Shows
Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryThe Regret Reduction ProgramAllen and Thom return to familiar emotional sobriety territory of living in the pauses and managing our reactions to fears both real and imagined, which this time revolve around recent Presidential shenanigans.
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here:
11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K.
ID: 875 319 1947
Password: 2GROWIN
Learn more about Joe C...2025-02-1321 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEmotional Sobriety and LoveReturning to our definition of a more mature love, challenging not the concept of “self” entirely, but an expanding our sense of self to include others, embracing relationships. We only get better at this by practicing!
More about Thom’s book “What Love Is” on his website: https://www.thomrutledge.com/thom-s-books
Actor Michael Shannon on love: https://www.npr.org/2025/01/31/nx-s1-5272576/actor-michael-shannon-explains-how-his-idea-of-love-has-changed-as-hes-grown-older
Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/
Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein partic...2025-02-0822 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery2024 in ReviewResponsibility creates empowerment. Closing this year of the podcast as we look ahead to 2025, Allen, Thom, and Patrick consider the evolution of the concept of emotional sobriety. So much of it comes down to relationships. Standing for ourselves while continuing to show up for others. The more we allow for flexibility, the freer we become.
Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read B...2024-12-3037 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryShould Auld Acquaintance Be ForgotGoing into yet another fraught American Presidential election, Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss their fears and feelings of debt and responsibility to their fellows. On top of the political implications that come with the event, these times of intense conflict truly put our emotional sobriety to the test.
Access a few of Thom’s political pieces:
Open Letter: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lRuTLtClOZOKu2zmXA8RQ2lcPC4TzzbL/view?usp=sharing
Two Things I Don’t Understand: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1N-q7_50MOvDWIruov9qtMqoYJNwc2D23/view?usp=sh...2024-11-0436 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEmotional Sobriety as “Democratic Pluralism”Joe C., Allen, and Thom welcome author William Schaberg (Bill), author of 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well to discuss recovery and emotional sobriety, reading a passage from his book along the way. In striving to attain unity but not uniformity with our fellows, we pursue what Bill refers to as “the most extreme form of democratic pluralism imaginable.”
Learn more about or purchase 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well
https://30thingsthebook.com/
Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read William Schaberg's 30 Things chapter-by-chapter here:
11.00am East Co...2024-10-2148 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryAcknowledging & Accepting Another PerspectiveJoe C., Allen, and Thom read from William Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well to further explore the dismantling of “shoulds.” Our self-centeredness that’s expressed in an inability to not accept others’ feelings is also an expression of emotional dependency. One goal of emotional sobriety is to connect with others more readily and deeply. As Schaberg writes, by laying aside our judgements (unreasonable expectations; unenforceable rules), the world becomes “wider, broader and far more interesting.”
Learn more about or purchase 30 Things:
https://30thingsthebook.com/
To listen to pitches from...2024-10-1341 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryIn Pardoning, We Are PardonedOn the journey towards forgiving others, we can’t bypass our grief. Thom, Patrick, and Tom Potash discuss both processing and letting go of grievance, focusing today on our families of origin. One way of looking at forgiveness is as our natural state when we aren’t holding onto old pain.
Tom Potash found his earliest inkling of what forgiving his mother could mean for his emotional sobriety in the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow...2024-09-2940 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoverySo Worth LivingAllen, Thom, and Patrick read from the AA Grapevine again and reflect on the story of someone in recovery from addiction who suffered traumatic brain injury. Emotional Sobriety promises more than just a sober stasis. True freedom is possible as we transition away from "okay if" towards "okay even if" framework for living our lives.
To read today’s AA Grapevine article, “So Worth Living,” access the .pdf at the following link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sYq85EFs-2cdwmlLb-rE2auB0bqQ_1tA/view?usp=sharing
Coming up for our Florida or travel-h...2024-09-1630 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryGrip LightlyNo matter our level of certainty about anything, emotional sobriety advises holding the truth in our hands but gripping it lightly. We find “rolling with the punches” to be much stronger survival mechanism than the inflexibility and ossification of a fixed position. This week, Allen and Thom talk more about perfectionism and freedom, which we define as having the possibility of a new experience at any given moment of our lives.
Coming up for our Florida or travel-happy listeners is the International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA) in Orlando, FL, September 20-22nd, where Allen Berge...2024-09-0932 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryChallenging Core BeliefsOur sagely Joe Chisholm returns for heartfelt conversation about the negative self-concepts that can undermine our recoveries. Experiences which are imprinted onto us at a young age become core beliefs about ourselves which mature into unhelpful distortions. Feelings of unworthiness and shame are just a couple Thom and Patrick explore this week. The work of becoming emotionally sober involves challenging these beliefs through staying present. How do we stay present? Through the development of a daily practice.
Coming up for our Florida or travel-happy listeners is the International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA) in Orlando, F...2024-09-0250 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryStay Connected & Add More SelfJoe C. rejoins Allen and Thom this week, to discuss looking beyond what a person is saying to focus on what they’re experiencing. Modeling emotional sobriety tools in ever-growing circles (beyond our meetings and loved ones) into a world in need of good examples. Practicing emotional sobriety in environments where there's none, or very little.
“Listen now. When people talk listen completely. Don't be thinking what you're going to say.
Most people never listen. Nor do they observe.
You should be able to go into a room and when you come o...2024-08-0556 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryBalancing on the Relational BeamAllen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the challenge and opportunity in conducting their relationships in a manner appropriate to those relationships. We circle back to politics, where despite our differences we try to not lose our human connection and empathy for our fellows.
Read Thom’s “Therapy 4 Politics”: https://www.thomrutledge.com/therapy4politics
Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Tw...2024-07-2833 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryBeating the QuestionnaireAllen, Thom, and Patrick bring their AA Grapevine series to a close and talk "doomscrolling," rehab, and first steps.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “The Zinger,” can be accessed here via .pdf: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1b-uDb9bGY2omGXgfw4ztLq3-b2QFDKi2/view?usp=sharing
Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram...2024-07-1535 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryHurtling Towards SerenityJoe C. and Thom join Patrick before Allen pops in to discuss our second to last AA Grapevine reading series on Emotional Sobriety.
This week’s Emotional Sobriety Grapevine Article, “Batter Up,” can be accessed here via .pdf: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qX48R8UzkFYuL9gHS4OgQNtQ4KL3KQeD/view?usp=sharing
Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media.
Podcast...2024-07-0834 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryLife Goes OnCarol Carter drops by to help us read the latest in Emotional Sobriety from the AA Grapevine - the first article in our series that has some objectionable beats, which Allen and Thom get into. Some emphasis this week on the loved ones we lose during our recovery, and how we can manage the grief that arises.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “Life Goes On” can be accessed here via .pdf: https://drive.google.com/file/d/107HghvemUOnUxBG0oQ0LRQK5lUvsk5OM/view?usp=drive_link
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seas...2024-06-2427 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryGet Quiet, and ListenEarnie Larsen once said, “Your program cannot take you further than your definition of recovery.” Take a moment and answer the following question: What is your definition of recovery?
Happy Father's Day from Allen, Thom, and Patrick to all who celebrate.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “Tink, Tink, Tink,” can be accessed herehttps://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/tink-tink-tink
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media...2024-06-1624 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoverySpiritual GPSAllen, Thom, and Patrick delve into the latest Emotional Sobriety-centric AA Grapevine article. We discuss rock bottoms, taking action, and the role of prayer in disentangling ourselves from misery to embrace a burgeoning consciousness of emotional freedom.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “Enter my Lonely Heart” can be accessed on the website here: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/enter-my-lonely-heart
I will update the show notes with a .pdf version as soon as possible.
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
2024-05-2038 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryMake Plans, Don’t Plan the Results!Allen, Thom, and Patrick revisit the principle of staying sober for one more day, even when it would make more sense to get loaded. We also spend some time on what it means to “future trip," and how we can stay present while also heading off trouble down the road.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “Once a Zombie”: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/once-zombie
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
...2024-04-2922 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoverySo Worth ItAllen, Thom, and Patrick read another emotional sobriety anecdote from the AA Grapevine and discuss early sobriety, sponsors, and attempting to live better lives.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “So Worth It”: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/so-worth-it
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Fri...2024-04-2225 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryDream Come TrueAllen mines some lessons from a death in the family and Thom reflects on an inspiring recent phase of good health as we land on our latest Grapevine article, which has to do with finding recovery and fellowship in meetings around the world. Remaining flexible, finding Solution within shifting conditions is at the heart of emotional sobriety.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “Dream Come True”: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/dream-come-true
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Upcoming events with Allen Berge...2024-04-0831 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryParty GuyThe Grapevine story Carol, Allen, Thom, and Patrick get into this week has to do with a longtime AA member fielding some annoying criticism from a Fellow and being brought into deeper contact with recovery and all the reasons to “keep coming back.”
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “Party Guy”: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/party-guy
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media.
Podca...2024-03-2549 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery"The Experiment" with Sara StrombergAllen, Thom, and Patrick welcome Sara Stromberg, a many years recovering student of Gestalt therapy who discusses her sobriety and sponsorship of women over the years in light of today’s reading - a portrait of “controlled drinking.”
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article, “The Experiment”: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/experiment
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
...2024-03-0439 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryPassing It OnAllen, Thom, and Patrick reflect on small simple actions, our claiming of experiences rather than allowing them to claim us, which allow us to better cope with reality.
This week’s “Emotional Sobriety” Grapevine Article: https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/2024/jan/passing-it
Check out Howard Malitz’ Seasons of Sobriety podcast: https://pod.link/1460539626
Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
...2024-02-2631 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryMoving Beyond Our Challenging YearAs we head into another year of the podcast, Carol Carter, Thom, Allen, and Patrick reflect on a painful but also incredibly constructive 2023. Carol’s retirement brought her into fuller joy and embrace of self than she ever thought possible. Thom endured his wife’s surgery and a hellish cancer treatment. Allen has marched bravely through the ending of his marriage. Patrick has weathered a breakup and a serious injury. Through this and more, we continue trying to bring the best possible attitude to whatever life throws at us, recognizing that perfect isn’t possible.
Check o...2023-12-3141 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery“There Ain’t No Easy Cancer”Thom returns to the pod to bring Allen and Patrick up to speed on his last few challenging months, and unveils the plan for the new book he’ll be collaborating on with Allen: an update of “Earning Your Own Respect” to include a dimension of Emotional Sobriety. Allen describes some recent experiences he’s had with serendipity-a word that can describe the recovery gifts lying in wait for all of us if we trust the process. Our work continues.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C...2023-11-0643 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryKeeping Cool with Carol CarterOn a weekend of record heatwaves, to escape the crushing anxiety Thom and Patrick invite longtime collaborator Carol Carter on the pod to gauge her emotional sobriety after retiring from her longtime job. Thom shares some details about the attitude he’s trying to bring to his cancer diagnosis and treatment, while Patrick laments losing $750 in the space of five minutes, and how that challenged his emotional sobriety like few things in recovery have.
Check out our earlier podcast, Start Right Here, for an archive of amazing interviews and Emotional Sobriety-adjacent content with Allen and Tho...2023-07-1750 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryLet Fear Be Your Teacher Health care and financial insecurity are just a couple of the subjects Thom, Joe, and Patrick touch on as they contemplate how life’s most challenging dynamics truly put our emotional sobriety to the test.
Thom Rutledge’s “Let Fear Be Your Teacher”: https://www.thomrutledge.com/_files/ugd/e71801_8293179808864a26bd9b105520d458eb.pdf
His book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2...2023-06-2654 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryDepression's Long GamePicking up with Thom Rutledge about his recent struggles with depression, something that’s been with him since his early days of recovery. This form of crisis dovetails with a passage from Allen’s 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: “Getting stuck is our signal that it’s time to learn something new. The trouble we are experiencing, wherever it’s showing up in our lives, is highlighting the next step in our development, the next step in our emotional maturity, the next step in our recovery. That step is the journey of emotional sobriety.” Allen Berger returns to the podcast next...2023-05-2939 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryWhen the Rubber Meets the RoadWith some inspiration from W. Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis (one of the only self-help books Thom has ever read) and Allen’s metaphor of the gymnast’s precision moving across a balancing beam, we return again to how Emotional Sobriety can be put into practice. In particular, locating the "emotional center of gravity" inside ourselves allows us to be more present for our loved ones: in everyday life, and in times of crisis.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter...2023-04-1030 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryTrue AcceptanceBrian Lutz and Thom Rutledge recently encountered critical challenges in their marriages that tested their capacity for acceptance. Acceptance of their partners’ medical outcomes as well as their own messiness and shortcomings. Running towards, rather than away from their most uncomfortable feelings has helped them locate their emotional center of gravity inside themselves, rather than the shifting material conditions of their lives.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
htt...2023-04-0346 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEmotional Sobriety, Stewardship & Service (Part One)Recovery (and Emotional Sobriety) are contagious! Joe Chisholm returns to the pod to chat with Thom and Patrick about the benefits we can reap from looking outward, focusing on mutual aid rather than self-help. 12 Step recovery groups are “chaordic,” “communitarian” spaces where we can find the structure we need but also the latitude to be spontaneous. As we step into a more conscious life of recovery, we create positive ripples that affect the lives of others in unexpected ways. In this episode and the next (when Allen returns to the show), we discuss how to make more and greater ripples...2023-03-1348 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryRipple EffectThom and Allen hold down the fort to discuss the role of honesty in therapy. Allen shares the profoundly positive feedback he received from someone who brought Emotional Sobriety to their recovery while in prison.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Al...2023-02-1932 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryRadical HonestyThom and Allen discuss what it means to be "radically honest." Radical honesty begins with self-honesty. We can’t do it with other people if we don’t first understand ourselves.
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential...2023-02-0644 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryPractice Makes PracticeThom and Patrick dig into their rocky pre-recovery days, charting the evolution their consciousnesses have taken. While encountering challenges, keep it simple. Each day presents an opportunity to overthink things. Uncoupling from the notion of perfection is key. Emotional Sobriety is something we strive towards, a North Star that we’ll never fully reach. The practice is a constant unfolding, which we hone our entire lives.
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Se...2023-01-3031 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryPhilosophy over Psychology with Tom PotashAllen and Thom welcome longtime contributor to the Emotional Sobriety community Tom Potash to talk about his decades-long recovery journey, the letting go that sports fandom can require, and a more philosophy-based conception of the process of relying less on environmental support and more on self-support.
Please subscribe to Tom Potash’s channel, where his workshops and 12 Step studies can be found: https://www.youtube.com/@12steptom46/
The Emotional Sobriety Study Area details can be found here: https://4dphd.com/emotional-sobriety/
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen...2023-01-2357 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryA Spiritual Path Through Emotional SobrietyRecovery stalwart Richard Warner had to announce himself as a newcomer after decades in the program, a formative experience that he’s grateful for today. With Thom and Allen he walks us through his journey from the depths of addiction to the daily striving for greater Emotional Sobriety.
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1 2023-01-1657 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryLiving Consciously with Roger AndesRoger Andes discusses his body-oriented work as a therapist, cultivating connections with others and within himself revolving around the preservation of integrity. Being deeply connected to others while also being connected to ourselves need not be goals that cut against each other. Almost always, there is a path to both.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love S...2023-01-0952 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryMeditating on the New Year with Herb KaighanLongtime collaborator, first-time guest Herb K. joins us to discuss the role of meditation in his daily practice, and how being in alignment with reality is foundational in our evolution towards emotional sobriety. Allen, Thom, and Patrick check in about their greatest lessons and challenges in 2022, looking ahead to the promise of a new year.
Thank you for being with us through these episodes. More will be revealed.
Herb K.’s book, “Practicing the Here and Now”:
https://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Here-Now-Intentional-Meditation/dp/1616496746
More on Herb K. a...2022-12-3045 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryMore Will Be Revealed with Joe C.This week we share our thoughts on receiving & offering guidance to other addicts across a wide span of experience as we navigate the recovery highway. Joe C. from Rebellion Dogs returns to the show to weigh in.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keyword...2022-12-1947 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryHigher and Friendly Powers with Dr. Peg O’ConnorPeg joins us to talk about her more secular conception of a Higher Power, informed by her background in philosophy and the life and work of William James. While working the steps and doing the fearless and thorough moral inventory, she explains how Hume’s list of virtues can come into play. As we redefine our approach to self-esteem in recovery, we can think of it as “knowing how to belong to ourselves.” In this work she strives alongside her students to cultivate an expanded sense of human decency and moral ideals.
More on Peg O’Conno...2022-12-1255 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryOur Inner Civil WarIf you’re disturbed about something, we encourage investigating what’s beneath that disturbance. This episode we explore the psychological mechanism called projection, and what it can teach us about ourselves as we try to live our lives more meaningfully and effectively.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-S...2022-12-0542 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryThe Importance (and Difficulty!) of Our Daily PracticeWith the serenity prayer, we try to figure out the things in our lives that we have the power to change. Here, Thom and Patrick mull the discipline that it takes to be in a practice of emotional sobriety.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr...2022-11-2834 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryThanksgiving Survival GuideIn preparation for the forthcoming high calorie sit-downs many of us are having with friends and family this week, Allen and Patrick run down a list of the twelve most common things that mess up the holidays. First we’ll identify the mistakes, then we’ll discuss some strategies of avoiding them. As with so many other issues on the podcast, a lot of this comes down to managing expectations.
Here’s a PDF to download the list in full:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1p953Gq-UApWN08i7mo0Q5zC6everDFKi/view?usp...2022-11-2335 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryThe Holidays: Come As You AreAllen’s big Italian dinners. Thom getting kicked by a horse. Patrick learning what to do with his hands, now that he’s no longer getting loaded. There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to our expectations for ourselves and others surrounding the holidays. Today we discuss how we might be more present for our loved ones in the days ahead, or how to cope when we can’t find that Hallmark enjoyment around the table.
Read Thom's piece "The Rules of Self-Care Apply to the Holidays Too," https://www.thomrutledge.com/_files/ugd/e71801_c8f8b44df1...2022-11-1445 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryBetween Wisdom & DisciplineAt a certain point (or maybe various points) along the recovery way, we each develop an awareness of what we might call our own inner wisdom, but rather than make proper use of this amazing resource, we have a tendency to continue searching for answers outside of ourselves. Even before recovery, despite passages of stumbling through dysfunctional lives, we gain wisdom. Cultivating discipline is how we can put that wisdom to work for us.
Follow us on social media.
Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
...2022-11-0651 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryThom & Allen at the ICSAAAllen tells us about his formative years enlisting in the marines, Vietnam, alcohol and drugs. Thom of early struggles working as a counselor at an addiction treatment center and drinking off the clock. Both eventually found grace and recovery and now try to pay it forward. At the International Conference of Secular AA, we look at Bill Wilson’s letter through a magnifying glass. If the 12 Steps are practiced in our daily lives, Wilson suggests that we and those about us begin to find emotional sobriety. The transcendence of environmental support to self-support (Fritz Perls). The program is a “peop...2022-10-301h 18Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryMaking the Most of Fellowship & SupportLet's return to fundamental questions of what Emotional Sobriety is, and why we consider it the “next frontier." How do we build support systems, and how do we maintain them? How do we stay connected without losing ourselves? This is where notions of differentiation come in. It’s important not to idealize the group, but take what works and leave the rest.
Join us next week for our “live” episode at the International Conference of Secular AA, on October 29th @ 10:30am PST. Here’s how to login on Zoom:
Meeting ID: 879 9275 7142
Passc...2022-10-2337 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryWhat Progress Am I Making?How can we measure our progress (or lack there of) in productive ways? Learning to separate from self-condemnation & create/embrace health self-critique. Includes learning to give ourselves credit where credit is due, to build on successes & to forgive our fuck-ups without letting ourselves off the hook. Joe C. from Rebellion Dogs joins Thom and Allen this week.
Join us for our upcoming live show at the International Conference of Secular AA, on October 29th:
aasecular.org
Follow us on social media.
Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs
...2022-10-161h 00Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryRoom for AllLet’s exercise more authority and agency over our lives. Moving towards a focus on being rather than having.
A bit of Buddhist wisdom: Be careful to not mistake the finger pointing at the moon for the moon itself.
A bit of Emotional Sobriety wisdom: Emotional sobriety are two words pointing towards the moon.
The philosophy, concepts and methodologies associated with Emotional Sobriety are tools prescribed for those of us who want to improve ourselves. It is a way forward, a way to explore ourselves more deeply, a way to evaluate our progress and...2022-10-0950 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryLiving in the MomentLet’s talk about how essential the practice of living in the moment is to the condition we call emotional sobriety. AND about how radical living in the moment can actually be.
Join us for our upcoming live show at the International Conference of Secular AA, on October 29th:
aasecular.org
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets R...2022-10-0337 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryA New Self-EsteemDefining a self-esteem based on humility and an appropriate estimation of ourselves, our successes and failures. Cultivating this newfound sense of self is essential to coming into closer alignment with reality. Allen closes with some suggestions for exercises we can do to get the ball rolling on clearer appraisals of ourselves that could lead us towards change.
Learn more about our upcoming live show at the International Conference of Secular AA, on October 29th:
aasecular.org
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2...2022-09-2640 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoverySecular Recovery with Joe C.Author and podcast host Joe C. of Rebellion Dogs Publishing joins Allen and Thom to discuss a “yes, and” rather than “no, but,” maximally inclusive approach to recovery.
Learn more about Joe C. and listen to his show, Rebellion Dogs:
https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/
Learn more about our upcoming live show at the International Conference of Secular AA, on October 29th:
aasecular.org
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
E...2022-09-1953 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryManaging Anxiety with Gina RyanWe’re joined this week by Gina Ryan, who in her work with clients and on her weekly podcast imparts some of her vision for how to live with anxiety, bring its level down and develop greater self-compassion. Gina’s pursuits as an anxiety coach and Thom and Allen’s as therapists and practitioners of emotional sobriety are often one and the same.
Learn more about Gina Ryan and her podcast on the Anxiety Coaches website.
https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
In...2022-09-1154 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEmotional Sobriety at WorkIn observance of Labor Day, let’s talk about how to keep our emotional center of gravity in an environment that taxes us constantly. Whether it’s financial stress, caustic co-workers, or abusive bosses, the dynamic remains: the problem itself is less important than our reaction to it. If we can keep the ball in our court when navigating these issues, doors will begin opening for us left and right.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen...2022-09-0337 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryWhat Love IsAllen and Thom reunite after some time off for labor and travel. Today we spend some time digging into intimacy and relationships, with a spotlight on Thom’s book, What Love Is which seems to have only become truer and more relevant in the years since its publication. Next week for Labor Day, we'll discuss emotional sobriety in the workplace so stay tuned!.
You can find a copy of What Love Is on Amazon here:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542697344/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_752FWQJP591BRPXWH1CZ
Th...2022-08-2839 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryNeutralizing FearFrom relapses to climate catastrophes to dropping the ball at work, fears of both the immediate and existential varieties assert themselves in our daily lives at a constant clip. We can manage them and in some cases neutralize and overcome them completely with a greater dose of emotional sobriety. Thom Rutledge cites his own book Embracing Fear and digs into his own recent anxieties to shed some light on this topic.
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Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Em...2022-08-141h 01Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryRecovery 2.0 with Tommy RosenAllen's conception of recovery as a consciousness of freedom meets Tommy's holistic recovery approach that doesn’t shy away from the 12 steps. Our guest touches on the effectiveness of yoga, the raging debate over a pharmacological approach to recovery, and especially the recent resurgent interest in psychedelics and “microdosing” in treating addiction. We must marshal as much "recovery capital" as possible to overcome daily challenges to our sobriety.
Learn more about Tommy Rosen and Recovery 2.0 here:
https://r20.com
Tommy Rosen Instagram: @tommyrosen
Tommy Rosen Facebook: @tommyrosenofficial
Recovery 2.0 Instagram: @recovery2point0
Recovery 2.0 Facebook: @Recovery2point0
2022-08-0755 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryGetting Disappointments to Work for UsThe pursuit of greater emotional sobriety can allow us to mobilize our disappointments to take action in our lives, rather than being demoralized and demolished by them. Thom, Allen, and Patrick discuss how.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2C...2022-07-3124 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryOvercoming DisappointmentsHow we react to the disappointments we face in our relationships, in ourselves, and our politics is at the heart of emotional sobriety, because of how they come crashing into our unreasonable expectations and unenforceable rules. This week we focus on the process of investigating those disappointments to understand what they’re doing to us and how. Next week we’ll discuss how to mobilize them to act on our own behalf.
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Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Register for Allen and Thom’s upcoming...2022-07-2344 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryIntegrating Role ModelsFrom parents to found families to George Washington, Thom and Allen delve into lessons learned from various mentors throughout their lives to discuss how emotional sobriety comes into play as we try to follow our role models' examples.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
harmonyhollowfarm.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berg...2022-07-1750 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryNihilism and Perfectionism are "Kissing Cousins"We cannot deal with the suffocation of our interrelated nihilism and perfectionism without confronting our self-hate. Allen brings in the work of Dr. Karen Horn to expand on this notion. Humans are “part animal, part god,” and resolving that dissonance is the crux of emotional sobriety.
Register for “Face to Face with Perfectionism,” a 3-hour Zoom workshop with Thom Rutledge & Brian Lutz.
SATURDAY • JULY 16, 2022 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM PST
Email thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com w/ “IMPROV” in subject line to register, tix are $125.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobriet...2022-07-1147 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryDefeating NihilismWith the savage political climate bearing down on Patrick and the weight of alcoholism and various other -isms contributing to a prevalent pessimistic chorus many of us endure daily, Allen and Thom dissect what it means to have nihilism and how we can push back against it. One major antidote is greater emotional sobriety.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
harmonyhollowfarm.com
Allen’s first book, Love...2022-07-0447 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryFinding Inner PeaceAllen, Thom, and Patrick reflect on their first time meeting in person since the show’s inception.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon...2022-06-2945 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryBonding with DadToday we observe the ways we can practice these principles to accept our differences with our parents, find richer connections with them, or deal with the distress that arises when we’re in conflict.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Register for Allen and Thom’s upcoming workshop: The Path to Inner Peace and Emotional Freedom
Sunday, June 26th 2022.
10am-5pm
$75 to attend.
For additional details,
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen...2022-06-2034 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryAdding Self to Intimate RelationshipsHow do we handle disruptions in our closest relationships with this new mentality of emotional balance and greater “differentiation?” With Patrick as this week’s guinea pig, Allen and Thom workshop some practical solutions to “convey rather than convince” in touchy conversations with our significant others.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Register for Allen and Thom’s upcoming workshop: The Path to Inner Peace and Emotional Freedom
Sunday, June 26th 2022.
10am-5pm
$75 to attend.
For additional det...2022-06-1338 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryLove vs. DependencyHaving recently returned from his brother’s funeral, Thom reflects on the role Emotional Sobriety has played in his personal growth after a 23 year separation from his family. We also wrap up our earlier conversation about marriage and relationships - “people growers” that test our capacity to be “self governing” rather than unhealthily dependent on our partners.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Register for Allen and Thom’s upcoming Emotional Sobriety workshop: The Path to Inner Peace and Emotional Freedom
Sunday, June 26th 2022...2022-06-0636 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryMilestones in Early Recovery On this Memorial Day producer Patrick, coming up on his fourth year of continuous sobriety, chats with Allen about the role his relationships, step work, and service to others has played in his return from the depths of addiction. Moving away from an “I’m okay if” to an “I’m okay EVEN if” mentality is a recovery battle very much still being waged.
PRODUCER'S NOTE: This is a new recording and edit of an episode concept we published last week. We thought we could do better this time around, and I think we were right! -- PN
F...2022-05-3137 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEarly RecoveryProducer Patrick, coming up on his fourth year of continuous sobriety, chats with Allen about the role his relationships, step work, and service to others has played in his return from the depth of addiction to being a “real person” in the midst of a global pandemic.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed, referred to in the episode:
https://www.amazo...2022-05-2343 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryGrief and FlexibilityFollowing the sudden passing of Thom’s older brother Mike, we discuss the grief and reflection that accompanies tragedy through an emotionally sober lens.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed, referred to in the episode:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Secrets-Revealed-Intimacy-Connection/dp/0757303978/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=love+secrets+revealed+allen+berger&qid=1650843975&sprefix=love+secrets+reve%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1
2022-05-1653 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryMother's DayThis holiday we observe cooperating rather than compromising with our loved ones in gift giving and receiving. For those with good or bad experiences with their moms. No matter what you’ve suffered, depending on how you work with it, you can start to integrate that experience and grow from it.
Join us for Thom and Allen's in-person Emotional Sobriety workshop this June 26th at Harmony Hollow in PA! Details to follow.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
...2022-05-0855 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryNavigating Marriage (Part One)“The truth will set you free, but only if you have the courage to live it.”
After a check-in about upcoming workshops and events, Allen digs deep into his own history and chats with Thom about his first marriage, and the touchstones it helped him reach. Next week we'll continue to discuss marriage and relationships in the context of Emotional Sobriety.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
To register for his upcoming INTRApersonal workshop, shoot him a...2022-05-0258 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryShowing Up for OurselvesAllen returns along with therapist Brian Lutz to expand on our chat with Thom last week about recovery and Gestalt therapy. To overcome obstacles in our journey towards greater emotional balance, we need to “name it to tame it” - articulating what those obstacles are to find the proper solution.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s first book, Love Secrets Revealed, referred to in the episode:
ht...2022-04-2547 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryTherapeutic Improv with Brian LutzPsychotherapist, Brian Lutz, joins Thom and Producer Patrick for a discussion about our INTRApersonal worlds. In discussing the ideas behind Brian's and Thom's upcoming workshop, INTRApersonal IMPROV, the two of them share a demonstration of therapeutic improvisation.
Our podcast has been selected as one of the Top 70 Sobriety Podcasts on the web from Feedspot - the internet’s Largest Human Curated Database of Bloggers and Podcasters! Visit here…
https://blog.feedspot.com/sobriety_podcasts/
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
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Email...2022-04-1757 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryConflict Resolution: Taking Emotional Sobriety into TrafficProducer Patrick Newman and Thom Rutledge have a conversation about having conversations --- specifically about having difficult conversations in new improved ways with our recovery experience.
Links from the episode:
Simple Truth: Ideas & Experiences for People from Less than Perfect Families. Thom's first book includes chapter titled "Conversations to Convey." Only available from Thom's office:
https://www.thomrutledge.com/_files/ugd/e71801_85cf03584ede448198af4a84c5dfac7c.pdf
Communication 101 & Couples Dialogue: a handout with communication tips that Thom uses with clients in therapy.
...2022-04-1146 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Forty-Five: Perfectionism is a Destructive Belief SystemFor many of us, defeating our crushing sense of perfectionism is the crux of our struggle towards living a more peaceful, emotionally balanced life. In the course of discussing this, Allen talks about his dear departed friend and colleague Chris. Next week we’ll delve into further practical solutions.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955...2022-03-2846 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Forty-Four: Emotional Sobriety as Philosophy (Part Two)Thom shares further thoughts on psychology and philosophy, which Allen relates to existentialism. All have a useful context in our journey towards greater emotional freedom. Next week, we do a deep dive on perfectionism.
Thom’s essay:
Psychology is the study of how our minds work. Philosophy pans back for a much bigger picture, an expansive view that inspires us to wonder how the whole universe works. Philosophy is often more about developing good questions, not so much so to discover the RIGHT answers, but just questions that are good company, questions that are magnetic in...2022-03-2045 min
The Meaningful Life with Andrew G. MarshallThom Rutledge: Embracing Fear in Four StepsLots of us are afraid of the very word: fear. We’d rather say anxiety, or worry, or panic.
Yet according to Thom Rutledge, fear underlies most difficult emotions, and is a close companion to shame. Fear plays into just about every decision we ever make in our lives.
To defeat fear, according to Thom, is neither possible nor desirable. Instead we need to live beyond its control, and to understand it. Rather than squashing down the voices of panic and dread, we can face up to them, explore them and respond.
In this...2022-03-1455 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Forty-Two: Summarizing “12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety”This week Allen rejoins us to do a final wrap-up of his book, revisiting concepts of differentiation and equating emotional sobriety with emotional freedom.
Follow us on social media!
Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod
Instagram: thomrutledge2
Email Thom: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com
Email Allen: abphd@msn.com
Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Jo...2022-03-0144 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Thirty-Nine: Jefferson Ross and "Southern Currency"Thom and Producer Patrick are joined by Jefferson Ross, artist/singer/songwriter to talk about emotional sobriety. Also includes some stories from the old days as Jefferson and Thom are old friends. We are grateful to have Jefferson's permission to use his music as intro and wrap up for our podcast. If listeners are not familiar with his music, we encourage you to check it out: jeffersonross.com
For Valentines Day, Thom's gift book, “What Love Is” could really come in handy…
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1542697344/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vpp...2022-02-0752 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Thirty-Six: Allen’s Sponsor (Part Two)Concluding our in-depth conversation with Tom M., Allen’s sponsor of 50 years. In this episode he tells some spectacular stories about 12-step calls in Hawaii and spreading the message of recovery to places like Iran. He also describes his first meeting with Allen on a Marine Corps. air base.
Follow our new Twitter handle @EmSobrietyPod
Allen’s new book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
2022-01-1743 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Thirty-Five: Allen’s Sponsor (Part One)The first part of a longer conversation with Tom M., Allen’s sponsor of 50 years. Tom breaks down his journey from addiction towards getting into a place of love and service and becoming an open channel, a winding road that's taken him to Iran and on 12 Step calls in Kailua.
Allen’s new book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thurs...2022-01-1037 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Twenty-Four: Accepting What IsFinding acceptance in ourselves and in the world is an inescapable key to any recovery. Part of it can be refusing to be in an adversarial relationship with ourselves. Acceptance is often born of a paradox: by declaring we won’t accept a situation, we move closer to accepting it. Thom and Allen dig into their own lives and in their work with clients to shed light on this chapter.
Allen’s new book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.c...2021-10-2548 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Twenty-Three: Recognizing the Problems in Our Relationships as OpportunitiesAllen, Thom & Patrick veer away from discussing Dr. Berger's new book into a conversation about how changing the way we look at ourselves in relation to problems is essential to discovering the freedom we seek in personal growth work. Specifically, reframing problems as opportunities for growth is emphasized.
Allen’s new book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night Z...2021-10-1848 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Twenty-Two: "Sober Enough" with Joe. CAllen, Thom and Patrick are joined by fellow podcaster and author Joe C. Everything Joe C. learned about recovery and work came from music. We discuss Joe's concept of "sober enough" as opposed to the culture of perfectionism that does so much more harm than good.
Check out Joe C’s book “Beyond Belief”: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/rebellious-radio
Rebellion Dogs Radio: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/rebellious-radio
Social Media:
https://twitter.com/Rebellion_Dogs
https://www.facebook.com/RebellionDogs/
2021-10-1258 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Twenty-One: Realizing That Nobody Is ComingMore on self support versus environmental support in recovery. How do we hold onto ourselves in relationships? Being present but also independent. Allen, Thom, and Patrick dig into their own relationships to offer insight.
Next week, we've invited Joe C. from the Rebellion Dogs podcast to talk emotional sobriety with us.
Newer listeners are encouraged to also drop into our first podcast, START RIGHT HERE. A bunch of compelling interviews and other goodies that tie into the Emotional Sobriety project.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/start-right-here-conversations-about-what-matters-most/id1525039302
Allen’s ne...2021-10-0242 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryTalking to Our Inner Child (A Rutledge "Nutshell")Conversing with our inner child: What Thom believes it is, and what it isn’t. Patrick relates his firsthand experience doing this work in his own treatment for addiction. Finding the inner child isn’t really the problem. Ultimately what we’re looking for is the adult to take care of the child. As with all recovery matters, we encourage you to take what’s helpful, leave what’s not.
Allen Berger will return with us tomorrow for a full-length episode. Wishing a happy July 4th weekend to our American listeners, and much love to our entire audience.2021-07-0433 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryHow to Separate From Our Inner Saboteurs, Part Two (A Rutledge "Nutshell")Continuing Thom's tutorial from earlier this week, we discuss dissociating from our inner critics and saboteurs.
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below)
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions and comments.
2021-06-2426 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryHow to Separate From Our Inner Saboteurs, Part One (A Rutledge "Nutshell")The first of Thom's brief, tutorial-style "nutshells" demonstrating principles and practices of Emotional Sobriety. This one teaches us how to recognize the critical or condeming voice inside ourselves and deal with it in a way that can help us thrive.
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below)
https://zoom.us/j/330149513
Password: 375986
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions and comments.2021-06-2222 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Six: Learning to Separate From Our Inner SaboteursA conversation between podcast producer Patrick Newman and Thom Rutledge about the beginning steps of working with INTRApersonal Change Process.
Description of INTRApersonal Change Process / PDF Download: https://3f48999b-b083-4400-97b5-96c49b21a0e7.filesusr.com/ugd/e71801_bcea88c1cdd6458caa10058d8b169463.pdf
Thom's book, Embracing Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Fear-Turn-Scares-Greatest/dp/0062517759/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Still Me by Christopher Reeve: https://www.amazon.com/Still-Me-New-Afterword-this/dp/034543241X/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=still+me&qid=1623863441&s=books&sr=1...2021-06-1657 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Four: Taking Things Personally (Part Two)Further exploration into what is meant (and not meant) by not taking things personally, including examples of family of origin interactions that establish life-long patterns of how we perceive our environment.
Everyone in our audience is invited to celebrate the release of Allen’s new book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety. The party will be held over Zoom on June 3, 2021 at 5:30pm PST. You can RSVP at the URL below:
https://4dphd.com/12-essential-insights-for-emotional-sobriety-book-release-party-june-3-2021
Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login infor...2021-05-3143 minEmotional Sobriety: The Next Step in RecoveryEpisode Three: Taking Things Personally (Part One) Allen, Thom, and producer Patrick Newman continue to define Emotional Sobriety for listeners. Today we discuss the value of not taking personally grievances big or small.
We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions and comments.
Everyone in our audience is invited to celebrate the release of Allen’s new book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety. The party will be held over Zoom on June 3, 2021 at 5:30pm PST. You can RSVP at the URL below:
https://4dphd.com/12-essential-insights-for-emotional-sobriety-book-release-party-june-3-2021
Join Allen...2021-05-2453 min
Start Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Thirty-Nine: Taking Care of Unfinished Business (Part Two)Conversation about how we are challenged in the present to attend to unfinished emotional business continues, with both Allen and Thom giving specific examples (personal and professional) of how this work plays out. Producer, Patrick Newman, asks about actually finishing what is unfinished and if there is a time when it is completed, which takes the conversation in the very important direction of understanding that the goal is not to "finish" but to continue to attend to what we become aware of.
The shift in attention is more a matter of process...2021-04-2643 minStart Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Thirty-Five: How Can We Manage Our Flagging Self-Esteem? (Part Two)Allen and Thom deepen their conversation from the previous episode about the actions we can all take to improve our self-esteem, emphasizing that concepts alone change nothing. It is all about putting what we are learning into practice. In the case of self-esteem, we are often limited by the repetition of early familial programming that has become "normal." Once problems are identified, the first step to changing things ironically is to accept what we are discovering.
Reference to Thom's first book, Simple Truth, specifically his therapeutic nutshell, "Each day practice accepting exactly...2021-03-2248 minStart Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Thirty-Two: What Actions Can We Take When Life Doesn't Go Our Way? (Part Two)Allen, Thom and Patrick continue their conversation from last episode, making the point that “anybody can have a good day on a good day,” but it really is how we respond and handle ourselves when things don’t go our way that reveals character. Discussion leads to the idea that integrity, not personal satisfaction or happiness is the emphasis in the pursuit of emotional sobriety. Allen announces that he and Thom, along with co-author, Vince Hyman, are currently writing a book called Emotional Sobriety: One Day at a Time and Allen reads one of Thom&rsquo...2021-02-2255 minStart Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Thirty: How Can We Patch up Relationships Damaged by Political Differences?Dr. Michael McGee returns this week for an episode more focused on our fractured politics - how they’re expressed in our warring political parties, and how they affect our personal relationships. We try to recognize the ways in which our current political moment is damaged and dysfunctional. We acknowledge that finding common ground or “points of agreement” is necessary for conversations across the spectrum to be productive. Before we begin to mend the individual, communal, national and global fractures, we must first begin the discourse in good faith.
Learn more about Thom Rutledge...2021-02-0857 minStart Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Thirty: What Can Four (4) Guys Figure Out About How to Heal a Nation (Or Patch up a Family Relationship Damaged by Political Differences)?Dr. Michael McGee returns this week for an episode more focused on our fractured politics - how they’re expressed in our warring political parties, and how they affect our personal relationships. We try to recognize the ways in which our current political moment is damaged and dysfunctional. We acknowledge that finding common ground or “points of agreement” is necessary for conversations across the spectrum to be productive. Before we begin to mend the individual, communal, national and global fractures, we must first begin the discourse in good faith.
Learn more about Thom Rutledge...2021-02-0857 minStart Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Twenty-Nine: How Can We Bring About a Spiritual Awakening? With Dr. Michael McGee, M.D.Psychiatrist Dr. Michael McGee joins the conversation, talking first about his approach to prescribing medication to his patients. Dr. McGee says that his true passion is for doing psychotherapy but he is clearly extremely knowledgeable about psychotropic medications as well. He calls himself a “reluctant prescriber,” saying that he only prescribes medication when it is truly needed and that often the disturbances brought to therapy can be resolved without medication. Dr. McGee takes us through what he calls his Three (3) A’s of Awareness: Attending, Appreciating, and Acting. Allen, Thom and Dr. McGee share with each...2021-02-011h 05Start Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostSpecial Episode: How To Avoid Messing Up The Holidays!Special Episode: How To Avoid Messing Up The Holidays!
In the spirit of Allen’s 12-counts (12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, 12 Smart Things To Do When the Booze & Drugs are Gone, 12 Hidden Rewards to Making Amends, etc.) and in the spirit of this pandemic-fraught holiday season, Allen presents his list of 12 stupid things to mess up the holidays along with helpful comments from Thom. As with most of their collaborations, even in the fun, there are some more enlightened moments. Thom wraps the episode with his Help for the Holidays, (Don’t Run...2020-12-2249 minStart Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Twenty-Two: What Can Dr. Ericha Scott Teach Us About The Healing Power Of Creativity?Ericha Scott, Ph.D. is Allen’s and Thom’s guest for this episode. Dr. Scott is a Fellow for the International Society of Study of Trauma & Dissociation, a board certified registered art therapist, a registered expressive arts therapy, internationally certified as an advance alcohol and drug counselor and licensed in three states as a psychotherapist. All that and she is a wonderful addition to the Start Right HERE conversation. Dr. Scott offers a fascinating description of Sand Tray Therapy plus many others varieties of expressive arts therapies, along with some very powerful case examples from...2020-12-141h 12Start Right Here: Conversations About What Matters MostEpisode Eighteen: What Does Joe Biden Mean When He Talks About Healing Our Nation?Or...how can we get Uncle Sam into therapy?
The topic we had originally planne for today was how to not take things personally, but Allen and Thom put that aside in light of President-Elect Joe Biden’s and VP-Elect Kamala Harris’s speeches the night before this podcast was recorded. In the spirit of “Conversations about What Matters Most,” the conversation in this podcast is about what this nation’s 46th President and his historic Vice President had to say to us and the world about their plan for leadership...2020-11-1649 min