Choose Recovery Services - Alana Gordon And Amie Woolsey

Shows

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingIs Your Patience Being Honored or Exploited?Are you struggling with patience in your recovery journey? This week Amie and Alana delve into the nuanced concept of patience, its role in healing from betrayal, and how to cultivate it healthily. Learn to balance patience with reality, recognize unhealthy patterns, and empower yourself to know when your patience is being honored and when it’s not.Register Now!Should I Stay Or Go? Struggling with whether to stay in your relationship or leave? Amie’s self-paced, step-by-step course helps you work through your feelings, face your fears, and figure out what you r...2025-06-1732 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingGrieving Together: The Missing Step in Relationship Healing After BetrayalHow do couples navigate shared grief and rebuild their relationship after betrayal? This week Amie and Alana explore the phases of healing, particularly focusing on shared grief in Phase Two. Listen in as Alana shares a personal example of shared grief in her life, and learn how grieving together can create greater empathy, emotional stability, and a stronger partnership.Register Now!Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, empowerment, a...2025-06-1028 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingFear of Grief OverwhelmAre you struggling with the overwhelming emotions of grief? In this episode, Amie and Alana dive deep into the complexities of grief and explore practical strategies to manage its intensity. They discuss the importance of grounding techniques, pacing oneself, and the dual awareness concept to navigate through grief in a healthy and balanced way. Listen in for insightful advice on moving forward without drowning in your emotions.Coming up!Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they hea...2025-05-2735 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingUntangling Your Worth: Reclaiming Your Value After BetrayalHave you ever felt lost or questioned your value after experiencing a betrayal? Join Amie and Alana as they unpack the profound impact of betrayal on self-worth and identity, sharing personal stories and providing insights to reclaim your sense of self.Learn how to navigate the complex layers of trauma, heal from within, and build a stronger foundation of intrinsic worth and value.Register Now!The Body Awakened: A Brainspotting Journey to Healing - Join Amie for a three-day, in-person intensive for women on April 10-12, 2025. Experience Brainspotting, learn how to get back...2025-03-1835 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingNavigating ADHD and Demand Avoidance in RelationshipsThis week Luke Gordon joins Alana as he opens up about living with ADHD and demand avoidance. Luke and Alana explore how these dynamics impact their interactions and the steps they take to maintain a balanced and empathetic relationship. This episode offers a real-time glimpse into their ongoing journey individually and relationally of self-awareness, accountability, and mutual support. Luke Gordon is a certified addiction recovery and betrayal trauma coach and co-founder of Choose Recovery Services. Listen to his podcast Beyond the Facade or schedule a free consultation. Register Now! The Body...2025-01-2827 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingFrom Triggered to Grounded: Tools for Managing Betrayal Trauma TriggersSometimes it can feel like triggers are overwhelming and impossible to handle. Listen in as Amie and Alana explore triggers - what causes them, why they persist, and most importantly, how to manage them in a healthy way. Together they share their personal experiences with triggers and outline several exercises and tools for emotional regulation that you can implement immediately in your healing journey. Referenced in this episode: Trauma on the Brain and Body - With Jody VanDrimmelen Register Now! The Body Awakened: A Brainspotting Journey to Healing...2025-01-2144 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingFinding Freedom in Boundaries - With Laura FisherDo you feel like you’re not doing boundaries “right,” or you worry that your boundaries aren’t working? Join Alana and special guest Laura Fisher (fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services) as they discuss the critical importance of boundaries in recovering from betrayal trauma. Learn about differentiating requests from boundaries, the importance of understanding your personal values, and the empowering effect boundaries can have for both partners. Laura provides insightful analogies and strategies for separating behaviors from people, understanding what makes boundaries truly effective, and learning to trust yourself in the process. Learn more about La...2025-01-1442 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingThe Healing Your Body HoldsWhat happens in your body when you hear difficult conversations about narcissism, betrayal trauma, and abuse? Join Amie and Alana this week as they address emotionally charged topics and how those topics can trigger strong reactions in both your body and mind. Listen in as they share insights about the importance of paying attention to your body’s responses and as they explain how these natural reactions can actually guide you on your healing journey. Coming Up! Brainspotting Intensive - Join Amie for a three-day, in-person intensive on April 10-12, 2025. Experience Brainspotting, learn ho...2025-01-0725 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingUnderstanding Personality Disorders - With Alexandra Repke PhD, CSAT, C-PD, CAIMHP (Part 1)Are you struggling to understand the complex world of personality disorders and their impact on relationships? Join Amie and Alana as they speak with Alexandra Repke, a licensed psychologist (PhD, CSAT, C-PD, CAIMHP), who breaks down the myths and realities of personality disorders, especially in the context of addiction and betrayal. Learn about the different types of personality disorders, how they affect connections, and gain insights into treatment approaches that offer hope for healing. Learn more about Alexandra Repke. Coming Up! Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a thr...2024-12-1750 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingListener Question: How Can I Feel Good When I'm in Survival Mode?Do you feel like you’re barely able to keep your head above water and wonder if you’ll ever feel good again? Join Amie and Alana this week as they explore the challenges that come from living in survival mode. Explore the impact of staying in unsafe environments and learn the importance of radical acceptance and self-awareness. Understand how your body responds to emotional trauma and learn about tools and mindsets that can help you whether you choose to stay or go in your relationship. Referenced in this episode: Brainspotting Intensive - Join...2024-12-1034 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingAre All Cheaters Narcissists?The word “narcissist” gets thrown around a lot, but is that label even helpful? Join Amie and Alana this week as they invite Gary Katz to weigh in on this important topic. Gary is a certified sex addiction therapist as well as the founder of the Center for Intimacy Recovery in New York. Together they unpack the nuances of labeling behavior, the risks of misdiagnosis, the profound impact of betrayal trauma, and practical tools for recovery. Referenced in this episode: Learn more about Gary Katz. ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - Hali Rod...2024-12-0349 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingREPLAY - Couples Healing After Infidelity, Cheating, or Sexual AddictionJoin us this week as we revisit one of our most popular episodes from 2022. The road to recovery can be a long and difficult road. When you don't know where you are headed and how to get there, it can feel even more daunting. Join Alana, Amie, and their guest, Luke Gordon, as they unpack the stages of individual and relational healing. They emphasize the necessity of humility, transparency, vulnerability, and empathy. Whether your partner is participating in recovery or not, learn actionable strategies and gain hope for a journey towards trust, emotional stability, and g...2024-11-191h 08

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingMyths of Sexual Addiction - With Luke Gordon (Part 3)Join us in the third and final part of our series on the myths of sexual addiction. Alana, Amie, and Luke explore common misconceptions surrounding pornography use, forgiveness vs trust, and disclosure vs discovery. Tune in for insights and tools crucial to navigating sexual addiction and relational healing. Myths we tackle in this episode: “I only have a problem if I get caught.” “If my partner forgives me then we can go back to the way things were.” “Looking at pornography isn’t a big deal.” “At least I’m not...2024-09-1737 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingMyths of Sexual Addiction - With Luke Gordon (Part 2)In part two of this series, Amie, Alana, and Luke continue their conversation around sexual addiction myths. They tackle the myth that someone can control or recover from sexual addiction without professional help. They also explore the importance of having a solid support system as well as a growth mindset. Listen to learn: The pitfalls that can come when you don’t involve professionals in your recovery What is meant by “recovery capital” What to look for in a professional What recovery looks like as an ongoing process Refe...2024-09-1022 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingMyths of Sexual Addiction - With Luke Gordon (Part 1)Amie and Alana are excited to welcome back guest Luke Gordon to tackle myths surrounding sexual addiction and recovery. Together they explore misconceptions about sobriety, the impact of acting-in behaviors, and the complexities of healing for both addicts and betrayed partners. This discussion provides essential information for anyone navigating the challenges of addiction and healing in relationships. Listen to learn: The difference between sobriety and true recovery What “acting-in” behaviors are The distinction between high sex drive and sexual addiction Why hating your sexuality is counterproductive to recov...2024-09-0342 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBetrayal Trauma Myths Part 2Join us for part two of our series on debunking trauma recovery myths. In this episode, Amie and Alana tackle MORE common myths that can hinder healing such as "if the addict stops acting out, the betrayed partner will automatically get better," "separation always leads to divorce," and "boundaries shame the acting out partner." They provide insightful explanations for why these beliefs are inaccurate and offer healthier perspectives to support genuine healing and recovery. Find part 1 HERE. Listen to learn: Why sobriety doesn’t equal recovery Why stopping the behavior doesn’t au...2024-08-2755 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBetrayal Trauma Myths Part 1In the world of betrayal trauma, sometimes it can be hard to distinguish fact from fiction. In this week’s episode, Amie and Alana strive to do just that. They debunk common misconceptions about forgiveness, trust, moving on, and the roles of both partners in recovery. Tune in to hear valuable insights that challenge your beliefs and guide you in navigating the complex landscape of betrayal trauma with greater confidence and understanding. Watch us on YouTube. Listen to learn: What myths you may believe that are keeping you stuck Why...2024-08-2036 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingThe Power of Healthy Self-TalkAre you struggling with negative self-talk after experiencing betrayal? You are not alone! This week Amie and Alana explore the importance of healthy self-talk in your healing journey. Join them as they share personal experiences and practical strategies for recognizing negative thought patterns and replacing them with empowering beliefs that will help you cultivate a kinder, more positive inner dialogue. Listen to learn: Why healthy self-talk is foundational to healing Where negative self-talk stems from Common disempowering thoughts you may have How to rewire your brain to emb...2024-08-1333 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingAcceptance When They Aren't Doing the Work to HealIn the aftermath of betrayal, some partners commit to the hard work of healing and change, while others fall short. This episode speaks directly to those grappling with the realization that their partner isn’t doing the necessary work. Amie and Alana explore the stages of grief that often accompany this reality, and they offer practical advice on moving through grief toward awareness, acceptance, and agency. Listen to learn: What mindsets will keep you stuck when your partner isn’t doing the work The role grief plays in this process Ho...2024-08-0634 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhat Does "Consistency Over Time" Mean?It’s hard to know what you can expect from your partner when trying to repair a relationship that has been affected by betrayal. However, one thing you CAN look for is consistency over time. But what does that really mean? This week Amie and Alana explore the topic of consistency over time and give you six main areas where you can watch for that consistency as you and your partner work to rebuild trust and safety in the relationship once again. Listen to learn: What the six elements are where you can exp...2024-07-3040 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTrusting Too Soon?Are you struggling with trusting your partner after betrayal? This week Amie and Alana discuss where to even begin when it comes to trusting again. They give valuable insight on recognizing patterns, establishing safety, and taking wise steps toward healing. If you find yourself trusting too soon or wondering why it’s taking so long for you to trust again, this episode is for you. Listen to learn: Why trusting too early can be harmful The importance of rebuilding self-trust Understanding how the abuse cycle relates to trust ...2024-07-2336 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTrauma on the Brain and Body - With Jody VanDrimmelenWhen we experience trauma, our brains and bodies react in complex and automatic ways designed to protect us. In this episode, we revisit a conversation we had in 2022 with Jody VanDrimmelen, a licensed clinical social worker. Jody breaks down the science behind trauma responses and offers practical strategies for healing. Learn how to listen to and appreciate your brain and body’s unique responses to trauma and how your recovery can lead to resilience and personal transformation. Listen to learn: The trauma responses you may experience (including two new ones!) Top-down vs...2024-07-1634 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingFirst Steps to Healing When Your World ShattersAre you reeling from the discovery of your partner’s betrayal? This episode offers a lifeline for those newly facing the storm of infidelity. Join Alana as she explores common emotional reactions, debunks self-blame myths, and offers practical advice on stabilization and self-care. Whether you’re experiencing betrayal or supporting someone who is, this episode provides valuable insights and compassionate guidance for the challenging road ahead. Listen to learn: Common emotional reactions to betrayal Why self-blame is misplaced The importance of stabilization and self-care The value of findi...2024-07-0932 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTips for Healing After Betrayal - With Laura FisherLace up those dancing shoes because there’s a new acronym in town - SHAWN B! In a past episode we talked all about NOT dancing with Walter. In this week’s episode we introduce you to the partner you SHOULD dance with - SHAWN B. Join Alana and our guest, Laura Fisher (a fellow Choose Recovery Services coach), as they talk about the betrayed experience and give you a helpful framework for navigating relational challenges. Discover how this acronym can give you practical tools to use as you navigate your healing journey. Listen to lear...2024-07-0249 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingDoes He Even Think Of Me?When your partner has a sexual addiction, it can be confusing and incredibly painful. Join Amie and Alana as they tackle a listener’s question about whether their partner thinks about them during these acting out times. While the answer to that question is painful either way and you may feel the impulse to try to micromanage and control your partner, there is a better way. Listen in to discover the transformative power of choosing yourself and your own healing regardless of your partner’s actions. Listen to learn: How compartmentalization comes into play...2024-06-2530 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingShould I Stay or Go?One of the most agonizing questions after a betrayal is, “Should I stay or go?” In this episode, Amie and Alana delve into the complex process of determining the answer to that question. Learn how to confront your fears and conscientiously choose the right path for you - whether that’s rebuilding the relationship or starting anew. Listen to learn: Why there is no inherent right or wrong answer when choosing whether to stay or go How to explore your fears, hopes, and values as you make this critical decision What...2024-06-1837 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWho Should I Tell and Not Tell?When betrayal strikes, the question of “Who do I tell?” weighs heavily. In this episode, Amie and Alana provide a roadmap through this complex decision as they talk about finding emotional safety and trusting your intuition. Whether you’re just beginning your journey or are further along, this conversation provides a compassionate and nuanced perspective on who to confide in during this vulnerable time. Listen to learn: Strategies for determining who is and is not emotionally safe to confide in How to respond if someone can’t hold space for your full sto...2024-06-1124 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingLoving Yourself First and Through the HardHow do you love yourself first AND do the hard things? In this episode, Amie shares personal experiences and offers powerful perspectives on truly nurturing yourself through life’s chaos. You’ll learn practical tips for self-compassion, setting boundaries, and making time for yourself. This episode will give you the courage to turn inward as you foster internal resilience and well-being in your healing journey. Listen to learn: Why real love requires freedom for authenticity The link between self-love and secure attachment How to shift from occasional indulgences to consistent self-respect ...2024-06-0430 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingSeparation - A Pathway to Healing With Luke GordonIt can feel soul-crushing if your partner asks for a separation, but what if it’s actually an opportunity in disguise? This week Amie is a guest on Luke Gordon’s podcast. Luke is a men’s emotional health coach and cofounder at Choose Recovery Services. Listen in as Luke and Amie talk about how couples can use separation as a catalyst for profound individual healing and growth which can bring about lasting change in their relationship. Listen to learn: How separation can be beneficial and even necessary for healing and reintegration Why...2024-05-2830 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingVictim to Chooser - Part 1Do you feel stuck in the cycle of victimhood after betrayal, believing thoughts like, “I’ll never trust again” or “I’m not enough”? In this week’s episode, Amie walks us through the “Victim to Chooser” framework sharing the progressive stages she sees clients navigate towards healing and wholeness. Listen in to see if you have thought patterns that are leaving you stuck in the first two stages, and be sure to tune in next week to learn more about the other two stages. Amie will help you feel seen, validated, and hopeful as you learn to move through the...2024-05-1437 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWill I Ever Heal? What Helps and What HindersDo you feel stuck wondering if you will ever heal from betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode Amie and Alana share their own experiences grappling with that exact question. They provide wisdom and practical tools for aiding your healing process whether you are just starting out or are further along the path. You can and will heal - as you keep taking those crucial next steps. Listen to learn: How proper self-care can promote recovery The importance of somatic/body-based healing work How self-judgment and denial can hinder progress 2024-05-0736 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing"If He Would Just..." Why This Keeps You Both StuckDo you find yourself imagining all the ways things would be better “if he would just…”? If so, you’re not alone! In this episode Amie and Alana dive into this disempowering mindset and provide wisdom on shifting your thinking by focusing on what you can control. Gain clarity as they share candid examples and advice on how to take your next empowered steps regardless of the things your partner is or is not doing. Listen to learn: How to recognize when you’re stuck under the “if” umbrella How to focus on personal respo...2024-04-3030 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingStepping Into Authenticity - with Luke GordonWe all wear masks at times, but hiding your true self is exhausting and inauthentic. In this week’s episode we welcome back Luke Gordon. Luke opens up about his personal battles with hiding behind false versions of himself. He describes how he was finally able to deepen relationships when he stepped into vulnerability, integrity, and authenticity. Listen to learn: What true authenticity is and isn’t How authenticity is “earned and learned” The reward in choosing short-term pain for long-term gains How to reach sustainable growth and peace within yo...2024-04-2322 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingADHD is Not An Excuse But An Explanation - with Luke GordonIs your partner using ADHD or another diagnosis to excuse deception and bad behavior? In this episode, Alana and Amie welcome Luke Gordon (cofounder of Choose Recovery Services and certified betrayal trauma coach) back to their podcast. Luke gives his perspective on how ADHD can explain certain behaviors but should never be weaponized or used as an excuse for acting out. This episode will get you thinking about the interplay of mental health, healing, accountability, and recovery. Listen to learn: The difference between using a mental health diagnosis as a valid explanation vs an excuse...2024-04-1640 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhy Addicts Need To Do Their Work Part II; Helping Children Heal with Luke GordonHave you ever felt so overwhelmed by the damage caused by your addiction that giving up seemed like the only option? In this episode, Luke Gordon, cofounder and coach at Choose Recovery Services, as well as a father in recovery, opens up about grappling with feelings of hopelessness when facing attachment wounds inflicted on his children because of his addictive behaviors. Amie, Alana, and Luke discuss the crucial work of healing your own attachment trauma while simultaneously repairing the parent-child bond. Listen to learn: Why addicts must examine their own attachment wounds and...2024-03-1933 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhy the Addict Needs to Do Their Own Attachment Work - with Luke GordonThis week we are excited to welcome Luke Gordon to the podcast! Luke is an emotional health coach and cofounder of Choose Recovery Services who specializes in helping men overcome unwanted sexual compulsive behaviors. Luke shares how disruptions in our earliest childhood attachments form the foundation for later challenges like addiction, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and struggles with emotional intimacy. With raw vulnerability, Luke shares his own journey and provides insight into the harrowing yet rewarding work of exploring attachment wounds and family dynamics. Listen to learn: How early childhood wounds can manifest in...2024-03-1231 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingNot Pretending, Being Authentic and Owning Your ExperienceDo you ever feel like you have to pretend to be happy in your relationship? Are you tired of hiding your true feelings just to keep the peace? Join Amie and Alana as they talk about the problems of inauthenticity and the benefits of embracing and expressing your real thoughts and emotions. Listen to learn: What authenticity is and why it is important in healing relationships The problem with feeling like you have to pretend with your partner How drawing four circles on a piece of paper can help you tap i...2023-12-0226 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingIs Recovery Work Being Weaponized?Betrayal is painful enough, but what if your partner uses their recovery against you? This week we dive into the complicated dynamics of betrayers weaponizing their healing. Join Amie and Alana as they explore the nuances of weaponizing recovery work including what it is, how to spot it, why it happens, and how you can protect yourself. *BIG disclaimer with this topic - weaponizing can go both ways, and this episode is not intended to be used against your partner either. Listen to learn: Specific examples of what weaponizing recovery work looks like ...2023-09-0542 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBonus Episode: Men's Help Her Heal and Why It's ImportantJoin Alana Gordon and Hali Roderick as we talk about the need for men to gain the skill set on how to help their wife heal after betrayal if they want relational healing. If you would like to learn more about the Help Her Heal Course, go to www.chooserecoveryservices.com. Help Her Heal for Men with Hali Roderick ⁠https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/help-her-heal/⁠ We are starting a new group called Help Her Heal, that teaches men about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. This group will offer...2023-09-0212 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingSay Hello To Your Vagus Nerve; Specific Ways to Relax Your Central Nervous SystemLast week we learned about the important role our nervous system plays in regulating our bodies. This week Amie and Alana are here to continue that conversation and to give you practical, tangible things you can do right now to help engage and relax your central nervous system. Tune in to learn: What bodily discomfort may be telling you. What to remember if the work you’re doing seems NOT to be working. Specific strategies you can implement on your own to regulate your nervous system. Ways a professional can help you activate the vagus nerve. Som...2023-08-2225 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingYour Amazing Nervous System Explained With KayLee DunnWe are excited to welcome Psychotherapist and Betrayal Navigation Coach, KayLee Dunn, to this week’s episode of Choose to Be. KayLee talks through the brain science behind trauma and will help you better understand your body’s survival responses and how to turn them into your superpower. With relatable personal examples, relevant research, and empathy for your experience, this is a valuable episode you won’t want to miss! Listen to Learn: What fight, flight, and freeze looks like and what you can do with it. How naming and noticing helps you begin...2023-08-1556 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhy Do I Feel Emotionally Detached?Many women suffering from betrayal not only emotionally detach from their partners, but they also detach from themselves. In preparation for next week’s episode with Mental Health Therapist, KayLee Dunn, Amie and Alana wanted to give you some ideas to think about, sit with, and journal on around the topic of emotional detachment. Listen to learn how you may be using emotional detachment as a coping mechanism while working through the devastating effects of betrayal. Tune in to learn: How disassociating helps you self-protect How disassociating connects to your childhood Why you do...2023-08-0821 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingGetting Curious About Hypervigilance👮 Do you find yourself policing your partner, feeling the need to repeatedly check their phone, their whereabouts, and their actions? First, this is NORMAL after betrayal, and second, this isn’t a place you want to stay long term. There ARE ways to let go of these habits in a way that will move you from feeling powerless to empowered. Amie and Alana break down the whys of hypervigilance as they encourage you to get curious about some of your behaviors after betrayal. Tune in to learn: What is causing your hypervigilance? What are s...2023-08-0137 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHow Can I Know The Difference Between A Trauma Response And My Intuition?Are triggers getting in the way of your ability to recognize your gut feelings? And what’s the difference between the two? After going through trauma, it can become confusing to distinguish between which feelings are legitimate alarm bells and what’s a false alarm. Amie and Alana share real life examples, relatable analogies, and helpful tips to help you get to the bottom of these feelings in this week’s episode. Tune in to learn: How to identify if you have safety in your relationship How regulating your emotions helps you tune into g...2023-07-2534 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingFinding Safe, Healthy Support To Help You HealThere’s no such thing as bad support, right? Wrong! Amie and Alana welcome you to a chat about times you may be getting “support” that isn’t truly supporting your healing journey. Find out what helps and what is holding you back when it comes to getting the support you need in this week’s episode of the Choose to Be Podcast. Tune in to learn: What does healthy and unhealthy support look like? What does it mean to have “friends of your marriage?” How to manage friendships wi...2023-07-1820 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingDeconstructing Gaslighting with Sarah MoralesAs a trailblazer and thought-leader in the field of gaslighting, Sarah Morales has redefined gaslighting to help reduce the stigmatization, fear, and powerlessness around the term. This week, Sarah joins Amie and Alana to share what gaslighting looks like, what it takes to repair a relationship with gaslighting, and whether or not chronic gaslighters are capable of healing. Don’t miss this episode to learn: Why those in recovery continue to gaslight. What you might be getting wrong about gaslighting and narcissism. How to tune into your head, heart, and gut when being gasl...2023-07-111h 02

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingThe Luxury Of Grief; Navigating your grief after betrayalHave you ever heard the saying, “Grief is a luxury for the brain that feels safe?” This is a quote from Dr. Jake Porter, and it might sound like an oxymoron, but it’s true! Amie and Alana share how grief is a luxury, and how you can’t get there unless you’re feeling safe within yourself, your body, and your emotions. Tune into this episode to learn: A quick review of the stages of grief How a separation from your partner gives you the space to grieve The connection between relational safety and...2023-07-0427 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhen Your Child Is Also Struggling With Pornography Use; With Jeremy Leavitt LMFTAre you navigating parenting a child who struggles with compulsive behaviors? For those who have experienced betrayal trauma, this can bring up a lot of fears, triggers, and concern. Amie and Alana are joined this week by special guest, Marriage and Family Therapist, Jeremy Leavitt, to discuss the exploratory and compulsive behaviors your children may be experiencing, and how you can help. Plus, listen to the end for the one potentially awkward question Jeremy recommends all parents ask their teens. In this episode you’ll learn more about: The four pillars of sobriety (Su...2023-06-2737 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTherapeutic Separation Part 4; What reintegration looks like, and what it doesn't with Luke GordonJoin us for part four of the four-part series on therapeutic separations. In this episode, Amie, Alana, and Luke break down the pieces of what the separation can entail to help work towards reunification and reintegration back into the home and relationship. They discuss what things to watch for, markers to know you might be ready, and what to do if your partner isn't doing their part. Is your relationship trying to heal from infidelity, sexual addiction, or other forms of betrayal? Whether you need couple support, individual help, or group work we can...2023-06-2039 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTherapeutic Separation; Part 3; Separation agreement questionsThis is part three of a four-part series on therapeutic separations. In this episode, Amie and Alana break down the pieces of a therapeutic agreement for separation. This agreement outlines the terms and conditions agreed upon by the couple as they undergo the separation process. It serves as a framework to establish clear boundaries, expectations, and goals. Listen to learn the 12 critical questions outlined in the agreement, including: What are the goals for the separation? What are the expectations for visiting each other’s living spaces? Who will be taking the children and when? When will you...2023-06-1330 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTherapeutic Separation; Part 2; How to prepare for separation with Luke GordonThis is part two of a four-part series on therapeutic separations. Last week Amie and Alana covered why you might need a separation and the feelings that come up while making this decision. This week, Luke Gordon joins to discuss how to prepare for a separation, and what to expect emotionally, mentally, and physically. Tune in to learn: How a marriage separation could benefit your relationship. Situations where it’s important to spend time apart. Fears you may experience when considering a separation. The importance of individual work through a separation. How to app...2023-06-0633 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTherapeutic Separations; Part 1; Is separation right for you?Considering a separation can feel daunting and intimidating. This episode is the first of a 4-part series on separation. In this episode, Amie and Alana walk you through the basics of what a separation actually is, the 4 types of separations you could consider, the benefits of spending some time apart, and what you need to think about when considering a separation. Amie and Alana will encourage you to pay attention to your body, your needs, and your safety as you navigate this difficult decision, and they’ll share examples of what separation looked and felt like in the...2023-05-3026 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBonus! Free Couples Road To Recovery for Couples Trying to Heal After Infidelity, Affairs, or Sexual AddictionAre you trying to heal you relationship after its been destroyed by lies, betrayal, infidelity, problematic sexual behaviors, or sexual addiction? Join us for a free Q&A and webinar the last Sunday of every month. Register by going to ChooseRecoveryServices.com Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services • Choose Betrayal Trauma Healing for Women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma such as depression, hypervigilance, anxiety, and lack of trust. As...2023-05-2503 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingI Feel Like I've Lost Myself Since Going Though Trauma. How Do I Find Myself Again?Going through something traumatic can feel like having a rug ripped out from underneath you, leaving you feeling disoriented and confused. It’s natural to lose trust in others and in yourself as you work through processing what has happened to you. In this episode, Alana will help you gain an understanding of how to find yourself again. Alana will share 8 essential steps to finding yourself after trauma, like: Acknowledging your experience with self-compassion Understanding and identifying useful coping mechanisms Establishing a new routine Rediscovering passions and interests And more! Alana gives you...2023-05-2318 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhen His Helping, Isn't Actually HelpingAs the partner who betrayed works through their recovery, we often see that they start to increase their efforts to help their partner. They may help out more with the kids, take the trash out without being asked, or bring home dinner when their partner is having a hard day. The betrayed partner may find themselves rejecting these efforts, which causes both partners to become frustrated, angry, and disconnected. The partner who betrayed starts wondering why these kind gestures aren’t working. On this episode of Choose to Be, we will talk about what to do...2023-05-0921 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhen You Are Afraid To Leave Them Alone; Navigating betrayal trauma healingWhen you find out that your partner has been acting out in sexually compulsive ways, it can feel scary and concerning to then leave them alone. Perhaps most of the sexually compulsive behavior was done while you were away, so of course you would feel worried leaving them alone. Join Amie and Alana today as they discuss what you can do when this situation is part of your journey. Finding support along your healing from betrayal is key and here at Choose Recovery Services, we want to give you the highest quality care, tools and...2023-05-0216 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTransfer Addiction or Cross Transfer Addiction; What is it, what you need to know about it, and how to be aware of it.These terms have been used to describe someone who is struggling with any addictive behavior and who becomes sober from that particular destructive addiction, and becomes addicted to another less destructive behavior. However, the root issue behind the addiction is yet to be resolved. We are describing this a compulsive sexual behavior transfer. So many of our clients will see their partner become sober from the compulsive sexual acting out behaviors, but become compulsive around another behavior such as video games, food, exercise, etc. What we are seeing is that, even though this is a...2023-04-2531 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingPracticing Acceptance To Help You Move ForwardAcceptance is a critical and difficult part of the healing process. Many people get stuck in acceptance, thinking that by accepting their reality it means they approve of their situation. Join Amie Woolsey this week as she shares the difference between acceptance and approval, and gives examples of what acceptance looks like. Tune in to learn: How acceptance is like teaching someone to drive. The role a support system has on gaining acceptance. The difference between facts and interpretation of facts. How acceptance leads to empowerment.2023-04-1827 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHonoring Yourself and Your VoiceHave you lost your voice? Do you believe that what you think and feel matters? It may be surprising to really think about your answers to those questions. In this episode, Amie and Alana discuss the importance of honoring your voice, honoring yourself, and honoring your needs to reclaim your voice. This episode covers topics like: How did your voice become minimized? Are you able to recognize your needs? What does self-acceptance look and feel like? What does honoring yourself look like? How does giving your emotions a voice help you honor yourself? What fears might...2023-04-1129 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTrusting Yourself First: Healing After Betrayal TraumaHow can you start to trust yourself again after betrayal? Being betrayed by a partner is traumatizing physiologically, emotionally, and mentally. This can leave trauma on your body even long after the betrayal has occurred. When you’ve had this kind of blow in your life, it affects your sense of self, sense of safety, and self identity. This makes trusting yourself difficult. This is a very natural response when you’ve experienced betrayal, but learning to trust yourself again is the first key to healing. Join Amie Woolsey in this episode as she shares: Whose...2023-04-0424 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBuilding Trust In The Relationship; Brené Brown's BRAVING ToolToday Amie and Alana talk about trust using the work of Brené Brown, and American professor, who created specific elements of trust by using the acronym BRAVING. Because it's BRAVE to trust, especially after betrayal. When you are trying to watch your partner's feet move back up the ladder of trust, it can be confusing to know what you are even watching for! So they break down these tools she offers as elements of trust and make them more tangible and betrayal trauma relatable. These are NOT all the ways that trust is restored and yet this g...2023-03-2847 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingPassive Aggressiveness and Betrayal: How to Recognize and Overcome It.What would you guess is the #1 thing people want help with when they go to see a therapist or a coach? Here’s a hint…whether you’re dealing with betrayal, trauma, or just simple disruptions in a relationship growing apart, all these roads lead to a need for better communication. We are hard-wired for connection, and a core part of connection is communication. Join Alana on this episode for the first step to better communication in your relationship – learning the difference between communicating in a way that is passive, aggressive, passive aggressive, and assertive. A few topi...2023-03-2228 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingA Light In The Dark; Answering Your Questions🎙️ We’re closing out the last episode of a 3-part series on the topic of adult children of sex addicts featuring Dr. Kenneth M. Adams Ph.D., CSAT-S, and author of the new book, A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts. This week, we respond to listener questions such as: “Do I need to hide my pain from my kids?” “When is it too late to repair your relationship with your children?” “How can I work through the guilt and shame that come from repairing damaged relationships?” Amie and Alana are excit...2023-03-1431 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingA Light In The Dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts; With Dr. Kenneth M. AdamsJoin the conversation today as Amie and Alana interview Dr. Kenneth M Adams, Ph.D., CSAT-S and author of the new book, Alight in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with Mary E Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, and Culle L Vande Garde, LCSW where they detail the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent. We are thrilled to share this powerful conversation with you in hopes that as a child of a sexually addicted parent, you will find the pieces t...2023-03-0753 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingCourage To Face The Fire; Healing Generational TraumaJoin Amie and Alana today as the first part of a three part series around adult children of sex addicts. Todays episode preambles the much anticipated interview with Dr. Kenneth M Adams Ph.D., CSAT-S and author of the new book, A light in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with Mary E. Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, and Culle L. Vande Garde, LCSW where they detail the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent. This book offers a path to unburden their shameful lega...2023-02-2834 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingOwning Your Beautiful Sexuality; Reintegration to the body after betrayalDo you feel fear, shame, insecurity, or pressure when you think about your sexuality? Join Amie and Alana as they help you consider if you’re ready to lean back into your sexuality after betrayal, and why it’s okay to embrace your sexuality. Tune into the episode to think about: Embedded beliefs you may have around sexuality Four elements that build intimacy Small ways to become more aware of your body How to separate sex from pleasure The links between shame and sexuality Resources mentioned in todays episode Healthy Sexual Dimensions: Nu...2023-02-2135 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBuy Yourself Flowers; Loving YOU firstValentine’s Day is meant to be a day for celebrating romance, but for those who have experienced betrayal, this day can serve as a reminder of what you’ve lost. We want to hold space today for the triggers, the pain, and the hard you may be feeling around this holiday. Whether you’re in a relationship, divorced, or single, you may find yourself grieving the expectations that were never realized in your romantic relationships. But perhaps you can take a minute this week to think about how you might be able to create a new tradit...2023-02-1419 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBecoming a Healthy, Independent WomanHave you seen yourself swing from a submissive role to a strong, independent perspective as you've begun the work of healing from betrayal trauma? Maybe you've found yourself feeling stuck and a little confused as you've tried to find the right balance of independence and interdependence? Think through some of these questions with Amie and Alana on this week's episode: Do you have to give up independence in order to be relational? What is the difference between submission, dependence, and interdependence? How can you be independent and stay connected to your partner? What's easier - independence o...2023-02-0731 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingBonus Episode: What does it mean to let the old relationship die? With Guest Luke Gordon, Men's Mental Health and Addiction Recovery CoachJoin us this week as we tackle the topic of letting the old relationship die after infidelity, betrayal, cheating, or compulsive acting out. We have with us Luke Gordon, men's mental health coach. Together we dive into why its recommended to let the old relationship die, what the looks like in real life, and how to move forward as a couple. New Courses: Transforming Your Triggers - A 6 week course taught by Hali Roderick about dealing with triggers from Betrayal Trauma Next session starts March 13th, Mondays at 10am PT Choosing to...2023-01-3126 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhy Do The Work?It's a great question. Why are you doing the work right now and being aware of that why, will help you more than you perhaps realize. Today we discuss the fears, the concerns and the rewards of continuing on in the journey of healing for both the betrayed and the betrayer. Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples webinar. Navigating the relational aspects on the road to recovery can b...2023-01-2432 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingSexual Consent In Marriage; with Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFTWe are thrilled to have joining us in todays conversation Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT He is one of the leaders in the field of addiction and betrayal, host of the podcast, From Crisis To Connection, Geoff joins our conversation today to discuss an important topic, sexual consent. Most importantly, sexual consent in marriage. This is a powerful episode for both the betrayed and the betrayer to understand, and gain more awareness around. If you feel there is further work to do around this topic personally, please reach out to one of our trained coaches and s...2023-01-1752 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingShould I Be Prepared For Him To Relapse?Relapse, slips, close calls........these are all scary and triggering for the betrayed partner. So how do you prepare for this to happen, what if you don't want to have this happen, and how many times should this happen? All these questions and more are what Alana and Amie discuss in todays conversation. Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples webinar. Navigating the r...2023-01-1031 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingPolygraphs Better Understood; With Polygraph Examiner Jared RockwoodAmie and Alana have a very informative and powerful conversation with Jared Rockwell who is not only a polygraph examiner but a LCSW with over 18 years experience. He is nationally recognized leader in his field and offers his expert thoughts today around how a polygraph works, why they are so important to rebuilding trust in a relationship and what they are NOT. We debunk some common myths around the polygraph and it's purpose as well as offer some guidelines around what questions to ask and not ask. Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Jo...2023-01-0348 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHow to do I begin to thrive? I want to do more than just survive!In todays episode Alana and Amie have a conversation about what it looks like to thrive and step out of victim mentality. When you have been a victim of someone else's choices that created chaos and pain in your life. Sometimes undesirable pain, it's understandable how it feels powerless and overwhelmingly paralyzing. Sometimes the term victim takes on a negative connotation, and so it's a place we can often judge ourselves in. There are so many subtle ways that we, often subconsciously, keep ourselves in victim mentality and yet are trying so hard to move...2022-12-2749 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingReclaiming & Rewriting Your Holiday; Healing from betrayalWhen you have experienced betrayal, the holidays can trigger a lot of heartache rather than joy and sadness rather than happy. For those of you who are right in the middle of hard we want you to know we are thinking of you and praying for you. We know you do hard things. Part of the healing journey is reclaiming, rewriting, rediscovering, YOUR holiday and deciding what that will look like, even in the middle of hard. Today we share some thoughts with you about how to do that and offer a few ideas to be...2022-12-2029 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingNavigating Narcissism With Tony OverbayYou are not going to want to miss todays conversation!! Ok, you really don’t want to miss any of our conversations, but today it a special one as we have joining us the amazing Tony Overbay. We are talking about narcissism today with Tony and how to grasp the bigger picture in healing and recovery. Learning how to build a higher emotional IQ is often left out in most addiction recovery programs and this is a key piece to healing, recovery and just being a more functional human. If you want to learn more ab...2022-12-1350 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingCouples Healing After Infidelity, Cheating, or Sexual Addiction: Couples Road To RecoveryThe road to recovery can be a long and difficult road. When you don't know where you are headed and how to get there, it can feel even more daunting. Join Alana, Amie, and their guest, Luke Gordon, for a discussion around healing and what the road to recovery after infidelity, cheating, or sexual addiction can look like. To have a visual of the recovery map, download it here. To schedule a session with any of our therapists or coaches, go to Chooserecoveryservices.com or email us at info@chooserecoveryservices.com Ongoing Courses:2022-12-061h 09

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHow Long Will Healing Take and How Will I know He's Changed?It can feel so frustrating to not see change in your partner and in yourself and how will you know if your partner is really changing? Alana and Amie answer another listeners question about this concept today and how to recognize change. This can be tricky to recognize they give you some ideas to consider and get curious about to help you determine for yourself if you are seeing the kind of change that you want. The episode referenced in todays podcast is called Active Recovery in Betrayal Trauma and you can find the episode...2022-11-2936 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHolding Space For Grief AND Gratitude Sometimes the holidays can be triggering and it's hard to feel grateful for anything. join Amie in todays episode where she offers some thoughts around how to navigate this holiday while you are also navigating big emotions. Because the truth is, you don't always have to feel grateful AND you can hold space for all emotions. Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recovery - Joi...2022-11-2217 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingListener Question: Needs and Wants; Healing after betrayalIn today's episode Amie and Alana talk about needs vs wants in a relationship as they answer a listers question. This episode is geared specifically towards the betrayed in the relationship. Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a f...2022-11-1541 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhen Healing Tools Don't Take Away The Pain; Navigating Betrayal TraumaWhen you start navigating the healing journey, you learn all kinds of tools and concepts, and you start applying them in hopes that change happens, in hopes that healing happens. But what if you are using ALL the tools and you are still feeling pain? What if you are trying to do all the things professionals say. to do but you are still feeling hurt? Today Amie and Alana discuss the in's and out's of healing and how to view pain in a different way. Most of all, to know that you are not doing it wrong...2022-11-0827 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingAffair Recovery with Betrayal Trauma coach Hali RoderickIn todays Episode we welcome one of our amazing coaches Hali Roderick who is addressing the aspect of recovery when there has been an affair in the marriage, but no pornography. Many women are navigating this aspect of betrayal and often find it hard to feel supported and not sure how to heal from this kind of betrayal. Join us today and Hali shares key point to help you navigate your journey to find hope and healing. Want to work with Hali? Check out chooserecoveryservices.com ...2022-11-0140 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingAnnouncing a New Resource ; Navigating divorce after betrayal traumaToday Amie has an exciting announcement for an additional resource for those of you who are needing help navigating divorce after betrayal trauma. So tune in and listen to what she has been up to! She also offers powerful thoughts around accessing your own empowerment and what that looks like, and how supporting each other as women is something she wants more of. No matter where you are at in your journey this is a powerful episode. Feel free to share with someone you know! Ongoing Courses: Am...2022-10-2512 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingSafe Space; Announcing a NEW resource for navigating abuseJoin Amie who is with therapist Kimberly Day as Kim announces the launch of her new website SAFE SPACE for those who are experiencing destructive elements in their relationships. It can be overwhelming to start learning about what's actually been going on in your relationship and when it's been destructive and down right abusive there can also be a lot of shame, which can keep many form getting help and talking about it. Kim Day has created a SAFE SPACE for women to come and explore the different dynamics they are experiencing in the relationship. Worksheets, videos, co...2022-10-1830 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingEmpathy For HimLast week Amie and Alana talked about empathy and different aspects of it with yourself as well as how to manage being empathic. Today they discuss how men in recovery can gain empathy and what that looks like, and what it doesn't look like. Men, this is a great episode to listen to and get curious about for yourself and where you might be in your journey to recovery as gaining healthy empathy is critical to not only recovery but a healthy relationship. Ongoing Courses: ...2022-10-1143 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWhat Healthy Empathy Looks Like Through BetrayalThis topic came up in a group when someone asked us, “What if I have too much empathy – what if my empathy is coming back to bite me on the butt?” Empathy is so complex when we're talking to women in betrayal trauma. And even within this specific container, there are so many nuances: having too much empathy, having too little empathy, how betrayal trauma affects your capacity for empathy with your children. As we hone in on one area for the sake of starting somewhere, we encourage you to discern for yourself how you’re doing...2022-10-0449 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingCreating Safety After TraumaWhether you're in a romantic relationship or not, learning to create psychological safety for yourself after trauma is a huge principle of healing. When we talk about betrayal and all the loss that comes with betrayal trauma, we include the loss of your central nervous system to PTSD, the loss of trust, the loss of your self esteem, the loss of emotional regulation, and the loss of safety. Many of us don’t even know that we’re in charge of our own safety, and since we didn’t have it in place before the betray...2022-09-2734 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingNavigating Betrayal Trauma With Tony Overbay (An Interview with Alana & Luke on the Virtual Couch Podcast)If you’re new to the work of Tony Overbay, we’re so glad to be the ones to introduce you. Tony is, among many things, a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of The Virtual Couch podcast. Today’s episode is a real treat, because it’s an interview with Luke and Alana on The Virtual Couch for a betrayal trauma podcast. In conversation with Tony, Luke and Alana share vulnerable insights from behind-the-scenes in their marriage – including their history with betrayal trauma and their subsequent healing journey. It was (and is) a long...2022-09-201h 19

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHelp! My Kids Don't See Why I Need Healing Join Amie and Alana in today's conversation around how to navigate relationships with your adult children when they don't see your healing work the way you do. Healing from betrayal trauma can be complex, and this shows up often when it comes to navigating your trauma with your kids. Do you ever find yourself trying to explain to your children why you need healing or why you are trying to have healthy boundaries? Do you ever fall into the trap of trying to get them to see your side of things? When children don't see the...2022-06-2832 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHow Do I Respond To Gaslighting?Last week Amie and Alana talked about DARVO and gaslighting so today they tackle the question, "How do I respond to gaslighting?". As always, where ever you are at in your relationship, even if you are divorced, this episode will be so helpful! Remember to please reach out to someone who is trained in abuse to help guide you through boundaries and other tools to navigate abusive behavior. Abuse is nothing to ignore or sweep under the rug so please reach out to someone safe if you are experiencing abuse in your relationship. Help is a...2022-05-1034 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingIs He In Recovery? Part 2Alana and Amie continue their conversation around this topic of recovery for the addicted. It's tough to navigate as there are so many pieces to this. Hopefully today will help shed some light along your journey. the importance of being relational and what healthy looks like. Is the addicted taking steps toward being honest, seeking out ways to create new patterns of healthy, or are they minimizing and justifying their behavior? So many things to consider right? Amie and Alana have your back and are ready to talk about all of it! Divorced? Y...2022-04-1939 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingWant Another Way To Heal? Diving Into Parts WorkJoin Amie and Alana this week and we dive into parts work, looking at the parts of you that are trying to keep you safe. Not only do we discuss how to use this tool to heal, we do a live unscripted demo on air. Tune in as Amie discovers her bodyguard part using this guided imagery to help see what this part needs. It's a rare look into how this can work for you in your own healing journey. If you'd like more information on any of our coaches or therapists, or would like to book an...2022-04-0524 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingAlana and Amie get REAL VulnerableToday was one of those days where, it just is what it is. So we recorded an episode exactly where we were at emotionally, and thats stressed, maxed and exhausted from our own work. Yep, we still have to do our work too! We hope this episode helps not only validate that we are all continuously learning and growing, but inspire you to lean into your own authentic self - and LOVE IT! Today we announce Amie's NEW Believing IN You TEEN coaching program for girls ages 13-17. For more info and...2022-03-2221 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingAbuse, no excuse: To the woman on the other end of the phoneJoin our conversation today as Amie gets real and vulnerable around her personal experience with abuse. It starts with awareness. Whether you are or are not in a similar situation, you most likely know someone who is. The more we can call it what it is, speak out about it, the healthier we become today and generations to come. There is never an excuse for abuse. This topic today came from an experience Amie had witnessing an abusive situation in the grocery store parking lot Enough is enough. Both Amie and Alana are...2022-03-0121 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHappy Love You Forever Day!Amie is solo today and is sharing thoughts about what self love looks like and how it can help you to recognize what healthy intimacy looks like in your relationships. But it all has to start with YOU. There are some concerns around this sometimes with those who have been in a relationship with a narcissist. So the fear is that this idea can be or lead to narcissism. Amie clarifies this concern and continues to walk you through the different levels of intimacy and how you use these to connect with you, to love you and ultimately be...2022-02-1426 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingYou are not your traumaOn today's episode Alana and Amie discuss how hold onto your unchanging identity while healing through trauma. When you really start latching on to this new world of learning and understanding your trauma and addiction, finding safe circles and safe people and really start to put the puzzle pieces together it starts to create this level of understanding awareness and safety, and It becomes this huge relief! Women who don't have any identity outside of their trauma or their identity is so linked to the trauma, or so linked to their husband and what he i...2022-02-0122 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingTaming Your Triggers with guests Hali Roderick and Luke GordonToday we are talking with a one of our awesome certified betrayal trauma coaches, Hali Roderick and Co-Owner of CHOOSE and certified life coach Luke Gordon. Triggers are a huge part of healing and also just a huge part of being human. Learning how to tame those triggers is a skill worth developing. Hali shares her thoughts and tools on how to do just that! When the spouse who has been betrayed has these triggers, it's often frustrating and confusing to the other partner and can often cause further damage. So learning more a bout why they...2021-10-0544 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingHealing Power Of AceptanceWelcome to Season 2 of the CHOose To Be Podcast with Alana Gordon and Amie Woolsey. What an amazing first season and its thanks to all of you amazing listeners for joining our conversation each week and sharing it with those around you. The number of our listeners have grown more than we had hoped for our first season and hoping to reach even more! The message of hope and healing is so important for us all to not inly feel for ourselves but important to share with others who may not have any. In the first episode o...2021-09-2839 min

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingChoose To Be: The Recovery RoadThe road to recovery can be a long and difficult road. When you don't know where you are headed and how to get there, it can feel even more daunting. Join Alana Gordon -MFTI, Amie Woolsey - Betrayal Trauma Coach, and Luke Gordon - Sexual Addiction Coach for a discussion around healing and what the road to recovery consists of. To have a visual of the recovery map, download it at https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/podcast. To schedule a session with any of our therapists or coaches, go to Chooserecoveryservices.com or email us at in...2020-12-141h 09

Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma HealingChoose To Be: Welcome to the show!Welcome to the Choose To Be Podcast! Here at Choose Recovery, we are committed to your healing. You're invited to be part of the conversation and we explore what healing and moving forward look like. Hosts Alana Gordon, Marriage and Family Therapist Intern and Amie Woolsey, certified betrayal trauma coach talk about tools for healing, interview experts in the field, and invite others to join the conversation who have walked the path of healing. We use the betrayal trauma model with a Christ and God centered focus. We look forward to having you join us! For more i...2020-12-1435 min