Shows
So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliLet’s Talk About SexAs a couples therapist, Sahaj Kaur Kohli talks about sex all the time with clients. But the truth is, she still struggles to talk about it in her own life. Sahaj and many other children of immigrants grew up with silence, shame, and secrecy around sex and desire. In this episode, Sahaj explores the cultural narratives that shape pleasure and sexuality with kink-affirming, anti-oppressive therapist Kimmy Wu. Listeners also share personal stories of shame and self-discovery in their sex lives. Together, Sahaj and Kimmy offer insights and tips for feeling more liberated in your body, decolonizing your relationship with...2025-07-0341 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliBoundaries, Low Contact, or Estrangement: What’s Right for You?We’ve all heard we need boundaries to protect our peace, but what does that really look like in collectivist cultures? In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli challenges Western ideas of boundaries, unpacks common misconceptions, and explores what it means to go low or no contact with loved ones. We’ll hear real-life stories from people navigating boundary-setting in immigrant families – some successful, some not – and others who’ve ultimately chosen to go no contact. Sahaj also shares practical tips for setting culturally-responsive boundaries, and answers your most pressing questions about estrangement.
Find exclusive bonus content and continu...2025-06-1831 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliWhy Guilt Feels So Heavy — And What to Do About ItDo you feel guilty all the time? Or worry about abandoning where, and who, you come from? You’re not alone! Guilt is one of the main emotions therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli sees adult children of immigrants struggle with. In this episode, Sahaj unpacks the idea of immigrant guilt — how it differs from everyday guilt — and offers practical tools to help you navigate its complexities. She also explains what it really means to “sit with your feelings” (yes, actually), and we hear powerful stories from listeners on emotional suppression, anger, and the conflicting cultural messages they’ve received about how to feel...2025-06-0436 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliIs Duty a Form of Love, or Control?What does duty mean to you? For many of us, especially children of immigrants, duty is complicated. It can look like showing up for loved ones (even when it’s inconvenient), preserving cultural traditions, or fulfilling unspoken expectations. Sometimes duty feels like love, gratitude, and pride. Other times, it carries the weight of pressure, guilt, and grief. In this episode, therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli helps us reflect on what we truly owe our families and communities — and how to navigate duty when it conflicts with our own needs and desires. You’ll hear from listeners whose sense of duty is sha...2025-05-2127 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliIs Your Immigrant Parent a Narcissist?In a recent Brown Girl Therapy poll, 85% of nearly 3,300 respondents said they think their parents are narcissistic. That’s…a lot! In this episode, we dig into why so many children of immigrants resonate with this label, and whether it's the right one. Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and author of High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to break down what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) really is, and what it isn’t. We’ll even hear directly from you about your complicated family dynamics and the impact on your mental health...2025-05-0735 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliIntercultural Relationships: Love or Betrayal?Intercultural and interracial relationships can be rewarding, difficult, messy — or all of the above. In this episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli opens up about her love story as the first in her family to marry outside race, religion, and culture. We also hear deeply personal reflections from other children of immigrants who are navigating love, heartbreak, and identity across cultural and racial lines. Together, we confront hard truths — anti-Blackness, colorism, internalized racism, and community bias — while also celebrating the beauty of bridging and blending cultures. Sahaj will answer your questions on navigating the challenging (and awkward!) parts of dating, like introdu...2025-04-2338 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliBonus: Stop Telling Children of Immigrants to be AuthenticIn this bonus episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down “authenticity” and how harmful — albeit well-meaning — this term can be for children of immigrants and bicultural folks. Instead, she advises on a new way to think about authenticity and “being real” for those straddling and living between cultures. We also hear from one of you on how cultural code switching can feel divisive between the workplace and home due to gender norms.
This is an example of bonus content that will live exclusively in the Substack community Culturally Enough throughout this season.
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Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of t...2025-04-1605 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliOur Family Secrets: What We Hide and Why It MattersFamily secrets can feel like a form of protection, or a source of deep isolation. We uncover the hidden truths and taboos around relationships, health and trauma that shape our immigrant families. We’ll even hear directly from you about discovering family members aren’t biologically related to you, or having to keep child abuse secretive. Therapist and author of Break the Cycle, Dr. Mariel Buqué joins Sahaj Kaur Kohli to unpack the emotional toll of family secrecy, explore if family secrets are a form of intergenerational trauma, and share how we can begin to heal.
Find exclus...2025-04-0935 minSo We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur KohliBetween Cultures: Are You Living A Double Life?Host and therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli has lived a double life as the daughter of Indian immigrants. Like many of you, she grew up walking the line between family expectations, her own needs, and the world outside. Now, she’s an expert in bicultural identity, advice columnist, and published author of But What Will People Say? – and she’s here to help you. We uncover why living between cultures feels a lot like living a double life, and we hear your stories about keeping small things – like hanging out with friends – and big things – like being queer or struggling with alcoholi...2025-04-0938 min
SASSpodMental Health in the South Asian community and beyondLalita du Perron talks to psychiatrist Apurva Bhatt about her Stanford clinic, meeting the needs of adolescents and children with mental health challenges, and attitudes towards mental health in the South Asian community. Intro and outro: Roslyn by Rishab Rikhiram Sharma, creator of Sitar for Mental Health. Many thanks for allowing us to use the music! Find out more at rishabsharma.com. Mental Health Resources:988 - mental health emergencyChild Mind Institute (childmind.org)Brown Girl Therapy/Sahaj Kaur Kohli (sahajkaurkohli.com)Rcoz.us2025-01-2046 min
That's Total Mom SenseREPLAY Sahaj Kaur Kohli: Breaking Cycles and Preserving Mental Health as Second Gen ImmigrantsAs a child of immigrants, do you feel conflicted about your cultural values and your modern day beliefs? Are you navigating what you want to pass on to your kids and what you want to end with you? Today I’m joined by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, my family friend and a celebrated author, therapist, #WashingtonPost columnist, and founder of @browngirltherapy, the first and largest mental health and wellness community organization for children of immigrants. We dive into the principles and strategies discussed in her book, “But What Will People Say?” with Penguin Life to uncover how to take the best f...2024-08-2252 min
Therapy WorksNavigating Bicultural Identity: A Conversation with Sahaj Kaur KohliFor this week’s bonus episode of the Therapy Works Podcast, we’re featuring psychotherapist and founder of Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj Kaur Kohli. In this episode, Sahaj delves into her journey as a daughter of Indian immigrants in the United States, her professional and personal challenges, and the cultural straddling that influences her work with clients. She shares insights on navigating mental health, identity, and transgenerational trauma while discussing her new book, 'But What Will People Say?' and the importance of healing through cultural sensitivity and curiosity. Discover how Sahaj blends her bicultural experience in her therapeutic prac...2024-06-1250 min
The Brave Table with Dr. Neeta Bhushan227: Dr. Sahaj Kohli On Changing Cultural Views on Mental Health Through TherapyHey Brave Table Fam! I’m beyond excited to welcome my dear friend Dr. Sahaj Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy and author of the incredible new book, "What Will People Say?" In this episode, we’re diving deep into the unique social pressures faced by brown women and immigrant families, and exploring why cultural inclusivity in therapy is absolutely essential.
Join us as we open up and share our personal stories, confront our fears and shame, and navigate the intricate dynamics of cultural expectations, family roles, and personal identity. Sahaj sheds light on the transformative power of t...2024-05-221h 06
CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFTSetting Boundaries Within Immigrant Families with Sahaj Kaur KohliThis week on the Calling Home Podcast, Whitney will talk with therapist and author Sahaj Kaur Kohli. They’ll discuss the challenges of setting boundaries and maintaining healthy communication within multi-generational immigrant families. She highlights the pressure that immigrant parents often feel from their own parents, which can lead to rigid expectations and norms being passed down to their children. They will also talk about the importance of partners being on the same page when dealing with in-law dynamics and the need for individuals to manage their expectations of their parents. Fore more information on...2024-05-1444 min
That's Total Mom SenseSahaj Kaur Kohli: Exploring Mental Health Challenges Through the Immigrant ExperienceAs a child of immigrants, do you feel conflicted about your cultural values and your modern day beliefs? Are you navigating what you want to pass on to your kids and what you want to end with you? Today I’m joined by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, my family friend and a celebrated author, therapist, #WashingtonPost columnist, and founder of @browngirltherapy, the first and largest mental health and wellness community organization for children of immigrants. We dive into the principles and strategies discussed in her book, "But What Will People Say?" with Penguin Life to uncover how to take the be...2024-05-0952 min
Asians Do TherapySahaj Kaur Kohli. The Culture BrokerNew podcast episode!In this conversation, I speak with Sahaj Kaur Kohli.We chat about:the re-authoring of her story through writing her bookher hopes and fears surrounding its releasebeing a cultural broker in her family and the shifts in her family dynamics with her parents and siblingsmental health and what it means, differences in mental health education and therapyher therapy journey and challenges of finding a therapist for herself I found Sahaj to be warm, endearing, and transparent about her process and story. You can purchase her book at But What Will Pe...2024-04-3058 min