Shows
The Sonder EffectLove, Loss, and Growing Through Grief: A Conversation with Kaitlin ReaganSend us a textIn this raw and moving episode of The Sonder Effect, Alexa and Mariam sit down with Kaitlin Reagan to talk about the complexities of love, loss, and life after grief. Kaitlin opens up about losing her partner, Francesco, at a young age and the way that kind of heartbreak reshapes identity, relationships, and how we move through the world.From the quiet ache of grief to the moments of healing, Kaitlin shares what it’s like to grieve in public, rebuild in private, and navigate dating, friendship, and self-trust al...
2025-06-051h 23The Sonder EffectHow to Feel Your Feelings (Even When You’d Rather Not)Send us a textIn this episode of The Sonder Effect, Mariam and Alexa explore a common yet often overlooked pattern in therapy and everyday life: intellectualizing our emotions instead of feeling them. From clients who can name every reason for their pain without ever accessing it, to therapists who inadvertently stay in the safety of cognitive space, they unpack how and why this disconnection happens, and what we can do to come back to ourselves.They discuss signs of emotional avoidance, the childhood roots of shutting down feelings, and the physical toll of suppressing...
2025-05-2337 minThe Sonder EffectChoosing Sobriety in a Culture that DrinksSend us a textWhat happens when you take on one of the most intense jobs in the world, working in medicine, without the socially accepted pressure valve of alcohol?In this episode of The Sonder Effect, Alexa and Mariam sit down with a first-year surgery resident who made the bold decision to get sober while navigating the chaos of residency and applying to Emergency Medicine programs.Together, they explore what led her to reevaluate her relationship with alcohol, how she coped with early sobriety in a culture where drinking is often normalized (a...
2025-05-081h 17The Sonder EffectUnderstanding Retroactive Jealousy: When the Past Feels Like a ThreatSend us a textHave you ever stumbled across an old photo of your partner with their ex and felt a sudden pang of jealousy you couldn’t quite explain? You’re not alone. In this episode of The Sonder Effect, Mariam and Alexa dive into the quiet but intense emotional experience known as retroactive jealousy—the obsession or discomfort over your partner’s past relationships that can creep into even the most loving connections.They explore why retroactive jealousy happens, how it differs from everyday jealousy, and what it can reveal about our own f...
2025-04-0936 minThe Sonder EffectPart 2: Breaking the OCD Cycle - Rewiring the Brain, Building Resilience & the Power of ERPSend us a textIn Part 2 of The Sonder Effect, hosts Mariam Ayvazyan and Alexa Montemayor take a deeper dive into OCD, moving beyond understanding obsessions and compulsions to focus on breaking free from the cycle. They explore Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—the gold-standard treatment designed to rewire the brain’s response to intrusive thoughts. But recovery is more than just resisting compulsions; it’s about building resilience, tolerating discomfort, and fostering self-compassion along the way.Whether you or someone you love is navigating OCD, this episode provides insight, practi...
2025-03-1344 minThe Sonder EffectPart 1: Breaking the OCD Cycle—Obsessions, Compulsions & AnxietySend us a textWelcome to Part 1 of our two-part series on Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) on The Sonder Effect with Alexa Montemayor and Mariam Ayvazyan! In this episode, we explore what OCD really is—how it manifests, why it develops, and how it differs from general anxiety disorders.We break down the obsession-compulsion cycle, discuss why OCD thrives on uncertainty, and challenge some of the biggest misconceptions about the disorder. Plus, we dive into why traditional talk therapy alone isn’t always effective and introduce the principles behind Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), the g...
2025-02-2618 minThe Sonder EffectPerfectionism & Avoidance: The Tug-of-War Keeping You StuckSend us a textHave you ever found yourself waiting for the “perfect” moment to start something—only to never actually begin? You’re not alone. In this episode of The Sonder Effect, Alexa Montemayor and Mariam Ayvazyan dive into the sneaky partnership between perfectionism and avoidance. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), they explore how these two inner forces keep us stuck in cycles of procrastination, fear, and self-doubt.Join us as we uncover the deeper fears driving perfectionism, the ways avoidance convinces us to stay in our comfort zones, and—most...
2025-02-0635 minThe Sonder EffectMeet your hosts Mariam and Alexa: A journey into our careers, mentorship and the influence of IFSSend us a textWelcome to The Sonder Effect! In this debut episode, Mariam Ayvazyan, founder of Achel Therapy, licensed psychotherapist, and adjunct NYU professor, joins her co-host Alexa Montemayor, psychotherapist-in-training and NYU professor’s assistant, to explore the fascinating world of Internal Family Systems (IFS).Discover how IFS helps us understand and embrace the “parts” within ourselves—managers, firefighters, exiles, and the wise core Self—while fostering compassion and transformation. Mariam and Alexa share personal stories about how IFS has shaped their lives and therapeutic practices, offering insights and practical tools to navigate your inner worl...
2025-01-2731 minThe Sonder EffectTrailer: The Sonder EffectSend us a textIn the debut episode of The Sonder Effect, hosts Alexa Montemayor (MA, MHC-LP) & Mariam Ayvazyan (MA, MBA, LMHC) introduce listeners to the heart and purpose behind their podcast. Mariam, a licensed psychotherapist, founder of Achel Therapy, executive coach, and adjunct professor at NYU, joins Alexa, a psychotherapist-in-training, professor’s assistant, and mental health researcher, to create a space for meaningful conversations about mental health, emotional well-being, and the profound connections that shape our lives.Together, they explore the concept of sonder—the realization that every person we encounter carries a life as v...
2025-01-0904 min