Shows
Code4CouplesEp 171: When Trauma Doesn't Stay Boxed UpLaw enforcement stress doesn't just stay on the job, it can come crashing into family life. Retired Detective Jody Thompson shares how a personal crisis brought years of hidden trauma to the surface and how he and his wife found a path to healing. Short Episode Summary In this episode, Detective (ret.) Jody Thompson opens up about the personal crisis that nearly cost him his wife during childbirth — a moment that triggered suppressed memories from years of responding to traumatic calls. You'll hear: How suppressed trauma can resurface years later The impact of...
2025-10-3040 min
Code4CouplesEp 170: Alcohol and First Responder CulturePolice officer mental health and alcohol use are deeply connected, but most families don't know what signs to watch for. Alcohol is often normalized in law enforcement culture, but for many officers and families, it quietly becomes a coping mechanism for trauma, stress, and identity loss. In this Code4Couples Podcast episode, Cyndi Doyle is joined by retired police officer and peer support leader Joe Rizzuti for an honest conversation about alcohol use, addiction, and mental health in first responders. In this episode, you'll learn: Why alcohol is commonly used as a coping...
2025-10-1635 min
Code4CouplesEp 169: Raising Strong Kids: Resilience Strategies for Law Enforcement FamiliesIn this episode, Cyndi sits down with licensed professional counselor and Warriors Rest Foundation trainer, Jill Newman, to talk about the often-overlooked experiences of children in law enforcement and first responder families. Jill shares insights from her work with first responder kids, including how hypervigilance, shift work, family stress, and critical incidents shape their lives. She offers strategies parents can use to build resilience, improve communication, and support their children's emotional health. Together, they highlight ways to protect first responder families and strengthen relationships across generations. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, author of Hold the...
2025-10-0244 min
Code4CouplesEp 168: Heart Disease in Law EnforcementLaw enforcement officers and first responders are at significantly higher risk for undetected and deadly heart disease, often with no warning signs. Traditional medical screenings miss 92% of cases, leaving officers and their families vulnerable to preventable tragedy. Episode Summary: In this powerful interview, Dr. Benjamin Stone, co-founder of Sigma Tactical Wellness, joins Cyndi to uncover: Why police officers and first responders face a drastically shorter life expectancy The hidden cardiac risks that standard medical exams fail to detect Groundbreaking research showing 92% of cases are missed with traditional screenings ...
2025-09-1841 min
Code4CouplesEp 166: 9 Ways First Responder Couples Can Apologize and Repair ConflictNine steps to real apologies every law enforcement spouse should know. If you've ever felt stuck in your law enforcement marriage, dealing with conflict, defensiveness, or empty "sorrys," this episode is for you. Short Episode Summary: In this episode, Cyndi sits down with licensed professional counselor Madison Elie-Thompson to break down why police wives, police husbands, and first responder couples often struggle with communication, conflict resolution, and apologies. Madison shares the nine ingredients of a true apology, explains why defensiveness and the need to "win" arguments erode trust in marriage, and highlights the role of vulnerability...
2025-08-2239 min
Code4CouplesEp 164: The Challenges Women Face Behind the BadgeIn this interview, you'll discover: Monica's personal journey from police officer to author and advocate (Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line How to navigate and rise above toxic workplace cultures Practical self-care, fitness, and mindset strategies for first responder spouses Why setting boundaries is essential to surviving and thriving in law enforcement marriage How to identify — and stop accepting — moving goalposts in your career Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line, the Code4Couples® Podcast delivers real, relatable conve...
2025-07-2547 min
Code4CouplesEp 162: Emotional Safety at Home in Law Enforcement FamiliesEmotional safety at home is harder for law enforcement couples than you think, but it is possible to rebuild with the right tools. If you want stronger law enforcement spouse support and deeper connection, this episode walks you through exactly how to create it. In this episode, Cyndi breaks down: • Why emotional safety disappears at home even in strong relationships • How the hypervigilance cycle shapes emotional disconnection in marriage • What happens when the nervous system overloads and the vagus nerve stays activated • Walking on eggshells in a relationship and why it becomes the default...
2025-06-2741 min
Code4CouplesEp 161: Beat The Burnout: Prevention and Recovery Solutions for Frontline Burnout 🚨 This episode features AK Dozanti, a former sheriff's deputy turned wellness advocate and author of Beat the Burnout, who shares her personal journey through severe law enforcement burnout, PTSD, and adrenal fatigue. AK opens up about the physical, emotional, and relational toll that burnout takes on first responders and their law enforcement spouses, and why permission to step back or change careers can be life-saving. In this conversation on burnout prevention and first responder wellness, you'll learn: 🔍 How to spot the early signs of burnout in yourself or your spouse 🛠 Sustainable systems to prevent a...
2025-06-1349 min
Code4CouplesEp 159: The Top Ten Things Every Law Enforcement Spouse Should KnowFeeling the emotional disconnect? Here are 10 things every law enforcement spouse should know. If you've ever wondered why hypervigilance, emotional shutdown, or distance show up at home, this episode breaks down what's really happening underneath. In this episode, Cyndi shares the Top 10 Things Every Law Enforcement Spouse Should Know—from the job's impact on the brain, to emotional withdrawal, hypervigilance, resentment, and the armor both partners wear. You'll learn: • Why emotional shutdown isn't personal but still hurts • How hypervigilance affects relationships long after the shift ends • The ways spouses get conditioned too • How resent...
2025-05-1637 min
Code4CouplesEp 157: Sleep Hygiene for First Responders: Why Sleep Health Matters in First Responder RelationshipsPolice officer mental health and first responder spouse support start with better sleep — and FBI sleep expert Dr. Leah Kaylor is here to show you how. From nightmares to shift work, discover proven strategies to protect your health and your relationship. In this episode, Cyndi Doyle interviews Dr. Leah Kaylor, licensed psychologist and recognized sleep expert, on the critical role sleep plays in the mental, emotional, and physical health of first responders and their families. Dr. Kaylor shares practical strategies for improving sleep hygiene, from consistency and bedroom environment to managing blue light exposure, and explains why po...
2025-04-1149 min
Code4CouplesEp 156: Breaking Down The Armor and The Mental Health Stigma in Law Enforcement Cumulative trauma exposure doesn't stay at work. In this conversation, we break down what law enforcement mental health really looks like when the emotional load starts showing up at home. In this episode, Sergeant Zachary Signs opens up about the impact of repeated trauma, emotional shutdown, and the moment he realized the strain it was putting on his relationship. We talk about how emotional armor forms, how it affects communication, and what it takes to reconnect. You'll hear practical examples of boundaries, counseling for police officers, signs of nervous system overload, and how support networks like...
2025-03-2824 min
Code4CouplesEp 152: When Command Presence Comes HomesThis episode of the Code4Couples podcast dives into "authoritarian spillover" — the unconscious way officers' on-the-job command presence can follow them home. Cyndi explains how this survival skill, critical in high-pressure law enforcement situations, can unintentionally create tension, micromanagement, and disconnection in police marriages and law enforcement families. In this episode, you'll learn: What authoritarian spillover is and how it impacts police spouses, police couples, and law enforcement families. Why command presence is vital for police officer stress management at work but can create conflict at home. Signs that "command mode" is...
2025-01-2417 min
Code4CouplesEp 151: Hypervigilance to HomeThis episode dives deep into hypervigilance at home — a natural, biological state that keeps officers safe on duty but can unintentionally create distance and tension in a law enforcement marriage. Whether you're a police wife, police husband, or a law enforcement spouse, understanding this dynamic can help you protect your connection Short Episode Summary Understand what hypervigilance is and how it impacts police family life Learn the "up and down" cycle that can make officers seem disengaged after shift work Avoid enabling unhealthy patterns that can lead to law enforcement burnout...
2025-01-1722 min
Code4CouplesEp 149: Relationship Resolutions for Law Enforcement CouplesFeeling the emotional disconnection that comes with being married to a police officer? These five rituals rebuild closeness fast. In this episode, we dig into hypervigilance in relationships and how small, intentional habits can reconnect you quickly. What You'll Learn in This Episode In this New Year, New Connection episode, Cyndi shares five simple and powerful relationship resolutions designed specifically for law enforcement couples. • Why hypervigilance and shift work create emotional disconnection • How micro-moments of connection rebuild safety and closeness • A weekly marriage check-in ritual that strengthens communication • A shift-reset routine that hel...
2025-01-0324 min
Code4CouplesEp 148: Navigating Burnout in Law Enforcement CommunitiesIf burnout has become your normal, this episode gives you the tools to step out of survival mode and reconnect to what matters. Burnout in law enforcement doesn't have to be a life sentence — small shifts can create real change. In this conversation, Cyndi and trauma therapist/author Yolanda Harper unpack what burnout really looks like inside law enforcement homes: nervous system overload, emotional disconnection, overfunctioning, compassion fatigue, and the pressure to "just keep going." They explore practical ways to reset your mind and body, reconnect with your people, and build micro-moments of joy that support long-term re...
2024-10-111h 05
Code4CouplesEp 144: Trauma in Law Enforcement FamiliesWhy your officer feels distant, irritable, or shut down — and what's really going on. Secondary traumatic stress can quietly reshape a law enforcement relationship, but you don't have to navigate it without a roadmap. Short Episode Summary In this episode, Cyndi talks with secondary traumatic stress expert Melissa Kaiser, LCSW to unpack how repeated exposure to trauma affects officers, spouses, and families. You'll learn: • The difference between secondary trauma, compassion fatigue, burnout, and moral injury • How trauma exposure creates emotional distance in relationships • Signs your nervous system is hitting overload or shutt...
2024-08-1651 min
Code4CouplesEp 142: Thriving in and out of the careerIs your department just surviving — or truly thriving? In this episode of the Code4Couples Podcast, we explore how law enforcement wellness programs can move beyond checkboxes to create lasting change for officers, spouses, and families. Episode Summary In this episode, Cyndi Doyle talks with Brian Ellis, retired law enforcement officer and founder of Magnus Works, about the latest trends in law enforcement wellness and the evolving approach to building resilient, healthy officers and families. Together, they unpack why traditional wellness programs often fall short, how technology and data can transform wellness initiatives, and why including fa...
2024-06-2855 min
Code4CouplesEp 141: Must have Conversations for Every Law Enforcement CoupleAre You Having These 4 Conversations That Keep Police Marriages Healthy? Every police couple faces stress, shift work, and emotional strain — but few know the key conversations that keep relationships connected and strong. In this conversation, Cyndi talks with Amber Smith, a licensed marriage and family therapist and law enforcement spouse, about the essential conversations every police or first responder couple needs to have early—and revisit often—to build a resilient relationship. They discuss financial boundaries, reintegration rituals after shifts, communication during tough calls, and understanding personal activation points that impact connection. Amber shares real examples from h...
2024-06-1448 min
Code4CouplesEp 140: The Impact of Moral InjuriesMoral Injury vs PTSD — do you know the difference? In this episode, Cyndi Doyle and retired EAP Manager Judy Cowles unpack the hidden emotional wound impacting countless law enforcement officers and police spouses, and how couples can begin to heal together. Short Episode Summary In this episode, Cyndi welcomes retired EAP Manager and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Judy Cowles, who spent over 30 years with the Broward Sheriff's Office and served on a hostage negotiation team. Together, they unpack the concept of moral injury — a deep emotional and psychological wound caused by betrayal, isolation, or being forced to a...
2024-05-2444 min
Code4CouplesEp 139: Communication Challenges in Special AssignmentsLaw enforcement spouse support is more than just waiting for the call — it's learning how to stay connected when SWAT life takes over. In this episode, Cyndi Doyle sits down with first responder psychologist Heather Williams to talk about how police marriages survive when the job never stops. Short Episode Summary In this conversation, Cyndi and Heather share what it's really like to love someone in a special unit. You'll learn: How to manage anxiety and fear during SWAT callouts The right way to communicate and stay connected Simple code wo...
2024-04-2652 min
Code4CouplesEp 137: WorkicideWorkicide: How the Job Is Killing Law Enforcement Marriages 👉 Learn how toxic police culture, burnout, and identity loss are destroying law enforcement marriages — and what you can do to protect your relationship and mental health. In this powerful conversation, Cyndi Doyle sits down with Stephanie Keisow — former officer, dispatcher, police spouse, and author of Workicide — to unpack the hidden toll of toxic police culture and burnout on both the officer and their family. Stephanie shares her personal journey through trauma, loss, and recovery, introducing the concept of workicide: "death by career." Together, they explore how isolation, low self...
2024-03-0145 min
Code4CouplesEp 136: To Hell and BackPolice burnout is real—and it's hitting law enforcement couples harder than ever. In this episode, we uncover how to recognize burnout, stop it early, and start healing. Episode Summary: This episode features licensed marriage and family therapist Deana Kale (aka Cop Shrink), who specializes in supporting law enforcement and first responder families. Together, she and Cyndi dive into the realities of burnout in policing and first responder life, exploring how to recognize the signs, distinguish burnout from PTSD, and understand how it impacts officers and their relationships. Deana shares her personal story of burnout, how it...
2024-02-1644 min
Code4CouplesEp 134: Communication and Trauma Response after Critical IncidentsPolice marriage communication struggles are real — in this episode, Cyndi sits down with therapist & law enforcement spouse Katie Binger to unpack the challenges and strengths of police relationships. SUMMARY You'll hear Katie's personal journey as the wife of a DC officer, including: The impact of long hours, shift work, and burnout on police marriages Surviving traumatic events like January 6th as a couple How pursuer-distancer dynamics affect communication Practical tools for staying connected during crisis Ways law enforcement couples can build resilience together Hosted by...
2024-01-191h 09
Code4CouplesEp 131: Wives on DutyIn this episode, Cyndi sits down with Allison Uribe, chaplain, speaker, and author of Because I'm Suitable and Cuffs and Coffee. Allison opens up about the struggles she and her husband faced early in their law enforcement marriage and how faith, perseverance, and intentional choices transformed their relationship. She shares the story of founding Wives on Duty Ministries and how her work now extends to spouses, children, and families of officers nationwide. Short Episode Summary (Audience Benefits): What you'll learn in this conversation: Why law enforcement marriages feel so different from civilian ones
2023-12-0851 min
Code4CouplesEp 130: Retirement in Dual Law Enforcement RelationshipsIn this episode, Cyndi sits down with Kathy and Javier Bustos, "That Peer Support Couple," to discuss their experiences retiring from law enforcement as a dual-police couple. They share the emotional and practical challenges of leaving the badge behind, including identity shifts, relationship adjustments, and redefining purpose after decades of service. Short Summary – What You'll Learn: How Kathy and Javi transitioned from active duty to retirement The impact of retirement on marriage and family life Why identity shifts and grief are normal after leaving the badge Tips for planning ah...
2023-12-0149 min
Code4CouplesEp 129: Holding on to HAPPYIn this episode, Cyndi sits down with Kate Pieper, LMFT, who specializes in trauma and resilience for first responders. Kate shares her "Holding Onto Happy" resilience model (H.A.P.P.Y.), designed to help law enforcement officers, police spouses, and first responder families build habits, regulate emotions, and recover from trauma. Together, they discuss practical ways officers and couples can "floss their brains," prevent burnout, and stay connected to their why—both individually and as a couple. 👮♀️ What You'll Learn in This Episode: The H.A.P.P.Y. model for resilience and why it works fo...
2023-11-1056 min
Code4CouplesEp 127: Common Issues in Law Enforcement RelationshipsFeeling distant from your spouse? Here's how trauma and shift work quietly disconnect law enforcement couples — and how to rebuild intimacy. EPISODE SUMMARY This episode dives deep into the unique challenges law enforcement couples face — from emotional disconnection and trauma's ripple effects to rebuilding intimacy and trust. Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S and founder of Code4Couples, joins Adam Davis to unpack how hypervigilance, shift work, and unspoken stress erode connection. Through real stories and practical communication tools, Cyndi explains how to reconnect, rebuild emotional intimacy, and strengthen resilience as a team. Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, NCC...
2023-10-2731 min
Code4CouplesEp 125: Beyond the Badge🚔 Law enforcement wellness starts with YOU — federal officer & speaker Michael Laidler shares how to thrive beyond the badge. Episode Summary: This episode features Michael Laidler, a federal law enforcement officer, speaker, and author of Greatness Beyond the Badge. Michael shares his journey from a 19-year-old police officer to a national speaker, highlighting lessons from failures, leadership, and balancing law enforcement identity with personal growth. He explains the three pillars of his book — knowing yourself, reducing dissonance, and building a path to greatness through intentional growth and time management. His story emphasizes resilience, redefining success, and creating a healt...
2023-10-0649 min
Code4CouplesEp 123: Shiftwork NutritionStruggling with healthy eating during shift work? Dietitian tips for police families. Episode Summary In this episode of Code4Couples, Cyndi sits down with Raina Beugelink, a registered dietitian and police spouse, to talk about the real-life challenges of nutrition for first responders. They explore how hypervigilance, disrupted circadian rhythms, and fatigue impact digestion and food choices. Raina shares simple, practical ways to prep meals, time eating to support better sleep and energy, and work as a couple to protect long-term health. If you've ever struggled with fueling your body while managing the demands of law...
2023-09-2249 min
Code4CouplesEp 122: Mindset and Control🚔 Law enforcement spouse support starts with mindset. In this episode, discover how stoic philosophy can help police wives, husbands, and first responder families stay resilient through the challenges of the job. Episode Summary: In this episode of the Code4Couples® Podcast, Cyndi sits down with former federal law enforcement officer Christopher Healey to explore how stoic philosophy and intentional mindset shifts can transform the way officers and first responder couples navigate stress, trauma, and relationships. Healey shares his journey from archeologist to federal agent, his lessons learned through personal adversity, and how he applies ancient wisdom to m...
2023-09-1553 min
Code4CouplesEp 120: I'm Not BulletproofHe thought he was bulletproof… until a heart attack changed everything. 💔 #LawEnforcementMarriage In this deeply personal episode, Cyndi and her husband Bobby share the story of his sudden heart attack — a "widow maker" that nearly took his life — and how it became a turning point in their marriage and mental health. They open up about the physical and emotional recovery, how trauma affected both of them, and what it took for Bobby to ask for help and begin healing through therapy and cardiac rehab. Together, they discuss the myth of being "bulletproof," the vulnerability first responders often avo...
2023-09-0144 min
Code4CouplesEp 119: The Cycle of SexIn this episode, Cyndi sits down with Dr. Laurie Watson, certified sex therapist, to talk openly about the challenges law enforcement couples face with intimacy and connection. They dive into the pursue–withdraw cycle, how emotional "armoring up" impacts relationships, and the ways trauma and stress from the job interfere with a healthy sex life. What You'll Learn: Why police marriages often struggle with intimacy How the pursue–withdraw cycle damages connection The impact of trauma, stress, and emotional "armoring up" on sex and marriage Tips for rebuilding trust, inti...
2023-08-2548 min
Code4CouplesEp 116: Boxing up Emotions: The Good and BadCompartmentalization helps first responders and law enforcement spouses survive tough moments — but what happens when it starts hurting your marriage? In this episode, discover how to balance emotional survival with real connection. Short Episode Summary: This episode dives into the topic of compartmentalization with guest Rose Caros, a licensed marriage and family therapist. Together, Rose and Cyndi explore how compartmentalization is both a survival skill and a challenge for law enforcement officers, spouses, and first responders. They discuss how unchecked compartmentalization can affect emotional connection, intimacy, and family life, and share strategies to gradually "flex the em...
2023-08-0448 min
Code4CouplesEP 115: Are Your Love Languages Transactional?re Your Love Languages Transactional? Stop Keeping Score & Rebuild Connection in Your Law Enforcement Marriage In this candid conversation, Cyndi and her husband explore how The Five Love Languages—once a popular relationship tool—can unintentionally turn into a transactional system of keeping score. They share humorous and heartfelt examples from their own marriage, showing how acts of service, physical touch, and words of affirmation can lose meaning when done for exchange instead of connection. Together, they unpack how law enforcement stress, shift work, hypervigilance, and independence can erode emotional connection. By reframing love languages from "I give...
2023-07-2851 min
Code4CouplesEp 112: Communication Differences Between Men and Women: The Four PositionsLaw enforcement couples often struggle when trust and safety are shaken by communication breakdowns. Without a shared emotional language, spouses can feel disconnected, unseen, and unsafe — making trust even harder to build. Episode Summary In this episode, Cyndi welcomes back therapist and author Kristal DeSantis to dive deeper into building trust for first responder couples. Together, they unpack: Why safety must come before trust in police marriages How "fixing" and "debating" often block connection The four conversation positions every couple needs Tools to create emotional safety and lasting tr...
2023-06-3048 min
Code4CouplesEp 108: Rebranding the Mindset of Self-CareLaw enforcement spouses: self-care isn't fluffy, it's gritty. Discover practical health habits that protect your marriage and prevent burnout. Short Episode Summary In this episode, Cyndi and guest wellness coach Katie Aian tackle the misunderstood concept of self-care, reframing it as essential, gritty health habits rather than fluffy indulgences. They explore the importance of resilience, proactive wellness practices, and small daily steps that help first responder families thrive. Together, they break down the three pillars of healthy habits—awareness, self-control, and self-reliance—and share realistic strategies that fit into law enforcement family life. Host...
2023-05-2658 min
Code4CouplesEp 107: Legacies Are Built at Home, Not at WorkIn this powerful conversation, Cyndi and former police officer and Army veteran Chad Michael Bruckner dig deep into how trauma in law enforcement and toxic cultural norms impact officers, spouses, and families. Together they explore how moral injury and unhealed wounds can damage relationships — and what it takes to heal and reconnect at home. In this episode, you'll learn: How generational trauma and moral conflict affect law enforcement families Why emotional suppression and "earning the right" culture create burnout and disconnection What self-awareness looks like for first responders trying to...
2023-05-1948 min
Code4CouplesEp 106: Are Values Driving your Relationship?When you live out of alignment with your values, burnout follows. Learn how to get back on track as a first responder couple and reconnect to what truly matters in your life and relationship. In this heartfelt and insightful conversation, Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, law enforcement spouse, and host of the Code4Couples Podcast, sits down with Katie O, a first responder spouse, wellness coach, and former search and rescue volunteer. Together, they explore how identifying and living according to your personal and shared values can completely transform your wellness, your mindset, and your marriage.
2023-05-1249 min
Code4CouplesEp 104: Let's talk treatment: Different approaches to PTSDMany law enforcement officers and first responders believe that PTSD is inevitable and untreatable — just part of the job. But that's not true. In this episode, Cyndi sits down with licensed professional counselor and police spouse Johanna Wender to break that myth wide open. Together, they unpack the real difference between acute stress and PTSD, how neuroplasticity gives the brain the ability to heal after trauma, and what evidence-based treatments truly work for lasting recovery. You'll also hear about resilience, the power of early intervention, and why seeing PTSD as an injury instead of a disorder can completely change th...
2023-04-2846 min
Code4CouplesEp 103: National Advocacy in Law EnforcementProtecting Your Officer Starts at Home: National Advocacy for Police Families This episode dives into the power of national advocacy for law enforcement families, featuring Kelly from the National Police Wives Association. She and Cyndi discuss how spouses can play an active role in shaping laws that affect officers — from public safety officer benefits (PSOB) and qualified immunity to heart and lung presumptive bills and mental wellness programs. You'll learn how to: Protect your family by documenting critical incidents properly Navigate public safety officer benefits (PSOB) Understand legislative trends im...
2023-04-211h 18
Code4CouplesEp 100: The 100th Episode!100 Episodes Strong: What Law Enforcement Marriage Has Taught Us About Love & Resilience After 100 episodes of helping police couples navigate life behind the badge, Cyndi and her husband open up about what they've learned — the struggles, the growth, and how love and connection can outlast hypervigilance, stress, and the job. In this heartfelt 100th episode, Cyndi celebrates the journey of Code4Couples alongside her husband as he interviews her with listener-submitted questions. Together, they reflect on how the podcast has evolved, how law enforcement life shaped their marriage, and the growth, struggles, and resilience that came wi...
2023-03-3151 min
Code4CouplesEp 99: Building ResiliencyGary and Colette Benoit, a Canadian law enforcement couple, share their journey through an officer-involved shooting, PTSD, and how it impacted their marriage. They open up about silence, resentment, and healing — and how a turning point (and a thrown book!) led to personal growth, resilience, and a new mission to serve first responder families. From building a stronger marriage to launching the Frontline Resiliency Project and writing A Call for Service, their story offers hope and practical tools for police spouses and couples facing stress, trauma, and disconnection. In this episode, you'll hear: What really ha...
2023-03-241h 01
Code4CouplesEp 96: Community Advocacy in Law EnforcementPolice spouse support starts with grit, preparation, and community. In this episode, Kelli Lowe reveals how law enforcement families can stay strong in crisis. This episode features Kelli Lowe, President of the National Police Wives Association, who shares her story of advocacy and leadership for police spouses and families. She recounts her experiences during Ferguson, supporting officers in crisis, and her husband's ambush, which fueled her drive to create systems of support for first responder families. Kelli discusses grit, finding your tribe, and how spouses can become powerful advocates for officer wellness, mental health, and resilience. Her...
2023-03-0327 min
Code4CouplesEp 95: There's been an affair. Now what?In this candid conversation, Cyndi sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Shannon Brown, who's also a law enforcement spouse of 16 years, to talk about one of the hardest topics most couples avoid — affairs. Shannon shares how infidelity can happen even in strong relationships, what couples should do immediately after an affair is revealed, and the steps to rebuild trust, connection, and hope. Short Episode Summary You'll learn: Why even healthy marriages can experience betrayal How law enforcement culture and shift work impact connection What to do — and what not...
2023-02-2445 min
Code4CouplesEp 92: Erectile Dysfunction in Law EnforcementHook / First Lines (with primary keyword): Erectile dysfunction and intimacy after trauma are real challenges in law enforcement marriages. In this episode, discover how couples can rebuild connection, break shame cycles, and keep intimacy alive. In this episode, Cyndi sits down with Dr. Heather England, a certified sex therapist and West Point graduate, to talk openly about intimacy, erectile dysfunction, and the impact of trauma on first responder relationships. They explore how PTSD, stress, and hypervigilance contribute to intimacy challenges and what couples can do to reconnect. You'll hear strategies for breaking shame cycles, redefining...
2023-02-0354 min
Code4CouplesEp 90: Relationship ResolutionsIs your relationship running on autopilot? Discover how to reset your direction and reconnect as a couple this year. In this episode, Cyndi unpacks how law enforcement and first responder couples can reset the direction of their relationship when life or the job has taken it off course. She shares five practical ways to reconnect—vision boards, goal setting, a guiding word, shared values, and a couple's mission statement. Through relatable stories and professional insight, she shows how to build intentional direction, strengthen emotional connection, and renew your shared vision for the year ahead. Hosted by...
2023-01-2035 min
Code4CouplesEp 88: Savings, Strategy and Safety Is overtime running your marriage? Learn how to break the debt cycle and build financial wellness for law enforcement couples with Nick Autry — The Financial Cop. In this episode, Cyndi sits down with Nick Autry, founder of Financial Cop, to unpack why so many first responders struggle financially — and how to change that story. Nick shares how he dug himself out of $80,000 in debt and turned his mistakes into a nationwide mission to teach financial wellness to law enforcement families. Together, they explore budgeting, debt freedom, joint money planning, and creating long-term financial peace as a coupl...
2023-01-0645 min
Code4CouplesCode4Couples UpdateCyndi Doyle LPCS and LEO wife updates you with where she has been and what has been going on in her life. Part of the story involves her husband, Bobby Doyle, and she needed and wanted to extend some time to him until he was okay with sharing. She doesn't share all the details, but he agreed that he needs to share his story at some point in time and the impact it had on him. He's not ready yet, but he will at some point. What she does share is that he had a major medical issue tangentially...
2022-12-0607 min
Code4CouplesEp 84: Crusty Curmudgeon to CourageIn this powerful and personal episode, Cyndi sits down with her husband, retired law enforcement officer Bobby Doyle, to explore how he transformed from a "crusty curmudgeon" into a more open, connected, and grateful version of himself. Bobby shares how years of emotional armor and "just suck it up" culture took a toll on his mindset, marriage, and health — and how choosing vulnerability, gratitude, and emotional awareness changed everything. Together, they talk about practical ways officers and spouses can reconnect, build emotional courage, and rediscover joy both on and off the job. How emotional armor forms in la...
2022-05-1332 min
Code4CouplesEp. 83: The impact of authoritarian spillover. (Featuring my husband!)When Command Presence Comes Home: How authoritarian spillover impacts law enforcement marriages and what you can do to stop it. Learn how police training and command presence can unintentionally create emotional disconnect, shutdowns, and conflict at home — and how to reconnect as a couple. In this episode, Cyndi Doyle and her husband Bobby dive deep into "authoritarian spillover" — how law enforcement's command presence at work can unintentionally spill over into home life. Together, they unpack how training and conditioning for control and authority can impact communication, parenting, and emotional connection in a marriage. With real-life examples, humo...
2022-05-0650 min
Code4CouplesEp 82: How to be a parent and not a cop at home with Lynn McLean, LCSWS, RPTSHow to be a parent and not a cop at home. If you've ever caught yourself using "command presence" with your kids, this episode is your roadmap back to calm, connected parenting. In this episode of the Code4Couples Podcast, Cyndi Doyle sits down with Lynn McLean, a licensed clinical social worker and registered play therapy supervisor, to explore how law enforcement parents can strengthen family connection by shifting away from authoritarian "command presence" parenting. Lynn shares practical tools from her parent training program, including the A.C.T. model (Acknowledge the feeling, Communicate the limit...
2022-04-2937 minCode4CouplesEp 81: Supporting others through Grief in Law EnforcementIn law enforcement culture, people want to show up when tragedy strikes — but most don't know how to support grieving officers, spouses, or families without saying the wrong thing. This episode gives practical, compassionate ways to comfort others through grief while respecting law enforcement culture, boundaries, and traditions. Episode Summary Join Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, law enforcement spouse, and author of Hold the Line, as she talks with grief expert Jill Johnson-Young about what real support looks like in moments of loss. You'll learn: What not to say when someone is grieving ...
2022-04-1548 minCode4CouplesEp. 80: 5 Easy Communication HacksStruggling to stay connected in your law enforcement relationship? Try these 5 easy communication rituals that build trust, reduce stress, and strengthen connection for first responder couples. EPISODE SUMMARY This episode breaks down five practical communication rituals designed to strengthen connection and prevent distance in law enforcement relationships. Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, LEO wife, and author of Hold the Line, shares how hypervigilance, exhaustion, and schedule mismatches can make meaningful conversation difficult — and what couples can do to stay connected. From logistics talks to love map updates and "State of the Union" check-ins, these hacks help first responder co...
2022-04-0839 minCode4CouplesEp. 79: Is it really "Just Friends"?Law enforcement couples often struggle to recognize when a friendship—especially with someone of the opposite sex—crosses emotional boundaries. This episode helps officers and spouses understand how emotional affairs slowly develop, identify warning signs, and rebuild trust and connection by setting clear boundaries and communicating unmet emotional needs. Short Episode Summary In this episode, Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor and author of Hold the Line, unpacks the fine line between healthy friendships and emotional affairs. You'll discover: Why emotional affairs often start as "just friends" Subtle red flags that sign...
2022-04-0123 minCode4CouplesEp 78: The 5 Skills You Need for a Thriving Law Enforcement RelationshipRebuild your emotional connection — the 5 skills every police couple needs to thrive. Law enforcement life can create emotional distance. In this episode, Cyndi breaks down the five key "C" skills every police couple needs to stay strong and connected — even when shift work, emotional spillover, and the culture of the job threaten to pull you apart. 💬 What You'll Learn How cultural conditioning and hypervigilance impact your relationship The difference between "communication" and connection — and how to build both Practical ways to show compassion and avoid emotional burnout The courage t...
2022-03-2535 minCode4CouplesEp 77: Struggles with Relationships, Stigma, and NutritionWhy being married to a police officer or EMT feels harder than it looks — and what your relationship actually needs. If you've felt emotional distance, burnout, or a disconnect at home, this conversation breaks down why it happens and how to rebuild connection. Short Episode Summary In this episode, Kelly Lynch, LCSW, EMT, personal trainer, and nutrition coach, joins Cyndi to unpack the real strain first responders face — and how it impacts their marriages. You'll hear about: How hypervigilance and "always being on" affect emotional connection Why cumulative trauma exposure show...
2022-03-1843 minCode4CouplesEp 76: Conquering Loneliness Together with Rebecca Lynn, Proud Police WifeFeeling disconnected from your spouse during the holidays? 💔 In this episode, we're talking about loneliness in law enforcement marriages — what causes it and how to rebuild connection even when shift work keeps you apart. 🎧 Episode Summary In this heartfelt episode, Cyndi Doyle sits down with Rebecca Lynn, founder of Proud Police Wife and author of 90 Devotions for Women Behind the Badge, to talk about loneliness in law enforcement relationships, especially during the holidays. Together they discuss how loneliness shows up for both spouses and officers, why it's often misunderstood, and practical ways to stay emotionally connected despite...
2021-12-1036 minCode4CouplesEp 75: Sgt Michael Sugrue. Officer Involved, PTSI, and RecoveryThis episode of Code4Couples features retired police sergeant Michael Sugrue, author of Relentless Courage, who opens up about the deadly force incident that changed his life and how he nearly lost everything before finding healing. Michael and Cyndi explore the unspoken impact of trauma, isolation, administrative betrayal, and marital breakdowns in law enforcement life — and how first responders can recover through trust, therapy, and connection. His story offers a roadmap to resilience for officers, spouses, and families navigating the long-term effects of PTSD and trauma. 🎙️ In This Episode, You'll Learn: The call that changed Sgt. Mi...
2021-12-0253 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 67: First Responder Family Resilience with Kim Williamson Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer wife and licensed professional counselor, sits down with Kim Williamson, owner of First Responder Family Wellness Center, mental health professional, and fellow LEO wife, to talk about personal PTSI (PTSD), secondary traumatic stress, the impact on Officer involved incidents on the spouse, and the practice of resilience for law enforcement officers, first responders, and their families. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” EMDR: https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ Sand Tray Therapy: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-sand-tray-therapy-4589493 Post Traumatic Stress Injury: https://www.posttraumaticstressinjury.org Resilience Academy: https://www.firstresponderfamilywellnesscenter.com/resil...
2020-07-3136 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 66 - Dr. Amy Fortney Parks: Understanding and Moving Through Stress as a Family Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, brings on Dr. Amy Fortney Parks to discuss the impact that this pandemic is having on our children and the anxieties that go along with that. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” The Three Phases of Psychological Response to Crisis: Emergency, Regression, and Recovery Amy’s Contact Info: Text “WISEHELP” to 66866 www.thewisefamily.com My website: code4couples.com Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en LinkedIn...
2020-06-1940 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 65: Top 10 From The Last 20 Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, and her Darling Husband celebrated 20 years of marriage and wanted to share their first responder relationship tips they have learned over the years. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Top 10 Tips: 1. Be Adaptable 2. Habits and Reactions 3. Boundaries are Important 4. Enjoy Your Time Off 5. State What You Need 6. Stand In Each Other’s Shoes 7. What You See May Not Be What’s Going On 8.Take Ownership of Your Actions and Ask For Forgiveness 9. Be Willing to Have Difficult Conversations 10. It’s Okay If They’re Not Okay “Eggs...
2020-05-2943 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 64: It's OKay To Not Be Okay Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, talks about the effects this pandemic is having on our minds, bodies, and relationships with our first responders. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Brene Brown- brenebrown.com Aspects of Brain Reactions: Fight or Flight, Grief, Cognitive Dissidence, and Past Trauma Bessel Van de Kolk - https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/ The Body Keeps Score Book - https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748 7 Aspects of Trauma – Lack of Predictability, Immobility, Loss of Connection, Numbing, Loss of Sense of Time and Sequence, Loss of Safety, and Loss of...
2020-04-2052 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 63: Eggshells and Living BIG Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, discusses how to get rid of the feeling of walking on eggshells in your relationship while applying the idea of living BIG. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Ellen Kirschman - https://ellenkirschman.com/ Cooper’s Colors: https://www.bsr-inc.com/awareness-color-code-chart/ Cooper’s Colors Podcast Episode: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-13-its-not-about-the-sponge-stories-we-tell Brene Brown Rising Strong: https://www.amazon.com/Rising-Strong-Ability-Transforms-Parent/dp/081298580X Brene Brown Quote: “What boundaries do I need to set and follow to work and act from a place of integrity...
2020-03-1331 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 62: How the Heck Does Attachment Style Impact Connection? Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, brings on one of her friends, Dr. Jodie Elder, to discuss different attachment styles and how that impacts our connection with our spouses. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Reactions to Attachment Threats: Criticism and Withdraw Attachment Styles: Dismissive, Pre-Occupied, and Fearful Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/ How to Move Towards Secure Attachment: Manage Your Own Stuff and Perception of Our Partner Jodie’s Handout: https://www.dropbox.com/s/aljt01jzka94i3u/Dr.%20Jodie%20Elder%20Attachment%20and%20Connection.pdf?dl=0 Jodie’s Contact In...
2020-02-2830 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 61: My Husband Finally Read Gilmartin and The Lightbulb Came On Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, sits down with her Darling Husband and chats about his 5 takeaways from Dr. Gilmartin’s Book Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Kevin Gilmartin’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-survival-law-enforcement-officers/dp/0971725403 Darling Husband’s 5 Takeaways: The Job, The Whole Job, and Nothing but The Job. 2. Dealing with Hypervigilance. 3. The Burn Out. 4. What Officers Actually Control. 5. Police Work Isn’t 24/7. My website: code4couples.com Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_do...
2020-02-1425 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 60: The Divorce Myth Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, does the research to myth bust the divorce rate among law enforcement couples and hopes to give some peace of mind. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” First Responder Mental Health Conference: https://www.backingthebluedenton.com/ Podcast Episode with That Peer Support Couple: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-46-that-peer-support-couple Podcast Episode with Dr. Stephanie Conn: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-47-the-importance-of-resilience Stephanie Conn’s Book - https://www.amazon.com/Increasing-Resilience-Police-Emergency-Personnel/dp/1138643688 Jeff Shannon Police One: https://www.policeone.com/off-duty/articles/p1-first...
2020-01-3119 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 59: Rachel Dolcine - Love Behind the Blue Line Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, sits down with fellow law enforcement officer wife and author, Rachel Dolcine, to discuss her book Love Behind the Blue Line and her experience being married to an officer. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Rachel’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Behind-Blue-Line-Stories/dp/1945464968 Freddie Gray: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Freddie_Gray IACP: https://www.theiacpconference.org/ Sponge Story Podcast Episode: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-13-its-not-about-the-sponge-stories-we-tell Rachel’s Contact Info: Instagram - @racheljspeaks @love_behind_blue_line Facebook - @rachel...
2019-12-1326 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 58 - Responding with Resilience: Kate Pieper - Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, chats with her colleague and fellow first responder supporter, Kate Pieper – LMFT, about how to become a resilient individual and couple in the first responder community. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - CISM - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_incident_stress_management - EMDR - https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ - CHP - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Highway_Patrol - CDAA - https://www.cdaa.org/ - Emotional Survival for Law Enforcemen...
2019-11-1525 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 53 - I Rolled My Ankle: Coping With My Own Eggshells - Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, sits down with her Darling Husband to discuss the importance of officers being aware of their own needs and communicating that to their partners so their partners are not having to walk on eggshells. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Four Factors of Officer’s Demeanor: Stress, Conditioning of Reacting, Anxiety or Lack of Control, and Shift Mindset. - Gottman “ritual” - https://www.gottman.com/blog/5-rituals-reconnect-relationship/ - My website: www.code4couples.com - Social Media...
2019-08-2325 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 47: The Importance of Resilience- Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, sits down with Dr. Stephanie Conn, licensed psychologist and former police officer, to talk about resiliency and her book Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel: Strengthening Your Mental Armor. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Dr. Stephanie Conn’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/Increasing-Resilience-Police-Emergency-Personnel/dp/113864367X/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=stephanie+conn+book&qid=1556128706&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull - Dr. Gillmartin’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-survival-law-enforcement-officers/dp/0971725403/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=gilmartin+book&qid=1556130599...
2019-04-2627 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 44: Trauma with Brittainy Wagner - Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, interviews fellow therapist, Brittainy Wagner, about trauma and how that impacts us as individuals and as couples. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Tidemark Therapy in Denison, Texas - https://www.tidemarktherapy.com/ - Trauma Aspects: Emotional, Physical, Neglect/Betrayal, Events (death, natural disasters, health-related) - Three Way of Trauma Spillover: Angry Distance, Romantic, and Social - My website: www.code4couples.com - Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ ...
2019-03-0725 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 43: Real Struggle, Real Resilience: Asst. Chief John & Stephanie Oldham- Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, sits down with fellow LEO couple Asst. Chief John and Stephanie Oldham to discuss how they navigated through the challenges that we tend to face being in a first responder relationship. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - IACP Conference: https://www.theiacpconference.org/attend/past-conferences/ - Gottman Training: https://www.gottman.com/professionals/training/ - The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work book: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797 - Gottman Cards App: https://www.gottman.com/coupl...
2019-02-1448 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 40: Making the Most of Holidays - Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, created a fun and humorous list of why having a first responder spouse during the holidays can be quite enjoyable! - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - First Responder Holiday List: 1. Traditions 2. Night Shift 3. Package Stealers 4. Get Out of Going to Parties 5. Shopping - Intimacy Ops Plan “Bringin’ on the Heat!” Freebie: https://www.code4couples.com/freebie - My website: www.code4couples.com - Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Inst...
2018-12-2012 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 39: Bulletproof Marriage with Adam Davis- Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, brings author, Adam Davis, back to talk about his newest devotional book Bulletproof Marriage, which he co-wrote with Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, to help LE couples avoid pitfalls. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Bulletproof Marriage: https://www.amazon.com/Bulletproof-Marriage-Devotional-Adam-Davis/dp/1424557593/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1544632540&sr=8-1&keywords=bulletproof+marriage+adam+davis - Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Grossman_(author) - Dr. John and Julie Gottman: https://www.gottman.com/ ...
2018-12-1317 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 37: Nagging, Control, Criticism, Complaints- Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, discusses the possible underlying complaints behind nags or even controlling remarks and how to get curious about those in order to discuss them with your significant other in a healthy manor. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Bulletproof Marriage by Adam Davis: https://books.google.com/books/about/Bulletproof_Marriage.html?id=ZJN2swEACAAJ - Nag definition: annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault-finding or continuous urging - Previous “Control” Podcast: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-31-con...
2018-07-2729 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 34: Reconnecting - Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, talks about how staying connected through shifts and schedules is hard but gives some steps to get reconnected and to stay intimate with your partner. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - IACP: www.theiacp.org/ - Reconnecting Steps: 1. Check in with yourself 2. Take the other person’s temperature 3. Take care of immediate needs 4. Schedule time to talk and connect 5. Get ready to share. - My website: www.code4couples.com - Social Media: Facebook - https://w...
2018-06-1515 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 33: Females in Law Enforcement and Impact on Relationships- Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, sits down with former female law enforcement officer, Autumn Clifford, who created the Lady Sheepdog movement. She gives insight into what it was like to be a female in a very male dominant career as well as discusses some of the impacts that has on LEO relationships. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - War on Cops Podcast: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-32-hard-week-war-on-cops - On Combat Book: https://www.amazon.com/Combat-Psychology-Physiology-Deadly-Conflict/dp/0964920549 - Lady Sheepdog Acade...
2018-05-0414 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 30: Cooper's Colors - Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, is joined by her Darling Husband again to discuss Col. Jeff Cooper’s Awareness Color Code and how that pertains to first responders and also their spouses. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Col. Jeff Cooper’s Colors: https://www.bsr-inc.com/awareness-color-code-chart/ - OODA Loop Podcast: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-4-does-your-leo-ooda - My website: www.code4couples.com - Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https...
2018-03-3010 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 29: Adam Davis - Behind the Badge- Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, interviews former police officer turned author, Adam Davis. Adam talks about his experience as an officer and what led him to become an author. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Spirit and Truth: https://www.theadamdavis.com/product/pre-order-spirit-truth-52-devotions-for-law-enforcement-revised-2017/ - Behind the Badge: https://www.amazon.com/Behind-Badge-Devotions-Americas-Enforcement/dp/1424556465 - Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Grossman_(author) - Adam Davis’ Website: https://www.theadamdavis.com/ - My website: www.code4couples.c...
2018-03-2317 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 24: How to Hear the Hard Stuff (or not so Hard Stuff) as a LEO Spouse Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, brings up the much needed topic of how to speak to your spouse, especially your first responder spouse. In the first responder world the day to day happenings can be pretty difficult to hear about but as spouses it is important to really listen to them and make a connection with them. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Important things to work on: listening, facial expressions, words, learn lingo, procedures and policies, and empathy. Acronym Podcast Episode: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-15-can-you-relate-txfallenpd My web...
2018-01-1912 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 23: Coping with Loneliness as a First Responder Spouse - Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, talks about the topic of being alone versus lonely. She gives some great insight on how to cope with loneliness and to be okay with being alone. - Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” - Lonely Versus Being Alone: Emotional State and Physical State - Teddy Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Things to work on: expectations, comparisons, mindset, appreciation, independence and write permission slips. - My website: www.code4couples.com - Social Media: Facebook...
2018-01-1221 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 22: Cleaning Your Relationship House Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, discusses how to clean your “relationship house” for the New Year! Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Gottman Institute Relationship House Diagram: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-sound-relationship-house-turn-towards-instead-of-away/ Gottman Institute Relationship House Blog: https://www.gottman.com/blog/building-a-sound-relationship-house/ My website: code4couples.com Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/ Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/cyndidoylelpc/pins/ Twitte...
2018-01-0516 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 21: Overcoming Christmas Challenges Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, gives some advice on how to make the holiday challenges with your first responder partner a little more bearable. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Helpful tips: plan ahead, determine priorities, compromise, traditions Previous Podcast: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-20-thanksgiving-fail-a-compromise-story My website: code4couples.com Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/ Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/cyndidoylelpc/pins/ ...
2017-12-2211 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 20 - Thanksgiving Fail: A Compromise Story Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, tells a marriage failure story that happened during Thanksgiving many years ago and gives her advice on how to compromise with your spouse. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” How to compromise and what questions to ask: You have to be willing; Figure out what the non-negotiable is; are there any values surrounding this issue; does it relate to your background; is there a dream; what happens if the dream is not honored; what’s the disaster scenario; only pick one or two non-negotiables My websi...
2017-12-1513 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 19: The Hardest Easiest Way to Communicate Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor, discusses some communication techniques to improve your overall direct communication with others. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” THINK acronym: Truthful, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind Gottman Institute- Soft Start-Up: https://www.gottman.com/blog/weekend-homework-assignment-softening-startup/ My website: code4couples.com Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/ Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/cyndidoylelpc/pins/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/cyndidlpc ...
2017-12-0817 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 18: Kandis Hutton, LMFT and LEOW - Nailing Parenting Transition Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor sits down and talks with fellow LEO wife, Kandis Hutton, LMFT, about the transition of becoming a new parent along with her law enforcement officer husband. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” “I Love a Cop” by Ellen Kirschman: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Cop-Revised-Police-Families/dp/159385353X “Counselling Cops” by Ellen Kirschman: https://www.amazon.com/Counseling-Cops-What-Clinicians-Need/dp/1462524303 Kandis Hutton, CIFT website: http://ciftcounseling.com/staff/ Psychology Today Page: https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/name/Kandis_Hutton_MA,LMFT_Orange_California_350301 Instagram: @kandishutton...
2017-11-1018 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 17: Bringing PTSD Into the Light, A conversation with Deborah Ortiz from Code 9 Project Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor sits down and talks with fellow LEO wife, Debbie Ortiz, from Code 9 Project. Debbie is the co-founder of Code 9, as well as the director and producer of Code 9: Officer Needs Assistance Documentary. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder Code 9 Project Website: http://www.code9project.org/ West Coast Post-trauma Retreat: http://www.frsn.org/retreats/wcpr Code 9 Film:http://www.thecode9film.com/home.html Code 9 Project Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/Code9p...
2017-11-0325 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 16: Keeping Things Pumpkin Spicy! Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor talks about ways to keep things spicy in your First Responder/LEO relationship! Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Forms of Connection: Verbal, Emotional, and Physical “It’s Not About the Nail” video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg My website: code4couples.com Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/ Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/cyndidoylelpc/pins/ ...
2017-10-2720 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 15: Can You Relate? #TXFallenPD Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor came up with a list of certain things that first responder spouses roll their eyes at! Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” List summary: backs to the wall, full moon, dark humor, view on life, creative language, free or donated food, movie criticism, not knowing first names, being really early, don’t walk on the gun side, and commenting on cars and their violations. October 21st in Highland Village, Texas: Texas Police Chiefs Association’s Fallen Officer Fund: http://txfallenpd.com/777/Fallen-Officers-Bike-Race-and-5K Online Auction: h...
2017-10-1813 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 14: Kicking the Cat - Frustration Displacement Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor talks about ‘frustration aggressive displacement syndrome’ or more commonly known as the ‘kick the cat syndrome’. This is especially common in First Responder and LEO couples. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Gottman “Turn Toward Me”: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/ Alpena, Michigan: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpena,_Michigan Kick the Cat Syndrome: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kick_the_cat Frustration Aggression Displacement Syndrome: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frustration%E2%80%93aggression_hypothesis Dealing with the frustration steps: 1) Recognize that it’s happening and brea...
2017-10-0618 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 13: It's Not About the Sponge! Stories We Tell. Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer’s wife and licensed professional counselor shares her “sponge story” and talks about how things aren’t always what they seem. Communication is so important, especially when we aren’t sure of all the facts of the situation. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Seinfeld Sponge Worthy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfQBKB4s1ks Be aware of your own stories versus the facts. Try and pause to think about the facts and your interpretation. It’s not always about you. Check things out with your partner. My website: code4couples.com...
2017-09-2914 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 12: Hypervigilance Continued Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer wife and licensed professional counselor, continues the discussion on hypervigilance. She talks about the affects it has on the relationships of first responders and their partners along with the affects that it has on them physically, emotionally, and socially. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Last Week’s Episode: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-11-hypervigilance Victoria Newman Blog: http://www.how2loveyourcop.com/ “Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement” by Kevin Gilmartin - https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-survival-law-enforcement-officers/dp/0971725403/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505331271&sr=8-1&keywords=emotional+survival+for+law+enforc...
2017-09-2218 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 11: Hypervigilance Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer wife and licensed professional counselor, talks about what hypervigilance is, the process of it, and the biological effects that it has on our officers and first responders. This is going to be part one of a two part podcast. Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Hypervigilance - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance “Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement” by Kevin Gilmartin - https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-survival-law-enforcement-officers/dp/0971725403/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505331271&sr=8-1&keywords=emotional+survival+for+law+enforcement OODA Loop Podcast - http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode...
2017-09-1518 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 10: Why First Responders Need to Open Up Cyndi Doyle, law enforcement officer wife and licensed professional counselor, discusses the importance for first responders and law enforcement officers to open up to their spouses and partners, since keeping things in can have more consequences than they may realize. Not only can “bottling things up” harm your mental health but it can take a toll on your physical and emotional health as well and unfortunately that affects your significant others. Cyndi talks about four steps to create a healthy habit in opening up to your spouse or partner and build a better connection. They include: start small, share something that...
2017-09-0817 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 9: Making Space for Your LEO Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor Rehab Unit for First Responders: http://www.firstrespondersrecovery.com/police-officers/ Brene Brown – The Power of Vulnerability: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o Brene Brown – Empathy Cartoon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw Four ways to ‘Make Space’ for your LEO or First Responder: 1. Listen to the story and suggest emotion 2. Ask open-ended questions 3. Empathize with any emotion that you’re hearing 4. Shut Up. Deep conversation = more intimacy LEO and First Responder marriages have a 60% divorce rate My website: code4co...
2017-09-0115 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 8: Numbing Out Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor Numbing: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/numbing Recovery: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/recovery OODA Loop Podcast: http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-4-does-your-leo-ooda Hypervigilance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance Brene Brown: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bren%C3%A9_Brown No-Doz: http://www.nodoz.com/Caffeine_caplet.html and Adderall: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adderall Candy Crush: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candy_Crush_Saga Balance between taking care of yourself and numbing out. QVC: http://www.qvc.com/ G...
2017-08-2519 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 7: When Fear Sets In Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor Anxiety - https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anxiety Xanax - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alprazolam Forms of anxiety - anger, depression, worry, and addiction Stinkin-Thinkin - https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-top-10-types-of-stinkin-thinkin/ Cognitive Traps - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_traps_for_intelligence_analysis Fight or Flight - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response Amygdala - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala Cortisol - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol Bob Newhart: Stop It - https://www.youtube.com/wa...
2017-08-1828 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 6: Take off Your Pants and Put on Mine Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Cyndi Doyle – LEO wife and licensed professional counselor Ernesto Segismundo: https://www.fylmit.com/ B-roll: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-roll Perspective: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/perspective Teddy Roosevelt: https://quotefancy.com/quote/33048/Theodore-Roosevelt-Comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy OODA Loop: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop http://code4couples.libsyn.com/episode-4-does-your-leo-ooda My website: code4couples.com Social Media: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/cyndidoylelpc/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cyndi_doyle/?hl=en LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndidoylelpc/ Pinterest - https://www.pinterest...
2017-08-1117 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 5: Support from Bless the Badge Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Cyndi Doyle from Code4Couples with special guest Lisa Lerner from Bless the Badge Bless the Badge Website: http://blessthebadge.com/ Adopt –a-Cop: http://adopt-a-cop.org/ In Faith Ministries: https://www.infaithministries.org/ 501C3: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/501(c)_organization Police Chaplain: http://www.pastoralcounseling.org/career/police-chaplain https://www.policeone.com/police-jobs-and-careers/articles/5728400-How-police-chaplains-can-serve-your-community/ Allison Uribe “Wives on Duty”: http://www.wivesonduty.com/ “Cuffs and Coffee” by Allison Uribe - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MY7Y044/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Allison Uribe’s First Book “Be...
2017-08-0421 min
Code4CouplesEpisode 4: Does Your LEO OODA Intro and Outro music by Big State “Bad Timing / Bad Luck” Cyndi Doyle – therapist, educator, blogger, and LEO wife Duomo in Milan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duomo Oxytocin - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin When trying to have a moment with your LEO but they are off in their own world… what is that? : OODA Loop - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop Observe, Orient, Decide and Act Colonel John Boyd coined OODA Loop -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Boyd_(military_strategist) Observe – constantly scanning surroundings Orient - information gets run through a mental filter Decide – c...
2017-07-2816 min