Shows
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating116. The Most Self-Pitying Messages from CheatersIt's a common manipulation tactic for unfaithful partners to lead with self pity. Hey, their infidelity was hard on them too. Actually, harder really. In this episode, Tracy and Sarah respond to your sad sausage submissions. What happens when self-pity meets a blithering lack of self-awareness? Will you rescue them from the affliction of their own choices?
2026-02-1721 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating115. Sane Parenting: An Interview with Kirk MartinIn this episode, Tracy talks with Kirk Martin, the creator of the Calm Parenting podcast which covers the power struggles between kids and parents and outlines strategies to help. Kirk is a compassionate observer of the unjust financial and emotional burdens single parents face. During his childhood in the 1970s, Kirk's mother left his abusive father and raised four boys on her own. We talk about her legacy in his life and then Kirk weighs in with his calm parent approach to listener questions.
2026-02-1043 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating114. A Tribute to Sylvia, Sarah's MumWhen Sarah's then-husband walked out for his affair partner, her mother was her rock for the next 14 years. She helped Sarah raise the children, and was her biggest supporter. In this episode, Tracy and Sarah talk about their infidelity angels, the people who got them through. Sylvia passed away in December. Sarah was her caregiver until the end. Love is all about showing up.
2026-02-0328 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating113. Are Mistresses Unfairly Shamed?Tracy and Sarah react to a letter at ChumpLady.com from a mistress asking Tracy to please inform her boyfriend's wife about their affair. (That was a hard pass no.) And they discuss an article in the New York Times on the "ritual shaming" of the Other Woman. Was Kristin Cabot, of Cold Play concert Jumbotron fame unduly held to account for infidelity in a way her boss was not?
2026-01-2716 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating112. 'If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets': An Interview with Virginia DeLucaTracy talks with therapist, Virginia DeLuca, author of "If You Must Go, I Wish You Triplets," a candid, funny, and emotionally rich memoir about divorce and reinvention in her 60s. After 14 years, her husband suddenly abandoned their marriage, explaining that he wanted children. Unbeknownst to DeLuca, there was another, much younger, woman, of course. She published her debut memoir at 72, proving it's never too late to tell your story or rebuild your life after infidelity.
2026-01-2029 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating108. Why Women's Pain Matters -- Tracy and the Happy Hausfrau Discuss the Epstein ScandalRep. Clay Higgins of Louisiana voted not to release the Epstein files. He was the only dissenting vote. Reportedly, he also owes over $140,000 in back child support to one of his ex-wives. (He's on his fourth wife.) Tracy and guest host Jenny of the Happy Hausfrau blog -- two women owed thousands in back child support -- discuss the Epstein scandal. The f*ckwits involved, the power dynamics, and why women's pain matters.
2025-12-0223 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating107. Things You Will Not Miss About Your ExThe holidays are coming and it's a good time to remember all the things you do not (or will not) miss about your cheating ex. We hear about puppets in church, obnoxious sneezing, and hair powder. Horrific hygiene and rage driving. Bizarre hobbies and bad attitudes. Sound engineer Beowulf does his best dramatic Grinchy Thurl Ravenscroft voice to read the list. Sarah and Tracy react in horror. Thank god, no more taxidermy.
2025-11-1930 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating105. A Story of Actual Sister Wives and Other Polyamory FlopsTracy and Sarah react to your polyamory experiments. The open marriage stories keep coming... In this episode we hear about a man with two sister wives. (Literally). A polyamorous marriage that was one-sided, while he tomcatted around and left her with the kids. And a therapist who helps other people negotiate ethical non-monogamy while was unbeknownst married to a guy who practiced it unethically.
2025-11-0416 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating102. Life-Saving Divorce: An Interview with Gretchen BaskervilleTracy interviews Gretchen Baskerville author of the book and blog "Life-Saving Divorce." Gretchen has been a visible critic of the "Reconciliation Industrial Complex" and Christian evangelical marriage retreats in particular. She's followed up with participants of expensive marriage intensives and found 7 in 10 later divorced or separated within the year. A stark contrast to the "your marriage can be saved in a WEEK" promotionals. Tracy and Gretchen discuss the victim-blaming and spiritual abuse surrounding divorce and the resources that focus on shaming people, especially women, into staying married all at costs.
2025-10-1446 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating101. Open Marriage Skepticism A recent news article discussed the increase in popularity of polyamory as an option on dating sites, while contrasting it with real life TV shows featuring polyamorous relationships, like Sister Wives, where the arrangement collapsed and they defaulted to monogamy. Sarah and Tracy compare notes on the impracticality of multiple sex partners in our middle-aged, busy lives. And also how "open marriage" is often on offer after you find out you were in one, but were the last to know.
2025-10-0716 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating100. Could Your Cheater Have a Personality Disorder? An Interview with Dr. Peter SalernoTracy talks with pyschologist Dr. Peter Salerno about the intersection of infidelity and personality disorders. A lot of conventional therapy assumes that clients lack insight into their behavior and that antisocial behavior is the result of childhood trauma. Dr. Salerno argues that this approach ignores the behavioral science of personality disorders. Manipulation, deception, and a pathological lack of remorse are hallmarks of narcissism and sociopathy and these abusive acts are intentional. And to a certain extent, even hard-wired. How does this science challenge the victim-blaming narratives around infidelity? Could the serial cheater, family abandoner, or deadbeat parent h...
2025-09-0941 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating99. How Do You Define Cheating?Chump Nation came up in an NPR discussion about how to define cheating. Unfortunately, the commentators seemed to have no lived experience or deep sunk costs with a cheater. The conversation centered on rejections like your boyfriend making out with someone else. Guest host Jenny the Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy defend the position that infidelity is a form of abuse and debunk the romanticism of cheating. You can hear the original discussion at NPR here: What Really Counts As Cheating?
2025-08-2635 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating97. How Was Your Cheater Exposed?Sarah and Tracy hear from listeners about how their cheaters' affairs were exposed. (None of them by Jumbotron, alas.) Some affair partners outed the relationships to win the pick-me dance. In other cases, technology mishaps led to discovery. (Why don't these people learn how devices synch?) It's painful however you find out, but it's better to know than waster another minute being duped.
2025-08-1225 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating96. When Affair Partners MarryGuest cohost Jenny aka The Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy discuss the Bezo wedding extravangaza and what happens when affair partners marry. We hear from listeners about Schmoopie nupitals and what marriage means to the monogamy challenged.
2025-08-0526 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating94. Are AI Girlfriends Cheating? The ChatGPT SchmoopieGuest co-host Jenny aka the Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy snark about the guy who proposed marriage to his ChatGPT girlfriend, but not his live-in girlfriend and mother of his child. Are ChatGPT paramours the new frontier in AI cheating? How narcissistic is it to have a programmable girlfriend?
2025-07-2213 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating91. Reconciliation and the Dave Grohl Baby Mama DramaIn this episode Tracy gives her take on the news that Dave Grohl and his wife Jordyn Blum have decided to reconcile. While Grohl simultaneously has committed himself to being a "hands on" father with his daughter by his affair partner. Could we please change the discourse that single parents aren't family enough? And stop the assumption that everyone needs the FW in their lives? Just cash the check and live your own life.
2025-06-1716 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating90. Her Husband Swears He Isn't Gay, He Just Cheats with MenTracy and Sarah respond to a listener's dilemma about her husband. He's cheating with men, but swears he's not gay. She's trying to get him into sex addiction therapy. Also, a Fuckwit of the Week submission -- exotic vacations discoveries to which you weren't invited.
2025-06-1015 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating89. Should You Tell the Children About the Affair?In this episode, we react to an atrocious column in the New York Times by therapist Lori Gottlieb, where a woman asks if she should be honest with her children about their father's cheating and the resulting divorce. Gottlieb shames the woman for even considering speaking of her betrayal and defers to the man's narrative instead. (You drove him to it.) Sarah and Tracy weigh in.
2025-06-0325 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating88. Stupid Cheater Life PlansDid you thwart a cheater's happiness? Are you the obstacle to their greatness? In this episode Tracy and Sarah explore stupid cheater life plans. The grass is always greener on the other side of whatever they committed to. Including you. Listeners share the impulsive schemes and dreams, the alpaca farm, the missionary job that wasn't, and the lost opportunity to be a kiteboarder.
2025-05-2832 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating85. Sexually Deceptive People -- An Interview with Dr. Omar MinwallaIn this re-edited version of an earlier recording, Sarah and Tracy spoke with Dr. Omar Minwalla, a therapist who is known for his work "The Secret Sexual Basement." He sees infidelity as abusive and a sexual deception problem, which makes him something of an outlier in the therapy community. We talk about his model, infidelity as abuse, and how to change the narrative with mental health professionals.
2025-05-0648 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating84. Affair Proofing Your Marriage and Andrew G. MarshallIn this re-edited version of an early broadcast, Tracy and Sarah challenge therapist Andrew G. Marshall on his promise that marriages can be affair-proofed. Did he say that? Was he taken out of context when he told women that they must apologize to their unfaithful husbands?
2025-04-2942 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating83. The Weirdest Things Cheaters Wanted in the Divorce or Breakup In this episode we hear about all the imponderable things cheaters wanted in the breakup. Not real estate, or children, or sentimental items. But weird stuff, like flooring tiles they'll never use. Or that book on West Virginia coal mining. Or your grandmother's dining room set. Is it spite? Are they clueless? Tracy and Sarah react to your many submissions.
2025-04-2234 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating82. The Jesus Cheater Who Thought She'd "Fight" for HimIn this short episode, Tracy and Sarah respond to a letter from a woman who's husband was astounded that after decades of marriage she left him. He was a church deacon, a Jesus cheater, with a double life. As she left, he told her "I thought you'd fight harder for me."
2025-04-1808 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating80. Random Acts of KindnessWe asked listeners -- what random act of kindness moved you after you were chumped? Tracy tells about her mysterious breakfast benefactor and Sarah shares a story about the time her car broke down. We hear about infidelity angels and kind strangers who appeared at just the right time with encouragement and support. A departure from the usual look at bad actors, this week we celebrate good people.
2025-04-0129 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating79. Does My Husband Have Another Wife?Tracy and Sarah answer your letters including one from a woman who discovered her husband was telling people online that she was dead and referred to another woman and their child as "wife and daughter." Is this a game to him? Is he cheating? Or is this guy a sociopath? Another listener wonders what chumps would do differently if they knew about the cheating sooner.
2025-03-2415 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating75. Cheater Non-Apology Apologies"I'm sorry, but you didn't like octopus," is among the more ridiculous apologies a cheater has given for being unfaithful. In this episode, Tracy and Sarah react to your submissions for lamest non-apology apologies you received. The sad sausages for whom this hurts them too, more really. Those whose only crime was wanting happiness, and how can you fault happiness? To the clueless ones who didn't realize cheating would hurt you. That wasn't their intention! So sorry (not sorry)!
2025-02-1129 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating74. How to Be a Supportive Friend to Someone Who Was Cheated OnSarah and Tracy answer a letter from a listener wondering how she can be a supportive friend to someone who is in an abusive marriage with a cheater. When should you worry about your own personal safety, or call child services? Is there anything you can do beyond standing by and listening?
2025-02-0421 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating73. Coercive Controllers -- An Interview with Dr. Emma KatzTracy talks with domestic violence researcher Dr. Emma Katz about her book, "Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives." Many recognize violent behavior as transgressive, but more common abuse tactics fall under coercive control -- intimidatation, humiliation, isolation. The abuser's goal is to preserve their entitlement by breaking down their victim/partner's emotional state to greater depths of vulnerability and dependence. Dr. Katz's book, published by Oxford University Press, is the first child-centric exploration of this topic. She discusses not only the damange abuser's can do, but also – most importantly – how people have broken free and their mighty...
2025-01-2854 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating72. She's 7 Months Pregnant and Caught Her Husband SextingSarah and Tracy respond to a letter from a woman who discovered her husband is sexting and on dating site while she is 7 months pregnant. She thinks he has an addiction to the validation, but still loves her. It's just that he starts cheating and gets checked out. Should she move in with her parents? She wants to know how she can be mighty now, when she feels very vulnerable.
2025-01-2123 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating71. Why Can't I Leave Him?Tracy responds to a woman, Beth, who writes in to say she can't seem to leave her partner even though she's deeply unhappy. She has shady, circumstantial evidence of cheating, but hasn't caught him. But meanwhile he's inappropriate with other women and has a porn addiction. She's not financially dependent on him, so what exactly is keeping her stuck?
2025-01-0215 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating70. Holiday Traditions You Don't MissSarah and Tracy learn what holiday traditions you don't miss from your cheating exes. From obnoxious mother-in-law gifted decor, to the ex who threw a fully lit Christmas tree in a fit of rage. What are you thrilled to no longer live with and what new traditions did you replace the old ones with?
2024-12-3131 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating69. Stupid Things People Say When You've Been Cheated OnPeople say the most insensitive things when they learn you've been cheated on. Everything from the cliched "It takes two to tango" or "No one knows what goes on in a marriage" to the straight-up victim blaming of "you didn't give him enough sex." Or the self-congratulation of "I'm glad my husband would never cheat on me." Tracy and Sarah react to your gobsmacking submissions.
2024-12-2440 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating68. Holiday Cheater StoriesIt's time again for your holiday cheater stories. The terrible gifts, the discoveries, the yuletide double lives... Tracy and Sarah react to your FW tales. Go into the new year knowing -- you are so much better off without these freaks in your life.
2024-12-1741 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating65. The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards: An Interview with Jessica WaiteAfter Jessica Waite's husband suddenly died of a heart attack, she discovered the extent of his double life -- long-term affairs, prostitutes, debt and drug use. In her memoir, "The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards" she describes how she survived this devastating betrayal, came to terms with her late husband's memory, raised their son alone, and rebuilt her life. She discusses with Tracy how she decided to not keep his secrets and voiced her own truth instead.
2024-11-2644 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating64. 10 Ways to Cope When Jerks WinTracy, as Chump Lady, has made quite a study of overcoming oppressive jerks. In this recorded pep talk, she expands on a recent blog post she wrote on how to eat the shit sandwich of injustice and keep on going.
2024-11-1918 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating63. What Did You Replace Your Cheater With?A woman writes to say she swapped her cheating husband for a Roomba. Her new appliance vacuums, never gaslights her, and comes back to its home port every night. We asked: What did you replace your cheater with? We've got upgrades of every kind. And cats. A lot of cats.
2024-11-1228 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating62. How Did You Discover the Cheating?Listeners discuss how they discovered their partners were cheating. From putting spy apps on a phone, to the idiot who forgot the Ring camera was recording, to the cheater who inadvertently alerted the private investigator to what car his Schmoopie drives. Sarah and Tracy react to the cheater hijinks and how cheaters underestimate their chumps.
2024-10-2950 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating61. 'Cheating Is Abuse,' An Interview with Nell HudsonTracy talks with writer and actress Nell Hudson about her eight-year relationship with a man who had a double life -- which she discovered on their anniversary. What he excused as another woman's infatuation with him, turned out to be an entire history of serial cheating with multiple partners. Tracy and Nell discuss the cultural narratives around infidelity, why we don't call it abuse, and what it means to be a feminist and a chump.
2024-10-221h 01Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating60. What If You Can't Escape the Affair Partner?In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to a letter from a woman who lives in the same small town as her ex and the affair partner -- her former friend. Worse, she has to interact with this person at her job. What's the answer? Move away or learn how to coexist? We also hear from two listeners, one with a red flag story on lying, and a mighty single dad who's crushing the sane parenting gig.
2024-10-1524 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating59. Red Flags of CheatingThe furtive bathroom visits with the cell phone, strange moods, and bizzare accusations that you're cheating -- in this episode we look at all the red flags that you're with a cheater. Hindsight is 20/20, but when you look back, what were the signs?
2024-10-0837 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating58. Did Anyone Get Pregnant During the Affair?In this episode, we discuss the intersection of pregnancy and infidelity. The mistresses who got pregnant. The chumps who got cheated on while pregnant, or going through fertility treatments. The guy chumps who had to paternity test their kids. The "OMG I think I'm pregnant" Hail Mary play by mistresses to win the pick me dance. How children of affairs navigate the complicated stories of their parents. DNA surprises, half-siblings. We get into all the messiness of FWs who reproduce.
2024-10-0130 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating57. Who Else Did You Lose in the Divorce/Breakup?When you lost a cheater, who else did you lose in the breakup? People often think infidelity is just a private matter between a couple, and not a larger conspiracy, as it often turns out to be. In the end, you may lose "friends" who were affair partners, those who knew and didn't tell you, and the Switzerland folks who don't want to take sides. Listeners share their stories of who they lost, who they culled, and who they don't miss.
2024-09-2439 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating56. Should You Confront an Affair Partner?A woman writes in to Tracy and Sarah after suspecting that her best friend has been cheating with her now ex-husband. This friend has been cagey, unsupportive, and just admitted that she's been a cheater before. The letter writer wants to confront her friend about her behavior, but should she? Would it be better to ghost her instead? Or let it blow over?
2024-09-1724 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating55. Cheating Tropes and How to Defang ThemWith the recent buzz about Chump Nation in the New Yorker and the Cut, Tracy takes on the haters. Consider it a teaching opportunity. Here's three common infidelity tropes and how to defang them: Bothsiderism (What did you do to make them cheat?); Infidelity is complex (You're a black and white thinker); and Quit Playing the Victim (You're too bitter and emotional).
2024-09-1020 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating54. The Walls In Your House Will SingTracy talks with her 83-year old Aunt Joy about what it was like to divorce a cheater in the 1970s. A time when women couldn't get credit without their husbands' signatures, had no workplace protections, and being a single mother was considered a personal failure. Aunt Joy is famous on the Chump Lady blog for the expression "the walls in your house will sing" -- that feeling of freedom and relief when you get a toxic person out of your life. Aunt Joy shares how she rebuilt, married a fellow chump, raised a blended family, became a caregiver for 14...
2024-09-0353 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating53. Those Who Didn't 'Stay Together for the Children'We hear from listeners who didn't stay together for the children (or weren't able to, because one parent abandoned ship), and who raised children on their own. Despite the single parent doom and gloom warnings, the kids turned out great and homelife is peaceful. If you're in the trenches of single parenting, this episode is for you. Take it from two single moms -- (Tracy formerly, Sarah presently) -- you've got this.
2024-08-2746 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating52. D-Day Two Months After the WeddingShe got married two months ago, only to discover her new husband has been cheating with his colleague -- her friend. He wants to go to Italy with the Other Woman to "explore his feelings" and wants her to wait for him. Instead, she moved out and remains heartbroken. "How can someone you love treat you this way?" Tracy and Sarah react to this guy's mindfuckery and entitlement. And the treachery of the OW.
2024-08-2029 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating51. Stupid Things Cheaters Say, Part 2So many stupid things cheaters say, it warranted a second podcast of your submissions. The Other Woman who is "rooting" for the chump's marriage. The introspective cheater who sighs, "I just don't know how to love..." The minimization of "Hey, I'm not an axe murderer." All the stupid right here. Again.
2024-08-1338 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating50. Stupid Things Cheaters SayCheaters say the darndest things. In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your Stupid Sh*t Cheaters Say submissions. The suggestion that you would like the affair partner if you only knew them. The sad sausage bleatings. The cruelty of your consequences. How could you?!
2024-08-0631 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating49. How Did You Pick Me Dance to Win a Cheater?How pretty did you pick me dance to win a cheater? Did you lose weight? Up your sex game? Spend less time with the children? Were you aware you were in a life or death pick me spiral with Schmoopie, or did you sense it? In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your pick me dance stories shared on voicemail and social media. (We picked you!)
2024-07-2333 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating48. Fesshole Cheater Confessions: An Interview with Rob ManuelRob Manuel is the creator of the social media phenomenon FessHole, where people anonymously share their darkest, most mortifying secrets. In this episode, Rob's curated his best cheater (and wannabe cheater) confessions. The dead bedroom cheaters. The woman who wants someone to come clean her house. The guy who wants his partner to cheat on him because he's too gutless to dump his girlfriend honestly. Sarah and Tracy weigh in. Need more secrets? Check out Fesshole The Podcast.
2024-07-111h 07Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating47. A Cheater Asks for AdviceA self-professed cheater leaves Sarah and Tracy a voicemail asking how he can make amends for being unfaithful. He doesn't wish to reconcile -- they're going to divorce. But how can he rehabilitate his image going forward as co-parents. Tracy offers some thoughts on how to kick the entitlement habit and Sarah provides the sobering, yet friendly, cynicism that this advice probably will not be followed.
2024-07-0914 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating46. Liars: An Interview with Sarah MangusoSarah Manguso has written the ultimate chump novel: Liars. Jane is a woman who endures marriage to, and divorce from, a textbook fuckwit. It dramatizes marital betrayal, narcissistic abuse, and coercive control in a way we all know deep in our bones. Manguso says, "It's a novel, so of course it's all fiction—except for the parts that are true." During the pandemic, Manguso's cheating husband abandoned her and their son. It became fodder for Liars. She the author of nine books, most recently the novel Very Cold People. Liars, is forthcoming on July...
2024-07-0250 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating45. I Should've Left When...Was there a moment in your relationship, before you knew about the cheating, in which you look back and regret not leaving then? In this episode, listeners answer that question. The casual cruelities. The weird absences. The disconnect from family life. And the double lives that are later revealed that make sense of it all.
2024-06-2543 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating44. "It's Not the Sex, It's the Deception" - The Untold Stories of the Ashley Madison DocumentaryJake and Christine saw an announcement on the Chump Lady site for people who were impacted by the Ashely Madison hack scandal. The were both filmed for the Netflix documentary, but their stories of leaving cheaters and overcoming betrayal were not included. Jake's wife had multiple affairs on the site, and he found out when one of the affair partners contacted him. Christine discovered her boyfriend's double life and then catfished him on the dating site. These are their stories. The ones that don't end in reconciliation.
2024-06-181h 22Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating43. Sarah's Take on the Ashley Madison Netflix DocumentaryFollowing up from last week's episode, Sarah weighs in on her observations (and revulsions) on the Ashley Madison Neflix series. Is it possible this many serial cheaters exist? Does that guy in the pink flamingo shirt sunning himself by the poolside have any conscience? Is Noel Biderman's wife a chump or an accomplice? It's a deep vein of snark and commentary.
2024-06-1138 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating42. What the Ashley Madison Netflix Document Gets WrongThe new Netflix docuseries on the Ashley Madison hack purports to look at the complexities around infidelity. Instead, it's the same old message about reconciliaton and not judging cheaters for their sexuality. Deception -- as experienced by chumps, not Noel Biderman -- is left out of the discussion. Tracy Schorn, aka Chump Lady, riffs on the characters and missed opportunities to have a fuller conversation.
2024-06-0429 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating41. What Did They Do For the Affair Partner That They Didn't Do for You?In this episode we discuss how cheaters devalue their partners while simulataneously love bombing their affair partners. Listeners share stories of what their cheaters did for Schmoopies, but not them or their children. From little gestures like cooking dinner or holding hands, to outrageous injustices like stiffing your kids thousands in back child support while paying for private school for the new family -- it's an exercise in trust that they suck.
2024-05-2831 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating40. Worst Cheater GiftsA discounted chocolate Easter egg for a 13-year-old's birthday... weeks past Easter. American-flag themed polar fleece. The same gift the Other Woman got, only in the wrong size. In this episode Tracy and Sarah lampoon the Worst Cheater Gifts. Narcissists aren't known for their gift giving, as demonstrated by listeners' submissions of the most thoughtless and tasteless presents ever. The thought did not count.
2024-05-1434 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating39. Cheated On and Stranded Overseas: The Expat Chump ExperienceComedian Kat moved to the UK for love over 20 years ago. Then her husband left her for his old girlfriend -- who she thought was a family friend. The kids all go to school together. Now she's divorced and stuck in her adopted home country and can't leave because of the divorce and co-parenting arrangement. And she sees the Other Woman every time she does school pickups. How do you find the humor in that?
2024-05-0742 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating38. One Moms Battle Divorcing a Narcissist: An Interview with Tina SwithinIn this episode we talk with blogger/activist Tina Swithin of One Mom's Battle. Tina acted as her own attorney in a high-conflict custody battle that turned her family's life upside down for over a decade. While divorces are never easy, Tina quickly learned that a divorce involving a narcissist takes the term, "high-conflict" to a level that few can comprehend.
2024-04-3047 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating37. What If You Forgive a Cheater and They Do It Again?Tracy and Sarah discuss the common, if depressing, problem of forgiveness and multiple D-Days. What does forgiveness mean? Is it essential to get over betrayal? Or can you move on quite fine without it? And how do you fend off forgiveness trolls -- the sorts who insist on forgiveness before you've even processed the offense?
2024-04-2335 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating36. Schmoopie Karma StoriesWhat happens when cheater true love goes splat? In this episode, we feature your Schmoopie stories of comeuppance and karmic reckonings. Like the tree that fell on the BMW. A biblical flood. A clever dragnet and the mistress laws of Thailand. If you're moving on from infidelity, the goal is indifference toward your ex, but sometimes you want to shoot that sweet schadenfreude straight into your veins. This is that episode.
2024-04-1636 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating35. Co-Parenting with the Other WomanSarah and Tracy react to an article chiding mothers to get along with former affair partners, now wives, for the sake of the children. It goes beyond coparenting, and encourages friendship and socializing with your ex. Much skepticism ensues. Especially from Sarah who has lived experience of this particular dilemma.
2024-03-2630 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating34. Ask Chump Lady AnythingEver wonder about the life of an infidelity advice columnist? This episode is an Ask Chump Lady Anything where Tracy Schorn takes your questions. How often do mistresses contact you? How soon do you tell someone you're dating you were once cheated on? Is too much chemistry a red flag?
2024-03-1926 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating33. The Infidelity Professor and His SHICRET NonsenseTracy and Sarah snark at the self-declared "Infidelity Professor" Albert Arnaiz, who wrote the book SHICRET: How to Be Unfaithful Without Getting Caught. What can a man who looks like a human dildo in a salmon sports coat tell us about cheating? We have so many questions.
2024-03-1224 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating32. Kayden's Law: An Interview with Kathy SherlockKathy Sherlock had a protection from abuse order against her daughter Kayden's father Jeff Manusco, who had a history of violence and mental instability. The judge allowed him unsupervised visitation. In October 2018, he murdered Kayden and hung himself. This case became the catalyst for Kayden's Law, which is pending in the Pennsylvania state legislature, to reform family law statutes where there are credible allegations of abuse. Sarah and Tracy talk with Kathy about how she fought to change the court system in her daughter's honor. Trigger warning: This episode discusses domestic violence and the murder of a...
2024-03-0545 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating31. The Nonsense of Cheating Makes Marriages StrongerTracy and Sarah take apart a recent People magazine "love" story entitled Cheating Saved Our Marriage! It's a common reconciliation trope that surviving infidelity makes marriages stronger. A claim Chump Lady likens to shooting off your kneecaps improving your tennis game. Enduring is one thing, improving is quite another.
2024-02-2725 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating30. Kyle Walker's Baby Mama DramaSarah and Tracy discuss the UK cheating scandal of footballer Kyle Walker and his -- oops! -- second child with his mistress Lauryn Goodman. Betrayed wife Annie Kilner, who is pregnant with their fourth child, took Walker back after the first oops child with Goodman. But a second? Hey, he has no idea how this has happened!
2024-02-2023 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating29. Cheater Valentines, Bad Carnations, and Cheap ChocolateWelcome to a special Valentine's Day edition of Tell Me How You're Mighty! Sarah and Tracy discuss our worst Valentine's Days, smug coupledom, and a shared hatred of carnations. We read submissions from the Infidelity Valentine's poetry contest, where cheaters are immortalized in verse. (One submission is even a punk rock song.)
2024-02-1324 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating28. Do You Need a Private Detective? An Interview with Kenneth D'Angelo of Target InvestigationsWorried someone might be cheating on you? Got a controlling partner and the feeling that you're under survelliance? Going through a messy divorce? You may want to consider hiring a private detective. In this episode Tracy and Sarah talk with Kenneth D'Angelo, a private investigator with 31 years experience. We discuss double lives, money trails, debugging, and how to catch a cheater.
2024-02-0640 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating27. Spiritual Abuse and Infidelity: An Interview with David Derksen, the Divorce MinisterIt's hard to be cheated on. It's even harder when your faith community blames you for it or thinks divorce is a bigger sin than the cheating. In this episode, Sarah and Tracy talk with Rev. David Derksen, a prison chaplain, Yale Divinity school graduate, and creator of the DivorceMinister.com blog that helps victims of infidelity navigate spiritual abuse.
2024-01-3042 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating26. 10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse or PartnerSarah and Tracy respond to a recent Chump Lady post "10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaitfhul Spouse." Unlike a reconciliation article, these are actual questions you should ask, but will probably not get an honest answer to. "Do you buy sex?" "Did you use protection?" and "Did anyone get pregnant?" are a few we cover. We also celebrate a story of mightiness this week from a chump who went into business for herself.
2024-01-2338 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating25. 'A Wedding Ring Is Not a Diploma': An Interview with Shani Silver of a Single RevolutionShani Silver, TikToker, author of a Single Revolution, and the podcast A Single Serving, is a unique voice of support, shedding the societal shame around singlehood. With Sarah and Tracy, she gives a snarky take down of dating culture, the misogyny of "He's Just Not That Into You," and the cringiest thing anyone has ever said to her about being single. She also reacts to the FW of the Week -- an ex-boyfriend who demanded last year's Christmas present back.
2024-01-1644 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating24. Holiday FW Special EditionHappy holidays! Sarah and Tracy take your recordings of the Worst Holidays Ever spent with fuckwits. A hooker named "Holly," passive-aggressive presents, and appalling behavior -- cheaters make for terrible partners, but great gallows humor material. If you're feeling blue this holiday season, warm yourself by this fireside of dysfunction.
2023-12-2527 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating23. Cheaters with Dark Triad Personality Disorders: An Interview with Sandra BrownSandra Brown is a pioneering therapist in narcissistic abuse recovery and the author of 12 books related to pathological love relationships. She talks to Sarah and Tracy about how to recognize dark triad personalities and why such people make dangerous partners. Her advice: it's a fool's errand to do therapy with abusers -- they don't change. But you can.
2023-12-1947 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating22. She Left a Cheater and Fought Off an AttackerImagine going through infidelity, rebuilding your life, only to have your home invaded. Sarah and Tracy talk with Darlene, a mighty woman who has done many mighty things -- raised four successful kids, left a Jesus cheater, and fought back when a thief tried to rob her house. Darlene reacts with advice for FW of the Week -- a woman who was caregiving her mother-in-law while her husband was cheating.
2023-12-1247 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating21. Abandoned Wives and Runaway Husbands: An Interview with Therapist Vikki StarkAfter 21 years of marriage, one day therapist Vikki Stark's husband walked out on her. Unbeknownst to her, he'd been having an affair for six years. She thought they were happily married. The experience changed her life and her therapy practice. "He inadvertently gave me a gift. When I scraped myself up off the floor, I knew I had to help other women pick up the pieces and rebuild a better life and that has been my mission ever since!" Sarah and Tracy ask Vikki about recovering from abandonment, her book, Runaway Husbands, and Vikki weighs in on...
2023-12-0554 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating20. How to Prepare for a High-Conflict Divorce: An Interview with Regina DeMeoHow do you know if you can mediate a divorce, or if you're dealing with a high-conflict individual and it's going to court? Tracy talks with family law attorney Regina DeMeo about all things messy divorce: custody, litigation abuse, and infidelity. This is an earlier recording, broadcast for a special edition of Tell Me How You're Mighty.
2023-11-2832 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating19. Being the Sane Parent: An Interview with Sue AtkinsHow to have hard conversations with kids about divorce and separation -- Sarah and Tracy talk with parenting expert Sue Atkins on being age appropriate and resisting the urge to "slag off" the offending ex. Sue tackles hard questions about explaining abandonment to a three year old; a teenager who won't speak to her father; and the frustrations of working with Disney parents. Bonus: She takes on the FW of the Week -- a man with an obnoxious tattoo.
2023-11-2151 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating18. Open Marriage, an Esther Perel 'Gift', and GPS Tracking a CheaterSarah and Tracy react to three FW of the Week submissions -- a woman whose husband suggested a "quad" with his current affair partner; an unwanted gifted Esther Perel book; and a Texan who GPSed her husband's car and broadcast the discoveries.
2023-11-1432 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating17. Bankruptcy, Foreclosure, and Solo Parenting: 'I Survived and So Can You' -- An Interview with Jenny BallOur guest Jenny Ball had four kids under 10 when her husband walked out for his affair partner and then later quit his job. At one point, she was owed $40K in back support. Jenny sold stuff on eBay to survive, had her house foreclosed upon, filed for bankruptcy and needed food banks to feed her children -- experiences that inspired her to create a support community for other single moms -- The Happy HausFrau Porch.
2023-11-0643 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating16. 'I Lived Through Two Divorces and a Car Jacking': An Interview with Dave Jackson:People know Dave Jackson as the founder of the School of Podcasting, an author, and member of the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame. But he's also a regular guy who's been through some hard stuff and come out the other side a compassionate person with a killer sense of humor. Sarah and Tracy talk with Dave about being chumped, divorced, and the final indignity -- getting car jacked. Bonus: Dave weighs in on the FW of the Week -- a man who disappeared while his wife was in labor.
2023-10-3153 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating15. Debunking the 180 and Other Bad Relationship AdviceSarah and Tracy take on the established save-your-marriage advice of the 180, a term coined by therapist Michelle Weiner-Davis of "Divorce Busters" fame. Gutted by betrayal? Be cheerful and attractive! Never ask questions! Don't be angry! Pretzel yourself into pleasing shapes to win a cheater. Contrary, inauthentic, and just weirdly misogynistic, we wonder is the prize worth it?
2023-10-2338 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating14. An Interview with Dr. Omar Minwalla: 'The Secret Sexual Basement'We talk with Dr. Omar Minwalla, who is unique among therapists for calling cheating a "deceptive sexuality" problem. Dr. Minwalla is a psychologist and founder of The Institute for Sexual Health and the author of the "Secret Sexual Basement." We talk about trauma and the conventional victim-blaming discourse around infidelity. And what lurks in those subterranean hideyholes.
2023-10-171h 05
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating13. Infidelity, Divorce, and Cancer: The Suck TrifectaTracy and Sarah speak with Martina, a woman who divorced her cheating husband, gained a life -- only to receive a terminal cancer diagnosis a few months later. She's still here. Solo parenting her teenagers, riding horses, having adventures, and crossing many things off her bucket list. It's an emotional conversation about abandonment -- and getting your life back -- however long that is.
2023-10-1038 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating12. Angry, 'Codependent' Women: An Interview with Trauma Specialist, Diane StricklandDiane Strickland started the website YourStoryIsSafeHere.com to help wives and partners traumatized by men called sex addicts. She challenges the notion that such women are "codependent," but rather abused. Diane is a trained Canadian trauma specialist, critical incident responder, ordained pastor and was also once chumped in her former marriage. She took the skills she learned as a counselor to help others deal with their double life discoveries. Diane talks with Sarah and Tracy about codependency, productive anger, tone policing, and the sex addiction therapy industry.
2023-10-0342 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating11. An Interview with Dr. George Simon: How to Deal with Manipulative PeopleDr. George Simon is a psychologist and best-selling author who's been decoding manipulation for over 30 years. Tracy and Sarah ask him about his work on "character disturbance" and Dr. Simon answers a listener's question about being estranged from her family after they sided with her abusive, cheating ex-husband.
2023-09-2136 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating10. Getting the Hell Out of DodgeSarah and Tracy talk with Nancy, a woman who pulled up stakes for a new town, a new career and a new identity after her divorce -- moving to the other end of the country to take a job as a resident "dorm mom" at a boarding school. With food and housing covered, she pocketed her paycheck, traveled on the weekends, and rebuilt her life. Her mantra: "Eat my sparkle dust!"
2023-09-1930 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating9. Don't Get Mad, Build an OrganizationAfter Christina Pavlina went through her own divorce, she helped create a nonprofit to make it easier for women to navigate the process. Pavlina is the cofounder and the executive director of Jane Does Well, a national outreach organization. Beyond social meet-ups, single mom support groups, yoga, and divorce education workshops, Jane Does Well also advocates for legislation and changes to make the family courts more accessible and fair to women. Mighty!
2023-08-2536 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating8. Nice or Nasty? Or How Could I Have Been So Wrong About This Person?A woman calls in whose husband of 30 years walked out on her before Xmas -- after his mistress gave him an ultimatum. She wants to know -- was he a nice person who turned nasty? Or was he a terrible person all the time and she was completely mistaken about a man she spent three decades with? Tracy and Sarah untangle the skein of abandonment.
2023-08-2225 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating7. Telling People Your Chump StorySarah and Tracy discuss being public with their chump stories. Guest Paul Doncaster takes mightiness to a new level when he tells his D-Day story "The Stranger" at Moth Radio storytelling contest in front of a live audience. And his ex turns up with her boyfriend!
2023-08-0132 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating6. She Left Her Cheating Husband While Pregnant with TwinsIt takes a special kind of resilience to leave a cheater when you're four months pregnant with twins -- but that's exactly what our guest Alyson did. At the time, she had two other small kids at home and was the family breadwinner. She's now a mighty single mother of four and a "boss lady" at a fortune 500 firm where she leads a large team. We discuss the challenges of solo parenting and the particular horror and vulnerability of suffering a D-Day while pregnant. But also the rewards of being the sane, show-up parent.
2023-07-2141 minTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating5. Ordinary People with Extraordinary MightinessSarah and Tracy discuss the ordinary people they've met who've impressed them with their extraordinary resilience. Teasers for mighty stories to come!
2023-07-1823 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating4. An Interview with Andrew G. Marshall -- Is Reconciliation Possible After Infidelity?Sarah and Tracy interview popular British therapist Andrew G. Marshall on his views about whether a marriage can recover after infidelity. Is "affair proofing" actually a thing? We find some common ground -- and some very diverging opinions -- on what's possible when you're dealing with a deceptive partner.
2023-07-0746 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating3. D-Days -- Discovering Cheating, How It All Falls ApartD-Days -- What you do wish you'd done differently when you discovered your partner was cheating? Many of us had gut instincts to leave immediately, but got tripped up with second-guessing and cheater manipulation. Sarah and Tracy tell their surreal D-Day stories, the good advice they got, and the lousy. One listener wishes she'd catfished her ex on a date.
2023-06-3030 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating2. What to Do (or Not Do) When You Suspect CheatingImagining the unimaginable -- what to do when you suspect cheating. Tracy tells the story how she woke up with another woman's thong stuck to her. And Sarah shares her near miss moving to Devon to "rebuild the marriage." A listener asks if it's possible to gaslight oneself by believing a cheater's lies.
2023-06-2734 min
Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating1. An Introduction to "Tell Me How You're Mighty" -- The Podcast About Surviving InfidelityIn this first episode, hosts Sarah Gorrell -- a BBC radio presenter -- and Tracy Schorn -- the writer known as Chump Lady -- discuss how they met, their chump stories, and why the world needs a different infidelity narrative. (Hint: More mightiness, less reconciliation with cheaters.)
2023-06-2029 min
OurVoices with Kristin KalbliS6 Ep 1: Cheating is Cheating with The Chump Lady, Tracy SchornIf you would like to support this episode, please donate here. On today's Season 6 opener, Chump Lady Tracy Schorn talks about cheating, double lives and closets (of all kinds), and the toll being a chump can take on an unsuspecting spouse or partner. Tracy cuts through the nonsense and calls a spade a spade: cheating is the "theft of your reality" and it sets up an abusive power dynamic. With trademark frankness and wit, Tracy tells us exactly why. Website: Chump Lady.com Book: Leave a Cheater Gain a Life
2023-02-1554 min
Choose to be CuriousEp. #58: Infidelity, with "Chump Lady" Tracy Schorn"Infidelity is the antithesis of curiosity" says Tracy Schorn, whose blog "Chump Lady" has amassed 20M page views. We explore curiosity as a power tool in facing relationship betrayal. There's a reason she's an internet and publishing sensation....
2018-07-1128 min