Shows
Hit Play Not PauseWhy So Many Midlife Women Stop Wanting Sex—and What Helps with Cindy Scharkey, RN, BSN, PHN (Episode 261)Midlife and menopause can bring real physical and psychological changes that affect libido, arousal, and pleasure—but that doesn’t mean desire or a satisfying sex life are destined to disappear. This week we sat down with registered nurse and Permission for Pleasure author Cindy Scharkey to unpack what actually happens to desire, arousal, pleasure, and our bodies as we move through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. We explore why so many women stop wanting sex in midlife, how hormones, stress, body image, and long-term relationships play a role, and why waiting to be “in the mood” often doesn’t work anymo...
2026-02-111h 00
Marriage iQEpisode 115 - Mastering Pleasure: Experts' Guide to Female Anatomy with Cindy ScharkeyMost couples never learn how to talk about sex—and it quietly sabotages intimacy, desire, and connection in marriage. In this powerful Marriage IQ episode, Dr. Heidi Hastings and Dr. Scott Hastings sit down with OB/GYN nurse, educator, author, and podcast host Cindy Scharkey (Permission for Pleasure) to talk about female pleasure, sexual communication, desire discrepancy, anatomy education, painful sex, and how couples can cultivate a thriving “sexual garden” over time. If you’ve ever wondered:✔️ “Is something wrong with me?”✔️ “Why don’t I want sex like I used to?”✔️ “How do we talk about intimacy without s...
2026-01-2053 min
Permission for PleasureHeated Rivalry’s Intimacy Coordinator Chala HunterTake a peek into the role of Intimacy Coordinator for Heated Rivalry, the TV show everyone’s talking about. Chala Hunter shares what an intimacy coordinator’s job is, and how she worked to create comfort and safety on set for the simulated sex scenes, nudity and all things intimacy. We discuss the cast and crew vibe while filming the show, and the intentionality around modeling safe, consensual and pleasurable sex. Learn why Director Jacob Tierney calls Chala, “The hero of this show!” Learn more about Chala HunterVisit our episode sponsor Uber...
2026-01-1444 min
Ecstatic LifeHow to Reclaim Pleasure - after Kids, Midlife and Long-term Partnership with guest Cindy ScharkeyReady to break free from shame and reclaim your pleasure?
In this powerful episode, I sit down with pleasure expert and 'Permission for Pleasure' podcast host Cindy Scharkey to explore how women can create a more empowered, joyful relationship with their bodies and sexuality.
Together we dive into:
✨ Why women’s pleasure has been silenced for generations—and how to reclaim it
✨ The difference between sensuality and sexuality (and why it matters)
✨ How desire evolves in long-term relationships—and what to do when spontaneity fades
✨ Practical ways to bring more mindfulness, communication...
2025-10-0354 minPermission for PleasureSlippery When Wet: Shower Sex for BeginnersFrom logistics on positioning, to setting the stage before you step in - in this episode I talk you through the basics on how to add shower sex to your intimacy repertoire. Showering together has never been more fun, safe and intimate.Mentioned in this episode:Pleasure PracticeUberlube use code CINDYShower sex for beginners on the blogORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
2025-09-0307 minPermission for PleasureSex Over 50Menopause doesn’t mean your sex life is over. In fact, you may find yourself having the best sex of your life! Join me for a chat specifically for the over 50 crowd. Let’s talk about desire, arousal, and changing things up as we change. Your pleasure matters!Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube, use CINDY for 15% offMentioned in this episode:Guide to lubePerimenopause: Hormones and SymptomsPerimenopause: Treatment OptionsEverything we get wrong about init...
2025-07-2310 minPermission for PleasureSexual Adaptation and Aids for All BodiesThroughout life, we all face changes in our body that impact how we experience pleasure with sex. Laura Glazebrook PT, DPT, specializes in neurological injuries and all manner of pelvic health concerns. She joins me to talk about adaptations, tools, toys, and positional aids - for all bodies. Whether you’re post surgery, post injury, or navigating change, this conversation is full of practical tips, products, and resources for all of life’s seasons.Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% offLaura Glazebrook, PT, DPT spent ten year...
2025-06-1140 min
Modern HysteriaS1E23 The Clitoris x Arousal x Better Sex with Cindy Scharkey, RN, BSNThis week, I am joined by the “Lube Fairy” herself, Cindy Scharkey, RN, BSN, to talk about a much-misunderstood, underrated, and “hard to find” body part: The clitoris.What is it? Why doesn’t it get enough credit? And what are we missing about our own pleasure?THE TABOOIn this episode we dive into sexual pleasure — specifically, the widespread ignorance, silence, and shame surrounding the clitoris, arousal, and women’s right to enjoy sex on their own terms, plus:* The cultural erasure of the clitoris and female anatomy from sex education
2025-05-151h 07Permission for PleasureLevel Up Your Pleasure With 20 Types of OrgasmsSusan Bratton calls herself the “Orgasmanaut.” She’s here to share what she has learned, along with some juicy and practical ways for you to experience more orgasms. As her mentor taught her; with sex - there is always something more! Listen to hear the ingredient list and recipe to follow for more!Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use discount code CINDY Susan Bratton, "Intimacy Expert to Millions" is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. S...
2025-03-1940 minPermission for PleasureSexual Wellness and Pleasure Wish ListWhen I saw Michal Morrison's Sexual Wellness and Pleasure list on Threads, I thought, "Who is this woman and how did she come up with this amazing list?!" Learn about toys, tools, good reads and more to empower you on your wellness and pleasure journey.Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% offMichal Morrison is an Austin-based entrepreneur and the founder of her eponymous brand, Michal Morrison—a cutting-edge skincare company rooted in science and powered by groundbreaking stem cell technology. With a passion for science-based innovation, Michal has worked in...
2025-02-1949 minPermission for PleasureSeason Five: Launching the book I wrote for YOU!Welcome to season 5 and my book launch! Join me as I share why I wrote Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden. Since we can't all gather together across the globe I am bringing the party to you. More on these topics:Spicy Audio StoriesMasturbation: Let's Dig InUberlube use code CINDY for 15% Foria Arousal Oil Arya use code CS15ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my N...
2025-01-0809 min
The SmartSex PodcastCultivating Sensuality and Erotic Energy with Cindy ScharkeySexuality, Sensuality, Erotic… all words that women tend to shy away from. BUT… Cindy Scharkey and I are here to empower women to put aside their fear and embrace cultivating sensuality and erotic energy in one's life and relationships. This episode hits on what's blocking women's expression of sensuality and ways to overcome it. To have the freedom to voice what they need and to seek pleasure. Put the work of YOURSELF on the forefront. Let yourself have what you long for: in yourself, in your life, in your sexuality, and in your relat...
2025-01-0755 minPermission for PleasureVaginal Estrogen, Moisturizers, and Lube for SexLearn the difference between vaginal estrogen, vaginal moisturizers, and lube for sex. This quickie episode outlines what each one is, when their use is appropriate and a few frequently asked questions about each. Bite size education for everyone, but especially for those in perimenopause and the menopause transition.Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% offMore on this topic:Guide to LubeLube Lube Lube Perimenopause 101: Hormones and SymptomsPerimenopause 101: Treatment Options Tips for talking...
2024-11-1308 minPermission for PleasureEverything We Get Wrong About InitiationNeed better ways to initiate sex in your relationship? Vanessa and Xander Marin join me to discuss everything we are getting wrong about initiation and tips to do it better. She's a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, he's a regular dude and together they wrote Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Tune in and learn to change the communication of initiation in your relationship.Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE - use code CINDY for 15% offLearn more about Vanessa and Xander Marin
2024-10-1642 minPermission for PleasureThree Things I Would Tell My Younger SelfTo celebrate my 60th birthday this week, I want to share three key insights that have significantly influenced my journey towards sexual wellness. These discoveries are crucial in helping you find the freedom to express, experience, and enjoy your sexuality. Plus, I have an exciting announcement to share!Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY for 15% offMore on these topics:All About LubePain and SexLube. Lube. Lube.Pelvic Health and Painful Sex
2024-06-2613 minPermission for PleasureDo women ejaculate? What is squirting?Are you curious about female ejaculation and squirting? Tune in as I answer your frequently asked questions. Yes - women ejaculate, and yes women can squirt. However, they are not the same thing. Learn the where, why and how in this - all about the fluids episode.Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY for 15% offMore on these topicsEjaculation and Squirting blogFemale Anatomy of Arousal book reviewFemale Anatomy 101Clitoris - it's a networkAll About LubeG...
2024-05-2911 min
The Special Needs Mom PodcastAwakening Sensuality and Reconnecting to Yourself with Cindy ScharkeySend us a text (Note: we are not able to respond but LOVE to hear from you!!)This conversation is a necessary and stimulating (pun intended) exchange between Cindy and myself. This podcast was created to serve and focus on you, the special needs mom, and this episode does exactly that. It implores you to connect to yourself and to what you need and to the sensations of your body.Cindy Scharkey is a nurse with over 3 decades of experience in healthcare. She is passionate about breaking the silence surrounding women’s sexuality and empowering pa...
2024-05-1552 minPermission for PleasureMasturbation - Let's dig inPeople masturbate for all kinds of reasons including pleasure, exploration, sleep and pain relief. For women who have never experienced orgasm, self-pleasure is the most scientifically supported sex therapy technique to learn the stimulation needed to climax. August McLaughlin, a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio, joins me to share her insights, and personal journey with masturbation. We discuss some practices and tips, as well as debunk a few common myths around solo sex. August McLaughlin is a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio. Her acclaimed Girl Boner book i...
2024-04-0343 min
How We Get Thru Podcast: Wellness, Healing & Spiritual Tools for Growth in Real LifeS2 Ep 38 Pleasure and Mindfulness for Women's Sexual Liberation with Cindy Scharkey RNToday’s episode highlights the road back to pleasure for women but more importantly what I learned from this episode is the gift of being in connection with women that have experienced more life than you. Cindy Scharkey is a registered nurse turned sex educator who invites women into the freedom of their bodies, pleasure, and intimacy.We talk about how mindfulness is the gateway to have better sex, experience more pleasure in day to day life, and erase the belief that women don't deserve pleasure. Talking with Cindy was like having a glimpse of what my fut...
2024-03-1950 minPermission for PleasureDoggy Style, Kivin Method and Why Do I Bleed After SexIn this quickie episode I’ll introduce you to the Kivin Method or oral for her – sideways. Hear a how-to guide and why you might want to try it. I'll also answer a few community questions including 'How can I make doggy style more intimate?' and 'Why do I bleed after sex?' Ten minutes of good education for good sex!Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% offMore on these topics:Oral Sex for WomenGuide to Lube...
2024-03-0610 minPermission for PleasureSpicy Audio Stories with Gina of DipseaAs Gina Gutierrez, the co-founder of Dipsea, says in her Ted Talk, “Using their memories, fantasies, and some focus - women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.” In this conversation, Gina and I discuss exploration of fantasy, the differences between erotica and porn, ways to figure out what turns you on, and barriers to pleasure. I like the way Gina puts it, "Your desire is not a problem to be solved, but a fire to be stoked." You may discover a new tool to spark the flame in this episode.Use code CINDY for a free...
2024-01-2431 minPermission for PleasurePerimenopause 101: Treatment OptionsThere are many options available to treat your symptoms during the menopause transition. I continue my conversation with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist about perimenopause. We discuss non-hormonal prescriptions, systemic hormonal therapy, vaginal estrogen, moisturizers, and lubricants for sex. Dr. Shyama also shares how to find qualified menopause clinicians and why we should all ask for a pelvic floor physical therapy referral. Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% offLearn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews
2023-12-1325 minPermission for PleasurePerimenopause 101: Hormones and SymptomsEducation is key to entering the menopause transition knowledgeable and prepared! In this episode, learn what you need to know about perimenopause with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgeon, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist. We discuss when changes start, the common symptoms experienced, and what your hormones are doing. Don’t “gut out” the menopause transition, instead feel empowered to advocate for your health.Learn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off More o...
2023-11-2933 min
Vibrantly Grey with Kathy Werking: A Podcast for Women Over 50 and ThrivingBONUS REPLAY: Better Sex & Arousal for Women Over 50 with Special Guest Cindy ScharkeyI'm thrilled to introduce you to special guest, Cindy Scharkey. Cindy is passionate about opening the doors for women to have conversations about expressing, experiencing and enjoying their sexuality. In this episode, Cindy shares some of the struggles of women over 50 when it comes to having joyful and satisfying sex lives as well as practical tips and suggestions for better sex and arousal.An excellent Ted talk by Brene Brown: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability/cConnect with Cindy: ...
2023-11-0252 minPermission for PleasureOral Sex for WomenOral sex is a highly reliable path to orgasm for women. This episode talks about creating anticipation, building arousal toward crescendo and specific tongue techniques to stimulate the clitoris and vulva. Also hear tips on positioning, when to add variety, and when to stick with consistency. Learn the signs of approaching orgasm, to help your partner go over the edge with pleasure.Visit our episode sponsor Lovability and use code CINDY for 10% offLearn more about these topicsThe Kivin Method -Oral Sideways
2023-06-1417 minPermission for PleasureCan Men Be Multi-Orgasmic?Sex coach Cam Fraser returns for part two of our conversation about men and sex. We cover erections, ejaculation, and how men can experience multiple orgasms. Find out Cam's communication tip for women partnered with men, and why men need more permission to explore their bodies for pleasure and fulfilling intimacy.Learn more about Cam's workVisit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use CINDY for 15% offMore on these topics:Erectile changes vs erectile dysfunctionWhat is edgingVibrators...
2023-05-3126 minPermission for PleasureHow Toxic Masculinity Can Invade Your Sex LifeCam Fraser, a therapist and licensed sex coach says the script men learn: “Get it up. Get it in. Get it off.” is ruining sex lives. He shares his story and the ways he learned to reframe his own approach to pleasure. We discuss the sex ed men and their partners need to get out of the box that says sex has to look a certain way and to move toward more fulfilling intimacy. Learn more about Cam's workVisit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use CINDY for 15% offLea...
2023-05-1736 minPermission for PleasureDo You Ever Think Your Sex Life Is Broken?Have you ever felt broken when it comes to your sex life? Urologist and sex expert Kelly Casperson, MD joins me to talk about her book You’re Not Broken: Stop “Should-ing” All Over Your Sex Life. We discuss what bad sex looks like, why sometimes ‘good enough’ sex is fantastic and how self-cultivation enhances your sexual health. I also asked Dr. Casperson her top tips for preventing UTIs (find them at 27:53).Learn more about Dr. Kelly CaspersonVisit our episode sponsor Uberlube use CINDY for 15% of...
2023-05-0338 minPermission for PleasureWhy Is It Easier To Orgasm By Myself?Answering your orgasm questions in this episode, including: Are all orgasms the same? Is it normal for some orgasms to be more intense than others? My orgasms have changed as I’ve gotten older, am I normal? Why is it so much easier for me to orgasm by myself, than with a partner? Can I orgasm from stimulation to my clitoral hood? What can I do to make orgasm easier?More on this topic:How can I orgasm easier?Let’s Talk OrgasmsThe...
2023-04-1913 minVibrantly Grey with Kathy Werking: A Podcast for Women Over 50 and ThrivingBetter Sex & Arousal for Women Over 50 with Special Guest Cindy ScharkeyI'm thrilled to introduce you to special guest, Cindy Scharkey. Cindy is passionate about opening the doors for women to have conversations about expressing, experiencing and enjoying their sexuality. In this episode, Cindy shares some of the struggles of women over 50 when it comes to having joyful and satisfying sex lives as well as practical tips and suggestions for better sex and arousal.An excellent Ted talk by Brene Brown: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability/cConnect with Cindy: ...
2023-04-1852 minPermission for PleasureOrgasm Is A Big Brain EventYour brain is wired for pleasure! My conversation with Dr. Nan Wise continues as she shares her research about how your brain benefits from orgasm and pleasure and how even thinking about pleasurable stimulation lights up your brain like a Christmas tree! As she emphatically says, “Orgasm is a big brain event!” She also teaches how to lay down pleasure pathways to help those who find it difficult to orgasm. Learn about your brain-body connections and how the more you pay attention to the sensations you feel, the more you can dial them up for more pleasure....
2023-04-0536 minPermission for PleasureThe Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex MattersOur society has a love/hate relationship with pleasure. More people than ever are experiencing anhedonia, the reduced ability to experience pleasure. Dr. Nan Wise, neuroscience researcher, certified sex therapist and author of Why Good Sex Matters, joins me to discuss why pleasure is a necessity for a balanced emotional brain. She walks us through the seven core emotional systems that give us feedback about what feels good and what is good for us. Dr. Nan expounds on how our brain is the command center for sex and a generator of pleasure. Learn more about your wired-in pleasure system...
2023-03-2235 minPermission for PleasureShifting The Fertility Narrative From Me To WeWeNatal caught my attention with their holistic approach to fertility. Instead of the usual focus on me - the woman, they widen it to we - and include the partner. They bring men into the fertility equation. Founders Vida Delrahim and Ronit Menashe join me to talk about the importance of preconception care, healthy practices, gratitude and a more well rounded focus for couples in the fertility season. They share their story of miscarriage, friendship and the community they are building to support families on the fertility journey.Learn more about WeNatal
2023-03-0837 min
The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast137. The Best Sex Techniques To Increase HER Pleasure With Health And Sex Expert Cindy ScharkeyIn this episode, Nick and Amy talk with health and sex expert Cindy Scharkey about the best techniques and positions to increase her pleasure! Most women cannot have an orgasm from intercourse alone, but how many of us know that or even talk about that?No wonder it is so difficult for many women to have an orgasm, or to enjoy sexual intimacy. After listening to the episode, you will better understand how to increase her please and take your sexual intimacy to a new level. Also check out podcast episode 30 "It's All About The...
2023-03-0723 minThe Ultimate Intimacy Podcast136. Talking MENOPAUSE And Low Libido With Health And Sex Expert Cindy ScharkeyYou've spoken and we've listened. So many husbands and wives have expressed need during this stage of life... menopause. How it affects libido, and what you can do about it! In this episode Nick and Amy talk all about menopause with health care expert Cindy Scharkey. Cindy has over 35 years experience in the industry and answers many of the common questions.What is menopause? How does it impact sexual intimacy and libido? How long can menopause last?What can a husband do to support his spouse during this time?How do you keep sexu...
2023-03-0342 minPermission for PleasurePositions with PropsLifted Missionary, Chair Sex, or Sex in Heels. As Esther Perel says, “Creativity is where eroticism lives.” In this quickie episode I am highlighting three positions that make use of pillows or props. Try something new and get a little creative with these positions for more comfort, fun and erotic pleasure.Learn more about these topics:Pleasure Techniques Ep. 41Pleasure Techniques on the BlogG-spotThe Clitoris - It's a Whole NetworkSex on t...
2023-02-2209 minPermission for PleasureThe Growing Mental Health Crisis Of Our GirlsOur girls are struggling more than boys. Why? Did you know that 1 out of every 4 teen girls has symptoms of major depression? This is compared with fewer than 1 in 10 boys. Girls are also twice as likely as boys to suffer from anxiety. We have a crisis on our hands. Award-winning journalist, Donna Jackson Nakazawa, joins me to discuss the topic. We talk about how the toxic stressors of social media and our culture are uniquely affecting girls' mental health. We share action steps from Donna’s book, Girls on the Brink, that you can use to help the girl in...
2023-02-0844 minPermission for PleasureMisconceptions Men Believe About SexI invited Sheila Gregoire back to break down what women actually want from their male partners in bed. Sharing excerpts from her book, The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, we debunk myths about the magic penis, mental load, foreplay, female arousal, and orgasm. Learn some practical ideas for increased pleasure and better sex!Visit our episode sponsor MANSCAPED and use code PERMISSION for 20% off and free shippingLearn more about Sheila's workMore on these topicsEp 29 on arousal with SheilaSexual Sc...
2023-01-2544 minPermission for PleasureWelcome to Season ThreeWelcome to Season Three! Whether you are a new listener, or have been here since the beginning - thank you for being part of this community. On this podcast we have conversations about sexual health and pleasure. Episodes include everything from interviews with experts to hearing from members of this community. This show is constantly evolving as I prioritize the topics you most want to hear about. My hope is that this community will help you to open healthy conversations and give yourself permission for pleasure.ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual...
2023-01-1102 minPermission for PleasureExploring Erogenous ZonesDo you know your erogenous zones? Do you know your partner's? We are wrapping up season two on the podcast by revisiting one of my favorite pleasure practices. This touch exercise is a wonderful way to connect with your body and your partner's. We change, and so do our bodies, which means our erogenous zones can as well. Learn ways to communicate where you enjoy being touched, as well as what kind of touch feels good. Explore each other's bodies with this guided touch exercise. Learn more about these topicsPleasurable Touch Practice...
2022-12-2806 minPermission for PleasureSexual CommunicationYou can learn to talk about sex! It is a skill strengthened through practice. In this quickie episode, I’m offering some helpful tips and conversation prompts to get you started. Listen solo or with your partner to learn practical ways to boost your sexual communication. Topics include: sexual frequency, reasons you want to have sex, scheduling sexy dates, being honest about what you no longer enjoy, and trying new things. Visit our episode sponsor Sexfirmation Cards and use code CINDY for 15% offLearn more about these topics
2022-12-1416 minPermission for PleasureEvolving Out Of Purity CultureIt is always a delight when a member of our community comes on the show to share their story. Brit "Beans" Barron is a teacher, speaker and author of Worth It. She joins me for a conversation about her journey evolving out of purity culture. We discuss her work to unpack shame, unravel the purity narrative and embrace her sexuality as a queer woman. Learn more about Brit's workLearn more about these topics:My letter to young womenLess Shame - More Sex EdLearning to Listen to Your BodyR...
2022-11-3041 minPermission for Pleasure'How To Build A Sex Room' - Taylor's journeyYou met the delightful Taylor Stonack if you watched episode one of Netflix’s How to Build a Sex Room. Whether you've seen the show or not, you’ll be drawn into her journey which she shares with both laughter and tears. She joins me for a conversation about her experience on the show, how she became interested in kink, and what she learned about herself through the process. She shares a few un-aired moments including a scene that brought back her past experience of sexual trauma. Through the outpouring of care and solid consent language, this resulted in a be...
2022-11-1640 minPermission for PleasureSexy in Survival ModeHow in the world can a new mom feel sexy in survival mode? Journalist Simone Boyce flips the script to interview me about life and intimacy after childbirth. I answer her questions about the six-week mark, re-examining pleasure, code switching out of "mommy mode," and the reality of feeling touched out. You’ll learn my tips for intimacy without the pressure and ways to embrace outercourse (or as Simone says, “things you can do on the outside without ever having to go in the house!”). We talk about it all in this episode!Simone Boyce is a n...
2022-11-0249 minPermission for PleasureSexify Your Space: Tips for a Better BedroomWouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all build ourselves a whole room dedicated to sex and intimacy? For most of us, that’s not a reality. However we can make changes to sexify the space we do have! In this quickie episode, you’ll hear my ten tips to create a more sensual and inviting atmosphere in your bedroom. Research shows that those with the most enjoyable sex life, set up their environment for sex with intention. Choose from - moody lighting, mirrors, props, privacy and more - to level up your bedroom for better sex. Le...
2022-10-1909 minPermission for PleasureLess Shame - More Sex EdAlex Liu, a health reporter and director of the documentary; A Sexplanation joins me for a conversation about why we need comprehensive sex ed. We talk about his experience growing up as a young gay man, the sexual silence and shame that almost destroyed him, and how he found freedom and belonging by going on a quest for the sex education he never got. We agree that there are a lot of questions about sex that are “unasked, unspoken and unanswered!” This episode will encourage individuals, partners and parents to ask, speak and answer those questions.Lear...
2022-10-0526 minPermission for PleasureSex, Postpartum, and BreastfeedingColleen Weeks and I continue our conversation and discuss the challenges and changes in the fourth trimester, the 3-month time period after birthing a baby. Topics include hormone changes, the 6-weeks suggested for healing, why you may need lubrication for sex, and how fatigue affects sexual arousal. We also dive into breastfeeding to answer some common questions, such as does breastfeeding work as birth control, and why milk leaks or spurts with sex. You’ll hear thoughts on parenting roles, the mental load and communication strategies between partners to help you navigate this often-overwhelming season of change.Fo...
2022-09-2140 minPermission for PleasureSex and PregnancyMy long time colleague and friend Colleen Weeks joins me to talk about all things pregnancy. This episode is your private in-home education class! You'll hear information every person needs to know about hormones, sex in pregnancy, partner concerns, and all the changes a body goes through to grow and birth a whole human. One of the biggest changes Colleen has witnessed over the years, is the increasing lack of trust women have in their bodies and how they function. Our hope is that this conversation will you help you gain confidence to trust your body in pregnancy, and...
2022-09-0725 minPermission for PleasureLearning to Listen to Your BodyDr. Hillary McBride joins me for a conversation about embodiment or as she defines it, “Our experience of being a body as it’s shaped by culture.” She provides tools to help us untangle the cultural scripts we have taken in, along with gentle guidance for how we can reframe and choose a healthier way to be in our body. You’ll hear how you can learn to listen to your body, embrace your sensuality and give yourself more permission for pleasure. Dr. Hillary McBride is a registered psychologist, a researcher, and podcaster. She is the author of...
2022-08-2433 minPermission for PleasurePleasure TechniquesLearn four techniques women use to increase pleasure during vaginal penetration. OMGyes, in partnership with Indiana University School of Medicine, conducted a nationally representative study of over 3000 women, and I share their results in this episode. Hear about shallowing, pairing, rocking, and angling - along with practical tips for each one. I also discuss how faking orgasm can undermine your pleasure and give conversation starters to open a discussion about it with a partner.Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% offLearn more about these topicsOMGyes
2022-08-1017 minPermission for PleasureWant Better Sex? Ask Yourself These QuestionsHave you and your partner experienced conflict over mismatched sexual desire or frequency? Have you ever asked yourself: why sex matters to you? Cyndi Darnell joins me to talk about the healthy questions to ask yourself for better sexual self-understanding - which can lead to better sex! Learn the truth about mismatched sexual desire, the problems that result when couples equate frequency with quality, and ideas for creating a more satisfying sex life. Cyndi Darnell is a clinical and somatic sexologist and author of Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido & Re...
2022-07-2731 minPermission for PleasureWhy We Need to Talk About Pornography - Part 2Therapist Sam Tielemans and I continue the conversation about pornography and specifically how it can affect relationships. We discuss the feelings women often experience when they discover their partner uses porn and why dealing with this issue alone is so difficult. Then we offer practical ways for couples to get started communicating as well as ideas for moving toward healing. Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of unhealthy porn use in their relationship, to rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy.Learn more about...
2022-07-1325 minPermission for PleasureWhy We Need to Talk About Pornography - Part 1Therapist Sam Tielemans joins me to discuss why we need to talk about pornography, not only in our relationships but also as parents with our kids. Part one of this conversation includes: information about unhealthy usage of pornography and that it usually isn’t about sex, what the average age of a child’s exposure is to porn (5:21), and how lies and deception break the attachment bond which may possibly cause betrayal trauma (8:25). We role play how to navigate the discussion with a partner and prompts to get you started (16:20).Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and fami...
2022-07-1323 minPermission for PleasureLet’s Go Girls: Jessica from New YorkJessica Lorion experienced a debilitating autoimmune disease that impacted her body image, intimacy, and relationship. It also detoured her desire to start a family. We talk together about her health and relationship journey, her positive pivot of starting a community, and our shared passion of supporting pregnant women and aspiring moms on their journey into motherhood.Learn more about Mamas in Training Listen to Sex and Pregnancy Listen to Sex and PostpartumORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for...
2022-06-2932 minPermission for PleasureCommunity Questions: Arousal, Role Play & CondomsI’m answering your community questions. One woman wants to know why arousal takes so long, if it’s normal and tips to help (0:55). Another listener asks about how to start role play in the bedroom without feeling awkward (3:57). Then I offer some sexy tips for a couple that says putting on a condom is ruining their mood (8:30).Learn more about these topics: The Key to Female Pleasure Speeding up arousalWhen my partner wants to try something new SS...
2022-06-1511 minPermission for PleasureStretched-Out Vaginas and Other MythsHave you heard your vagina stretches out if you have a lot of sex? Or that kegels are the answer to all your pelvic floor issues? How about the one that a vaginal delivery ruins your sex life? Heather Jeffcoat returns to the podcast for a round of true or false about common sexual health myths. We also offer advice for first intercourse; dilator use and period problems. In this episode you’ll learn the facts to help you advocate for your sexual health.Heather Jeffcoat, DPT is a recognized expert in the field of improving women’s he...
2022-06-0129 minPermission for PleasureFinding Intimacy During Infertility or After MiscarriageMiscarriage or infertility is often the first medical crisis young couples face and finding intimacy through these times can pose some unique challenges. Dr. Jacqueline Sherman shares her personal story as well as specific ideas to help couples navigate the journey. You'll learn ways to connect with your feelings, your partner, and tips to reframe your sex life for more intimacy and connection. Dr. Jacqueline Sherman is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Intimacy and Relationship Coach. www.drjac.coLearn more about these topicsMindfulnessBook Review: Better Sex Through...
2022-05-1834 minPermission for PleasureTalking About Sex (When Things Aren’t Great) - Part 1PART ONE: When things aren’t going so great in the bedroom, communication may be what you need to turn things around. Research shows that talking about sex is one of the strongest predictors of sexual satisfaction. In this episode, Meygan Caston joins us as our first repeat guest on the podcast. This time, she shares the story of how she learned to talk about sex with her partner, and offers us the communication tips and strategies she gathered as they transformed their sex life from really bad - to really good.Meygan Caston is the co-founder of...
2022-05-0423 minPermission for PleasureTalking About Sex (When Things Aren’t Great) - Part 2PART TWO: It can feel uncomfortable asking for what you want in bed. The good news is that talking with a partner about sex is a skill you can learn. In this episode, our conversation with Meygan Caston continues as she shares how communication saved her sex life. In part two, she takes things to the next level by asking for a ‘pleasure gift’ on her 10-year wedding anniversary. You’ll hear more of her tips and strategies for talking about sex with a partner, and will be encouraged to give yourself permission for pleasure. Meygan Caston is the...
2022-05-0423 minPermission for PleasureForeplay 101Foreplay should be all day! I like to think of foreplay as connection building activities rather than just a lead up to sex. Connection certainly doesn't start in the bedroom. Foreplay can be tender, playful, and erotic. In this quickie episode, I offer some specific ideas to intentionally use each of your senses to increase pleasure and get creative with connection. It is said that variety is the spice of life, so let's get curious, have fun, and get spicy!Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and receive 15% off...
2022-04-2012 minPermission for PleasureSupporting SurvivorsDr. Rossana Sida joins me for a conversation about her work with survivors and those who care for them. We discuss common challenges of recovery, options for those seeking help, language to use with recovering partners, and navigating ongoing consent. You are never alone in the continuing work of healing and recovery. Whether you are a survivor, in a relationship with one, or desire to understand how to best care for someone else, you’ll find some tools here for healing and hope.Dr. Rossana Sida is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Th...
2022-04-0631 minPermission for PleasureCommunity Questions: Vibrators, Edging & Anal SexIn this episode, I talk with Dr. Shannon Chavez. We explore the importance of curiosity, consent, and communication, and then we unpack a few topics from my community question box about vibrators, edging, and anal sex.Edging tips for slowing things down and building arousal.Vibrators -why they work for women and healthy practicesAnal sex: yes or no? Basics about consent, lube and safety.Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice, SHAPE (Sexual Health and Pleasure Enhancement) Center in Beverly Hills, California. Learn m...
2022-03-2328 minPermission for PleasureLet’s Go Girls: Heather from the South BayJoin me and my friend Heather for an episode in our “Let’s Go Girls” series where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women have learned about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. We discuss the facts, challenges and freedom of midlife and menopause. Listen to learn, laugh, get prepared and feel less alone in whatever stage of womanhood you find yourself. Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code: PleasureLearn more about these topics:Sex and PainLubeErecti...
2022-03-0948 minPermission for PleasureReclaim Your Arousal MindsetSheila Wray Gregoire and her team conducted a study of 20,000 women to determine what makes sex great for some and less satisfying for others, along with rates of sexual pain. In this episode we discuss what these women had to say and find out how significant cultural narratives are on our desire styles and arousal as women. What started out as a chat about female arousal, quickly turned into a thought-provoking conversation around how our mindset impacts female arousal. Let’s all start asking Sheila’s question: “What wants to be touched right now?”Learn more about Sheila's...
2022-02-2344 min
Mamas in Training: Preparing for Pregnancy & MotherhoodEP103- Sex Postpartum: Painful Sex is Not Normal! with Cindy ScharkeyJust because we are given that clearance from our doctor at the 6-week mark, does not mean that we should jump right into sexual activity and we might not even emotionally feel ready. In this episode with Cindy Scharkey, we are honing in on sex in postpartum. The fourth trimester is truly that, a FOURTH trimester and should be treated as such. Cindy discusses how that really is a societal change that we all need to make because it's sending the wrong message to new mothers. As an RN, who's been a healthcare professional for over 35 years. And the...
2022-02-1631 minMamas in Training: Preparing for Pregnancy & MotherhoodEP102- How to Navigate Sex During Pregnancy with Cindy Scharkey“Let's talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me.” YUP! We're talking all things sex in pregnancy today. However, there is a relationship that we must explore first before we can begin to tackle any of the questions that come up about what is safe, normal or healthy and that is… your own, personal sexual relationship. Cindy Scharkey is an RN with a Bachelor of Science and Nursing, and has been a healthcare professional for over 35 years. She believes that with the right information and education, women can reclaim their sexual experience and their sexual relationship. And that...
2022-02-0932 minPermission for PleasureSex on the BrainDid you know your brain is your most important sex organ?! This quickie episode is an introduction to the roll your brain plays in sexual response. There is a two-part system, an accelerator and a brake. A lot of people think there might be something wrong with their ON or accelerator, but most often the issues are with your OFF or brake. Listen and learn about questions to ask yourself that will help you to investigate what might be turning you ON or OFF.ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual...
2022-02-0913 minPermission for PleasureThe Truth About Desire: Part 1Do you want to know how sexual desire actually works and how to cultivate it? Dr. Lori Brotto shares the research-based truth about desire in this two-part episode. Part One includes the causes of low desire, and the things that affect it. If you thought it was all about the hormones, Brotto says, “Mood, sense of well-being, body image, self-esteem, and how a woman feels about her partner turned out to be far stronger predictors of her level of sexual desire than a single hormone.” What you hear in this conversation might literally transform your sex life! Dr. Lori...
2022-01-2623 minPermission for PleasureThe Truth About Desire: Part 2“Attention training through mindfulness may be part of the recipe for cooking up sexual desire.” Dr. Lori Brotto and I continue our conversation about desire. Part Two gets practical, providing helpful tools to cultivate desire. Our discussion includes: the power of attention training and mindfulness, why sexual communication is essential, and the value of variety in encouraging arousal and desire in women.Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC, dire...
2022-01-2621 minPermission for PleasureWhy Sex Ed Really MattersSilence is the enemy of sexual health education and most people go through life experiencing this silence. Join Dr. Kristen Mark and I for a discussion about why sex education really matters for our children, for adults, and for all of us throughout our lifespan. We can never truly have enough education about sexuality because we are constantly changing, as are our bodies and relationships. You’ll hear what the data shows about comprehensive sex education, how couples can navigate sexual difficulties, and the importance of pleasure as part of the conversation!Kristen Mark, PhD, MPH, CSE is...
2022-01-1235 minPermission for PleasureWelcome to Season Two!Welcome 2022 and Season Two! This podcast is designed to help women express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. We’ll be having more rich conversations with experts, plenty of sexual health education, and a whole lot of learning how to talk about sex. This community is a place where you will hear good education, gain confidence, and be prompted to open your own conversations about all things sexual health. Cheers to giving ourselves permission for pleasure!ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex...
2022-01-0502 minPermission for PleasureThe Big O Remix: Bonus EpisodeA bonus episode all about orgasms! We have combined a few highlights of the many conversations we have had about the Big O in Season One. From faking them to ranking them, this remix is full of facts and healthy reframes for learning to experience more pleasure. Thank you for being a part of this podcast community, and please follow the show on your favorite listening platform. Cheers to the New Year and giving yourself more permission for pleasure!Episodes 1, 2, 9, 11 & 19Featured Guests:Dr. Laurie Mintz - Episode 2 (3:39) Dr. Erica Marchand - Episode 9 (5:14)D...
2021-12-2917 minPermission for PleasureQuickies and KissesJust in time for holiday season, here is a quickie episode about sex and connection when you’re short on time. Listen for some reasons why quickies can be a valuable part of your sexy lineup, and a few ideas to try. Now, about those kisses. Are you hungry for kisses that mean something? Kisses that are more than a mere gesture? Here’s my thoughts on kisses that move you toward connection, the savoring kind!Take the SURVEYwww.cindyscharkey.comORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your...
2021-12-1510 minPermission for PleasureLove Languages, Dates & Gift IdeasMy daughter joins me for this holiday episode where we discuss the 5 Love Languages, some tools for emotional connection and several gift ideas. I share a few of my marriage mantras and three sexy date suggestions for couples. Click the link below to take the 2 minute survey I created for your give feedback about the podcast! Take the SURVEYwww.cindyscharkey.comNewsletter Marriage365 use code PLEASUREPODCAST25 * Dame use code CINDY10* Ohnut use code CINDY* I may earn money from purchases on these links.O...
2021-12-0123 minPermission for PleasurePleasure after TraumaDr. Holly Richmond says, “Your sexual trauma doesn’t inform your sexuality; it misinforms it.” Join us for a compassionate discussion about recovery, healing and pleasure after sexual trauma. Holly and I discuss her research based insights about control, pleasure, and connection for thriving. This conversation centers on practices and hopeful guidance for survivors and those who love them. And because healing and recovery is not a solitary process, there is advice here for all of us.www.cindyscharkey.comSupporting Survivors EpisodeRead my review of Holly's book My affiliate link for 10% off her on...
2021-11-1733 minPermission for PleasureRelieving Mental LoadThe Mental Load is the running to do list that we carry around in our minds. Although it is often invisible, it has a big impact on our relationship, our sexual desire and our stress level. Dr. Morgan Cutlip joins me for a discussion about what the Mental Load looks like in our everyday lives and how couples can manage it together. You’ll hear lots of communication starters and very practical tips to help you ‘off-load’ and free up mental space for a healthier relationship and a healthier YOU! www.cindyscharkey.comMorgan Cutlip...
2021-11-0339 minPermission for PleasureG Marks the SpotThis quickie episode answers commonly asked questions about the G-spot. You’ll learn if there really is a spot, how to find yours, and the best ways to stimulate this potential erogenous zone. I also talk about how and why women vary in regards to pleasure experienced with this area, as well as the importance of arousal in the process. www.cindyscharkey.comORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good SexFOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
2021-10-2008 minPermission for PleasureYour Body After BabyWendy Powell, founder of MUTU, joins me for an honest and hopeful conversation about women’s bodies after babies. We talk about sex, exercise, and all the challenges women may face after carrying and birthing a whole human. The truth is that while many physical issues are common, this does not make them normal! We discuss the difference and how you can move toward a healthier body. Whether your baby is 6 weeks old or 16 years old, this episode is for you! You’ll hear real talk, practical advice and encouragement for you and your body....
2021-10-0639 minPermission for PleasureDating Your BodyIf you want to tap into your sensuality, learn how to listen and reconnect to your body, or investigate changing the negative narrative around your body - this nourishing episode is for you. Aurora Allen introduces us to the concept of “Taking our body out for a date" and learning how to listen to our bodies. She shares profoundly simple practices to help us move toward more grounded, connected, and embodied lives. Aurora Allen, M.A, RYTP-500, is a somatic and embodiment coach and certified yoga instructor. www.wellalignedwoman.comLearn more about these top...
2021-09-2237 minThe Ultimate Intimacy Podcast30. It's All About The Clitoris! The Key To Unlocking Female Pleasure with Cindy ScharkeyNick and Amy interview Cindy Scharkey with the "Permission For Pleasure" Podcast. Cindy is passionate about opening the doors for women to have conversations about expressing, experiencing and enjoying their sexuality. In this episode, they talk about how the clitoris is literally the "key" to unlocking female pleasure. For women who would like to find intimacy more enjoyable and better understand their bodies, and husbands who want to better understand where and how to please your wife, this episode is for you!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the...
2021-09-0838 minPermission for PleasureLet’s Go Girls: Maddie from LondonThis is the second episode in our special series where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women have learned about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. Maddie, from London, joins me for a conversation about demisexuality and the importance of not shying away from what makes us different. We also talk about communication, embodiment, and the practice of noticing and valuing your body and how things make you feel physically. This discussion gave me goosebumps, the good kind!www.cindyscharkey.comAsk a questionFind MaddieORDER...
2021-09-0833 minPermission for PleasurePracticing Flow State SexHow do we make good sex … great? Dr. Emily Jamea joins me to talk about specific tools for optimal sexual experiences and what the research shows works! We discuss finding your sexual flow for higher sexual satisfaction, sensuality and eroticism in long term relationships and the importance of curiosity and practice for developing and maintaining a vibrant sex life worth wanting!www.cindyscharkey.comEmily Jamea, PhD, LMFT, LPC is a sex and relationship therapist, researcher, and author. In addition to running her Houston-based private therapy practice, REVIVE therapy & healing, she offers online workshops, conducts ac...
2021-08-2532 minPermission for PleasureYay for 5K! A Surprise Pleasure ExerciseI am celebrating our growing community with this surprise episode! Yay for 5K downloads! This pleasure exercise will guide you through focused and intentional touch. I hope it’s nourishing for you. Thank you for listening, following and sharing the podcast. Cheers to giving yourself more permission for pleasure!ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good SexFOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkeyVISIT my website and blog
2021-08-1806 minPermission for PleasureSexual ScriptsWhat is a sexual script? Simply put, they are guidelines and shoulds that we have taken in, which shape and influence our expectations and behaviors about sex. Aoife Drury, a Dublin psychotherapist, joins me for a conversation about common sexual scripts and how they become woven into our sexuality. We discuss where they come from, what they sound like in our thoughts and how to rewrite the narrative. As Aoife says, “Recognize that you have a pen, and you write the rest of your book as you see fit.”www.cindyscharkey.comAoife...
2021-08-1134 minPermission for PleasureLube Lube LubeWhat have you heard about sex and lube? That lube is just for “old ladies?” That “getting wet” is the indicator of arousal and desire? This quickie episode covers the facts about lubrication, female arousal, types of lube and recommendations to try. Learn why couples say adding lube into their sex life is a “Game Changer!”www.cindyscharkey.comVisit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and receive 15% off with code CINDYORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good SexF...
2021-07-2813 minPermission for PleasureMyth-Busting: Part TwoDr. Uchenna Ossai and I continue our conversation about common myths people believe about sexual health. In part two we discuss simultaneous orgasms with a partner, what low libido is and isn’t, female sexual dysfunction, and pornography. This myth-busters episode offers facts and alternatives to reframe and nourish your healthy sexuality.www.cindyscharkey.comDr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator and counselor. She is assistant professor at the UT Dell Medical School and pelvic health program manager at UT Health Austin.Youseelogic.comVisit...
2021-07-1420 minPermission for PleasureMyth-Busting: Part OnePart 1Dr. Uchenna Ossai joins me for a thoughtful discussion busting some of the common myths people believe about sexual health. In part one we talk about orgasms, pleasure, foundational sexual beliefs, our mind and sex, and orgasming alone vs partnered. After hearing this episode, one listener said, “This was like a free therapy session - anyone could have some really excellent takeaways from this conversation!”www.cindyscharkey.comDr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator and counselor. She is assistant professor at the UT Dell Medical School a...
2021-07-1427 minPermission for PleasureLet’s Go Girls: Hailey from PasadenaThis is a Special Episode, where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women hear about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. Hailey from Pasadena is my first guest and we talk about curiosity, consent, and both the silence and common narratives that many women take in who grow up in a conservative community. www.cindyscharkey.comSign up for my newsletterAsk a questionORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenJOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good...
2021-06-3038 minPermission for PleasureLet’s Talk OrgasmsDr. Erica Marchand joins me for a conversation about female orgasms and pleasure. Are orgasms a learnable skill? What are the components necessary for orgasm? Do orgasms really look like we see in the media? Dr. Erica and I answer these questions as well as why women fake them, do we need to rank them, and more about the Big O.Erica Marchand, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles and the creator of the Big O Masterclass, an online course that uses sex therapy principles to help women learn to have orgasms, by themselves...
2021-06-1631 min