Shows
Never Was A GamerReturn to Mass Effect | Episode 53Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're looking back at some of Michelle's formative games for once - the Mass Effect series, Bioware's space marine RPG trilogy. This is a long, rambly episode that is a bit of a change from our usual format, but we'll be back in 2 weeks with our last (more traditional) game episode, featuring the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Oh, it's a legend alright!
Enjoy and we'll talk soon.
2022-02-241h 12Never Was A GamerWrapping Up 2021 (and Final Fantasy Tactics) | Episode 52Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're saying our last goodbyes to 2021 and the games we played.... including the last chapter of Final Fantasy Tactics! We briefly talk through the ending and what Tactics amounts to after 100 hours of playtime, then dig into some of the trends that shaped our 2021 in games, and finally conclude with some thoughts on the future of the show.
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro
1.38 Wrapping up Final Fantasy Tactics
19.00 "Games in Michelle's Wheelhouse" didn't really work
21.15 BREAK
22.00 Wrapping up our 2021
1.07.00 BREAK
1.07.30 The fut...
2022-01-201h 12Never Was A GamerFinal Fantasy Tactics: Diorama fighter | Episode 51Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're diving into Final Fantasy Tactics - or at least the first 3/4 of it! Come on, Michelle's playtime is like 90 hours. Maybe we should have looked up the zodiac metrics after all....
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro
3.00 Tactics games
18.50 Final Fantasy Tactics context
46.30 BREAK
47.00 Final Fantasy-ness
2022-01-061h 23Never Was A GamerHoliday Awards and Gift Exchange 2021 | Episode 50Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're continuing our now-annual tradition of wrapping up the calendar year with a light episode of awards and a gift exchange. Dimitri and Michelle each gave each other a game that they thought the other would like, and so to break up the awards we're also discussing the sensational first-person photography shooter, "Umurangi Generation," and the high concept open world detective game, "Paradise Killer".
Stay safe and have a very cozy holiday!
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro: Cozy December games (Unpacking, etc)
7.45 Awards: Naughtiest Boy
10.50 Bad Dad...
2021-12-231h 25Never Was A GamerUndertale: Alphys is not my friend | Episode 49Today on Never Was A Gamer, we continue our year-end arc of games in Michelle's wheelhouse with the weird world of Undertale! There's so much to say about this game - not about Sans though. He's just a guy.
We'll be back in 2 weeks with our holiday episode!
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro
1.00 Michelle's history with Undertale
10.45 Actual history of Undertale
17.10 Starting over
31.30 BREAK
32.30 The battle system
47.40 The problem of Alphys (Mettaton rules)
59.30 Asgore, endings, and the big picture
1.14.00 Final thoughts
2021-12-091h 18Never Was A GamerSystem Shock 2: You win some, you lose some | Episode 48Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're discussing System Shock 2!... mostly the first 2 hours of it, because for the first time in the history of the show, we both bounced off the game (for very different reasons). We're digging into what we liked (lots!) and why we quit, and trying to think through the broader experience of bouncing off a game that you generally like. Please, come sit in our failures with us.
Timecodes:
1.00 Why System Shock 2?
9.45 Immersive sims
13.00 5 times Michelle loved System Shock 2....
40.00 ... and one time she didn't.
52...
2021-11-261h 21Never Was A GamerGrab Bag: Spooky movie adaptaions - House of the Dead vs Resident Evil | Episode 47Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're capping off our licenced games arc with a grab bag episodes where we're discussing spooky movies that are based on spooky games (allegedly)! How does Resident Evil's lonely, tense survival horror aesthetic translate to film? What does 'House of the Dead' branding add to your basic zombie flick? We'll never know because the directors didn't think about any of that! Here's what they did instead.
Timecodes:
1.00 Grab Bag: Spooky movies based on games
2.00 Silent Hill 2 update!
7:30 House of the Dead (2003)
52.00 BREAK
52.4...
2021-10-281h 26Never Was A GamerBatman: Arkham Asylum - Indoor Gargoyles Are Good | Episode 46Today we're rounding out our licenced games arc with a game that Dimitri provocatively and immediately calls "one of the 5 most influential games of the last 10 or 15 years," Batman: Arkham Asylum. Provocative! Meanwhile, Michelle provocatively defends Poison Ivy. Lotta takes in this one.
Timecodes:
1.45 Our histories with Batman games
9.30 What is Batman: Arkham Asylum?
13.00 This game's innovations
35.00 BREAK
35.30 Villains and story
1.18.30 Final thoughts
2021-10-141h 21Never Was A GamerBlade Runner: What kind of man is Ray McCoy? | Episode 45Today on Never Was A Gamer, our "licenced games" arc continues with the 1997 point-and-click adventure detective game, Blade Runner! We had two very different play-throughs of this very interesting game. You'll never guess who committed several murders!
Timecodes:
3.40 Listener mail
7.35 Our history with Blade Runner
9.45 Our history with point and clicks
14.00 Blade Runner as a point and click adventure game
24.00 What is this game anyway?
36.45 BREAK
37.50 Our highly divergent playthroughs
1.23.00 Final thoughts and conclusions
2021-09-301h 33Never Was A GamerGoldenEye 007: Can love bloom on a battlefield? | Episode 44Today on Never Was A Gamer, it's the next installment in our arc on licenced games, with the formative first-person shooter, GoldenEye 007. Have you rewatched that movie lately? We did, and we sure do disagree about whether it works.
Timecodes:
1.00 Licenced games
5.00 GoldenEye 007
10.15 The film experience
15.00 Our histories with the game
23.15 But do you feel like James Bond?
34.45 BREAK
35.00 Levels in GoldenEye 007
55.10 Ok but multiplayer
1.05.00 Final anecdotes and thoughts
2021-09-161h 10Never Was A GamerSnap Judgment: The Sega Master System | Episode 43Today we're flipping through Dimitri's childhood games catalogue for the Sega Master System, a system that was formative for him and which Michelle has barely heard of! Join us for a quick spin through some easy-to-miss classics, and also Dynamite Dux.
Timecodes:
2.30 Dimitri's history with the Sega Master System
9.10 Ghostbusters
15.12 Master System mascots: Wonderboy
28.10 Master System mascots: Alex Kidd and Miracle World
34.40 Master System mascots: Alex Kidd in Shinobi World
38.40 BREAK
39.30 Dynamite Dux
46.30 Co-op games: Quartet
52.30 Co-op games: Rampage
57...
2021-09-021h 01Never Was A GamerMario Sports: Sports but barely! | Episode 42Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're continuing our "We Hate Sports" arc by looking at 3 entries in the Mario Sports saga for Game Cube: Mario Golf Toadstool Tour, Mario Power Tennis, and Super Mario Strikers. (That one's soccer... sort of. There's a weird amount of interpersonal violence.)
Timecodes:
2.00 Mario Sports.
6.45 Our histories with these games.
12.00 Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour.
28.00 BREAK.
28.30 Mario Power Tennis.
46.00 Super Mario Strikers.
2021-08-191h 03Never Was A GamerWWF No Mercy: You gotta let 'em know | Episode 41Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're diving deep on one of Dimitri's formative childhood games, WWF No Mercy! For the second episode of our "We Hate Sports" arc, we're testing the limits of Michelle's love of lore and Dimitri's ability to explain minor wrestling factions from the late 90s. Enjoy!
Timecodes:
2.00 Wrestling games as party games.
4.30 The most cursed lore.
7.45 Predecessors to No Mercy.
9.45 No Mercy and staging a good match.
27.50 BREAK
28.30 The grappling system.
39.10 Our walk-through: Switchblade Kelley!!!
2021-08-051h 10Never Was A GamerTony Hawk's Pro Skater: The spirit of ska is with us tonight | Episode 40Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're gonna tear up the abandoned school and the abandoned mall and the streets of Minneapolis with Tony Hawk's Pro Skater!
We're kicking off a new arc today, which we're calling We Hate Sports! We're going to be tackling sort-of-sports games that made an impact on even the least athletic among us.
Timecodes:
1.45 The new arc: We Hate Sports!
2.20 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
5.00 Our history with skate culture
9.00 Development history
22.15 BREAK
22.50 What do you want from a skating g...
2021-07-221h 06Never Was A GamerSnap Judgment: E3 1999 | Episode 39Today on Never Was A Gamer, we've got another Snap Judgment episode, in which we're sampling a bunch of games from the show floor of E3 1999. Michelle played a booth demo's worth of 13 games and reports back on the highs and lows of a pretty good year.
Timecodes:
2.10 Why E3 1999?
8.15 Show floor.
16.10 Jurassic Park: Warpath.
20.02 Chocobo Racing.
23.26 Dino Crisis.
BREAK, 26.40
30.10 Star Wars Episode 1: Pod Racer.
32.10 Donkey Kong 64.
39.30 Omikron: The Nomad Soul.
BREAK, 44.55
48.30 Sonic Adventure.
53.50 Crazy Taxi.
54.45 Pow...
2021-07-081h 11Never Was A GamerSpelunky: Procedural anecdote generator | Episode 38Today on Never Was A Gamer, we are plunging deep into Derek Yu's groundbreaking roguelike platformer, Spelunky! Michelle enters with one question: why is this all my favourite game designers' favourite game? We leave with ANSWERS.
Timecodes:
2.45 Roguelikes.
12.30 How Spelunky happened.
BREAK
21.25 Our expectations for the gameplay.
28.00 Zones, levels, and details.
BREAK
42.00 Playing with genre: progression.
52.00 Is it a platformer?
1.05.00 Last thoughts.
2021-06-241h 09Never Was A GamerBraid: Time Will Tell | Episode 37Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're continuing with our Indie Boom arc by looking at bona fide indie auteur Jonathan "Joe" Blow's first game, Braid. Join us as we argue about puzzles and Michelle struggles to remember the game's core mechanic.
Timecodes:
1.10 A word about Playdate!
6.45 Introducing Braid (and Jonathan Blow).
BREAK
20.00 What Michelle knew going in.
22.00 Narrative, meaning, and mechanics.
BREAK
40.10 Worlds and puzzles.
1.10.10 Final thoughts.
2021-06-101h 12Never Was A GamerBastion: The Indie Boom, Supergiant Games, and Tech SolutionismToday on Never Was A Gamer, we're kicking off our arc on the Indie Boom of 2008-2012 with Bastion, the very first game from Supergiant. We're both huge fans of Hades, so it was really fun to discover (and revisit) this old trendsetter.
Timecodes:
2.00 Introducing our new arc: The Indie Boom!
3.15 What is an indie, exactly?
BREAK
23.40 Our history with Supergiant Games.
28.40 What is Bastion?
31.40 The narrator.
38.45 How Bastion tells its story.
BREAK
55.30 Gameplay, weapons, and standout levels.
2021-05-271h 11Never Was A GamerSnap Judgment: Classic Beat 'Em Ups | Episode 35Today on Never Was A Gamer, let's be dudes and play beat 'em ups! We're doing a sampler set of classic games in a quest to figure out what we actually want from this genre.
Timecodes:
1.30 Our history with the genre.
8.55 How to evaluate these games.
BREAK
16.35 What we played: Final Fight.
24.45 The Simpsons.
31.45 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time.
BREAK
42.25 Streets of Rage 2.
BREAK
53.15 Final Fight 3.
1.08.15 Final thoughts.
2021-05-131h 13Never Was A GamerHeavy Rain: What's the deal with David Cage? | Episode 34Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're digging into Heavy Rain, the breakthrough game for self-styled auteur David Cage. This one got really silly and then real serious - it's meaty because we were having such a great time digging through this game's ambitions and its various successes and failures. Safe to say it got under both of our skins, but not necessarily in the way Cage would have imagined. Enjoy!
Timecodes:
0.55 What's Michelle's beef with David Cage?
4.00 Choosing Heavy Rain.
8.30 What is Heavy Rain?
15.00 What is it like to pla...
2021-04-291h 22Never Was A GamerCrash Bandicoot: Can we find a way to love him? | Episode 33Today on Never Was A Gamer, Michelle is finally facing up to her most closely held prejudices and playing Crash Bandicoot 1-3! We went on quite a journey, and we've compiled our learnings into our 10 Commandments for 2.5D Platformers.
Timecodes:
1.00 This arc: Games Michelle expects to hate.
5.00 Why do you hate Crash?
9.00 The platform character mascot boom.
20.00 Our journey through Crash 1-3.
30.25 Some baffling design decisions made in Crash 1.
BREAK
36.05 Our 10 Commandments for 2.5D Platformers.
1.11.20 Last thoughts.
2021-04-151h 16Never Was A GamerGod of War 2: Will I hate Kratos? | Episode 32Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're kicking off our arc of games that Michelle expects to hate with some mid-2000's angst in God of War 2! For the next 3 episodes, we're playing games that Michelle has never played and knows very little about, but somehow still expects to hate. Will these games be redeemed? Can she find something to love? Will her prejudices be validated? Only time will tell!
Timecodes:
2021-04-011h 16Never Was A GamerSnap Judgment: Producing Specific Emotions | Episode 31Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're wrapping up our arc on unusual mechanics with another Snap Judgment episode! We're looking at games that produce specific emotions in a small period of time. This one's a real journey!
Timecodes:
0.45 Wrapping up our arc on unusual mechanics.
9.15 Snap Judgment: Producing Specific Emotions!
11.05 Emotion #1: Overwhelmed: Silver Surfer.
17.00 ok how about Contra 3 then?
BREAK
24.45 Emotion #2: Disgust: Boogerman - A Pick and Flick Adventure.
BREAK
42.50 Emotion #3: Peaceful: Harvest Moon.
BREAK
56.30 Emotion #4: Abandoned: LSD Dream Emulato...
2021-03-181h 12Never Was A GamerDonkey Kong Jungle Beat: Peripherals and Donkey Kongness | Episode 30Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're talking about the last full game in our arc on unusual, focused mechanics: Donkey Kong Jungle Beat! It's the closest you can come to owning a full bongo drum peripheral without having to clear a space in your tiny apartment closet.
We're talking about video game peripherals, immersion, the limits of the gamer body, and how the hell Nintendo came to make a mainline Donkey Kong game that you play with a set of damn bongos. Join us!
Timecodes:
1.25 Peripherals and unusual mechanics.
10.40 Donkey Konga. ...
2021-03-041h 13Never Was A GamerWarioWare, Inc: Toys, Game Dev, and Dys4ia | Episiode 29Today on Never Was A Gamer, we played WarioWare, Inc: Mega Microgames, and we have mega stuff to say about it! Join us for a fun conversation about working at Nintendo, games as the opposite of art, going into a hyperfocus trance, and Anna Anthropy's incredible Dys4ia (2012). It's a good one!
Timecodes:
3.45 What is WarioWare, Inc?
5.45 What is Wario, actually?
13.05 How did this game happen?
BREAK
21.30 Playing the game.
36.00 Wario's (mostly) cool friends.
BREAK
55.46 Then, there's Anna Anthropy's Dys4ia.
1.04.00 What, i...
2021-02-181h 14Never Was A GamerKatamari Damacy: Scale, songs, and Takahashi's regretsToday on Never Was A Gamer, we're kicking off our second season with Katamari Damacy!
This season, we're changing our format a bit. Instead of spending 2 episodes on each game, we're organizing episodes into "arcs": groups of 3-4 episodes where we tackle games that explore a certain theme. Katamari Damacy is the first game and episode in our first arc, which we're calling "unusual mechanics-driven games" - games that stood out for their focus on their own distinctive mechanics, mostly from the early 2000s. Join us - this one is pretty special!
Timecodes:
1.00 Int...
2021-02-041h 22Never Was A GamerSnap Judgment: Unexpected Collaborations | Episode 27Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're taking a break from big iconic games for our first Snap Judgment episode! We're taking a look at a few games that resulted from surprising collaborations between established franchises and developers that wouldn't normally touch them. And boy, there are some doozies in here!
We'll be back in 2 weeks with our official start to Season 2.
Timecodes:
1.00 What's a Snap Judgment?
4.00 Unexpected collaborations!
8.00 Star Fox Adventures (Rare, N64).
BREAK for a great song.
35.50 Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (Platinum, PS3).
57.45 W...
2021-01-211h 21Never Was A GamerDark Souls (Part 2): Walking a mile in Smough's Toe Shoes | Episode 26Today on Never Was A Gamer: it's finally time to talk Dark Souls, baby.
Timecodes:
2.00 What is Dark Souls?
6.20 Runs?
9.30 Exploring.
14.45 Locations & world.
20.45 The Blight Town Special.
BREAK
24.55 Difficulty.
32.35 Combat.
BREAK
44.00 Bosses.
52.45 Ok but boss balance (aka Ornstein & Smough).
1.00.25 Duels.
1.07.00 Cheesing.
1.09.30 Narrative.
BREAK
1.15.40 Verdict on Dark Souls.
1.22.07 Predictions.
1.24.11 Score.
1.26.25 Wrap on Season 1!
2021-01-071h 29Never Was A GamerHoliday Awards and Gift Exchange 2020 | Episode 25Today on Never Was A Gamer, it's the holidays and we are going to be festive if it kills us! In honour of our favourite year-end traditions (retrospectives, GOTYs, and the hot corny mess that is The Game Awards) we are settling to give out some awards, exchange some gifts, and toast to the end of 2020 and Season 1 of this show and the start of something new.
In this episode we chat about the original Pikmin and one of Michelle's favourite indie releases of the year, Signs of the Sojourner from Echodog Games.
Timecodes:
2020-12-241h 24Never Was A GamerDark Souls (Part 1): I'm sure it's not that hard | Episode 24Today on Never Was A Gamer: we're nearing the end of Season 1, and it's time for Michelle to face off against the From Software classic, Dark Souls! She'll have to apply everything she's learned this season to this final challenge.
Timecodes:
0.00 - Introduction.
3.15 - What Michelle knows about Dark Souls.
BREAK
23.40 - History of Souls.
BREAK
40.00 - Putting all of Michelle's skills to the test.
53.50 - Predictions.
2020-12-1057 minNever Was A GamerOcarina of Time (Pt 2): We promise not to discuss the Zelda timelineToday on Never Was A Gamer, we've finally played The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time!
Timecodes:
1.00 A formal apology.
5.00 Transition to 3D.
25.00 An inhabited world.
BREAK
30.20 Dungeons!
38.25 As whole spaces.
46.00 Shadow Temple.
51.00 Gerudo fortress.
54.20 Water Temple.
BREAK
59.30 What is "Zeldaness"?
1.22.35 Predictions
1.24.30 Score.
2020-11-261h 28Never Was A GamerLegend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Part 1): Topping lists since 1998 | Episode 22Today on Never Was A Gamer: it's the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time! This will be our second Zelda game and our last stop before the season concludes with Michelle tackling Dark Souls.
Timecodes:
0.55 The night before FromSoft.
2.40 Why a second Zelda?
6:45 What Michelle knows about OOT.
9.45 What about 3d?
BREAK
16.30 History of OOT
36.30 Promotional materials for OOT
BREAK
47.00 Playing the original Legend of Zelda (NES)
51.00 "Best games" and what is just too early?
1.0...
2020-11-121h 09Never Was A GamerSilent Hill (Part 2): Gynomancy, and also running around in circles | Episode 21Today on Never Was A Gamer, we've finally played Silent Hill! Be sure to check our twitter, @neverwasagamer, and tell me that's not a damn pterodactyl.
We didn't fully explain this in the episode, but at one point the game tells you someone has been practicing gyromancy, which Michelle maybe misread as gynomancy. But like, if you think about it, who's really wrong here?
Spoilers for the first Silent Hill game.
Timecodes:
1.28 Dimitri is vindicated (sort of).
2.37 What is Silent Hill though.
5.30 First impressions.
11.00 Horror mecha...
2020-10-291h 13Never Was A GamerSilent Hill (Part 1): Drag me to hell | Episode 20Today on Never Was A Gamer: it's the first Silent Hill game!
Timecodes:
1.30 Why Silent Hill 1?
5.00 Dimitri's horror history ("an even bigger baby")
7.00 Do we like horror?
10.45 What do we like or dislike?
16.45 Scary stuff in non-horror games.
BREAK
25.20 History of survival horror.
44.50 Silent Hill arrives.
BREAK
48.57 Promoting Silent Hill.
1.00.27 Predictions.
2020-10-151h 03Never Was A GamerGTA Vice City (Part 2): Tommy just loves crime | Episode 19Today on Never Was A Gamer, we've played Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, and we really aren't sure how to feel about it. This is a weird episode - it's the first time Michelle has come away from one of these games lukewarm and conflicted. Picking that apart lead us down an interesting road of examining what we need from emergent gameplay, how legible a satire or pastiche this is, and the importance of vibes (both the game's and our own). It's a good one!
Timecodes:
1.00 So what did we like?
15.00 What is th...
2020-10-011h 22Never Was A GamerGTA Vice City (Part 1): It's real classy, ok | Episode 18Today on Never Was A Gamer, we're getting ready to play Grand Theft Auto: Vice City!
Timecodes:
1.10 Will we vibe?
4.00 Checking in on Dave's Play magazine.
8.30 What Michelle knows about GTA.
16.00 And Rockstar specifically.
BREAK
28.15 Open worlds.
40.45 History of GTA.
BREAK
51.05 Looking at promo for GTA Vice City.
57.20 Nightline investigation.
1.15.30 Predictions.
Promo materials:
Classy opera TV ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIOR2A6-Gio
Please treat yourse...
2020-09-171h 19Never Was A GamerStreet Fighter 2 vs Mortal Kombat 2 (Part 2): Baraka bummerToday on Never Was A Gamer: we choose a victor between Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat 2!
Timecodes:
1.30 First impressions.
16.00 Why is Street Fighter better.
BREAK
25.50 Choosing Street Fighter characters.
32.30 Choosing Mortal Kombat characters.
39.25 Revisiting Michelle's criteria.
BREAK
1.03.20 Criteria (continued).
1.29.00 Adding it all up.
1.42.20 Predictions.
2020-09-031h 46Never Was A GamerStreet Fighter II vs Mortal Kombat II (Part 1): Choose your fighter | Episode 16Today on Never Was A Gamer, two great fighting games fight! We're talking about Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat 2.
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro.
2.15 Is this From Soft prep?
4.30 What does Michelle know?
6.30 Smash! Character choice.
BREAK
21.10 History of Street Fighter 2.
43.25 History of Mortal Kombat 2.
BREAK
1.02.15 Selecting Michelle's starting characters.
1.12.20 Criteria for judging these games.
1.17.40 Predictions.
To see the ads and media we talked about in the history section, check out our Twitter @NeverWasAGamer.
2020-08-201h 22Never Was A GamerJRPGs (Part 2): FFVIIR FREVRToday on Never Was A Gamer: what did Final Fantasy 7 Remake teach us about JRPGs?
NOTE: This is a really fun episode, but Michelle has some thoughts on the Corneo Mansion scene that require a content warning (CW) for discussions of sexual violence involving drugging, transmisogyny, and homophobia. It's at the very end of the episode, after the score, and it's clearly marked and introduced in the pod, so we hope you will dip out after the score (around 1.22.00) if you need to avoid those topics today. xo
Timecodes:
1.00 Risking it all fo...
2020-08-061h 28Never Was A GamerJRPGs (Part 1): Never show us the party | Episode 14Today on Never Was A Gamer: finally, a topic we both actually know something about - JRPGs!
Timecodes:
1.25 Why is this an episode?
3.15 Dimitri's history.
21.20 Are JRPGs extra dorky or just the regular amount?
BREAK
27.50 What is still special about JRPGs?
BREAK
1.05.25 Scale and story.
1.12.26 Growth and the numbers game.
1.23.10 Our blind spots and the plan for Part 2.
2020-07-231h 26Never Was A GamerHalf-Life (Part 2): Barney Rubble | Episode 13Today on Never Was A Gamer, we've finally played Half-Life!
Timecodes:
1.30 She likes it!
6.40 Black Mesa.
12.03 Platforming?
15.55 Weapons.
22.35 Music.
BREAK
26.30 Storytelling!
32.18 G-Man, humans, aliens, characters.
37.28 Is this a smarter AI?
41.15 Mouse & keyboard, 1st person games.
BREAK
50.35 Console training.
52.00 Opening sequence.
55.30 Best and worst chapters: Blast Pit, On A Rail, Surface Tension, Forget About Freeman.
1.08.38 Let's talk about Xen baby.
1.13.22 Xihilanth.
1.21.10 Predictions & score.
2020-07-091h 27Never Was A GamerHalf-Life (Part 1): Run, Think, Shoot, Live, Never See Your Feet | Episode 12Today on Never Was A Gamer: it's Half-Life on PC!
Timecodes:
1.10 Checking in on our From Software mission.
5.45 What Michelle knows about Half-Life.
9.50 Michelle's history with 1st person shooters.
BREAK
28.05 Playing through FPS history (Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, Quake II).
BREAK
52.30 History of Half-Life.
1.14.25 Predictions.
Promo Materials:
PC Gamer ad 1997
PC Gamer assassin ad
Jan 1999 ad
Computer Gaming World 1998 ad
CGW 1997 ad (drill sargeant)
Back of box
2020-06-251h 17Never Was A GamerSuper Mario 64 (Part 2): Bowser's home reno-vasion!! | Episode 11Today on Never Was a Gamer, we've finally played Super Mario 64!
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro.
1.45 First impressions.
11.20 Opening screens and the hub world.
BREAK
27.20 Structure & stars.
BREAK
39.35 Movement in 3D.
50.35 64 vs traditional Marios.
56.30 Bowser and the bosses.
1.04.10 The Players Guide Issue.
BREAK
1.10.10 Specific worlds: highlights.
1.28.00 Specific worlds: not-highlights.
1.30.30 Hopes for an HD Remaster.
1.35.00 Predictions.
1.37.20 Final score.
2020-06-111h 39Never Was A GamerSuper Mario 64 (Part 1): Apologies to Steve Greaves, A Literal Child | Episode 10Today on Never Was A Gamer: it's Super Mario 64! We've got fond memories and the wildest VHS footage Michelle has ever seen.
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro.
2.15 Did you see a speed run?
10.20 What is it about Mario games?
14.00 Coming into the N64 era.
15.20 Mario vs Donkey Kong.
20.30 ok but dk64...
24.00 What Michelle knows about Super Mario 64.
BREAK
28.50 Promo for SM64.
33.35 Launching the N64.
45.00 First glance of SM64.
51.30 Anticipating movement in 3D.
1.02.10 Print ads!
1.05.45 ...
2020-05-281h 24Never Was A GamerShadow of the Colossus (Part 2): Every living lizard is a failure to RP | Episode 9Today on Never Was A Gamer, we've finally played Shadow of the Colossus!
In the course of our discussion, we also mention a game we both love called Realistic Kissing Simulator, by Jimmy Andrews and Loren Schmidt. It's free and you can play it in about 30 seconds, so please do: http://jimmylands.com/experiments/kissing/.
Timecodes:
0.49 So how do you feel?
3.00 Structure of the game.
9.50 Agro/Argo.
13.30 The camera: friend or foe?
15.35 The world.
17.50 The Plot.
24.50 Gameyness.
BREAK
27.45 ...
2020-05-141h 38Never Was A GamerShadow of the Colossus (Part 1): Pro-boss propaganda | Episode 8Today on Never Was A Gamer, it's Shadow of the Colossus!
We've got some great topics in the mix, including a long conversation about why most bosses are so bad. Along the way, oh boy do we spoil a lot. Spoiler warnings for:
Journey; Brother: A Tale of Two Sons; The Walking Dead (Season 1) (Telltale); Nier: Automata; Final Fantasy 7; Final Fantasy 6; Final Fantasy 8; Bioshock; Bioshock 2; Bioshock Infinite; The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt; Pokemon Red and Blue; Wonderboy; Luigi's Mansion 3; Sonic Mania; Sonic Adventure 2; Mass Effect 1; Sekiro; Dragon Age 2.
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro.
5.16 Sad...
2020-04-301h 38Never Was A GamerLink's Awakening (Part 2) - Rime of the Ancient Marin...er? | Episode 7Today on Never Was A Gamer: it's Link's Awakening, Part 2! It's a fun one, today.
Timecodes:
0.00 Introduction.
2.15 The opening.
7.30 The Zelda formula.
18.10 Surprisingly not that hard.
20.30 The question of Tone (why is Mario here though).
26.50 Is this a Metroidvania?
BREAK
30.45 Dungeons.
38.02 A certain playful antagonism.
40.33 The Eagle's Tower.
46.25 The "difficulty" question.
48.07 Nightmare fuel (aka the Face Dungeon).
BREAK
50.51 What's old and what's new in the 2019 version?
56.45 Another embedded hint s...
2020-04-161h 26Never Was A GamerLink's Awakening (Part 1): A Chicken in Every Pot | Episode 6Today on Never Was A Gamer: it's the Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening!
Timecodes:
0.00 Intro.
2.10 Michelle remembers Link to the Past (sort of).
5.50 Zeldas in general.
12.45 Dimitri's history with Zelda.
17.45 What is an adventure?
35.40 History of GameBoy and Link's Awakening (1993).
44.30 A sprawling adventure on the tiny green screen.
48.35 Down with Zelda! (Ads from '93)
56.45 Which version 'counts'? Remakes, remasters, and whatever elses.
1.18.55 Predictions.
Promo Materials:
Nintendo Power Cover
Preview: 70% Complete
...
2020-04-021h 22Never Was A GamerBonus Episode: What Death Stranding taught us about Metal Gear SolidToday on Never Was A Gamer: a little bonus episode for you! We've played Death Stranding and oh boy do we have a lot to say about it. But that will have to wait for another time, because right now we're talking about what Death Stranding taught us about Metal Gear Solid and Dimitri's hero, Kojima.
When we recorded this episode back in January, we didn't know what Covid-19 was going to become. It feels weird to post this now without acknowledging how weirdly salient Death Stranding feels in this moment, when we're all trying to stay...
2020-03-2634 minNever Was A GamerMetal Gear Solid (Part 2): Dick in a Box | Episode 5Today on Never Was A Gamer: Metal Gear Solid on SNES!
Timecodes:
0:00 Intro & Kojima update.
4:35 MGS and movies.
17:55 Plot & melodrama.
20:58 MGS as a stealth game.
29:50 Boss fights.
44:08 Adventure elements.
45:25 Breaking the 4th wall.
BREAK.
49:55 Dimitri is still mad about the 4th wall thing.
51:10 What does this game think about war?
1:06:50 Gender, genetics, and geopolitics.
1:24:02 Predictions and final score.
2020-03-191h 28Never Was A GamerMetal Gear Solid (Part 1): The Original 'Quiet Man' | Episode 4Today on Never Was A Gamer: Metal Gear Solid for the SNES!
Timecodes:
00:22 Introduction.
01:18 Earthworm Jim: A GameFan Critical Retrospective.
8:45 What's up with Hideo Kojima?
17:25 Is Kojima an auteur? (Is anyone?)
25:27 What does Michelle know about MGS? (Snake in a box)
BREAK.
33:02 Origins of Metal Gear.
38:59 Dimitri recalls the hype cycle for MGS1.
50:05 A letter from Gabe Newell.
52:45 Demo discs!
BREAK.
54:56 Looking at promo materials & concept art.
1:01:05 E3 trailer and TV ad (1998)
1:07:10...
2020-03-051h 42Never Was A GamerSuper Metroid (Part 2): Cartography simulator | Episode 3Today on Never Was A Gamer: Super Metroid on SNES!
Timecodes:
0:00: Overall impressions
22:15: Why does Super Metroid's gameplay work?
42:50: Metroidvanias and nonlinearity
58:10: Cinematic games
1:21:00: The ending (Tourian and onwards)
1:34:30: Predictions
1:37:50: Michelle's Final Score
2020-02-201h 41Never Was A GamerSuper Metroid (Part 1): Is Samus the metroid? | Episode 2Today on Never Was A Gamer: Super Metroid for the SNES!
Timecodes:
0:00: Intro & general impressions
28:20: Our memories of Super Metroid
35:00: Games in 1994
46:30: Advertising for Super Metroid
1:10:00: Predictions
Materials:
Lambshanks ad
Concept art spread
Game Players cover
North American television ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxrACWQvzHw
Japanese television ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aG6c2JOuGuk
2020-02-201h 17
Never Was A GamerEpisode "Zero": Welcome to Never Was A GamerWelcome to Never Was A Gamer, the show where a late-blooming gamer makes up for lost time by playing everyone else's formative games. We are Michelle and Dimitri, and in Episode 0 we talk about our lopsided histories with games and how this weird project came to be.
If you want to skip it and head right to Episode 1, the Super Metroid arc is waiting for you now.;
-M&D
2020-02-1139 min