Shows
These Stories Are Not RealA Spanking Blue DayHi, this is one of my faves. About clouds or something. I'm not really sure what it's about. Maybe you know?
This story first appeared as the excerpt on a t-shirt from my friends at Lossless Goods. Check out Kiran, Kamran, and Tim's work here: https://losslessgoods.com/, or follow them on instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/losslessgoods/.
But also follow ME on instagram you mongrels: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/.
And check out more stories at allmyeggs.substack.com.
2021-12-0810 min
These Stories Are Not RealGod‘s Gift To Touch FootballYou are to division four mixed division inner city lunch time touch football what Federer is to tennis. You. Are. Beautiful.
This weird but fun (!) episode takes place on the touch football field. It's not easy staying down to earth when you're so divinely gifted.
Come back in two weeks for an episode about clouds!
Thanks as always to Helen Wolfenden and Nic Lelli (@nicsketches)for their help making the show.
Find the show on instagram (@thesestoriesarenotreal) or go to allmyeggs.substack.com for more stories from me!
2021-11-2317 min
These Stories Are Not RealRomeo and Juliet JulietBut soft, what blight through yonder breaks? This is the story of one very flawed Romeo and his battle with love, the limelight, and the passage of time.
Thanks as always to Dr Helen Wolfenden and @nicsketches for their help making this podcast what it is. We'll be back in a fortnight for God's Gift to Touch Football. Fun fun fun.
Find the show on instagram, and more stories at allmyeggs.substack.com.
2021-11-0917 min
These Stories Are Not RealMatty Kidman Waits Maybe ForeverThese Stories Are Not Real is back with this haunting semi-true story about what it was like to have job interviews, good grief.
Thanks as always to Dr Helen Wolfenden and @nicsketches for their help making this podcast what it is. We'll be back in a fortnight for Romeo and Juliet Juliet. That's not a typo. It's a teaser.
2021-10-2613 min
These Stories Are Not RealSeason 3 Trailer!These Stories Are Not Real returns in all its... ummm... glory (?) on the 27th of October. Okay there won't be much glory. But it will return! Find @thesestoriesarenotreal on instagram for more! And visit allmyeggs.substack.com for the inside scoop.
2021-10-0600 min
These Stories Are Not RealNever Trust A Genie (Duh)The last short and sweet ep. I really have to dust my room more. Thanks for listening. Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.comSend an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.comMore of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allmyeggs.substack.com2021-03-1606 min
These Stories Are Not RealNever Trust A Genie (Duh)The last short and sweet ep. I really have to dust my room more. Thanks for listening.
Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/
Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com
Send an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com
More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/
2021-03-1606 min
These Stories Are Not RealWhen The Bluetooth Isn't WorkingSometimes technology refuses to comply. The internet is slow, printers do no print, and the car bluetooth shits itself under pressure. When the CD's are bad, the only alternative is to, oh god, listen to, jeez, you've gotta listen to, I can't even say it, ugh, the radio. This is what it sounds like. Swear to god. --Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.comSend an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com...2021-03-0908 min
These Stories Are Not RealWhen The Bluetooth Isn't WorkingSometimes technology refuses to comply. The internet is slow, printers do no print, and the car bluetooth shits itself under pressure. When the CD's are bad, the only alternative is to, oh god, listen to, jeez, you've gotta listen to, I can't even say it, ugh, the radio. This is what it sounds like. Swear to god.
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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/
Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com
Send an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com
More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/
2021-03-0908 min
These Stories Are Not RealGovernment Sanctioned Prank CallThis was a weird one... --Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.comSend an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.comMore of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allmyeggs.substack.com2021-03-0204 min
These Stories Are Not RealGovernment Sanctioned Prank CallThis was a weird one...
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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/
Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com
Send an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com
More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/
2021-03-0204 min
These Stories Are Not RealYour Polarised Sunglasses Won't Save You NowIt's a very, very bright day, and it's only getting brighter. What would you do?
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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/
Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com
Send an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com
More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/
2021-02-2304 min
These Stories Are Not RealYour Polarised Sunglasses Won't Save You NowIt's a very, very bright day, and it's only getting brighter. What would you do? --Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.comSend an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.comMore of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit allmyeggs.substack.com2021-02-2304 min
These Stories Are Not RealMan vs Google HomeYou've heard of Man vs Wild, now, prepare to hear Man vs Google Home. Man also versus himself. And his own cosmic insignificance. And pointlessness. And Coldplay. It's a riot.
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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/
Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com
Send an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com
More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/
2021-02-1603 min
These Stories Are Not RealMan vs Google HomeYou've heard of Man vs Wild, now, prepare to hear Man vs Google Home. Man also versus himself. And his own cosmic insignificance. And pointlessness. And Coldplay. It's a riot. --Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.comSend an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.comMore of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or...2021-02-1603 min
These Stories Are Not RealElevator LoveWelcome to the *fun* interim season of These Stories Are Not Real! Some real short episodes for you to enjoy and share!
Elevator Love speaks for itself. It was inspired by the Guy Sebastian song, yes. Thank you.
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Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/
Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com
Send an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com
More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/
2021-02-0903 min
These Stories Are Not RealElevator LoveWelcome to the *fun* interim season of These Stories Are Not Real! Some real short episodes for you to enjoy and share! Elevator Love speaks for itself. It was inspired by the Guy Sebastian song, yes. Thank you. --Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.comSend an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.comMore of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/ T...2021-02-0903 min
Mike Williams: 100 in 24Angus Macdonald and 'These stories are not real'Gus Macdonald thinks his parents might have named him while walking through a Scottish graveyard. Anyway, Gus has a new podcast, 'These stories are not real'. As well as sharing an episode, he reveals some of the methods behind his creative writing process. Credits Guest: Angus Macdonald Listen to more episodes of These stories are not real: https://podfollow.com/1539828146 These stories are not real website: https://thesestoriesarenotreal.com/ Follow These stories are not real on insta: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/ Contact MikeTwitter: https://twi...2021-01-1840 min
These Stories Are Not RealTake The Money'And there are three voices in your head. Yes. No. And me, who is of course really just you but, you know, semantics.'
Take the Money is an at-times self-involved and convoluted Season Finale, featuring a bag of money and some very external internal conflict. Always listen to the 'Yes' voice, I reckon. It's the one with the fireworks.
Thanks so much for listening to any episode of the show. Thanks as always to consulting producer Helen Wolfenden and resident artist Nic Lelli (@nicsketches on instagram)
I hope to speak to you s...2021-01-0517 min
These Stories Are Not RealTake The Money'And there are three voices in your head. Yes. No. And me, who is of course really just you but, you know, semantics.'Take the Money is an at-times self-involved and convoluted Season Finale, featuring a bag of money and some very external internal conflict. Always listen to the 'Yes' voice, I reckon. It's the one with the fireworks. Thanks so much for listening to any episode of the show. Thanks as always to consulting producer Helen Wolfenden and resident artist Nic Lelli (@nicsketches on instagram)I...2021-01-0517 min
These Stories Are Not RealDead Man Floating'It's the airlock, thought Daniel. It's always the airlock.'
Sci-fi nerd Daniel Sky floats towards an inevitable and agonising death, and the Astronaut Adrift undergoes four strange stages of being en route to his final breath. But it's much funner than it sounds. There's even a Chewbacca sound effect.
Only one episodes to go in season one of These Stories Are Not Real! Be sure to participate in the Listener Reward Scheme to win all kinds of prizes—details are on Instagram and the website. And lol have a happy new year.
Tha...2020-12-2917 min
These Stories Are Not RealDead Man Floating'It's the airlock, thought Daniel. It's always the airlock.'Sci-fi nerd Daniel Sky floats towards an inevitable and agonising death, and the Astronaut Adrift undergoes four strange stages of being en route to his final breath. But it's much funner than it sounds. There's even a Chewbacca sound effect.Only one episodes to go in season one of These Stories Are Not Real! Be sure to participate in the Listener Reward Scheme to win all kinds of prizes—details are on Instagram and the website. And lol have a happy ne...2020-12-2917 min
These Stories Are Not RealAround The World For Barbara Ann'Electric curly hair, eyes like blue milk. I looked at her through the rain and thought, "Yeah. It would be nice."'
Brian is, well, he's a chump. This is his first-person account of being swindled by a travel agent in a regional town, who somehow fuses herself with the Beach Boys greatest hits to bamboozle with great effect.
Only two episodes to go after this in season one! Be sure to participate in the Listener Reward Scheme to win all kinds of prizes—details are on Instagram and the website.
And have a h...2020-12-2220 min
These Stories Are Not RealAround The World For Barbara Ann'Electric curly hair, eyes like blue milk. I looked at her through the rain and thought, "Yeah. It would be nice."'Brian is, well, he's a chump. This is his first-person account of being swindled by a travel agent in a regional town, who somehow fuses herself with the Beach Boys greatest hits to bamboozle with great effect. Only two episodes to go after this in season one! Be sure to participate in the Listener Reward Scheme to win all kinds of prizes—details are on Instagram and the website.2020-12-2220 min
These Stories Are Not RealRisky Rosie Nutcase'It felt like she was finally at the fun end of a kite. Like running, swimming and carnival rides all rolled into one.'
Risky Rosie nutcase is stuck to a world that does not get her, and does not like her, so she does what any diligent, big-thinking, young dream will do. She teaches herself to fly. It’s not so crazy. People teach themselves to swim, don’t they?
Be sure to check out the show's instagram to learn more about the Listener Rewards Scheme and win Prizes Prizes Prizes.
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2020-12-1516 min
These Stories Are Not RealRisky Rosie Nutcase'It felt like she was finally at the fun end of a kite. Like running, swimming and carnival rides all rolled into one.'Risky Rosie nutcase is stuck to a world that does not get her, and does not like her, so she does what any diligent, big-thinking, young dream will do. She teaches herself to fly. It’s not so crazy. People teach themselves to swim, don’t they?Be sure to check out the show's instagram to learn more about the Listener Rewards Scheme and win Prizes Prizes Priz...2020-12-1516 min
These Stories Are Not RealJ.Doe_MurderofK.C._Ass1_3pmtute'But a regular brush can't beat a wand. Nothing beats a wand! Except for maybe an easel. Fired at close range. But we'll get to that.'
Herein lies an occasionally depraved but largely whimsical first-person account of the gruesome murder of Kevin Cassidy. There's a homicide, an artistic showdown, and rainbow electricity. We get what we get and we don't get upset.
Thanks as always to consulting producer Dr Helen Wolfenden, and @Nicsketches for the artwork.
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Get in contact with the show to enter the Prize Pool as part o...2020-12-0819 min
These Stories Are Not RealJ.Doe_MurderofK.C._Ass1_3pmtute'But a regular brush can't beat a wand. Nothing beats a wand! Except for maybe an easel. Fired at close range. But we'll get to that.'Herein lies an occasionally depraved but largely whimsical first-person account of the gruesome murder of Kevin Cassidy. There's a homicide, an artistic showdown, and rainbow electricity. We get what we get and we don't get upset. Thanks as always to consulting producer Dr Helen Wolfenden, and @Nicsketches for the artwork.---Get in c...2020-12-0819 min
These Stories Are Not RealElephant in the Waterslide‘There are two things you need to know from the beginning. First, Billy Everest has never, ever said a word. And second, sometimes waterslides are as dangerous as they look.’
Elephant in the Waterslide is the first ever episode of These Stories Are Not Real. Written in early 2018, re-written in early 2019, totally ignored for a full calendar year, and then hurriedly revisited in October, Elephant in the Waterslide is a story about danger, punks and brain magic.
A version of this story will appear on FBi radio's ‘All the Best’ anthology.
Thanks as always to...2020-12-0115 min
These Stories Are Not RealElephant in the Waterslide‘There are two things you need to know from the beginning. First, Billy Everest has never, ever said a word. And second, sometimes waterslides are as dangerous as they look.’Elephant in the Waterslide is the first ever episode of These Stories Are Not Real. Written in early 2018, re-written in early 2019, totally ignored for a full calendar year, and then hurriedly revisited in October, Elephant in the Waterslide is a story about danger, punks and brain magic.A version of this story will appear on FBi radio's ‘All the Best’ anthology.2020-12-0115 min
These Stories Are Not RealTrailerJust a little sniff, a tiny taste, a modest minute, of what is to come on These Stories Are Not Real. - - - Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.comSend an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.comMore of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit al...2020-11-1100 min
These Stories Are Not RealTrailerJust a little sniff, a tiny taste, a modest minute, of what is to come on These Stories Are Not Real.
- - -
Follow the show on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesestoriesarenotreal/
Visit the website: www.thesestoriesarenotreal.com
Send an email: thesestoriesarenotreal@gmail.com
More of my writing: https://allmyeggs.substack.com/
2020-11-1100 min