Shows
Seldom Differ's Terrible FeaturesEp 99: Irwin Sparkes (The Hoosiers) | Special GuestThis week we are joined by Irwin Sparkes, the lead singer of The Hoosiers! The Hoosiers consist of Irwin (lead vocals, lead guitar) and Alan Sharland (drums, percussion, vocals).Their first single "Worried About Ray" reached number 5 on the UK Singles Chart in July 2007. In October 2007, they released their debut album The Trick to Life, which reached number one in the album charts. The band released their second top ten album The Illusion of Safety on 16 August 2010 and was preceded by the lead single "Choices", released on 1 August 2010, and which reached the UK top 20. 2023-04-271h 23
CAOSWhy 'Bystander Effect' doesn't apply in workplace bullying allegations!In this video and podcast, Alan discusses how reference to the 'bystander effect' doesn't apply to bullying allegations because bullying is a subjective experience, seen by 'bystanders' in different ways, without necessarily seeing a clear 'perpetrator/victim' interaction, unlike for the usual application of the idea for crimes and other more clearly distinguished situations.
While many do not see bullying as subjective, particularly if they feel they have been a victim of it, it is unlikely that all 'bystanders' will agree or perhaps even notice, unlike for a more clearly noticeable event like a crime or murder i...2022-05-2520 minCAOSIs your Support Service REALLY 'Client-led' - Or Is It ACTUALLY System-led and/or Practitioner-led?In this video and podcast Alan comments on the prevalence of many support services that are described as 'client-led' or 'person-centred' but in practice are not.
Often the priority focus is on fulfilling system outcome targets or practitioner agendas or both and the client's experience of the process is secondary. One of the ways this is de-prioritised is in the approaches to measurement of the 'success' or effectiveness of the service which will often also be system or practitioner defined and decided 'for' the client or 'about' them and their qualitative experience of the process is not c...2022-05-2521 minCAOSMediators Discuss Psychological Safety at Work: Effective conflict resolution for psychological safety at workIn this podcast I am joined again by Melloney Guiver, The HR Lawyer, to discuss psychological safety at work, in particular the many crossovers between the 'ethos' of some approaches to mediation and the themes and intentions of promoting psychological safety at work, as particularly highlighted by the work of Amy Edmondson and Timothy Clarke.
If you'd like to watch the YouTube video of this podcast please go to this link: https://youtu.be/TgXOWdvIJkk
Chapter headings as follows:
00:00 Introductions to mediators and establishment of topics for discussion within the theme of Psychological S...2022-05-231h 23CAOSWhat IS Effective Active Listening? Effective Active Listening for conflict resolution, mental health challenges and for psychological safety at work.WHAT IS EFFECTIVE ACTIVE LISTENING?
How to practise effective active listening.
This podcast explores the importance and application of EAL in 3 main areas:
1. Effective Active Listening for supporting conflict resolution
2. Effective Active Listening for supporting people with mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and other challenges
3. The relevance of Effective Active Listening for Psychological Safety at Work - how interactions that support and promote psychological safety at work can include an awareness of what constituted effective active listening.
The video of this podcast has some visual annot...2022-04-0626 minCAOSWhy Psychological Safety Requires an ‘Adult-Adult’ Approach and not ‘Parent-Child’Why psychological safety requires an ‘adult-adult’ approach and not ‘parent-child’.
In this video and podcast, Alan discusses the risks to an environment of psychological safety at work when the approach taken is a 'parent-child' one. He outlines features of commentaries that he has come across that can imply people at work start with a 'blank slate', having no real conception or awareness of their own capacity for developing their own psychological safety at work.
But people will always bring their own awareness and capacities for this whether they label it as psychological safety or not and so to...2022-01-2627 minCAOSListening Skills to Support People with Mental Health Challenges. Are You Witnessing or Assessing?Listening Skills to Support People with Mental Health Challenges. Are You Witnessing or Assessing?
In this video and podcast Alan talks about the distinction between listening to people who feel vulnerable in order to 'witness' their personal difficulties, possibly mental health challenges, and listening in order to 'assess' them for some further action such as signposting, diagnosing or prescribing.
Both types of listening are important but it's also important for the person being listened to, to understand which they are to experience. There is sometimes a risk that being listened to in order to be 'as...2022-01-2410 minCAOSHow Mediation Skills Promote Psychological Safety at Work – Personal Challenges for LeadersHow Mediation Skills Promote Psychological Safety at Work – Personal Challenges for Leaders
In this video and podcast Alan outlines two main characterisations of 'psychological safety' by pioneers in the field - Amy Edmondson and Timothy Clark. He then goes on to outline how the mediation skills and practices and 'ethos' would seem to be strongly aligned with optimising the possibilities for psychological safety, even if a 'leader' and team members will not be present as mediators.
Mediation is a process that promotes effective communication and creativity in response to a conflict and while not all team...2022-01-1822 minCAOSExploring the 3 ways to Create Psychological Safety at Work – the Role of the LeaderExploring the 3 ways to Create Psychological Safety at Work – the Role of the Leader
This video and podcast is another in the journey of exploring the concept and implementation of supporting 'psychological safety at work'.
I have based the exploration on Amy Edmondson's description of the 3 main ways in which this can be possible in organisations if leaders can carry through those 3 aspects.
The more I explore the concept of psychological safety at work and the foundations for it being possible that are put forward by Professor Amy Edmondson and others, the more I see...2022-01-1627 minCAOSPsychological Safety at Work sounds a GREAT idea! BUT! Some Questions for Amy Edmondson + othersPsychological Safety at Work sounds a GREAT idea! BUT! Some Questions for Amy Edmondson + others...
Psychological Safety at Work is a concept developed by Amy Edmondson Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School. Many of the practices that she says will support the development of a sense of Psychological Safety at work are reflected in mediation skills practices, which is not surprising given that some of the ways Professor Edmondson characterises the concept is 'permission for candour', accepting mistakes or even failure in teams, acknowledging our own fallibility, framing work as a learning problem ra...2022-01-1522 minCAOSMediator/Conflict Coach: How to resolve disputes with neighbours: Podcast 3: It’s long term and entrenchedMediator/Conflict Coach: How to resolve disputes with neighbours: Podcast 3: It’s long term and entrenched
In this video and podcast Alan goes through the typical kind of experiences and 'journey' that someone who has a dispute with their neighbour may follow based on his experiences of working in neighbour mediation for over 15yrs of his time as a Mediator and Conflict Coach in London in the UK.
This is the third of 3 videos and podcasts on the topic, designed to address the considerations and challenges that can arise at different stages of the 'life' of...2022-01-1128 minCAOSMediator/Conflict Coach: How to resolve disputes with neighbours - Podcast 2: It's now a complaintHow to resolve disputes with neighbours - Podcast 2: It's now a complaint
In this video and podcast Alan goes through the typical kind of experiences and 'journey' that someone who has a dispute with their neighbour may follow based on his experiences of working in neighbour mediation for over 15yrs of his time as a Mediator and Conflict Coach in London in the UK.
This is the second of 3 videos and podcasts on the topic, designed to address the considerations and challenges that can arise at different stages of the 'life' of a neighbour dispute:
V...2022-01-1031 minCAOSMediator/Conflict coach: How to resolve disputes with neighbours - Podcast 1: The Early StagesHow to resolve disputes with neighbours.
Podcast 1: The Early Stages
In this video and podcast, Alan goes through the typical kind of experiences and 'journey' that someone who has a dispute with their neighbour may follow based on his experiences of working in neighbour mediation for over 15yrs of his time as a Mediator and Conflict Coach in London in the UK.
This is the first of 3 videos and podcasts on the topic, designed to address the considerations and challenges that can arise at different stages of the 'life' of a neighbour dispute:
...2022-01-0728 minCAOSWHY ‘I'M RIGHT - YOU'RE WRONG’ prevents debate on important issues from moving on effectivelyThis video and podcast identifies how to move forward in debates that have become, or are at risk of becoming a stuck discussion. "WHY ‘I'M RIGHT - YOU'RE WRONG’ prevents debate on important issues from moving on effectively" looks at the effect of using demonising 'labels' to describe people who we disagree with and how they represent the 'competitive approach' to conflict that never supports effective and useful conflict resolution that leads to learning, change and growth.
Here is the link to the YouTube video if you prefer to watch: https://youtu.be/foPAl1x5cWo
Alan...2022-01-0428 minCAOSMediators discuss: Supporting Homelessness Prevention Through Mediation - A discussion with Hannah Fox - Mediator at The Bridge in LeicestershireIn this video and podcast Alan has a discussion with Hannah Fox about the use of mediation in supporting homelessness prevention for young people at risk of having to leave their family home.
Hannah Fox is a Psychology graduate who has spent the last 7 years working with young adults in a variety of settings, including residential care homes, schools and in the community. Hannah is a CAOS-trained mediator who currently works at The Bridge, a charity in Leicestershire in the UK, that provides specialist services to support individuals who are homeless or at risk of homelessness. See...2021-12-241h 02CAOSMediators discuss ....Conflict Resolution in Workplaces - A discussion with Melloney Guiver - The HR LawyerIn this first video and podcast in our series 'Mediators discuss....' Alan has a conversation with Melloney Guiver - The HR Lawyer - about our respective experiences of working in the area of conflict resolution in workplaces.
Melloney’s work has led her to conclude that the ‘old ways’ of managing employment issues through progressive disciplinary and grievance, procedures, rarely work to resolve them for employer and employee. She is passionate about re-writing these rules to create new ways of people management and this has become part of her work mission.
Alan's experiences of workplace...2021-12-131h 21CAOSHow to RESOLVE workplace bullying allegations. Letting go of the 'Prove + Punish' approach that doesn't work.How to resolve workplace bullying allegations rather than pursue a ‘prove and punish’ approach that rarely if ever works but which leads to a 'circle of blame' where everyone involved is left dissatisfied - the person who feels bullied, the person accused of bullying and those tasked with managing the bullying allegation.
In this podcast Alan makes reference to his book "How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace - Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome For All' which identifies how more active and self-supporting approaches to any bullying situation can assist all in...2021-12-0725 minCAOSDo you really 'EMPOWER' people? Can't people only ever empower themselves? What does 'CLIENT-LED' actually mean?Many organisations claim that they 'empower' people and use a client-led or person-centred approach in the service or process they offer. But in this podcast Alan is asking viewers who provide such services 'Do you really empower people?' and 'What does client-led or 'person-centred' mean - for you?'
To suggest that I, or we 'empower people' is intrinsically self-contradictory as it assumes people don't have power already and they 'need' to be 'given' it by someone else, rather than be helped to recognise or create additional choices for themselves. This suggests a 'parent-child' view of cl...2021-11-3019 min
CAOS'Adult-Adult' and 'Parent'-Child Relationship Dynamics in Conflict Resolution. What type is yours?This podcast, also available as a youtube video ( https://youtu.be/DbmSn5vSalw ) explores the metaphor of 'adult-adult' and 'parent-child' relationships as they relate to effective relationships and ineffective, co-dependent relationships. Any effective relationship will spent time in a 'parent-child' dynamic occasionally but predominantly remain in an adult-adult dynamic., But difficulties arise when the 'parent-child' dynamic seems 'stuck' in place and a seemingly 'addictive' and co-dependent dynamic exists. This can be seen in family, workplace relationships as well as between service providers, both individuals within them and the organisations themselves, and their users/clients.
A significant feature th...2021-05-1641 minCAOSIt Doesn't Matter If We DON'T AGREE! What Matters is HOW WE DISAGREE!In this podcast Alan discusses the perceived need for 'agreement' in order to move forward in many difficult situations. Very often this can be the cause of not moving forward in such situations because an obsession with and sense of dependency on 'the other person(s)' agreement being necessary. In many situations this is not essential for moving forward and people's focus on agreement being necessary can lead to personal comments, coercive behaviour, abuse and even violence in order to try to 'control' their views and ensure their agreement.
Where we can come to an acceptance o...2021-04-1123 minCAOSANGER Is A Natural Source of Energy for Useful Change! This Podcast Addresses How to use Anger Constructively, not Destructively!This podcast explores and distinguishes between what helps anger to be acknowledged and then used constructively to create useful change and what prevents that possibility when it is used destructively towards vandalism, abuse and violence. It leads to 6 main points about how to use our anger constructively rather than be ‘taken over’ by it and misdirect it towards destructive actions.
This podcast was inspired by terrorist and tragic events in London and Manchester in May/June 2017 including the Grenfell Tower fire in West London, and the different ways of responding to these events shown by different members of the...2020-09-0926 minCAOSHOW OUR LANGUAGE CAN ENTRENCH US in a VICTIMHOOD MINDSET or it can HELP US TO RELEASE OURSELVES FROM IT!In this podcast, Alan explores the ways in which a 'victimhood mindset' can become established within us if we don't stop to consider how we speak about our difficult situations. It will often be that simple changes in how we say things....developing more 'mindful communication'....will help us to review how we are seeing our difficult situations and in turn change how we are dealing with them in ways that feel more personally powerful, more active and from less of a position of victimhood.
See the video of this podcast at this link: https://youtu.be/Z...2020-08-1332 min
Three's Company's ADVENTURE DEPARTMENTEpisode 3: THE MYSTERY OF MURDER MANORThis week's episode comes from the Barrington-Smythe awards (which were unfortunately interrupted by an unexpected murder that we were roped into solving). Special guest is Youssef Kerkour.
Jump to Full Credits | Music Listings | Transcripts
Full Credits
Youssef Kerkour as Jeeves
with
Ashlea Kaye as Miss Claret
Joanna Bending as Lady Barrington-Smythe
Rosie Jones as Miss Dumpling
Mariam Bell as Newsreader
Daniel Millar as Budgie Salesman
Greg Snowden as Greg Snowman
and
Tom's Mum as herself
Narrated by Paul Dodds.
All other roles were played by Three's Company.2020-07-1731 minCAOSWHY MOST WORKPLACE BULLYING + HARASSMENT POLICIES DON'T WORK + HOW THEY COULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE!In this podcast, also available as a video on youtube, Alan outlines what he sees as the 6 main flaws that occur in most 'bullying and harassment' policies which lead to inevitable frustration and ineffectiveness as a response to bullying and also in some cases to harassment. He then goes on to detail the reasons why these are significant flaws and the ways in which such policies can be much improved - including the greater effectiveness and clarity that would arise if there were separate policies for bullying and for harassment in recognition of their different legal statuses.
S...2020-03-0945 minCAOSThe Illusion of Bullying, The Reality of HarassmentIn this podcast, Alan talks about the 'illusion' of bullying where a common difficulty for people having difficult relationship challenges at work is that if they wish to prove it is bullying it "...is like a ghost, we may think we have seen it, but if we try to pin it down in order to prove it exists we find ourselves clutching at thin air." Investigations into bullying allegations commonly fail to come to a conclusion and while they continue and also at their inconclusive end, the people involved experience various emotional and psychological challenges and will often be s...2020-02-2731 minCAOSAvoid 'negative people' or 'energy vampires' and become agoraphobic and powerless instead!There are many social media posts that advocate 'staying away from negative people' as a way of living life to the full and to achieve 'happiness'. In this video and podcast Alan talks about the many downsides to this approach to life that are not often considered in such suggestions, initially that simply to see someone as 'negative' is in itself 'negative' and so it would seem we then must have to stay away from ourselves! This self-contradiction or hypocrisy will then often lead to an approach to life where we persistently cut ourselves off from more and more...2020-02-1324 minCAOSWhy Conflict Resolution Does Not Need AGREEMENT - But it may be a side effect...In this podcast Alan discusses a frequent misperception that conflict resolution has to involve agreement when there are various situations he has seen through his work as a mediator and conflict coach, and in life outside of those processes, where conflict has been resolved without any need for agreement. It is possible to resolve conflict through being able to 'respectfully and creatively disagree' and indeed this is what we all do each day anyway in our personal and working lives - we just do it so easily we don't even recognise it has happened. When a conflict has become...2020-01-2233 minCAOSUsing Mediation in Complaints - NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student Complaints and othersIn this podcast Alan discusses the use of mediation in a range of different areas of complaints. He focuses on the 3 types of complaint he has provided mediation in as well as more general considerations about complaints systems and the ways in which mediation can be useful in helping to resolve complaints where the normal procedures have not proven satisfactory and conclusive.
Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and o...2020-01-1536 minCAOSIt's Not You It's Me!...No Actually it IS YOU! ....But Really.....It Just Is!This podcast looks at the journey that can happen in any relationship, whether personal or at work where a difficult feeling or experience starts to occur and we look to allocate 'cause' or 'blame' for it. At first our impulse may be to look to ourselves with negative judgements and criticisms but in many ways that makes it even more likely that when we can't find a clear cause within ourselves we react strongly with the suggestion the 'cause' or 'blame' is to be allocated in someone else. This need to identify an individual whether ourselves or another for...2020-01-1225 minCAOSHOW TO HAVE USEFUL, PRODUCTIVE COMMUNICATION WITH SOMEONE YOU DISLIKE, DESPISE OR EVEN HATE!In this podcast, Alan discusses the common ways in which difficult discussions become unproductive and repetitive and, in contrast, how those discussions can become productive and useful if we are aware of the pitfalls of using personal labels within our own contribution to the communication.
When we can see how to take more control of our part in discussions with others whether face-to-face, by email and even on social media, we can optimise them to serve a useful purpose in helping us to move forward in a challenging situation. This arises when we develop more mindful communication in...2020-01-0827 minCAOSHow Universities Make Use of Mediation and Conflict CoachingIn this podcast, Alan describes some of the many ways in which university communities make use of mediation, conflict coaching and other conflict resolution support processes. Alan has worked with universities since 2007, starting with student complaints mediation and since then moving on to various other areas of disputes within universities including staff/staff workplace disputes and group disputes as well as the other areas described within the podcast and video.
For more information about the use of mediation in universities visit this webpage:
https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/university-mediation.html
If Peer-to-Peer resolution su...2020-01-0520 minCAOSCREATIVITY FROM CONFLICT: BEING AT EASE IN CONFLICT SITUATIONSAs we go into a new decade with much division and disagreement from the last few years, what can we understand about conflict? How can we become at ease with conflict and see it as an opportunity for learning, change and growth?
In this video and podcast Alan looks at some positive potential consequences of engaging with conflict if we can be more accepting of its inevitability in life.
Alan's videos and podcasts are based on his observations when working with people involved in unresolved conflict during the last 25 years working as a mediator, conflict co...2020-01-0124 minCAOSContemplations on Conflict: Byron Katie - The 4 Questions and Turnaround of The WorkCONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings or approaches he 'contemplates', please share them in the comments section below.
The Work by Byron Katie
The 4 Questions of 'The Work' by Byron Katie
1. Is it true?
2. Is it absolutely true?
3. How do you react when you think that though...2019-12-2929 minCAOSTHERE'S NO SUCH THING AS 'BODY LANGUAGE'. Why The Idea it Exists Obstructs Effective Communication!There are many suggestions in books and videos that ‘body language’ exists, but in many ways it is a ‘fantasy idea’ that means we think we know what other people are thinking and feeling - and so we don’t have to take the risk of asking them! Unfortunately it is usually used to ‘confirm’ our negative beliefs about people and this makes sense when you recognise that when we think we are ‘reading body language’ we are really just projecting our assumptions and biases and stories on to others.
The famous ‘Mehrabian Myth’ is an example of where the belief in...2019-12-2817 minCAOSThe Personal Challenges of Being a Mediator and their Potential Impact on the Mediation ProcessIn this video and podcast Alan looks at the personal challenges that arise from being a mediator and whether the mediator's approach to these challenges is to default to a 'fixing' approach to the dispute between participants or whether they can stick to the discipline of the process and continue to provide a creative space in which participants can create their own answers to their dispute, complaint or other difficult situation.
Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NH...2019-12-2746 minCAOSA GUIDED MEDITATION AND VISUALISATION TO HELP YOU USE YOUR ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELYThis is a Guided Meditation and Visualisation that helps you use your anger constructively. We can sometimes express our anger destructively through abuse, criticism or even violence. This is more likely to happen when we direct our anger towards trying to control things we can't control. This visualisation and meditation will help you use your anger constructively towards creating positive change by focusing on what you can control.
Listen through to the end, or take a break and pause the video at times to reflect more deeply than the podcast allows and even to take notes.
...2019-12-1917 minCAOSGROUP MEDIATIONS FOR TEAM CONFLICT - WHAT HAPPENS, HOW THEY WORK...In this podcast Alan describes what happens when he provides mediation for groups, the approach he takes, common experiences, why group mediations have the potential for more movement and creativity than 2-person mediations. He also discusses common misconceptions about what might happen in a group mediation and why the issues over which the mediation is originally referred will often not be the issues that the group feels are the most significant or important to deal with.
Find out more information about team and group mediation available in the London, UK area.
Alan's videos and podcasts ar...2019-12-1732 minCAOSALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION (ADR) - in what way is it 'ALTERNATIVE'? The unique approach of MEDIATION!In this podcast Alan scans through some of the processes that come under the heading of 'alternative dispute resolution' (ADR) and looks further into why mediation is a unique alternative within that category of processes because it is a non-adversarial process. This makes it particularly suitable for some types of dispute while adversarial processes (such as arbitration, adjudication and going to court) are appropriate for other types of dispute.
Knowing which process is suitable for which kind of situation will mean better use will be made of all of these processes. Often there is confusion about this and...2019-12-1220 minCAOSWhat is 'impasse' in mediation? Does it exist? A Podcast for mediation practitioners and interested others....Mediator-diagnosed impasse:
If impasse is assumed by the mediator(s) to be present when not actually stated by the participants this can be based on an expectation or ‘requirement’ of participants to ‘perform’ in a preconceived manner for the benefit of the mediator(s). (Are they smiling, have they come to ‘agreement’, have they made an action plan, can it be put down on paper?) Indeed, the participants may not be stuck at all, just not doing/saying/deciding what the mediator thinks they ‘should’ be. As a consequence, a tug-of-war ensues - caused by the mediator(s) and so the si...2019-12-1018 minCAOSWHY MEDIATION IS VOLUNTARY AND COMPULSORY MEDIATION WOULD BE INEFFECTIVE!Mediation is a voluntary process. Its effectiveness comes from the fact that participants are present with an intention of trying to create a different way forward in their situation. They are not present because they 'have to be'. This is crucial to any outcomes being both appropriate and sustainable because the participants will create what works for them and not what a third party imposes on them.
Alan presents his interpretation of 3 different perspectives that often propose the idea of making mediation a compulsory process: The 'system-led' view, the 'practitioner-led' view and the 'moral' view. A feature of...2019-12-0423 minCAOSHOW WE MAKE OURSELVES POWERLESS AND STUCK IN CONFLICT AND WHAT WE CAN DO TO CHANGE!In this podcast Alan talks about the ways in which we can convince ourselves we are powerless and stuck in conflicts we are involved in by focusing on the things we can't control and overlooking what we can. We will often use 'personal' comments towards people and critical labels about their ideas and actions which means we make it more likely they will focus on those and react against them than focus on the issue we are having a problem over.
These links are referred to in the podcast in case you wish to explore them further: ...2019-10-3124 minCAOSIN A DIFFICULT SITUATION? DO YOU REALLY WANT AN APOLOGY? Do you risk remaining stuck while you wait for one?In this podcast, which is the audiofile of the YouTube video of the same name, Alan asks some questions in relation to having an apology in a difficult situation or for a past experience. What does it mean to you to have one? Do you 'demand' one? What if you don't get it? What if you do? How real and genuine does it feel if you had to demand it?
Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management based in London, UK. This video explores something that of...2019-09-2118 minCAOSWHY BULLYING INVESTIGATIONS DON'T WORK! Using the 'ACAS Guide to Bullying + Harassment' to explain why not!Using the ACAS Guide to bullying and harassment at work, this podcast, which is the audio file from a YouTube video of a similar title looks at the reasons why investigations into bullying allegations will almost always fail to reach a conclusion (less than 1%) and so all involved will feel let down, frustrated and even resentful, often leading to suggestions of conspiracy and cover-up when that is not the cause.
Here is the ACAS Guide to bullying and harassment at work referred to in the podcast:
Here is the ACAS Policy Discussion paper referred to in...2019-09-2047 minCAOSContemplations on Conflict 4 - Eckhart Tolle - ON A DEEPLY UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL, YOU DO NOT WANT POSITIVE CHANGE"Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is also insane."
Eckhart Tolle (2010). “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”, p.189, New World Library
CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his...2019-09-0718 minCAOSA Guided Meditation and Visualisation to Help You Resolve Any Conflict in Your Life!This is a Guided Visualisation to help you respond more effectively to conflict. It starts by asking you to reflect on the ways in which you are presently responding to your unresolved conflict and goes on to help you create new, self-supporting, effective ways of responding to the conflict.
Listen through to the end, or take a break and pause the podcast at times to reflect more deeply on your situation and even to take notes if you would find that helpful.
Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 20 years and i...2019-09-0533 minCAOSRESCUER SYNDROME - HOW TO RECOGNISE THE SIGNS, to 'OWN' YOUR RESCUE FANTASIES - AND LET THEM GO!We can all get drawn into trying to 'fix' people who have a difficulty of some kind. The problem with rescuing people in this way is that we do it out of an assumption that they are not capable of fixing things for themselves and so we try to 'take over' the problem for them and give them our fix.
There are many unfortunate consequences of doing this both for ourselves and for the other person, not least that we become caught up in something we have no control over and experience a lot of stress and f...2019-09-0324 minCAOSContemplations on Conflict 3: "The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory but progress" - Joseph Joubert"The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory but progress." Joseph Joubert
CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings he 'contemplates', please share them in the comments section below.
In this podcast, also available on youtube, Alan discusses the relevance of this quote to his practice as a mediator and r...2019-08-2625 minCAOSContemplations on Conflict 2: "Conflict is the beginning of consciousness." - Mary Esther HardingCONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings he 'contemplates', please share them in the comments section below.
"CONFLICT IS THE BEGINNING OF CONSCIOUSNESS" - Mary Esther Harding from her book 'The I and the Not-I: a Study in the Development of Consciousness'
In this podcast, also available on youtube, Alan discusses the relevance of...2019-08-2124 minCAOSContemplations on Conflict 1 : "The Conflict Between Right and Wrong is the Sickness of the Mind"CONTEMPLATIONS ON CONFLICT - Alan Sharland introduces quotes, poems and other sayings relating to conflict and gives his thoughts on how they can be interpreted and their significance to his work as a mediator and conflict coach and also personally. If you have your own thoughts about the sayings he 'contemplates', please share them.
In this podcast he considers a translation of 'Hsin-hsin Ming' by Seng-ts’an quoted in the book 'The Way of Zen' by Alan Watts
The perfect way is without difficulty
Save that it avoids picking and choo...2019-08-1932 minCAOSWhat is Conflict Coaching? What does the Coach do and what is the CAOS Model?In Podcast 3, Alan Sharland describes what is involved in Conflict Coaching. What the Coach does, what clients come to discuss, how the process supports them in creating a better way forward in their difficult situation.
Alan also discusses the 5-day course which Conflict Coaches attend in order to become a CAOS-trained Conflict Coach. Further details can be found at the link lower down.
If you would like to purchase the book Alan has recently had published called: 'A Guide to Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution' - please see this link:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221
If you'd like to...2018-12-0524 minCAOSWhat is Mediation? What does a Mediator DO?In Episode 2 from CAOS, Host Alan Sharland, Director of CAOS Conflict Management in London UK talks about what happens in a mediation, how it is designed as a process to help people create a better way forward in their difficult situation, whether that be a neighbour dispute, workplace dispute, family conflict, group dispute, complaints situation or other difficulty.
He describes the 'mechanics' of what a mediator does to support people in creating their own answers to their difficult situation and why the mediator's role is not to 'fix' the situation for people but to support their communication and creativity in...2018-10-2840 minCAOSWelcome to CAOS - A Podcast about Communication and Conflict......And Other Stuff!The very first episode of CAOS! This episode gives an introduction to the aims and intentions for the podcast, to the host Alan Sharland and to mediation and conflict coaching as processes that support the resolution of conflict.
After that's done we'll look at the first topic.....What is Conflict? We'll look at the more common associations with conflict and then look at the way in which Mediation and Conflict Coaching 'sees' conflict - as an opportunity for learning, connection and insight.
If you want to find out more about the exercise mentioned called '4-word build' you can find...2018-10-2035 min