen."
Episode 96 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2013 dwarf tossing, lude tanning, fun couponing classic The Wolf Of Wall Street. Ryan and Mark talk about Bonnie Blue, lawless golf and whether this film glamourises being a horrible human being.
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2025-07-021h 31Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #95 - WANTED"I say kill them all, and let fate sort out the mess."
Episode 95 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 keyboard smashing, rat exploding, bullet bending classic Wanted. Ryan and Mark talk about fridges, the population of Andorra and what Arnold Schwarzenegger says during sex.
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2025-06-251h 23Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #94 - CHINATOWN"Have you ever heard the expression "Let sleeping dogs lie"? Sometimes you're better off not knowing."
Episode 94 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1974 water warring, nose slicing, sister and daughtering classic Chinatown. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson dying his hair again, World War 3 and the horribleness of Roman Polanski.
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2025-06-191h 01Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #93 - FOOTLOOSE"Did you ever get busted for bopping?"
Episode 93 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 tractor chickening, mill swinging, Sunday shoe kicking offing disaster Footloose Ryan and Mark talk about the size of Cullen balls, Chat GPT and why no one in the film can actually dance.
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2025-06-121h 16Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #92 : SCHINDLER'S LIST“Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.”
Episode 92 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 enamel making, red coat wearing, hope reaffirming classic Schindler's List. Ryan and Mark talk about Sydney Sweeney's bath water, mental books for kids and find out a wild nearly casting for this film.
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2025-06-051h 18Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #91 : MISSION IMPOSSIBLE II"This is not mission difficult, Mr. Hunt, it's mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you."
Episode 91 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 , rock climbing, disease creating, motorbike jousting classic Mission Impossible II. Ryan and Mark talk about farting on cakes, Napoli and why Ethan Hunt is the way he is with women.
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2025-05-291h 21Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts # 90- SLITHER"It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease"
Episode 90 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 tentacle probing, bath worming, exploding in a barn-ing classic Slither. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's memorable taxi journey, blood tests and why this is the most fucked up film they have seen in a long time.
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2025-05-221h 24Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #89 : STAND BY ME"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve"
Episode 89 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 child smoking, leech pulling, competitive pie eating classic Stand By Me. Ryan and Mark talk about if certain things would get you arrested, Cullen conquering LA and how you should remove a leech.
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2025-05-161h 22Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #88 : TOMBSTONE"I'm your huckleberry"
Episode 88 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 lungering, opium tanning, pistol whipping classic Tombstone. Ryan and Mark talk about how pish coffee is, golf and what character we would be in a Western.
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2025-05-081h 35Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #87 : DOGMA"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch"
Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing, female Almighty-ing classic Dogma. Ryan and Mark talk about pilates, Kneecap, and Nelson asks the most controversial question on the podcast to date.
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2025-05-011h 21Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #86 : MISSISSIPPI BURNING"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!"
Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 cornholing, shitkicking, good ole boying classic Mississippi Burning. Ryan and Mark talk about Judas, Willem Dafoe's cock and Cullen reveals the most mental thing he almost did.
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2025-04-251h 10Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #85 : ROMEO MUST DIE"Guns don't kill people. People kill people"
Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing, Aaliyahing pile of shit Romeo Must Die. Ryan and Mark talk about crows, offensive Irish jokes and Nelson gets Cullen with the best one for a while.
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2025-04-161h 06Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #84 : SHAUN OF THE DEAD"You've got red on you"
Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me Now-ing classic Shaun Of The Dead. Ryan and Mark talk about pig farms, comfortable shoes and the best weapon to kill a zombie.
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2025-04-091h 05Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #83 : AUSTIN POWERS INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY“Allow myself to introduce... myself.”
Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing, yeah babying classic Austin Powers. Ryan and Mark talk about aspirin, Val Kilmer and disagree over how hot Elizabeth Hurley is.
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2025-04-0359 minAbsolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #82 : THE LONGEST YARD“You gotta always protect the McNuggets”
Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving, sadistic wardening, convict touchdowning classic The Longest Yard. Ryan and Daniel talk about WhatsApp group nicknames, Karl Urban & fight about their movie tastes.
Normal service resumes next week when Nelson is back from the Alps.
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2025-03-2759 minAbsolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #81 - THE QUEEN"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"."
Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag hunting, curtseying, People's Princess murdering classic The Queen. Mark & Ryan talk about St Paddy's Day, Nelson's first lads holiday and find out the dogs were the real stars of this film.
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2025-03-201h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #80 - WHIPLASH"Now were you rushing or were you dragging?"
Episode 80 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2014 chair hurling, finger bleeding, Caravaning classic Whiplash. Mark & Ryan talk about breakfast in a bag, the Glastonbury line up and what is more important, greatness or happiness?
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2025-03-071h 31Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #79 - THE NAKED GUN"Nice beaver"
Episode 79 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 Queen first pitching, dual safe sexing, OJ Simpsoning classic The Naked Gun. Mark & Ryan talk about modern audiences, getting out of jury duty, and why this film deserved an Oscar.
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2025-02-271h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #78 - THE SNAPPER"I suppose a ride is out of the question?"
Episode 78 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 Spanish sailoring, pints with the ladsing, drinking while pregnanting classic The Snapper. Mark & Ryan discuss eating chicken in bed, Popes and whether this is the most Irish film ever made.
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2025-02-211h 12Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #77 - BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers."
Episode 77 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001 chain smoking, Chardonnay drinking, massive pant wearing horror show Bridget Jones's Diary. Mark & Ryan discuss Amsterdam, Ozempic and why there only seemed to be about 12 English actors through the whole of the 90s/2000s.
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2025-02-141h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #76 - ANACONDA"The last time I was in water like this I had to stay up all night picking leeches off my scrotum"
Episode 76 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 wasp choking, Owen Wilson shagging, sneering at J-Loing classic Anaconda. Mark & Ryan discuss ruining wrestling for kids, Cullen Oscar play offing Nelson and fucking JON VOIGT.
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2025-02-061h 04Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #75 - SIGNS"Swing away Merrill"
Episode 75 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2002 crop circling, faith losing, half water drinking classic Signs. Mark & Ryan discuss what they would do to each other's corpses, where Cullen has stuck his inhaler and Nelson presents another of his theories about this film.
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2025-01-311h 15Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #74 - JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE“I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement"
Episode 74 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 thong wearing, oestrogen slurping, herpes advertising bin fire John Tucker Must Die. Mark & Ryan discuss Nazis in the White House, speaking Czech and why it would be better if someone actually died in this godawful film.
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2025-01-241h 20Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #73 - SPEED"Pop quiz hot shot”
Episode 73 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 lift dropping, subway beheading, 50mph-ing classic Speed. Mark & Ryan discuss why you don’t get many mad bastards anymore, Nelson explains his marathon idea and whether Keane belongs on the action star Mount Rushmore.
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2025-01-151h 37Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #72 - THE NIGHT BEFORE (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)"Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees."
Episode 72 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2015 Nutcracker Balling, Cocaine blooding, Miley Cyrusing classic The Night Before. Mark & Ryan discuss Bram Stoker, how Christopher Reeve died and Ryan revisits his hatred of Anthony Mackie.
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2025-01-091h 15Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #71 - DIE HARD (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs"
Episode 71 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 bare footing, yippe ki aying, now I have a machine gunning classic Die Hard. Mark & Ryan discuss shite advent calendars, Nelson's anti ageing process and what Die Hard is really about.
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2024-12-191h 33Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #70 - ELF (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)"SANTA"
Episode 70 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the twirly wirly gum dropping, son of a nutcrackering, cotton headed ninimugginsing classic Elf. Mark & Ryan discuss hangover cures, the state of modern society and Nelson ruins yet another family favourite with his theories.
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2024-12-121h 20Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #69 - HOME ALONE 2 : LOST IN NEW YORK (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...and a happy New Year"
Episode 69 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird womaning, sticky banditing, Trump cameoing classic Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York. Mark & Ryan discuss dodgy tax deductions, balloon sculpting and Nelson builds on his theories about Peter McAllister and Uncle Frank.
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2024-12-031h 18Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #68 - THE BUSINESS"Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime."
Episode 68 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 sheep shooting, FILA wearing, cunt ordering classic The Business. Mark & Ryan discuss dentists, Wicked and Nelson reveals the wildest film fact yet.
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2024-11-291h 26Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #67 - FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it"
Episode 67 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 school skipping, Ferrari joyriding, Danke Schoening classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Mark & Ryan discuss Gladiator 2, what happened to Cullen's socks and Nelson presents a wild Ferris Bueller theory.
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2024-11-211h 13Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #66- FIRST BLOOD"I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe."
Episode 66 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 vagrant arresting, mineshaft crawling, PTSDing classic First Blood. Mark & Ryan discuss poppies, why London is shite and the Mount Rushmore of action stars.
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2024-11-121h 16Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #65 - SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS"You can't let the animals die in a movie, only the women."
Episode 65 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 dog kidnapping, Irish alcoholicing, Joshua Tree shoot-outing classic Seven Psychopaths. Mark & Ryan discuss the US election result, the Edinburgh beheading and whether Cullen is a psychopath.
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2024-11-071h 23Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #64 - WRONG TURN (Halloween Special)"We are never going into the woods again"
Episode 64 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003 organ jarring, rednecking, in breeding horror Wrong Turn. Mark & Ryan discuss stealing from train companies, Trump on Rogan and cannibals.
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2024-10-311h 14Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #63 - SCREAM (Halloween Special)"What's your favourite scary movie?"
Episode 63 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 Barrymore slashing, Arquette stabbing, ghost facing classic Scream. Mark & Ryan discuss DIY haircuts, sex after relatives have died and why the Woodsboro police force are the worst in the world.
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2024-10-251h 20Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #62 - LETHAL WEAPON"I'm too old for this shit"
Episode 62 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 building jumping, bullet eating, mullet sporting classic Lethal Weapon. Mark & Ryan discuss new bald news, sexual tension with opticians and why this is ones of the greatest action films of all time.
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2024-10-161h 07Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #61 - BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE"69, dudes"
Episode 61 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 most bodacious, most triumphant, most excellent classic Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Mark & Ryan discuss car troubles, time paradoxes and the many crimes of Genghis Khan.
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2024-10-101h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #60 - DREDD“I am the law”
Episode 60 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 people skinning, ma ma-ing, slo-mo-ing classic Dredd. Mark and Ryan talk about school reunions, Eric Clapton's kids, and why slo-mo is cool.
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P...
2024-10-041h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #59 - CASINO“In Vegas, everybody’s gotta watch everybody else.”
Episode 59 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 card cheating, orange suit wearing, head in a vice-ing classic Casino. Mark and Ryan talk about murdering Cullen's cat, taking a shit in the Vatican and whether Sharon Stone would suck Joe Pesci off.
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2024-09-261h 30Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #58 - DEATH TRAIN"I wonder who won Daytona"
Episode 58 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993, plutonium handling, Soviet Unioning, Alister Macleaning bag of shite Death Train
Mark and Ryan talk about Dizzie Rascal, punching bags and everyone hating James Corden.
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2024-09-181h 20Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #57 - MEET JOE BLACK"You're not Death. You're just a kid in a suit."
Episode 57 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998 multiple car crashing, peanut buttering, never ending horror show Meet Joe Black.
Mark and Ryan talk about 9/11 jokes, which drinks belong in which receptacles and ponder what Death would ejaculate.
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2024-09-121h 11Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #56 - THE COMMITMENTS"So say it once, say it loud: I'm black and I'm proud"
Episode 56 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the soul singing, Wilson Picketting, Mustang Sallying classic, The Commitments
Mark and Ryan talk about Chris Benoit, band names and why this film perfectly represents Dublin.
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2024-09-051h 46Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #55 - 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU"What is it with this chick? She have beer flavoured nipples?"
Episode 55 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Shakespearing, Frankie Valli singing, teacher flashing shitshow 10 Things I Hate About You.
Mark and Ryan talk about the Oasis reunion, the rules of wet-shirt contests and why none of the schoolteachers in this film would ever keep their job.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Em...
2024-08-291h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #54 - PREDATOR"What's wrong Dillon, CIA got you pushing too many pencils"
Episode 54 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the greased muscling, testosterone spunking, Arnie quipping classic Predator.
Mark and Ryan talk about Bond girls, which British celebrity would play the Predator and why this might be the greatest film ever made.
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You can f...
2024-08-231h 10Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #53 - THE SIXTH SENSE"I see dead people"
Episode 53 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the Donnie Wahlberging , twisty turning, cheese dicking classic The Sixth Sense.
Mark and Ryan talk about the Fringe, invent the game Cum Ball, and discuss what ghosts can actually do.
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2024-08-171h 06Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #52 - GOAL"My Father saw me play Fulham"
Episode 52 of Absolute Cuts is the second of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the globe trotting, Geordie stereotyping, Zinedine Zidaneing bin fire, Goal.
Mark and Ryan talk about the Euros, racist Mexicans and why none of this film would every happen.
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You ca...
2024-08-011h 11Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #51 - ESCAPE TO VICTORY"This frigging game is ruining my life"
Episode 51 of Absolute Cuts is the first of our Euros specials. This week's episode sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the arm breaking, Victoire chanting, overhead kicking classic Escape To Victory.
Mark and Ryan talk about Glastonbury, Pele talking like Borat and the sheer pointlessness of life.
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2024-07-041h 14Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #50 - TRUE ROMANCE"If there's one thing the last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it."
Episode 50 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the roller coasting, call girling, coming home in a body bagging classic True Romance.
Mark and Ryan talk about the Euros, Cillit Bang and shagging Elvis just before he died.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes an...
2024-06-281h 51Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #49 - BACK TO THE FUTURE"I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it."
Episode 49 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1985 time travelling, flux capaciting, 1.21 gigawatting classic Back To The Future.
Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen's tumour, Nelson's hair and how hot your younger Mum would have to be before you pumped her.
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2024-06-121h 30Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #48 - LEON THE PROFESSIONAL"I like these calm little moments before the storm."
Episode 48 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 family slaying, contract killing, inappropriate sleepovering classic Leon The Professional.
Mark and Ryan talk about how easy it would be to kill a pensioner, drinking milk in a car and why this film is just Luc Besson living out his weird fantasy life.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film....
2024-06-061h 31Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #47 - SEX AND THE CITY 2"Lawrence of my labia"
Episode 47 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 camel riding, gay weddinging, hot nanny obsessing, desert storm of shit Sex And The City 2.
Mark and Ryan talk about rainy music festivals, selling a house and how this film manages to be simultaneously racist, sexist, classist, homophobic and truly awful.
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Yo...
2024-05-311h 29Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #46 - GONE IN 60 SECONDS"I always was a sucker for a redhead."
Episode 46 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 Porsche jacking, Ferrari boosting, low-riding classic, Gone In 60 Seconds.
Mark and Ryan talk about what they would do for £27 million, lawnmowers and why no one in this film is good at their job.
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2024-05-221h 26Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #45 - SEX AND THE CITY"I put a bird on my head."
Episode 45 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 altar jilting, closet building, Vivienne Westwooding, binfire Sex And The City.
Mark and Ryan talk about Eurovision, why not one character in this horrific film is likeable at all and Cullen reads Nelson some of James Joyce's love letters.
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...
2024-05-151h 41Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #44 - THE KARATE KID"Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?"
Episode 44 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984, leg weeping, body bag getting, wax on/wax offing classic The Karate Kid.
Mark and Ryan talk about the bald men meeting up, Nelson becoming an ice bath guy and Cullen's theory on how Miyagi made his money.
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2024-05-081h 35Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #43 - IN BRUGES"You're an inanimate f**cking object"
Episode 43 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008, sight-seeing, Canadian punching, alcove dwelling classic In Bruges.
Mark and Ryan talk about the Irish, Belgium and how to survive a tsunami.
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2024-05-011h 37Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #42 - AIR FORCE ONE"GET OFF MY PLANE"
Episode 42 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997, plane hijacking, Harrison Fording, shite CGI-ing classic Air Force One.
Mark and Ryan talk about balaclavas, Cullen trying to organise a game of 5's and what cool things Air Force One actually has?
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2024-04-251h 36Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #41- THE HANGOVER"Not at the table Carlos"
Episode 41 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2009, teeth pulling, tiger stealing, hooker marrying classic The Hangover.
Mark and Ryan talk about Lady Gaga, treating a cut thumb and of course, VEGAS BABY.
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...
2024-04-181h 13Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #40 - DONNIE DARKO"Sometime I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion."
Episode 40 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001, world saving, portal opening, 6ft rabbiting classic Donnie Darko.
Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen getting a cat, teenage angst and why you are a bellend if you have an expensive bike.
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2024-03-281h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #39 - BATMAN (1989)"Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds."
Episode 39 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989, caped crusading, rhubarb rubbing, pale moonlight dancing classic Batman.
Mark and Ryan talk about horny Joker, the Bat Cock and take smelling salts during the record.
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2024-03-221h 21Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #38 - AMERICAN HISTORY X"People look at me and see my brother."
Episode 38 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999, kerb stomping, flag waving, shower assaulting classic American History X.
Mark and Ryan talk about the Oscars, Edward Furlong and how many books Hitler wrote.
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2024-03-141h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #37 - MISSION IMPOSSIBLE"Those damn Gideons"
Episode 37 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996, mask wearing, disavowing, NOC list stealing classic Mission Impossible.
Mark and Ryan talk about peanuts, old email addresses and the worst thing you could steal from the CIA.
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2024-03-081h 12Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #36 - GOOD LUCK CHUCK"I'd suck a fart out her asshole and hold it like a bong hit"
Episode 36 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007, frisbee throwing, breast showing, penguin's ass eating shitshow Good Luck Chuck.
Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen being in Australia, red pandas and they struggle to convey how truly truly awful this film is.
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Email : absolutecutspodcast@gmai...
2024-02-291h 11Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #35 -ARMAGEDDON"Requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met"
Episode 35 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998, oil drilling, astronaut training, don't wanna miss a thinging classic Armageddon,
Mark and Ryan talk about accidental racism, animal crackers in pubic hair and how mental a bastard Michael Bay is.
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2024-02-211h 21Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #34 - CASTAWAY"Wilsonnnnnnnnn"
Episode 34 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000, parcel delivering, fire starting, raft building classic Castaway,
Mark and Ryan talk about buying a gun, cursed hats and how long it would take us to shag a volleyball.
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...
2024-02-141h 03Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #33 - THE NOTEBOOK"If you're a bird then I'm a bird"
Episode 33 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004, emotionally manipulating, care home dying, too many birding film The Notebook.
Mark and Ryan talk about Tenerife, Skegness and whether Henry Cavill is better looking than Ryan Gosling.
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2024-02-071h 18Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #32 - ANY GIVEN SUNDAY"Either we heal as a team, or we’re going to crumble, inch by inch, play by play, til we’re finished."
Episode 32 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999, quarterbacking, tight ending', inch by inching classic Any Given Sunday.
Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen being hit by cars, dodgy NFL team names and Willie, Willie Beaman.
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Email...
2024-01-311h 04Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #31- THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (1960)"I have been offered a lot for my work but never everything"
Episode 31 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1960, gunslingin', bandit chasin', village savin' The Magnificent Seven.
Mark and Ryan talk Nelson's latest injury, cowboy names and Cullen's taxes\.
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2024-01-241h 03Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #30 - OLD SCHOOL"You're my boy Blue"
Episode 30 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003, going streaking, tranquiliser darting, earmuffing classic Old School.
Mark and Ryan talk fraternities, rider demands and argue a lot about Saltburn.
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2024-01-171h 11Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #29 - ROBOCOP"Can you fly Bobby?"
Episode 29 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987, gun twirling, toxic wasting, dollar buying classic Robocop.
Mark and Ryan talk about the Epstein List, what they got up to over Christmas, and why Murphy dying is all his partner's fault.
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2024-01-101h 02Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #28 - LOVE ACTUALLY (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)"I love that word, 'relationship.' Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it?"
Episode 28 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003, spouse betraying, sex obsessed, fat shaming, Christmas classic Love Actually.
Mark and Ryan talk about every single thing that is wrong with this absolute bin fire of a film. (Mark actually quite likes it).
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
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2023-12-271h 33Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #27 - IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)"Attaboy Clarence"
Episode 27 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1946, moon lassoing, wings achieving, Christmas classic, It's A Wonderful Life.
Mark and Ryan talk about Christmas gigs, competitive drinking and why life would be better if Ryan had never been born.
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2023-12-201h 37Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #26 - DADDY’S HOME 2 (Christmas Special)“Let the kids know that from now on, it's El Padre”
Episode 25 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2017, Bono singing, telephone pole cutting, Christmas classic, Daddy's Home 2.
Mark and Ryan talk about auditions, whether you should say "I love You" to your family, and why John Cena does so much charity work.
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You c...
2023-12-131h 35Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #25 - HOME ALONE (Christmas Special)“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”
Episode 25 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1990, child abandoning, burglar torturing, Christmas classic Home Alone.
Mark and Ryan talk about jumpers, Ryan's first job, and Mark offers up some wild theories about the McAllister family.
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2023-12-061h 30Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #24 - DOWN TO EARTH“When I was a kid, we were so poor that the roaches was on welfare.”
Episode 24 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001, Apollo playing, body inhabiting, comedy classic Down To Earth.
Mark and Ryan talk about meeting Stifler’s Mom, John Lewis ads, and where they stand in the pecking order of comedy.
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You...
2023-11-291h 15Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #23 - THE GOONIES“Hey, you guys”
Episode 23 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1985 treasure hunting, truffle shuffling, adventure classic The Goonies.
Mark and Ryan talk about inhaler sex, how to pronounce words, and what exactly happened to Sloth.
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2023-11-221h 12Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #22 - GOODFELLAS“As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster”
Episode 22 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1990 shoe shine box getting, garlic slicing, gangster epic Goodfellas.
Mark and Ryan talk about Nelson's hatred of people on Instagram, Kit Kats, and whether we could be made men"
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2023-11-151h 00Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #21- WHITE CHICKS“Your mother’s ass is so hairy…it looks like Don King’s about to pop out and say, “Only in America!”
Episode 21 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 prosthetic, race fest, White Chicks.
Mark and Ryan talk about celebrities dying, Terry Crews and some real tough Would You Rather questions.
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You can foll...
2023-11-011h 13Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #20 - HEREDITARY (Halloween Special)"Hail Paimon"
Episode 20 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2018 grief stricken head spinner, Hereditary, in the second of the Halloween Specials.
Mark and Ryan talk about Halloween costumes, seances and the 7 Kings of Hell.
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2023-10-261h 07Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #19 - The Omen (Halloween Special)"It's all for you"
Episode 19 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1976 demonic child horror classic, The Omen, in the first of the Halloween Specials.
Mark and Ryan talk about first class flying, looking at your arse in the mirror and Cullen's weird dream.
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2023-10-1857 minAbsolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #18 - PS I LOVE YOU"I can't believe I married a leprechaun"
Episode 18 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007 mentally manipulative rom com PS I Love You.
Mark and Ryan talk about Belgium, the worst lap dances and how racist this film is towards the Irish.
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2023-10-111h 06Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #17 -KNOCKED UP"Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy"
Episode 17 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2007 accidental pregnancy comedy Knocked Up.
Mark and Ryan talk about biscuits, condoms and Cullen's wild Catholic Church theory.
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2023-10-041h 17Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #16 - BATTLE ROYALE"ヒロキさん、本当にかっこいいですね"
Episode 15 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 classroom beat em up film Battle Royale.
Mark and Ryan talk about massive balls, the good old days of Limewire and which one of them would be killed first.
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2023-09-281h 04Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #15 - FLIGHT"I'm drunk right now"
Episode 15 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 piss head redemption film Flight.
Mark and Ryan talk about Eugene attending a Jazz festival, drunken escapades and Cullen's hatred of various actors.
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2023-09-2049 minAbsolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #14 - FINAL DESTINATION"Carter, you dick"
Episode 14 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 inventive teen death, supernatural film Final Destination.
Mark and Ryan talk about drinking sausage juice, Ashton Kutcher and Jihadis v WWE wrestlers.
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2023-09-131h 06Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #13 - LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS"Can everyone please stop getting shot?"
Episode 13 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1998 cockney gangster classic Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.
Mark and Ryan talk about Vinnie Jones, cockney rhyming slang and what their criminal nicknames would be.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@gmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @A...
2023-09-061h 05Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #12 - THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN"Bag of sand?"
Episode 12 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 deflowering comedy The 40 Year Old Virgin.
Mark and Ryan talk about Cullen being called ugly, how they lost their virginities and whether Nikola Tesla was a shagger.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@gmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
2023-08-311h 01Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #11 - KELLY’S HEROES"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves"
Episode 11 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1970 World War 2 heist movie, Kelly's Heroes.
Mark and Ryan talk about Ryan's trip to Dubai, the futility of War and whether Saddam Hussein has ever had a night out in Dublin.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@gmail.com
You can follow th...
2023-08-2353 minAbsolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan CullenAbsolute Cuts #10 - ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 (2005)"Happy New Year, Sarge"
Episode 10 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 siege remake, Assault On Precinct 13.
Mark and Ryan talk about SWAT tactics, basic therapy and horny cops.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
Email : absolutecutspodcast@gmail.com
You can follow the podcast on social media here -
Twitter : @AbsoluteCuts
Instagram : @AbsoluteCutsPod
Please le...
2023-08-1755 min