Shows
Smutty ScripturesCrescent City 2 (Part Two)-Strangely Intimate Feet SoupIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they reenter Crescent City (Book 2, part 2) hand in hand with Sarah J Maas! The gang discusses the Astronomers human soup, who we think Agent Daybright is, and hot mermaid zaddys.
2024-11-101h 12Smutty ScripturesCrescent City 2 (Part One)-Ruhn Danaan knew Three ThingsIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they reenter Crescent City (Book 2, part 1) hand in hand with Sarah J Maas! The gang discusses wanting to smoke mithroot with Ruhn, if we can trust Hunt, and what the hell Danika still has to do with the plot....
2024-10-131h 16Smutty ScripturesRequiem for Immortals (Complete Read)- John Wick Meets Credence?In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they visit a symphony to hire a hitwoman with particular attention to detail in Requiem for Immortals by Lee Winter! The gang explores the groups first sapphic romance and makes comparisons to both John Wick and the book Credence by Penelope Douglas.
2024-09-2952 minSmutty ScripturesPraise (Complete Read)- Becoming your Ex-Boyfriends New Step MomIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they become official members of the salacious players club with Praise by Sarah Cate! We discuss age gap relationships, when forbidden romance tension takes too long to break, and what a healthy dom and sub relationship should be like.
2024-09-151h 04Smutty ScripturesBinding Rose (Complete Read)- Nightmare Blunt RotationIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures", join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they explore reverse harem and mafia romance from the novel Binding Rose by Ivy Fox! We discuss the similarities in this book to ones we've visited in the past such as Den of Vipers, how this group of authors making this series feels like a personal attack on head priest Blue, and if this is some of the worst smut we have ever read....
2024-09-0859 minSmutty ScripturesEnsnared (Complete Read)-Peeing on Your Boyfriends Carpet In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they venture into the groups first Monster/Alien romance: Ensnared by Tiffany Roberts! We discuss butt ropes, our alien or monster crushes in other media, and if sex toys are a tax write off for spicy authors.
2024-08-181h 10Smutty ScripturesGothikana (Complete Read)- Car Sex, Potential Cousin Fucking, and Seeing Ghosts During the ActTW: SA/Suicide/Mental Health/In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they get wine drunk and explore the murder mystery romance of Gothikana by RuNyx! The gang discusses how quick a body decays, if AI book covers are the future, and if a teacher who has already slept with a student in their past is ACTUALLY a forbidden romance.
2024-08-041h 42Smutty ScripturesA Court of Wings and Ruin (Complete Reread): War Crimes, Hate Fucking, and Dying for New Coats In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they continue their ACOTAR reread with book 3: A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah j. Maas! The gang discusses if Feyre is actually a good artist or not, if the scene of Rhy and Feyre making love in a war camp is worse than her being glamoured in book one, and our debate on Lucien Vs Azriel as Elains future partner!
2024-04-281h 12Smutty ScripturesA Court of Mist and Fury (Complete Reread): Chapter 54 vs Chapter 55!In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they journey into arguably the best book in the ACOTAR series for a reread: A Court of Mist and Fury! The gang falls back in love with Rhys as we are transported back to Prythian and discuss all things chapter 54 & 55! Hear some interesting POVs from Purple, who cant handle anything sticky, and from Cuddle, who never wants their characters to make love and only to fuck.
2024-04-0759 minSmutty ScripturesA Touch of Darkness (Complete Read): Is it a Trope or Personal Trauma?In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as the gang reads A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Clair for their first early release episode (originally a patreon drop!) Be warned there are a few spoilers to ACOTAR and TW for SA but this one was a wild ride for all the myth loving baddies out there. The themes of this episode are miscommunication, how consent is sexy, and the discrepancies in Hades and Persephone lore.
2024-03-241h 17Smutty ScripturesA Court Of Thorns and Roses (Complete Reread): Rhys is a Child Predator?In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they reread the series that started it all for the podcast: ACOTAR! We are starting our reread journey just in time as we near the one year anniversary of the pod this month! We reenter the Sarah Maas-i-verse and heavily debate if Tamlin deserves a redemption arc, if Rhysand's and Feyre's age gap is problematic, and if we believe Sarah and Margot Robbie ACTUALLY met up to discuss a show finally coming...
2024-03-111h 12Smutty ScripturesCrescent City: House of Earth and Blood (Complete Read): Bryce is Best Girl TW: SA ACOTAR SPOILERS! In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive even further into the Sarah J Maas universe with book one of Crescent City: House of Earth and Blood! We fall in love with all the twists, turns, and amazing friendships. Today we discuss how Sarah will never show us a wedding, will give all of her male characters the worst trauma we can fathom, and how she has a strangely intimate approach to.... feet?
2024-02-251h 02Smutty ScripturesCredence (Complete Read): Quasi Incestuousness!In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they head into a snowy mountain retreat with Credence by Penelope Douglas. We enjoy this one from a critical lens and also from a place of denial as our main character Tiernan fails to beat teen pregnancy with her step-cousin. That's it, that's the plot.
2024-02-111h 07Smutty ScripturesPriest (Complete Read): I Spank My Betrothed and Vacuum the Carpet In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they are taken to church by Sierra Simone, author of Priest. The gang added wine to this session so our topics range from: Is confession meant to be sexy? Does Paul Bettany show his ass too much? And are these Cuddles or Blues Goodread reviews?
2024-01-211h 07Smutty ScripturesFourth Wing (Complete Read): Smutty Scriptures- It's Cheaper Than Therapy! In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they fly into Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros (complete read)! We discuss our description preferences in smut writing, reveal we all spoiled one aspect of this story to another podcast member... and officially announce our new Patreon full of bonus episodes and live recordings!
2024-01-071h 17Smutty ScripturesUnhinged & Kidnapped by Gladiators(Complete Read): If I Give Birth to an Acorn, I am Going to Lose itIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they read two short stories: Unhinged by Vera Valentine and Kidnapped by Gladiators by Mona Styles. Blue, Purple, and Cuddle fight about the best smut we have read so far, the practical implications of sentients can of soup, and the fate of Blues copy of Den Of Vipers.
2023-12-2458 minSmutty ScripturesHaunting Adeline (Complete Read): Ordering Your Stalker Off of Temu?In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they devour the first book in the Haunting Adeline series by H.D. Carlton all in one sitting! We discuss "Millennialisms", if having relations in a car is JUST for teens, and lazy stalkers who don't support your dreams...
2023-12-101h 19Smutty ScripturesFrom Blood and Ash (Complete Read): Boner-ability and the Friends we Drank Along the Way In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they devour the first book in the From Blood and Ash series by Jennifer Armentrout all in one sitting! We get distracted by Baldur's Gate 3 talk, ACOTAR spoilers, and how I definitely did NOT say boner-ability instead of vulnerability... but I will let you guys decide what was actually said.
2023-11-261h 17Smutty ScripturesKingdom of Ash (ToG series) 67-THE END: On to Season Two!In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the final episode of season 1; finally finishing off the Throne of Glass series (Kingdom of Ash 67-THE END)! Join us in a hilarious read along as we discuss Sarah J Maas math, our generational (millennial and gen z) divide, and the future of the Throne of Glass series/general Maas-o-verse.
2023-11-121h 19Smutty ScripturesKingdom of Ash (ToG series) PART ONE 1-67: Torture, Bullying Illiterate Kids, and Romantic PokemonWarning- ACOTAR SPOILERS + TW: SAIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the penultimate episode of season 1 of our podcast; finally finishing off the Throne of Glass series (Kingdom of Ash 1-67)! Join us in a hilarious read along as we discuss Purple's inability to relate to non-animals, being a man for a day, and how Rowan probably smells like mint.
2023-10-221h 40Smutty ScripturesEmpire of Storms & Tower of Dawn (ToG series) TANDEM READ 53-THE END: The Valg is NOT the Vagina *Warning- ACOTAR SPOILERS*In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the tandem read of the 6th and 7th installment of the Throne of Glass series: Empire of Storms (54-the end) & Tower of Dawn (43-the end)! Join us in a hilarious read-along discussion of these two books as we prepare for our final journey with Aelin and the gang. We have a lot of thoughts on all the couples this section as we transition from YA to just... A!
2023-10-081h 47Smutty ScripturesEmpire of Storms & Tower of Dawn (ToG series) TANDEM READ 24-53: Toe Wiggling and Sexual TensionIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the tandem read of the 6th and 7th installment of the Throne of Glass series: Empire of Storms (24-53) & Tower of Dawn (23-42)! Join us in a hilarious read-along discussion of these two books as Cuddle falls back in love with Chaol and Purple figures our some crazy plot moments coming up.... I apologize in advanced for the cat sounds. I edited most of them out but head priests cat Somber is LOUD.
2023-09-251h 53Smutty ScripturesEmpire of Storms & Tower of Dawn (ToG series) TANDEM READ 1-23: Kitten Play and Underwater Dolphin RacingIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the tandem read of the 6th and 7th installment of the Throne of Glass series: Empire of Storms (1-23) & Tower of Dawn (1-21)! Join us in a read-along discussion of these two books
2023-09-101h 33Smutty ScripturesQueen of Shadows (ToG series) Chapters 48-THE END: Watery Bowels, Cutting to Ribbons, and Blowing Chunks In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the fourth installment of the Throne of Glass series: Queen of Shadows chapters 48-the end! Lysandra has quickly become the groups favorite as they prepare for the big TANDEM READ of book 5-6!
2023-08-271h 22Smutty ScripturesQueen of Shadows (ToG series) chapters 1-47: Hot Ass Santa meets PorknBeans!In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the fourth installment of the Throne of Glass series: Queen of Shadows chapters 1 through 47. Our sisters in sin have some of her most off-the=wall nicknaming moments and interesting comparisons... Sorry for the slight episode delay y'all! Head Priest Blue wants to thank you for your forgiveness of their sins of losing track of time
2023-08-141h 43Smutty ScripturesAssassin's Blade (ToG Prequel) COMPLETE STORY: Assassin Daddy & Lavender Soap In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they venture into and complete the prequel of the Throne of Glass series: Assassin's Blade by Sarah J. Maas.! We might have some problematic ideas about a Celeana X Sam X Arobynn scene... Do you feel the same?
2023-07-301h 10Smutty ScripturesHeir of Fire (ToG series) Chapters 36-THE END: Critical Thinking Skills Are SEXYIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the thrilling fantasy world of Heir of Fire (TOG series book 3) by Sarah J. Maas. The team dives deep into Chapters 36- the end and have many thoughts on the building romantic tension, witches, and the fire breathing bitch queen.
2023-07-161h 24Smutty ScripturesDen of Vipers chapter 35-THE END: If He Went to Therapy, He Wouldn't Be HotIn this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the end of Den of Vipers by K.A. Knight! Follow us down the rabbit hole as the gang explores kinks, tattoos, and crime!
2023-07-021h 09Smutty ScripturesHeir of Fire (ToG series) Chapters 1-35: Browan Appears!In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the third installment of the Throne of Glass series: Heir of Fire chapters 1 through 35. The gang actually has a lot of similar thoughts as they do their read along discussion about witches with iron teeth and sky puppies!
2023-06-181h 09Smutty ScripturesDen of Vipers Chapters 1-35: I've Got a Type, and it's Problematic!In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into dark romance through Den of Vipers chapters 1 through 35. This is definitely our smuttiest episode yet! The group has some good to say and some bad to say but its all in good fun. Next episode we are back to your regularly scheduled programing with the TOG series!
2023-06-041h 05Smutty ScripturesCrown of Midnight (ToG series) 35- THE END: Strangely Intimate In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the thrilling fantasy world of Crown of Midnight (TOG series book 2) by Sarah J. Maas. Chapters 35-56 (the end) show just how desperate the trio is for spice... and feet pics?
2023-05-211h 27Smutty ScripturesCrown of Midnight (TOG series) Chapters 15-34: MOMMY ISSUES PT 2In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the thrilling fantasy world of Crown of Midnight (TOG series book 2) by Sarah J. Maas. Chapters 15-34 cause Blue and Cuddle to get EXTRA feisty in this weeks episode!
2023-05-071h 39Smutty ScripturesCrown of Midnight (TOG series) chapters 1-14: MOMMY ISSUES In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the thrilling fantasy world of Crown of Midnight (TOG series book 2) by Sarah J. Maas. This episode will be a read-along laugh out loud discussion of chapters 1 through 14 of the novel.
2023-04-231h 19Smutty ScripturesThrone of Glass Chapters 31-55 DISCUSSION In this episode of "Smutty Scriptures," join best friends Blue, Cuddle, and Purple as they dive into the thrilling fantasy world of Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas. This episode will be a read-along laugh out loud discussion of chapters 31 through 55 of the novel.
2023-04-091h 12Smutty ScripturesThrone of Glass Chapters 1-31 DISCUSSION! In this first test episode three best friends named Blue, Cuddle, and Purple get together to discuss the current book series they are reading; Throne of Glass! Join us in a read-along discussion of the first book "Throne of Glass" from chapters 1-31 told from the perspective of three best friends who consider themselves "Sarah J Maasochists".
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