Shows
SexologyEP98 - Surviving Infidelity (Tips for the Offender) Welcome to episode 98 of the Sexology Podcast, today I’m delighted to be joined by Beth Luwandi Lofstrom who speaks to me about surviving infidelity as the offender, the process of disclosure and how that impacts the partner and recommendations for offenders to get themselves unstuck. Beth Luwandi Lofstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Cincinnati, Ohio where her specialty areas are love and loss. She treats couples and individuals healing from infidelity and other relationship wounds. Her Whole Human Theory(TM), an approach based on brain science and methods research, also includes personality as...2018-11-2041 min
Women In-Depth: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women78: After Infidelity: Healing for the Offender with Beth Luwandi Lofstrom, MA, LPCBeth Luwandi Lofstrom, MA, LPC is a licensed psychotherapist and Life Coach in private practice in Cincinnati, Ohio. She works with couples and individuals experiencing betrayal, loss, and relationship tangles. Her Whole Human Theory (TM) suggests that a2018-03-2939 min
Practice of Being SeenBeth Luwandi Lofstrom: The Gentle Benevolent ObserverIf you were to ask a room full of people whether or not they’ve ever cheated on a partner or have been cheated on by a partner, you’d likely get every single person to say “yes” to one or the other, if not both. Affairs are such a common thing in intimate relationships. And, so profoundly painful--certainly for the partner who was betrayed by the affair, but also, according to this week’s guest Beth Luwandi Lofstrom, for the offender. When we cheat, it has a way of really getting at the core of who we are...2017-12-1300 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition27 Dating NOW BasicsA follow-up from the Midlife Dating 101, 2017 Seminar in Cincinnati, Beth talks about Attraction, communication rules and progression, dating in midlife for optimum health (and avoiding pain,) the communion of love and loss, and seven fabulous dating tips that will serve you well! Want the full show notes (as a supplement or to READ instead of listen?) Find them at www.midlifelovebytes.com and look for episode 27.2017-01-2531 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition26 Healing HeartacheMen and Women (and different personality types) deal with heartache in various ways. Beth shares the best answers for how long it takes to heal after divorce or a break-up. She covers a list of sure-fire ways to make it worse. Of course, she finishes with a list of 13 specific ways to heal as quickly and thoroughly as possible. Don’t spend time asking the hard Why and What questions. Substitute instead the questions you can actually get helpful information on. How do I get through this? How do I make sense of this? See the co...2016-12-2025 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition25 After InfidelityInfidelity can rock your world like nothing else. Recovering and even saving the relationship IS possible. Anne Goshen, LCSW, PhD, psychotherapist practicing in San Diego, California outline's the Gottman Institutes phases of recovery. How this issue gets addressed can truly be the make or break in your healing. Beth brings a Burning Question at about 17:00 regarding when things get mighty messy and some form of retaliation enters the situation. Join us! Link to resources and complete show notes at www.luwandicounseling.com/podcast/2016-12-1335 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition24 Love is EasyMarried? In a relationship, alone, or any description in between? Is love hard? Question your limiting beliefs. Burning Question: 38 year old man, together with his wife for eight years asks Why is it so hard to have a good relationship? Beth takes you through a process of examining and questioning what you believe about love and relationships including the common beliefs that relationships are hard, take a lot of work, and require compromise. You just might be surprised by how easily you can shift your thinking and begin to have an easy, joyful, connected experience and attract more love.2016-11-1718 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition23 Alone for the Holidays Part 2For single Smart and Sassy Women and Genuine Good Guys. Recorded in mid-October, Beth gives a list of great resources you can check out. She summarizes from several online articles. Beth takes a light survey of popular publications and their ideas for how YOU can get through until late February. You might find some good ideas! And the list might just be fun, no matter what. Glamour, PsychCentral, Huffington Post LonerWolf blog, Match.com single person’s holiday survival guide. complete show notes at midlifelovebytes.com2016-11-1021 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition22 Handling the Holidays Alone, Part 1Beth Luwandi LPC outlines how to handle the holidays when you’re single. She goes over tips on how to handle it, how to talk about it and who to talk to about it. Beth gives examples for different ways to make the experience better for yourself including feeling your feelings, telling the truth about those feelings with the right people, and exploring your options. Don’t make it worse for yourself. Beth gives tips on how to avoid the stuff that makes it all worse and how to make it a little better. See the complete show...2016-10-1924 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition21 Healthy Sexuality 101Dr. Nazanin Moali, licensed psychologist practicing in southern California talks about the tenets of healthy sexuality, what is at the root of many sexual issues, changes in libido as we age, and knowing when it’s time to get professional help. Burning question comes from a 52-year old woman with grown sons in their early 20’s who was suddenly widowed about a year ago. She wants to know how to approach her desire for sex after a long, frequent, satisfying sex life in her marriage. You’ll love what Dr. Naz has to say about this situation. Dr. Naz de...2016-10-1227 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition20 Red and Pink Flags in EvaluationBeth Luwandi Lofstrom, LPC practicing in Cincinnati, outlines the differences between red and pink flags in relationship or connection and what to do when you encounter them. She explores why there is no such thing as a yellow flag in relationship or new connection or even in long-term or committed relationship. Beth uses a story intro featuring a very attractive, high maintenance woman paired with a man to demonstrate how outside perspective evaluating couples does not always hold. Like a fun little love story analysis? You’ll like this one. You need to know once an for all how to...2016-10-0725 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition19 Wrangling your Perfectionism and Fear in Relationship (and work)Psychologist Melvin Varghese, PhD, founder and host of the podcast, Selling the Couch defines perfectionism, fear, and resilience as it shows up in relationships. Beth and Melvin explore the good and bad sides, the way we navigate in life and relationship and then dive into the balance with work as well. It’s a great conversation for successful, intelligent, driven people (like you.) Complete show notes at www.midlifelovebytes.com More about Melvin and Selling the Couch at www.sellingthecouch.com 2016-09-1738 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition18 Dare to Identify the ShameBeth and Beth Franchini talk Brene Brown’s research on shame, shame resilience, and what to do with this intense, burning feeling in the context of relationship. Beth Franchini explores how disconnecting, fear of losing connection, and believing we’re unworthy of love and belonging are at the core of shame. She differentiates between guilt, embarrassment, humiliation, and SHAME which says, “I’m bad.” This is the stuff we don’t want to talk about at all and includes a deep-seated belief we’d rather not look at. Maybe you are vulnerable to shame triggers in these areas...2016-08-2535 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition17 Burning Questions ANSWEREDIn this episode, Beth answers several related Burning Questions that have come in. You may have some of the same questions and the answers just might be surprisingly simple. First,Beth reviews the overarching framework to her Dating, Mating, & Relating Coaching: Preparation: preparing yourself for good relationship Attraction: knowing how it works Connection: doing what works to get you connected Evaluation: being able to look at this fairly and make decisions Relationship: making very healthy love work. Listen for the answers to the same burning questions YOU may be asking.2016-08-2025 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition16 Midlife Crisis For Everyone!It's not a scandal; it's NORMAL! Learn how the psychosocial navigation of midlife is just a life passage affecting every single one of us. According to Erik Erickson, it occurs between the ages of 34 and 60 and includes four objectives Beth covers as we navigate the polarities of Generativity and Stagnation. Learn how central personality questions help to complicate the process and how they can be a key to helping you decide between RED flags (or deal-breakers) and PINK flags (your internal signals that are just invitations for growth!) You are already engaging the area of EVALUATION in relationship! Now...2016-07-1228 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition15 A Good DivorceHear the why and how behind the Rules for a Cooperative Divorce. These Rules (compiled by Boyan & Termini and part of their Cooperative Parenting Institute) were written by a teen whose parents divorced but apply for children of divorced parents of ALL ages, even adults. Beth expands on the Rules and of course, shares personal examples.2016-06-0925 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition14 Relationship 101Beth Luwandi, LPC speaks with Rebecca Wong, LCSW-R, Relationship Therapist and creator of Connectfulness. Find out more at www.connectfulness.com. Learn more about relationship issues including empathy, connection, conflict, and asking for what we need. Rebecca introduces Relationship Reboot, her upcoming email program designed to recharge you in the areas of energy, money, and time. Developed in collaboration with a yoga instructor and a financial planner, Rebecca adds her expertise in relationship to round out this perfect marriage of these three areas where people clash. Burning Question of the episode comes from 57 year-old woman in a second marriage...2016-05-1233 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition13 Being Critical or is there Trouble?Are those deal breakers in you marriage, relationship, connection, or date selection? Beth takes a deep look at Bert Adams' 1986 research-based triangle of the Five Phases of Mate Selection in the US and how the common, normal sense, acceptance, and structure of coupling can be a comfort AND a guide no matter what your situation. Includes a definition of red versus pink flags. Pay attention to both, but in different ways! Answering the burning question from Sarah: How do I know if this man is the wrong one for me? Find complete show notes at www.midlifelovebytes.com.2016-04-2825 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition12 For MEN Again!Round two For Men ONLY dedicated to helping dating men find quality (read HOT, eligible, interested) women. Beth lists more than 20 fantastic places to rub shoulders with HER. Explore the fantasy floating around in your psyche and take the cautionary advice for succeeding when you see her. Now available on Google Play Music. Subscribe there, at Stitcher, or on iTunes where you can Rate and Review (i.e.leave your love note!) Additional show notes available at Midlifelovebytes.com2016-04-2124 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition11 Your Kids or Your MatePerspective on choosing your kids over your mate and vice versa. Carla Seemann, LPCC-S, shares her wisdom from 27 years working with children and their families in all stages of change and adaptation. What do you do if your kids hate your new mate? Are you choosing the kids and sacrificing an intimate relationship? People ask this in nuclear families and long-term marriages too. What is the healthiest way to help, even your grown children, adjust to a change in the family configuration? How, when, and what do you communicate to the kids? This is great stuff for one of...2016-04-1225 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition10 Heartbreak HotelLove can take a bite out of you no matter what your history or current status! Just because you’ve been through this before does not mean you are immune to the accompanying fear when risking in love. Beth takes you through three reminders on how to avoid heartache and three tips for dealing with heartbreak after the fact. Read the complete show notes at midlifelovebytes.com. Become part of the community and discussion on facebook: Midlife Love Bytes.Subscribe and leave a "love note" in the Rate and Review section on iTunes. No matter how you do...2016-04-0728 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition9 The BIG Lonely and other ToughiesLoneliness strikes in relationship and during singleness. Empty nest, divorce, the cold of Minnesota winter, foreclosure, and no dog conspire to create the most desolate lonely of Beth's life. Hear the story and explore the psychology behind coping mechanisms, (learn why alcohol is a poor one and cigarettes are more effective) and discover how Zumba and dancing at Zorba's on Gull Lake may have been a life line during this darkest winter. Maybe you can relate to how "right thought" and healthy action can work together to help anyone weather the worst. In the reflection, Beth shares how examination...2016-03-2927 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition8 Mindul Relating; how 40 days of meditation can go terribly right!Beth talks with John Harrison, LPCC as he shares the real-life adventure of 40 days of meditation. Learn how establishing this relationship with self sets the stage for great relationship with others. John tells it realistically: the struggles, the challenges, the inner chatter, (also known as "monkey mind") during his practice of meditation. He introduces his Intuition Coaching, designed to get people in touch with their own inner GPS, to help guide them toward the good life and good love they deserve. Complete show notes at midlifelovebytes.com Subscribe and Rate & Review at iTunes. Better yet, tell your friends. This...2016-03-1728 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition7 Stop TALKING!Wonder why your communication breaks down in your intimate and close relationships? Learn how the common text and subtext of so much of human talking makes it so hard to establish and maintain a sense of empathy and closeness. Beth presents her trademarked formula: Clean, Non-Blaming communication or CNBC, explaining how this four-step process helps you strengthen your parasympathetic nervous system. It can shift relationship, invite both participants into responsibility, and does it with respect and value for each. This is an overview of the rules, guidelines for the process, and a demonstration using a common conflict between...2016-03-1527 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition6 Love and Loss are Married FOREVERBeth Luwandi Lofstrom, LPC explores the complex relationship between love and loss. After enduring significant grief, one's ability and willingness to love is altered permanently. She tells the very personal story of losing her closest sister and how it impacted her willingness and ability to love and what events marked her healing. Punctuated with four music tracks from her sister, Mary Lofstrom, jazz vocalist and founder of Shimmering Fishbelly Music (here used by permission) this weaving together of story, psychology, grief, healing, hope, and pain will let you know once and for all that choosing to love again is...2016-03-1028 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition5 Sex, Love, and SleepBeth Luwandi LPC and Stephen J Billmann, PsyD, D,ABSM have a conversation about the relationship of sleep, sex, and love. Cincinnati's ONLY Board-Certified Sleep Psychologist for adults, Steve shares answers to dilemmas of how sleep changes (or doesn't) as we get a little older, negotiate with a partner, and mindfully accept reality. His treatment for insomnia is evidence-based, medication-free, and won't ruin your relationship! Like Beth's Dating, Mating, and Relating specialty for couples and individuals, this treatment is perfect for successful professionals who are already driven to do well. He presents the possibility of embracing an above-average grade...2016-03-0424 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition4 Ladies ONLYLearn how to make attraction work for you. Beth outlines the psychology behind what men find attractive. More than the beauty ideal, learn what he really thinks of your body and what traits of emotional maturity he values most. Beth reveals the one very common "good thing" good women routinely do to mess up their love relationships and drive good men away. It can lead to divorce and enormous heartache. Thankfully also included is the solution that makes good love possible. Burning question answered about when and how to tell a man about a physical issue. Whether in dating...2016-03-0125 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition3 For MEN ONLYBeth shares three crucial secrets of the female psyche that will give you understanding to get leverage in dating, mating, and relating. Burning Question answered about why women just want the Bad Boy. Real communication and relationship hacks to please your woman.2016-02-2527 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition2 Your Online ProfileBeth Luwandi, LPC outlines why and how to use online dating and your profile to make quality connections with relationship-minded candidates. What to avoid. What to do now! Write an effective, attractive profile. Use your photos to further your message. Burning question from a woman wondering about maintaining multiple connections and when to take the profile down. Specific guide to crafting online dating profile content.2016-02-1225 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition1 Midlife Dating BasicsBeth Luwandi LPC takes you through first steps to successful midlife dating and relating. Examine silly notions about romance and love, stop asking stupid questions and replace them with helpful, productive ones. Clarify what you want in order to begin looking for it. Burning question from a man asking about dating younger women or someone in his same life stage.2016-02-1225 min
Midlife Love Bytes! | Relationship | Insight | Psychology | Healthy Love | Transition0 Intro to content and hostIntroducing: wisdom in midlife dating, mating, & relating by Beth Luwandi, Licensed Professional Counselor and Life Coach in Cincinnati, Ohio. It's all about having the best love of your life NOW...even if you've been married for a long time. We'll cover attraction, connection, and relationship. Other topics include: online dating, healthy sex and love, blending families, spicing things up, effective communication, real attraction, healing and preventing heartache plus more. Lots of great FREE wisdom and techniques to use today in all your relationships and connections. Panels and interviews with experts and specialists around the country and locally. Answers to...2016-02-1204 min