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Offstage Acting
Offstage ActingđŸŽ™ïžEp 055 | Kym Jackson: How To Hustle Into Hollywood and The Secret Actor SocietyToday's guest is Kym Jackson — Aussie actor, author, and co-founder of the Secret Actor Society. Kym's journey spans continents and platforms: she launched her career onstage in Australia, made the leap to Hollywood, and hasn't stopped working since. You've seen her on Criminal Minds, NCIS: LA, This Is Us, and SWAT — or in films like Snitch, Iron Sky, and We Bury the Dead. But acting is just one facet of her creative powerhouse. In this episode, Kym opens up about navigating the business with grace and grit — from managing self-tapes and raising a family to launch...
2025-07-151h 53Business Minds Coffee Chat
Business Minds Coffee ChatTodd Herman | How to Unlock the Hero in YouTodd Herman, peak performance coach and mentor, USA Today bestselling author, and an inspiring speaker, joins me on this episode. Todd is known for helping ambitious people win in whatever field they're playing on. He's been featured on major media outlets such as NFL Films, The Today Show, PBS, The Wall Street Journal, the CNN original series KOBE: The Making of a Legend, and many others. đŸŽ™ïž What We Discuss: ✅ A pivotal moment that informed Todd's work ✅ The transformative power of alter egos ✅ Unlocking our hidden potential ✅ And much more!
2025-07-031h 00Offstage Acting
Offstage ActingđŸŽ™ïž Ep 048 | Rob Cairns: From Oxford Stage to Audio Page - Why He Walked Away from ActingSometimes an actor goes through all of the training and all of the courses and pays all their dues and does very well and enjoys the education and the process
 and then steps out into the bright lights of the industry with all its mechanisms and professional trappings, takes a long look around and says: "Meh. You know what? I don't think this is for me. I don't love it." And today, Todd Kramer and Jay Reum talk to just such an actor. His name is Rob Cairns. But don't worry about good old Rob—he's landed on h...
2025-03-111h 27Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting033: WILL TIZARD - Journalist & Actor ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd Kramer Will Tizard is an Arizonian guy who has been living in Prague, Czech Republic for over 25 years. He originally started off on stage at the Scottsdale Arizona Center for the Performing Arts before heading to LA to work a stint as a local crime reporter. Today
 He's a correspondent for Euronews. He's the Central European Correspondent for Variety (the preeminent entertainment industry trade magazine) He's a contributor to National Geographic He's a producer at Radio Free Europe He's a videographer and... Occasionally a character actor appearing in TV...
2024-09-101h 27Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting030: HELENA BUNKER - Stockholm Fringe Festival ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerToday Jay Reum and Todd Kramer are talking with Helena Bunker. Fifteen years ago Helena went out the fringe to start a festival and she has yet to return! She has been a pivotal partner in creating, developing and organizing the Stockholm (that's in Sweden folks) Fringe Festival and has now begun to work on more all over the Nordic and Baltic regions with her partner Adam Potyrkus. Maybe you'd like to go out to the fringe sometime? Perhaps you are even considering creating your own festival out there but wonder what it takes? Well...
2024-08-131h 03Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting028: BONUSODE - "HOME PAGES" ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerFor actors
 PRIVACY is pretty much the first thing that you have to hand over in trade for success. The more successful you become, the less privacy you will get. How should an actor use the online tools available to them? Some take full advantage
 others scorn and denounce
 many are oblivious and even lazy about it. Is there a strategy? In this continuation from Episode 26, Jay Reum and Todd Kramer discuss and share with you exactly what we do, don't do and should do as working actors to shine the spotlight on ourselves, stay relevant and raise ou...
2024-07-301h 10The Jay Young Show
The Jay Young ShowEp 124 : Auditions, Adaptability, and Acting: A Conversation with Todd SandlerIn this special episode of the Jay Young Show, Jay sits down with actor Todd Sandler for an engaging conversation about his career in Hollywood. Todd shares stories from his journey, starting with his theater roots in Chicago to landing roles on hit shows like Everybody Loves Raymond and Glee.  The two discuss the realities of life as a working actor, including audition preparation, on-set experiences, and the challenges of the industry post-COVID and post-strike. Todd offers invaluable advice for aspiring actors and reflects on the changing landscape of fame in the digital age. From dodging popcorn kernels during scenes w...
2024-07-2533 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting027: JEANNETTE ROBINSON - Director, Writer & VO Artist ‱ The Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerJeannette Robinson
 has led one hell of a colorful life
  Starting off as something of a "feral" child living in Jamaica Queens New York, then heading to Michigan to live with her Grandmother where, as a talented athlete, she started to excel in running
 even training for and having Olympic aspirations and then as a teen having to go into care as a ward of the state after her grandmother's passing.   Jeanette has been living in London for over 25 years and has been pursuing a career in the arts since attending Goldsmith's University (very prestigious by the wa...
2024-07-231h 40Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting026: BONUSODE - "CASTING PROFILES" ‱ The Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerActors are a rare breed of animal. Most people hate to work and have too much of it. We love to work! But. we can have a hard time finding that work. Online casting platforms are an actor's calling card, their storefront, where they market and sell their only product
. themselves. Today Jay Reum and Todd Kramer go over their own online profiles together. We talk about what to include, what to exclude, uploading video and audio-clips and showreels, choosing the right photos, updating all your credits and keeping your profile fresh. All of which play a par...
2024-07-1655 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting025: AIMEE MILES - Actor & VO Artist ‱ The Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerAimee Miles has been 100% dedicated to her acting career since childhood. She's a native to Northern California, a graduate of the prestigious Wesleyan University in Connecticut, a bilingual Spanish speaker who did her thesis on Latin American Theatre under military dictatorships... no kidding! Now Aimee lives in the California's Gold Country with her family, has a home studio and she is still working out of a base in San Francisco. Aimee is the true example of someone who never sacrificed their dreams and followed their passion. She's got a metric ton of great advice for other actors...
2024-07-091h 25Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting024: ANNA BRINDLE - Actor ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerIn this episode Jay Reum and Todd Kramer want to introduce you to the lovely London actor, Anna Brindle. Anna is a graduate of the famed ArtsEd acting school and was pushed out into the cold cruel world of struggling actors just as COVID-19 hit and lockdowns came into effect all over London and the world! Still fighting to punch her way through that insane period where everything changed for all of us, and where the entertainment industry came to a grinding halt, Anna is bouncing back! She shares with us her current status and all the details of...
2024-07-021h 22Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting023: MATTHEW BAYLIS - Stand-Up Comedian & Actor ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerMatthew Bayliss is a seasoned stand-up comic who has recently begun to cross-over into acting and, in this episode Jay Reum and Todd Kramer, talk about Matthew's 15 year plus stand up comedy career and track his progress on his new journey to developing his gift for cracking jokes onstage into a talent for professional acting. ※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※ đŸ™‡â€â™‚ïžActors are nothing without an audience.  So, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! đŸ‘âœïžPLEASE... RaTe and ReVieW! 💕 We'd love to hear from you! Ask Jay and Todd anything you want about acting or acting related topics and we will do our best to...
2024-06-181h 41Sweet Potato Pod w/ Todd Royce
Sweet Potato Pod w/ Todd RoyceSweet Potato Pod Ep 10- Big Irish JayWelcome to another episode of the Sweet Potato Pod featuring stand up comedian Big Irish Jay! Join us as we talk about the behind the scenes of being a stand up comic, comedians pet peeves, Big Irish Jay’s “heckler” story, Jay’s weight loss, Todd Royce’s biggest “bomb” moment and much more! And as always, another mind blowing segment of "Off The Todd Rope"! Remember to please hit that like button, leave a review and follow! Thanks all!Socials:Big Irish Jay@bigirishjayTodd Royce@toddroycexxl
2024-06-1358 minThe Grit and Grow Podcast
The Grit and Grow PodcastFrom Family Legacy to Advisory Firm Front-Runner: Todd Clark's Tale of Tenacity and Community Connection | Ep39 #gritandgrowpodcastWhen Todd Clark sat across from us, the air buzzed with a blend of Arizona heat and entrepreneurial fervor; the founder of Ensign Partners had tales to tell that would ignite the fire in any aspiring business owner's heart. His family's legacy of business success and entrepreneurship was the spark that lit his path, and his journey – from the captivating financial workshop in college to the founding of his own advisory firm – is a narrative steeped in dedication and sheer grit. Our conversation delved into the tapestry of challenges and triumphs that mark the life of someone who doesn't just...
2024-05-2135 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting013: BONUSODE - "METHOD ACTING METHODS" ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerIn this episode Jay Reum and Todd Kramer talk about some of the basics of acting training methods; where and how they started (mostly in Eastern Europe and Russia), the methodologists, creators, practitioners, and students, and how these methods have shaped and evolved our experience with performance today. Now, not all actors are followers of a methodology but many are at least exposed to traditional method acting techniques. Because, of course, it takes more than talent to be a professional... it takes training in the craft as well. Here is your primer lesson to acting methods and METHOD ACTING!
2024-04-091h 29Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting012: MARK BELTZMAN - Actor & Improviser ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerAloha! Mark Beltzman is an OG improviser with over 40 years experience on stage and screen. Mark joins the boys, Todd Kramer and Jay Reum from his sofa in paradise... Hawaii to talk about his life and times mastering the secrets of "Allowing", in acting and in life. CREDITS INCLUDE: Billy Madison Home Alone Curb Your Enthusiasm House The Wedding Singer Seinfeld Magnum P.I. CSI Hawaii Brooklyn Nine-Nine Cold Case Speed 2 Mo' Money HOMEPAGE IMDB 01:45 - Showtime  07:53 - The Mark Beltzman Experience  (his showreel) 11:00 - Post showreel chat 12:27...
2024-04-021h 13Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting011: JOSEPH BALDERRAMA - Actor ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerTodd Kramer and Jay Reum talk to this Americanized Mexican who grew up in England... Pepe (JosĂ©) - Joseph Balderrama has a solution to your problem! CREDITS INCLUDE: Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan The Batman Ancient Empires Tad the Lost Exploerer and the Emeral Tablet Dolittle Stan and Ollie Under the Boardwalk Helldivers II The Makery Superfuse TWITTER IMDB 02:10 - Internet problems 04:40 - Todd's morning audition 10:40 - Pepe's showreel 15:25 - Post-showreel ponderings 19:17 - Fatherhood 22:12 - The name change 27:56 - Pepe's timeline 30:55 - Accents and identity 35:51 - Discovering acting 39:20 - Drama school reflections & advice 45:45...
2024-03-261h 37Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting010: MARK CIRILLO - Actor ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerCONTENT ADVISORY WARNING: This episode contains stories of sexual abuse and misconduct perpetrated by a person in a position of power. Jay Reum sits in with two old pals, Todd Kramer and Mark Cirillo as they talk about all the good, bad and ugly truths of their shared university experience as young theater students in the early 90's! This is a bold show where we lay ourselves bare for all to witness. Brace yourselves. CREDITS INCLUDE: Wet Hot American Summer How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypes Those Who Can't Walk of Shame Grey's Anatomy...
2024-03-192h 08Tales From The Sky Lounge-A Business Podcast
Tales From The Sky Lounge-A Business PodcastEp 05 - Jay Kleinman: Winning Strategies From Gridiron Grit to Healthcare InnovationJoining us in the Sky Lounge today is Jay Kleinman, a seasoned healthcare business development and sales strategy expert with over 30 years of experience. Jay dives into his journey from playing football at Auburn University to launching and scaling ventures in the healthcare space. Discover the power of teamwork, the art of sales, and the impact of digital health on elder care. Learn why you should think twice before sending that cold email and how chicken and broccoli can bring a team together. ABOUT OUR GUEST: Jay Kleinman is a Texas-based Partner in TechCXO’s Revenue Growth practice. He su...
2024-03-1537 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting007: BONUSODE - "AUDITIONING" (Part 2) ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerSelf-tapes, useful anecdotes,  and pro-tips abound in this episode of Offstage Acting. Todd Kramer and Jay Reum continue their conversation in this, part 02 on auditioning, self-tapes and more. Definitely not an episode to miss! Have a qustion for Offstage Acting? Or would you like to be or reccomend a guest for Jay and Todd to talk to? Go to https://offstageacting.com/podcast! 1:30 - Shirts 2:31 - Audtioning outfits 5:46 - Audition outfit  mistakes 8:44 - It's all a numbers game 12:02 - Self-tape regulations 15:00 - The regulation terms...
2024-02-2755 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting006: BONUSODE - "AUDITIONING" (Part 1) ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerTodd Kramer and Jay Reum discuss the practice, procedure, problems, and progress in self-taping, castings and auditioning. This two-part episode goes on and on (and on... hence the two parts!) about the casting process. If you're looking for insight from professional actors, you've come to the right place! 00:00 - Intro 02:30 - Podcast kick-off 04:50 - Todd's 2nd favorite movie 08:06 - Todd's favorite genre 10:30 - Sitting still is hard for Jay 12:10 - New Tech! 15:20 - PRO-TIP: Tech 18:38 - Self Tapes 21:20 - Talking about C...
2024-02-2051 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting005: ACTORS NEWS - "Primordial News" ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerJay Reum and Todd Kramer talk about all the news that's fit to print. And a lot of it that isn't! It's Academy Awards time and the nominees have just been announced. Plus, we talk talk their way through the deep waters of the movement to regulate self-tapes, the "tax on hope" debate around online casting portals and so much more! 02:30 - First "quack" of the show 03:30 - International Day of Acting 04:23 - What's new with Jay 06:30 - Jay Genie 07:10 - What's up with Todd  08:45 - Todd s...
2024-02-131h 21Raising Private Money with Jay Conner
Raising Private Money with Jay ConnerPrivate Money and Passive Income in Real Estate: Insights from Todd Corbin and Jay ConnerDelve into the Lucrative World of Real Estate Investment with Jay Conner and Todd Corbin! In this engaging podcast episode, Todd Corbin and Jay Conner shed light on investment opportunities where trust meets abundance. Todd shares his journey from a background in Christian ministry to becoming a successful private lender, highlighting the importance of integrity and serving others in their investment business.Jay and Todd emphasize the benefits of private money lending for real estate deals and share insights from his Private Money Academy live conference and book. Together, they discuss ways to borrow money...
2024-02-0821 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting004: INA MARIE SMITH - Actor & VO Artist ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerIn this episode Jay and Todd talk with their buoyantly lovely guest, Ina Marie Smith as she talks of her journey to becoming an actor, mother and boss starting from her quiet roots in Missouri to landing in big ol' Londontown. https://www.inamariesmith.com/ CREDITS INCLUDE: Xenoblade Chronicles 3 King's Bounty 2 Aether Gazer Jungle Beat: The Movie Arknights Another Eden: The Cat Beyond Time and Space Hitman 2 Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire 50 Ways to Kill Your Lover Chaos Theory ※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※ AS DISCUSSED IN THE SHOW Mindset by Dr. Carol S Dweck PhD  (Amazon Link) 
2024-02-061h 24Offstage Acting
Offstage Acting003: NIGEL BARBER - Actor ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerTodd Kramer and Jay Reum converse with actor Nigel Barber about his 50 years in the acting craft and profession and have a great time doing it! We discuss discuss the span of his career spanning 5 decades! CREDITS INCLUDE: The Crown 007 - Spectre Roboshark Captain Laserhwak: A Blook Dragon Remix Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation You, Me and the Apocalypse 50 Ways to Kill Your Lover Partisan Firequake Hatfields & McCoys Baywatch ※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※ https://nigelbarber.com https://youtube.com/@MrTona94 ※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※ 00:00 - Prologue 02:58 - Todd talks upgraded tech 07:03 - The entrance of Nigel Barber 10:44...
2024-01-301h 31Offstage Acting
Offstage ActingđŸŽ™ïž002 | Bonusode: DIY Studios, Bleeps, & Jay's Last NameIn this early Bonusode of Offstage Acting, host Todd Kramer and his sidekick Jay Reum go full behind-the-scenes — literally. Jay's moving flats in London, setting up a new home studio, and Todd's... questioning his last name pronunciation. đŸ“ŠđŸŽ€ They dive into how actors can build solid home recording setups without breaking the bank — with tips on acoustic treatment, mic upgrades, interface options, and finding peace in the chaos. There's laughter, a bit of tech talk, and a whole lot of real actor energy. This is what happens when two performers hit record with no script, no guest, and no clear ending — b...
2024-01-2354 minOffstage Acting
Offstage Acting001: THE PILOT ‱ Offstage Acting Podcast with Todd KramerTodd Kramer and Jay Reum kick off their first, pilot episode of the Offstage Acting Podcast with technical problems, uncertainty and churlish giggling. However, they quickly manage to pull out of the nose dive and fly through almost one full, fun-filled hour of acting insights about acting, for actors, and for anyone who wants to "get acting!" ※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※ AS DISCUSSED IN THE SHOW Watch Jay in... GRINDER ! (Amazon link) ※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※=※ đŸ™‡â€â™‚ïžActors are nothing without an audience. So, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! đŸ‘âœïžPlease, rAtE and ReVieW! 💕 We'd love to hear from you! Have a qustion for Offstage Acting? Or...
2024-01-1656 minThe First Customer
The First CustomerThe First Customer -Todd Fisher's Business Chronicles From Military Service to Market MasteryIn this episode, I was lucky enough to interview Todd Fisher, Chairman and Founder of Intraprise SolutionsTodd shares his entrepreneurial journey from a small town in New York to building a successful business with a focus on health information technology and financial services. From starting as a web-enabled business solution in 1997 to his ventures like Mobile MD and Enterprise Health, Todd discusses the evolution of the company's client acquisition strategies over the years. He emphasizes the importance of understanding niche domains and combining technological expertise with specific industry knowledge. Todd encourages thinking big, leveraging...
2023-12-0820 minRaising Private Money with Jay Conner
Raising Private Money with Jay ConnerReal Estate Investing Is Not Balloons & Confetti With Jay Conner & Todd PigottIn this episode, we are joined by Todd Pigott as we talk about the reality of real estate investing. Todd is a principal and president of ZINC Financial and has generated millions and private money loans. Previously, he was the president of one of the largest interior and exterior maintenance companies in the central valley employing over 400 individuals. Today he presides over ZINC’s four separate entities, all involved in the private equity space. ZINC is a licensed lender with personal funds invested in properties that investors consider. Todd now devotes all of his time and energy to his pa...
2023-07-2427 minMaking Magic With Shaun Jay
Making Magic With Shaun JayHow To Tap Into A Creative Mindset w/ Todd Henry"How To Tap Into A Creative Mindset" with Todd Henry #podcast #creativity #motivational Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shaun-jay/support SPONSORS: Interested in sponsoring the next episode? Email us at makingmagicpodcast@gmail.com and let's make it happen Learn More About Todd Henry: https://www.toddhenry.com https://accidentalcreative.com LISTEN TO THE SHOW ON YOUR FAVORITE PODCAST APP Apple Podcasts: http://bit.ly/makingmagiconapple Spotify: http://bit...
2023-02-0335 minSuccess Diaries
Success DiariesTodd Snively’s Timeline of Success: From Being a Pilot to Becoming an Amazon Millionaire“Every person has no less than six ideas every year that if properly implemented, would make them a millionaire, and I have six ideas like that.”-  Todd Snively In today's episode of Succes Diaries, we are joined by Todd Snively. He is an Amazon Millionaire, Online Entrepreneur, Business Consultant, and Commercial Pilot. He talks about his journey and shares some helpful advice on how to become a successful entrepreneur. Tune in now and learn how to become successful today! Highlights: (00:45) How Todd started his journey (01:29) On having legal servi...
2022-07-2659 minTenet
TenetEp. 104 Greg Geiger & Jay Pond – Gallery Six13, American Outsider Artist – Rodney BodeThis week, Wes and Todd talk with Greg Geiger and Jay Pond, Artists and Owners of Gallery Six13 in Rapid City, South Dakota. Greg and Jay discuss the catalyst for opening Gallery Six13, their model for the gallery, what they’ve learned as Artists opening a gallery, outsider art, how they became involved with the Rodney Bode story, how they became guardians and representatives of Rodney Bode’s work, and their current exhibit of Bode’s work. Join us for a compelling conversation with Greg and Jay about American Outsider Artist, Rodney Bode.Check out Rod...
2021-11-112h 04The Story Box
The Story BoxTodd White Unboxing | The Power of Your Testimony In Leaving A Lasting LegacyLife Is Short-Leave a Legacy. The Todd White Story is his new book which came out at the beginning of this year which means you can go and grab a copy now. Todd White was a drug addict and atheist for 22 years until 2004 when he was radically set free! Todd believes that redemption and righteousness are the foundational keys for living life as a new creation in Christ. Todd’s foremost desire is to see the Holy Spirit flowing through believers everywhere that they go–at work, school, grocery stores, malls, gas stations, and more. Todd’s true...
2021-09-1455 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 64 Part 2: Artisanal Quarantine CaramelEpisode 64 Part 2: Artesianal Quarantine Caramel The Dads continue to discuss their quarantine survival tactics, from moving woodpiles to Todd’s craft caramel and mask making. 80’s corporal punishment comes up - remember the paddle? Dave goes to the dump - perhaps to dig up some ET cartridges. Delicious Southern Restoration rat wrap recipes are shared, and tv gets so great that good isn’t worth watching anymore! Tune in now to the podcast where everyone generally knows some portion of your name! We want to hear from you!!! Send us an e-mail at paternitypodcast@gmail.com. And follow us on Facebo...
2020-06-1652 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 64 (Part 1): People or No PeopleEpisode 64 Part 1: People or No People All it took for us to bring back the podcast was having absolutely nothing else to do! Todd, Matt, AND Dave, AND special guest Joel all are all here, (You get Curly and Shemp!) and they’re trying to keep their broods occupied in the long quality time purgatory that is social distancing. Matt and Viva have a new game fit for the apocalypse, Joel antagonizes the other dads with good weather reports and bad death tolls, Dave tries not screw up in front of his wife when he’s ALWAYS in front of his...
2020-05-271h 05Tenet
TenetEp. 003 Jerry & Jay Jaramillo - Artists, Father & Son, Murals, Painting, & SculptureHosts, Wes Brown and Todd Pierson, sit down with father and son artists, Jerry and Jay Jaramillo. Jerry talks about how he got his start as an artist and Jay talks about how his father mentored him to become an artist. The Jaramillos work separately and together as a team to produce art. They paint and create murals together and have worked together restoring a number of historical murals.Jerry and Jay talk about the importance of art in the community and the value it brings to those that live there.You...
2019-11-281h 24The Inner Changemaker Show
The Inner Changemaker Show239 | Todd Herman | Becoming A Superhero And Creating Alter EgosToday on the show, Jay sat down with Todd Herman, performance advisor, entrepreneur, and author of the book The Alter Ego Effect. If you are not familiar with Todd, he is a coach to Olympians, successful CEO, and executives at some of the largest companies around the world. The show kickstart with Jay telling Todd that his previous guesting is one of the most downloadable episodes. Todd said that the reason for this is people can assume that all of us have used alter ego. Since this show is for changemakers like Todd...
2019-03-2851 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 63: Mover ScottThe Dads are back? The Dads are back! And they brought along a special friend - Scott Durbin from Imagination Movers! Todd and Matt talk about where they've been (Todd moving, Matt getting angry about airpods). They're older (Todd needs to hold onto furniture to stand up, and Matt looks like a tired Dr. Strange) but they're here. Todd has a teenage girl at home who is a sulking rage machine, and Matt has little kid who is very concerned about the health and welfare of former Beatles. And Mover Scott shares details on the making of "10-4", the Movers...
2019-03-182h 03The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 62: Hack My ThermostatEpisode 62: Hack My Thermostat They Dads are back, farmer-tanned and ready for action. Todd is getting good at small talk in his old age, but is it a sign of cognitive decline? And Todd can’t convince his soulless wife to cry along with him to sappy Dad songs. Meanwhile, Matt debates bringing his daughter to a concert she’s gonna hate. The Dads ponder how much they want to tie their homes to “The Internet of Things” – especially their fancy Japanese toilets. And Matt emcees some cooking demonstrations that get upstaged by a dinosaur and his hammy kid. E-mail us your th...
2017-07-261h 15The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 61: An Excessive Amount of MagicWhy do Todd and Matt smell like lamb chops and adrenaline? A trip to a Brazilian steakhouse – full of traps to destroy your sausage party, like biscuits and cheese. GET THEE BEHIND ME, BISCUITS! In a post-Easter, breakdown, Todd and Matt are skeptical of the recent poll of “top jelly bean flavors by state”. Are frying pans supposed to suck? And in “Holidont’s”, Todd has a rudderless Easter, and Matt overdoes it so hard the cops come. And so do ants. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS! And find us on F...
2017-04-191h 14The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 60: Nature's Bounty“Pony Up Daddy” is the new Dad saddle that allows your child to humiliate you in comfort. Did we need this invention? In “Health Beat”, Todd halves his Jube Gel intake and goes into weight loss freefall. But where to stop? Speaking of which, Todd bought some dubiously named workout drinks that he probably doesn’t need, but it does taste like watermelon Slurpee. And in “Scarred for Life”, Matt brings Viva to perform at Windy City LIVE! and has to balance between ruining showbiz for her forever and ruining her for real life forever. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodca...
2017-03-2952 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 59: Bacon FireThe Dads clue into the next big teen sensation – sucking on Nintendo games! Watch out, jenkem and butt-chugging! In “How the Better Half Live”, Matt tried to figure out his wife's rubric for watching TV: How can Westworld not be good enough if Teen Wolf is??? Oh, and Matt goes full Todd and buys a decibel meter so he can see if he's justified in being grumpy at his HVAC system. That's some real dadcore stuff! And in “So, Now You're Old”, Todd can no longer put his children to bed nor enjoy TV by himself – because they can stay away longer...
2017-03-091h 02The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 58: A Hot Cup of Give UpThe Dads great up for Paczki Day 2017 (this was recorded last week) – but will Todd put his weight loss over his heritage?! I mean, he already drinks tea instead of having dessert. “Planes to Catch and Bills to Pay” is a big one today – as Todd goes to his LAST Daddy Daughter Dance. (sniff) And... it has a theme? On Amazon, Todd buys his OWN video game controller his kid can't touch. Smart move or monstrously selfish parenting? And in Health Beat – Matt tries self-tanner... what could possibly go wrong? E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Patern...
2017-03-021h 01The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 57: #ShelterInPlaceTodd and Matt reminisce about failed extreme football leagues past. Is there still a lingerie bowl? Matt's got an addendum to “Talking to Your Kids About Heaven”, as Viva worries about the soul of her stuffed puppy. Does Cool Pope Francis have a loophole? Then we turn to “Scary Clowns and Filthy Elmos” as the Dads learn with horror that Viva has a secret imaginary friend that's a whole circle of hell down from her ghost friends Caleb! (CAAALEBB!!!) Are you doing your Amazon shopping through our support page at paternitypodcast.com? Matt is, as he integrates his favorite action figures...
2017-02-0853 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 56: The Wrong Side of 40Criss-Cross Applesauce? Sitting like a W? A Paternity Test investigation into how kids sit today. In “Talking to Your Kids About Heaven” - Viva's heaven is a lot like a production of “Starlight Express”, and Matt and Professor Foster go to war with the gods. Matt buys some “Inside Out” toys, but Viva's feelings are too big to watch movies. And in “So, Now You're Old” - Todd goes right over the hill and lands at a beef stand. Did he waste all his ionic supreme? E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD...
2017-01-2647 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 55: Dirty FloridaHappy New Year! Welcome to the start of another year of fake radio from Todd and Matt, the best friends you never met! New Year, New You for babies, who should now be eating... peanuts?! And Todd is dosing his dog with a peanut dust that would never make it through TSA. Speaking of Todd, he's back from a family vacation... is he the one who made the sign say, “Hollyweed”? Matt bought a very heavy vest – will it make him swole or just crippled? Say, how do you teach a kid to blow their nose? And who mops up afterw...
2017-01-1259 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 54: The Magic of ScrimshawThe Dads talk about last minute shopping, where Todd grabs whatever fits his price point, and Matt grabs appetizer platters. In Health Beat, Ellie starts getting sick just before the holiday trip, and the Jays start mainline uncut Colombian Caveman multivitamin. First you get the Barneys, then you get the vitamins, then you get fight the scurvy. Plus, a feverish Ellie gets in trouble, as does a pillow tossing Viva, and the Dads let guilt be their guide. We hope you're using the Amazon portal! We know we are – even though it shows our family banner ads of what we go...
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The Paternity TestEpisode 53: Wearable YogurtThought the "wet red bread" Facebook recipe videos were gross? The Dads just found the cocktail version, "Tipsy Bartender". Anyone for a Pokeymans Mudslide? Matt tries to watch some holiday TV but find "the Santa Paws" impossibly maudlin. At least he learned empathy for Christmas Frankensteins. Play-Doh – perfect snowman ingredient or winter nightmare fuel? Please don't forget to do your holiday shopping through our Amazon portal at paternitypodcast.com! Lazy gift givers, it is time to panic – Yankee Candle Recall! Michael from New York calls in and goes green with an advanced bird flipping technique. 
 And in the moment we all kne...
2016-12-151h 06The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 51: Yes, Virginia, There is a Lobster ClawsIn this festive episode, Todd decorates for Christmas, Halloween, and Thanksgiving at the same time – enjoy a cornucopia full of spooky peppermints! Meanwhile, Matt convinces some international students to put up his decorations to.. broaden their cultural horizons? Todd's wife leaves town for a week, and the wheels come off his domestic life. Is there an app for this? Speaking of Todd, he's considering becoming the Grabowski Gizmoduck on a mini-Segway. If not that, then he at least wants a Vespa to embarrass himself on. And reality weighs heavily on Matt's house, as Viva starts to wonder what is real an...
2016-11-3046 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 50: Too Many BitsIt's out episode 50 Underwhelm-tacular! We can't get the NES classic and we'd be happy to sit in a parking lot all night watching the Godfather trilogy and waiting for it. Todd uncovers the cruel world of teenage Instagram curation and it is a harsh reality. Hey, how many hipster and geek dad t-shirts are too many hipster and geek dad t-shirts? Is there a Mad-Libs podcast? There is now. And we talk about Matt's butt. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS!
2016-11-221h 12The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 49: Liquified PumpkinWe're guessing you could use a laugh right now
 Todd and Matt talk to you from the "before" side of the election with tales from Halloween – how do Todd's aging kids manage their transition into obnoxious trick or treating teens? And just how many Halloweens does Principessa Viva get to have?! Finally – Southsiders Todd and Matt break their silence over their shame and grief regarding the Cubs win. So. Much. Grief. Are you using our Amazon portal? This show is supported by viewers like you! (Thank you.) Matt is trying to buy new Barbies to replace the jank ones viva has –...
2016-11-101h 29The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 48: Your Feelings Are Valid, Charlie BrownThe Dads, along with Viva, parse the abusive language of “It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”, and examine the less popular entries into the series, like “Life Aboard the Mayflower Was Hell, Charlie Brown”, and “The Carter Era Was a National Malaise, Charlie Brown”. In “Scary Clowns”, the Dads announce the death of evangelical cartoonist Jack T. Chick, and do a dramatic re-enactment of the legendary “Dark Dungeons”. Plus, Alex's school issues a warning against would-be prairie clowns. In “School Days with a Z”, the Dads discuss the history of disaster drills at schools, and Todd wonders if he should Tiger down on his son, w...
2016-11-021h 03The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 47: Meat JengaIf the meat tower topples, everyone loses. I hope you all realize that we were tracking Scary Clowns long before they were the new Shark Attacks. We have always been here for you, in our Clown Proof Bunker, waiting with open arms. Todd has lost 20 pounds on the “Overpriced Herb Capsule and Starvation” diet! Halloween means buying costume – buy yours on the Amazon portal and keep this show going! Matt continues his adventures on campus by placing his mouth under the soft serve spigot for three weeks. This can't end well. E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call t...
2016-10-2052 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 46: Scary Clown Heat MapIf the clowns haven't carved out your innards with a balloon sword yet, it's time for a new episode! Matt has moved onto a college campus and is deeply ashamed to have left the city. What's a metrosexual without the metro? Just a “sexual”? Todd watches the debates with his kids and becomes so deeply depressed he decides to start a third political party. Perhaps you'd like to join? E-mail us your thoughts at paternitypodcast@gmail.com or call the Paternity Test hot line at 657-BAD-DADS! Thanks for listening!
2016-10-1146 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 45: My Mind's NoseThe Paternity Podcast is the only podcast about brunch-flavored candy corn you'll ever need. It's an old bit but a good bit - Todd's up to Tooth Fairy business again – and stuff just got real with Ellie's investigations. Are Chicken Fries fries? Are Cheetohs toes? Are Cheetoh Chicken Fries gross? A TPT investigation – plus: brunch flavored candy corn? What fresh hell is this? Professor Foster is buying potpourri, and the supersmellers in the house are none too happy. And – Apple watches, do they make you even jerkier than phones? Like our page on Facebook, follow us @thedadtest on Twitter, and check...
2016-09-211h 19The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 44: Fat Level RedIs Yelp going to date itself by listing Pokestops and places which accept corrupt fake electronic currency? Todd’s cloister bell has gone off signaling he has surpassed his maximum acceptable level of obesity. Kelly has suggested he start taking her wildly expensive shakes full of pretend medicine. Clowns are luring children into the woods in the south. Well, clowns or persons dressed as clowns. One of the two. And Matt and Professor Foster have met their superior doppelgangers at Viva's new non-hippie, mostly-nerd fancy preschool, which crushes their massive and fragile egos. Like our Facebook, follow us on Twitter @th...
2016-09-0856 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 43: Hot VealsIt's our first show officially a man down. We're sad about it – but we're funny clowns who only weep on the inside – so we think we've put together a funny episode for you! The Olympics are over, but not before the world got to enjoy a world-class walking-fast-while-wiggling-your-butt competitor soil himself on television. Watch our for that hurled sponge! Consumer alert: Whilst shopping for an iPad case, Matt discovers that scanning Happy Meal toys is a giant scam. Todd realizes that, with his kids growing older, this academic year will be naught but a gauntlet of sad goodbyes and ugly crie...
2016-08-2450 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 42: The Amish TouchscreenWelcome back! It’s been a while, but here we are, in all our middle-aged glory. Pokemon Go is sweeping the world. Except for Syracuse. And the Western Suburbs. And
 Matt may have murdered a bird by climbing a tree. At 41. In climbing gear. He used climbing gear to climb a tree. Then all of the women at the house wept at the possibility of the bird’s demise, right before ingesting bird. Dave’s kitchen is in its second year of renovation. Enough said. Todd’s wife is spending a small fortune on a new diet and exercise regimen. Can his fa...
2016-08-091h 02The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 40: Blister CreamWelcome back! Dave's asleep again. Somehow, Matt and Todd pick up the pieces and move forward. Todd swears by Menthol Gold Bond on his inner thighs. He just can't seem to find the best angle by which to powder his groin. America's love affair with Hamilton has probably reached its half-life, but that didn't stop the Brookfield Zoo from naming a camel after the musical. Matt found a bunny hutch (nest?) in the garden of his daughter's pre-school. It was adorable, until God filled their home with water and drowned the bunnies. After sixteen years of use, Matt decided to...
2016-06-2459 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 39: Live at Brooklyn BouldersMatt and Todd record live at Brooklyn Boulders Chicago while their daughters preview Brooklyn Boulders Summer Camps and the Dads contemplate what they'll break first. Will it be their harness, the wall or their legs? They also explore other types of summer camp offerings, including one that will teach your children how to kill you in your sleep! Finally the dads get on the walls and recap their experience for you and try and figure out how their going to drive home now that they can't move their fingers. Join us, won't you? ​ We want to hear from you!!! Call us...
2016-06-0251 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 38: Mistress Todd's Basement of PainWelcome back! ​ Matt's got a man crush on broasted chicken. He finds a new broasted place by Todd's house, which happens to be the home of...a burger? Matt goes to an auction for his kid's Pre-K. Cue drunk bidding and keys in the fishbowl. Dave defends the existence of margaritas. Todd's vertebrae is decomposing in real time, which has led him to purchase countless traction devices that he demonstrates for Matt. Dave wants Car Talk to stop. Now. He can't stand the idea of listening to a dead host tell jokes. People keep hitting Dave's new car and it's sl...
2016-05-251h 07The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 37: Mars Cheese CastleWelcome back! It's been a while. Matt hates New York-style pizza, but all the dads admit that the Brooklyn pizza box made out of pizza isn't the worst idea ever. Matt took his daughter to the Rainforest Cafe and Mars Cheese Castle in the same day. Tons of kitsch, tons of crayons, and, because of their seating, not nearly enough robot dinosaurs. Dave tells a tale of the saddest Friendly's ever. Amazon keeps recommending that Todd buys Kuba Kickz, which are basically brass knuckles that attach to your shoes. Between this and the Strike Spike, Todd's commute through suburbia will...
2016-05-161h 11The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 36: Victoria Secret's RaptureSuzy Qs are back, and they're even bigger garbage than the ones from your childhood. Dave saw Magic Leap augmented reality, and realized that it and nothing else is the future. Then he threw his Oculus Rift in the toilet, because really, what's the point? Todd bought his wife perfume, like a seventeen-year-old looking for a prom date. Matt's looking at several schools for his daughter, Viva. One's locked down like a prison because it's in Chicago. One is Catholic, so the steeple bursts into flames every time Matt walks in. The third is for billionaires, and made Matt sad...
2016-05-021h 08The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 35: Come Play With Us, DannyWelcome back! Long time, no talk. It's been so long, Todd forgot Dave was on the show. Todd just got back from Italy, where he had a delightful lunch in Sienna where people abuse horses. And out of 70 kids who went with him, he only had to leave one behind! Aside from the lighter trip back to the states, Todd also discusses the "pay as you go" bathrooms. Dave talks of a fake Darth Maul Netflix trailer that looked amazing, and then discusses the mean practical jokes he used to play on his parents. The new Star Wars (Rogue One...
2016-04-241h 05The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 34: Emotionally Violent SushiWelcome back! Wow. Hulk Hogan got a massive settlement from Gawker. Too bad Death has no other 80s wrestlers to visit. He better spend it soon. Dave doesn't yell at strangers anymore. This leads to a great story about Matt and a steak knife. Speaking of Matt and eating utensils. Matt can't handle how good Quaker Instant Oatmeal is. He has sworn off goose liver and caged lamb. Todd used to play on roofs as a child. Now he only goes up there to install missing shingles. This leads to Todd's hardware store grading system, based on their artisanal grape...
2016-04-0352 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 33: Reagan Wasn't ShotWelcome back! Kids today don't know the difference between the 80s and 90s. To them, Michael J. Fox and David Spade are the same person. Lionel Richie should relax. You can't copyright the word used to answer a phone. Todd's family communes with Fuller House. Matt had to turn it off. Dave canceled his Netflix subscription so he didn't have to see the ads. Elvis is really, really dead. So dead that no one knows he existed. Matt's daughter wants to see his manhood. Matt said "no", but this raised larger questions of how to deal with anatomy lessons for...
2016-03-191h 13The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 32: Thunder ConeWelcome back! Dave's ex-girlfriend taught him early that divorce is never the answer. Better to live in misery. Matt can't handle boys. Also, his daughter wanders onto a merry-go-round of the future, where every child on it can be crushed at once. Todd's going to Italy. Will the food there be safe? We want to hear from you!!! Call us at (657) BAD DADS or send us an e-mail atpaternitypodcast@gmail.com. And follow us on Facebook,on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram at thepaternitytest. Please Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review. And tell a friend while you're...
2016-03-111h 04The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 31: Baseball Knife ShoesWelcome back! Literary figures are dropping like flies. Where are the new literary heroes? It's youth baseball season, which means that it's time for Todd to buy shoe knives for his son. Hide your shins. Todd discusses his latest daddy-daughter dance. Chaos reigns as a teenage dunce DJ does everything he can to ruin the evening. Todd saves humanity by fixing the photo line. Matt's daughter refuses to listen to him. Ever.  Dave's daughter refuses to wear underwear. Ever. We want to hear from you!!! Call us at (657) BAD DADS or send us an e-mail atpaternitypodcast@gmail.com. And follow us o...
2016-03-071h 15The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 30: The One Where George Gaynes DiesWelcome back! George Gaynes died! Who will save us from our refrigerators? Dave's house is cold. Matt must destroy a handsome, younger dad at his school. Todd goes to a daddy-daughter dance with his...daughter. Join us, won't you? We want to hear from you!!! Call us at (657) BAD DADS or send us an e-mail atpaternitypodcast@gmail.com. And follow us on Facebook,on Twitter at @thedadtest, and on Instagram at thepaternitytest. Please Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review. And tell a friend while you're at it!
2016-02-2644 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 29: Butterfly KissesWelcome back! Todd decided to save money and skipped getting a Valentine's Day card for his wife. Now he can afford go the movies. By himself. Maybe he'll go see Deadpool with Matt, since that's where he spent Love Day with his wife. Dave went to his first Daddy-Daughter dance with his two four-year-old daughters. It went exactly how you would expect an evening centered around forced sentimentality to go. Todd broke his daughter's arm. And by that, we mean that Todd's family allowed his daughter to roller skate, wherein she broke her arm. Matt took his daughter to Disney...
2016-02-181h 16The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 28: The ApachesWelcome back! The dads discuss the Zika virus, and what it means for filthy, filthy Rio. Also, the Olympics are ridiculous. Dave and his wife have known each other for ten long, long years.  He has a hard time fathoming how he has gone from bartender/actor to respected educator and mini van owner. Todd wears a bib now to shave his face. This allows him to collect the hair and throw it practically anywhere he wants. Todd then realizes that he didn't actually  have fun cutting his grandfather's toenails. Matt and Professor Foster are taking their daughter to Disney Wo...
2016-02-121h 00The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 27: Son of BeastmasterWelcome back! Dave and Todd love COPS. What's not to like? Matt needs help fixing his house. He spends most of his update asking Todd and Dave how to feel like a man in his own home. They're interrupted by Matt's daughter, Viva, who is having a heart attack because Matt hasn't bought her enough iPad apps. The Dads listen to the new H. John Benjamin album. It's awful and wonderful. Todd bought Google Cardboard, which is way cooler than it sounds (Especially if you don't know what Google Cardboard is). His wife is out of town, so Todd has...
2016-02-0459 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 26: NipplebackWelcome back! Sesame Street is moving to HBO. Finally they'll be able to explore the adult themes that PBS was so vehemently against.  The dads then discuss how, no matter the channel, Sesame Street's segments are unwatchable. Dave's kids won't wipe themselves. Todd does some research to find that child deaths by toilet have been greatly exaggerated. Dave bought an electric toothbrush on Amazon, and has no gums left. Matt wants to expose his child to disturbing images in order to toughen her up like Gen-X'er. Todd gets a huge mole cut off of his back. Now there's a red s...
2016-01-291h 01The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 25: The Sperm SwitchWelcome back to our humble show. The dads stumble upon a baby-making light switch that's supposed to be surgically inserted into your body. It's hilarious at parties.  Matt's daughter is being taught to share her feelings by tattling on her peers. So now, Matt is being humiliated at parties as his daughter narks out other kids for hurting her feelings.  Todd bought a new bat for his son. It's made from space-age technology, just like the bat he got last year, and the year before that. Bat technology is changing so fast, there's no way to use a bat more th...
2016-01-2056 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 24: Google GarbageWelcome back. Oculus Rift is on its way, and if we put our money on anything, it's that life will become a compilation of headaches from constantly standing one inch from the television. Too bad for Oculus Rift that Google found a way to do it for free... It's winter in Chicago, and that means long commutes through barren gray wastelands. Todd heads to a hotel spa with strawberry water and Matt plans a trip to Florida for February. This is great, but it still leaves five months of winter misery. Matt is planning on taking his daughter to a...
2016-01-1353 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 23: The Dollhouse(s)Welcome back!  Dave has never, in forty years, found a good time to sit down and watch It's a Wonderful Life. Who has two hours to kill on Christmas afternoon, really? Matt and Professor Foster decided that their daughter wanted a doll house for Christmas, and so they bought five of them.  Dave got his family out of Baltimore alive, but not before a six hour trip home, in which Josephine asked 9,359 questions and Cecilia barfed into a blanket.  Todd denied his daughter a kitten for Christmas, and has been waiting for four years to break the news to her that...
2016-01-0758 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 22: Christmas KittenMatt brings back action figures from the 80s that no one wanted. Micronauts. ROM Space Night. No idea? Then you get the idea. Dave's turning forty, which means he'll finally have to start spelling forty without a "u".  He doesn't know how he's supposed to feel, but how he feels is miserable. Matt looks like Jesus. Meanwhile, he interviews Dylan Lauren about her new candy shop in Chicago, and Viva got so much swag she developed Type-2 diabetes instantly. Also, Viva can't get enough of toilet talk, and it's driving Matt insane. Todd's daughter wants a cat, and she won't s...
2015-12-2352 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 21: Bijou SauceWelcome back! Holy crap this is a good episode. Matt can't handle the White Castle Turkey Dinner Slider. Mainly because White Castle's are a time portal to planet filth. Butterball meat smothered in Bijou Sauce...what could make your mouth water more..for a glass of water. Todd can't figure out how to use Facebook in a way that isn't inherently Facebooky. He just wants to post a picture of his kid winning an award, but no matter how he posts it, he looks like a braggart jerk. Thanks Obama. Matt buys some lucky kid a Star Wars pancake mold...
2015-12-171h 20The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 20: Love Ya, DadThis week, Todd and the dads remember Todd's father, Bob.
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The Paternity TestEpisode 19: Liam Neeson MacaroniWelcome to Episode 19, and not a moment too soon. The dads discuss collectible mac and cheese boxes, and the idea that now there are dead Star Wars characters on the box. Dave regales the dads with a cautionary tale on not getting your '99 Honda tuned up. Matt figures out how the mom from Signs could have lived a long, happy life. Dave doesn't know why cops drive SUVs. The dads find the missing link between cavemen and the Commodores. It's a sculpture made by a blind girl in an 80s music video. Todd can't use gel deodorant. He hates...
2015-11-3043 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 18: Deep Fried DreamsWelcome back! Taco Bell now offers you their croissant taco. Good Lord. Daylight Savings Time is horrible, and Matt wastes that precious hour every year. He did catch an infomercial in the middle of the night for Butterball's indoor turkey frier. It's like fireworks, but for inside your house. Todd buys a ladder. For his house. A house he's owned for a decade. His first ladder.  Matt rearranges the federal holidays so that Americans get some breathing room between Thanksgiving and New Years. Finally, Todd redeems himself as a father by leading his family out of an intermediate corn maze. T...
2015-11-1958 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 17: Morph Suit MadnessWelcome to Episode 17! Todd's garage is haunted by a toy that no one has played with for a decade. And it's angry. Todd's son is wearing a morph suit for Halloween this year with an orange wig. He's too young to date anyone or drive. He's too old to be cute and eat candy. So he decided to embody the awkwardness of junior high by covering his entire body in Spandex. Matt goes to too many parties for four-year-olds. He's purchased a stack of the same gift and created a rubric to meet the challenge. Dave regales the fathers with...
2015-11-0455 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 16: Styrofoam LungThank God we can finally stop talking about Back to the Future II!! Matt found something to occupy Viva while he assembled furniture and she manages to destroy the house and her health at the same time. Dave is all In when it comes to the new Star Wars movie. It's time to strap on your blaster and buy your tickets!! Todd's son has turned thirteen and Todd doesn't think he gets in enough trouble. Careful what you wish for, old man! Matt and Viva enter a chili cook off and Matt loads it up with fatty meat, insanity peppers...
2015-10-301h 02The Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 15: Two-Headed GhostStop crying, did you really think a crummy 80's sequel could predict a baseball outcome? Speaking of the 80's, look, disturbing PSAs are back: Check it out! Good news, teens... armpit wipes are here! Todd hates all holidays, but Halloween has scarred him the worst, probably because of his youthful attempts at thrifty creativity. Matt want those pesky kids to get off his lawn with their 3D movies and their somber space opera and bad wigs. And in a cross-cultural feat of public humiliation and preschool Italian, Dave's daughters destroy social etiquette and a bystander's humanity. The sit-down afterwards must...
2015-10-2248 minGrit ‘n’ Hustle | Real & Raw Stories of How Achievers ACTUALLY Made It
Grit ‘n’ Hustle | Real & Raw Stories of How Achievers ACTUALLY Made ItEpisode 11 – Jay SamitWhy Bill Clinton Called One of The Most Influential Tech Disruptors, Jay Samit, For Help & How You Can Shift Industries Too   Today, you’re going to hear from a technology super God, disrupter of industries, true innovator, and author, Jay Samit. Jay is the CEO of the world’s leading multi-screen video services company, SeaChange International. He is widely recognized as one of the world’s leading experts on disruption and innovation. He has raised 100s of millions of dollars for startups, sold companies to Fortune 55 firms, and transformed entire industries. There is a reason why he wrote the book called...
2015-10-2047 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 14: Corn Maze Death MarchWelcome back to the show! All day breakfast at McDonald's means never having to say you're sorry. Dave watched Boogie Nights again, and it really holds up. Matt hates apple festivals and pumpkin spice. He also hates people who complain about pumpkin spice. Which sort of means he hates himself. He also wants to pick apples at a grocery store so that it's cheaper. Todd blows his dad off to go to a haunted house. Not recently. Decades ago, the day his grandfather died. Hungry Hungry Hippos is a cheap, crappy version of its 1980s self. Toddler potties are awesome...
2015-10-1459 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 13: Death by PastaWelcome to lucky Episode 13! This week, the Olive Garden Pasta Pass is back, and ready to take down your entire family. Todd's hearing is headed downhill a tad prematurely, and his doctor insists that he get a hearing aid before dementia sets in. Dave still has tinnitus, but only until he dies. Shopkins are worthless, but not as worthless as you'll feel if you don't buy them for your children. Dave's kids are very comfortable with the idea of death. A Shark Tale doesn't help the situation. Matt and Dave make fun of Todd's pronunciation of "eggs".  Then the dads l...
2015-10-0856 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 12: The Saliva Sundae TroughWelcome back! Matt starts us off by explaining the benefits of "hot desking".  This leads to "hot neglecting" your kids, which sounds worse than it actually would be. Matt then paints a terrifying picture of children and ice cream and troughs. Disgusting. Dave wants alone time with his wife so that they can talk about how much better they are than everyone else. Shark attacks are down and death by selfie is up, so Todd watches terrifying PSAs  about texting and driving, sending his daughter into her own personal Viet Nam flashback. The Happy Birthday Song now belongs to the pe...
2015-09-3047 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 11: Mouthful of Poo WaterWelcome back to the show! This week, Todd offers up the idea of the bedtime pass for the other dads' kids. It's backed up by hard core stats, so there's no way Matt and Dave can refute its effectiveness.  Todd has a sinus infection, which is gross, and he should be ashamed of himself. Speaking of shame, his son just dropped an iPhone in the toilet, and all three dads have different ideas on the type of punishment that must commence. Matt takes us back into the Paternity Test Kitchen, and offers up a Frankenberry Crunch Shortcake, which incidentally is th...
2015-09-2358 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 10: They Just Can't Handle the CorndogWelcome back to the show! Dave is resting his voice, and he'll be back next week. In the meantime, Matt and Todd discuss the announcement that The Weather Channel is going to finally go back to focusing on weather rather than vague, insulting half-references to unimportant events. Matt regales Todd with a story of how he almost became a big reality TV star. Matt reads Viva a book where animals punch each other, which may have backfired. Matt's daughter then sings about hitting other people. The problem is, she's doing it when she's alone in her room and doesn't think...
2015-09-1652 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 9: Wet White ScabWelcome back to the podcast that would gladly go to jail for the right to love its listeners. Hell opens up and tries to cover the earth in snakes and meat druids. The Dads are there. David is back, neutered and muted. Seriously, he can barely talk and might die. You'll get, like, 15% Dave on this episode. Todd gets into the Drone Wars, and will soon be stopping wildfire fighters from responding to calamity. Speaking of Todd, his daughter wants to punch his face. Ah, filial love. Callers tell horror stories of botched vasectomies! (At this point it seems like...
2015-09-0959 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 8: Sweaty Jungle CheeseWelcome back to that same old place you used to laugh about. David got his vocal chords sand blasted and he's still off – but we take a moment to play tape of him wheezing and make fun of his misfortune. Then we talk about our favorite discontinued pastries. Todd's obsession with credit card points has led him, sooner than we thought, into unessecary capital expenditures. Moustrap sucks. The world is coming to pieces, with poisonous snakes in Todd's neighborhood and druids dropping meat on children in the Carolinas. We get great listener mail and voice mail – and keep that stuff comi...
2015-09-0253 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 7: Milk BrothersWelcome to our seventh episode! We begin with Star Wars, and everyone's jealous that Todd's son is old enough to see Episode VII. Todd has a problem with breastfeeding; or, to be more specific, Todd has a problem with women who breastfeed other people's children. He then references The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, a movie that only Todd saw. Next, Todd buys an apple core peeler. It's an appliance that looks like you'd buy it at Cracker Barrel. Dave has mouse problems, but if you listen to the show, you'll hear about the best mouse trap ever. Finally, Matt...
2015-08-2649 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 6: Surgery All Over the PlaceWelcome back to what the Internet was invented for. An Iowa Rep thinks gay marriage is like marrying lawn mowers – the Dads thinks he is protesting just a LITTLE TOO MUCH about marrying lawn mowers. Then the Dads discuss the mysterious new fangled appeal of really, really depressing horror films that are more Requiem for a Dream than Nightmare on Elm Street. Todd talks Matt into buying “Hi Ho Cherry O”, which immediately turns his daughter into a tyrant and a cheater. Speaking of Todd – no longer content with just bilking Columbia House Record Club out of Blind Melon cds, he is no...
2015-08-1945 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 5: Serial Season 2Welcome back to the king daddy of dad shows. Season two of "Serial" is apparently in the can, but Matt doesn't believe it. He tends to think Sarah Koenig is sweating it out with a waste basket full of crumpled up empty notebook pages. Dave is sweating his daughters' third year on Earth, and hates the big lie: That the "terrible twos" are terrible at all. Dave and Matt also share their stories of the first night at home with their newborns. It didn't go well. Amazon Prime Day stunk. Thanks, Amazon. The dads then discuss the piercings that say, "...
2015-08-1238 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 4: Babies Not in Car SeatsWelcome to Episode 4! The dads discover the new Dr. Seuss book that's gonna make someone other than Dr. Seuss a boat load of cash. Matt takes his daughter to a Chicago Park District Camp (read: Toddler Jail). She pays him back by burying her face in stagnant water fountain chum. Todd's son can't hit a golf ball, but he can break a driver like a pro. Dave's been seeing lots of cars in New York lately with kids out of their car seats. He's terrified, but recognizes that he finds the very same thing charming in Europe. Did you know...
2015-08-0542 minThe Paternity Test
The Paternity TestEpisode 3: Skip the Tooth FairyWelcome back! A Lion prowls the streets of Milwaukee. Quick, someone call a Minnesotan denstist! In “So Now You're Old”, Dave and his brother learn that the big apple is much tamer on the wrong side of 35 – there's far fewer chili dog dust-ups. And speaking of safaris, Dave's wife just bought an elephant head on Amazon. More Scary Clowns and Filthy Elmos, as a creepy clown invades a Chicago cemetary. In “Animal Crack-Ups”, Matt struts on a stray cat. Listeners write in to talk e-mail urban legends and Grape Nuts. And Todd muffs his Tooth Fairy duty yet again! We want to he...
2015-07-3052 min