Shows
We Could Have Been AstronautsHateful and AngryThe Astronauts get a little boozy. Alex serves out more positive life advice while railing on loud music blasting from cars. Melissa listens and learns and offers lodging for Floridian Expats.
2023-07-0621 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsObligatory HelloThe Astronauts change their names. Melissa starts a new app, and Alex gives the listeners an air quality check. Join the Astronaut on their We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group. We don’t post much and when we do….it’s crap.
2023-05-2421 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsAlex The AmericanThe Astronauts chat about Chat GPT. Alex goes on a listener shout out rampage and Melissa still backs up her Neil Diamond fandom. Remember to join the Astronauts on their ill managed Facebook Group, We Could Have Been Astronauts, and tell us the worst thing you’ve ever smelled.
2023-04-3019 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsFocus On The AnomalyThe Astronauts try to pronounce the name of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Tequila. Melissa begs Alex to watch Ghostbusters, while ABish finally nails a coherent analogy
2023-04-1625 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsHow Many ESPNsThe Astronauts finally weigh in on the Super Bowl Half Time Show (we know, you've been waiting). Alex has sleep troubles and Melissa gets felt up @ a farm show.
2023-03-1525 min2023-02-2703 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsNot Today EitherSurprise, the Astronauts are back! Melissa feels very much like a Tombstone pizza while Alex sort of embraces his Guatemalan Heritage. Feel free to join us on the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group (It’s the only social media we can figure out).
2023-02-1934 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsPast, Present, FutureThe Astronauts are available for all your advertising needs. Melissa survives the COVIDS and Alex gets a Tarot reading.
2022-10-1126 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsBreakfast BLTThe Astronauts discuss bagels and the masterful food workers who serve them. Alex eulogizes himself as his liver takes a leave and Melissa looks into unorthodox healthcare providers.
2022-08-2216 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsHurray For MeThe Astronauts have a lot going on in this episode from surfing to militias. Melissa can now do all the drugs and Alex assures the olds that it’s ok to not understand TikTok Influencers.
2022-08-0330 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsCheeze-It AllThe Astronauts talk guns in America. Alex lets us know his insecurities and Melissa isn’t sure she would die for a Cheeze-It.
2022-07-1934 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsCelebrity StorageThe Astronauts talk real estate in people heads. Melissa is called out by a man in a Home Goods parking lot, and Alex talks of his time in the Celebrity Gossip scene.
2022-07-0620 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsLevel of BunnyThe Astronauts discuss Flemish giant Rabbit ownership. Melissa adheres to strict old person stroll etiquette and Alex gives ideas on how to survive a mass shooting.
2022-06-2120 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsMeatballs & MartinisThe Astronauts talk about the heavy shit of the day with a bit of laughter and naughty language. Also, Melissa takes her shenanigans to Atlantic City and Alex has a lot to say that is “interesting”.
2022-05-2523 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsCracker KarenASTRO EXTRAS: Melissa misses a historical nip slip while Alex faces his mortality thanks to shellfish.
2022-05-1814 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsBig Horn GuyThe Astronauts are back after Melissa finally starts to edit shows again. Alex insists on talking about “The Slap”, and Melissa worries that Alex won’t be able to carry out her final wished due to his health issues.
2022-05-0319 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsKind Of Fight ClubThe Astronauts show their love for Dick Butkus & Mike Ditka . Melissa gets into an altercation and Alex doesn’t know if Charles Martin is his friend or stalker.
2022-04-1523 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsRacist BabiesThe Astronauts talk about the illusive critical race theory. Melissa has a plan to take out Putin if she has to and Alex has more breaking news complete with hot takes from Stanley McGregor. Oh and of course they have to talk about the NFL's QB Shuffle.
2022-04-0119 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsI Love Ron MartinThe Astronauts are still in awe of World War 3. Melissa looks up shirtless Putin photos and Alex has questionable run-ins with a local celebrity.
2022-03-2336 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsWar TalkThe Astronauts talk WW3. Alex reports breaking news and directs us to the best badass Ukrainian videos. Melissa then asks Alex to grant her a dying wish and he quickly turns her down. Need more Astronauts fun? Join us on our We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group. We need friends during this turbulent time.
2022-03-1024 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsOld People PityThe Astronauts both ignore possible dead people in cars. Melissa shares her favorite after surgery treat and Alex feels like he is now a cat person.
2022-03-0615 minWe Could Have Been Astronauts#Team BarabbasThe Astronauts have the worst Super Bowl predictions. Melissa just has to see Michael Jackson’s belly button and Alex starts another new religion based upon a little known biblical figure.
2022-02-1530 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsBINGOThe Astronauts want their own national month of recognition. Melissa dips into the shady world of Adult Bingo and Alex wonders if he’s allowed to think 18 year old girls are pretty.
2022-02-0834 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsLadies With BabiesThe Astronauts investigate NFL QB’s Girlfriends. Melissa learns not to drink urine to cure the common COVID and Alex gives out amazing tips to land a job.
2022-01-2927 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsTooth WormsThe Astronauts talk dentist etiquette and toothbrush colors. Melissa may not be as German as she thought and Alex comes in hot with advice that maybe shouldn’t be followed.
2022-01-2527 minWe Could Have Been Astronauts22 & MeThe Astronauts want you to let your lamp light shine on their Facebook Page. Melissa makes more resolutions that may or may not include murdering Dace Russell and Alex gives us a peak into how he would handle the I-95 pileup. Also, shout out to our sole listener in Hesse Germany.
2022-01-1431 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsAttainable GoalsThe Astronauts pour a 40 for Betty. Alex finds the most shocking story on Reddit, while Melissa starts the year off with a good cry over a questionable sports figure.
2022-01-0832 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsDayQuil Vs NyQuilThe Astronauts decide to take all of their health care advice from Terry Bradshaw. Melissa is still waiting to be embraced by the Lamp Lovers Community and Alex has a problem with the ‘TH” at the end of the word Meth.
2021-12-3127 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsOfficial Lamp LoversThe Astronauts continue a Christmas Tradition. Alex phones in from the Netherlands and Melissa finds a new group of people who share her passion. Merry Holidays Everyone!
2021-12-2134 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsPlay Stupid Games Win Stupid PrizesThe Astronauts cover a lot of ground in this episode from Target Bags to Astroworld. Melissa dishes her tips on using FB Market Place and Alex takes a life lesson from Taylor Swift.
2021-12-0135 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsCrash Into MeThe Astronauts are plagued with technical difficulty and had to turn in a short show. Melissa starts her 41st year and Alex favors her with his horn impressions. We will work on figuring out how technology and the internets work. Stand by and know we love you.
2021-11-1814 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsMy PillowThe Astronauts wonder if you really can kill someone with a pillow. Alex wishes everyone would raise their standards and Melissa knows Stella got her groove back.
2021-11-0618 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsSounds Like A FurbyThe Astronauts learn about mortal sins. Melissa has good reason not to carve pumpkins this year, and Alex takes all the credit for the worldwide success of Squid Games
2021-10-3117 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsDave Thomas ApprovedThe Astronauts talk death at a Phish show. Melissa kind of makes a friend/stalker and Alex flaunts his free Frosty Card because he’s adopted.
2021-10-2431 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsSuck It Social MediaThe Astronauts talk Facebook Whistleblower. Melissa is done with Cancel Culture and Alex wonders how to get rid of Social Media.
2021-10-1821 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsKing of the CastleThe Astronauts single handedly boost streaming numbers for Bruce Hornsby and Tupac. Melissa learns she can’t count on Alex as backup in a bar fight and listeners finally learn the one word Alex wants censored.
2021-10-0922 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsDon't Yuck My YumThe Astronauts find out if 911 can trace you if calling from a cellphone. Melissa prays for Terry Bradshaw to be on Cameo and Alex is either having multiple strokes or is just super human.
2021-09-2721 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsReverse EducationASTRO EXTRA: The Astronauts have a tight 3 minutes on Super Girl. Melissa tells tales of Willy the Meth Dealer and Alex nails his Fantasy Football team name.
2021-09-1111 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsUp The DosageThe Astronauts wax nostalgic for Big Johnson T-Shirts. Melissa uncovers a Fast & Furious conspiracy that chills the soul, and Alex records his Covid Care plan on the show so it will be admissible in most Alaskan courts.
2021-09-0630 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsPiss PoolThe Astronauts learn that most of the Night Court cast is dead. Melissa gets excited about being back in style every 10 years and Alex still holds out hope in humanity to turn around the entire world.
2021-08-3033 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsAll I See Are Short GiraffesThe Astronauts deal with the fallout from the Phish show. Melissa is trying to decide what to be for Halloween and Alex sings the praises of female drug dealers.
2021-08-1925 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsWho The Hell Is Don HenleyThe Astronauts’ favorite cats return. Melissa learns that 4pm is Alex’s witching hour. Alex lets the listeners know why he never lies or has explosive diarrhea.
2021-08-0927 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsReal ID Is FakeASTRO EXTRA: The Astronauts wait to be cancelled. Melissa questions Alex’s citizenship while Alex continues to sign legal documents with this enemies' blood.
2021-08-0309 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsFun in FunkoThe Astronauts deliver a very special episode for Alex’s Birthday. Melissa discovers Funko Pops and Alex celebrates Uncles named Jerry.
2021-07-2634 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsCosby ConspiracyThe Astronauts delve into top stories of the day and why they don’t matter. Melissa continues storm chasing while Alex mixes alcohol and meds while on a tequila tear.
2021-07-1429 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsFunerals & FireworksThe Astronauts have some old man heat wave talk coming your way. Melissa keeps going to funerals and Alex has an aversion to parking lots.
2021-07-0329 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsGoPro LarryThe Astronauts listen to cicadas while earning their explicit label. Melissa has theories on Hollywood “suicides”, and Alex fears ticks, mosquitos and cyber attacks.
2021-06-2024 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsMatt Damon’s Rough PatchThe Astronauts wonder who is the most beloved on the show. Melissa’s brain melts when she learns the cast of Eurotrip. Alex changes his name once again and praises the work of one Dave Matthews.
2021-06-1424 minWe Could Have Been Astronauts5th Grade EpiphanyASTRO EXTRA: The Astronauts really have no thoughts on John Mayer. We learn Melissa may have grown up in a Dickens Novel and Alex realizes the moment he learned he was adopted.
2021-06-0610 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsQuaid Brother ScenarioThe Astronauts do a deep dive on the Quaid Dynasty. Melissa goes in search of hard pickle seltzer and Alex pinpoints the exact moment when drugs will finally destroy his brain.
2021-06-0117 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsHitler LandscapingThe Astronauts send their love to their fans in India. Melissa can’t handle self-checkout lines and Alex wants America to only have 50 states as he redraws state boundaries.
2021-05-2324 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsRockets To RussiaThe Astronauts tell you what Must See TV really is. Melissa is still trying to figure out what’s going on in the Middle East and Alex finds something even “better” than the Trump Rambo flag.
2021-05-1734 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsThe C word in AustralianThe Astronauts plan a world tour. Melissa wonders if cults need to register as an LLC and Alex is all about his new nickname “David Cop-A-Feel”.
2021-05-0921 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsTorpedoes on SaturdayThe Astronauts figure out the difference between hoagies and grinders. Melissa knows that Santa is immortal and Alex discovers his type of lady.
2021-05-0129 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsTrained By The AcademyThe Astronauts kick off season 2 with AK 47 fire. Alex believes listeners will save America and Melissa once again lands herself firmly on another watch list.
2021-04-1537 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsThe Wizards of PornThe Astronauts may have committed slander and or libel against Andrew Cuomo. Melissa looks into launching an OnlyFans and Alex goes back to school to become a Walmart Pharmacist.
2021-03-2526 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsIt's A Mann's WorldThe Astronaut’s watch in awe as James Brown goes off the rails in a 1988 CNN interview. Melissa is missing bars and Alex fills the listeners in on the etymology of Snoop Dogg’s name.
2021-03-1530 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsFishin' & FirearmsThe Astronauts ponder their place on the Rainbow Bridge. Melissa questions men’s choices on dating apps and Alex goes against his circadian rhythm.
2021-03-0526 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsFree Just For YouThe Astronauts survive Snowmageddon 2021. Melissa has an accident and Alex continues his confusion between guinea pigs, gerbils and hamsters.
2021-02-2822 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsThe Bee's KneesThe Astronauts talk recent celebrity deaths. Alex proves himself to be untrustworthy and Melissa remains Aryan Garg’s biggest fan.
2021-02-1321 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsSafe But SadThe Astronauts talk Super Bowl and Stimulus. Melissa has parking wars with her neighbors and Alex wonders why anyone would want to be normal.
2021-02-0633 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsHitting Them DL'sThe Astronauts see the Amazon logo in a new light. Alex explains the Robinhood / GameStop fiasco and Melissa settles on a Reddit username.
2021-01-3032 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsBass Is Very ImportantThe Astronauts feel it's time Dave Russel delivers on his promise of Garth Brooks tickets. Melissa meditates on Tom Petty & his Bass Player while Alex relays his day leading up to a vomitous event.
2021-01-2326 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsBirectal MonthlyAll is not calm or very bright on this week’s episode. The Astronauts learn about all the Holidays. Melissa brings back a Christmas Tradition and Alex turns on idiots.
2020-12-2330 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsYou Toobin?The Astronauts have the recipe for success with their latest business venture. Melissa wants a specific listener to be her best friend while Alex knew the moment he would be a fantastic father thanks to Michael Jackson.
2020-12-1922 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsDIY YourselfThe Astronauts know the real reason why monoliths keep appearing. Alex prepares for a dark winter as he mourns the death of Kirk Douglas & Little Richard. Also find out what event would send Melissa to live in the woods like the Unabomber.
2020-12-1334 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsFlank of FlagsThe Astronauts talk Thanksgiving preparations and Trump Rambo flags. Melissa is holding her breath on a Steelers' undefeated season and Alex tells of his Big Ben Experience.
2020-11-2532 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsWine, Dimes & Nose BoopsThe Astronauts ponder signs from beyond the grave. Melissa wonders if her guinea pig would eat her face and Alex talks masked freedom. Enjoy
2020-11-2024 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsMam ItASTRO EXTRA: Subaru knows its audience and Alex & Melissa play “Is That Hair Real?”.
2020-11-1217 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsElection Nights In AmericaThe Astronauts are talking the election, how could they not? Melissa is not ready to celebrate because God never lets her have anything nice, and Alex is living his political dream with very little sleep and a whole lot of analysis.
2020-11-0633 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsIn Ron We TrustThe Astronauts welcome their new fans in India. Melissa pledges to take up Scientology and Alex assures us there is an afterlife. We would be remiss if we didn’t talk about Fleetwood Mac and Ghost Monty. Join the Astronauts on the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook group and tell a friend about that show.
2020-10-2930 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsCereal SoupAstro Extra: Verizon makes Melissa be a bitch and Alex needs answers to some pretty important questions.
2020-10-1710 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsCannabutterThe Astronauts share their 5G anxiety. Melissa refuses to talk the Presidential Debate and Alex becomes the perfect mix of Martha Stewart & Snoop Dogg.
2020-10-0536 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsVegas MaybeThe Astronauts show why they could never be astronauts, cause math is hard. Melissa looks into starting a candy venture and Alex tries super hard to coin a phrase….and fails.
2020-09-2427 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsUkrainians For TrumpThe Astronauts go on a marathon. Trigger Warning, there is a lot of political talk thanks to Alex. Melissa recounts 9/11 and oddly enough agrees with Alex Bishop’s somewhat lucid commentary.
2020-09-1850 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsHello Domino's?The Astronauts turn in an episode fraught with alcohol and dog interruptions. Alex, after nine years, finally becomes the model boyfriend until Melissa unearths the truth. Oh yeah and there is talk of fetishes and pizza.
2020-09-0122 min2020-08-2319 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsIt Bothers MeThe Astronauts review the WAP video. Melissa and Alex just can’t let it go.
2020-08-1711 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsWAP There It IsThe Astronauts find out who really listens to the show. Melissa finds her reason to live in a Ren & Stimpy reboot an Alex is blown away by the WAP video.
2020-08-1623 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsScreaming In Your Heart Part 2In the series finale, the Astronauts learn about teen dating apps. Melissa lets us know who’s in her “Rona Bubble” and Alex continues his rants on children and ignorance.
2020-08-0919 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsScream In Your Heart Part 1The first part in the season finale, the Astronauts talk of how children truly ruin society. Melissa shame eats an Italian Hoagie and Alex promotes the practice of doing whatever the hell you want.
2020-08-0227 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsBranch Manager BillThe Astronauts announce the winner of “Name That Panda” contest. Alex recounts his biggest life regret on the eve of his 30th Birthday and Melissa is attacked by bats. Join the Astronauts on the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group.
2020-07-2031 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsKissing 40The Astronauts let listeners see behind the curtain and talk of a lost episode. Melissa finally realizes why she hates Disney and Alex lets everyone know why they never have to talk to him ever.
2020-07-0842 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsDrink Till I'm PrettyThe Astronauts may have a line on deep state government secrets. Melissa ventures out to play some mini putt putt and catch The Rona. Alex lays waste to dating norms and continues to offend both genders.
2020-06-3030 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsGoals Are OverratedThe Astronauts revel in some Semisonic. Alex tells us why we are all political chumps and Melissa realizes she needs a midday nap if she ever wants to see last call.
2020-06-2131 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsAlex XThe Astronauts refuse to turn off their cell phones when recording and end up taking calls from Lu Dobbs, who they will be suing, and Rob Kain. Melissa is in a glass case of Montgomery Jones emotion, and Alex reports on Dave Russell’s sick burn on the Facebooks.
2020-06-1726 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsHyper FocusIt's an Astro Extra! Melissa is back to watching the news and Alex refuses to mic drop.
2020-06-1318 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsWe Went ThereThe Astronauts really wish they left Earth with SpaceX this week. This episode is what you get when you have a white woman and Hispanic man talk racism. I guess enjoy or maybe open your mind? You can always tell us your feels on the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group.
2020-06-0532 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsThe Whole ShamboozieThe Astronauts picked a hell of a week to not pay attention to the news. Melissa questions why Facebook will only show her ads for body shapers and Alex says the word sexy an uncomfortable amount of times.
2020-06-0130 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsAlex AdvisoryThe Astronauts continue their feud with Tipper Gore. Alex talks about his white privilege (because no one told him he’s Guatemalan) and Melissa just wants to eat a sandwich and maybe kill someone.
2020-05-2022 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsMurder Hornet Fight ClubThe Astronauts watch nature go crazy on a Murder Hornet. Melissa decides she will learn Twitter just to troll Tipper Gore and Alex has just about enough of Elon Musk and celebrity stage names.
2020-05-0925 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsJohn HopkinsIt's an Astro Extra reminding us all to embrace the small things and maybe not butt chug bleach.
2020-05-0405 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsQuarentinoThe Astronauts decide where they should and shouldn’t do drugs. Melissa thinks she’s being visited by either a paranormal Monty or samsquanch and Alex fires in hot with the latest UFO and Cheeto talk. Join the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group and follow them on Insta @wecouldhavebeenastronauts.
2020-04-3026 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsRon White Sexy TimesThe Astronauts celebrate a very unlikely milestone. Alex erects a shrine to Roy Rogers and Melissa does some Covid dreaming. Samsquanch erotica also makes its return, enjoy! Join the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group and follow them on Insta @wecouldhavebeenastronauts.
2020-04-2119 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsMennonite MowerAstronaut Extra: Melissa & Alex try to figure out how to mow a lawn. They soon give up and pose a challenge to the listening audience.
2020-04-1813 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsPickle DrunkThe Astronauts survive another week of Thunderdome. Melissa has figured out the cure to cancer thanks to alcohol and Alex reminisces about the time the Guatemalan Cartel gave him his birth date. There may be some football talk in there too. Enjoy
2020-04-1118 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsMelissa's MeltdownIn spite of their ongoing audio issues, the Astronauts turn in their most intelligent conversation to date (this just means no dick jokes were told). Alex brings the stats while Melissa delivers the most F bombs in broadcast history.
2020-04-0735 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsThunderdomeThe Astronauts are back with some iffy sound quality and a Dave Russell mystery. Alex actually has some sage advice and Melissa learns why she can’t be in quarantine.
2020-03-2822 minWe Could Have Been AstronautsHoliday DeflectSince it’s the Holidays, the Astronauts tell you what not to talk about during family gatherings. Alex wages a religious war and Melissa goes on a date with a guy with the gouts.
2019-12-2330 min
World's Toughest PodcastToughest Mudder Philly Recap with Stefanie Bishop, Chikorita, Sara Knight, and Allison Tai.Toughest Mudder Philly Recap! Toughest Mudder Philly was this past weekend. Trevor Cichosz and Allison Tai came away with the first place wins and 208 runners out of 717 (29%) qualified as contenders. Before we get into the Toughest Philly recap information Will talks about Ian Panter and the car accident he was in as he was leaving the Saturday morning Tough Mudder course. The local news station where Ian lives did a story on the accident and we listen to a clip from it. If you'd like to help Ian and his family with their medical expenses...
2017-05-241h 47