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Aaron & Jenna Zint

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Marriage LabMarriage LabAvoiding Birthday Blues & BlowoutsBirthdays—love them or dread them, they can be a surprisingly tense topic in marriage. 🎂 From unspoken expectations to last-minute letdowns, these special days often carry more emotional weight than we realize. In this episode, we’re diving into the highs and lows of celebrating birthdays with your spouse, sharing our own birthday wins and major misses over the years.You’ll hear about: ✅ The silent pressure & expectations that often ruin birthdays ✅ Why no one should be the designated party planner for life 🎉 ✅ How to openly communicate what you actually want for your birthday (without disappointme...2025-03-1635 minMarriage LabMarriage LabInternal vs External Processing StylesIn this episode, we talk about our respective styles of processing how we are feeling. Aaron is an external processor, needing to externalize what's he's feeling in order to understand it. Jenna is an internal processor, needing time to internally mull over what she's feeling in order to understand it. These two different styles can make conflict unnecessarily difficult unless you know how to work with them. We'll share the growth paths for each to avoid the common pitfalls in relationship.Links from episode:Attachment Styles EpisodeThat's What She...2025-02-1637 minMarriage LabMarriage LabPeaceful holiday plans for couples with different opinionsIn this episode we talk over how we intentionally plan for a peaceful holiday season when you both have different ideas about what that means. If you would like an assist in your planning grab a copy of Jenna's Peaceful Christmas Planner-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our shows 2024-11-2525 minMarriage LabMarriage LabHow to change the culture in your marriage Pt 2In this episode we talk about the culture shifting power of apologies; offering them freely and frequently. This is different than fawning which is apologizing for anything and everything in an attempt to appease or placate. This also different than admitting guilt or wrongdoing. The kind of freely-given, frequent apologies we're talking about are those that begin with a recognition that my actions affect my spouse. And there are plenty of scenarios in a given day when I miss the mark. Not because I sinned or had ill-intent, but because I'm human. It's an exercise in radical ownership that...2024-10-0732 minMarriage LabMarriage LabHow to change the culture in your marriage Pt 1This episode shares one of the simplest and yet most profound keys to changing the culture in your marriage. Gratitude. Now hear us out! We will share how gratitude provides one of the greatest ROI's in relationships, how we will face internal resistance to it, what it looks like to create practical habits and real life stories of it at work in our marriage.Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real convers...2024-09-3040 minMarriage LabMarriage LabChange your marriage: what your spouse needs the mostIn this episode, Jenna and Aaron share the secret sauce to seeing change in your marriage. It's simpler than you think. Just more humbling.Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!➡️ Buy the course  [clic -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >...2024-09-2636 minMarriage LabMarriage LabIs your spouse pushing your buttons? Conflict & Boundaries in ActionIn this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries.Main takeaways:If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your buttons and you are responsible for themIf you are the one unintentionally pushing buttons, it's not your fault that they have those buttons, but choose kindness and stop pushingBoundaries are meant to protect the connection, not...2024-09-2343 minMarriage LabMarriage LabBehind the Highlight Reel: not falling for comparison in social mediaIn this episode we explore the pitfalls of comparing your spouse to others and the negative impact it can have on your relationship. This comparison can create feelings of judgment and inadequacy, leading to a decline in positive affection and increasing resentment. By idealizing other people's spouses, you set unrealistic expectations and can inadvertently foster a sense of longing or even lust for qualities that are not present in your partner. This pattern is dangerous for creating, healing or maintaining connection. The conversation emphasizes the importance of focusing on the positive attributes of your spouse and being mindful of...2024-09-1636 minMarriage LabMarriage LabBreaking Free from Passivity: Empowering Your Marriage with Intentional ActionTake 10 week to invest in building better habits with Jenna's Mastery Course  Class starts Oct 1, 2024-Can passivity be the silent killer in your marriage? In this episode, Aaron and Jenna get real about their own struggles with passivity, sharing how ignoring, avoiding, or delaying discomfort led to feelings of being stuck. Through candid personal stories, they shed light on how this behavior can evolve into rationalizations and bitterness, affecting everything from relationships to personal growth. Aaron also provides insight into his upcoming online small group for porn recovery, where passivity is a...2024-09-0935 minMarriage LabMarriage LabReconnecting Through the Everyday: Small Habits, Big ImpactTake 10 week to invest in building better habits with Jenna's Mastery Course  Class starts Oct 1, 2024-In this episode of Marriage Lab, Aaron and Jenna dive into the realities of maintaining a strong connection in marriage, especially during transitions and busy seasons. They share personal stories and insights on how small, consistent habits can significantly impact a marriage's health. They discuss how even brief disconnects, like those experienced during family trips or shifts in routines, can affect a relationship. The couple emphasizes the importance of being intentional in creating connection points, even if...2024-09-0229 minMarriage LabMarriage LabUnmasking Defensiveness: Identify your protective patternsIn this episode, we talk about our tells around defensiveness. What are the signs that we are becoming defensive as a listener, specifically when our spouse is sharing pain? Here are a few we identify within ourselves:The desire to edit the details of what the other person is sharingInterrupting the speakerJudging the speakers thoughts and/or feelingsFeeling anger (frustration, annoyance)Wanting to explain myselfThese are signs that our defenses our up and our ears and empathy is off. What are you tells around defensiveness?Finally, we talk about what to do w...2024-08-2646 minMarriage LabMarriage LabWill my needs ever get met? w/ Jordan & ClaireIn this episode our good friends, Jordan and Claire, share with us how they each grew in the ability to care for each others needs despite the fear that their own would never get met. Jenna and I (Aaron), have done a number of Couples Coaching sessions with them in which we witnessed a masterful use of the communication tools in the midst of processing pain and feeling defensiveness.They discuss how to properly validate, have compassion and help the other person feel seen and heard before passing "the talking stick". They also share how they've learned...2024-08-191h 02Marriage LabMarriage LabControl in MarriageIt's been both our experience of ourselves and of many other marriages that we've coached, that there is one spouse who has a propensity towards Control. We define "control" as one person's attempt at manipulating the outcome through managing another person's actions. In this episode, Jenna talks about how control shows up for her and what is happening on a deeper level, namely with fear. She lays out the growth path for those who are struggling with trying to control their spouse and the pitfalls that line that path. Aaron talks about his experience of being on t...2024-08-1246 minMarriage LabMarriage Lab4 tips to move out of "roommate mode" back into an intimate connection with your spouseIn this episode the Zints share about 4 ways to move away from "Roommate mode" and back to intimate connection with your spouse. These include:Sharing openly what you're experiencing without blaming (use emotion language and share about yourself, not the other person).Be intentional with your connection time.Express affection: small gestures of affection like holding, hands, hugging or complimenting each otherGet help. Your marriage shouldn't be lived in isolation. Bring others in for perspective, encouragement and even advice.Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s i...2024-07-2028 minMarriage LabMarriage LabResentment vs Investment | What I wish I knew Part 3Don't be overwhelmed by your summer! You can balance all that's on your plate- while still hitting your hopes.  Grab Jenna's mini course as your guide to: Set-Up Your Summer In this episode- Jenna & Aaron talk about how you can do the same thing but with a different motivation- and it can shift everything. What is your motivation? Are you telling yourself you are powerless & "have to do XYZ" because of your spouse? That's your sign your feeding resentment.What if you simply switched your self...2024-06-1329 minMarriage LabMarriage LabLove Language User Error | What I Wish I Knew Pt 2Buy Jenna's  mini-course: Setting-up Your Summer.Dr. Gary Chapman's Love Languages concept and consequent books revolutionized our understanding of how we communicate, hear and receive love, especially in marriage. It became a tool we used constantly to better understand ourselves and our spouse. And, we commonly misused this tool as a way to better serve ourselves rather than its original intent: to love others better.This is what we'd call a user error. When the concept of love languages gets weaponized as a measuring stick for how your spouse is fa...2024-06-0530 minMarriage LabMarriage LabDebunking "Don't go to bed angry" | What I Wish I Knew Pt 1Buy Jenna's  mini-course: Setting-up Your Summer.Aaron and Jenna begin a series titled "What I wish I knew" sharing what they wish they'd learned early in marriage. This first part dives into the topic of "urgency." Most conflicts in the early stages of relationships feel urgent. They become very high stakes when they don't need to be. Why? Because it's possible to be connected even when there is no resolution to the problem. This brings us to the scripture from Ephesians 4:26 "...Do not let the sun go down on your an...2024-05-3034 minMarriage LabMarriage LabPorn Addiction in Marriage Pt 3: the Spouse's PerspectiveLink to online small group interest form: HERELaughter echoes through even our most challenging times, and this episode kicks off with a tale from a men's retreat that'll have you chuckling along with us. But as our conversation turns, we confront the shadows within marriage—specifically, the silent struggle of porn addiction. We open up about the emotional toll this addiction takes on the non-addicted spouse, illustrating the journey through feelings of betrayal to finding a path towards healing and understanding within the relationship.Navigating the murky waters of shame and betrayal requires a de...2024-05-0841 minMarriage LabMarriage LabPorn in Marriage Pt 2: Understanding Porn AddictionNeeding support in walking out of a porn addiction? Join Aaron's Online Small Group which is set up to help men struggling with porn to get connected and begin to bring attention to the areas in their life that makes porn feel like the best and only option.You can also check out Aaron's book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn. In this episode, Aaron talks about how most porn addictions start at a young age and are sustained through adulthood through cycles of isolation, passivity and pain. This episode is mostly g...2024-05-0150 minMarriage LabMarriage LabPorn in Marriage Pt 1: Three Unpopular Opinions About Porn3 Unpopular Opinions About PornYour porn use is not a reflection on your spouse. That is, it's not their faultPorn is not your problem. Porn is the solution you've chosen to the real problemYou and God cannot fix this. It must be you and God and other people. Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marri...2024-04-1544 minMarriage LabMarriage LabHow to Stop Fighting Over Stupid StuffHave you ever said, "We got in a big fight about something so small and stupid!" It happens in every marriage when there is emotional pain behind a "small and stupid" logistical problem. In this episode, Jenna and Aaron reverse engineer their fight about a toothbrusher charger and how something so small and stupid had the potential to create a lot of disconnection but didn't. Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversat...2024-04-1530 minMarriage LabMarriage LabFairness: The Connection KillerDo you know what prolongs most conflict? The thing that keeps people stuck in disconnect? The pursuit of fairness.Why? Because it hinders love itself. Jesus didn't model fairness in His life or sacrifice. He modeled sacrificial love. Love, as Jesus modeled it, will transform your marriage. Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon’t just plan your wedding—...2024-04-0831 minMarriage LabMarriage LabDeconstructing Gender Roles with Megan & Dalen PhilpIn this episode, our friends Megan and Dalen Philp (not Philips...woops sorry guys) share the hope they found in their marriage of 20 years after they began to deconstruct the gender roles that they'd held onto so inflexibly for so many years. Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!➡️ Buy the course  [c...2024-03-1156 minMarriage LabMarriage Lab10 Helpful Beliefs About Sharing PainIn this episode, we break down 10 helpful beliefs about sharing pain. Get the infographic notes here.Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!➡️ Buy the course  [clic -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To learn more about Jenna's HABIT REBOOT, click here: >>> Become a sponor of our sh2024-03-041h 02Marriage LabMarriage Lab7 Unhelpful Beliefs About Sharing PainJenna and Aaron share 7 unhelpful beliefs people have (they themselves used to have) about sharing pain with your spouse. Stay tuned for an episode on the helpful beliefs!Here is a review of those 7 unhelpful beliefs:Tell them everything I’m thinkingReveal to them how they hurt meGet them to see how they failed meI can resolve my hurt by hearing an apology/admission of guiltThis is urgent. Don’t go to bed angry (two sleepy dysregulated people are horrible communicators)2024-02-0628 minMarriage LabMarriage LabBreakthrough IS Possible : w/ Anna & Alan MullikinIn this episode, we interview our friends Anna & Alan Mullikin who share about the breaking of a ten year cycle. We were so encouraged by their story and know that this testimony is for everyone who's felt hopeless in their own cycles of pain and hurt in their marriage. You can follow Anna at Please rate, review & share the podcast!>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? >> Become a sponor of our shows 2024-01-291h 01Marriage LabMarriage LabPastoring a Church Together in Marriage w/ Joaquin & Renee EvansWe interviewed our friends Joaquin and Renee Evans pastor a church called Bethel Austin in Austin, Texas. In this episode they share about what it requires of them to co-pastor a large church while staying connected in their marriage and in their family life. They hit on:BoundariesIntentionalitySigns of disconnectionTime to get away just the two of themStaying connected to mentors and peersPlease rate, review & share the podcast!>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? 2024-01-2253 minMarriage LabMarriage LabGenuine Apologies in MarriageIn a previous episode, we when into depth about no requiring an apology from your spouse when you felt hurt from them but rather focusing on sharing your heart in order to be known. This is one side of the coin for us. And an important one at that. The other side is that due to not requiring apologies from each other, we wind up giving way more genuine apologies than ever before. In this episode, we talk about how the lack of requiring an apology from each other and the grace that accompanies that allows for...2024-01-1635 minMarriage LabMarriage LabForgiving Your SpouseChoosing a spouse is choosing the person you'd like to offer the most forgiveness to of anyone else over a lifetime. Why? Because the intimacy in marriage creates more opportunity for hurt than any other relationship. Therefore, to have a thriving marriage, we must lean into the heart of Jesus and forgive each other like He forgave us. Generously, for the big and the little trangresses, without measure. Especially when we feel we've been hurt by our spouse so often or so deeply, it can feel like an injustice to offer forgiveness. It feels unfair. Like they...2024-01-0328 minMarriage LabMarriage LabPart of Me Feels...While Another Part Feels...Have you ever been trying to honestly explain what you're thinking or feeling and say the words "Part of me feels..." or "Part of me thinks..."? Most people do intuitively. In this episode we talk about how to utilize this phrase into our communciation with our spouse to give the most accurate picture of what's happening inside of us. We also explore how this is used in therapy and how you can use it to bring more compassion and connection within yourself. Please rate, review & share the podcast!------------------------------------------------------------Join Jenna's life-changing...2023-12-1131 minMarriage LabMarriage LabTools for Connection: Joy Memories & AppreciationIn this episode we break down a couple tools for connecting with your spouse even when you're in the middle of conflict or have something unresolved between you both.Please rate, review & share the podcast!------------------------------------------------------------Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Registration for next round begins January 3, 2024.------------------------------------------------------------Aaron run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness. Check out  his book on the same subject.  Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn.------------------------------------------------------------For more on wh...2023-12-0620 minMarriage LabMarriage LabCreating a Refreshing Weekend: what it means to truly rest with familyHave you ever been looking forward to the weekend only to find that what was intended to be restful and relaxing, never actually filled you up? Have you ever headed back into your workweek feeling like you wasted an opportunity to take good care of yourself and your family?We definitely have! In this episode, we talk about the shift that's happened in the last year that has transformed our weekends, especially with young kids, into times of true rest, rejuvination and connection.Please rate, review & share the podcast!Join Jenna's life-changing Habit...2023-10-2832 minMarriage LabMarriage LabThe Growth Path of Anxious & Avoidant Attachment Styles w/ Serena AngeliIn this episode we talk with our friend Serena Angeli who has gone on her own journey around awareness, understanding and growing in her attachment style. Interestingly, she began her journey with an avoidant style and later with an anxious style.  Jenna and I, Aaron, talk about how our avoidant and anxious styles, respectively, seem to perfectly trigger each other. Each of us talk about the growth paths we've identified for our specific styles. Join Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have t...2023-10-091h 06Marriage LabMarriage LabWhen Your Spouse is StuckIn this episode Aaron & Jenna talk about what to do when you feel like your spouse is stuck in life. the common mindsets the pop up when you recognize your spouse is stuckwhat to avoidthe best ways to helpJoin Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course!Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron,  and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Aw...2023-09-281h 01Marriage LabMarriage LabCreating Habits of Connection in Your Marriage with Autumn & AndrewIn this episode we interview our friends Autumn and Andrew Elliott. They saw a major turn in their connection after some counseling revealed a need for a "baseline." This baseline served as their way to stay connected on the most basic level so that the small conflicts that used to tank them before were no longer pulling them down. Another possible name for this "baseline" are "connection habits." It was a few simple, basic habits they put in place that got them out of the red and to a good baseline from which they could get through the craziness...2023-09-181h 09Marriage LabMarriage LabGrowing Individually to Grow Together w/ Ryan & JessicaIn this episode, we interview our friends Ryan & Jessica Casey about how their individual journey's of growth, risk and healing contirbuted to their ability to connect as a couple.Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups...2023-09-111h 07Marriage LabMarriage LabCrisis of Faith: my story of choosing God while uncertainIn this extra vulnerable episode, Aaron shares his journey walking through a crisis of faith and Jenna shares her experience walking with him in it.Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to...2023-09-011h 04Marriage LabMarriage LabSelf-Compassion: Why it's necessary to live in wholenessIn this episode, we talk about what self-compassion is, the importance of it and the impact of it in our lives. We both have our own journey learning we needed it and walking it out for ourselves. There is no finish line. It's an ongoing part of what makes it possible for us to not only love ourselves well, but to love each other, our kids and everyone else well.Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or...2023-08-1752 minMarriage LabMarriage LabHabits of Health: Fitness in MarriageIn this episode we dive into the habits of physical health that have been slowly but surely building in our lives over the past couple years. We share our journey about pain felt when one spouse is pursuing fitness and the other doesn't want to join. We also talk about ways to create life-long habits of health.Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the...2023-07-2544 minMarriage LabMarriage LabFeeling Lonely in Household Chores Pt 2: Post Therapy DiscoveriesJenna and I had a few therapy sessions which help shed some light on the triggers that came up in our last hard conversation. We begin to unpack those in this episode. It's not all resolved but we're still moving forward. Little bits of better over a long period of time. Please rate, review & share the podcast!For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery...2023-07-1846 minMarriage LabMarriage LabFeeling Lonely in Household Chores: Aaron & Jenna's Hard Conversation Pt 1In this episode Jenna and Aaron share their recent conflict that is still not fully resolved, though they are staying connected in the midst of it. This conflict has surfaced many times throughout their marriage: Jenna feels lonely with the household chores, as well as family responsibilities and family connection; Aaron feels sad and fearful that he will never be able to do enough to help Jenna feel different.This episode is a recap of how the recent series of conversations went. The connection was maintained throughout those conversations, even in the midst of the pain, because...2023-06-271h 00