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Carterbloke
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carterbloke
Mi Pancho Shaka Maraca [La Bamba Parody]
A parody version of 'La Bamba' originally recorded for the 'Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' radio show. With an affectionate nod to Los Lobos and apologies to the bloke out of CHiPs. This is a not-for-profit parody song. Artists provide their services free of charge.
2023-04-26
02 min
carterbloke
The Nottingham Passion - Show Week 3 [BBC Radio Nottingham 310323]
The Nottingham Passion - Show Week 3 [BBC Radio Nottingham 310323] by carterbloke
2023-04-01
03 min
carterbloke
The Nottingham Passion - Show Week 2 [BBC Radio Nottingham 300323]
The Nottingham Passion - Show Week 2 [BBC Radio Nottingham 300323] by carterbloke
2023-03-30
04 min
carterbloke
The Nottingham Passion - Show Week 1 [BBC Radio Nottingham 290323]
The Nottingham Passion - Show Week 1 [BBC Radio Nottingham 290323] by carterbloke
2023-03-29
05 min
carterbloke
The Nottingham Passion - James Pacey & Simon Carter [BBC Radio Nottingham 260323]
The Nottingham Passion - James Pacey & Simon Carter [BBC Radio Nottingham 260323] by carterbloke
2023-03-27
05 min
carterbloke
The Nottingham Passion - The Two Marys [BBC Radio Nottingham 190323]
The Nottingham Passion - The Two Marys [BBC Radio Nottingham 190323] by carterbloke
2023-03-19
04 min
carterbloke
Traces Of Nuts - The Great Flood
Recorded at BBC Radio Leicester under the watchful gaze of Chris Baxter, this sketch stars Jon Wood as Noah and Stephan Bessant as Steve. Written by Simon Carter, aka. carterbloke, this sketch first appeared on the Traces Of Nuts comedy show. More silliness visit: carterbloke.com/podcast
2023-02-04
01 min
carterbloke
A Spaceman Came Travelling [To Calverton]
A parody version of 'A Spaceman Came Travelling.' This is a not-for-profit release with all artists on the track providing their services free of charge. Written and performed by Simon Carter (a.k.a. carterbloke) with guest appearances from members of Calverton Theatre Group, Nottinghamshire, UK. Dedicated to the staff and patrons of The Admiral Rodney and Pete's Fish Bar, Calverton. No actual spacemen were harmed in the making of this song and (to the best of our knowledge) nobody was inappropriately fondled. Visit carterbloke.com for more ridiculous old tat like this.
2022-12-02
04 min
carterbloke
You Glaze Me Up
A not-for-profit parody version of 'You Raise Me Up' using a paid for backing track from karaoke-version.co.uk. Staying strong through joy and creativity, and raising funds for Muted, a brilliant men's mental health charity. See JustGiving page here: https://justgiving.com/page/carterbloke.
2022-11-27
04 min
carterbloke
High Notes Hallelujah
A not-for-profit parody version of 'Hallelujah' using a paid for backing track from karaoke-version.co.uk. With an affectionate nod to Alexandra Burke. Staying strong through joy and creativity, and raising funds for Muted, a brilliant men's mental health charity. See JustGiving page here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/blokebox. +++ SLEEVE NOTES +++ Since 2020 I've written a show called Blokebox (also known as 'Nige Dials In'). It started as a Covid lockdown project for BBC Radio Nottingham, designed to bring a smile to others in extraordinary times. It's about a guy called Nige who finds himself going round the twist in...
2022-11-14
03 min
carterbloke
Silent Mics At Empty Tables
The infamous 'Simon from Calverton' (aka. carterbloke) brings this Les Mis parody song in protest at BBC plans to make significant cuts to its local radio programming - see story here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-63455192. Stop this! Sign the petition: https://www.change.org/p/save-bbc-local-radio-f3560aed-da07-4680-97a0-527e9aa19c34. This is a parody version of 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables' from Les Miserables. A not-for-profit track using a paid for backing track from karaoke-version.co.uk.
2022-11-13
02 min
carterbloke
BBC Radio Nottingham - CHALK Interview - October 2021
John 1:5 - the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. BBC Radio Nottingham's Frances Finn speaks to Simon Carter about CHALK, a new play about dementia, time travel and Smurfs. It’s being performed at St Helen's Church, Burton Joyce, Nottinghamshire, UK, on Wednesday 10th November. Richard’s illness makes him forget but won’t stop him fighting. To preserve his long-term memories, Richard chooses to live in his mind as the ten-year-old boy he was at school in the 1970s. CHALK is also raising money for the Alzheimer’s Society. Interview broadcast date: 31 October 2021.
2021-10-31
05 min
carterbloke
BBC Radio Nottingham - CHALK Interview - June 2021
BBC Radio Nottingham's Arun Verma speaks to Simon Carter about CHALK, a new play about dementia, time travel and Smurfs. It’s being staged at the Robin Hood Theatre, Averham, Nottinghamshire, UK, from Wednesday 23rd to Saturday 26th June. Richard’s illness makes him forget but won’t stop him fighting. To preserve his long-term memories, Richard chooses to live in his mind as the ten-year-old boy he was at school in the 1970s. Tickets for the show are on sale now – get them from rhtc.co.uk. CHALK is also raising money for the Alzheimer’s Society. Interview broadcast date: 15 J
2021-06-16
14 min
carterbloke
BBC Radio Nottingham - CHALK Preview - June 2021
BBC Radio Nottingham's Arun Verma introduces ‘Love and Bubbles’ – a scene from CHALK, a new play by Simon Carter about dementia, time travel and Smurfs. It’s being staged at the Robin Hood Theatre, Averham, Nottinghamshire, UK, from Wednesday 23rd to Saturday 26th June. Richard’s illness makes him forget but won’t stop him fighting. To preserve his long-term memories, Richard chooses to live in his mind as the ten-year-old boy he was at school in the 1970s. In this scene, he reads a letter to his wife, the love of his life, who he met when they were both childre...
2021-06-07
05 min
carterbloke
Kindfulness - In With Love
You've tried lots of wellbeing apps during lockdown. But did any of them REALLY deal with that deep-seated rage and cynicism? The pettiness, the self-entitlement, the sense of powerlessness? We don't mean YOU, obviously. YOU'RE perfect. It's all them others. But you've got to LIVE with these numpties. How will YOU deal? Try the KINDFULNESS app - a game-changing blend of mindfulness, comedy, passive-aggressiveness and irresponsible pet ownership. Rated 'Not so bad, it was a bit warmer yesterday, wasn't it?' on BRIT STORE by Madge, Normanton on Soar. It's time to take some deep, cleansing breaths and write to...
2021-04-14
02 min
carterbloke
Fake BBC Travel
As featured on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. In no other way officially endorsed by the BBC, and a good thing too. Mocking the state broadcaster in this way. Tut! From Simon Carter, the creator / culprit of THE LIFE AND TIMES OF OSSETT FLUSHDYKE and NIGE DIALS IN. Other comedy at https://carterbloke.com.
2021-04-08
02 min
carterbloke
Shufflehampton Confidential #2
From the writer of some other stuff you probably haven’t listened to comes ... SHUFFLEHAMPTON CONFIDENTIAL - THE PARISH COUNCIL MINUTES. Crime, cronyism and crumpets. Just three words beginning with ‘C’ that come up really often at these meetings. ‘Crayons.’ There you are! There’s a fourth. Now, following a Freedom of Information request from a journalist who’s just been found face-down in the river, Cyril Keenly, the Shufflehampton Parish Clerk, has been forced to release uncut versions of some top-secret council memos. These sensational documents lay bare the diabolical inner workings at Shufflehampton, Britain’s most corrupt local council. There w...
2021-02-10
02 min
carterbloke
Shufflehampton Confidential #1
From the writer of some other stuff you probably haven’t listened to comes ... SHUFFLEHAMPTON CONFIDENTIAL - THE PARISH COUNCIL MINUTES. Crime, cronyism and crumpets. Just three words beginning with ‘C’ that come up really often at these meetings. ‘Crayons.’ There you are! There’s a fourth. Now, following a Freedom of Information request from a journalist who’s just been found face-down in the river, Cyril Keenly, the Shufflehampton Parish Clerk, has been forced to release uncut versions of some top-secret council memos. These sensational documents lay bare the diabolical inner workings at Shufflehampton, Britain’s most corrupt local council. There w...
2021-02-06
02 min
carterbloke
15 Ossett Flushdyke - Christmas Special 2020
THE OSSETT FLUSHDYKE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2020 Part 1: The Ossett Flushdyke Christmas Speech It's 1931. King George is poorly so the first ever Christmas radio broadcast to the nation is in jeopardy. Who can His Majesty turn to in his darkest hour? Who can he trust to take his place, with an entire country crying out for comfort and reassurance in times of profound and unprecedented uncertainty? Step forward Master Ossett Flushdyke - national treasure, bungling aristocrat, hapless toff. Parachuted into the palace and hastily escorted to a microphone in the monarch's boudoir, this is what the nation heard on its wirelesses at...
2020-12-01
09 min
carterbloke
Fake Nottingham #2 - Lace Market
FAKE NOTTINGHAM is created, written and performed by Simon Carter. It's a series of short and utterly ridiculous fake histories created for BBC Radio Nottingham. This episode: the legendary Lace Market.
2020-11-07
02 min
carterbloke
Fake Nottingham #1 - Robin Hood
FAKE NOTTINGHAM is created, written and performed by Simon Carter. It's a series of short and utterly ridiculous fake histories created for BBC Radio Nottingham. This episode: Robin Hood.
2020-11-07
01 min
carterbloke
14 Ossett Flushdyke - The Flushdyke Haunting Pt 2
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original BBC production: Chris Baxter and David Lucas (2009). This episode: As a bonkers Cornishman rambles incessantly, Ossett and Jenkins...
2020-10-14
05 min
carterbloke
13 Ossett Flushdyke - The Flushdyke Haunting Pt 1
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original BBC production: Chris Baxter and David Lucas (2009). This episode: As Flushdyke Manor is pummelled by a lethal monsoon...
2020-10-14
05 min
carterbloke
12 Ossett Flushdyke - Flushdyke's Father Pt 2
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original BBC production: Chris Baxter and David Lucas (2009). This episode: Our hero embarks on an exhilarating food fight, copping...
2020-10-14
05 min
carterbloke
11 Ossett Flushdyke - Flushdyke's Father Pt 1
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original BBC production: Chris Baxter and David Lucas (2009). This episode: Ossett’s arch nemesis makes our hero an offer he...
2020-10-14
05 min
carterbloke
10 Ossett Flushdyke - Sir Patrick and the Yeti Pt 2
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original BBC production: Chris Baxter and David Lucas (2009). This episode: Our hero flees a Himalayan bloodbath by hot air...
2020-10-12
05 min
carterbloke
09 Ossett Flushdyke - Sir Patrick and the Yeti Pt 1
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original BBC production: Chris Baxter and David Lucas (2009). This episode: Sir Patrick is halfway up a mountain and in...
2020-10-12
05 min
carterbloke
08 Ossett Flushdyke - From Suffolk With Love Pt 2
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: Deception leads Ossett into a clinch with...
2020-10-11
04 min
carterbloke
07 Ossett Flushdyke - From Suffolk With Love Pt 1
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: Cupid's arrow strikes superspy Ossett in the...
2020-10-10
04 min
carterbloke
06 Ossett Flushdyke - On His Majesty's Suffolk Service
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: Monte Carlo beckons for trainee spy Ossett...
2020-10-10
04 min
carterbloke
05 Ossett Flushdyke - The Minor Swelling Shrieking Naked Cleaver Wielder Pt 2
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: Two of Ossett’s chums perish horribly at...
2020-10-08
04 min
carterbloke
04 Ossett Flushdyke - The Minor Swelling Shrieking Naked Cleaver Wielder Pt 1
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: Ossett is embroiled in a hunt for...
2020-10-05
04 min
carterbloke
03 Ossett Flushdyke - This War Is Great Pt 2
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: Ossett goes over the top despite failing...
2020-10-01
04 min
carterbloke
02 Ossett Flushdyke - This War Is Great Pt 1
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: With little happening in the trenches, Ossett...
2020-10-01
05 min
carterbloke
01 Ossett Flushdyke - In The Beginning
'The Life and Times of Ossett Flushdyke' is a British mini-sitcom created and written by Simon Carter. It follows the dubious globe-trotting escapades of bungling toff Ossett Flushdyke and his long-suffering butler Albert Jenkins. Imagine Jeeves and Wooster, but with stronger medication. This series of podcasts has been specially rebooted for broadcast on Upload, BBC Radio Nottingham. Family friendly, though some content may leave parents with younger children with some explaining to do. 'Guaranteed wet-your-knickers funny. Pure genius.' mevio.com Original production: David Lucas (2001). Re-edited with additional production: Simon Carter (2020). This episode: Ossett goes to fight in the Great...
2020-10-01
04 min