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Ben Kraker & Jim Van Stensel

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Real Men HugReal Men HugEp. 26 || Final Episode: Farewell from Jim & BenIn this bittersweet finale of Real Men Hug, Jim and Ben reflect on the transformative journey of their podcasting adventure. Over the past year, they’ve shared laughs, deep dives into mental health, stories of personal growth, and vulnerable moments of connection—all while modeling authentic friendship and challenging societal norms around masculinity.This episode is packed with heartfelt reflections and hilarious behind-the-scenes anecdotes, from Ben’s ADHD-fueled doorbell chaos to Jim’s lessons in climbing out of the metaphorical well. They reminisce about highlights like hosting inspiring guests (shoutout to Dr. Matt Zakreski and Jamie and Mahlon f...2024-12-2645 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 25 || Cornerstone Concerns: Navigating Christian Nationalism, Inclusivity, and Faith in PoliticsIn this episode of Real Men Hug, Ben and Jim discuss the controversies surrounding their alma mater, Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Under the leadership of President Gerson Moreno-Riaño, the university has faced significant challenges, including a faculty vote of no confidence on October 21, 2021, just before his inauguration.* Allegations of resistance to diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts have caused widespread unrest among alumni and students, sparking protests and online calls for reform.** The decision to cut entire departments, like the humanities, and enact mass layoffs has further raised questions about the institution’s direction and commitment to pro...2024-12-0543 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 24 || The Gift of Choice: Crafting Your Own Holiday RhythmThis week, Ben and Jim dive into the nuances of holiday traditions, exploring how we can reclaim joy and reduce stress by celebrating on our own terms. Whether it’s debating the supremacy of cheesy potatoes over green bean casserole or reflecting on the idea of “picking a different day” to celebrate, they bring both humor and heart to the conversation.Through personal stories and heartfelt reflections, they discuss the tension of navigating family dynamics while staying true to what matters most. Holidays can feel like a time where the expectations never let you down, but Ben and Ji...2024-11-2131 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 23 || Who Do You Think You Are?: When Self-Perception and Reality CollideIn today’s episode, Ben and Jim dive into the topic of self-perception and how it can sometimes stray far from reality. Whether it’s the inner critic that says we’re not enough or that old friend called self-doubt, they unpack how self-perception can skew our understanding of who we truly are.Topics covered:Ben and Jim’s College Days: Reflecting on perceptions of confidence and the hidden inner doubts.Family and Self-Worth: Jim opens up about the struggle of feeling like he’s not “providing enough” and how that a...2024-10-3123 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 22 || Balancing Pills, People, and Purpose: Walking the Path to Better Health TogetherIn this episode, Ben and Jim explore the balance between medication, meaningful connections, and long-term health. They discuss how pills can be a temporary bridge toward healthier habits but shouldn’t replace physical activity and relationships. Ben shares personal stories about his own weight loss journey, the mental and physical connection, and the power of forgiveness in healing. Whether you’re starting your journey or seeking sustainability, this episode reminds us that we’re all walking the path to better health together. Takeaways:Medication can be part of the process, but it’s important to includ...2024-10-1722 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 21 || The Weight of Empathy: Caring Without Losing YourselfIn this episode of Real Men Hug, hosts Jim and Ben take a deep dive into the concept of empathy, highlighting the crucial difference between empathy and sympathy. While sympathy involves feeling for someone, empathy goes a step further by sharing and bearing the weight of someone else’s burdens. Through personal stories, such as Ben's journey with health struggles, they explore how empathy can take an emotional toll, especially when it comes to balancing caring for others with caring for oneself.The discussion touches on both the challenges of empathizing with people in pain and the su...2024-09-0536 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 20 || The Gratitude Effect: Balancing Privilege and PerspectiveIn this 20th episode of Real Men Hug, Ben and Jim explore the multifaceted nature of gratitude. Ben shares his unique perspective from a life spent rubbing elbows with both CEOs and the homeless, offering deep reflections on how gratitude manifests across different walks of life.The episode dives into the challenges of maintaining gratitude amidst privilege and adversity, with Ben providing thoughtful insights on how to find balance in a world often defined by extremes. Jim brings his own experiences to the table, discussing how a simple Jenga block exercise helped him and his wife rediscover...2024-08-2241 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 19 || Moving from What If to What Is: Thriving with ADHD and Other Forms of Neurodiversity (w/ Dr. Matthew Zakreski)Moving from What If to What Is: Thriving with ADHD and Other Forms of Neurodiversity (w/ Dr. Matthew Zakreski)Ben and Jim enjoy a fascinating conversation with the insightful Dr. Matthew Zakreski. Listen in as they delve into the complexities of neurodiversity, focusing on ADHD, academic giftedness, and other neurodivergent conditions. They explore how these differences can shape experiences and offer a unique perspective on thriving in a world that often misunderstands them.Dr. Matt shares his personal origin story, revealing that he was diagnosed as gifted in second grade and later discovered...2024-08-0856 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 18 || Reaching Out: Building Support Systems to Overcome LonelinessIn this episode, Ben and Jim delve into the complexities of loneliness, exploring how self-doubt can deepen feelings of isolation. They discuss the concept of emotional permanence and its relation to ADHD, sharing personal stories and insights on coping strategies. The hosts tackle the impact of self-criticism, offering practical advice on choosing connection over isolation through self-acceptance. Ben and Jim emphasize the importance of building support systems, proactive outreach, and the value of friends who understand and support you. They differentiate between intentional seclusion for self-care and reactive loneliness, providing insights on finding balance. The episode also discusses h...2024-07-2548 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 17 || The Social Media Maze: Parenting, Politics, and the Pursuit of PositivityIn this episode of Real Men Hug, Ben and Jim explore the complex world of social media and its impact on parenting, politics, and mental health. Ben and Jim reflect on how social media has become a double-edged sword, bringing both connectivity and complications. Ben shares a personal story about the regret of allowing his son access to Snapchat, highlighting the platform's potential to expose young users to harmful content, leading to a broader discussion on the influence of platforms like TikTok on their kids and themselves.Parenting today is vastly different due to social m...2024-07-1140 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 16 || 40 and Fabulous...ly Falling Apart In this episode of Real Men Hug, Ben and Jim tackle the rollercoaster ride of gracefully aging—or at least trying to. They candidly share their recent experiences, from Ben's frightening heart scare that landed him in the hospital with AFib to the excitement and stress of buying and moving into a new home. The hosts delve into the emotional and physical challenges of turning 40, discussing the importance of intentional self-care and the surprising impact of stress on their health. Amidst the chaos, they find moments of joy, such as hammock chats with a daughter and the simple pleasure of a h...2024-06-2737 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 15 || Smiles and Sorrows: The Duality of Dad LifeIn this special Father's Day episode of "Real Men Hug," hosts Ben and Jim dive into the complexities and joys of fatherhood with a mix of humor and heartfelt conversations. They kick off with light-hearted banter about dad jokes and pool mishaps, setting a fun tone for the episode.The conversation transitions into a deeper discussion about the most meaningful Father's Day gifts they've received, highlighting the importance of thoughtful gestures from their children. Ben shares a touching story about a gift from his daughter that symbolized their bond and journey together, while Jim reminisces about a...2024-06-1651 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 14 || Forgiveness: For Your Peace, Not Their PardonIn this episode of Real Men Hug, hosts Jim and Ben navigate their personal journeys through challenging life events, reflecting on the role of forgiveness in healing and moving forward. They share updates on their family lives and dive deep into their experiences with betrayal and abuse. Ben shares a poignant story about working for an organization that functioned like a cult, detailing the emotional toll it took and how he found freedom through forgiveness. Jim revisits the frustration he had with a former employer's laziness in repairing his home. Together, they pause and reflect on the themes of...2024-05-3056 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 13 || Crafting Connections: A Blueprint for Lasting Friendships in AdulthoodIn a world where adult friendships often take a backseat, hosts Ben and Jim embark on a journey through the complexities of maintaining meaningful connections amidst the chaos of various life stages, including raising young children. Drawing from their own experiences and heartfelt insights, they navigate the highs and lows of friendship with candor, humor, and understanding.From sharing laughter over shared hobbies to weathering the storms of life together, Ben and Jim explore the essence of true friendship. But it's not just about companionship; it's about intentional efforts and mutual support. Tune in as they unravel...2024-05-1640 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 12 || (pt. 2) Deconstructing Gender Norms: Real Talk with Jamie and Mahlon from Roundtable MindsetIn this episode of Real Men Hug, hosts Jim and Ben sit down with Jamie and Mahlon from Roundtable Mindset to explore the impact of societal gender norms on various aspects of life. Together, they delve into the significance of mutual respect, open dialogue, and personal growth beyond traditional expectations.Throughout the conversation, Jamie and Mahlon emphasize the importance of challenging outdated practices and fostering inclusivity in understanding gender roles. They share insights on how breaking free from stereotypes can lead to more fulfilling relationships, both personally and professionally.As hosts, Jim and Ben echo...2024-05-0245 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 11 || Deconstructing Gender Norms: Real Talk with Jamie and Mahlon from Roundtable Mindset (Part 1)Dive into a riveting collaborative dialogue between Real Men Hug and Roundtable Mindset as they bravely confront the age-old assumptions and societal norms that shape our perceptions of gender roles. In this illuminating episode, listeners are invited to challenge the rigid confines of traditional masculinity and femininity, as the hosts fearlessly explore the intricacies of roles within marriages and families.Through candid anecdotes and introspective musings, the hosts peel back the layers of stereotypes, revealing the often-overlooked nuances of daily life. From the simple act of pumping gas on a blustery winter day to the complex dynamics...2024-04-2553 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 10 || Real Men, Real Marriage: Conversations on Love, Loss, and Learning Together"Mawage. Mawage is what brings us together today." The iconic words of The Impressive Clergyman from The Princess Bride perfectly set the stage for today's episode!Join hosts Ben and Jim as they open up about the highs and lows of marriage. They candidly share experiences from their own individual marriages with humor, honesty, and empathy.From everyday triumphs to unexpected hurdles, Ben and Jim dive deep into the complexities of married life.But it's not just about weathering storms; it's also about nurturing ourselves. Tune in as they discuss the importance of...2024-04-111h 16Real Men HugReal Men HugEp. 9 || Toxic Positivity: Good Intentions Gone BadIn this thought-provoking episode, hosts Ben and Jim delve into the complexities of toxic positivity, shedding light on its detrimental effects on emotional well-being. Through personal narratives and reflections, they navigate the societal pressures that often compel us to suppress our vulnerabilities under the guise of unwavering positivity.Exploring the societal pressures that dictate how men should express themselves emotionally, Ben and Jim debunk the myth that strength equates to stoicism. Through personal anecdotes and expert insights, they uncover the profound impact of toxic positivity on mental health and relationships.This episode serves...2024-03-2852 minReal Men HugReal Men HugEp. 8 || From Yesterdog to the Grand River: Our Hometown of Grand Rapids, MIIn this episode of Real Men Hug, join Jim and Ben as they kick back and reminisce about their adventures of growing up around, and ultimately returning to, their hometown of  Grand Rapids, Michigan. From chowing down on Yesterdog's mouthwatering (depending on who you ask...) delights to cruising along the serene White Pine Trail, they paint a vivid picture of the good times they've shared.Jim and Ben dive into what makes Grand Rapids special - the tight-knit community. They swap stories about bumping into old pals and the camaraderie that comes with it. Through laughter and b...2024-03-1459 min