Shows
Speculative Grammarian PodcastThe History of the Indo-Europeans—An Agony in Six FitsThe History of the Indo-Europeans—An Agony in Six Fits; by Tim Pulju; From Volume CLXXIV, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, December 2015 — Once upon a time, on a warm spring day about 5500 years ago, a young Indo-European named Bright-Fame drove an ox-cart into the family compound. “Greetings, father,” the young man said, using the vocative case. (Read by Zack Sjöberg, Claude Searsplainpockets, Declan Whitford Jones, Trey Jones, Joey Whitford, and Mairead Whitford Jones.)2016-06-1100 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastThe Devil’s Dictionary of Linguistics and PhoneticsThe Devil’s Dictionary of Linguistics and Phonetics; by David Krystal &Adam Baker; From Volume CLXXV, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, January 2016 — C-command. A f-formal r-relationship m-made n-necessary by an u-unfortunate e-early c-commitment to b-binary t-trees. (Read by Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Trey Jones, Butch McBastard, Declan Whitford Jones, Claude Searsplainpockets, Joey Whitford, Mairead Whitford Jones, and Zack Sjöberg.)2016-03-1400 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastParenting Styles and Progeny Success—A Practical Guide to Broken-Record ParentingParenting Styles and Progeny Success—A Practical Guide to Broken-Record Parenting; by Psammeticus Press; From Volume CLXXI, Number 3, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2014 — Parents, do you feel like a broken record? “Bath time!” ... “Shut the door!” ... “Don’t talk with your mouth full!” ... “Stop hitting your brother!” ... “Be quiet!” ... The list of repetitive parental complaints seems endless and, at times, fruitless. But now you can put the nature of your nurture to work for you and your child! (Read by Trey Jones, Joey Whitford, Claude Searsplainpockets.)2016-01-3100 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastThe Laziest Language on EarthThe Laziest Language on Earth; by Claude Searsplainpockets; From Volume CLIII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, November 2007 — Back in 1922, my Historical Linguistics professor, Benjamin Ide Wheeler, noted that ease of articulation is a driving force in language change—hence the regular occurrence of lenition rules—but the opposing need to maintain a clear communication channel prevents everything from degenerating to a long low mid vowel. Turns out he was wrong. (Read by Claude Searsplainpockets and Trey Jones.)2015-10-3100 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastTLAs DOA? TBD!TLAs DOA? TBD!; by Claude Searsplainpockets; From Volume CLII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, March 2007 — In the course of several months of anthropological and linguistic data collection among native speakers of BizSpeak, a degraded and virulent offshoot of English used by mentally deficient holders of MBAs and their ilk, I noted several disturbing trends. (Read by Claude Searsplainpockets.)2015-10-1800 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastOne Hundred Words for SnowcloneOne Hundred Words for Snowclone; by Claude Searsplainpockets and X. Izthunüblakk; From Volume CLXX, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, June 2014 — Any linguist worthy of attending SALT knows of the linguistic myth that eskimos have hundreds of words for snow. There was even some sort of vocabulary-related hoax or other about it back in the day. (Read by Claude Searsplainpockets.)2015-06-2600 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastThe Hidden Language of Public Seduction—An Anthropological Linguistic Study of SpanyolThe Hidden Language of Public Seduction—An Anthropological Linguistic Study of Spanyol; by Claude Searsplainpockets; From Volume CLIII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, September 2007 — Earlier this year, in preparation for fieldwork in Mozambique, Chad, and Japan, I decided to review some Spanish-language pedagogical audio materials. As I was listening intently and re-acquainting myself with this beautiful language, I was quite surprised to hear many seemingly innocuous phrases presented with a tone of voice that would normally only be appropriate in a love song by Barry White. I wondered, why did the “native” speaker’s pronunciation of “uno, dos, tres” make me feel oddly hot...2013-12-2700 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastFifty Grades of AFifty Grades of A; by i ɛl dʒemz; From Volume CLXV, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, July 2012 — Get the book that everyone’s talking about... (Read by Trey Jones, Cathal Peelo, Claude Searsplainpockets, Veronika Reeve, and Brianne Hughes.)2013-08-1300 minSpeculative Grammarian PodcastHunting the Elusive Labio-NasalHunting the Elusive Labio-Nasal; by Claude Searsplainpockets; From Volume CLI, No 3 of Speculative Grammarian, July 2006. — The now well-known clicks found in certain African languages must have come as quite a shock to the first European linguists who heard them. Many of the sounds were familiar, of course, but the idea that they could be a component of language had to have been hard to believe. Even now the languages of Africa have secrets to share—note the recent addition of “right hook v” to the IPA as the symbol for the “labiodental flap” found in numerous African languages. (Read by Claude Sears...2012-08-2500 min