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Anna Dimmel

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We Were Christian Kids with Justin Randall and Calvin ArseniaWe Were Christian Kids with Justin Randall and Calvin ArseniaEp 31: Miracle Cannibalism! (with Marley Allenbrand and Anna Dimmel)Justin Randall (@imjustinrandall) and Calvin Arsenia (@calvinarsenia) are joined by amazing guests Marley Allenbrand (@marleyann) and Anna Dimmel (@annadimmel). We talk about -- naturally -- Christian upbringings, both evangelical and Catholic. We also discuss coming out, doing it safely, and working toward healing internalized homophobia. Best of all, we hear all about Marley and Anna's beautiful relationship!!! AND (bonus) -- Anna interprets a dream for Calvin. This episode is very special!!!2021-07-071h 00Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe journey of the soul - the spiritual awakening of being born againIn this episode, I offer deconstructed thoughts on what it means to be born of water and spirit. And how the process of being born again is one that is repeated throughout the spiritual journey of life over and over again.  Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel 2020-03-0932 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorTrauma bonding - a spiritual actTrauma bonding is either healthy or unhealthy. These bonds are built through shared trauma experiences, whether through story sharing of the trauma or through shared experiences. The effects of unhealthy trauma bonding often result in anxiety, fear of being unheard or the constant need for validation. However, the benefits of healthy trauma bonding, offer a safe place to heal and naturally receive validation. In this episode, I share what I've learned from a lifetime of unhealthy trauma bonding and how I've created a spiritual practice of maintaining a sacred circle around my trauma.   Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.co...2020-02-1325 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorA new wave of spirituality - get ready for 2020It is no secret that during the last few years we witnessed a huge rise in faith deconstruction. Where new questions were being asked, new conversations and new ways of thinking emerged. Many left the church during this time and have been wandering in a wilderness of pain and recovery. But, Spirit is shifting things in 2020. It is sparking a new movement outside of the walls of religiosity. Those who worked hard to find healing are stepping into a new chapter this year. One filled with JOY, happiness, peace, comfort, healing, magic and all things full of child-like wonder...2020-02-0600 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorHappy Holidays? 3 Things I'm doing differently this yearThere is magic this time of year that is often overlooked by commitments, obligations, sadness, grief and anxiety. But, in this episode, I share how I'm changing the way this season feels for me - and most importantly, how I am learning to honor my soul and the divine magic of Christmas.  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Anna's Holiday Gift Guide: https://annadimmel.com/2019/11/25/best-unique-holiday-gift-guide-with-a-purpose/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel 2019-12-1029 minLieblings-PlätzchenLieblings-PlätzchenAm Nestroyplatz mit Anna WielanderAm Mikrofon: Jana Wiese, Anna Wielander Link zur Webseite In Folge 17 war ich mit Anna Wielander im Café Ramasuri am Nestroyplatz in der Leopoldstadt. Sie hat von ihrem Studium in Wien und Prag, ihrem Podcast Jugendstil, Vorbehalten ggü. Podcasts im Journalismus-Studium und ihrem neuen Lieblingsprojekt, szenische Fellner-Lesungen erzählt. Außerdem: viele Wortspiele und Lotus-Kekse. In Folge 17 war ich mit Anna Wielander im Café Ramasuri am Nestroyplatz in der Leopoldstadt. Sie hat von ihrem Studium in Wien und Prag, ihrem Podcast Jugendstil, Vorbehalten ggü. Podcasts im Journalismus-Studium und ihrem neuen Lieblingsprojekt, szenische Fellne...2019-12-0939 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorEvangelize? Post deconstruction thoughtsThis is such an awkward topic! It was awkward back when I was trying to "save" and witness to my friends. And now it feels super awkward as I can't remember the last time I said even that word. lol Like many Christians, years ago, I was desperately trying to do the right thing and keep those I loved from going to hell. After going through deconstruction and letting go of institutions, organizations and any fear of hell, I was left with just me and Spirit - which shed lots of light on many subjects, such as this. In...2019-11-2039 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorHow my relationship with the Bible changed (and why it needed to) - post deconstruction thoughtsIn middle school, reading the Bible became my outlet and central point of connection with Spirit. It was a tender place that I held onto through adulthood. The studying of scripture became a passion and led me to eventually become a pastor. But, there was a point when my relationship shifted with the Bible. In this episode, I talk about when my relationship with the Bible changed and how I handled those shifts during the deconstruction process. Where God led me to let go of the idol I had made the Bible to be, and embrace the realness of...2019-11-1447 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhy being desperate and hungry for God isn't always healthy - how my prayer life changedBefore deconstructing, my life involved loads of prayer. Since I was a kid, prayer was a huge part of my life. I literally have nearly 50 journals filled with tear-stained pages, pleading and begging for God's comfort, peace and direction. In this episode, I discuss the damaging cycle so many find themselves in when God is their only safe place, only sense of connection and acceptance, or only "lover" of their soul. It sets the tone for depression, isolation and loads of denial.  During my journey in the wilderness, everything was stripped away - including my prayer life. I wanted c...2019-11-0746 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorI want what they have! A confession of jealousyEvery single person deals with jealousy on some level. But, it's one of those hush-hush topics that no one talks about. Whether it's jealousy over someone's relationship, career, good opportunity, house or lot in life, just know that these thoughts are soooo common. In this episode, I unravel the patterns of jealousy and how it's merely just an obstacle in the way of finding our true path. Sharing from my own journey, I offer tips on how to change your inner dialogue and accept the beautiful journey that is only YOURS.  Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com 2019-10-1742 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorHow to survive toxic relationships (and finally have peace)For years, I believed it was my job to fix the toxic relationships in my life. I believed by doing everything "right", eventually good would win out and all would be well. But my fear of being disliked, rejected and misunderstood blinded my ability to see just how toxic some of these relationships were. I became a slave to these relationships and they began to completely run my life. In this episode, I talk candidly about my 15 year journey of navigating toxic relationships and discovering that fixing them wasn't the answer - accepting the reality of what these relationships...2019-10-0944 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorFeel a shift happening? You're right on timeThis week marks the Autumn equinox which often brings a significant amount of change. As many of us are leaving a season of loss, heartache, grief and wilderness wandering, this shift offers an invitation to step into the next chapter. This season, in particular, is all about harvest, abundance and the preparation for new things. A season of celebration that we made it this far - and the reassurance that everything will be okay.  Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel Wellness: https://annadimmel.com/wellness/ 2019-09-2736 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen life gets lonely - finding hope in the wildernessThe path to authenticity can often feel lonely. When we leave the status quo to run after something real, an empty space is created. Whether it's a deconstruction of faith, community, marriage or friendship, the voids left behind can be a lonely place. In this episode I talk about my personal journey: from having viral blogs, speaking engagements, a thriving career, and a full social calendar, to losing the majority of my following and my personal and social world going to crickets. In my journey of following Spirit into the wild, I found myself in a vast, lonely wilderness...2019-09-1832 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe culture we come from - how it affects us and those around usOne thing I'm beginning to learn is how much we see the world through our own cultural lens. And when I say culture, I don't mean our demographics - I mean what our background is, what we have been taught to believe about the world and those around us. How we view the world has everything to do with our own personal culture. In this episode, I explore the idea of how much this affects everything from how we view ourselves to our ability to connect with others.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://ww...2019-09-0635 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorEmbracing the FEELS - rage, power, sadness, tenderness - ALL of them have a purposeWe all have tender, soft parts of us. We equally have strong, powerful parts of us. For a long time, these dynamics were out of balance for me. Not because I didn't have them, but because I thought I needed permission to access them. Which left me in this kind of numb space. When you feel like all you can be is gentle, you end up full of rage - because the power has no where to go. And when you feel like all you have to be is strong, you end up with loads of anxiety...2019-08-2038 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorTalking about body - self-acceptance, sexuality and being present in your skinWe are made of three equal parts: mind, body and spirit. But, for many of us, mind and spirit are seen as the focus while our bodies are the afterthought. The body is often viewed as the flesh; the part that needs to be contained, managed and taught to submit. In this episode, I explore the idea of body being equally as valuable (and good) as spirit and mind. I share my experiences from purity culture and the lengths I went to in denying myself. I talk about how abuse and trauma played a part in my disconnection with...2019-08-0941 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorEvery choice has value - letting go of regretLiving with regret is something many of us struggle with. From our career, parenting, love life, marriage and relationships, the desire to do everything "right" is a high standard to achieve. But, because of the pressure to be "perfect", we can we get entangled in the fear of making mistakes, so we get stuck...unable to move forward. Or we feel such pain over the mistakes we've made that we lose the ability to trust ourselves. Learning to see mistakes as part of the way we are designed to live, shifts the perspective. Trusting that we were made to...2019-07-1829 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorReligious Trauma Syndrome - with Dr. Marlene WinellDr. Winell is a human development consultant, educator, and writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her background includes 28 years of experience in human services, in both community and academic settings. She holds a doctorate in Human Development and Family Studies from Pennsylvania State University and is the author of Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion. We discuss the symptoms of RTS, the cycle of abuse that occurs in many churches and how the trauma of betrayal from former friends of loved ones in your faith community can leave damaging effects.  ...2019-07-0850 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorPain does not have to define youBefore I sat down to record this episode, I asked myself: if I could only say one thing what would it be? My answer to that question was immediate: you don't have to be defined by pain. THIS is the core of my message. This one sentence is everything. Because every single one of us has experienced pain. But, how we handle pain depends greatly on our personalities; it also determines the kind of life we will live moving forward. In this episode, I share from my own struggle with pain and offer hope to rise on the other s...2019-06-2830 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe Bible and Homosexuality - how I became affirmingAfter writing a recent blog on my journey of becoming affirming, I received a lot of questions like, "How can you be affirming when the Bible is so clear?" I decided a podcast would be the best way to address this subject in its entirety. I share how I walked through friends and family coming out to me, which began my journey of wrestling with theology. Covering the famous passages in scripture that address homosexuality, I break down historical context and translations. I discuss Old Testament, New Testament, Jesus and the spirit of the law vs. the legalism of...2019-06-1541 minBehind The MirrorBehind The Mirror30 Religions before turning 30 - with Reba RileyI invite the author of, Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome Reba Riley to chat with me about her spiritual quest of experiencing thirty religions before her thirtieth birthday. As a former self-described Evangelical poster child, her journey defied nearly every barrier she had between herself, others and God.  Reba shares how her beliefs about God shifted, as well as how she was received (eh, not so received) by her "Christian" friends. Reba gets honest and real as she describes the breaking point in her faith and betrayal from her community. Our conversation is full of wit, humor and honest raw...2019-06-0954 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThoughts on Paul's conversion - leaving religion and embracing loveThe idea of "conversion" typically sparks thoughts of salvation experiences or of exchanging an old life for a new one. But, when I read the story of Paul's conversion now, I can't help but see it through a different lens. The story of Paul's conversion is one of trading hate for acceptance, murder for protection and anger for love. It is the story of one human's encounter with the Divine and how it completely wrecked his religious agenda.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel   2019-06-0130 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen life gets hard - finding light in the darkWith recent events including the loss of Rachel Held Evans and the legal case my family has been involved in, I have felt overwhelmed by dark. Where is God in any of it? How can I even say that "God is in control" or that God is even good? In this episode, I peel back the layers of my thoughts and questions and share where I believe God is - and where my faith manages to rest inside of tragedy. No matter what heavy situations you are carrying, I promise that God is not behind the pain, loss, abuse...2019-05-1931 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhat do I do now? Finding purpose outside of religionFor most of my life, I chased after my "calling". Believing my purpose was to minister, be a pastor and evangelize was what I thought I was supposed to be about. After all, isn't that the Jesus way? But, after having much of my "callings" stripped away, I realized one's purpose must go deeper. Having taken another look at Jesus, I realized that to follow his life meant letting go of preconceived ideas of a "calling" or purpose. It asks you to look inward and discover what is really inside and what you are to do with...2019-04-2937 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen dead things rise - the story of nature, of Jesus and of meI hear many people say that they can't wait to get to heaven - to be in their "forever home" with their forever family. But, if heaven is the ultimate destination, why did Jesus raise Lazarus from the grave? Why did he weep at his tomb? Why did Jesus himself rise from death? No matter how much one says they want to "get to heaven", instinctively we all have a desire to stay here and live; it is built into the fragments of our DNA and our natural instinct. The story of Jesus isn't merely his death o...2019-04-2035 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorLetting go of relationships - when it's time to move onWhether in a friendship, partnership, spouse or community, sometimes the season changes and it's time to move on. Recognizing when it is time to let go can be difficult - especially if you have experienced any trauma or abuse in your life, you may experience feelings of shame, guilt or fear and often stay in a relationship way past it's expiration date. Learning to embrace a mentality of a God of "more" rather than a God of "lack" was a game changer for me in this area. It freed me from the belief that I had to hoard things...2019-04-1231 minBehind The MirrorBehind The Mirror"Take off the grave clothes and let him go"The story of Lazarus is one that continues to grip me. In this episode, I cover the story of Lazarus, his death and how this Jesus character showed up and wrote a different ending. No matter if your story includes divorce, being LGBTQ, a single parent or anything else that has landed you (or someone you love) on the outside, your story isn't over. Whether you have been outcasted, labeled as dead or pronounced "unclean", I promise there is an alternate ending.     Anna's website: www.justajesusfollwer.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel 2019-04-0640 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorMy recent revelation about trauma - abuse, betrayal, triggers and all the thingsFor most of my life I assumed my reactions to certain things were normal - after all, it's just "how I am". But, lately I've been rather introspective about my reactions. Like what makes me fly off the handle at random or what throws me into panic mode. I started wondering if maybe those reactions weren't all that normal. After a conversation with a wise soul, I had a revelation about childhood trauma that completely changed the game.  It set me on a path to not only identifying why I react certain ways, but how to heal from it (l...2019-03-2331 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe 4 seasons of every person - death, rebirth, drought and preparationIn this episode I talk about the discovery of my inner emotions mirrored in the seasons of winter, spring, summer and fall. I parallel how nature, animals, plants and even the story of Jesus tell the same story of death, rebirth, drought and preparation. All of creation adheres to the natural order of seasons. Humans, however, seem to be the only ones who fight the changing of our personal seasons. I share stories from my own grief and personal winter and how I've learned to embrace and recognize the seasons when they come.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.c...2019-03-1649 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorHomosexuality and the Christian Faith - with Robert ArnauI invite seminary graduate Robert Arnau, to talk about homosexuality inside the Christian faith. This is one of my favorite conversations this season. Having preached at many churches, Robert is invited to speak on panels regarding the LGBTQ+faith topics. We discuss his personal journey of trauma in conversion therapy, demonic exorcisms and how he wrestled with the commonly known anti-homosexuality passages in scripture. Robert explains these passages including context and varying interpretations. Our conversation is full of warmth, encouragement and clarity for those wresting on both sides of this subject.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com 2019-03-0857 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen the church gets it wrong - the truth behind spiritual growth and communityWith so much tension inside denominations and churches, I decided to share my own experiences and journey within church. From being a kid in the pew every week to being a lead pastor, I talk about my journey from inside the church to venturing outside. I compare the ideas of community built on an agreed set upon beliefs versus a community built on differences and diversity. This episode includes loads of encouragement for those who have been hurt by their church, considering changing denominations or those who have left church all together.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com2019-03-0134 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWho are your soulmates? Talking relationships and life changes with Kirby CarolI invite one of my soulmates onto the show to talk about all things relationships. Kirby is a world traveler, ghost writer and honorary psychologist (at least she writes like one;)). Kirby shares the psychology of change - why we struggle to make big changes even if they're good for us and the shame we often encounter when we change "too much". Included in our chat, is a huge boost of encouragement if you're going through a big change such as divorce, relationship struggles, church exit, faith shift or even friendship issues. Kirby offers loads of wisdom and humor...2019-02-2354 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhat love is and isn'tAs my faith deconstructed, so did other things. One in particular was my belief about love. I was taught that real love meant laying down your life for someone. But, the practice of laying down my life inside my marriage, friendships and parenting led me to an unhealthy (and rather unhappy) place. In this episode, I share how the foundation of what I thought love was impacted all of my relationships. I equally share how I deconstructed that foundation and built a new one on what love really is and isn't.   Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com 2019-02-1637 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe Jussie Smollett attack - thoughts on racism and the churchThis week has been a crazy one in the media. Like many of you, I've been bombarded with stories in the news. One story however, stood out - the story of the attack on Jussie Smollett (Empire) gripped me. In this episode, I share my candid thoughts on racism and the church. I dig into the history of racism inside the Christian faith and how it continues to play an active role inside the western world. I also share how I believe Jesus would respond, with a current take on the Good Samaritan.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.c...2019-02-0131 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorEmbracing surrender - letting go of control and my lovely stubbornnessWell, let's be honest - I like being in control. I like being "right". I like winning. And I like knowing the outcome. As much as I believed this offered me the upper hand, this last year I learned how much power actually rests in surrender. I haven't historically embraced surrender - it's often been something I avoided (in arguments, board games, grief, pain and just about anything I put my hand to). I used to believe that surrender meant failure - or that I had "given up". But, what I've learned is that surrender is the ultimate prize...2019-01-2534 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorSay goodbye to fearLove and fear can't share the same space - and yet, I spent a lot of my life fearing many things: hell, disappointing God, the power of the "enemy" - I lived in a tightly constructed box with a narrow view of the world on the outside. There were "others" and there were those like me. As I have ventured through a deconstruction of faith, I have let go of many of those fears and yet, the cycle of fear continued. This episode explores many reasons why we are afraid, the affects of a life built on fear and...2019-01-1943 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWe're all the same - Traveling the globe with PBS show host Rachel ParsonsI invite Rachel Parsons, host of the show The Peregrine Dame (PBS and Amazon), to talk about her perspectives and experiences as a solo world traveler. Rachel shares how she has broken through cultural, language and religious barriers throughout her journeys and the love she develops for the people who welcome her. She offers insight into ways we can overcome our fear of people who are different than us and steps we can take inside our own cities to bridge cultural/religious gaps.  Rachel Parsons: http://theperegrinedame.com/ Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com P...2019-01-1152 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorAll About Family - Meet my kids as we talk about ALL things familyGiven this is the first episode of 2019, I thought it would be fun to introduce you to my kiddos: Bria, Lyla, Viola & Noa. We discuss ALL THE THINGS (and I promise, they hold nothing back - including a laughing fit from Viola and a personal confession from Lyla). I ask them what grown ups should understand about kids and also their thoughts about church and God. They answer questions directly from the facebook group and they give a personal thank you to each Patreon at the end. Happy New Years! And I hope you enjoy :) Anna's blog...2019-01-0236 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen it's time to be honestSo much of my life has been spent avoiding hard conversations. I have tried to keep people happy, relationships tension free and everyone I care about free from being upset or angry. But, what ended up happening, is that I was unhappy and full of tension and anger. Because, we all need to feel heard - we also need to be fully known and understood. But, that doesn't happen when we avoid being honest with ourselves and with those closest to us. In this episode I explore the reasons why we are dishonest; I also talk about how to...2018-12-2153 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen trust has been broken - how to trust people again and build relationships that thriveIf you have a history of relationships with broken trust, trying to trust people again can feel like an attempt to climb Mount Everest. If this has been your story, most likely you want to crawl into a hole and hide - vowing to never trust again. I SO GET IT. In this episode, I share my own story of broken trust and expose the dark loneliness I landed in after closing myself off to wanting to trust anyone again. I break down why we stop trusting people (including God) and offer steps to heal and create lasting, healthy...2018-12-1454 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe single mom, prostitute, adulteress and widow - the genealogy Jesus choseIn this episode I open up about my struggles with the holiday season: the loneliness and the empty spaces that just feel like they should be filled. This year, I am viewing the story of Jesus a bit differently. I explore the wilderness journey and the striking similarities that Mary faced during her own wilderness. I also dig into the genealogy of the four (rather scandalous) women the Bible says Jesus comes from; all of it painting a rather different picture than the one I often heard about during Christmas.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com P...2018-12-0735 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorTheology, Politics and a Flexible Faith - with Bonnie KristianI invite writer and author Bonnie Kristian to talk about her recent book, A Flexible Faith, Re-thinking what it means to follow Jesus today. Bonnie is a political writer as well as a seminary graduate from Bethel University. We talk about embracing diversity in theology and politics and how we can love eachother while disagreeing. Bonnie offers insight into the loneliness you experience when you are the "outsider" in your community as well as offering permission to leave your denomination when needed. One of my favorite parts of our conversation was her list of 5 things she considers when looking...2018-11-3050 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen you find yourself in the wilderness - walking through mental battles and lonelinessOne of the most difficult parts in the deconstruction journey is that of loneliness. Whether you've lost your community, friends, family or career many find themselves wandering in a wilderness while deconstructing their faith. In this episode, I dive into this portion of my journey and expose the pain, isolation and mental battles I faced and continue to face. I offer three phases of the wilderness, taking notes from Jesus' personal journey in the wilderness. This is an encouraging episode to offer comfort and empower you to continue following where Spirit leads.   Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com...2018-11-1532 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen your beliefs are blown to bits - deconstruction and a crisis of faithIn this episode, I explore the psychological effects of deconstruction. I break down the four phases of deconstruction and openly share the good, bad and ugly of each part. I get honest about the painful realities I continue to face during this process and share my own crisis of faith.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel   2018-11-0936 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorLife After Blue Babies Pink - My conversation with B.T. HarmanI invite BT Harman (Brett Trapp) to join me on this episode as we talk about life after Blue Babies Pink. I ask him ALL THE THINGS. We discuss how he overcame his fears to be authentic and bravely share his journey with the world. He shares what has broken his heart the most inside the LGBTQ Christian community as well as what pushed him to open up about his personal beliefs. He beautifully offers empathy and encouragement towards parents, friends and family of LGBTQ people and shares useful tips of how best to love and honor them. This...2018-11-0254 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWalking through grief and breaking negative cyclesI spent years trying to avoid painful emotions. I mastered the art of "being okay". But, eventually unresolved grief made a loud appearance and I couldn't hide from it any longer.  Confronting painful emotions is difficult, but our bodies are designed to grieve. It's how we heal, process and move forward. In order to have the life we truly want to live, grief is something we have to press through in order to get to the other side.  Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel 2018-10-2540 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorFrom worship singer to worldwide alternative folk artist - my conversation with Calvin ArseniaI invite Calvin Arsenia, a classically trained vocalist, harpist and musician onto the show for an honest conversation about his journey of leaving the worship space and following his own path. Calvin's music has gained worldwide attention for his shows that tackle sexuality, religion and race in a stunningly unorthodox manner.  We discuss how he learned to believe he was enough while embracing his true self and how he created an authentic life and community. He talks candidly about the pain and frustration he encountered during his time in church, but equally the beauty and depth he c...2018-10-181h 00Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWhen it's time to be real - being authentic in an unauthentic worldLearning how to be vulnerable, real and authentic was one of THE HARDEST THINGS I've ever done. In this episode, I expose my own journey into authenticity and the baby steps I took in this process. I also talk about how Jesus lived and interracted with humans on a real level and how the main thing that irritated the snot out of him were those who were "false".  Show Notes: Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Facebook Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel 2018-10-1150 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorYou aren't called to suffer - Re-thinking "taking up your cross"Jesus said things like: my yoke is easy and my burden is light. He talked about offering life and giving it to the fullest. He told those who were tired and weary that he would give them rest. The message of loving well and living well were consistent throughout Christ's ministry and teachings. And yet, many Christians instead of focusing on loving and living well, they focus on "suffering well".  In this episode, I challenge the idea living a life of suffering as we re-think verses like: "taking up your cross" and how you should be "content i...2018-10-0440 minBehind The MirrorBehind The Mirror"Who told you that you were naked?" - Thoughts on Adam and EveHow does the first story of humans in the Bible relate to our present day culture? In this episode, I explore the "fall" and how it pertains to a very relevant question: what does God say is good and what does God say is evil? This story reveals the primary cause as to why so many denominations, families, relationships, churches and groups are divided. It also offers hope for how we can find peace inside our relationships and inside our relationship with the Divine.   Show notes: Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www...2018-09-2741 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorIt's okay to not know - Letting go of having all of the answersWhen you start to question what you believe, what certain scriptures mean, how you view the Bible or God all together, many of us start to panic. For me, it was mainly because one of the predominant things in the Christian culture I was raised in, was the pressure to "have an answer" for everything. But when my absolute answers started unraveling, I felt terrified. In this episode I share what that process looked like for me and how I was able to shift from fear to peace.  Show notes: Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com2018-09-2040 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorRe-thinking the Bible and Our Authenticity with Pete Enns, Jim Lee and Tim RymelIn part 2 of the best of season 1, I explore the best of my conversations with Pete Enns (The Bible for Normal People), Jim Lee (Energy healing with the Splankna Institute) and Tim Rymel (author of Re-Thinking Everything). In these candid, honest conversastions we discuss topics like: Re-thinking our relationship with the Bible and how we read it How to be authentic Spiritual abuse Inclusion and LGBTQ issues Deconstruction Show Notes: Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel   2018-09-1336 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorRe-imagining God with William Paul Young, Carlos Rodriguez and Micah J. MurrayIn this episode, I compile the highlights of some this season's best guests (part 1). You'll hear the best of my conversation with WP Young (The Shack), Carlos Rodriguez (Happy Sonship) and Micah J Murray as we explore different ways of imagining God, Christianity and our faith as a whole. We discuss thoughts on hell, inclusion, the history of American Christianity, how we've misunderstood God, "judgement" and what Jesus was really all about.  Show Notes: Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/an...2018-09-0636 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorIs God actually in control? When bad things happen to good peopleSo often when bad things happen we are told, "don't worry, God is in control" But can God be in control and good at the same time? Is the idea of God being in control even biblical? I explore all of this from my wrestling with this question and my own journey of trying to balance the idea of a good God in the midst of tragedy and heartache.  Show notes: Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com 2018-08-3042 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorDefeating Anxiety and Depression with Dallas AmsdenI invite Dallas Amsden, host of the podcast Defeating Depression, onto the show to share his personal journey of anxiety and depression. Dallas opens up about being a pastor's kid and how his depression and anxiety came to a breaking point where change had to happen. In our conversation, we discuss how mental health is viewed in the church, why so many of us hide in shame of our anxiety or depression and how we can break the unhealthy cycles of coping that we fall into. We also discuss how anxiety and depression are so prevelent when we are...2018-08-231h 00Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThoughts on Christians and marijuana use - a candid conversationI invite my brother on this episode to have a candid, open conversation about marijuana use. We discuss how we were taught to view this when we were younger, how it was addressed in the church and our thoughts on it currently. Show notes: Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Podcast FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel   2018-08-1651 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorRadical inclusion, equality & movement of the Spirit - what the first church was actually aboutI've heard the phrase: well, we just need to get back to how they did things in the first church. I wanted to play on that idea and really dig into what radical movements the church in Acts was actually about. I explore how Jesus set up this movement and how Paul radically embraced this idea of inclusion, equality and wild movement of the Spirit. Show Notes: Anna's Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup   2018-08-0940 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorPete Enns - Deconstructing and Re-constructing the BibleI am honored to invite one of my favorite teachers and thought-leaders onto the podcast in this thought-provoking episode with Pete Enns. Host of the podcast, The Bible for Normal People, Pete is the professor of Biblical Studies at Eastern University, has his PHD from Harvard and is a contributor to numerous publications and written works. Pete is candid and honest in our conversation as we dig into tough questions like:  What about those conflicting stories in the Bible? How should we read the Old and New Testaments? How do we handle confrontations with friends and family who d...2018-08-021h 16Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThoughts on Sexuality - pre-marital sex, porn and all the thingsThe topic of sex is one riddled with a thousand different questions and this episode is my attempt to answer some of the common questions I receive. Questions like: is pre-marital sex a sin? What does God view as marriage? Is pornography wrong? What about adultery? What were the opinions of Jesus? What is an actual "Biblical marriage"? I tackle this topic within the lens of scripture, offering the framework of culture, context and common sense. It is an honest episode shared from my own journey and from the collection of stories you've shared with me along the way...2018-07-2643 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorWilliam Paul Young - Lies we believe about GodOh my goodness. This episode is hands down one of my favorite conversations we’ve have on the show. I talk with New York Times best selling author, William Paul Young (The Shack). He offers candid perspectives on the (often misrepresented) nature and character of God. He answers questions like what do we do with things like judgement? Is hell real? What do we when do when we are in conflict with our theology? How do we overcome shame and embrace who we are? I am a huge fan and was honored to share in such an unfiltered discussion ab...2018-07-191h 13Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorNavigating toxic relationships - when it's time to awaken changeDid you know that the hard relationships in your life don't get to control you? WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS YOU SAY?! That's right my friends. And we tackle ALL of it in this episode addressing toxic relationships - whether with a family member, spouse, friend, ex-spouse, partner - we hit ALL the catagories. I unpack the 4 phases of toxic relationships and how to recognize the phase you are in. I offer simple steps to identify healthy relationships versus unhealthy ones and how to set healthy boundaries that will protect your heart and your sanity. I also address...2018-07-121h 03Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThoughts on spiritual attacks and strongholds - candid answers from my evolving journeyIn this episode, I tackle many of the not-so-fun things Christians are told to watch out for. I answer questions like:  Are spiritual attacks a thing? Will bad things happen if you are not in God's will? What happens if you step outside the "covering" of your authority? What are spiritual strongholds? After being in a ministry role for nearly a decade, I got an up close and center look at ALL things dark and light. I share from my own journey the wrestling of what I had been taught, versus what I actually saw in the m...2018-07-0551 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorScreenwriter and film director Sandra Martin – how to follow your purposeIn this episode, I invite our first female guest onto the podcast and it couldn't be more fitting than screenwriter and film director, Sandra Martin. If you've been thinking of pursuing a creative venture, making a career change or going after a passion project, you will leave this conversation feeling inspired and encouraged to say yes to that thing you've been dreaming about. Sandra shares her unconventional journey of becoming a screenwriter and gives an honest look inside her battle of self-doubt. She offers insight into how to handle moments of feeling unqualified and gives practical advice on what...2018-06-2944 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorLetting go of everyone’s approval – tools to handle rejectionDid you know there are 3 groups we are constantly trying to win approval from? Yep. They are the same for all of us: family, friends and our tribe/society. We do everything in our power to gain their approval and keep our status inside each of those groups set. But, if you tend to be a  follower of a still, small voice inside, eventually you will encounter a tension brewing between following that inner voice and pleasing your groups. When faced with speaking your truth from that inner knowing or making a decision that poses potential rejection, an...2018-06-2150 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorFormer ex-gay ministry leader, Tim Rymel - Re-thinking EverythingIn this episode I talk with author and former minister Tim Rymel. Tim was the outreach director of the ex-gay ministry Love in Action, between 1991-1996 that specialized in conversion therapy. He is also a contributor to The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project and a member of the American Psychological Association and the Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transexual Issues. We talk about his story and get a behind the scenes look into conversion therapy as well as discuss his new book, Re-Thinking Everything. Show Notes: Tim’s We...2018-06-141h 02Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorHow to overcome trauma and live your best lifeTrauma is that line the separates the before and the after; the once was and now is. Whether mental, emotional, physical or spiritual the effects of are often the same. In this episode, I share a personal traumatic event and the 3 steps I took to climb to the other side: finding safety, grief/remembrance and re-writing my inner dialogue. These tools changed my life and brought me back to who I was before - only better and stronger. There is hope for you and your journey and I can't wait to see who you are on the other side. ...2018-06-0753 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe history behind Christian group behavior – Protestants and the current American churchIn this episode I dig into American history with a look at the laws and religious customs of the Protestant colonists: how they behaved towards outsiders, how they viewed those who thought differently and how they treated those inside their faith who dared to step outside the lines. There are compelling similarities between the early colonists and the pattern of behavior inside American churches today.  If you’ve felt like an outsider, been mistreated by your faith community or wondered why American faith groups behave the way they do, you will find much hope and clarity in this conversation. The...2018-05-3141 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorAren't we supposed to take the Bible literally? Candid answers from my evolving faith journeyIn this episode, I tackle some common questions surrounding recent topics inside Christianity: what about taking the word of God literally? How do we know which perspectives on scripture are correct? Isn't the Bible clear on so many of these issues? How can so many "Christians" believe so differently? I admit to the bias lense I was taught to see with and share how I evolved into thinking differently.  I break down each of these questions from the view of scripture itself, the model of Jesus and our overall history as a faith group. There is an offering of p...2018-05-2551 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorCarlos Rodriguez of Happy Sonship - Why Deconstruction is a Good ThingIn this episode, I talk with pastor, author and blogger Carlos Rodriguez of happysonship.com. This has to be one of my favorite conversations this season. We candidly discuss the state of American Christianity and the current tension between Christians. He offers a unique perspective on how to make sense of the condemning God of the Old Testament versus the redemptive God of the New Testament and offers empathy and understanding for those who feel like they need a break from church. He shares insight as to what we can learn from this new up-and-coming-generation and why he believes...2018-05-1755 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorLeaving the Christian norm – conversations with Micah J. MurrayI talk with blogger, writer and former evangelical ministry leader Micah J. Murray about his journey of leaving the Christian norm. Micah candidly shares his story of being raised inside a conservative Christian cult and the heresy he witnessed during his evangelical career. He shares his deep longing to know that God was good and equally the fear and loneliness he faced once he stepped outside the box. His story is honest, brave and covered in marks of Divine love. If you’re up for a candid, unfiltered conversation offering different ideas and perspectives (and don’t mind a bit...2018-05-101h 00Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe freedom to own your story – without shame or regretFirst of all, let me just say that YOU have an amazing story: one filled with hope, courage, tenacity and depth. But, often we don't see our stories that way. Instead we feel regret, guilt and shame over things we wish we could change. But, what if we were able to own our entire story without a tinge of regret or guilt? A lot of us don’t even think that’s possible, but I’m here to tell you, IT IS. In this episode I offer an alternative view to our journeys where there is no before and after...2018-05-0335 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe power of safe relationships - the science of energy healing with Jim LeeWhether you experienced trauma as a child or adult, according to Jim Lee, we all carry the effects of trauma. In this episode I talk with Jim Lee who currently serves as a trainer for the Splankna Therapy Institute which focuses on Christian mind-body protocol for energy psychology. We explore the topics of emotional pain, trauma, faith deconstruction, anger with God and relationship issues. He discusses how traumatic events can unknowingly affect our everyday life. Jim offers insight into ways we can identify our trauma triggers and understand our body’s natural responses to situations. He gives tools on ho...2018-04-2755 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorHow to quickly interpret any dream – 3 simple steps to dream interpretationEver wake up from a dream and know that it meant something, but can’t figure out what that something was? Dreams have been a valuable source of connection with the Divine since Biblical times and are still a powerful way to gain clarity, hope and insight into relationships, jobs and many other issues we are facing in our daily life. Over the years, I’ve become fascinated by learning how to interpret dreams (and have gotten pretty good at it). I take years of research and practice and break it down into 3 simple steps that you can use to l...2018-04-1943 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorMy raw moment of fear, anxiety and heartbreakThis episode is a bit different - in this episode I share a recording from my car, when was battling fear, anxiety and total heartbreak. I let you in on this raw moment and truly take an exposing look at divorce, faith issues and my personal heartache. If you've ever had moments when you felt like no one in the world understood your pain, this episode is for you. This episode is for everyone who feels alone in their hurt or in their story. You are beloved. You are seen. And, my friends, you are not alone. ...2018-04-1232 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorDifficult Relationships - boundaries and gaining your power backWe all have relationships that are exhausting - you know, the ones that leave you drained and feeling frustrated afterwards? Yeah, THOSE. Some are life long friends that we don't know how to navigate, others are family that we love deeply but continually feel let down by and others are just difficult people that we are stuck constantly dealing with. In this episode I talk about how to set healthy expectations and boundaries where needed. I also share (from experience) what to do with one-sided friendships and how you know when it's time to move on. I also tackle...2018-04-0545 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe "me too" movement and sexual allegations inside the church - discussions with my brother Jonathan DimmelIn this episode, I sit down with my brother as we openly discuss the “me too” movement and the effect it has had on the church. We discuss the allegations of pastor Andy Savage as well as the recent allegations against an IHOP pastor. Should these men continue to minister? Should the women be expected to just forgive and forget? We weigh in on why women usually stay quiet and the potential harm of churches handling these issues internally. Jonathan candily addresses all the guys who fear potential scrutiny and equally offers hope to women who feel like there just...2018-03-281h 22Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorRedefining my relationship with the Bible – embracing the questions, doubts and strugglesI asked the tribe what they wanted me to talk about and this topic was the resounding answer. In this episode, I talk candidly about my journey with scripture; from the innocent blind faith to a world of questions and struggles, I cover my journey of wrestling with the Bible. I talk about issues such as contradictions, infallibility and the meaning of the “word” of God. I’ve found that questions should not be feared or avoided – but embraced and pressed into.  Facebook Podcast Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup Podcast voicemail: 913-890-3528 www.jus...2018-03-2344 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorAnxiety, panic attacks and all the things we don't like to talk aboutOne of my best kept secrets was my struggle with anxiety. In this episode I invite you into the parts of my journey that included anxiety, stress and daily panic attacks. From dealing with motherhood, marriage, career spaces and (embarrassingly) even sending Facebook messages, I expose the crippling affect anxiety has had on my life. I've learned a few things about what triggers my anxiety, the importance of naming it and how my past experiences have shaped my struggle in this area. I open up about where I am at today and the path I am taking to find...2018-03-1527 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorOn Becoming Successful - It's time to be your biggest fanHave big dreams that you just can’t shake? Or a calling rattling inside you? If you have a dream you are passionate to pursue but don’t know where to start, this is the episode for you. Anna talks about how awaken the dreams inside, how to kill the need to apologize for what you are good at and how to reshape your confidence inside your space. She also discusses how your personal view of God will impact how you see yourself and your ability to succeed. With practical advice, Anna offers tools to embrace your purpose and unap...2018-03-0839 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorHow to find friends you can be real with - the secret in building deep friendshipsIf you are craving deep, real friendships this episode is for you. So often we spend tons of time and energy on a friendship only to be later disappointed when it didn't pan out the way we thought it would. Frustrated you are left asking, who can you be real with? Or who can be trusted with the intimate details of your life?  THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.  Anna exposes 4 secrets of how to immediately spot a lifelong friend - and equally how to sniff out the bad ones: How do they handle your honesty? How do they treat their ot...2018-02-2750 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorRising from Pain - How to heal from heartacheYou are invited inside one of my hardest moments. I turn the microphone on and let you sit with me as I walk through heartache - in real time. Ugly tears and all, we talk honestly about how to handle heartbreak and grief, what to do with pain when it hits, that lovely topic of forgiveness and how to process anger when you've been wronged. Whether with a friend, family member or significant other we all face emotional pain. Learning how to process it well and rise strong on the other side is one of the most valuable gifts...2018-02-1635 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorFormer mega church pastor Jonathan Bowles talks deconstructionSelf-described former navy seal Christian, Jonathan Bowles (slingshot show) developed many of the top mega-church youth internship programs in the country. Preaching on Sundays to up to 5,000 people regularly, he quickly became a force in the mega church world.  He shares how he went from fasting 40 days at a time and reading the entire Bible multiple times per year, to a complete deconstruction of faith.  He openly discusses when his theology began to shift and the tension he felt while simultaneously having to tow the party-line. Hitting hard topics like the effects of being “blacklisted” from your community after leavin...2018-02-081h 14Behind The MirrorBehind The MirrorThe Unraveling of PatriarchyAre women able to lead without a male “spiritual authority” over them? Taking a look at church history, American history and biblical history, Anna explores the indoctrinated beliefs of patriarchy and spiritual authority. She discusses what was taught to her inside of church regarding her role as a woman - and how the example of Jesus (and God) in scripture dismantle the typical Christian (and patriarchal) gender roles. 2018-02-0150 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorChristianity vs culture – are they any different? Conversations with Marley AllenbrandAnna has an unfiltered conversation with friend and worship leader Marley Allenbrand. Challenging the common understanding of the verse, “be in the world and not of it”, they discuss Western Christianity and the culture it claims to be separate from. Are they all that different? Or is it just high school all over again?  Anna takes a different perspective on this verse and how it relates to the political climate, faith groups and social groups. 2018-01-2433 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorNot being "Christian" enough, boyfriend Jesus and learning to be aloneIn a transparent episode, Anna takes a leap of courage and addresses a topic that has been the source of anxiety and stress most of her life: lonliness. Growing up in the evangelical world, she learned to hide her inner thoughts and ideas for fear of being too different or not "Christian" enough. She also learned to avoid closeness, for fear of being too "codependent". She met everyone else's needs - but learned to not meet her own. She shares the crippling affect this had on her dating life, marriage, sexuality and friendships and equally the redemption she is...2018-01-1744 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorBeauty in SurvivalOn a drive home, Anna turns on her phone and records a raw conversation between herself and God. She shares her struggle with trying to control the outcome of situations and how she has learned to embrace the beauty of managing her cicumstances - not micro managing them. In every season of pain, survival or "ending", comes an invitation to new-birth. Peace, joy, adventure and your very best self can be present in the midst of a season of survival.2017-12-0500 minBehind The MirrorBehind The MirrorDeath, Divorce and All the Hard ThingsAfter being quiet for a year, Anna brings a heartfelt, honest look at the last year of her life. A divorce, the death of two family members and the ending of her role as a pastor - it was a year of pain, anger and grief. But, it was the beginning of a much needed crack in her exterior that led to the undoing of much that she had accepted as "normal". The year was spent in somewhat of a quiet inward wilderness, but it pushed her to be honest - really honest - about her story, journey and...2017-12-0431 min