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Avery Hoenig

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Inspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 112: What Keep You Up At NightToday’s episode is all about one of our favorite activities—sleep! Join Jamie, Avery, and Lucy as they talk about all things sleep - how much, when, and what gets in the way or good sleep. We share our own preferences, struggles, and a little bit of scientific information. We also provide some practical tips to improve sleep and “stop the struggle” if you’re having trouble sleeping. 2024-08-1532 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 110: DreadWhat in your life do you dread? How do you experience dread? What’s the point of dread? How do we make our dread go away?  We dive into all these questions in today’s podcast. Jamie, Avery, and Lucy share their own experiences with dread, and we explore the different ways dread can show up (e.g., Avery’s dread is more anxiety based, and Lucy and Jamie’s dread is more like “I don’t wanna do this!”). We explored the overlap among dread, anxiety, and depression. We talk about how dread comes up for clients in our clinical pr...2024-07-1825 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 109: Parenting with Self-CompassionJamie, Lucy, and Avery have found self-compassion to be incredibly helpful in their own lives and in the lives of their clients. In this episode, we talk specifically about how we use self-compassion as parents. We’ve found self-compassion to be especially useful in parenting situations where we are feeling judgment for ourselves or our kids, during transitions, when we are in conflict or feeling irritable, when we need a break, when we’re making a difficult parenting decision or setting a limit, when we’re feeling regretful about the past or worried about the future, and really whenever we’re...2024-07-0431 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 108: Mother-Daughter Relationships with Hilary Truong, MA, LPCAvery, Jamie, and Lucy are so excited to interview mother-daughter relationship expert, Hilary Truong, MA, LPC! Hilary is a leading voice on keeping mothers and daughters in relationship through the teenage years and beyond. Join us as we discuss what people get wrong about the mother-daughter relationship, what moms and daughters most need from each other, the unique pressures we face as moms, and helpful strategies to repair the mother-daughter relationship. Where to find Hilary:www.hilarymae.comwww.instagram.com/hilarymaecohttps://hilarymaeco.samcart.com/products/mother-daughter-conversation-game2024-06-2030 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 99: EnvyToday, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the often misunderstood emotion, envy. In short, envy can occur when someone has something or is doing something that you want for yourself! It often involves some sort of social comparison, usually with people who are similar to us in some way. We talk about the difference between envy and jealousy and why envy often feels “worse.” We share our own experiences with envy, a universal emotion, and what happens when we ignore it.. We also explore the upsides of envy and why it’s important to label envy when it crops up.R...2024-02-1528 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 95: When the holidays get hotOne of our favorite analogies when it comes to stressful situations is temperature. Conflict can heat things up and everyone can help keep the environment cool and comfortable. In this episode, we talk about what can cause us to come in “hot” to the holiday season and we discuss strategies that can help us keep ourselves cool.2023-12-2118 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 94: Staying grounded during the holiday seasonFor many of us, the holidays can feel like a whirlwind! When we’re busy with the hustle and bustle, it can be hard to stay centered and tuned in. In today’s episode, we explore what, specifically, about the holidays pulsl us off center and leads us to disconnect from ourselves. In addition, we share some principles and practices to facilitate a more grounded and connected holiday season. 2023-12-0725 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 93: Delights of DecemberToday’s episode is all about delight!  We explore how to be more present to delight, how to choose and feel more delight, and how delight can bring us together. We share some of our favorite, specific delights of the holiday season and what can interfere with being delighted. We also invite our listeners to join our December delights challenge (join our email list for more info)!Links:https://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-delightshttps://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-more-delightshttps://www.amazon.com/Power-Fun-Feel-Alive-Again/dp/05932414012023-11-2322 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 92: Rock your Midlife with Ellen Albertson, PhDDr. Ellen Albertson is a psychologist, registered dietician, board certified health and wellness coach, reiki master, and mindful self-compassion teacher. She’s an author and has over 30 years of experience in the healing field. In today’s episode, Ellen  joins us for a conversation about mental health and how to “rock your midlife.” She shares several tips on how to change your mindset, empower yourself, improve your relationships, and find joy from her latest book, Rock Your Midlife: 7 Steps to Transform Yourself and Make Your Next Chapter Your Best Chapter.  Where to find Ellen:https://themidlife...2023-11-1632 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 91: Shed what no longer serves youToday we talk about 7 ways of thinking – 7 cognitive traps – that increase our suffering and increase the likelihood we’ll abandon ourselves. They are: StoriesExpectationsRulesShoulds/OughtsJudgments / negative self-talkComparisonPerfectionismWe define each of these, exploring how they show up in our lives. We talk about how to shed these ways of thinking when they no longer serve us. We also discuss what makes these thoughts so sticky, ingrained, and hard to get rid of. 2023-11-0935 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 90: Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky“Life is a series of storms. As we get older, they tend to be more frequent. Taking time to have “fun” is how we weather them. The storms will keep coming so we must learn to dance in the rain.”  Find Your Unicorn Space by Eve RodskyEve Rodsky is known for her game-changing book and social movement, Fair Play.  Fair Play is a groundbreaking system that uses organizational management strategies to more fairly divide unpaid labor in the home. In today’s episode, Eve joins us for a conversation about gender equality, mental health, creativity, and her most rec...2023-10-2651 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 89: Self-Abandonment, Part 2In today’s episode, we continue talking about self-abandonment, briefly reviewing the 8 types of self-abandonment (i.e., people-pleasing, not speaking truth, not trusting yourself, over-working/uber-productivity, the quest for self-improvement, checking boxes/collecting gold stars or external validation, numbing out, and getting stuck in your head or ruminating). We talk about how the various types of self-abandonment overlap with one another and share personal examples of which ones we default to in our own lives. We also share several examples of how easily and unconsciously self-abandonment appears in our lives and those of our clients, in big and small wa...2023-10-1229 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 88: Self-Abandonment, Part 1In today’s episode, we talk about self-abandonment, all the ways in which we “go outside of ourselves” or lose touch with ourselves in order to determine how to think, feel, or behave. We discuss the 8 types of self-abandonment including people-pleasing, not speaking truth, not trusting yourself, over-working/uber-productivity, the quest for self-improvement, checking boxes/collecting gold stars (external validation), numbing out, and getting stuck in your head (ruminating). We share our own struggles with self-abandonment and provide lots of examples to help you identify where you fall in the self-abandonment spectrum. Stay tuned for part 2 in which we discus...2023-09-2832 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 87: Being Human with Taylor White Moffitt“Rarely is there ever a hack. It’s me learning to relate to the thing differently that creates more peace and ease.” -TaylorTaylor White Moffitt is one of our most favorite teachers and mentors. She’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and yoga instructor who lives in Boulder, Colorado, and she’s incredibly gifted at helping humans live with more peace, ease, and joy. During our conversation we explore her three cornerstones for transformation: mindfulness, movement, and mental health. We talk about the power of embodiment and experiential practices. We also speak more specifically about midlife, including...2023-09-1443 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 86: You and ThemToday we talk about the ongoing work of truly seeing our kids as individual humans apart and independent of us. We talk about the separation and individuation that typically happens in adolescence AND the process of tending to the parts of ourselves that are separate from our identities as parents. In this episode, we talk about the different ways that we attempt to nurture our kids’ identities apart from us and, at the same time, develop our own identities apart from our kids.  Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badassrebellion/2023-08-3127 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 85: Boosting your Creative Energy in MidlifeJoin Avery, Jamie, & Lucy as they discuss their experiences with creativity in midlife. We share our self-perceptions about our creative abilities (or lack thereof), what gets in the way of creativity, and why creativity is an important part of life. We also talk about the “dark side” of creativity, the relationship between creativity and mental illness, and several strategies to bolster our creative energy in midlife. 2023-08-1728 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 84: Not EnoughnessWe believe that “not enoughness” plays a fundamental role in both our suffering and our humanity. In this episode, we take a deep dive into not enoughness, exploring how it shows up in people’s lives, the impact it has, and its ripple effects. We share our own experiences with not enoughness, and we give the inside scoop about how we navigate not enoughness, both in our clinical work and in our personal lives. We highlight factors that tend to make not enoughness louder, as well as ways to settle/quiet this part of ourselves. 2023-08-0330 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 83: Sandwich BurnoutToday we’re talking about sandwiches! Being a part of the sandwich generation that is! The sandwich generation refers to middle-aged adults who are simultaneously raising kids and supporting their aging parents. An estimated 11 million caregivers provide unpaid care to an adult while also caring for kids (Pew Research Center 2019 research report). With all of this care-taking, no wonder we are stressed and can experience burnout! We discuss the physical, emotional, and behavioral signs of burnout and common stressors of being a sandwich generation caregiver. We also cover important tips and tools for managing caregiver stress and burnout. 2023-07-2031 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 82: Summer VampiresIt’s summer time!!! In today’s episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery talk about summer vampires – the experiences and expectations that can suck the joy right out of summer. We talk about the trap of overplanning, under planning, and not being intentional about our time. We share our own experiences with decision fatigue, difficulty remaining present, and having rigid expectations. We then cover tips and tricks to help you have a more enjoyable summer and fend off these summer vampires such as having conversations with the family about expectations before the summer kicks off, allowing everyone to explore their intere...2023-07-0629 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 81: Midlife bodies and eating with Debra BenfieldWe have an amazing episode for you today! We interview Debra Benfield, a registered dietitian and certified eating disorder specialist whose work is focused on pro-aging and body liberation. We talk about the messages women receive about their bodies and their relationships with food, including the influence of an “ageist diet culture” on both how we feel about ourselves and the behaviors we try to adopt. Explored the role of fear and desire to control, and discussed factors that might be underneath this. Debra shares about normal bodily changes we might experience during midlife, as well as some nutrition guid...2023-06-2254 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 80: How to cope when you're about to lose your sh*tIn today’s episode we talk about our experiences of being on the brink of losing our shit. We explore interpersonal dynamics and situations that trigger this reaction. We explore the difference between losing our shit and handling our shit. We discuss our internal experiences, as well as how we show up in the world when we’re in this state of mind (or really this “state of feeling” is a better descriptor!). Top 3 things we’re learning about how to cope with difficult people/situations: Be well resourced. It’s hard to cope when we’re exhausted, de...2023-06-0833 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 79: Summer SeriesIn this episode, we’re giving you a sneak peak at our upcoming summer series! Starting in June, we’re holding monthly workshops (in-person and online) to talk about some of our favorite topics related to midlife. Our June Workshop is going to focus on reorienting and rebelling. We’ll talk about what is really happening to our brains, bodies, and relationships during midlife and the menopause transition. We’ll also spend some time debunking some of the messed up messages we’ve received about the midlife years. We’re calling our July Workshop “The Reckoning.” It...2023-05-2519 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 78: Midlife Bites with Jen MannWe are delighted to have the New York Times bestselling author, Jen Mann, join us for this episode. She is a Gen X Badass, and her book Midlife Bites puts words to what so many of us experience in our 40s and beyond. We absolutely love her vulnerability, hilarity, and use of the word “amazeballs”. Our conversation today covers everything from Jen’s adventures in standup comedy to poise pads. We hope you have as much fun listening to this one as we had recording it! Links: https://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/https://jenmann.substack...2023-05-1851 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 77: Top Truths about Midlife with Sara SmeatonJoin Jamie, Lucy, and Avery as they talk with certified coach (CPCC), Sara Smeaton, about all things midlife! Sara is a badass midlifer who offers one-on-one and group coaching as well as workshops helping women discover their power, purpose, and possibility. We discuss what Sara refers to as our midlife Power YearsTM, in which we have the experience AND the possibility to create the life we want. We also explore six truths about midlife and share our experiences of being in this life stage. This is a great conversation, not to be missed!Links:2023-05-1152 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 76: Midlife Proofing your RelationshipIt’s no secret that romantic relationships change over time. After decades of running a household and raising children, many couples find more space and stillness in midlife, which might both terrify us and enable growth and (re)connection. In today’s episode, we focus on “midlife proofing” your relationship. We discuss the normal shifts that occur over time in partnerships, and we explore how to proactively prioritize and strengthen the connection with your significant other. * Content appropriate for all ages and relationship stages. It’s never too early or too late to prioritize connection! Re...2023-05-0433 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 75: GraduationsIt’s graduation season! Today we talk about our own experiences with graduations and what we can do as parents to help this graduation season go as well as possible (for our kids and for us too!) We’ll touch on the various feelings that can come up for graduates and their parents, and we’ll also discuss some strategies to help gear up for this transition. 2023-04-2729 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 74: When Teens StruggleParenting teens is hard! It can be especially difficult to differentiate “normal teenage angst” from more serious issues that require outside help. In this episode, we talk about the typical stressors and issues that come up for teens as well as behaviors that are cause for concern. We touch on various types of support available and what situations call for different types of care. We cover some tips on how to talk to and support your teen and how to take care of yourself when your teen struggles. 2023-04-1332 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEpisode 73: Goal setting with Jessica Grant, part 2In the second half of our conversation with Jessica Grant, we get into the nitty gritty of goal setting. Jessica walks us through her system for creating and tracking goals. We discuss the importance of creating specific and measurable goals, talking through several examples to help bring the concepts to life. We explore barriers to goal setting, with particular focus of what gets in the way of either making or following through with goals. We each share about our own personal goals, and provide tips and tricks for leveraging goal setting in your life. Do try this a...2023-03-3034 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 72: Goal setting with Jessica Grant, part 1It’s so exciting! We’re doing our first interview today! Your Badass Trio is joined by Jessica Grant, master goal setter. In part 1 (of our two part conversation), we get to know Jessica personally before diving into an overview of our topic. We define goal setting, differentiating goals from tasks, values, intentions, and hopes. We also highlight the following key principles to consider as you navigate your own goals: what you’re going to prioritizeimportance of being flexiblekey element of tuning-in (self awareness and tuning inward rather than defaulting to externals)focus on the process (rather than getting...2023-03-1639 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 71: Joy in MidlifeThere are a lot of things that aren’t amazing about midlife, but we actually think this stage of life kicks ass. Here are 10 things we love about being middle aged:We give a fuck about less. We’ve let go of some things and that brings us joy. We’ve seen some shit. We’ve lived enough life to know that “this too shall pass”.We listen to our intuition. More focus on and comfort with our own knowing. We aren’t for everyone and that’s ok. Less people-pleasing and living small. We’ve been around long enough to have s...2023-03-0228 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 70: It's ALL the rage!Join the bitchfest in this episode, as Jamie, Lucy & Avery discuss the experiences of irritability, anger, and rage which are common emotions in midlife. We talk about all of the contributing factors during this period of life which can contribute to this hot emotional climate such as hormones, physical shifts, life transitions and stressors, and imbalances in relationships. We discuss messages that women have received regarding the feeling and expression of anger such as women are supposed to be “nice” and anger is “scary and to be feared.” We talk about the variability of irritability and share some of the rece...2023-02-1632 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 69: Brain Fog (in midlife and beyond)Today we’re talking about brain fog, which the three of us have PLENTY of right now (so it’s a very pertinent and relevant topic in our lives)! We start by defining what brain fog is and describing how it shows up in our lives, sharing stories of our forgetfulness, word finding difficulties, and sluggish thinking. We highlight some of the main causes of brain fog, exploring how many of these interact with each other. We discuss the impact of brain fog, particularly on our identity, sense of self, and overall functioning. We conclude that there’s power in bei...2023-02-0229 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 68: Midlife -- Where's the Map?In today’s episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery discuss the midlife experience. We explore whether it's an actual crisis or whether it’s more about navigating a lot of transitions. We discuss what differentiates this period of life from other times in life marked by well-defined rituals and a map of sorts. We share our experiences with bodily changes, empty nesting, job and marital changes, care-giving of aging parents, etc. We also talk about the positive sides of being in midlife such as feeling more settled, doing less striving, and having more space for “want to’s” vs. “have to’s.”  We t...2023-01-1926 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 67: Stories We Tell OurselvesIn this episode, we talk about the stories we tell ourselves. In intimate relationships, it can be incredibly helpful to notice the stories that we tell ourselves and share them with our loved ones. Often, we’ll find that our stories are inaccurate and talking about them can improve communication and trust with our partners. We don’t just tell ourselves stories about other people - we also tell ourselves stories about ourselves! Sometimes these stories can be helpful (ie: I can’t drink caffeine after noon or I’ll be up all night) and sometimes they can limit our expe...2023-01-0527 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 66: People PleasingToday’s episode focuses on people pleasing. We explore what it is, including how it manifests in our own lives and in the lives of our clients. We delineate some of the pros and cons of this behavior (as there are both ups and downs to showing up this way!), as well as the warning signs that you might be a people pleaser. Some common warning signs include: always saying yes, having a hard time saying no, a pattern of resentment, pretending (to be someone you’re not), over-apologizing, not sharing how you truly feel (withholding, being avoidant), and taki...2022-12-2231 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 65: Time Off, On, Away, and InThe plan was to take a deep dive into “time off,” but as we got to talking, we realized that it’s hard to isolate this aspect of how we spend our time. So we broadened the conversation to the ways we spend our time, with specific focus on time off, time on, time away, time in(ward), and half-ass time (when we’re in no man’s land/purgatory of time, so to speak). We strategize about how we can spend our time over the holidays, connecting this back to our boundaries, knowing what we want/need, and intentiona...2022-12-0824 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 64: Time to Celebrate!Happy holidays! Today’s episode focuses on various ways we can celebrate.. We explore the what and why of our favorite holiday celebrations. We discuss some of the ways we can celebrate everyday - the big things AND the small things. We also differentiate when celebrating might slip into overindulgence and entitlement. We then talk about things that get in the way of celebrating such as stress, depression, and anxiety and how celebrating can be used as a tool to boost your mood. As we’re in the thick of the holiday season, we encourage our listeners to focus on t...2022-11-2425 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 63: Expectations (especially Holiday Expectations!)In today’s episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery talk about how expectations come up for us in our lives. We notice that expectations can have a negative effect on our daily experiences and can impact special occasions like the holidays. We talk about how expectations can sneak up on us and threaten to “ruin” our experiences. We discuss how expectations feel in our body and some strategies we have found helping in managing our expectations. We talk about the pressure to have the “best holiday ever” and how difficult it can be when the holiday experience doesn’t live up to our ex...2022-11-1026 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 62: Comfort ZonesIn today’s episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery discuss comfort zones. Comfort zones get some pretty negative press, but great things can happen when we have a comfortable place to land where we can rest and feel secure, confident, and safe. Comfort zones can be, well, comfortable, but they can also become constraining. There are drawbacks to doing things as they have always been done before. Even though it can feel scary at first, pushing ourselves beyond the comfort zone can really be exciting and fun. Because life doesn’t always let us remain in our comfort zones, it is a...2022-10-2722 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 61: Likes, follows, & shares --- oh my!In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about the pros, cons, and boundaries around social media and technology. We briefly discuss our own love/hate relationships with social media and tech. We then explore the pros and cons of this dimension of our lives and how it affects our mental health. We offer suggestions and clues regarding when stricter boundaries around social media and tech might be needed. Lastly, we offer tips and tricks to help us keep our social media and technology usage in check. Do Try This At Home:Set time l...2022-10-1331 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 60: Self-Care: More than a Face MaskSettle in and pop on your oxygen mask, as today’s episode is all about taking care of yourself. The Inspiration from the Couch ladies walk you through it all: what is self-care, why it’s important, and what gets in the way. Instead of adding more self-care “tasks” to your to-do list, we frame our discussion as giving yourself permission to prioritize yourself. We walk you through our top 5 permission slips: Permission to Say NoPermission to Ask for HelpPermission to Hit the Easy ButtonPermission to Slow Down, Rest, and SavorPermission to be Kind to YourselfDo T...2022-09-2935 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 59: Vulnerability HangoversLucy, Jamie, and Avery dive into “vulnerability hangovers,” which is what we experience after putting ourselves out in the world in some way (i.e., after we are vulnerable!). We define the common symptoms, including exhaustion, shame, regret, turtle mode (desire to avoid, withdraw), distraction, overthinking, overanalyzing, tenderness, headache, and insecurity. We explore how this comes up in our clinical work, as well as in our own personal lives. Discussed factors that influence whether or not we have a vulnerability hangover, as well as individual differences in this experience. Lastly, we talk about how to tend to ourselves during thes...2022-09-1526 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 58: Let's BeginIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about the concept of Beginner’s Mind. We briefly discuss the characteristics of having a beginner’s mind, as well as things that get in the way such as ego, being the expert, comparison-making, and habits. We share some of our most humbling experiences as beginners. We then talk about how a beginner's mind can be helpful in our daily lives and how “not having it all figured out” can create connection and closeness. We also share the importance of asking for help and having a sense of humor about being a beginn...2022-09-0128 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 57: The Easy ButtonToday, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the benefits of taking the easy way out. We talk about how we inadvertently make things more difficult for ourselves by over-analyzing, over-controlling, people-pleasing, over-planning, and simply forgetting that doing less is an option.  We also review strategies that have helped us to notice when we are falling into these habits and make different choices instead. Do try this at home:Create/choose a physical reminder to invite more ease into your daily life. Whether it’s an actual easy button, a post-it note on your...2022-08-1831 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 56: Summer Vacation StressIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of vacationing. We briefly discuss the differences in vacation policy between the U.S. and other countries, share some of our own vacation plans, and talk about all the stressors associated with planning, traveling, and being on vacation. We then talk about post-vacation depression and share tips on how to minimize stress so that you can enjoy your vacation to the fullest, Do Try This At Home:If possible, plan a transition period before and after your vacation so t...2022-08-0430 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 55: DialecticsIn today’s episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about the concept of “Dialectics,” which is holding two opposite viewpoints that are simultaneously true. This entails leaning heavily into both-and thinking, rather than getting trapped in either-or thinking. We talk through several “dialectical dilemmas,” including: Acceptance (validation) vs change (problem solving)Emotion Mind vs Reasonable Mind (which equals Wise Mind)Rigidity vs flexibilityLie the Fuck Down vs Get the Fuck UpBeing self-less vs prioritizing ourselvesSpeaking truth vs being kindWe also explore some of the factors that make dialectics hard, as well as the benefits of approaching life from a...2022-07-2129 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 54: Roe v WadeIn this episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the Supreme Court’s recent decision to overturn Roe vs. Wade. We focus on strategies to manage the emotional distress that this decision has caused for many of us specifically in regard to politically charged conversations, general empathy and concern for others and the future, and the personal relevance of the decision. We touch on strategies to foster compassion as we each navigate our own response to the decision and our interactions with others. Do try this at home:Know that you are not alone. This is a dis...2022-07-0727 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 53: EssentialismInspiration from the Couch book club returns! Today we are diving into Essentialism by Greg McKeown. The tagline of this book is “the disciplined pursuit of less.” We start by defining both essentialism and nonessentialism, comparing and contrasting these two ways of being. We then explore the core mindset of an essentialist, including choice, discernment, and the reality of tradeoffs. Lastly we talk about the 3-step process for becoming an essentialist: explore, eliminate, and execute.  Do Try This at HomeRead the book! We all LOVED it! Shift your mindset to acknowledge that you can only do...2022-06-2327 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 52: Waffles and SpaghettiWaffles and spaghetti are both delicious, but we aren’t talking about food today. We're talking about personality styles. “Waffles” are more compartmentalized with each task fitting into its own little separate square, and “spaghetti” is a more aerial view of interconnected parts. We touch on problem solving strategies and some communication skills that have been helpful to us as we have interacted with the “spaghetti” and “waffle” personalities in our lives.Do try this at home:Appreciate your own personality style and acknowledge ways to use your strengths to manage your weaknesses. Take a look at what proc...2022-06-0920 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 51: You are not Your JobIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about work. We briefly discuss the impact of The Great Resignation on the world of work, share some of our early work histories and what moved us into the world of psychology, and what a “work identity” is. We then talk about the drawbacks of shaping one’s entire identity around career and offer self-reflection questions to help determine whether one is “enmeshed” with career, We also share tips on how to disentangle your self-worth from what you do for work. Do Try This At Home:Fund your t...2022-05-2629 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEp 50: DistractedIn today’s episode Lucy shares about her biggest current struggle: feeling distracted. She asks Avery and Jamie for guidance on how she can intervene to find more peace and presence. We explore how distraction shows up, both for Lucy specifically and for many of us more generally. We talk about potential culprits for distraction, as well as dive into some specific strategies to help settle our brains and nervous systems so we can be more present in the moment.  Do Try This at Home: Read Deep Work by Cal Newport, and start setting aside time for...2022-05-1232 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 49: Teen FriendshipsOne topic that we can’t seem to stop talking about these days is adolescent relationships: with our patients, with our friends who are parents, and at home with our own teens and pre-teens. As a parent, it can be difficult to figure out when to step in, when to step back, and when to step alongside our adolescents as they navigate social dynamics. Recent situations such as the pandemic and the increased reliance on technology for social communication have made connection and interaction even more complicated. In today’s episode, we touch on some strategies that we have foun...2022-04-2833 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 48: Making FriendsIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about friendships! We discuss changing trends in our friendship networks over time, why friendships are important for our physical and mental health, and what to do if we are spread too thin. We also share tips on how to develop new friendships and deepen current ones.Do Try This at Home:Do a “friendship inventory” to discover whether you have the bandwidth to take on new friends and to examine whether your current network is healthy and fulfilling. In making new friends, start small. Pay attention to wh...2022-04-1430 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 47: What's SoJamie, Avery, and Lucy are mixing things up for today’s episode! We start with a beautiful reading called What’s So by Werner Erhard. We then offer some journal prompts, and you can pause the podcast to reflect in the moment, or you can hold on to these prompts for later. Finally we discuss our experiences with the nuggets of wisdom from the reading. Feel free to get your journal and a pen ready, so you can take some notes along the way. Journal prompts:What strikes you about the What’s So reading? What interfe...2022-03-3127 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 46: Swimsuit SeasonAvery, Jamie and Lucy get pretty vulnerable in this episode. We each talk about our own experiences with diet culture, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. We review some of our favorite sources of inspiration and information on this topic and talk about a few helpful questions to consider: How much space do thoughts about diet and body size take up in your life? If you were able to clear some of that space, what else would you be thinking about? What do you value? What are your top priorities? At your funeral, what will people remember about you? What do you...2022-03-1727 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 45: Less is MoreIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy begin our 15-part series on Less is More. Just kidding! We discuss consumption and accumulating vs. decluttering and making do with what we have, the pandemic effects on doing less vs. returning to old, hurried habits/behaviors, overcommitting vs. being intentional about commitments, “luxury fever” and how that affects adults and children, and how to utilize savoring to increase pleasant experiences vs. multi-tasking and wishing for more.Do Try This at Home:Clear space for savoring. Pick one thing to declutter and focus on the essential.Write out your sched...2022-03-0332 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 44: Taking Sexy BackAvery, Lucy, and Jamie return for a book club episode to close out our series on relationships. We delve into a book called Taking Sexy Back by Alexandra Solomon. We start with an overview of the book, then discuss our comfort with this topic and messages we’ve received about sex throughout our lives. We share our favorite takeaways from the book, including a framework for sexual self-awareness (i.e., making friends with Your Sexy), how we approach sex (i.e., love versus fear; reasons for engaging), sexual desire (i.e., dual control model; responsive vs spontaneous desire), how bo...2022-02-1732 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 43: Fighting FairIn this episode, we talk about a variety of strategies that help us to fight fair. We start out by going through our “top ten” list: compromising, apologizing and making amends, acknowledging intent and impact, taking one for the team (without keeping score), accessing support from other sources, going to bed angry, taking responsibility, focusing on the issue at hand, listening, and writing it down. Throughout the episode, we review ways that different styles of communication and the various dynamics in relationships can impact conflict. We end this episode with a couple of bonus strategies as well as some ques...2022-02-1035 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 42: Dropping ArmorIn today’s episode, Avery, Jamie, and Lucy explore the armors of expectations, complaints, and demands that show up in relationships. We discuss what makes these armor and how they impact our relationships. We talk about the importance of both identifying what we want and need, as well as being willing to express this to our partners. We then delineate and explore two practices that we can use instead: making requests and creating agreements. Do try this at home: Try using the language of requests and agreements vs. expectations, complaints, and demands. Ask for feedback from your...2022-02-0332 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 41: Healthy Relationships, Part 2Today, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about three key and interconnected ingredients for healthy, romantic relationships -- closeness, connection/emotional intimacy, and friendship. We discuss what it means to be close and connected with your partners, the costs of intimacy, and we give pointers on how to strengthen intimacy and friendship in your romantic relationship.Do try this at home:To foster friendship and connection with your partner, touch base with your partner a few times a day by phone, email, or text. It’s best for these interactions to be supportive, friendly, and engaging rather th...2022-01-2732 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 40: Healthy Relationships, Part 1In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy begin our podcast series on relationships. We start by reviewing changes in romantic relationships and how they have evolved across the decades, major reasons individuals divorce, and expectations that are placed on romantic partners. We then explore the love “chapters” in long-term relationships --- early idealization, fall from grace/disillusionment, and committed/authentic love. Lastly, we get personal and share our own love stories and how we’ve navigated these “chapters” of love. Do try this at home:Be mindful and examine the ideas and preconceptions you have about the kind of...2022-01-2032 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 39: Being of ServiceToday we are talking about service to others: Why do we do it? What gets in the way? We discuss the difference between proactive giving and being "voluntold" to give to a certain cause. We also cover intentional giving, protecting boundaries while giving back, and adopting a mindset of serving. We end our conversation by reviewing different ways that we can get involved in our communities and the advantages of giving back. Do try this at home:Tap into your why. What are your values and how can you incorporate these into your acts o...2022-01-1329 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 38: ComfortLight a candle, grab a blanket, and get in your pj’s! In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss the importance of comfort. We talk about Hygge---the Danish word used to acknowledge a special feeling or moment which involves coziness and comfort. We share what we personally find comforting. We discuss possible downsides to comfort as well as ineffective comfort strategies. We also touch on the topic of “comfort food” and getting outside of one’s “comfort zone.” Do try this at home:Do an inventory on what you find comforting. Give yourself and others permission to...2022-01-0632 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 37: New Year's ReflectionsThis week we start our conversation touching on the practice of setting new year’s resolutions. We have some feelings about this tradition! We talk about the difference between resolutions – which often fail for a variety of reasons – and goals that are more specific and reachable. We end this episode with an invitation to scrap resolutions entirely and instead focus on self-compassion and the concept of enoughness: the belief that we are enough just as we are.  Do try this at home:Resist the urge to jump head first into the frenzy of making resolutions and instead...2021-12-3027 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 36: WonderToday’s episode begins with Jamie, Lucy, and Avery exploring wonder: instances of wonder, how we experience it in the body, the benefits of wonder, and some of the cultural, personal, and developmental factors that impact our experiences of wonder. We identify 6 facets of wonder: openness, curiosity, bewilderment, hope, connection, and admiration, and we explore how creating “packs” in our lives can help facilitate wonder. Do try this at home: Incorporate time in your week to slow down and be present. Do less to allow space to connect with wonder. Intentionally tap into your 7-year-old self.2021-12-2329 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 35: Hustle and BustleIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy think back to the holiday season last year and discuss one of the things that we missed most: the “hustle and bustle.” We talk about being intentional in keeping the fun parts of the hustle and bustle this year and dropping the not-so-fun aspects of the holiday rush to preserve our mental health. Do try this at home: Enjoy the hustle and bustle. Let the parts you don’t enjoy go. Incorporate flexibility in your activities.Practice self-compassion during the holidays (and the rest of the year too)The “Not T...2021-12-1626 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 34: JoyToday Avery, Jamie, and Lucy talk about all things related to Joy. We explore what, exactly, joy is, how we experience joy, barriers to joy, and opportunities for increasing joy in our lives. To help us better understand this topic, we surveyed people with the following 5 questions: How do you define joy?What are some characteristics of joy? Describe your experiences of joy?What brings you joy in your life?Tell me your most joy filled memory. What interferes with joy?Do try this at home: Intentionally notice joy. Be mindful and aware of things in you...2021-12-0931 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 33: Mental Health and the HolidaysFor many people the holiday season is not always the most wonderful time of year. According to a recent survey, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that approximately 24% of people with a diagnosed mental illness find that the holidays make their condition “a lot” worse and 40% “somewhat” worse. Join Avery, Jamie, and Lucy in their discussion regarding how and why the holiday season can affect one’s mental health. We discuss how stress can arise from a variety of sources including loneliness, hectic schedules, overstimulation, high expectations, comparison-making, personal grief, economic concerns, separation from and/or conflict with famil...2021-12-0228 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 32: TraditionsIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss the importance of family traditions. We discuss the characteristics of family traditions (i.e., significance, repetition, and coordination). We talk about the importance of traditions in providing predictability, connection, identity, and as a way to communicate values. We also share how the various types of family rituals/traditions (i.e., connection, love, and community) can be incorporated into our lives and we give examples of our own family traditions. Lastly, we talk about paying attention to the three phases of traditions (i.e., transition, enactment, exit) in order to strengthen family...2021-11-2529 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 31: Intentional Holiday SeasonIt’s time for the holidays! Join Lucy, Avery, and Jamie as we kick off our holiday series with an episode on how to create an intentional holiday season. We explore common problems and complaints about the holidays, identifying factors that detract from a more peaceful and meaningful experience. We discuss how to be more intentional this holiday season, as well as the practice of being curious about what lights us up, what depletes up, and what we want to change to better align with our intentions. We then explore how to increase peace and ease while decreasing exhaustion an...2021-11-1829 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 30: Being of PowerToday we wrap up our discussion of the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. We have spent the last 3 episodes taking a deep dive into 3 specific practices: Be a Yes, Give it up to Get Empty, and Embrace Naked Reality. In today’s episode, we will explore some of the highlights from the remaining 6 practices Baptiste writes about in his guide to igniting an empowered life. You do not need to have listened to any of the episodes that came before this, nor do you need to have read the book to follow along or benefit fr...2021-11-1124 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 29: Embrace Naked RealityIn today’s episode we discuss the concept, Embrace Naked Reality, from the book, Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Embracing naked reality refers to challenging the meaning making that we continuously do. Experiences that we have on a daily basis don’t really have an emotional charge to them --- it’s the meaning or the stories that we give to events or interactions that create that emotional charge. Jamie, Lucy, and Avery share their own examples of emotionally charged interpretations/stories vs. the “naked reality” of each situation. We explore what it feels like to practice taking off the fi...2021-11-0426 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 28: Give it Up to Get EmptyIn today’s episode we continue our in-depth dive into the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. The book offers 9 practices to ignite an empowered life. Last week we talked about the principle of “Be a Yes,” and today we are focusing on the practice of “Give it Up to Get Empty.” We talk about the excess “bricks” that we carry around, that weigh us down, and that interfere with us being our authentic selves. We identify the following bricks: fear, expectations, fault/blame, stories/interpretation, control, and goal-driven, get-it-right, be-right, do-it-perfectly-or-not-at-all attitudes. We share Baptiste’s 3 step process for drop...2021-10-2829 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 27: Be a YesToday’s episode marks the beginning of a four-part series. In this installment, we do a deep dive into one of the topics that we found to be most helpful and relevant in the book Being of Power by Baron Baptiste. Avery, Lucy, and Jamie explore “Being a Yes” or “being confident in your ability to turn difficulty into possibility.” We talk about what can get in the way of “being a yes” and focus on a step-by-step strategy to "Be a Yes."Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this epis...2021-10-2129 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 26: Perfectionism, Take 2In this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy continue their discussion on perfectionism, which often stems from the belief that we are not enough or not worthy. We discuss conditional statements for worth that implicate perfectionism and explore all the sneaky ways that perfectionism can appear in our lives including school, work, parenting, intimate relationships, our environment, and physical appearance. We then offer several strategies to combat perfectionism.  Do try this at home:Make a cost/benefit analysis of perfectionistic behaviors and prioritize. Let ourselves experiment.Be aware of your self-talk and your tendencies. Do you use wo...2021-10-1431 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 25: Maybe you Should Talk to SomeoneOur fifth book club is on Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb. In this episode we provide a brief overview of the book, discuss our own paths to becoming psychologists, talk about which characters we resonate with the most, and explain what we think are the most important aspects of the therapeutic relationship. Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. Do try this at home:Read the book! It gives a window into what therapy can look like.Practice opening up an...2021-10-0729 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 24: Treatment SeekingIn this episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about the mental health field and the process of seeking professional support. We discuss signs of when we might need outside assistance, and we differentiate professional support from friendship. We share about the mental health landscape: types of providers, levels of care, and types of interventions found on an outpatient basis. We demystify the process of choosing and getting settled in with a therapist, and we also examine investment in and barriers to treatment. Lastly, we debunk common myths about seeking professional support.  Do try this at ho...2021-09-3031 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 23: PerfectionismIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie discuss perfectionism---the need to appear or be perfect. We discuss the various ways that perfectionism manifests as a trait and in behaviors,  share some of our own tendencies towards perfectionism, provide examples of perfectionism across the lifespan and in various activities, and discuss the downfalls and mental health consequences of perfectionism. Do try this at home:Be intentional about doing an activity “half-assed.” Practice engaging in activities for joy and connection.Try new things and have a “beginner’s mindset” stance.2021-09-2330 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 22: Don't be an AssholeMost of us are in easy agreement that we should refrain from being assholes to others, yet we often speak to ourselves in harsh, critical, and self-aggressive ways. In today’s episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy explore the ways that people (including us!) are assholes to themselves, both overtly and subconsciously. We talk about how we often speak to ourselves so differently than we would speak to a friend or even a stranger. We identify various Inner Voices: The Critic, The Excuse Maker, The Victim, The Worrier, The Caretaker, and The Enforcer. We describe each of these and examine ho...2021-09-1628 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 21: Cognitive LoadIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about Cognitive Load. Cognitive load refers to the cognitive energy associated with planning and managing tasks.  We talk about our own experiences with cognitive load and offer some validation that the cognitive load of various roles can become quite heavy and overwhelming at times. Next, we discuss how we assess for cognitive load and attempt to distribute it in an equitable way.  We end this episode with a discussion of strategies to cope with burnout and ways we can access support from others. Do try this at home:How...2021-09-0928 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 20: The Art of GatheringIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. We discuss different topics that are brought up in the book such as the importance of clearly identifying the purpose of why we gather and being intentional about who we include in certain gatherings, where we host them, and how we show up as hosts.  As we review the book, we talk about some of our own gatherings and different ways that this book might inspire our future gatherings. Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjo...2021-09-0230 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 19: NostalgiaIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie discuss nostalgia---the sentimentality for the past, typically for a particular period or place with positive associations. We explore the purpose, pros, and cons of nostalgia, share some of our own nostalgic memories, discuss how nostalgia gets triggered through music, fragrance, and mood states, talk about “retro” things, and discuss how nostalgia can be used as a positive coping tool for self and others.Do try this at home:Try out intentionally using nostalgia to shift your mood.Be mindful of the joy and sadness associated with nostalgia.If you fi...2021-08-2627 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 18: ChangeIn episode 18, Lucy, Avery, and Jamie focus on change, specifically on how to cope with life transitions and changing circumstances in our lives (including both “positive” and “negative” change). We identify some common sources of change, share about our own experiences with and responses to change, and discuss resistance to change. We also explore our favorite strategies for coping with change.Do try this at home:Have compassion for yourself and nurture yourself with good self-care. (Care for yourself as you would care for someone else.)Be mindful of your self-talk. “I am, I can, I will, I do...2021-08-1929 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 17: GratitudeIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about gratitude! We discuss what gratitude entails, why it matters, and benefits of gratitude (physically, emotionally, and socially). We also talk about what gets in the way of gratitude, share personal examples of who and what we’re grateful for, talk about disingenuous gratitude, explore the influences of media and consumerism on gratitude, and discuss ways to incorporate more gratitude practices into our lives. Lastly, we encourage our listeners to engage in the #fuckingthankful challenge with us! Do try this at home: Ask yourself, “What is there...2021-08-1229 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 16: Speaking TruthIn today’s episode, Avery, Lucy, and Jamie talk about speaking the truth. We start our conversation by talking about what happens to us physically and emotionally when we don’t tell the truth. Even small seemingly insignificant lies can impact how we feel about ourselves and how we show up in our relationships with others, but the desire to please or keep the peace can interfere with telling the truth. We talk about how we determine when truth needs to be spoken in our own lives and how truth can be spoken in a direct and compassionate way. ...2021-08-0529 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 15: The F*ck It DietOur third book club episode is on The F*ck It Diet by Caroline Dooner. In this episode we provide an overview of the book and discuss key takeaways that resonated most with each of us (e.g., trust your body, the crisis/famine state we put our bodies in when we diet, the power of making all foods legal). We share about our own relationships with food and our bodies. We also debrief on our #liethefuckdown challenge, inspired by Dooner’s recommendation to lie down for 10 minutes/day. Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is...2021-07-2929 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 14: AgingIn this episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about getting older! We reflect on what it’s been like for us personally as we go through our middle age stage of life---physically, emotionally, and socially. We discuss society’s view of aging including some of the negative stereotypes associated with aging and how many of us have internalized negative messages about aging. We also explore resistance to aging versus embracing aging, and share our own fears and excitement about getting older. Do try this at home:Be mindful of what we want for ourselves as we...2021-07-2227 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 13: CompassionCompassion (and more specifically self-compassion) is THE Secret Sauce in thriving and in living with peace and ease. Join Lucy, Jamie, and Avery as we talk about why compassion is so important, our experiences with compassion, barriers to compassion, and how we can practice integrating self-compassion into our lives.  In this episode we discuss:What is compassion? And what is the opposite of compassion? (Spoiler alert: the opposite of compassion is self-judgment/self-aggression!)Principles of compassionOur experiences with compassionBarriers to self-compassionPractices that facilitate compassion Do try this at home:Try a “...2021-07-1529 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 12: CuriosityCuriosity is living from a state of inquiry. There is a closing off that happens when we feel like we have to have it all figured out or when we feel like we have to be the expert. Curiosity fosters openness and acceptance and is an important tool when engaging in the present and in thinking about the future. Curiosity can give us the space to learn and grow. In this episode, we talk about how to foster curiosity, what can interfere with curiosity, and how curiosity can help us to connect to ourselves and one another. 2021-07-0823 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 11: AnxietyAnxiety disorders affect approximately 18% of the population. Apart from diagnosed anxiety disorders, anxiety symptoms affect most, if not all, of us from time to time.  Anxiety isn’t all bad. The ability to look ahead and avoid negative consequences is very helpful and keeps us safe. However, worry is not always helpful and sometimes just causes emotional discomfort. Many situations can cause an increase in anxiety (e.g., the recent pandemic experience and flying on airplanes). Anxiety can affect our functioning and keep us out of the present. In this episode, we discuss the physical and cognitive symptoms of anx...2021-07-0127 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 10: UntamedOur second book club episode is on Untamed by Glennon Doyle. In this episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery explore Glennon’s 4 Keys to Freedom: 1) Feel it All, 2) Be Still and Know, 3) Dare to Imagine, and 4) Build and Burn. We also highlight our favorite nuggets of wisdom about parenting that Glennon shares in Untamed. Note: No prior reading/knowledge of this book is required to enjoy and benefit from this episode. In this episode we discuss:Key 1: Feel it All {Pain vs suffering; how we avoid our feelings; how to befriend our feelings}Key 2: Be Stil...2021-06-2427 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 9: Asking for SupportIn today’s episode, Avery, Jamie, and Lucy talk about accessing support. We sometimes get the message that we should be able to do everything on our own, but we all need help sometimes. We talk about how it feels to ask for help, the barriers to asking for help, and the benefits of giving and receiving support. In this episode we discuss:What happens when we don’t ask for help and how asking for help can impact our relationshipsHow it feels to ask for help and what gets in the way of asking for help...2021-06-1725 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 8: Saying NoIn today’s episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the importance and difficulties of saying no. We explore how to make more room in our lives for things that truly matter by saying one of the bravest words---no. We share anecdotes of our own struggles and successes in this area, review a “personal bill of rights” which provides rationale for saying no, and role play assertive and not so assertive ways of saying no.In this episode we discuss: How we have the right to say no to harmful, hurtful, or toxic things and relationships, as well as...2021-06-1026 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 7: Do it Afraid“Do it Afraid” is one of our favorite mantras, and in today’s episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy explore what this phrase means and how to put it into practice in our lives.  We talk about ways that we play it safe and ways that we take risks, as well as the pros and cons of each. We share about how to support ourselves while doing things that align with our goals/values but that terrify us nonetheless. In this episode we discuss:Fear we heed vs fear we challengeHow we Play it SafeWhy we might want to...2021-06-0325 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 6: ValidationIn today’s episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery talk about all things related to validation. We think of validation as a fundamental communication and healing skill, which, in essence, says “I see you.” There is great power in being seen, heard, and understood just as we are. We explore what validation is and what it is not. (HINT: validation is not approval, agreement, reassurance, judgment, or problem solving.) We share common ways that we invalidate ourselves and others, and we also talk about how to validate. We illustrate all of this with some concrete examples. In this episode...2021-05-2728 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 5: The Trance of ScarcityIn our first book club episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy discuss The Trance of Scarcity by Victoria Castle. We talk about Victoria’s brilliant metaphor of being “in the Circle” (where you live with flow, abundance, vitality, and ease) versus being “out of the Circle” (where life is defined by a sense of not enough-ness, constriction, urgency, separateness, and depletion). We explore two ways for getting back in the Circle: trading up our Stories and tuning into our Somas (a fancy phrase for physical bodies). Throughout the episode, we share about our personal experiences to help bring these concepts to life in...2021-05-2028 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 4: Wise MindAvery, Lucy, and Jamie chat about Wise Mind (aka, “Intuition” or “Knowing”) in the fourth episode. We discuss how to tap into one’s inner wisdom through incorporating emotions, thoughts, and the body, rather than over-relying on external sources to make effective decisions. We share stories of our own struggles connecting with Wise Mind and what we have learned to overcome these barriers.In this episode we discuss:Definitions of Wise Mind, Emotion Mind, and Reasonable Mind, as well as providing personal examples of eachGuiding principles of connecting with Wise MindBarriers to tapping into Wise MindHow Wise Mind...2021-05-1322 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 3: PlayWarning: this episode is coming in hot with a few unexpected F-bombs. Be prepared! Or at least pop in your earbuds if you have small kids loitering or skip to the 52 second mark to avoid altogether! In today’s episode we talk about the importance of play. As adults, it can be hard to connect with “nonproductive” activity such as play. Jamie, Lucy, and Avery share their own experiences with play, discuss benefits of play, and encourage listeners to experiment with play to connect more fully with themselves and the world, both personally and professionally.  We don’t stop pl...2021-05-0628 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 2: The Pandemic ExperienceJoin Jamie, Lucy, and Avery for an episode on The Pandemic Experience, recorded in April of 2021. As we look back over the last year, we reflect on our personal journeys and what we have noticed from a professional standpoint in our work as psychologists. We talk about the strategies that have helped us cope with challenges this year and the lessons we hope to hold onto going forward. In this episode we discuss: The pandemic experience over the past yearWhat we have noticed personally and professionallyNaming what's soDifferent aspects of the pandemic experience that have caused st...2021-05-0325 minInspiration from the CouchInspiration from the CouchEP 1: Welcome to Inspiration from the CouchThis first episode introduces you to Drs. Avery Hoenig, Jamie Wilson, and Lucy Smith, the creators and co-hosts of the Inspiration from the Couch podcast. As both psychologists and moms, they have created this podcast to share the pearls of wisdom that they have found transformative in their personal lives and in their professional endeavors. In Episode 1, Avery, Jamie, and Lucy tell you about themselves and about the process of creating Inspiration from the Couch. They also give a sneak peek of what lies ahead for listeners in future episodes.In this episode we discuss: Who w...2021-04-2818 min