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Operation: Thriving MarriageEp 88 - Bad Internet Advice Part 2Welcome to episode 88 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast with Bryon and Jennifer Harvey.
In this episode Bryon and Jennifer are doing something a little different from the usual podcast. It is part two of an episode where Bryon and Jennifer review a social media post that was making the rounds and why just because the post use “churchy” or Bible language doesn’t mean that it’s actually biblical advice.
2025-07-2120 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp - 87 Bad Internet Advice Part 1Welcome to episode 87 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast with Bryon and Jennifer Harvey.
In this episode Bryon and Jennifer are doing something a little different from the usual podcast. Bryon and Jennifer review a social media post that was making the rounds and why just because the post use “churchy” or Bible language doesn’t mean that it’s actually biblical advice.
2025-06-3024 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 86 - In-laws: Navigating Boundaries, Expectations, and Blessings
Episode 87 –
In-Laws: Navigating Boundaries, Expectations, and Blessings
In-laws often get a bad rap. From sitcom jokes to horror stories passed around at bridal showers, it’s almost a cliché to talk about how difficult mothers-in-law can be. But are in-laws really the problem—or is it the lack of clear boundaries and expectations that causes the most damage?
In this episode of Operation: Thriving Marriage, Bryon and Jennifer Harvey dive deep into the often-sensitive topic of in-law relationships. They challenge the stereotype that in-laws are always intrusive or toxic and instea...2025-06-0926 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 85 - Building Emotional IntimacyEpisode 85: Building Emotional Intimacy
When people think about intimacy in marriage, the first thing that usually comes to mind is sex. For many couples, the idea of intimacy is wrapped up in romance, physical affection, or sexual connection. But in reality, true intimacy—especially emotional intimacy—goes much deeper than that.
In today’s episode of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we’re tackling one of the most misunderstood aspects of marriage: what intimacy really is, why it’s so important, and how couples can begin building it intentionally.
We believe on...2025-05-2720 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 84 - Main Character EnergyIn Episode 84 of Operation: Thriving Marriage, Bryon and Jen Harvey dive into a trending concept from Gen Z culture: “Main Character Energy.”
Bryon kicks off the conversation by sharing how he came across the term and what it means—seeing yourself as the central figure in every situation. Jen offers insight into how this mindset can subtly affect relationships, especially in the context of marriage.
In marriage, “main character energy” often shows up as self-centered responses to your spouse’s honest communication. For example, one spouse might express a want or need, only for the other spouse...2025-05-1219 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 83 - No Perfect MarriagesIn Episode 84 of Operation: Thriving Marriage, Bryon and Jen Harvey dive into an important truth: there are no perfect marriages. While we often focus on communication and addressing issues, today’s episode explores why unpacking every problem can sometimes do more harm than good in your relationship.
Many couples fall into the trap of thinking they need to discuss and fix every little irritation. But over-unpacking issues can create unnecessary friction, add pressure to be “perfect,” and even bury the good parts of your marriage under a mountain of complaints. Instead of helping, this approach often d...2025-04-2821 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 82 - How to Sabotage Your Marriage With MoneyIn Episode 82 of Operation: Thriving Marriage, Bryon and Jen Harvey tackle a topic that hits close to home for nearly every couple: how mishandling money can sabotage your marriage. Bryon begins the conversation by asking Jen, “You deal with a lot of different family issues as a lawyer. What do you see as the biggest contributor to strife in marriage?” Drawing on both professional and personal experience, Jen explains that while financial stress is a common challenge, it’s really about how couples connect—or fail to connect—through that stress. Money is emotionally charged. It touches everything: our goals, our...2025-04-1427 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 81 - How to Sabotage Communication (Part 2)In this episode of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we’re continuing our conversation on how couples sabotage communication in marriage. Last time, we talked about harboring resentment and bottling up emotions — if you haven’t listened to that episode yet, we encourage you to go back and check it out. Today, we’re diving into three more common ways communication breaks down between spouses: allowing arguments to grow, refusing to apologize, and reacting without thinking.
Arguments are actually a natural part of any healthy marriage. If you and your spouse never argue, something is off — either you’re not...2025-03-3120 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 80 - How to Sabotage CommunicationIn this episode of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we’re diving into two of the biggest ways couples sabotage communication without even realizing it: harboring resentment and bottling up feelings. Communication is essential to solving any problem in marriage, and if you can’t talk openly and honestly, you’ll stay stuck. Resentment builds when expectations are unspoken, unmet, or unreasonable — what we call “Unexpectations.” Whether it’s about chores, money, kids, or in-laws, resentment creates emotional walls and keeps you from having real conversations. The only way to deal with it is to face it head-on in a loving, calm way, and...2025-03-1724 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 79 - What is LoveEpisode 75: What Is Love? - Operation: Thriving Marriage
Welcome back to Operation: Thriving Marriage! In today’s episode, we dive into one of the most fundamental aspects of both faith and relationships: What Is Love?
Episode Summary:
Love is often misunderstood in our culture, reduced to just a fleeting emotion or romantic ideal. But Jesus commands us to love, which means love must be more than just a feeling—it’s an attitude and an action as well. In this episode, we explore what the Bible teaches about love and how understanding love biblic...2025-02-1723 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 78 - We Marry Our Unfinished BusinessIn this episode of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we dive into the idea that we often marry our unfinished business. Relationship patterns, childhood wounds, and unmet emotional needs can shape our marriages in ways we don’t even realize. But the good news? With self-awareness and God’s guidance, we can break free from unhealthy cycles and build stronger, healthier marriages.
Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb once said, “We marry our unfinished business.” But what does that mean? Many of us didn’t receive the love, support, or affirmation we needed growing up, so we subconsciously seek a spouse who...2025-02-0325 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 77 - Commitment: Not Getting Divorced is not EnoughPodcast Notes for Operation: Thriving Marriage
Episode 78: Commitment is More Than Not Getting Divorced
Commitment in marriage is often misunderstood. Many couples believe it simply means not getting divorced, but staying married isn’t enough to create a thriving relationship. True commitment requires more than avoiding separation—it’s about intentionally nurturing your marriage every day. A thriving marriage requires constant care, attention, and prioritization. Without this, couples may find themselves in a relationship that feels like a burden rather than a joy.
When commitment is misunderstood, it often leads to...2024-12-3020 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 76 - Why Men Don’t Feel SafePodcast Notes for Operation: Thriving Marriage
Episode 76: Things That Hurt Men
Introduction
In marriage, safety should be foundational—just as it is in the military. While service members are trained to recognize and defend against dangers, the same principle applies to relationships. Marriage should be the safest human connection, but achieving this requires understanding and addressing the risks that threaten that safety.
This episode focuses on the dangers men often face silently in marriage. We’ll uncover some common insecurities and challenges that men rarely communicate about until...2024-12-1619 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 75 - New Love LanguagesEpisode 75: New Love Languages
Welcome to Operation: Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of love languages—one of the most helpful tools for building strong, loving relationships. While Dr. Gary Chapman’s original five love languages have impacted countless marriages, new research shows they might not cover everyone’s unique ways of expressing and receiving love. We’re exploring the two new love languages introduced by eHarmony—Shared Experiences and Emotional Security—and how they can deepen your connection with your spouse.
Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages revolutionized how couples commu...2024-11-1928 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 74 - Combining Accounts; Yes or No?**Episode 74: Combining Accounts; Yes or No? | Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast**
In this episode, Bryon and Jen explore a question often asked during premarital coaching and live events but rarely discussed openly in marriage circles: *Should we combine our bank accounts?* While questions about sex and parenting frequently arise, financial issues don’t come up as often. Why is that? Bryon and Jen delve into why this topic is essential and how it can shape the future health of a marriage.
Couples, especially newlyweds, often struggle with the decision of whether or not to merge the...2024-11-0430 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 73 - Being Your Spouse’s PeaceEpisode 73: Being Your Spouse’s Peace - Operation: Thriving Marriage
Introduction
We recently read an article titled, "Being a Man's Peace," but what does that really mean? Does peace depend on one spouse, or is it something deeper? We’ll break down this idea and see how it aligns—or conflicts—with a biblical understanding of peace.
What Does Peace Really Mean?
In today's culture, peace is often misunderstood as the absence of conflict or simply making things calm. But in the Bible, peace—"shalom"—is much more than that. It represents wholeness, completeness...2024-10-1524 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 72 - Can I Still Be Friends With My Ex?**Podcast Episode Notes for "Operation: Thriving Marriage"**
**Episode 72: Can I Still Be Friends With My Ex?**
**Introduction**
- Is it possible or wise to stay friends with an ex? How do different people feel about maintaining such relationships, especially within the context of a marriage? In today’s episode, we’ll dive into these questions, explore the complexities of relationships with exes, and discuss how they can impact your marriage.
**The Problem: Almost Everyone Has an Ex**
- Whether it’s someone you dated before marriage or a former spouse after divorce, ex-partne...2024-09-3028 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 71 - What Does the Bible Really Say About Marital Submission**Introduction**
Welcome to another episode of *Operation: Thriving Marriage*. Today, we're diving into one of the most challenging and divisive topics in Christian marriage—submission. Bryon and Jen explore why submission stirs such strong reactions and what it really means from a biblical perspective.
**Why Submission is a Major Issue**
Bryon asks Jen why she thinks submission is such a contentious topic in Christian marriages. Jen explains that there are two primary reasons for this:
1. **Historical Abuses Against Women**: The concept of submission is often rejected as outdated and harmful because of...2024-09-0323 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 70 - Sex After Kids**Episode 70: Sex After Kids**
In this episode of *Operation: Thriving Marriage*, we tackle the challenge of keeping intimacy alive after having children. Sex is essential for a strong marriage, fostering connection, happiness, and intimacy. However, once kids enter the picture, maintaining a healthy sex life can feel nearly impossible. Privacy disappears, interruptions are constant, and bedtime routines become a battle. Yet, a thriving sex life is crucial for a thriving marriage, and we’re here to help.
Tune in as we share practical strategies to protect your intimacy. Learn how to plan sex dates, enforce be...2024-08-1914 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 69 - I Feel More Like a Roommate than a SpouseIn this episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast we answer another listener question. In this episode Deanna asked how to deal with the dreaded roommate phase. She says she feels more a roommate than a wife. This is a difficult but common experience for couples especially after 3 - 5 years of marriage. It’s uncomfortable in the moment, but as you build your communication skills you will find new ways to connect and build intimacy that will make your marriage stronger than it was before. This episode provides insight and advice on how to do exactly that.
2024-07-2921 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 68 - Friends, Finances, and Your MarriageIn Episode 69 of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we focus on how friendships impact the financial health of a marriage. Jen shares personal stories about how her friends influence her relationship and finances, reflecting Jimmy Evans' insight from XO Marriage that our friends shape our future. We delve into Biblical teachings that highlight the importance of healthy, God-designed relationships, emphasizing that financial decisions are crucial within these dynamics.
We address the challenge of friends who negatively affect our finances, especially in today’s social media-driven world. Friends often showcase their extravagant lifestyles online, leading to feelings of inadequacy and fi...2024-07-1525 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 67 - Through the Eyes of a ChildIn this enlightening episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage podcast, we turn the spotlight on our first guests - our kids! Join us as we dive into the world of marriage from a child's perspective, exploring their candid thoughts, heartfelt observations, and innocent wisdom about what it takes to build a thriving marriage.
Our kids share their views on love, partnership, and what they've learned from watching us navigate the ups and downs of married life. This heartwarming and insightful episode offers a refreshing look at marriage through the eyes of the next generation. Whether you're a2024-06-2422 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 66 - Spicing Things UpIn this episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, we answer a listener question. Megen asked “How to spice things up in marriage without cheating.”
Marriages all go through phase in sex and intimacy. There are times when sex is less frequent than one or both of you desire. There are also times when the sex is not as fulfilling as one or both of you would like it to be. These are normal struggles in marriage. Cheating will not solve those problems. Cheating can only lead to hurt and pain in a marriage.
In this...2024-06-1019 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 65 - Flood of AngerWelcome to Operation: Thriving Marriage. In today's episode, we address a common marital issue—anger. Often, we blame our spouse for making us angry, creating a cycle of blame and frustration. But here's the truth: it's not our spouse who controls our emotions; it's us.
We dive into how to break this harmful cycle by taking responsibility for our feelings. Understand that your emotions are shaped by your personality, genetics, and past experiences, not by your spouse's actions. Recognize that incidents, not people, incite anger.
Learn practical steps to manage your anger: pause, pray, or ta...2024-05-2919 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 64 - Trad WivesWelcome to Episode 64 of Operation: Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we delve into the topic of Trad Wives, exploring what it means to be a Trad Wife, its roots in nostalgia versus scripture, and its impact on modern marriages.
Hosts Bryon and Jen kick off the discussion by questioning the allure of the Trad Wife movement and its representation in today's culture. They dissect the aesthetic versus the practical actions associated with being a Trad Wife, highlighting the unrealistic expectations it can create, especially for young couples.
The episode tackles the roots of the Trad...2024-05-1428 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 63 - Critical SpousesWelcome to Episode 63 of Operation: Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we delve into the delicate balance between criticism and growth within marriage. We explore the concept that holiness, not just happiness, is a key goal. First, we address the challenge posed by criticism, often a significant source of conflict in marriages. How can we navigate critiquing our spouse without causing harm?Our solution? Presume goodwill. Regular listeners know this mantra well. Coupled with humility, we delve into Proverbs 16:18, emphasizing the importance of humility in both listening and speaking. Understanding context and maintaining a loving relationship foundation are also crucial...2024-04-2217 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 62 - Relationship Jet LagWelcome to Operation: Thriving Marriage, where we dive deep into the intricacies of relationships and provide actionable insights to help your marriage flourish. In this episode, we explore the concept of "Relationship Jet Lag."Host Bryon kicks off the conversation with his recent frequent travels, highlighting the stark differences in how couples experience reconnection after a period of separation. Whether it's days, weeks, or even hours apart, many couples face challenges in reconnecting due to what we term "Relationship Jet Lag."This phenomenon of "jet lag" in relationships manifests as a mental disconnection despite physical presence, often caused by...2024-04-0818 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 61 - When Compromise is Not an OptionDiscover why compromise isn't always the answer in marriage, as we delve into the pitfalls of elevating compromise too high in marital discussions. Join us as we explore real-life examples, biblical perspectives, and practical solutions for resolving conflicts when compromise is not an option. Learn how to identify underlying values, seek guidance, and make decisions that strengthen your marriage without sacrificing your core beliefs. Don't miss this insightful episode on navigating marital conflicts with wisdom and grace.
2024-03-1821 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 60 - Competing in MarriageEpisode 62 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast – exploring the dynamics of Healthy Competition in relationships.
Discover the underlying problem as we explore how competition can lead to conflict in marriages. We discuss how competitive individuals often attach personal value to winning, revealing insecurities that breed negative feelings.
Our suggested solution emphasizes that avoiding competition altogether doesn't foster a thriving marriage. Instead, learn to compete in healthy ways by letting go of your ego, celebrating your spouse's victories, and being gracious when you win.
We provide insights on what's fair game in healthy competition...2024-03-0522 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp - 59 Chemistry Isn’t RealWelcome to Episode 59 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage podcast - "Chemistry Isn’t Real." No, we're not diving into conspiracy theories, but rather debunking the myth of instant chemistry in relationships.
In this episode, we explore how our notions of love have been shaped by fairy tales and romantic comedies, highlighting that love at first sight is merely lust. Thriving marriages aren't built on fleeting emotions or meet-cutes; chasing chemistry leads to short-term relationships and emotional struggles.
Compatibility, not chemistry, should be your focus. Compatibility is something you build not something that magically happens or a...2024-02-2219 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 58 - Marriage is Fun!Welcome to Episode 58 of Operation: Thriving Marriage, challenging the negativity surrounding marriages. In this episode, we delve into the abundance of negative articles on marriage, discussing what not to do and how to make things better.
Break free from the cycle of negativity. Thriving marriages highlight the positive aspects, such as building and reliving memories together, celebrating wins, unforgettable dates, and embracing silliness without self-consciousness.
Research consistently shows that married couples enjoy more and better sex, reinforcing the idea that marriage is a source of joy and connection.
Remember, marriage is fun! Take...2024-02-0514 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 57 - When Intimacy Doesn’t Lead to SexWelcome to Episode 57 of Operation: Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we explore the crucial distinction between intimacy and sex within a marriage. Join us as we delve into the challenges faced by couples who share deep connections but find passion missing in their relationship. Discover the biblical perspective on the importance of sexual expression in marriage and explore practical solutions to enhance your intimacy. From playful communication to building anticipation, we unveil strategies to reignite the spark. Listen for insights on fostering a healthy balance between closeness and passion in your marriage. Don't miss out on the keys to...2024-01-2221 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 56 - Listening During Tough ConversationsWelcome to Episode 56 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast - "Listening During Tough Conversations." Join us as we explore the intricate dance of communication in marriage, focusing on the challenging yet crucial skill of effective listening.
In our discussion, we address the common notion that listening is often more challenging than expressing oneself. We delve into the complexities, particularly when your spouse communicates negative experiences within the relationship, emphasizing the significant impact these conversations can have on your marriage.
Discover the solution to navigating these tough conversations as we guide you toward growing closer with...2024-01-0819 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 55 - Validation Leads to Transformation!Welcome to Episode 55 of Operation Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we delve into the transformative power of validation in building a thriving marriage. From the importance of validating our spouses in various aspects of life to recognizing and overcoming the pitfalls of invalidation, we explore how positive reinforcement fosters oneness and spurs personal growth. Discover key habits that validate, such as expressing gratitude and avoiding subtle invalidations. Join us as we navigate the intricacies of presuming goodwill, fostering closeness, and making validation a cornerstone for a flourishing marriage. Tune in for practical insights and strategies to maximize the potential...2023-12-1821 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 54 - Praying as a CoupleWelcome to Episode 54 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast. In this episode, Bryon and Jen delve into the heart of Christian prayer challenges. Many Christians grapple with guilt surrounding their prayer life, openly admitting to falling short. Bryon and Jen tackle this issue, emphasizing the transformative nature of prayer that extends beyond mere conversation with God. Highlighting Jen's and Bryon's unique approaches—the episode provides a comprehensive exploration.
Listeners are invited to explore varied methods, such as the structured Anglican Morning Prayer and the intimacy of family prayer.
We hope you will initiate and sustain pr...2023-12-1123 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 53 - Anniversary Edition! Questions from ListenersThis is our 2 year anniversary episode! In this episode Bryon and Jennifer take listener questions.
When is it ok to seek advice outside of the marriage?
How do you raise kids when you have different backgrounds, opinions, and traditions?
What is the best way to build trust after repeated infidelity?
We seem to hear about husbands wanting sex more often, how do you navigate when the wife seems to need it more?
What to do if our love languages collide with each other?
2023-11-2722 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 52 - Happy!Welcome to Episode 52 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, "Happy!" While we often say marriage isn't about happiness, we delve into why it's crucial to prioritize happiness correctly. Unhappiness can lead to dissatisfaction, conflicts, and decreased problem-solving abilities in a marriage.
We discuss the problem of declining happiness in the US and worldwide, emphasizing the importance of happiness for making better decisions, resilience, health, and more.
Our solution focuses on improving your happiness by taking responsibility for it. We introduce the CPR method – Connection, Positivity, and Resilience. We stress the role of human connections, positivity in...2023-11-0627 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 51 - Thoughts on PrenupsIn episode 51 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, Bryon and Jennifer shares thoughts on the tricky subject of prenuptial agreements. Prenuptial agreements have gotten a very bad wrap in the evangelical church. It’s often said that couples should not get them because they should not be planning for their divorce.
Marriage is sacred to be entered into with the commitment that you will stay together for your entire lifetime. Divorce is not God’s plan for marriage. Prenuptial agreements are not just about divorce. As a lawyer Jen has advised clients to get prenuptial agreements for vario...2023-10-2324 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 50 - Communication BreakdownsIn this milestone 50th episode, airing on October 9, 2023, of "Communication Breakdowns," we dive deep into the critical topic of communication breakdowns within marriages. Host Jen starts by sharing a personal example of a case where communication faltered, highlighting the importance of effective communication in relationships.
Discover the root causes of communication breakdowns in marriages, with a focus on resentment. Explore the emotions of resenting your spouse or feeling resented by them and uncover practical solutions for addressing these issues head-on. Learn how to deal with feelings of resentment, even when they stem from seemingly trivial reasons, and...2023-10-0922 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 49 - A Little Help From Our Friends
Welcome to the Operation: Thriving Marriage podcast. In this episode we dive deep into the importance of maintaining balanced and healthy friendships within your marriage. In today's fast-paced world, many of us fall into the trap of believing that our spouse should fulfill all our friendship needs. But is that realistic? This podcast explores the problem with this unrealistic expectation, how it can put excessive pressure on your spouse, and even separate you from your broader community.
Join us as we discuss the biblical perspective on friendships, drawing inspiration from the profound relationships of David a...2023-09-2530 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp - 48 R-E-S-P-E-C-TIn this episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, we dive deep into the essential element of any thriving relationship - mutual respect. We'll start by asking a fundamental question: Who do you respect, and why? Join us as we explore how respect plays a pivotal role in maintaining strong and healthy connections.
When we talk to couples in crisis, a recurring theme emerges - the erosion of mutual respect. Love may still linger, but the loss of respect can have devastating consequences. We acknowledge the stereotypes that suggest women need love while men need respect, but...2023-09-1224 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 47 - Why You Shouldn’t Get MarriedDebunking Unrealistic Marriage Expectations
Join us for a thought-provoking episode as we dissect the common motivations behind marriage decisions and evaluate whether these expectations hold up in reality. Delve into the realm of marriage misconceptions and uncover its deeper purpose.
**The Issue - Challenging Unrealistic Marriage Beliefs:**
Embark on a journey to explore the misconceptions that often drive individuals to seek marriage, including unfounded beliefs in assured financial stability, complete emotional fulfillment, and an end to loneliness. We unpack these notions to uncover their true validity.
**The Truth - Unveiling Biblical Insights:**2023-08-2819 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 46 - Anniversary EditionA lot of podcasts talk about why marriage is important and insight into how to stay marriage. We often forget to talk about how much fun it is to be married. In this episode, Bryon and Jen celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary with the audience telling stories about their wedding day and sharing some of the things they enjoy about being married.
2023-08-1520 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 45 - PornographyWelcome to episode 45 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, airing on July 31, 2023. In this thought-provoking podcast, we address the pervasive issue of pornography within Christian culture. We examine conflicting data on pornography usage among Christians and its detrimental effects on relationships and marriages.
Throughout the episode, we explore the negative impacts of pornography, such as negative body image, addiction, and unrealistic sexual expectations. Drawing from biblical passages, we emphasize that using porn is considered a sin.
Our aim is to provide a solution for dealing with the shame surrounding pornography. We remind listeners that God's...2023-07-3123 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 44 - What Makes a Good Apology?In this episode hosts Bryon and Jen delve into the significance of apologies in fostering healthy relationships. Despite lawyers often discouraging apologies due to potential legal implications, Bryon and Jen explore how apologies are essential for healing the rifts caused by our actions.
They confront prevalent misconceptions about apologies, such as the mistaken belief that saying sorry signifies weakness or admitting liability. Additionally, they debunk the idea of superficial apologies aimed at merely escaping discomfort. By addressing these misconceptions, they shed light on how such notions compound the damage and create distance in relationships, hindering the necessary...2023-07-1722 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 43 - Struggling for ControlJoin us in this episode as we delve into the challenges couples face in maintaining self-determination while becoming a cohesive unit in marriage. Though the ideal is unity, it's natural for both partners to desire independence and resist control.
Tracing the roots of the struggle for control, we find it originates from the fall and the introduction of sin and selfishness. Through interviews with couples in crisis, we witness the common thread of control issues leading to conflicts in various aspects of their lives.
However, we emphasize that controlling behavior is contrary to God's plan...2023-07-0316 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 42 - Let’s Talk About MoneyIn this episode, we delve into the often difficult and taboo subject of money within marriages. We explore the challenges of discussing finances and provide strategies to strengthen relationships through open and honest conversations. Research shows that while money may not be the main cause of divorce, it is a significant contributor to marital stress. The key issue lies in differing values around money, exacerbated by a lack of communication. To address this, we suggest presuming goodwill in your partner's intentions, focusing on strategic discussions about values and goals, and avoiding weaponizing financial conflicts. Seeking the assistance of a...2023-06-1928 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 41 - Marriage on MissionIn this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the concept of "mission" and its different meanings. One host, with a military background, associates mission with combat and military objectives. However, the other host highlights the common Christian perspective of mission, which is often focused on evangelism and spreading the gospel.
They emphasize that the mission of humanity goes beyond evangelism and is rooted in representing God on Earth. They refer to Genesis and temple themes to illustrate that humans were created to rule and represent God. They argue that mission existed before sin and should encompass more than...2023-06-0621 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 40 - Does Your Marriage Make You Happy?In this episode of the Operation Thriving Marriage podcast, the hosts delve into the topic of happiness and its connection to thriving marriages. They begin by sharing quotes from ancient philosophers, one suggesting that true happiness is only attainable after death and the other emphasizing the impossibility of achieving happiness in our present lives. This leads to a discussion about society’s strong belief in the pursuit and attainment of happiness, especially in America where it is deeply ingrained in our identity. The hosts highlight how marital stress often manifests as unhappiness and reference an article on the changing la...2023-05-2220 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 39 - When Love Languages CollideIn this episode of the Operation Thriving Marriage Podcast, Bryon and Jennifer discuss the concept of love languages and how they can differ between individuals in a relationship. They highlight the importance of understanding and accepting these differences to avoid conflict and misunderstandings. The hosts also delve into the challenges that arise when love languages collide, particularly when one partner's love language makes the other uncomfortable. They suggest that communication is key to navigating this issue and offer tips on how to do so effectively, such as translating one's partner's actions into their love language and trying to love...2023-05-0924 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 38 - Be A ManIn culture today there are a lot of competing messages about masculinity. It gets even trickier when you start listening to different people try to define biblical masculinity. In this episode we focus on what the Bible does say about masculinity and highlight areas that are often presented as biblical but where the Bible is actually silent. We then try to give men some direction on how to be the husbands God has called them to be.
In this episode we reference the book Of Boys And Men: Why the Modern Male is Struggling, Why It Matters...2023-04-2531 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 37 - When Sex Becomes Routine2023-04-1017 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 36 - Lust!Lust is a common experience. Contemporary culture treats lust as normal and not a problem. “You can look but you can’t touch.” That is not how Jesus treats lust. He says lusting is the same as adultery. Lust is a problem that must be addressed. It objectifies the object of lust and damages the intimacy in marriage.
Link to the article mentioned at the beginning of the episode.
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/did-we-kiss-purity-goodbye?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=paidsocial&utm_campaign=NTP%20%E2%80%93%20US%20Boost&utm_content=Did%20We%20Kiss%20Purity%20Goodbye%3F&hsa_acc=1624234290982548&hsa_cam=23849977346490267&hsa_grp=238...2023-03-2720 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 35 - One But DifferentWhen we get married we become one but we don’t lose who we are. Our personalities are part of who we are as individuals. These differences are important and can sometimes lead to conflict. Couples will often mishandle these differences by ignoring or exaggerating them. In this episode we hope to help you learn how to manage your differences in a healthy way.
Link to the article Jen read:
https://www.sistersletter.com/we-time/many-women-over-40-who-seem-lucky-in-love-actually-know-this?cmp=SNP-ICM-FB-SISTERS-CTW&kenshooID=284884660&kpid=fb_cmp-6271654246437_adg-6303225404237_ad-6307010121237&fbclid=IwAR2zy6Jkp0W6pMjnaVCPBlu4z4RuWFopjfLf2Eq1...2023-03-1318 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 34 - Divorce is an OptionDivorce is not desirable. It is definitely not what we want for your marriage, but the reality is that divorce is an option. When pretending that divorce is not an option it prevents us from dealing with the issues that lead to divorce. We can’t prevent divorce by saying it’s not an option. We can only prevent divorce by dealing with the issues that lead to divorce.
2023-02-2723 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 33 - The Signs of a Thriving MarriageA thriving marriage is not something you arrive at but rather a journey you’re on. This episode discusses some of the signs you will see when a marriage is thriving.
2023-02-1320 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 32 - Managing Difference in ParentingBecoming parents is not the purpose of marriage. Parenting, however, can lead to conflicts in marriage when you, as a couple, don’t agree on how to handle things. It’s important to manage the Unexpectations around parenting. If you don’t it will keep your marriage from thriving.
2023-01-3027 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 31 - Who Completes You?Does your spouse complete you? Is that the biblical vision for marriage?
Well, the answer is no. The one who completes us is God not our spouse. A thriving marriage is not a couple completing each other. A thriving marriage is two people complete in Christ growing in holiness together. Your marriage will thrive when you look to God to complete you and your spouse to be your partner in growing to be more fit for the kingdom of God.
2023-01-1619 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 30 - Normal Marital Hatred?According to an article in the Washington Post by Terrence Real there is a normal amount of marital hatred. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/09/23/marriage-relationships-conflict/
Is that true? Is there a normal amount of hatred in marriage? Well, Jesus calls us to love our enemies. If that’s true then even more so then we should love our spouses. Hate does not have a place in Christianity at all much less, in marriage. Yet, in marriage we will not always be happy. There will be times when we aren’t happy in marriage but that should not lead...2023-01-0220 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 29 - When Support isn’t SupportiveMarriage exists to help to people become more fit to fulfill the purpose that God has for them. One of the ways we do that is by supporting each other. To be effective at this we need to match the right support to the need. Support can be emotional, tangible, or informational. Each one is necessary at different times to make a marriage thrive.
You can find the article Jen references in this episode at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shared-existence/202209/how-common-misunderstanding-leads-so-many-couples-conflict
2022-12-1914 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 28 - Weathering the StormsMarriages go through natural phases of development. In this episode, Bryon and Jen apply Bruce Tuckman’s theory of group development to our marriages and use his observations to help us navigate the storms we all face in marriage.
2022-12-0620 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 27 - Home for the Holidays!?Holidays can be very stressful for a marriage. The Unexpectations (unmet expectations that are unvoiced, unshared, or unreasonable) that crop up during the holidays can create significant conflicts in a marriage. In this episode, Bryon and Jen talk about navigating the conflicts that often occur during the stressful holiday season.
2022-11-2123 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 26 - What Does the Bible Say About Gender RolesIn this episode Bryon and Jen discuss the theology of gender and what the Bible says about gender roles in marriage.
2022-11-1426 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 25 - Love is a ChoiceWhat do you do if you find someone other than your spouse attractive? Is it okay to find someone other than your spouse attractive?
There are attractive people out there. Seeing attractive people is unavoidable. You can control what you think about and how you look at attractive people.
Three things can help you deal with feelings of attraction:
Choose to love your spouse.
Take every thought captive. Control what you think about.
Accentuate the positive aspects of your spouse
2022-10-2420 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 24 - Live From New Life Church Pt 6You need to talk about sex! Sex is an important part of marriage. Healthy marriages have healthy sex lives. To have a thriving marriage you need to be able to talk about sex in your marriage.
2022-10-1237 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 23 - Live from New Life Church pt 5Communication is one of the most important aspects of a marriage. Good communication will solve problems when they arise. Even better though, good communication will prevent problems from arising in the first place. The trick to healthy communication in marriage is to listen in a way your spouse wants to speak to you and speak in a way your spouse wants to listen.
2022-09-2850 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 22 -Live from New Life Church pt 4One of the core principles of Operation: Thriving Marriage is the idea of Team Marriage. Having a thriving marriage requires you as a couple working together as a team. In this session we unpack the theology and practical aspects of building a team in your marriage.
2022-09-1434 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 21 - Live from New Life Church #3This is the third installment of our live event at New Life Church in Ann Arbor, MI. Here we talk about a concept we call “Unexpectations.” Every argument you’ve ever had or ever will have in your marriage stems from an Unexpectations. These are expectations that are unvoiced, unshared, or unreasonable. Knowing the Unexpectations and why it is an Unexpectations is the first step in resolving conflict in marriage.
2022-08-2232 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 20: Live from New Life Church part 2This is a continuation of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Experience that we did at New Life Church in Ann Arbor in May of 2022. In this session we continue to talk about the biblical purpose of marriage. What you believe about marriage affects what you think about marriage which affects how you behave in your marriage. Do you believe what God says the purpose of marriage is or what your family or TV says the purpose of marriage is?
2022-08-1028 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 19: Live from New Life Church in Ann ArborThis episode is a replay of the first session from our Operation: Thriving Marriage Experience at New Life Church in Ann Arbor. This episode covers God’s purpose for marriage.
2022-07-2513 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 18: What if I Didn’t Marry My Soulmate?Did you marry your soulmate? Are you sure?
The truth is you probably didn’t marry your soulmate because soulmates are a concepts developed out of romance novels not from Scripture. In this episode, Bryon and Jen bust the myth of soulmates and talk about what it means to develop truly lasting love within the marriage that God has given you.
2022-07-1116 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 17: Mature SexAt a recent Operation: Thriving Marriage Experience, we were asked what are some marks or waypoints of a mature or maturing sex life. We are inundated with unrealistic skewed expectations about sex. It is important for us to know and talk about healthy sex rather than chase the ideas and attitudes in the media.
The most important thing is for couples to love each other, listen to each other, and express your love to each other physically. Never compare your sex life to others. Your sex life is yours and no one else’s.
2022-06-2720 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 16: Little Problems Become Big Problems; You Need To Work on Your Marriage EarlyThere has been a trend of spouses coming to us after they receive divorce papers. It is much harder to fix a marriage when one person in the couple is ready to end it. Marriage, however, works when you work it. In this episode, Bryon and Jen talk about the importance of addressing problems early so they don’t become become big problems.
2022-06-1320 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 15 Managing In-Law ExpectationsIn this episode, Bryon and Jen talk about managing in-law expectations. All in-laws have expectations on their loved ones’ marriages. This is normal. It can be tricky, though. When not handled correctly, these expectations can have a negative effect on your marriage. If handled well, however, it is possible to have both a thriving marriage and a thriving relationship with your in-laws. There are a few keys that will help build that kind of marriage:
Prioritize your marriage
Communicate clearly
Set appropriate boundaries
Protect your boundaries
2022-05-3025 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 14 Speak in a Way Your Spouse Wants to ListenIn the last podcast, we talked about listening better. In this one we talk about how we can speak in a way to improve communication in our marriages. It is important to learn skills that will help us communicate well with our spouses.
2022-05-0924 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 13 Message Sent, Message Not Received (Improving Your Listening Skills)This is the first of a two part series on communication. In this episode, Bryon and Jen talk about how you can practically improve your listening skills to strengthen your marriage.
2022-04-2620 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 12 - Money Can’t Buy Love, or a Thriving MarriageMoney is regularly cited as the number one reason for divorce. It is also one of the things Jesus talked about the most. Why is money so dangerous? Why is it so important? In this episode, Bryon and Jen discuss the place money has in marriage and how we can ensure that it helps us build thriving marriages and doesn't rip our relationships apart.
2022-04-0543 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 11 - Team MarriageHave you seen marriages that just seem to go from one fight to another? Clearly those marriages are not thriving. Marriage is not designed to be a conflict. Marriage functions best when as a couple you work as a team. There are essential elements to building a good team. In this podcast we will talk about those essentials to building your thriving marriage.
2022-03-2136 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 10 - Why Am I Married?Why are you married? Why did you get married? What is marriage for? In this episode Bryon and Jen talk about the purpose of marriage from a biblical and theological perspective. They explain that marriage is about holiness and godliness, and becoming the people that God created us to be.
2022-03-0734 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 09 - Love is What You DoLove is often confusing and misunderstood. Yet, love is key to a thriving marriage. In this episode Bryon and Jen talk about the biblical definition of love and how to strengthen love in your marriage.
2022-02-2128 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 08 - Thriving Sex LifeSex is an uncommon topic to discuss in a church setting. But sex is an important topic to discuss in the church because it's an important part of marriage. God created sex to help couples grow closer together. When we don't talk about sex in the church then we learn about sex from places that do not understand God's plan and purpose for it. We hope this podcast helps you to discuss sex in your marriage and build a thriving sex life in your marriage.
2022-02-0723 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 07 - Successful Marriage or Successful Career? Can I have both?Work/life balance is a common struggle. We are often asked if it's possible to have a thriving marriage and a thriving career. We absolutely believe it is possible but we need to maintain the proper priorities. In this podcast we talk about maintaining a thriving marriage while building a thriving career.
2022-01-2437 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp 06 -Who Are You?Does your identity in your marriage overwhelm your individual identity? Do your individual identities prevent you from forming an identity as a couple? In this episode we discuss how are identity as a couple and as individuals are used to strengthen our marriages and display the love of God through them.
2022-01-1029 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp-05 Submit to Whom?Biblical submission; one of the biggest misconceptions people have about the Bible is that wives are subservient to husbands. Join Bryon and Jennifer as they talk about what the Bible says about gender roles in marriage.
2021-12-2734 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp - 04 Un-ExpectationsEvery conflict you have ever had in you marriage is the result of an unmet expectation. We all have expectations about how marriage should be but the problem is no one getting married shares every expectation. Also, your expectations will change in your marriage. Understanding that you have different expectations and how to manage expectations is key to building a thriving marriage.
2021-12-1327 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEp - 03 Forgiveness is What You Do, Not What You FeelForgiveness is vital to every relationship. Yet, no relationship provides more opportunities to forgive or demands more forgiveness in marriage. Often when we talk to people they are stuck because the don't feel forgiving or forgiven. Like many things in life, forgiveness is not what you feel; it's what you do.
2021-11-2925 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEP - 02: Don‘t Let Your Anger Control YouAnger is both common and dangerous. As we discuss anger in this episode we look at why anger can be destructive when mishandled and look at specific ways to handle our anger constructively.
2021-11-1524 minOperation: Thriving MarriageEP - 01: That One Awkward ConversationIn this our first episode we discuss a common issue to every marriage, conflict. Join us as we look at conflict and discuss why it's important to have conflict in your marriage for it to truly thrive. It's not conflict that hurts marriages. It's conflict that is not dealt with in a healthy manner.
2021-11-0120 min