Shows
Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereCan We Bring Joy to Doing the Work of DEIB Transformation_August 29, 2021S2:E5: Can We Bring Joy to Doing the Work of DEIB Transformation?Whether it is a systemic pattern of failing to promote people on the basis of their group identity, or an inequitable distribution of services or resources in segregated communities that result in economic violence, or a pattern of brutality that leaves specific communities living in fear of those in authority, pain is usually at the root of the situations that compel institutions to initiate DEIB programs. Focusing exclusively on pain can be exhausting and undermine commitments to sustained effort. Is...
2021-09-011h 05Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereCan Your Organization Change and Stay the Same_Have you ever heard of the glass cliff? One of the biggest obstacles against achieving true DEIB in your organization is the expectation that things can change without actually being different. In this installment of our series on resistance to change, we examine the ways that individuals and organizations resist change by trying to keep things the same while going through the motions of change. We use the glass cliff as an example of how this dynamic works and we also identify the one crucial element that must be present for true, substantive, transformative organizational change to happen.
2021-08-2528 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereHow to Recognize and Avoid Resistance to Change in Your Organization's PoliciesAugust 15, 2021Just Tea Sundays Episode 3: How to Recognize and Avoid Resistance to Change in your Organization’s PoliciesHow is it that a law intended to protect citizens became a tool that allows police officers who use force that is excessive in the opinion of conventional wisdom to be legally absolved of brutality? There are many ways by which an organization can use its policies to resist DEIB change - even unconsciously. In this episode I continue my series on unconscious resistance to DEIB change by looking at how even th...
2021-08-1929 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide Here3 Steps to Creating Inclusion with Your Colleagues and FriendsAugust 8, 2021Just Tea Sundays Episode 2: 3 Steps for Creating Inclusion with your Colleagues and FriendsI was a junior associate at a Wall Street law firm when I experienced my first epiphany about how easy it is to exclude someone on the basis of their identity without even realizing it. In this case, I was part of doing the excluding! My experience opened my eyes to how colleagues can act together to create exclusion without consciously intending to, how we can reinforce exclusion and interpersonal resistance to change once we realize what is happening, and...
2021-08-1636 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereAre YOU The Problem__ Find and Stop Resistance to Change in 3 Easy StepsAugust 1, 2021Just Tea Sundays Episode 1: Are YOU The Problem? Find & Stop Resistance to Change in 3 Easy StepsThe summer of 2020 resounded with impassioned announcements from companies around the United States that roundly denounced George Floyd’s murder, declared solidarity with Black Lives Matter, and promised sweeping change regarding diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging within the organizations. One year later, how much has actually changed in your organization? Are you doing or still performing?Today’s show examines one aspect of what often stands in the way of achieving substantive change around DEIB: Unconscious intrapersonal resi...
2021-08-0838 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereHow to Manage the Pain of Confronting Systemic RacismJuly 25, 2021How to Manage the Pain of Confronting Systemic RacismConfronting systemic racism can be emotionally exhausting. How do you find strength and inspiration while doing the often painful and frustrating work of detaching from racist systems? This week I am delighted to welcome Doris Cheung to Just Lunch Live. Doris is an amazing artist and a psychologist and she will talk with us about her own experiences as an Asian woman in the United States and share with us strategies for managing the pain of confronting systemic racism. Doris holds a doctoral degree...
2021-07-291h 02Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereDiscover Your White Identity_ The Just Dinner ExperienceDiscover Your White Identity: The Just Dinner ExperienceWe have covered a lot of topics on Just Lunch Live (now evolving into Just Tea Sundays) but one we have not addressed directly in a while is, what, exactly does Come Abide Here do? Why is our tagline “Come Hungry/Leave Transformed”? What can Come Abide Here offer you?In this episode I am thrilled to welcome Chris Day to Just Lunch Live's special Sunday edition. Chris is one of our original guests at Come Abide Here’s flagship opportunity, Just Dinner. We will talk about what being...
2021-07-251h 03Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereWhat My Parents Taught Me About Out-Smarting Racism[Please excuse the poor audio quality. Pretending that you are listening to an Edison phonograph might help]. What My Parents Taught Me about Out-Smarting RacismI cannot think of a time when I was not aware of how structural racism affects . . . well . . . everything. I remember knowing, in my earliest memories, that there was an invisible yet definitely material barrier between me and White people and that the system deemed me inferior. There is a hymn we would sing in church asking the Lord to cleanse us from sin. The refrain was, “Now wash me and I sh...
2021-07-181h 18Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereHow to Up-Level Your Allyship with Ivy SummerWhat does it mean for White folk to take allyship a step further? Do you know what it means to move from ally to accomplice? I am delighted to welcome this week’s guest, Ivy Summer, to Just Lunch Live. Ivy is a DEIB expert with a decade of experience who has helped hundreds of people routinely become proactive allies to marginalized and oppressed groups in a multitude of ways. She has coached folks in building a routine in their own business by doing an internal audit on company practices and procedures to make inclusion a co...
2021-07-0832 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereGenuine Partnership for #BLMI am thrilled to welcome to Just Lunch Live Melissa Kiser and Kristina Furi, two amazing people who exemplify what real partnership for racial equity looks like. Melissa and Kristina are co-organizers of #BlackLivesMatter Cortland NY. Join us for what promises to be a fascinating conversation. We will consider why it is important for White people to join Black Lives Matter and reveal the secrets to developing and sustaining a successful partnership of mutual respect and genuine connection between People of Color and White people united in the purpose of achieving true liberty and justice for...
2021-07-0457 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereWhat is Juneteenth to the American White Person_The great Fredrick Douglass was asked to give the Fourth of July oration at Rochester’s Corinthian Hall on July 5, 1852. Noting the paradox of being an escaped slave asked to speak of freedom when he, himself could be returned to enslavement, he asked the question, “What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July?” Douglass’s question introduced a scathing indictment of the hypocrisy that defined the character of the United States as it declared liberty and justice for all while engaged in the massive crime against humanity of enslaving African people and their descendants (not to m...
2021-07-0437 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereUnlearning White Supremacy with Emily RohToday we are delighted to welcome our guest, Emily Roh, to Just Lunch Live. Emily is an antiracist coach and facilitator, and she brings 15+ years of experience in education and human development to her work. As the founder of My Invisible Knapsack, LLC. Emily focuses on helping individuals and organizations heal from internalized white supremacy and reconnect to their humanity. Emily is known for being empathic, highly intuitive, and deeply reflective, and strives to embody her values of compassion, authenticity, courage, and integrity.On today’s show, Emily will share with us ho...
2021-07-041h 02Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereSustained Effort and the Case for Racial IntelligencePlease join us to observe the first anniversary of George Floyd’s murder. We’re going to talk about Racial Intelligence for White people and how it is necessary if we are to keep up the passion for racial transformation on a societal scale that flourished in the wake of his death. We invite you to Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.
2021-07-0455 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereExposing Racism's Structure In Your Tax ReturnIf you have trouble understanding the “systemic” in systemic racism, (or just want to know more about it) be sure to join us for this show. Today we are thrilled to welcome the legal scholar and professor emerita of law Beverly Moran. Professor Moran is a leading tax scholar, winner of numerous awards, and author of numerous publications who joined Vanderbilt Law School’s faculty in 2001. She is the first African-American woman to be granted tenure at the law school. She also was a professor of sociology at Vanderbilt.Tax day just passed for most people in the United...
2021-07-0443 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereWhat's Wrong With Saying _I Don't See Color__We are so excited! Today’s topic is based on a question from a viewer. We love getting questions from our viewers so please send us a message with any question that you have. We meet many well-meaning people who want to express their desire to rise above prejudice and embrace people who are different from themselves. One of the ways many White people try to do that is by saying, “I don’t see color”. But for many People of Color, there is a visceral negative reaction to hearing that. Today we talk about wh...
2021-07-0430 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereWhy Do White People Celebrate POC _Overcoming_ Racist Barriers_In this episode of Just Lunch Live we address 5 reasons why White People celebrate when BIPOC “overcome” racist barriers and what that actually means. We will tell you why we have put “overcome” in quotation marks and discuss what White people can do instead. Come Abide Here. Come Hungry/Leave Transformed.
2021-07-0430 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereRage in the Arms of Truth and Righteousness_ When the Verdict is Not EnoughThe moment that news of a verdict in Derek Chauvin’s trial for killing George Floyd broke will be seared in the memories of millions of people around the world. For just over an hour millions were joined in a combination of hope and dread of the outcome. The experience of waiting for the verdict gives White people a glimpse into the experience of waiting for justice that People of Color in general and Black people in particular have done for centuries in the United States. It is that bated-breath feeling of anxiety and trepidation seasoned with a da...
2021-07-0448 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereWhat White Folk Don't Know About What _Kumbaya_ Really MeansThe collective pain that many communities are experiencing in the wake of George Floyd’s killing and Derek Chauvin’s trial for committing it provides a chance to reveal and give honor to the place and function of religion, faith, and the church in Black communities. Today Corregan Brown will join Bathabile to talk about what the Black church has meant to Black folk in times of trouble, historically and in the present day. Corregan is a technologist, blogger, and an occasional musician, poet, and pundit. He writes about race, politics, faith, and current events. He grew...
2021-07-0446 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereWhat White Folk Don't Know About Why The Vaccine Scares Black FolkOur special guest today is Dr. Chris Pernell. Bathabile got her first dose of the COVID vaccine yesterday but not without some trepidation. While many people in general feel nervous about getting the vaccine, for many Black people the prospect is downright frightening. Experiences of medical racism in the United States and elsewhere in the world have left many Black people and other people of color wondering whether they can truly trust the scientific community and the medical system. From enslaved Black women being used as medical guinea pigs to develop the field of gynecology to...
2021-07-0433 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereFive Things Your Black Friends Are Not Telling YouWhat are your Black friends hiding from you about their experiences with race and racism? Join us today as we touch on 5 things your Black friends are probably not telling you about racism and how you can use your awareness to make things better.
2021-07-0149 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereMe So Horny_ Asian Women and the Problem of White ParanoiaParanoia: “Suspicion and mistrust of people or their actions without evidence or justification.” -Google Dictionary. All cultures have their preoccupations but the exceptional power of White culture in the United States to back up its fears with violence demands special attention. Today we consider what the recent killings of Asian women working at massage parlors and public reaction from majority communities says about fear and racialized misogyny in White communities and we consider opportunities to connect and collaborate with Asian women.
2021-07-0144 minJust Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereFrom Oppressed to Oppressor_ Shifting Margins of IdentityWhat happens when your sense of identity no longer matches your access to power where you live? Our guest today is the poet, essayist, and actor Danielle Levsky, a first generation U.S. citizen whose parents immigrated to the United States from post Soviet Russia in 1992. She joins us to query what it means to be simultaneously dominant in one place and subservient in another, what that reveals about the contrived nature of White supremacy, and the potential that uncovering White supremacy’s artificiality brings to liberating other intersecting identities from the false constructs of power in the Un...
2021-07-011h 03Just Tea Sundays by Come Abide HereHow to Partner with Black Women in Power“ Paradox: One (such as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases” Merriam-Webster. While all women in leadership positions face the perceived paradox of being a woman in power, women of color, and Black women in particular, often face additional challenges just doing their jobs. In this pre-Tea episode Deane joins Come Abide Here founder Bathabile Mthombeni to talk about what makes being a Black woman in power so complicated and about how White women can better partner with Black women and other women of color in their organizations to build coalitions that resolve the perc...
2021-07-0141 min
The Break-up WhispererCan your breakups help you to manifest the right relationship?Today my guest is Kenna Williams, a renowned world traveler who hails from Oxnard, CA by way of Memphis, TN. She is a dynamic 40 year old professional woman who works as an Aerospace Engineer in the Defense industry and she is the creator of the famous hashtag #BookDatIsht which simply means to book flights immediately without questioning anything!Friends call her Pusha Kee for her incredible ability to gently encourage individuals to step out of their comfort zone and push life to the edge. She's known in travel circles for her infamous #DubaiBlackOut trips and her upcoming group tr...
2017-06-2659 min
The Break-up WhispererMy Mom and Dad on Breakups and their community work in South AfricaToday I welcome two very special guests to the show: Verah Mthombeni and Jonathan Mthombeni. She is a retired nurse practitioner, he is a retired pediatrician, and they just happen to be my Mom and Dad. Dad is also an ordained minister and together he and my mom have counseled quite a number of couples about their relationships. Today is Fathers’ day and it also happens to be my mom’s birthday. I feel very fortunate that I can honor them both by inviting them onto the show to share their wisdom about breakups and to talk about a very spec...
2017-06-181h 00
The Break-up WhispererBreak Up with Emotional Trauma: Amoreena Wade on your relationship with yourselfBreaking up with someone else can be challenging enough but what happens when the unhealthy relationship is with yourself? Today my guest is Amoreena Wade, a talented actress, outspoken survivor of sexual violence, and a victim advocate. The violence of sexual assault does not end with the event itself. In the aftermath, survivors are often tormented by guilt, shame, blame, and fear, and find that they can be their own harshest critics and worst detractors. Join us to hear Amoreena's story and to learn how she has navigated the difficult journey of breaking up with the burdens of emotional trauma and n...
2017-06-121h 10
The Break-up WhispererCan Empathy and Breakups Go Together? Dian Killian on Breaking Up Non ViolentlyThe convention about breakups is that they happen when communication and cooperation have broken down so much that being in the relationship is worse than not being in the relationship. There is blame, anger, acrimony, heartache, regret. In fact, the prospect of going through all that drives many people to remain in unhappy relationships. Can there be contentment, appreciation, understanding, even joy?Join me and my guest, Dr. Dian Killian as we explore how Non-Violent Communication can transform your breakup experience. Dian is a Trainer, Coach, and Consultant at Work Collaborativey, LLC, a certified trainer in Non Violent C...
2017-06-051h 00
The Break-up WhispererMoving On: Anderson St. James on Practicing Intentional Realty When You BreakupCan changing where you live improve your breakup experience? Often breaking up means finding a new place to live and finding a good new home is usually about finding a location based on property values. But what about the values of your heart?Anderson St. James is an Atlanta-based lifestyle realtor who takes a mindful approach to helping his clients find their new homes. Listen in to find out how Anderson carefully matches his clients to their new neighborhoods. Learn what steps you can take to improve your breakup experience by choosing a neighborhood that meets your em...
2017-05-2959 min
The Break-up WhispererMy Breakup Cured Me: Janiele Lewis and the Healing Potential of Breaking UpJaniele Lewis was born into a family of strong Jamaican women who taught her to value her mind first and develop a rugged attitude in the face of adversities, especially adversities of the heart. She learned to expect betrayal and ignore emotional pain, even when her heart was breaking. Eventually, her body broke down, paralyzing her, and forcing her to face that pain. Through her experience, Janiele came to understand how connected her emotional experiences were to her physical wellbeing.Over time, Janiele has developed a more holistic attitude toward heartbreak and other emotional experiences. She has learned the...
2017-05-221h 00
The Break-up WhispererMotherwit: Breakup Wisdom from Super Mom Christine DayMom always did know best and we address healthy breakup culture as we celebrate mother wit with certified vegan lifestyle coach and certified plantbased chef, Christine Day. She is mother of four and grandmother of two and she knows a little something about breakups. Join us as we talk about Christine's experiences and what she has learned about breakups, co-parenting, and what she wants her own children to know about how to remain healthy and sane while navigating a breakup. Happy Mother's Day! Music: http://www.purple-planet.com
2017-05-1557 min
The Break-up WhispererBreak Ups: What's the Big Deal? With Lex RocHartSANGOMA: The Break Up Whisperer is all about break ups. Not just this episode. The whole show! We'll talk about breaking up from nuts to bolts, from inside and outside, from up and down, we're going to dive into the social, cultural, political, economic, spiritual, and even biological significance of breaking up. During this episode we'll talk in general about why break ups are such a big deal for so many people. Break ups are really common life events that are likely to happen to pretty much everybody so why all the pearl clutching and hand wringing? Why do we talk...
2017-05-0852 min
The Break-up WhispererDignity and Humiliation: Evelin LindnerDon't call Evelin Lindner homeless. Yes, she claims no physical address. The world is her home and, as a global citizen, she is forwarding the message that the key to our collective survival lays in equal dignity for all. Please join us as as Evelin shares the story about how growing up as a displaced person has inspired her perspective on humiliation, equal dignity and being at home in the human collective.
2013-11-221h 07
The Break-up WhispererMediating in Translation: Jennifer SafianMy guest today is family and divorce mediator Jennifer Safian, founder of Safian Mediation. As a child she felt herself adrift between multiple cultures and languages. She didn't quite fit in anywere. Her multi-lingual, multi-cultural upbringing, originally a source of discomfort, has become a significant strength which she now shares with her clients. Please join us as we examine mediating in multiple languages and cultures and explore innovations that address the challenges of building a practice in mediation.
2013-11-1559 min
The Break-up WhispererThe Drama of Mediation: Debra OliverDebra Oliver, founder of Common Ground Mediation Services, truly exemplifies what it means to be at the frontlines of mediation. She comes from a background that the rest of us read about in novels or see in the movies. Born in Hollywood, CA to her own version of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, she studied at the Julliard School of the Performing Arts, Drama Division then spent time traveling, studying Eastern philosophy and having a family. She also lead a San Francisco theater company and hosted a weekly radio show about consciousness-raising.Debra discovered mediation in 1989 and knew she...
2013-11-011h 09The Break-up WhispererThe Art of Creating Peace: Amy Rebecca MarsicoAmy Rebecca Marsico was a theater intern in London when she came to understand just what was going on in Sarajevo during the war. Her work with refugees has fueled her passion for peace building. Today she creates documentary theater in order to promote peace and understanding. Listen to how this small town Ohioan is living her dream of making a difference in the world.
2012-09-101h 05The Break-up WhispererMediating on the Brink: Glenn DornfeldI'm truly delighted to welcome Glenn Dornfeld to SANGOMA. I forgot his last name when I announced this broadcast on the last episode and I hope to make it up to him! 95 percent of Glenn's work is with divorcing couples, "people whose emotional, financial and family lives [are] fundamentally and radically about to change . . . " as he puts it. I'm going to talk with Glenn about what brought him to mediation and talk about what it is like to stand with a couple on the brink of that change. Click the link for instructions about how to access the show.
2012-09-071h 19The Break-up WhispererWhen Walls Come Down: Brad Heckman, NY Peace Inst. CEOThe New York Peace Institute is turning one! Brad Heckman, NYPI's Chief Executive Officer joins me on SANGOMA today to share the celebration and tell the story of his journey into mediation. It starts with him finagling his way into Poland (his words) and watching Eastern Europe's peaceful transition from Soviet domination after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Join me as we celebrate the New York Peace Institute and listen to Brad's story.
2012-08-311h 00The Break-up WhispererLet the Fur Fly: Debra Hamilton, Pet MediatorI am happy to welcome Debra Hamilton to SANGOMA to talk about an area of mediation that is terribly important but often not considered: pet mediation. Listen to Debra's story about her journey into the field of mediation and how she came to focus on making peace when our furry friends are at the heart of the matter.
2012-08-141h 01The Break-up WhispererMediating in Crisis: Lynne KinnucanPlease join me in welcoming Lynne Kinnucan to SANGOMA. We're going to talk about her journey to mediation and her special focus: Mediating and negotiating in crisis situations. 7:30pm EST. Call (818) 532-9789 to listen on your phone. Dial "1" if you would like to comment or ask a question.
2012-08-031h 23The Break-up WhispererThe Cosmopolitan Mediator: Lisa Renee PomerantzJoin me as I welcome Lisa Renee Pomerantz to SANGOMA. Her background is full of moves to different parts of the United States and she combines conventional law practice with ADR approaches. We will explore how Lisa maneurvers within the intersections in her life.
2012-07-201h 05The Break-up WhispererConnecting with Non-Violent Communication: Dian KillianJoin me as I welcome Dian Killian, Ph.D. to SANGOMA. Dian is a Certified Trainer with the international Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC), founder and director of The Center for Collaborative Communication and co-author of Connecting Across Differences: A Guide to Compassionate, Nonviolent Communication and author of the graphic novel Urban Empathy.
2012-07-1343 minThe Break-up WhispererStories Mediators Tell: Lela LoveListen in as I chat with the award-winning mediator and educator, Lela Love. We're talking about Stories Mediators Tell, the brand new book she just co-edited, and about her own life story (which includes a stint hitchhiking around Mexico for college credit). Enjoy!
2012-06-221h 04The Break-up WhispererTough Love: La-Verna FountainThis week I welcome La-Verna Fountain to SANGOMA. What a story she has! La-Verna learned about love and conflict against the backdrop of the 1960s Civil Rights struggle. She marched on Washington as a little girl, after Dr. King’s assassination, muddy and courageous but confused and bewildered by the complicated things happening in her tiny Pennsylvania town. In her own home, love and violence twined her family together, and the strength of the women in her family, which contributed to the conflict she experienced, also inspired her passion for fighting injustice. We will talk about how La-Verna came to emb...
2012-06-141h 05The Break-up WhispererForgiveness after Genocide: Adrien NiyongaboAdrien Niyongabo is a founder and the coordinator of Healing and Rebuilding Our Communities in Burundi (HROC-Burundi). This Quaker-sponsored grassroots organization facilitates three day workshops for survivers of the civil war in Burundi and genocide in Rwanda. Join us to hear about this work and about many truly remarkable examples of human dignity, love, and forgiveness that he has witnessed. 7:30pm(EDT).
2012-06-081h 38The Break-up WhispererIn the Beginning: Ken NeumannI am so very excited to welcome Ken Neumann to SANGOMA this week. Not only because he is such a well known figure in mediation but because I've had the privilege of being one of his students. I plan to talk with Ken about how Family Mediation all started, how the field developed and what he sees as the future of Family Mediation. And, of course, we will talk about what brought him into the field and why he has stayed. Join us on Thursday night, May 24th at 7:30pm.
2012-05-251h 03The Break-up WhispererIntimate Issues: Eileen RowleyMediators often fill a need that is a combination of legal educator, therapist and priest. They help their clients address the material costs and emotional impact that their disputes bring. This often means trusting the mediator with the most intimate details of their hopes and dreams, hurts and desires. Eileen Rowley shares how she helps people in dispute to address their struggles, transform their perspectives and get to a better place. 7:30pm(EDT).
2012-05-181h 01The Break-up WhispererFrom the Mouths of Babes: Tara FishlerWhat a joy it is to be surprised by a child's wisdom. Tara Fishler's work training children to be mediators certainly delivers this joy in abundance. I'll be talking with Tara about her life as a mediator and why she chose to work with our youngest dispute resolvers. Her stories will certainly delight your heart.
2012-05-111h 01The Break-up WhispererMediating Deeper Connections: Marty EpsteinMediator and Non-Violent Communication practitioner Marty Epstein shares how his childhood yearning for connection has inspired his practice.
2012-05-041h 07The Break-up WhispererTell Me Your Story: Pamela JacksonI am so excited to begin my 2012 Season with Story Specialist, writer and performer Pamela Jackson. She has developed a brilliant approach to reconciling relationships after years of hurt. She created the process out of a desire to reconcile with her own mother - which she and her mother acknowledged would be no easy feat considering the history between them. The process worked. Join us to hear Pamela's story and to learn how storytelling and mediation can be the way that brings healing and peace to your damaged relationships. Visit untangledresolutions.blogspot.com for her website and other contact i...
2012-04-271h 17The Break-up WhispererSell Sell Sell!!! The basics of sales for entrepreneurs.Selling is the life blood of any business. Entrepreneurs are especially challenged by the rigors of selling. And yet, without sales, you are not in business. Regular guest Pankaj Amin joins me to talk about what every entrepreneur should know about selling. This is my last regular broadcast for the year. Look out for a special broadcast from time to time. I'll be back in January with a brand new format at a brand new time! I"m so excited about what I've got planned and I'm sure you will love it, too.
2011-10-301h 01The Break-up WhispererAddicted in Love: Drugs, Alcohol and MarriageStress levels are at an all-time high. Drug and alcohol addiction levels evidence that harsh impact that economic woes have made on individuals and their families. One result that often remains unremarked on is the number of divorces attributable to substance abuse and addiction. What is a family to do? My guest is William Perkins, a Substance Abuse Treatment Professional and Substance Abuse Program Developer, with over 15 years of experience in the treatment and prevention of drug abuse. He is the Executive Director of a new program which opened in May, 2010 called TARP, Inc., or Training Addiction and Rec...
2011-10-231h 01The Break-up WhispererGetting the most from Online NetworkingFacebook, Linkedin, Twitter, blogging, your life could be consumed by keeping up with online networking. What is an entrepreneur to do? How do you get the most value for the time you spend networking online? Join me and Maisha Walker, a well-seasoned internet strategist and founder of messagemedium, a company dedicated to helping small and medium-sized businesses get the most from their presence online.
2011-10-161h 04The Break-up WhispererLive from Zuccotti Park in NYC: Wall Street OccupiedThis week "The Problem is the Answer" goes on location to report from Occupy Wallstreet's headquarters in Zuccotti Park. Listen in for live interviews with protesters and call in with questions. It is time for a national conversation about the economy. That conversation has started in Zuccotti Park. Don't miss out!
2011-10-091h 05The Break-up WhispererIf the Sky FallsRecently a stock trader interviewed by the BBC gave the most dire statement I have heard to date predicting a worldwide stock market implosion. Sobering as his words were, I literally had no idea how to actually take the steps he suggested to protect my assets. Thankfully, a Sean Hyde, my guest this Sunday, is better informed and will share the steps you should consider taking in order to weather the tough times to come.
2011-10-021h 02The Break-up WhispererNinja NetworkingHave you tried networking and come up with nothing? Networking is an essential skill in these challenging times. That's how job seekers find work and entrepreneurs find clients. Without skill, networking can be a frustating and fruitless experience. How do you make sure your networking efforts pay off? I have two guests today. First, Pankaj Amin returns for his regular appearance on the show. He provides tips that will turn you into a networking ninja who wastes no effort and accomplish goals with surgical precision. Then I chat with John Federico, author of Mob Seen: How To Use Social...
2011-09-2555 minThe Break-up WhispererIs College Worth It (Rebroadcast)Life is about unforseen circumstances. Today unforseen circumstances mean that I am re-broadcasting this very important conversation with Angela Conley, an expert on how to get in to the best college for you and pay for it. Today's economy has many people questioning whether incurring college debt, which is significant, is worth the investment. Angela tells us why this question must not be taken lightly.
2011-09-181h 02The Break-up WhispererGiving Back: September 11th InspiresIn the wake of the September 11th tragedy, help and comfort poured in to New York City from around the world. Now New Yorkers are banding together to provide the same support and comfort to others who have experienced disasters in their communities. Listen in for how a very special song is set to help young people in Joplin Missouri, who survived an F5 torando earlier this year, put their lives and their band back together.
2011-09-111h 02The Break-up WhispererLabor Day SpecialOur regular live broadcast will not be heard today for the Labor Day Holiday. Look out for our special MAAFA broadcast later this week. Meanwhile enjoy this episode about how to establish your business so you can cash in on it later. Happy Labor Day to all in the United States. Happy Spring to the Southern Hempisphere. Have a great week everyone!Best,Bathabile
2011-09-041h 01The Break-up WhispererHow to Stand Out in Today's Economy: It's Not the 30s Redux. Today I am happy to welcome Pankaj Amin back to the show. He is our expert on the economy and how to thrive in these financially challenging times. Today we talk about why this recession is different from any other and how to stand out in a tough economy. This is not your grandmother’s recession and whether you are looking for regular employment or offering your services as a subcontractor, it is a buyer’s market and competition among sellers is stiff. How do you make sure that your resume or proposal gets to the top of the p...
2011-08-281h 04The Break-up WhispererA Conversation with Suga RayMy guest is Suga Ray, a community activist who shares with us how he came from being the worst of the worst, as he put it, to dedicating every ounce of his passion and power to inspiring others to change their lives and serve their communities. I asked Suga Ray to be on the show because I want to celebrate people who are pro-actors, not re-actors, people who do not wait for help and services to come from somewhere else, people who realize that the power to create the kind of community anyone would want to live in lays within t...
2011-08-2100 minThe Break-up WhispererA Conversation with Community Activist Suga RayMy guest is Suga Ray, a community activist who shares with us how he came from being the worst of the worst, as he put it, to dedicating every ounce of his passion and power to inspiring others to change their lives and serve their communities. I asked Suga Ray to be on the show because I want to celebrate people who are pro-actors, not re-actors, people who do not wait for help and services to come from somewhere else, people who realize that the power to create the kind of community anyone would want to live in lays within t...
2011-08-2153 minThe Break-up WhispererIs College Worth the Money?Our economy is undergoing a significant shift that brings with it a great deal of uncertainty. With college-educated people deeply impacted by the great recession some ask whether a college education is still worth the investment. Join me and my guest Angela Conley, a Higher Education Access Consultant and the founder and Principal of VentureForth Consulting, as we discuss this issue and reveal her wisdom about making a college education accessible and affordable.
2011-08-141h 02The Break-up WhispererGeoffrey Davis: Love Yourself Stop the ViolenceListen in as I talk with well-known New York Community Activist Geoffrey Davis about the "Love Yourself Stop the Violence" campaign.
2011-08-071h 00The Break-up WhispererWhat's Happening in AugustToday's regular programming will not be aired due to logistical and technical issues. I have recorded a special message for you about what to expect for the rest of the month. Please take a listen. I'll miss you but I will be back again next week with Angela Conley who will talk with me about whether a college education is still worth the investment.
2011-08-0723 minThe Break-up WhispererYour New EconomyJoin me and return guest Pankaj Amin as we discuss the state of the economy and what you should do to adapt to it.
2011-07-311h 00The Break-up WhispererBrandon Lacy Campos Tells the TruthPoet Brandon Lacy Campos has published his first book and boy does he have something to say. Join us as we celebrate the book's publication and talk about life, loss, love and the truth.
2011-07-241h 01The Break-up WhispererNegotiating with ChildrenLast week we talked about how to make change happen in government Today we talk about how you can make change happen in your family. Join me and my guest Mark Kleiman, mediator, as we talk about how to talk with your kids about anything. Mark is a former staff attorney for the Juvenile Rights Division of Legal Aid Society who left the court system to found and become executive director of Community Mediation Services, Inc. in Queens. From an initial mentoring program, CMS has developed court diversion programs across the city since 1983 in the areas of juvenile ju...
2011-07-171h 01The Break-up WhispererGrassroots 101: How to Fight the Law and WinCan you fight the law and win? The Presidential race is ramping up in the United States and with it come the local, state, and national elections that give citizens the chance to impact politics in their communities in major ways. This broadcast of The Problem Is the Answer is about how to get the job done - no matter your political orientation. My guest is Cathy Marino-Thomas, Communications Director and President of the Board of Directors of Marriage Equality New York or MENY. MENY lead the grassroots effort that succeeded in convincing a majority of the the New Yo...
2011-07-101h 00The Break-up WhispererImagine There's No Country: an Anarchist's ManifestoWhat comes to your mind when you hear the word "Anarchy"? This Monday the United States remembers the the moment when this nation was formed. It is traditionally a national day of celebration. But it is also a chance to stop for a moment and think about what it means to be a nation. I invite you to take a pause from the pie and hot dog eating contests, the parades and the fireworks, take a moment to ask the provocative questions: do we really need a country? Could we be better off without the State? My...
2011-07-031h 02The Break-up WhispererWho Owns Your Stuff on the Internet?The internet has opened doors for anyone with access to become a published author, photographer, international entrepreneur and more. But who owns the stuff you post in the internet? What are the rules about whether you can use or borrow pictures or articles or music that you come across on the internet? Can other people use your stuff? My guest this week is Alozie Etufugh, J.D., an Intellectual Property (IP) attorney who will share the answers to those questions and more.
2011-06-261h 02The Break-up WhispererCelebrating Real Dads!Too often the news about Dads is negative. According to a study by the Pew Research Centers titled "A Tale of Two Fathers", 27% of fathers in the United States who have children under age 18 live apart from at least one of their children. This situation does give rise to serious concerns. It cannot go unaddressed. However, this show is not about that. This show is about the 73% of fathers who do live with their children and are a significant presence in their lives. I am honored to welcome two guests. The first is Keith Honeywell. He is a founder...
2011-06-191h 03The Break-up WhispererGrowing Gold: How to Cash-in on Your BusinessThe wealthiest people in the United States largely share one thing in common: entrepreneurs. Most of today's wealthiest Americans are wealthy because somebody started a business and then, more often than not, sold it for a substantial profit. If you are an entrpreneur or you are thinking about starting a business, this show is for you. My guest is Pankaj Amin, the Managing Director of SC Ventures, a consulting firm and investment fund that advises small to mid-sized companies and makes equity investments. Punkaj is also an entrepreneur who successfully purchased and managed a business that he s...
2011-06-121h 00The Break-up WhispererMeltdown Memo: How to Avoid a Mortgage Rip-OffThe mortgage meltdown, the main reason for the United States' current financial crisis, happened largely on the backs of ordinary people who did not truly understand what happened when they signed their mortgages. I have invited housing and mortgage expert Rayman Mathoda, former Executive Vice President and Chief Administrative Officer at Indymac Bank, on the show to clear the air on the mortgage meltdown. Ray founded and currently heads AssetPlanUSA, a company dedicated to educating its clients about the latest in housing market and regulation matters. She will give us the inside track on: What really happened to c...
2011-06-051h 03The Break-up WhispererVacation MessageI took a vacation from broadcasting this week to attend my college reunions. You can take this break to listen to broadcasts that you haven't had time to hear in the past. For descriptions of each broadcast (organized by category) please visit www.untangledresolutions.blogspot.com. I'm working on a brand new show for you coming up next Sunday! All my best, Bathabile
2011-05-2911 minThe Break-up WhispererWolves in the Kitchen: Dealing with Debt CollectorsDo you know your rights against aggressive debt collectors? If you or someone you know is being harassed by debt collectors, you don't want to miss this show. My guest this week is Cynthia Williamston, an extraordinary woman who waged an extraordinary battle against debt collectors and won. Hearing her story will leave you better informed about your rights and what to do if debt collectors come pounding on your door.
2011-05-221h 03The Break-up WhispererThe Art of Celebration!Last week we celebrated Mother's Day, next month we celebrate Father's Day, and there will be many reasons for other celebrations in between and beyond. The show this week is all about celebrating. I am delighted and honored to welcome Life Cycle Celebrant Kim Kirkley to the show. Ms. Kirkley is the 2005 recipient of Modern Bride's Trendsetter Award (other awardees include wedding luminaries such as Vera Wang, Carolina Herrera and Wolfgang Puck). She is featured in New York Magazine's 2011 Weddings Issue. In our shrinking world, people from different countries, cultures, faiths and traditions form new communities...
2011-05-151h 01The Break-up WhispererCelebrate Mother's Day!You all are my guests on the show this week as we honor and celebrate mothers! Phone lines will be open. Call in to tell the world why your mother (biological or otherwise) rocks! Or, send a tribute to your mother to me (info@123untangled.com) and I will read it over the air. Share a story about something your mother has done for you. Poets and musicians, send me your work about mothers to be read or played on the air.
2011-05-081h 30The Break-up WhispererWill She Really Get Half? What You Don't Know About No FaultLast week we talked about how to know if your relationship will last. This week we talk about what can happen if it does not. Join me and No Fault Divorce expert Eric Reimer to learn the ins and outs of how decisions you make now can impact you later in a divorce.
2011-05-012h 00The Break-up WhispererMarried to Your Mother? Why You Chose Your Mate & MoreOn this show my guest, Family Therapist and pioneer Divorce Mediator Kenneth Neumann, Ph.D., co-founder of The Center for Mediation and Training in New York City, reveals the secrets to predicting whether your relationship will last, explains what you should know about yourself before you choose a mate, describes how your childhood family dynamics influence your adult relationships, and much, much more. Don't miss this opportunity to have your questions answered anonymously.
2011-04-242h 02The Break-up WhispererWolves at the Door? Bankruptcy Demystified.We have said it before, nothing can tear a family apart like fiancial difficulties. In these economic times, more families find themselves faced with sobering decisions. One of those decisions might be whether to file for bankruptcy. Join me and my guest, Uzoma Eze, J.D., CPA, a practicing bankruptcy attorney, to talk about the facts, myths and potential benefits of filing for bankruptcy. Call in with your questions, comments and concerns. (818) 532-9789.
2011-04-172h 05
The Break-up Whisperer. . . and Away We Go! Tips-n-Tricks for Trouble-free TravelSummertime is coming to the Northern Hemisphere and with it the annual summer tradition: going on holiday. Done well, travel vacations are a great way to share time with friends and loved ones. However travelling together can destroy your relationships if you don't plan properly. My guests are travel bloggers Chelle Roberts and Brian Peters, who will offer the best travel tips: how to find great deals and steals, planning an around the world trip on a budget, what to discuss with your travel partner(s) before you leave, international etiquette, and much, much more. Bring your questions and tell us y...
2011-04-102h 04The Break-up WhispererChallenging Conversations: Talking with your Child about Sexual PredatorsDo you know how to talk with your child about sexual predators? Saying nothing is not an option. My guest this week is Bill Murray, activist, community organizer and founder of Los Angeles Community Policing (LACP) and the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (NAASCA). He co-hosts his own show called Stop Child Abuse Now right here on Blogtalkradio. Bill is a survivor of child sexual abuse who has made educating everyone he can about how sexual predators operate and how to stop them his life's work. We will talk about what to say to your children about...
2011-04-032h 03The Break-up WhispererPolice in the Church?On Friday and Saturday, April 22 & 23, Antioch Baptist Church in Brooklyn will host Project Safe Surrender - a program where judges set up a makeshift courtroom at the church so that people who have warrants on low-level violations can come and have their cases adjudicated. Considering the historical and recent state of the relationship between communities of color and the criminal justice system, is it a good idea to have the church collaborating with the police and the courts in this way? What about the separation of church and state? Attorney Andrew G. March, a former criminal defense attorney, joins me...
2011-03-272h 02The Break-up WhispererIs it Murder if She Asked For It?Civility, empathy, compassion, where is the love in the United States today? From the rhetoric about immigrants to recent reactions of men and women to news reports of women being abused, the spirit of community seems to be in short supply. Meanwhile, in the wake of an overwhelming disaster, people in Japan have shown the world the best of humanity's potential for decency and compassion. This Sunday, D.A. Graham, the Princeton University Ombudsman, joins me to discuss what has happened to compassion in our communities and what we can learn from the people of Japan. Call in to share...
2011-03-202h 02The Break-up WhispererIt's All About the BenjaminsMoney is often a leading factor when a long-term relationship breaks down. A couple that shares a common understanding of financial principles and can agree on common financial goals stands a better chance of communicating well and working out their financial differences while maximizing their financial resources. Financially savvy people can also pass their knowledge and skills on to their children. This week I discuss how to keep your relationships financially healthy with my guest, Dominique' Reese, a financial adviser and financial educator. Ms. Reese is the founder and CEO of CommuniTree, LLC, a company dedicated to "[educating] American youth...
2011-03-132h 03
The Break-up WhispererWhat is Your PIN Part II: Advocating with PowerYou've learned the basics for sorting out your PIN. Now learn how your PIN can help you advocate for yourself when you need something from someone who has more power than you have. Also, call in with your opinion about the question of the week: They're fighting, should I get involved?
2011-03-061h 58The Break-up WhispererWhat's Your PIN? Discover the secrets to effective self-advocacy.A PIN number is a code that unlocks a vault that holds something of value. In mediation PIN stands for Positions, Interests and Needs. Understanding your PIN gives you the code that unlocks the answers to your dilemmas. When you know your PIN you can become your own best advocate. Listen to the show to discover your PIN.
2011-02-271h 32The Break-up WhispererWhat Do I Say? Part II - Getting Down to the Bottom of Intent and ImpactWhy is it crucial to separate intent from impact? Our last broadcast introduced you to the art of paraphrasing. This broadcast helps you to use paraphrasing to resolve disputes by separating intent from impact.
2011-02-201h 30The Break-up WhispererWhat Do I Say?Now that you know what to listen for, learn how professional mediators know what to say. Skillful responses open doors to win-win resolutions. Call in to have your issues addressed anonymously or send your question via email: info@123untangled.com.
2011-02-131h 02The Break-up WhispererListen to be HeardDo others listen to you when you speak? Do you often feel misunderstood? Join in to share your experiences and concerns about listening and being heard. Call in to get my personal guidance about how to harness the powers of active listening so that you will be understood.
2011-01-2330 min