Shows
the fluffle podcast with Jocelle KohOn being cute, chaotic and critical with Amber AkillaIn the heat of summer I made my way to one of my favourite cities in the world, Shanghai to interview one of my favourite all time podcast hosts and creators, Amber Akilla. DJ, music curator, host of the friend crush podcast, Amber is iconic for her radical perspectives on feminism, culture and her life philosophy of being hot and having fun which has sparked many an interesting discussion on the possibilities for women and queer individuals in today's society. While it was the first time we've met in person, we connected deeply on our roots growing up in...
2025-10-0145 min
The Audaci-TeaBeing Hot & Having Fun w/Amber AkillaIn this week’s episode of The Audaci-Tea Podcast, your hosts Lisa, Sovereign, and Gwen are joined by special guest Amber Akilla! Amber is a DJ, online personality, and unapologetic advocate of living authentically. In this epsiode, Amber shares her philosophy of being hot and having fun, centering confidence, independence, and self-acceptance as tools for empowerment.
But first, in Tea Time, the hosts break down Judge Judy’s advice that women should always have their own money, Ciara adding Russell Wilson’s last name to Future Jr, how men are currently ruining nightlife, and Druski’s viral NASCAR a...
2025-09-151h 44
The Female Dating StrategyBeing Hot and Having Fun With Amber AkillaThe Queens are joined by special guest Amber Akilla to discuss the ins and outs of how to live your best life.
Follow Amber: https://amberakilla.com/
Amber's Instagram: @amberakilla
Amber's Podcast: Friend Crush
Download the FDS Handbook for free here: https://pdfcoffee.com/fds-handbook-v135-pdf-free.html
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/femdatstrat
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Weekly Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheFemaleDatingStrategy
Website: https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com
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@femdatstrat
Instagram: https://www...
2025-05-0754 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akillathings i learnt about friendship in my 20sslive slaugh slove slearn and slay !
let me know your thoughts, feelings and lessons on friendship in the comments!!
1. better to have no friends than bad friends
2. define your inner and outer circle
3. drifting isn’t a bad thing
4. your friends are not your therapist, you are not your friends’ therapist
5. your friends are your cheerleaders
6. you can’t save other people from their bad decisions
7. shared values over shared interests
8. you don’t have to be friends with everyone
9. be wary of those you connect with in a flop era
10. how somone treats you is how they treat everyone...
2025-01-2133 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akillahow to start new habits when your brain is mushsome thoughts and suggestions on habits that worked for me in my darkest most flop hour... lay the foundation for your next slay, today!!!!!!
downloadable / printable trackers here: https://www.friendcrush.club/shop/p/hot-girl-slay-habits-e-bundle
1. 1% rule
2. visualise your brain garden
3. habit replacement
4. gaslight into a slay
5. give yourself a treat
6. rewrite your inner narrative
7. habit tracking
8. vision boarding
9. avoid skipping more than one day in a row
10. set a review date
11. habit stacking
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2025-01-1020 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akillahow to cure your chronically online clownerya list of practices and considerations i have used for digital distancing and to manage a healthier relationship with the internet and social media. its really use or be used, so make sure you set boundaries and protect your peace!!!
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2025-01-1033 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla30 things i learnt before 30 pt.2part two of my 30 things i realised before 30!!!
let me know what you thought of this video and if you have any specific topic requests~~
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notes:
16. you’ll rarely regret sitting on a purchase, but you’ll probably regret impulse buying
17. when in doubt, always play the long game - conflict
1...
2025-01-1041 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla30 things i learnt before 30 pt.1sliving my slife ☆
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1. an authentic life is better than a conventional one
2. embrace your curiosity and your interests
3. the four agreements
4. learn about psychology before getting into political debates
5. learn to emotionally regulate
6. embrace the light and dark - after every flop comes a slay
7. disagreement is ok, dismissal is not
8...
2025-01-1042 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla88 - emotional accountability & relationship roadblocksPRE-ORDER MERCH BEFORE JULY 17
https://www.friendcrush.club/
WELCOME TO SEASON SIX OF FRIEND CRUSHHHHH WOOO
Join us as we delve into the transformative concept of emotional accountability/responsibility. Ever experienced a moment where a term perfectly encapsulates a significant aspect of your life? That's precisely how I felt when I began reflecting on emotional accountability. It goes beyond mere empathy; it's about recognising the role each of us plays in our own emotional experiences without expecting others to bear our burdens in unhealthy ways, you know wh...
2024-06-2553 min
Friend Crush with Amber AkillaLove Lust & Loathing ~ DJ mix + Q&A (Valentine's Day 2024)happy valentine's day bbs!
here is a special DJ mix and Q&A episode of Friend Crush with Amber Akilla.
i've pulled questions from various Tiktok lives and answered them in between tracks that embody the 'love, lust & loathing' theme.
i had so much fun making this, i hope you enjoy!!!
previous mixes are on soundcloud~
https://on.soundcloud.com/uCwPM
soundcloud upload~
https://on.soundcloud.com/DMYKx
lana del rey...
2024-02-151h 04
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla87 - 30 and no friends :( dealing w lonelinessspecial treat for friend crush listeners ~ i've received a few messages like this one so i felt the wheels turning in my brain and generated this response. i definitely missed out a few things but i hope that this provides helpful perspective for anyone that relates to the situation described.
if you have a personal question you can send it to the @friend.crush IG page and it can be chosen to be answered in voice memo format. if you want a personalised answer via text please use this link https://direct.me/l/67j6...
2024-01-2927 min
LOVE ISLAND RadioAmber Akilla | LOVE ISLAND MIX #16@LuckyTrip本期艺术家：Amber Akilla录制日期：2024-01-13“舞池炼金术士” Amber Akilla以其多样化的音乐品味备受追捧。她混合并酿造音乐药剂，从而创造并激发她所进入的 每一个空间。 她从不受任何音乐流派的约束，在Breaks、Techno、House、 Hip-Hop、K-Pop 以及 Pop 中进行混合，重要的是，她通过一个又一个独特且 难忘的声音体验，带领观众体验到音乐所赋予的流动能量。她曾为国际知名音乐人热场，包括A$AP MOB, Rae Sremmurd, Desiigner, MØ, Aluna George, Brodinski, Mykki Blanco, Tokimonsta 和Venus X。她曾在东京，首尔，曼谷，吉隆坡和香港等亚洲大陆各地演出。她独特的风格和品味使她在艺术和时尚活动中为包括Hermès, Chanel, Gucci, Saint Laurent, Burberry, Nike 和 Takashi Murakami在内的知名人物制作音乐。LOVE ISLAND（爱之岛）是SILK和三里屯Lucky Trip咖啡在每周末下午合作的音乐分享活动，传递都市漫步舒适午后的概念，在咖啡店小憩之余也能听到动听音乐；我们将下午活动搬到线上，在Love Island电台你能听到每周演出艺术家的私藏音乐，也是您在繁忙工作之余的舒适庇护所。
2024-01-1756 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla86 - situationshipsthis episode might be triggering for anyone that's convinced themselves that they like being in a situationship so listen at your own risk :)
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2023-12-1233 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla85 - jealousy is a disease - envy & jealousyjealousyyyy is a disease fr - its a human experience, but one that when unmanaged can create more harm than good, mostly to yourself!!! how can we better understand and differentiate jealousy and envy we experience towards others and also when its directed towards us?
articles referenced:
https://kazmobrain.com/jealousy-definition-causes-treatment/
https://www.dictionary.com/e/jealousy-vs-envy/
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2023-11-2146 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla84 - "high value women", growth & why people cheatanswering a listener message i received recently that prompted me to reflect on what it means to be a "high value woman" and my thoughts on this conversation that's been happening online, growth, trauma, grief and why people cheat.
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2023-11-1438 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla83 - quarter life crisisi've done an episode on this before but i feel like its recently come up a lot in conversations with people in their early-mid 20s. my quarter life crisis was so intense but i feel like i've come out the other end better than i entered it so hopefully this gives you something to look forward to if you're going through this rn!! you are not alone
2023-11-0731 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla82 - non negotiable hobbyi think one of the best ways to develop healthier boundaries is to find activities that you care about that feel beneficial to you (keep you hot and having fun) and allow you to orient your schedule around them. it can't just be work because that's not always just for you, it needs to be a hobby! the dedication to investing time and or money to connecting with yourself is not only beneficial for you but also for how you show up in your relationships. on top of that it also provides an easy filter to see whether others...
2023-10-3117 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla81 - what do you have to offer?we previously talked about 'what do you get out of it' and recently i've been thinking about 'what do you have to offer' two sides of the same coin kinda. when we better understand who we are and what we contribute to relationships and situations, coupled with an awareness of how we want to live (hot & having fun philosophy), this also assists in how we can make more intentional decisions, better understand and assert boundaries and distance ourselves from connections and experiences that we're not compatible with.
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2023-10-1035 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla80 - negative self talkself-deprecation can seem harmless at times but i feel like when taken to far it can really get in the way of your ability to grow and expand how you see yourself. wild the ways that we can be our own worst enemy! in this episode i discuss how i've come to better understand how to manage self-deprecation in ways that aren't self-destructive.
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2023-10-0331 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla79 - and what do you get out of it?so often in life and in love we are bamboozled by other people's validation and desire and forget to ask 'what am i getting out of this', 'how do i feel' ?? this doesn't mean we have to be entirely self-serving but it also doesn't mean we have to be entirely self-sacrificial. i implore you to take a pause and consider this if you find yourself in a mental or emotional spiral over a person or situation. oftentimes we need to recognise the ways we have allowed for clownery in order to be hot and have fun!!!
2023-09-2621 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla78 - resigning as the friend group therapisti think its quite common for listeners of the podcast to be the 'friend group therapist' - the person that everyone goes to for advice when they're going through it. its not that you need to swing to the opposite end of the spectrum and cut people off at the slightest request for your attention but sometimes we need to consider the capacity to which you plug into other people's problems. i feel like i could talk about this topic forever but, here's a start! let me know what you think hehe
2023-09-1915 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla77 - offence vs disrespecti've been thinking about the subtle difference between being offended and being disrespected - maybe in a general sense the difference doesn't matter to that many people but i think having an understanding for myself has allowed me to determine what is worth my energy, who is worth my time and what opportunities being offended or disrespected can actually provide in having more self-awareness. in other words - don't let haters stop you from being hot and having fun hehe
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2023-09-1231 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla76 - girl confessions: hinge, single friends, age gaps, dating as a WoCGIRL CONFESSIONSSS this episode was so fun to record, "Sarah" and I have been internet friends for some time now and we barely scratched the surface in this conversation. we cover her experiences on hinge, one of her icks, age gaps in dating, who is expected to pay on the first date, friends to lovers, growing up and dating as a woman of colour in australia and more!!! i hope you enjoyed this episode, let me know what you thought and if you want more episodes with Sarah and/or more girl confessions epsiodes in general !!!
2023-09-051h 52
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla75 - boy confessions: freshly 30, "the spark", dating expectationsour first boy confessions episode for the season!! 'christopher' just turned 30 and is currently taking some time off from his tech job to rest and reflect. we discuss his dating expectations, how his views on dating and relationships have changed, whether "the spark" is a real thing, dating as a scapegoat from big life changes... and more, i hope you enjoy! let me know what you thought of this episode!
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2023-08-291h 30
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla74 - wtf is a boundarymy current thoughts, feelings and understandings around boundaries, how they differ from standards, expectations, preferences and conditions. 'boundaries' is a term that is thrown around the same way 'authentic' is but just because people throw a word around doesn't really mean they understand, let alone practice what they preach hehe
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2023-08-2236 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla73 - what are you doing with your life???you know i feel like so much of my 20s has been about 'what' am i doing with my life, but in the last few years i've focused more on 'how' i am experiencing life, 'am i enjoying myself?' aka am i being hot and having fun and if not, how does a life well lived feel and look like to me and how can i take intentional action towards it? how can i balance portfolio interests with personal interests at different stages and eras rather than thinking that personal fulfilment is dependent on portfolio and professional success?
2023-08-1525 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla72 - why people don't changetale as old as time... you know "what's best" for someone and for some reason they're not doing what needs to be done to be better???? WHYYYYYYY
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2023-08-0845 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla71 - SEASON FIVE !!! one year back in shanghai !!!welcome welcome back to friend crush!!! can't believe its season five!
i started this podcast during the pandemic as a creative outlet after having my original plans for 2020 cancelled, it became a way for me to process and organise my thoughts in the most cute, chaotic and critical way that i can manage.
i made it back to shanghai last year and released season four after a few months of being back. its been almost a year since i've been back and i'm so excited to be sharing the next season with you!
2023-08-0137 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla70 - what about career switches? season 4 wrap!wow i can’t believe we’re up to the 70th episode of friend crush!!! thank you so much for tuning in, sending your feedback, sending questions and topic suggestions and sharing with your friends! i’m actually so shook and can’t that you enough! we’re going to go on a lil breaky break over the northern hemisphere summer so i can focus on other projects and prepare for the next season. wishing everyone a slay time in the meantime!!!
this week’s episode i also answer a listener question about transitioning career at ag...
2023-05-0234 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla69 - healing a broken heart vs a bruised egothere's a difference between a broken heart and a bruised ego when it comes to breakups - friendship, work, romantic or otherwise. how we process and move on from different ailments requires different treatments!
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2023-04-2539 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla68 - SURVIVING NO CONTACTthey broke your trust? you DO NOT break no contact. STAND UP!
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SUBSCRIBE N COMMENT ON YOUTUBE PLS xoxo
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2023-04-1842 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla67 - long distance relationshipswhat are my thoughts on long distance relationships? is it worth the mental, emotional and financial investment? i discuss using my personal experience with long distance relationships and also reflect on where i'm at now when it comes to what i would want from a romantic commitment.
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let me know what you thought of this episode and don't forget you can also watch, like, comment and subscribe to friend crush on youtube!
https...
2023-04-1123 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla66 - q&a - creating new habits, living at home vs full time workthis week's episode i attempted to answer multiple questions but only managed to answer two lol
first we discuss how to start developing discipline and creating habits, how i personally managed to start being more consistent with grounding practices.
secondly we talk about whether there is a binary choice between living with family and saving money or moving out and working full time. i also want to add to this section that working full time while living at home and being able to save money is a privilege in this economy and it's not something...
2023-04-0451 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla65 - girl boss vs lover girl: wanting romantic connectiontoo often we're made to feel like love and career are incompatible but i think that's an illusion. love can come from so many sources not just romance and different chapters and relationships in your life will facilitate different kinds of love and fulfilment. there's more to life than settling down, there's more to live for than romantic love and your journey will be unique to you! stay hot and having fun!!!
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2023-03-2829 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla64 - what to do when your friend has become radicalized by the internet...exploring an actually quite complex topic in today’s episode which i will continue to turn over in my mind. what do you do when your political values with a friend start to diverge into almost incompatible territories? on the one hand i think that its important to detach from the direction relationships can take and do your best to have empathy for others, while i also recognize that certain political views can be especially harmful to society when they go unchecked, then on top of that - to what degree are we responsible and can we control what id...
2023-03-2132 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla63 - betrayal trauma, sinophobia, working collaboratively, creative vs corporatelook, i go on a few tangents in this one but we're discussing betrayal trauma, sinophobia and then answering a question from a listener about how to manage expectations when working on personal creative projects versus client/ commercial projects. let me know what you thought of this episode!!!
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2023-03-1443 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla62 - normalize having no f**king ideayou know what... its ok to not have the answer sometimes!!! quick thoughts on being patient with yourself, managing anxiety and letting time to pass so that things can fall into place. believe that what you want is already yours! if you're taking action and doing your best, trust that there are forces beyond your comprehension that will bring you in contact with people and opportunities that can make it happen. easier said than done of course, but worth a reminder every now and then.
ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk f...
2023-03-0716 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla61 - q&a - finding yourself after a breakup, virtual romancesharing my thoughts and reflections on messages i've received about how to navigate the post-break up period and virtual/digital relationships that don't eventuate with in-person meetings. with some expected tangents and rambles hehe
ask me a question~ receive a written pep talk from me!
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2023-02-2841 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla60 - de-influencing & intentional consumptionsharing my thoughts on "de-influencing" which i refer to as "mindful consumption" ~ if you've listened to previous episodes of the podcast on skincare and self-care, i've always found that knowing i can do something that's good for me at a low cost is weirdly empowering in this capitalist hellscape that we live in lol not that i think making or spending money is "bad" but i think there's a balance to be struck with everything and more empowering/sustainable perspectives to have when it comes to anything, especially our consumption. you don't need to pressure yourself to be perfect...
2023-02-2125 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla59 - how to live with your own clowneryhello angels!! i'm sharing my thoughts around video titles and subjects where people think they've wasted their life. although i understand the sentiment of these videos i think that sometimes they can be disempowering and there are other ways we can frame and understand our experience of life! sliving requires slearning - some lessons take us longer to learn than others and although there is a time and place to be competitive, its not a competition with others, its a journey and a story that we are writing for ourselves and hopefully with the people we love and care...
2023-02-1432 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla58 - how to recover from people pleasing (youtube ep)let's talk about how i've changed my understanding of people pleasing and what it means as well as how you building awareness around how you are treated vs how you want to be treated is important in taking action to living a slay life!!!
also i'm going to continue to try and update audio podcast bc i don't want to gatekeep and i don't want ppl to drive and get distracted with video!!! takes forever to upload video podcasts so i'll just upload audio versions and then you have option of videos on youtube t...
2023-02-0143 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla57 - do exes always come back and does it matter? (youtube ep)let's talk about HEART BREAKKKK and the period between a break up and actually moving on - does your ex come back? does it matter if they do? sharing my own thoughts and feelings along with some comments i received on tiktok videos i've made on this topic.
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i said i wouldn't update podcast audio but ppl have said they still like listening on audio platforms so i'll try my best to update here too xx
as...
2023-01-251h 10
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla56 - q&a - dating someone who is friends w their ex, incels, law schoolwelcome backkkkk - a lil q&a for y'all ! maybe i do this once a month?? let me know what you think !
ask me a question~receive a written pep talk from me! https://direct.me/l/67j6
the podcast is moving to video format!! make sure to subscribe *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
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2023-01-1740 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla55 - how to ask people out (youtube ep)ranting about gaps in communication hehehe sometimes i think we overlook how important it is to become aware of the ways we share our reality and how we connect with others and build relationships. i discuss a framework/formula that i think helps to structure communication for any relationship context - friendship, romance, work - and then go on a bunch of tangents as usual. maybe social media has us living in our heads and creates the illusion that people are privy to what's going on in our noggin... when they don't lmk what u think !
...
2022-12-2922 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla54 - boy confessions - "the game", people pleasing in men, authenticity in dating, ghosting & rejectionwelcome to the second boy confessions episode!!! this episode provides a perspective that is so different to the previous episode, i hope you enjoy! "Ash" is in his early mid-30s living in LA - we cover his thoughts on the notorious pick up artist bible "The Game", authenticity in dating, dating apps, how his first love has affected his expectations in dating, how he has become aware of his people pleasing tendencies, understanding communication issues in relationships, deciding what kind of commitment - if at all he is looking for. SO MANY THINGS!! let me know what you...
2022-11-291h 59
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla53 - w nadine milad - ghosting, people pleasing, friend break-upsi loved this conversation i had with actress, writer and content creator Nadine Milad - grab a snack and get comfy because we cover soo much in this episode from ghosting, authenticity online, friend break-ups, being recovering people pleasers and so much more.
let me know what you thought of this episode and if Nadine and I should do more episodes together!
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
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2022-11-221h 55
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla52 - pre 30 panic, quarter life crisis pt.2 listener submissionspart two of the quarter life crisis discussion ~ i read some submissions from listeners on the topic and provide my perspective and thoughts. i actually think in the months since recording these episodes i care even less about age and more about being hot and having fun!!! it's natural to feel external pressures on the timeline of your life, but your life is for you to define! would love to hear your thoughts on this topic please feel free to write to meeee! xx
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe...
2022-11-1545 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla51 - quarter life crisis, pre-30 panic pt.1 self esteempart one in a series of episodes where i discuss the quarter life crisis and pre-30 panic. i’ve thought about this a lot as i get to the tail end of my 20s so i’m sharing my thoughts here with you!
books mentioned:
six pillars of self esteem https://amzn.to/3xAzl3r
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
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2022-11-0835 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla50 - expectations, standards & the bare minimumkeep your expectations low, your standards high.... & don't feel like you need to reward the bare minimum!!!
slightly modifying a saying that i've carried with me through the years. how could i have held myself back like this!!?? anyways, we slive and slearn and level tf up.
books mentioned
six pillars of self esteem https://amzn.to/3xAzl3r
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
follow me ☆
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2022-11-0141 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla49 - boy confessions: "timothee" on cheating, 5 years single, new commitments & moreso excited to share the first boy confessions episode!!! anonymously interviewing men so they can share honest reflections, opinions and experiences on masculinity, life, love, friendship, work and more.
“Timothee” - 33 is Asian-American, born and raised in Los Angeles and currently living in Shanghai working as a creative director for an international brand. in this episode we discuss the influence of women on his life, being single for five years before his current relationship as well as his advice for men and women on what to do when a guy withdraws from a relationship or connection. i ask h...
2022-10-251h 16
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla48 - friends with benefits & bootycallswhat's the difference between a friend with benefits and a booty call? is it worth risking a friendship? do they even make sense??? lets discuss lol
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
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music & mixes ☼
soundcloud.com
...
2022-10-1832 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla47 - adult friendshipsdiscussing the ways my understanding of friendship has changed as i've gotten older. what's the difference between an inner and outer circle? how to allow space in relationships rather than taking incompatibilities personally and how to deal with friend breakups.
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
follow me ☆
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twitt...
2022-10-1156 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla46 - self-confidence & overcoming cringeevery now and then i post something random/unhinged and someone asks me 'how do you get over being cringe?' HAHAH anyways here are some of my thoughts and reflections on how i process my insecurities and try to develop a stronger sense of self. how awareness of our insecurities can be seen as a blessing, grounding practices, exposure therapy, holding space for our contradictions and why cringing at your former self is important for self growth! there's still so much to say but i hope that this helps provide perspective!
i'm gonna...
2022-10-0447 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla45 - q&a pt2 - boundaries, friends with your ex, books, pop culture, goalsthank you for asking questions! this is part two of my answers ~
in this episode we cover:
how much of yourself to give in dating, people pleasing
being friends with an ex that hasn’t told their new partner about you
what i’ve learnt this summer
books i’ve read
the road less travelled https://amzn.to/3UibDCS
six pillars of self esteem https://amzn.to/3xAzl3r
mind f*ck https://amzn.to/3LpOSsD
stolen focus https://amzn.to/3eYsHxs
what do i think about pop cultur...
2022-09-2756 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla44 - q&a pt1 - expectations, future faking, dating after a first lovebonus episode to celebrate the first week of friend crush season four!
answering questions that were submitted to me in the last few weeks.
in this episode we cover how to discern between your thoughts and beliefs, how to discern between what you need and what you think you need against other people's expectations, dating after a first love and what to do when you realise someone you were into was future faking.
episodes mentioned: 32 - training for a breakup
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure...
2022-09-2036 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla43 - season four!! hi from shanghai!!! update/vibe checkhello my sweet angels!!! i'm so happy to be back for season four of friend crush!!!
the last few months have been such a wild ride and this episode is a life update/vibe check
~ sliving, sloving, slaughing and slearning ~
thank you so much for your patience, encouragement and support!
lots of love xoxoxox
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
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2022-09-2030 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla42 - vibe check/ q&a - confrontation, friends & toxic exes, parental approvalthank you for supporting friend crush so far! i’m eternally grateful!! answering some questions asked on IG in honor of this final episode for the season. i talk about how to recognize your own toxicity, what to do when you don’t approve of a friend’s relationship, what to do when your parents don’t approve of your decisions, how to deal with confrontation and more!
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
if you’ve gotten anything out of friend crush you...
2022-04-1246 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla41 - therapysharing my personal experiences with therapy and the approach i’ve taken. not diagnostic by any means but hopefully this can assist you in your own approach or journey!
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
https://amzn.to/3D7Dmgx
The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck
https://amzn.to/3DbJdkU
How To Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera
https://www.amazon.com/How-Do-Work-Recognize-Patterns/dp/006301209X
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to...
2022-04-0536 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla40 - w kicki yang zhang - art and influencingkicki is a chinese born artist and influencer based in berlin. we talk about her experience growing up in germany, working as an artist and influencer, how her creative hobbies have become her career, how she balances creativity with client needs and how she met her boyfriend ♡
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
follow kicki ✧
https://www.instagram.com/kickiyangz/
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2022-03-2955 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla39 - vibe check / q&a - breakups, boundaries, hinge replies, digital restraining ordersfirst episode in what i hope can be a lil sub-series! sharing bite-sized thoughts and reflections on breakups, boundaries, i give advice for a question regarding replying on hinge and my newly coined term - the digital restraining order.
please leave a question, comment or voice message for me to share in future episodes! they don’t have to be directly related to this episode and will be referred to anonymously.
episodes referenced:
32 - training for a breakup
23 - not having standards is bad for society
38...
2022-03-2244 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla38 - w/ derrick gee - advice for creatives, 10 year marriage & tiktokplease welcome the first male guest on friend crush! derrick gee is a multi-talented and faceted creative director, artist manager and radio host amongst many other things. in this episode we talk about his journey to where he is today, his work experience as a former NTS radio host and head of brand partnerships at Mixcloud, advice for creatives and artists, his recent foray into tiktok and his relationship with his partner of 10 years!
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
follow derri...
2022-03-151h 13
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla37 - skincarediscussing how my approach to skincare has changed - kind of like a metaphor to how my approach to life and things have changed too!
i start with what it was like when i had 'problematic' skin, non-product related changes that i keep in mind and my general mindset to skincare now and what i've done to improve my skin in the last few years.
a reminder that your self-worth and value is not determined by whether you have "good" skin or not!!! your skin is the biggest organ in your body so its worth...
2022-03-0848 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla36 - breadcrumbing and orbitingbreadcrumbing and orbiting are being discussed more and more in the context of modern dating and are likened to behaviors like ghosting. what do these behaviours entail and how can we become more aware of what we’re allowing or participating in and whether its inline with what we want from relationships of any kind, not just romantic ones!
articles mentioned:
https://www.brides.com/what-is-breadcrumbing-5105353
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a23070110/orbiting-after-breakup-dating-trend
book:
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
https://amzn.to/3D7Dm...
2022-03-0151 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla35 - you are hot and having fun !!!sharing my current life mantra/philosophy that i use to ground myself during chaotic moments for you to see whether its something you want to adopt or can help you to figure out what might work for you!
i'm gonna be on youtube moreeee make sure to subscribe please *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ https://www.youtube.com/@amberakilla
follow me ☆
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2022-02-2248 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla34 - random thoughts on healinghealing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear healing is not linear
follow me ☆
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music...
2022-02-1536 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla33 - hookup culturean introductory exploration into the history of hookup culture... is it as fun and empowering as we're made to think it is? everyone is different but there are some general trends that studies suggest, let's discuss and explore~
hook up culture wiki
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookup_culture
ana psychology
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIh8LqU7s-o
gatekeeping in casual entanglements
https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla/video/7040327202994539777?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id6914680433222862337
2022-02-0847 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla32 - training for a breakupbreakups are fucked but i think they create opportunities for us to learn more about ourselves and develop resilience if we choose to see them this way. in this episode i outline 12 different things i try to keep in mind when it comes to break-ups and any major transition periods in my life. i think the key is remembering that appreciating what’s “good”, requires experience of what’s “bad”. an incompatibility with a person or situation doesn’t determine your inherent value and what you can do to re-connect with yourself when you feel overwhelmed.
i'm gonn...
2022-02-011h 11
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla31 - west elm caleb & dating appswhat do we think about the west elm caleb tiktok drama? i care less about the individuals involved and more about the ‘cultural implications’ and discourse surrounding it. if you need context, give it a quick google but i’m sharing my thoughts in this week’s episode!
GQ article
https://www.gq.com/story/who-is-west-elm-caleb
twitter thread mentioned
https://twitter.com/mattruby/status/1484583381073600513
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...
2022-01-2538 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla30 - any benefit mindsethow can we make sure that we are streamlining our approach to social media, friendships, romance and even our wardrobe so that we can prioritise quality over quantity? i read Cal Newport’s book “Deep Work” in an attempt to learn how to better manage my time but the ‘any benefit mindset’ (also referred to as the 'any benefit principle' in this episode) that he critiques in relation to our approach to social media resonated with me and felt applicable to other areas of life.
Deep Work by Cal Newport
https://amzn.to/32fjrz4
2022-01-1831 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla29 - it's just a little crush!!!where is the fun in romance? did it catch covid and pass away???
thinking about crushes, how people’s limits differ and how do the traditional values we were raised with indirectly affect the way we approach romance.
apologies for the background noise in some sections of this episode!!
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2022-01-1124 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla28 - digital distancingwhat’s your relationship with technology like? after noticing my own struggle to stay focused i’ve been trying to find different ways to maintain a sense of mental peace amongst information overload. how does social media impact the brain and what can we do to ensure that we can enjoy the benefits of social media while managing the downsides.
Huberman Lab Podcast - Controlling Your Dopamine for Motivation, Focus & Satisfaction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmOF0crdyRU
The Dangers of Porn Addiction
https://www.youtube.com/watc...
2022-01-0441 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla27 - 2021 thoughts & feelingsa lil reflection on things i've learned over the last year, building off from the 2020 realizing things episode~
i talk about how ritual and new habits have helped me stay grounded (which i can't stop talking about), my experience with therapy and how i'm constantly reckoning with the fact that healing is not linear.
wishing everyone a safe and blessed holiday season!!! thank you for your support this year and i hope we can grow the friend crush community more in 2022 ily♡
Atomic Habits by James Clear
https://amz...
2021-12-2848 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla26 - if they wanted to they would?i keep seeing people talk about this but i feel like there’s something missing from this idea… how can we shift our perspective so that we can move on from disappointment and manage our expectations?
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music & mixes ☼
https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla
https://open.spotify.com/user/grmwpz7ats6kei786pbgqujat?si=35f8421e44ba49eb
2021-12-2133 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla25 - superficial vs spiritual self-carewhat's the difference between your hardware and software and how can you make sure both are being looked after? sharing my thoughts on different self-care practices, perspectives and approaches that have allowed for me to have a more holistic approach to well-being that address both body and mind.
disclaimer: i am not a health professional by any means, this is based on my personal experience. if you have any serious mental or physical health issues please ensure that you seek professional guidance and advice.
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel B...
2021-12-1435 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla24 - micro-cheatingwhere do we place micro-cheating on the spectrum of infidelity? how has technology impacted the different ways that we can betray our partners? is there a single definition of micro-cheating or does it depend on the individual?
i look at what dating experts have to say and share your thoughts and perspectives!
articles mentioned:
https://www.huffpost.com/archive/au/entry/micro-cheating-what-is-it-and-does-it-count_a_23077600
https://thelatch.com.au/what-is-micro-cheating/
https://leaderchat.org/2019/02/01/the-importance-of-self-awareness-with-tasha-eurich/
thoughts from:
https://www.instagram.com/viktoriafox/
i'm...
2021-12-0738 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla23 - not having standards is bad for societywhat are the ways that we are being told to settle at our own expense? what does it really mean to have personal standards and boundaries and how can we define this for ourselves? sometimes i think when Ghandi said “be the change you wish to see in the world” this is what he meant!!!
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2021-11-3040 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla22 - being hot is not the same as being respectedhow does our relationship with the pursuit of physical beauty and “hotness” affect how we see ourselves and each other? i’ve always felt we are told that out problems are solved and that empowerment comes from being considered desirable, but is this really the case?
TW// assault, body image, eating disorders
content mentioned:
Ways of Seeing by John Berger
book link: https://amzn.to/3qhVzEr *
video link: https://youtu.be/m1GI8mNU5Sg
The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women by Naomi...
2021-11-2335 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla21 - what’s good vs what’s best for youwhat does it really mean to be a “good” person and why do we struggle so much with being the villain in someone else’s story? what happens when we're not aware that we might only be motivated by a desire appear good and not to do good?
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2021-11-1625 min
The Oh Collective | Just Like You4. #JustLikeYou with Amber Akilla on Fetishizations, s3x , and setting boundaries✨ #JustLikeYou is a weekly episode where we interview all types of different third culture kids who are #JustLikeYou on sex, intimacy, and on how to navigate life.
🦋 This week we had a little chat with Amber Akilla. Amber is a Chinese-Australian multi-disciplinary creative. She is best known as a DJ and has done work as a creative producer and consultant working with brands like Nike, Adidas, and more. In 2018, she co-founded NVSHU, Chinese for "Women's Skill". The project began as women and LGBTQ+-focused DJ workshop and evolved into connecting creatives across different disciplines. Through her personal project and podca...
2021-11-011h 00
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla20 - everything is connected 😌✨pt 1: authenticityhow many topics can i touch on in 20 minutes? hehe
one of the most empowering and overwhelming realizations for me in the last few years is understanding how different parts of life and experience inform each other and how important it is to work on self-alignment and healing first instead of bypassing or running away from yourself. here's a re-intro into how i try and understand these parts so we can discuss further in later episodes!
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2021-07-2824 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla19 - grounding exercises to keep the crazy at bayput those late capitalist marketing messages aside and get back to basics!
things i do to manage my mental, physical and spiritual health so i can feel grounded and centred ✨
journaling, habit tracking, sleep, digital hygiene, exercise and meditation.
Atomic Habits
https://amzn.to/3BnTwSr *
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
https://amzn.to/3BnTwSr *
*affiliate links
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...
2021-07-2042 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla18 - random thoughts & realizations ~ truth vs opinion, authenticitythings i've been thinking about after a year of being back in my hometown!! understanding and awareness around self-empowerment, how important awareness is and the perspective that time and distance can offer for healing.
let me know what you wanna talk about next i'm restless hehe
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o...
2021-07-1539 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla17 - reading is cool!!!!!!hello my sweet angels, in this episode i talk about why i think reading (books) is very nice and very cool and a great way to counter-balance the negative effects of social media! plus random rambles etc etc you know how it is.
https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-reading-books#takeaway
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Power_of_the_Powerless
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2021-06-0336 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla16 - how to create awareness of and unlearn internalized racismtoday’s episode is a follow up from the last on racism, here we’re focused on internalized racism and unlearning internalized racism. i share a bunch of answers i received on instagram and add some comments and thoughts of my own. i hope we can all continue to build awareness within ourselves around these issues and share what we learn with those around us.
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2021-05-1941 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla15 - are your friends kinda racist?sooo i asked a bunch of questions on my instagram @amberakilla regarding race and talking to your friends about race, unlearning racism, internalized racism. this episode discusses people’s responses to people around them unlearning racism and how they handle these conversations with some of my personal experience and suggestions in drawing boundaries. as we become more aware about social issues, what kind of people do we want around us and how do we navigate relationships with this knowledge.
next episode will focus on internalized racism!
let me know any thoughts or questions!!!
Vi...
2021-04-2923 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla14 - the stages of realizing things ~ feminism & identitythis episode is an overview of my journey with feminism and identity so far. these issues are so complex and unique to everyone but i feel like sharing and listening to different perspectives can be helpful when trying to develop our own understanding. i'm focusing more on stages of development more than context or content here in order to demonstrate how its important to embrace learning and discovering new things about yourself and the world around you. i think we need to be giving people more room to change and develop their ideas instead of vilifying them when they...
2021-03-2534 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla13 - 20 things i learnt in 2020 #realizingthingswishing everyone a happy new year! the best is truly yet to come after a year like 2020. i have been lucky enough to spend a lot of time reflecting and realizing things ~ here's a summary of some of what has stuck from chaos to confidence. please let me know if you've had similar or different reflections!
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2021-01-0153 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla12 - getting off the grami reflect on taking a month and a bit off of instagram, what prompted me to do it, did i learn anything and should you do it too?
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shop merch
2020-12-2924 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla11 - what can we learn from friend break ups?hello my loves! in today's episode i will give some final thoughts on friend break ups and what i've learnt.
no doubt i will think about this topic at a later date or go through some shit and have new perspectives or insights but for now, this is the vibe! how can we reflect on our experiences so we can move through the world with a little more wisdom?
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...
2020-12-2127 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla10 - confronting vs ghosting & can you get back together?? (friend breakups pt2 )finally i got my sh*t together and am following up the first part of our friend breakup series!! in this episode i'll be exploring whether we confront or ghost people, why we might stay in an unhealthy friendship longer than we need to, whether its possible to make up after a breakup and moreeee.
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2020-12-0341 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla9 - is love a neurochemical con job??? understanding & practicing loveHELLO FRIENDS
sorry for falling off, i was thinking very intensely about how to follow up the previous episode on friend break ups but then i started re-realizing things about love which is such an important part of friendship that i felt should be covered! so here we are - what is the difference between practicing love and cathexis, the feeling of love and falling in love? lemme know what the vibe is ~
books mentioned
The Road Less Travelled by M Scott Peck
https://amzn.to/3EZCY48 *
2020-11-2330 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla8 - friend break ups & why we CUT TIES!!!this episode is part one of two or three on friendship breakups, why do we break up? what's changed in a friendship that might lead to separation?
i'll draw from my own experience and observations and refer to submissions.
let me know your thoughts and feelings in the comments~
Video Episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUjI2TWwnUQ&feature=youtu.be
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2020-10-2129 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla7 - Elle @14strk on balancing her irl and url selftoday's episode features miss Elle from Sydney. she's a fashion influencer, stylist and all round creative. we discuss growing up in australia, her online journey and how sh'e found success on the internet!
Follow Elle:
https://instagram.com/14strk
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网易云音乐
2020-10-1546 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla6 - making friends and finding your peoplesgiving a run down on how friendships have changed for me in different stages of my life, how i've developed more clarity in what i'm looking for in friendship and referring to comments that were sent in. hopefully my experience gives you some insight and helps you to reflect on your own journey ~ stay tuned for the episode on friendship breakups.
follow me ☆
instagram.com/amberakilla
小红书 @amberakilla
youtube.com/@amberakilla
patreon.com/amberakilla
instagram.com/friend.crush
www.tiktok.com
twitter...
2020-10-1344 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla5 - yasmin suteja on identity and working in the australian creative industryhi friends! today's guest is Yasmin Suteja! she's a photographer, influencer and founder of Culture Machine a creative agency, modeling agency and studio based in Sydney, Australia. we talk about her personal and professional journey in the Australian creative industry, coming to terms with identifying as PoC and what Yasmin has learned along the way.
Follow Yasmin:
https://instagram.com/yasminsuteja/
https://www.instagram.com/culturemachine/
https://www.instagram.com/culturemachineagency/
https://www.instagram.com/culturemachinestudios/
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...
2020-10-091h 01
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla4 - control, crisis, consciousness & characterhello sweet angels! in this episode i’m just sharing my thoughts on concepts i’ve been aware of and reflecting on in the abstract but have really come into the front of the brain this year: control, crisis, consciousness and character~ who am i, who do i want to be and am i acting accordingly? join me on this thought dump!!!
follow me ☆
https://instagram.com/amberakilla/
https://instagram.com/friend.crush/
https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla
https://twitter.com/amberakilla
music & mixes ☼
https://soundclo...
2020-09-3030 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla3 - body image: accepting and loving your skin suitwowee this episode is a long one ~ mostly covering my own journey with 'body image' and how i now have a much more holistic approach to mental and physical health and how that in turn affects my physical appearance. i answer some questions i received and we have two new segments! 'obsession of the week' and 'content crush' stay tuned until the end of the episode for to hear about them! the more i think about this topic, the more complicated it becomes so i hope this episode provided a little bit of perspective if you're also learning how...
2020-09-1653 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla2 - chopsticks in the hair ~do we care?hi friends! in today's episode i'm giving you a lil rundown of my mental state, discussing how my views on cultural appropriation and cancel culture have developed with reference to things i've seen on the internet recently and also a short segment on my obsession of the week - sense 8.
follow me ☆
instagram.com/amberakilla
小红书 @amberakilla
youtube.com/@amberakilla
patreon.com/amberakilla
instagram.com/friend.crush
www.tiktok.com
twitter.com
music & mixes ☼
...
2020-09-0841 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akilla1 - texting ur ex but it's me telling u what to sayhi friends! in this episode i'll be talking about helping my friend reply to her ex and why it's important to simplify the way we communicate when we're feeling emotional in order to set healthy boundaries without burning bridges.
follow me ☆
https://instagram.com/amberakilla/
https://instagram.com/friend.crush/
https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla
https://twitter.com/amberakilla
music & mixes ☼
https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla
https://open.spotify.com/user/grmwpz7ats6kei786pbgqujat?si=35f8421e44ba49eb
2020-08-2515 min
Friend Crush with Amber Akillawelcome to friend crush!hi hello, welcome to Friend Crush!!! get ready for cute, chaotic and critical thinking from me aka Amber Akilla ~ stay hydrated and speak soon ♡
follow me ☆
https://instagram.com/amberakilla/
https://instagram.com/friend.crush/
https://www.tiktok.com/@amberakilla
https://twitter.com/amberakilla
music & mixes ☼
https://soundcloud.com/amberakilla
https://open.spotify.com/user/grmwpz7ats6kei786pbgqujat?si=35f8421e44ba49eb
2020-08-2401 min