Shows
BraveCo Podcast177: Addiction Series with Guest Arron Zint: The Real Cause Behind Addiction & How to Fix It12 week : P*rn Recovery // Online Small Group, Starting late August Lead by Aaron Zint w/ 10+ years of experience walking men into Wholeness Sign up here: https://pillar.io/thezints/checkout/002cb6d0-5d07-11f0-a37f-93965abef48bI’m Jason Vallotton, and in this second episode of our Brave Co addiction series, I dive deep with my friend Aaron Zint—one of the most resilient men I’ve ever known. We trace his journey from childhood s*xual trauma and early exposure to p*rnography, all the way through marriage, relapse, and ulti...2025-07-2846 min
Marriage LabAvoiding Birthday Blues & BlowoutsBirthdays—love them or dread them, they can be a surprisingly tense topic in marriage. 🎂 From unspoken expectations to last-minute letdowns, these special days often carry more emotional weight than we realize. In this episode, we’re diving into the highs and lows of celebrating birthdays with your spouse, sharing our own birthday wins and major misses over the years.You’ll hear about: ✅ The silent pressure & expectations that often ruin birthdays ✅ Why no one should be the designated party planner for life 🎉 ✅ How to openly communicate what you actually want for your birthday (without disappointme...2025-03-1637 min
Numb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessHabits of Sobriety: The Steps that Lead to Acting OutIn this episode, I walk through the steps that lead to acting out. With every slip or relapse, I like to ask the question, "Where did you lose the battle?" It certainly was not the moment you clicked on the link or when you chose to watch that movie. It was way before that. It was when you failed to take care of yourself by not processing pain and choosing to isolate. The goal is that we begin to recognize when we are in steps 1, 2 or 3 (which are before temptation even starts) and we follow the plan for taking...2025-02-1720 minMarriage LabInternal vs External Processing StylesIn this episode, we talk about our respective styles of processing how we are feeling. Aaron is an external processor, needing to externalize what's he's feeling in order to understand it. Jenna is an internal processor, needing time to internally mull over what she's feeling in order to understand it. These two different styles can make conflict unnecessarily difficult unless you know how to work with them. We'll share the growth paths for each to avoid the common pitfalls in relationship.Links from episode:Attachment Styles EpisodeThat's What She...2025-02-1639 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessHabits of Sobriety: Planning for Speed Bumps and BattlefieldsIn this episode, I talk about what it looks like to make a plan for all the areas in our lives where temptation starts to show up. As Benjamin Franklin said, "If you fail to plan then we plan to fail." Our passivity would tell us to wing it. Just hope that the next time you're tempted, it'll be easier. That's not a plan. Creating a plan looks like first naming the places we'll need it. I call those speed bumps and battlefields. Speed bumps are the unexpected moments of emotional dysregulation, visual/mental triggers, disrupted routines and rituals...2025-02-1028 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessHabits of Sobriety: Cycles, Rituals & TriggersHumans are predictable because humans are habitual. Our repeated behaviors can be identified in series of cues, responses and rewards. As we continue to grow and mature, we can learn to identify our addictive cycles, the rituals within them and the triggers that start them. In doing so, we become adept at interrupting our cycles with well-laid plans. Name the trigger, Question it with curiosity, Share it with someone and Move away from it. --Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2025-02-0337 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessHabits of Sobriety: Environment, Routine & Consumption HabitsIn the throes of addiction, we most often lead ourselves into temptation rather than being caught completely off-guard. Therefore, it's important for us to identify how our environment, our routines and our media consumption contribute to our constant battles with temptation. Let's look at the habits we've created that may not be inherently bad but are ultimately unhelpful in getting us to where we want to go. --Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2025-01-2725 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Passivity: Gathering evidence that I am powerfulIn this episode, I talk about how we relieve our passivity of the old ways of doing things. We can do this by gathering evidence that what I've been afraid of is not actually going to bring me down or take me out. I begin to do the courageous act, to engage when I'd rather disengage, to be intentional when I'd rather rationalize my way into inaction and to take ownership when it'd be easier to blame someone else for my issues.--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known...2025-01-2033 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Passivity: Getting comfortable with discomfortIn this episode, I talk about our pursuit of comfort and what it's stealing from us. Our goal in working hard is not to arrive at a place of comfort but that we get comfortable with discomfort. Why? Because discomfort is the only way I grow and progress. Porn, and addiction in general, thrive on mindsets and behaviors that are either comfort-seeking or discomfort-avoidant. We can begin to change that in our own lives.--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2025-01-1332 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Passivity: The good motivation but ineffective strategy of passivityIn this episode, I talk about how our passivity is just a part of us that has good intentions to protect us but ineffective strategies in leading us to where we actually want to go. The part of us that's passive doesn't need to "die". It just needs a new goal and a new strategy.--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2025-01-0627 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Passivity: How it shows up, what it costs and what can we doThis episode kicks off a series on passivity: what does it look like in our lives, what does it cost us and what can we do about it.--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2024-12-3021 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Pain: Emotional RegulationThis episode rounds out the series on pain. How do we find emotional regulation when we are feeling emotional dysregulation (pain)?Key points:1. Pain is not bad. It's a message2. Name it3. Get curious to find out its source4. Get connected aka co-regulate5. Self-regulation techniques--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2024-11-2534 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Pain: Engaging Our StoriesIn this episode of Numb to Known, I dive into the power of engaging with our stories of past pain. Drawing on insights from Dan Allender, Adam Young’s The Place We Find Ourselves, Jay Stringer’s Unwanted, and my book Numb to Known, I explore how facing past hurts can transform our present lives. I’ll look at how brain science and scripture both reveal the importance of processing pain instead of burying it, breaking the patterns that fuel addiction and unhealthy behaviors. Tune in to learn practical steps for healing, the role of compassionate self-reflection, and how sharin...2024-11-0416 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Pain: Curiosity over ContemptIn this episode, I’m diving into the idea of choosing curiosity over contempt—especially when it comes to recovery and dealing with temptations. Instead of beating ourselves up with shame, we can learn to get curious about our struggles and emotions, unlocking deeper healing in the process. I’ll talk about how neuroscience backs this up, share some insights from Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted, and explain how our sexual fantasies are often tied to past wounds. I’ll also give you some practical tools to use when you’re tempted or feeling overwhelmed. If you’re tired of letting sha...2024-10-2118 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Pain: Self-Compassion vs ShameIn this episode of Numb to Known, I dive into the powerful practice of self-compassion and how it can help break the cycle of shame, especially in the context of porn addiction. I’ll explain how shame isolates us, blocking us from receiving God’s unconditional love and support from others, and share insights from Dr. Curt Thompson and Brené Brown on how self-compassion opens the door to true connection and transformation. I’ll address the fear of continuing in bad habits, explore why shame isn’t an effective motivator for change, and highlight how self-compassion aligns with God’s kindness...2024-10-1412 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Connection: God in AddictionIn this episode, I wrap up our series on connection by focusing on the most important relationship we can have—our connection with God. I'll talk about how discovering our identity in Christ, seeing God as a loving Father, and surrendering to His strength can help us in the journey to overcome porn addiction. I’ll also share practical insights from scripture and neuroscience to help you apply these truths to your life. If you're looking for real change and healing, I hope this episode gives you practical steps and reminds you that God’s love is what empowers true f...2024-10-0722 min
Live Your Best Life with Liz WrightFreedom From Addiction w/ Aaron ZintAaron Zint of The Whole Man Project and author of Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn joins Liz for a vitally important conversation on freedom from sexual addiction. Aaron vulnerably shares his powerful story of getting free from porn-use and he unpacks the internal world of men who have this struggle. Aaron gives insight into what is really going on and that sexual addiction is really a ‘check engine light’ for deep underlying areas that need attention. Compassion heals and shame does not. Shame is a tactic from the enemy that tells us to isolate and that...2024-09-3034 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Connection: How Emotions Hold the Key to Overcoming PornIn this episode Aaron discusses the role of emotions in porn addiction and how to understand and work with your emotions rather than ignoring or working against them. The process he shares is to Name it, Question it, Share it and Move it. In this process we name the emotion, we get curious about it, we get known in it and we take action.--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2024-09-3031 minMarriage LabChange your marriage: what your spouse needs the mostIn this episode, Jenna and Aaron share the secret sauce to seeing change in your marriage. It's simpler than you think. Just more humbling. Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversations✅ Topics on communication, conflict, intimacy, money & moreDon’t just plan your wedding—prepare for your marriage!➡️ Buy the course [clic Support the show------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>> Become a sponor of our shows 2024-09-2637 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Connection: Do I need an accountability partner, small groups, mentors or friends?Our journey into wholeness requires that we get connected. How exactly do we do that? We all know about accountability partners, small groups and programs. We all wants friends and mentors. What direction should I head to get connected?This episode breaks down what to look for to get connected in the way you need.--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2024-09-2332 minMarriage LabIs your spouse pushing your buttons? Conflict & Boundaries in ActionIn this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries.Main takeaways:If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your buttons and you are responsible for themIf you are the one unintentionally pushing buttons, it's not your fault that they have those buttons, but choose kindness and stop pushingBoundaries are meant to protect the connection, not...2024-09-2345 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessOn Connection: The Risk & Requirement of VulnerabilityIn this episode of the Numb to Known Podcast, host Aaron Zint dives deep into the essential role of vulnerability in achieving true connection and healing. As men on a journey to become the wholest versions of ourselves, Aaron emphasizes that we cannot do this alone; connection is key, and vulnerability is the pathway to it.Key Points:Vulnerability vs. Honesty & Transparency: Aaron breaks down the distinctions between honesty, transparency, and vulnerability. While honesty and transparency are important, vulnerability takes things a step further by allowing others not only to see our...2024-09-1618 minMarriage LabBreaking Free from Passivity: Empowering Your Marriage with Intentional ActionTake 10 week to invest in building better habits with Jenna's Mastery Course Class starts Oct 1, 2024-Can passivity be the silent killer in your marriage? In this episode, Aaron and Jenna get real about their own struggles with passivity, sharing how ignoring, avoiding, or delaying discomfort led to feelings of being stuck. Through candid personal stories, they shed light on how this behavior can evolve into rationalizations and bitterness, affecting everything from relationships to personal growth. Aaron also provides insight into his upcoming online small group for porn recovery, where passivity is a...2024-09-0937 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessWholeness & Freedom is an inside AND outside jobIn this episode of the Numb to Known podcast, host Aaron Zint delves into the essential process of pursuing wholeness and freedom, whether from porn addiction or other areas where you may feel stuck or desire growth. Aaron emphasizes the importance of addressing both the internal and external aspects of our lives. He explains that while internal work, like healing from isolation and reshaping belief systems, is crucial, it must be paired with external actions and habits to be truly effective.Drawing from his book, Numb to Known, Aaron shares how his own journey revealed the deep...2024-09-0917 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessDefining Freedom from PornChristians are fond of using the word "Freedom" but we might not all have the same definition of what that means, especially as it pertains to porn-use. Furthermore, we might not have very helpful definitions of the word. Freedom from porn is first of all, not zero temptation, perfection or a destination. So what is it? In this episode we explore helpful definitions of freedom.--Links--Online Small GroupOne-on-One CoachingBook: Numb to Known - the surprising path away from porn2024-09-0221 minMarriage LabReconnecting Through the Everyday: Small Habits, Big ImpactTake 10 week to invest in building better habits with Jenna's Mastery Course Class starts Oct 1, 2024-In this episode of Marriage Lab, Aaron and Jenna dive into the realities of maintaining a strong connection in marriage, especially during transitions and busy seasons. They share personal stories and insights on how small, consistent habits can significantly impact a marriage's health. They discuss how even brief disconnects, like those experienced during family trips or shifts in routines, can affect a relationship. The couple emphasizes the importance of being intentional in creating connection points, even if...2024-09-0231 minNumb to Known: Men Pursuing WholenessUnderstanding What's Behind Porn-UseFor men of faith, like myself, who've struggled with porn for years and years, it can be easy to look at our behavior and say, "I've got a porn problem." However, the truth is, you don't. You don't have a problem with porn. The truth is, you've found a solution in porn. A solution to what? To the problems that underly porn-use: isolation, passivity and pain. The solutions to these problems are found in connection, intentionality and healing. As we pursue these through new habits, new mindsets and courage, we can become the men we've always wanted to be...2024-08-2617 minMarriage LabWill my needs ever get met? w/ Jordan & ClaireIn this episode our good friends, Jordan and Claire, share with us how they each grew in the ability to care for each others needs despite the fear that their own would never get met. Jenna and I (Aaron), have done a number of Couples Coaching sessions with them in which we witnessed a masterful use of the communication tools in the midst of processing pain and feeling defensiveness.They discuss how to properly validate, have compassion and help the other person feel seen and heard before passing "the talking stick". They also share how they've learned...2024-08-191h 04Marriage LabControl in MarriageIt's been both our experience of ourselves and of many other marriages that we've coached, that there is one spouse who has a propensity towards Control. We define "control" as one person's attempt at manipulating the outcome through managing another person's actions. In this episode, Jenna talks about how control shows up for her and what is happening on a deeper level, namely with fear. She lays out the growth path for those who are struggling with trying to control their spouse and the pitfalls that line that path. Aaron talks about his experience of being on t...2024-08-1247 min
The Authentic Way PodcastComing Alive Through Doing Hard Things: A Conversation with Aaron ZintAaron Zint is a public speaker, author, and incredibly genuine and inspiring man. I’ve had the honor of getting to know him during my time attending The Whole Man Project, a weekly men’s meeting which he leads here in Redding. In this conversation, we talk Enneagram and growth work, living intentionally, overcoming passivity, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and more. Aaron is a fellow Enneagram Social Nine, and shares clearly about what it looks like for this subtype to embrace deep inner growth work with intentionality and strength and to move from the passion of sloth to the virt...2024-07-3158 minBraveCo Podcast124: How Comfort Zones will Lead to Failure with Aaron ZintIn this episode, Aaron Zint, leader of The Whole Man Project, and author of Numb to Known, joins Jay to talk about PASSIVITY and how to overcome it. Small steps take you to where you want to go. Anytime we dodge a challenge, ignore a problem, avoid weakness, or stay in our comfort zones, passivity wins. Passivity lies to us, saying that avoiding action is easier than facing regret. But, every moment of avoidance is a lost chance to grow.From difficult conversations, physical transformation, to business undertakings, and more, they all begin with tiny s...2024-07-2944 min
Let's Talk About ItWhy You're Not Getting Free From Porn - ft/Aaron ZintIt’s not uncommon to hear of men struggling with porn, but it’s less common to hear men NOT watching porn anymore. Why does it seem to be so complicated to get free? Maybe it’s because we’ve been trying to do it the wrong way.
In this episode, Aaron Zint, leader of the Whole Man Project, sits down and unpacks some key questions we knew were vital to this conversation.
👉They’re so many men struggling who don’t want to be, they think they’re working to get free…but why aren’t they...2024-07-0238 minMarriage LabResentment vs Investment | What I wish I knew Part 3Don't be overwhelmed by your summer! You can balance all that's on your plate- while still hitting your hopes. Grab Jenna's mini course as your guide to: Set-Up Your Summer In this episode- Jenna & Aaron talk about how you can do the same thing but with a different motivation- and it can shift everything. What is your motivation? Are you telling yourself you are powerless & "have to do XYZ" because of your spouse? That's your sign your feeding resentment.What if you simply switched your self...2024-06-1331 minMarriage LabDebunking "Don't go to bed angry" | What I Wish I Knew Pt 1Buy Jenna's mini-course: Setting-up Your Summer.Aaron and Jenna begin a series titled "What I wish I knew" sharing what they wish they'd learned early in marriage. This first part dives into the topic of "urgency." Most conflicts in the early stages of relationships feel urgent. They become very high stakes when they don't need to be. Why? Because it's possible to be connected even when there is no resolution to the problem. This brings us to the scripture from Ephesians 4:26 "...Do not let the sun go down on your an...2024-05-3036 minMarriage LabPorn in Marriage Pt 2: Understanding Porn AddictionNeeding support in walking out of a porn addiction? Join Aaron's Online Small Group which is set up to help men struggling with porn to get connected and begin to bring attention to the areas in their life that makes porn feel like the best and only option.You can also check out Aaron's book, Numb to Known: the surprising path away from porn. In this episode, Aaron talks about how most porn addictions start at a young age and are sustained through adulthood through cycles of isolation, passivity and pain. This episode is mostly g...2024-05-0151 minBraveCo Podcast111: How to Master Your Emotions with Jason Vallotton and Guest Aaron ZintLet’s debunk the saying that there are “bad” emotions. Emotions just are! We experience them all on some level every day. In this episode, Aaron Zint, leader of The Whole Man Project, and author of Numb to Known, joins Jay to talk about mastering your emotions.Connect with Aaron:Website: https://aaronzint.wixsite.com/website Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aaron.zint Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zintmarriagelab/?hl=en Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-lab/id1559373076Book: https://www.amazon.com/Numb-Known-Surprising-Path-Away-ebook/dp/B0BDW3TLGJ Jason's In...2024-04-2952 minMarriage LabHow to Stop Fighting Over Stupid StuffHave you ever said, "We got in a big fight about something so small and stupid!" It happens in every marriage when there is emotional pain behind a "small and stupid" logistical problem. In this episode, Jenna and Aaron reverse engineer their fight about a toothbrusher charger and how something so small and stupid had the potential to create a lot of disconnection but didn't. Our Pre-Marriage E-course is like coaching from your couch. What’s inside?✅ 6 bite-sized video sessions (30 min each)✅ 50-page workbook to guide real conversat...2024-04-1532 minMarriage Lab7 Unhelpful Beliefs About Sharing PainJenna and Aaron share 7 unhelpful beliefs people have (they themselves used to have) about sharing pain with your spouse. Stay tuned for an episode on the helpful beliefs!Here is a review of those 7 unhelpful beliefs:Tell them everything I’m thinkingReveal to them how they hurt meGet them to see how they failed meI can resolve my hurt by hearing an apology/admission of guiltThis is urgent. Don’t go to bed angry (two sleepy dysregulated people are horrible communicators)2024-02-0630 minMarriage LabBreakthrough IS Possible : w/ Anna & Alan MullikinIn this episode, we interview our friends Anna & Alan Mullikin who share about the breaking of a ten year cycle. We were so encouraged by their story and know that this testimony is for everyone who's felt hopeless in their own cycles of pain and hurt in their marriage. You can follow Anna at Please rate, review & share the podcast!>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? 2024-01-291h 03Marriage LabPastoring a Church Together in Marriage w/ Joaquin & Renee EvansWe interviewed our friends Joaquin and Renee Evans pastor a church called Bethel Austin in Austin, Texas. In this episode they share about what it requires of them to co-pastor a large church while staying connected in their marriage and in their family life. They hit on:BoundariesIntentionalitySigns of disconnectionTime to get away just the two of themStaying connected to mentors and peersPlease rate, review & share the podcast!>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? >> Become a sponor of our shows 2024-01-2255 minMarriage LabGenuine Apologies in MarriageIn a previous episode, we when into depth about no requiring an apology from your spouse when you felt hurt from them but rather focusing on sharing your heart in order to be known. This is one side of the coin for us. And an important one at that. The other side is that due to not requiring apologies from each other, we wind up giving way more genuine apologies than ever before. In this episode, we talk about how the lack of requiring an apology from each other and the grace that accompanies that allows for...2024-01-1637 minMarriage LabForgiving Your SpouseChoosing a spouse is choosing the person you'd like to offer the most forgiveness to of anyone else over a lifetime. Why? Because the intimacy in marriage creates more opportunity for hurt than any other relationship. Therefore, to have a thriving marriage, we must lean into the heart of Jesus and forgive each other like He forgave us. Generously, for the big and the little trangresses, without measure. Especially when we feel we've been hurt by our spouse so often or so deeply, it can feel like an injustice to offer forgiveness. It feels unfair. Like they...2024-01-0330 min